And I present to you.

The detective noir movie with the most boring mystery of all time.

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    A detective movie where no one thinks of investigating where the frick the criminal took the photos from nor tracking down activity from his website, shit than even low quality crap like NCIS does.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >shit than even low quality crap like NCIS does.
      Which episode?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I don't fricking know, i only watched like two episodes.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Like almost all of them...it's a procedural show.

          I'm not trying to argue with you guys. I just want to know if any of these shows track a killer based on their seethe posts on forums like this. Like we are in 2022 and moronic boomers like Reeves think Cinemaphile is some deep part of the net that FBI isn't aware of.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Like almost all of them...it's a procedural show.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      But he's like the bestest Batman ever cos he's a total detective in this one!

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous
    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      > be the greatest detective in the world with the most sophisticate and powerful technology in his personal cave
      > get blocked by some encryption to a "sekrit club" stream that somehow hundreds of red neck on the internet manage to join and participate.
      Lul

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Those weren't rednecks.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Bruce should still have access to all of it if it's something tech related, this is the same guy who ocasionally tracks down kryptonite to kill Superman with

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >cinemasins fans baffled by kino

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      How do you know they didn't? The place he shot from and the place he took photos from could be different condos.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        You can see from the angle and the window frames anon. I thought it would be much more vague but some of the photos were just literally looking down from his apartment.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Because they don't say one word about it, meaning it's not on the writers mind. A good writer takes care of his plotholes as much as he can, he doesn't make a 3 hour movie with a tacked on ending. And 2 pointless Joker Cameos on top of that.

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    snyder shill still seething

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      BTAS shill*.

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    A Batman movie where Batman is a shit detective and can't throw a decent punch. Top tier entertainment in 2022.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Top tier entertainment in 2022.
      If there's one thing that I want to thank Top Gun: Maverick for, it's for completely obliterating all these moronic claims about how this was going to be the best blockbuster of this year. Hopefully by the time Avatar comes around this is pushed back into irrelevance.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Batzoomers have gone real quiet after MoM and Maverick. I have never seen a Batman film disappear from public discourse as fast as this one.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          MoM?

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            The Marvel movie by Raimi

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >MoM
          Nice try mouseshill

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Well..
          Thirdies who hate America
          Are not people you talk to about things you like

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            They think we actually like them. It's amazing these subhumans talk so much shit, bait so much, and they think we give a frick their opinion or want them around on the websites we actually go to.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          It's still being talked about right fricking now you insufferable moron. Multiverse of Shit isn't.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            This only comes up to be mocked and laughed at and to bait the mouth breathers that actually think it was a good movie.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        The majority of the fanbase for the film are just the twilight c**ts still foaming over Pattinson so it'll fade out on its own as they move onto whatever he does next anyway.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Truth be told, this is a step backwards for Pats. He built up this persona as a serious actor and this put him back in emo pretty boy territory. The performance was so bad. It's obvious he was being given poor instructions.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >Pattinson Batman
            >bad performance

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous
              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                Keked.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous
              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                >these stills will SURELY explain somehow that his performance was bad
                Terminate your subscription to life magazine

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                He does it the whole movie. Never just lets his character be cool or mystic. Always a soi boy just walking around straight into gun fire.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                >Never just lets his character be cool or mystic
                You don't have to lie anon, plenty of shots like that

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                uh uh

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                >Terminate your subscription to life magazine
                >ugh...that sounded better in my head.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              >Grrrr I'm totally Le Batman now

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Pattinson did not look like he even beefed up for the role.

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The Batman was kino. Bruce was literally me. Pakistan won.

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Not even close. Only one there.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous
  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    That goddamn weird looking flat nosed gimp mask...who designed that and why did it get the ok? I mean he's wearing practically full body armour but has a stitched leather helm?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >has a stitched leather helm?
      Weirdly enough, that stitched helmet deflects bullets.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I find the batsuit being able to tank through rifle shot at point blank range makes the fight pretty lame.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah. The movie is just a cavalcade of bad creative choices.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          The batsuit eating a 12 gauge like that with him still having the capacity to carry his entire weight with one arm was incredibly baffling.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            But him giving himself a dose of venom to keep going was pretty cool.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            What's more asinine is Reeves claiming this suit is supposed to give a garage made vibe and not high tech.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              He wasn't exactly banking on an intelligent audience.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                It's ablative armor.
                Are you guys all foreigners or something? You've never seen ablative armor?
                Really?

