Amstell vs. Fielding

>Simon: Is that how it works, you just say funny words just try out weird words hippopotamus and juggling? Anyone can do that. I've got facts based jokes
>Noel: Don't make me cut the stuffing out of your pillow
>Simon: With a pair of scissors made of glitter?
>Noel: No, with a motorbike made of jealousy

Why did Noel get the big laugh when Simon demolished his entire act in a few sentences? This guys is like 50 and acts like a LOLRANDOM XD teenager.

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    forgot link

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >why is the crowd cheering the babyface i do not comprehend
    Baka.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >babyface
      he looks like Laurence Olivier in Richard III

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        It's a wrestling term. He's the hero and the host of the show is the antagonist

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Confidence

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Because he showed that he could take the banter

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Exactly, he leaned into the joke which Amstell had made, he didn't get butthurt about it.

      Amstell is completely correct and I'm sad that I haven't seen him doing anything other than Never mind. Does anyone have any recommendations with him in them?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        No he had a mental breakdown after doing the show and became a whiny new age vegan homosexual. Lots of really offensive comedians from the 2000s became absolute homosexuals after the great awokening (looking at Frankie Boyle)

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Frankie Boyle did it for different reasons; he was the "edgy guy" for years, then his shows kept getting canceled because they were shit.
          So what do to? Toe the line, suck TV wiener and pull up the ladder behind you, of course!
          So his shows are now a big room full of people who agree, nothing gets discussed, and he still gets his edgy monologues to maintain his former image as the "offensive" guy.
          Insidious fricker, he is. Seriously, be wary of people like that.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            You mean everyone?

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Charlie Brooker is another example of this, though to a lesser extent.

            >omg I'm such an edgy misanthrope who hates people BUT I'M SUCH A NICE GUY AND I HAVE A GUARDIAN COLUMN REFUGEES WELCOME FRICK BIGOTRY AND TRANSPHOBIA

            frick off

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              Brooker was always an edgy misanthrope who hated shitty self-serving people like marketers and advertisers. His schtick was always punching up or across

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            You think a stand-up comedy gig is the venue for ‘discussion’?

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              No. But I think a round-table show should discuss things, not just agree and solve nothing.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            le nodding scottish cuck face

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >his shows kept getting canceled because they were shit
            I saw him live in 2012 and everyone had a laugh. He only got shit after he started trying to get political. I miss old nihilist Frankie.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              So he doubled-down on the political stuff, and the BBC gave him a show? That's even worse.
              He was always monotonous; one-track edgy and oooh so dangerous and challenging yeah, but to have his crowdthink funded by loicence crowdfunding is a better joke than he could write.
              His New World Order show is abysmal. But I guess the guests check the correct boxes.
              I must be a bigot for thinking it's completely fricking stupid.
              What a fricking mess.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                >So he doubled-down on the political stuff, and the BBC gave him a show?
                Yes.
                >He was always monotonous; one-track edgy and oooh so dangerous
                He started slowly moving in that direction from Last Days of Sodom onwards. Tramadol Nights was his peak standup, but he was even better on Mock the Week when he had Dara to keep the discussion moving. You could drop the rest and just have those two in a room and you would have a show.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        i wish to go back, and bury my head between miquita olivers legs while simon takes the piss out of the kooks

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          For me, it was Alexa Chung

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            alexa chung is no fun, she looks like she eats rice crackers and drinks lemon water

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              Tfw you will never eat alexa chung's rice cracker..... bro's......

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Was she stoned for about 10 years, or just moronic?

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              Low IQ probably, but pretty. I guess that's all you need to get a leg-up in TV.
              Might explain Fearne Cotton, Alex Zane etc., all those empty-headed witless twats.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          I once saw this clip of Miquita with this see through top and perky jiggly breasts shining through doing some interview somewhere on Ibiza or whatever and I've never been able to find the entire bit again.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            guy on the right is Abs from Five (5ive)
            i had a search on google but can't find anything

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              Why did you let me know that? Now all I can hear in my head is IF YA GETTIN DOWN BABY

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                >5ive song
                >not thinking immediately of keep on moving

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                Keep on Moving is the classic, but If Ya Gettin Down is the one I sing at the top of my voice to annoy friends and family.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            years ago there was a website that catalogued shit like this on british tv, but i think it's gone now.
            sic transit gloria mundi

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Grandma's house. Sitcom written by and starring him. Literally the only fun he's ever done besides NMTB

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >I've got facts based jokes
    Dear lord, what an embarrassing thing to have said

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >facts based
      That literally means non lolrandum garbage. He is an embarrassing homosexual though.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      He only read his girlfriend's book.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I work with a lesbian who looks exactly like this.

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    who was in the wrong here?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      They're both arseholes.
      One's a talentless dick, and understandably offended, the other is a tryhard tit who thinks he has to be cruel to be funny.
      Frick the both of them, to be honest.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Bullies are hilarious though. Punching down is the funniest thing you can witness.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      he shouldve told his wife the book idea was fricking stupid

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I mean it's not like it was written for its literary value.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >who was in the wrong here?
      Everyone except Professor Green.

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The applause was a vote of confidence.
    It was a 'we still like you Noel'.
    Clearly Noel got completely anhilated here that was never in question.
    Noel still dislikes Amstell even now and so does that fat frick Jupitus.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      It's because Amstell pretty much ruined the show because no celebrity would guest on it. Fair play though, Amstell should have killed that show for good because they're bringing it back for like the 3rd time now.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Fourth time, I think.
        Rhod Gilbert's run failed, stupidly to their surprise. Now it's Greg Davies AGAIN.
        I do like the guy, but Jesus Christ I'm fricking sick of seeing him.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          DID you know that Greg Davies used to be a teacher?!

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            DUDE I HAD NO IDEA. HOW WOULD I POSSIBLY KNOW THAT?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Greg isn't the problem it's Daisy, Jamal and grandpa Noel

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            I didn't watch for long. It was painful.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Who else can they get? The modern crop of comics are fricking godawful.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            It'll probably be Rob Brydon, Phill Jupitus himself, maybe stupid James Acaster or some over-exposed idiot like that.
            Yeah, the modern crop should die in the cold. I'm so sick of their tiresome cookie-cutter shite.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              You will have Sarah Pascoe and you will love it.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                Please no. Her voice is like a fork on a bottle.
                Isn't it funny that every comedienne is also a feminist?
                It doesn't make them funnier. Just tell jokes, for frick's sake.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                I remember Boyle talking about how sexist UK comedy was by saying he knew a producer who would refer to a comedian as "c**ty McNoJokes".

                I couldn't help but think "Oh, were they referring to Sarah Pascoe, Sarah Millican, Jo Brand, or Josie Long?"

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                To a point, they were probably talking about him. I wouldn't be surprised.
                I can't think of a crafted joke Boyle has made. And I was a fan.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        the big issue is that there aren't enough musicians anyone cares about willing to go on at this point. Amstell created a rivival but it was always going to be temporary.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          True most of the guests were indie twats and indie died in 2012. Imagine having to roast mysterymeat grime artists in 2022 without coming off as racist.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            trivial for any decent UK comedian actually, because everyone on both sides aren't looking for an excuse to lose their shit.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >He never saw the dappy episodes

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Saw jupitus live a few years ago. He was shite.
      Lots of long pauses for "effect" and heavy breathing.
      Tried a coupe of pops at the crowd as insult humour and just came away cringy and prickish

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Was he still in his phase where he just ended random sentences by shouting LOL and that was the joke?

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    the joke is a joke about his joke
    "with facts and jealousy is an actually funny fact based joke in the context after the exchange"
    noels act wasnt demolished by this guy but validated by him kek the fact man managed to btfo himself even though he was entirely correct kek

    its abit high brow low brow

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    well I hate Noel, I really really hate him. Like A LOT.