                We got one guy who has no grip strength whatsoever and another amazed by armor 40 years old

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                you're a fricking moron throwing around a term you clearly just learned...

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                It's 40 years old you moron lol
                It was made famous in gulf War 1.
                You have to be a thirdie. Why do you think we he got shot it "burned" sections away. The punisher used soft form ablation armor as well. He was getting shot and it was poofing out.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                Getting blasted that far back means the pellets energy didn't dissipate.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                It took it in the fricking chest misstep after a 10 minute fight

                >Are you guys all foreigners or something? You've never seen ablative armor?
                Midwit, I'd like to see any armour that deflects machine gun fire like water droplets at close range and stop the proud white American act, you subhuman. You're defending a film where the only good politician is a negress and another mutt lectures our hero on white privilege.

                You just saw it you dumbass lol. He's wearing literally tank armor on his chest and shoulders.

                It's going to knock him around but it won't pierce lol

                What in the hell guys. Soldiers get tagged by AK rounds all the time and don't even notice sometimes.
                Jesus christ what year are you guys from.
                You can get shot with plates and a vest on, you might not even notice at times.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                >He's wearing literally tank armor on his chest and shoulders.
                You could at best argue it uses similar tech like tank armour and no soldiers don't shrugg off machine gun fire like this at close range.
                https://youtu.be/cxR0i3iqlvI
                If you know any lightweight armour that can do this, I suggest you call the US military because you're about to become a multimillionaire.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                I'm not the autistic anon you're replying to but vehicles usually use reactive armor where they explode upon impact to disperse the thrust of an armor piercing projectile..

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                I know about reactive armour dude but the tech used for tanks can't be perfectly replicated for humans, especially with the capabilities shown in the video.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                Yeah I don't know what that anon is talking about.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                ... last post
                It's based off tier 1 ablative body armor
                He's got a metal tank plate ontop of a bullet proof vest.
                Yes. They can just do that. Yes rangers the tier 1 guys do do this, same with the "recon" marines who have a new name.
                Just frick.
                Never go to war with America if you think we can't do this, because we are.

                It's too late here for this thirdie moron shit. Just frick. How far behind us are you.

                Good night.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                Are you an autistic Black person? Plates are only semi-ablative.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                >Yes rangers the tier 1 guys do do this, same with the "recon" marines who have a new name.
                No, no they don't. This is now obviously a LARP. American soldiers aren't shrugging off hundreds of machine gun bullets at close range without even being pushed back.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                >Are you guys all foreigners or something? You've never seen ablative armor?
                Midwit, I'd like to see any armour that deflects machine gun fire like water droplets at close range and stop the proud white American act, you subhuman. You're defending a film where the only good politician is a negress and another mutt lectures our hero on white privilege.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            ... why?
            He's wear tier 1 ablative armor.
            And if you can't support your own weight with one hand for a minute just what the frick is wrong with you
            Seriously. What the frick is wrong with you that holding onto a bar with one hand with traction gloves on for 30 seconds is impressive
            Are you that out of shape

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              He legitimately ate shit that blew him off his feet and unto his fall.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                No he didn't. He took it too his ablative armor right in the symbol, then rolled off the rafter to buy himself time and caught himself.
                Jesus dude how weak is your grip

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                I can't do one armed grip for a minute, I can only do up 20 tio 25 pullups before I'm gassed but I legitimately jsut saw the film. Pattinson was blasted away a large distance and yes rolled off.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                Yeah. He got fricked up, rolled for more time and grabbed something. If you can't support your own body weight for 30 seconds your grip is worse than most teenage girls no joke. Just frick dude

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                You claimed a minute. One on hand. Dead hangs are easier when you got two.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                He's doing for roughly 40 seconds
                You are going autistic now.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                No no no, YOU claimed a minute on one hand as the trial. I'm not talking about the film anymore since you tried calling me out.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                A minute 30 seconds go fricking nuts you autist. I'm done Jesus

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous
  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    if betman jacked off the entire time and did nothing the movie would've ended the same

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Imagine the kino we could have gotten instead...