    But mighty boosh still good.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I don't mind his lolsorandom when its in a structured show like boosh. Everywhere else though and its just cringe

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I've only seen Noel in panel shows and he clearly doesn't have the chops for actual stand-up bits, however
    >I've got facts based jokes
    What kind of autismo says something like that? I'm not surprised I've never heard of that comedian.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Simon Amstell's autism was the best part of the show. He demolished Courtney Love and made Noel shit his pants with this joke.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Based and fact based.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        this was the best joke of the entire history of panel shows

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          The best part is the reaction. Noel looks butthurt, the indie shithead looks like he's fearing Love's impending BPD wrath, and David Cross is just laughing for a solid minute.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        That's some low hanging fruit joke.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        fricking state of that disclaimer

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          sorry anon, but he didn't have a licence for that beast of a comeback

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >you can't claim someone murdered their husband on national TV without some kind of extra context

          this is the kind of nanny state we live in I'm afraid. Boris will probably gas us all after the Jubilee.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >anon's never heard of a defamation lawsuit
            Courtney Love is infamously litigious.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              I am making the point that the law is not too extreme just because you have to make it clear that something is a joke.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                Ah, didn't catch the sarcasm.

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >DONNYS SMOKING NOW?!

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Love this. Such a cringelord, triggered by everything.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      This is funny and very uncomfortable.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      His helmet turned blue.

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Craig from Corrie is there

    How old is this episode? It isn't 2005 anymore, get the frick over it bro

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Grim

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Did you ever see those posts she did on that music forum when she was a teen? Now that's depressing.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        which ones?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      She was a qt before all the drugs. Shame about the accent tho

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        did her mam know Bruce Willis?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      ay, me winehose

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    All panel shows are cringe and moronic

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    For me it's the Preston episode. Saw it when it first aired and still reel to this day.

    I'm legit scared of Simon Amstell. Guy's an animal.ptmkh

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      he's actually too savage to be able to maintain a prominent showbiz career. you have to avoid pointing out what a bunch of hacks everyone is to retain some level of goodwill.

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    hilarious every time an American appeared on the show.

  17. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    He added onto the bantz he was already receiving. Neil 'lost' that exchange, but that doesn't really matter because he still took it in stride.

    Poster is probably American who can't do humor without someone to laugh at.

  18. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >love suicide joke
    >winehouse foreshadowing
    >donny episode
    >preston episode
    any other nmtbkino?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Dappy episode

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >dappy
        he's legit moronic, isn't he

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          dunno but the girl in that band was pretty good
          >that bj video
          grim

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Obviously. Why do you think he was famous for fifteen minutes? Everyone over the age of 20 was laughing at him.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      The one where Jermaine Jackson was on and he said "Michael's a bit weird, isn't he?"

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Genuinely hilarious, just saying what everyone was thinking.

  19. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    i mean, in that context noel fieldings little aphorisms aren’t even non sequiters it’s just more like a flowery prose. and i don’t like noel fielding but the other guy comes off like he’s riding a motorbike of jealousy innit

  20. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Based. Frick Fielding.

  21. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The entire point of the show is for the host to mock the guests and team captains.

    It's literally just banter that Noel handled quite well, so the audience appreciated it.

  22. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I always liked uhh the sex addict comedian better. Brant? Oh yeah Brand Russel Brand. He had a similar manic energy and his wordplay was clever and intelligible, never just random

  23. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    because Noel is a chad and Amstell is a prissy vegan homosexual

  24. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    because fielding sort of admirably conceded amstells point with that final comment. Although amstell was totally right, fielding knows it as well as anyone. To his credit I've seen him say that he knows people who are 10x more talented than him but had no success, so he knows he doesn't necessarily deserve it.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah, he's kind of annoying but I can't hate him that much. It was the people that dick rode like crazy that I couldnt stand

  25. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I've got that Goo jumper, very comfy

  26. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Long live the king

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Lamarr actually cared about music and never let the show become top heavy with conceited modern pop artists.

  27. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    noel is funny
    OP is gay

  28. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    This was the highlight of a very strong series. Amstell was probably a better host than lamarr and i wish he hadn't been such an artiste about his career, his stand-up is dogshit

  29. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Joe List and Mark Normand just shot some kind of panel show in London. Joe said he was out of jokes after 5 minutes, can't wait to see that trainwreck. Unfortunately not out yet, will take a couple of months until it airs.

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