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Cavill and Affleck were the only good casting choices DC made.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Cavill maybe (not really a good actor), but Fat Affleck and his sleepy eyes are a big no

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Calling Affleck "fat" is cope from Pattinson fans who are insecure about their twink Batman. Here you see Affleck's body in BvS. Pattinson was closer to being skinny fat.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Sure, lmao.
            Then you watch him with the suit and he looks like a dark and edgy Santa Claus unless spammed with black cgi.
            You forgot his pudgy face/neck oozing from the cowl, lmao?

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              Are you talking about Joss Whedon's Justice League, because his neck doesn't ooze at all in BvS. He looks great.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                He looks pudgy and his eyes are always sleepy.
                I mean he's not terrible terrible, but he's quite bad

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        No, both of them were miscast too.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        There's also Antje as Faora who was actually supposed to be Wonder Woman.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          I could actually see her as Wondie with her hair grown out. She has that perfect steely eyed look.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Besides snydershit's WW beign awful, AT would at least be billions of times better than Gagagot

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous
          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Besides snydershit's WW beign awful, AT would at least be billions of times better than Gagagot

            That's the thing, she was considering quitting acting altogether before Snyder game with a role. What was supposed to happen is that Antje was supposed to play Wonder Woman, & Gal was supposed to play Faora-Ul. Then Gal got pregnant & to keep the deadlines, the roles have to be changed.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              Forgot to include what Gal took from everyone.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              I refuse to believe that's real. I just can't.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              >she was considering quitting acting altogether before Snyder game with a role.
              Just like Gadot and Momoa, and while it would have been a pity in Antje's case, hollywood would have been better for it.

              Post better lines then. If something is for 14 year olds, it's The Batman. Lines like "I have become a nocturnal animal" and "I am the shadows" reek of edginess.

              >Post better lines then.
              The Lameman was bad too.
              I don't have to settle for one of those two bad options

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                She has been working, but not much, & definitely not mainstream.

                In fact, her last mainstream film I know of is with Gal, & she mogged her there too.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                She's walled unfortunately.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              >What was supposed to happen is that Antje was supposed to play Wonder Woman, & Gal was supposed to play Faora-Ul
              Tf? Faora casting was done before WW.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Clooney 2.0
      No thanks. And good riddance

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        How is Afflack's Batman anything like Clooney? Clooney could have actually been decent too if not for Schumacher's campy direction. But Affleck is on another level. His Batman movie would have been high T James Bond-esque adventuring, with a lot of his rogues appearing like in the Arkham games. Instead we got emo Batman, black Catwoman and incel Riddler.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          That prison scene with Riddler was embarassing to watch through.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            SUFFERING!

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              >Nothing in Batman Forever or even Batman & Robin comes close to that level of cringe.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                HOLY SHIT. I had not seen that scene before. What the actual frick were they thinking?! I thought Paul Dano was a decent actor before, but this is probably the most embarrassing performance in a major movie in recent memory.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            It's actually unwatchably bad. I only got 45 minutes into the film until quitting after Riddler's first facetime message. I watched some clips of later scenes, and it's incredible how bad it is. Nothing in Batman Forever or even Batman & Robin comes close to that level of cringe.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          He was lame, fat and didn't have a single good dialogue or scene.
          Just cringe. Like Clooney.
          >Instead we got emo Batman, black Catwoman And incel Riddler.
          Yeah, and that was bad too.
          But the idea that we have to choose between unwatchable option 1 and unwatchable option 2 is moronic. If we'll get a good option I'll watch, until then I ignore

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            He had some great lines, especially as Bruce Wayne. "How many good guys are left, how many stayed that way", "My parents taught me a different lesson, dying in the gutter for no reason at all", "The world only makes sense if you force it to." Some of the best lines from Batman in any film. Just the image of him staring at the suit had more gravitas than most Batmen.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              >Some of the best lines from Batman in any film. Just the image of him staring at the suit had more gravitas than most Batmen.
              Sure, buddy. If you are 14yo

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                Post better lines then. If something is for 14 year olds, it's The Batman. Lines like "I have become a nocturnal animal" and "I am the shadows" reek of edginess.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >My kino, is what you... took... from me

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    most batman "mysteries"/problems are boring

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Alfred solves all first puzzles
    Penguin solves another puzzle
    Riddle LITERALLY straight up gives answer to last puzzle

    Batman is greatest detective in the world indeed

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