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Anyone on Cinemaphile could have written a better Simpsons movie than what we got.

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  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Homer creampies his own butthole.

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    There was a written scene they mention in the commentary that got replaced with Lisa and that random boy where Bart pressed his ass against the glass dome to Flanders and the condensation made a heart. Shoulda kept that in.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I wish they had kept Moe's "first we were a dystopia, then a utopia, than an Autopia" scene.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        so many good jokes they cut for no reason, baffling

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          gotta be 90 minutes, no matter what

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      They thought it came off creepy, and they were right.
      We already see Bart's dick, for chrissake

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >t. Ameriashart

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >t. Europedo

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >t. Ameriaprude

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >t. Europredator

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        they admitted that they also hyped up his dick too much and it came off as a bit wrong

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >ripoff of under the dome

    yeah.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Kind of hard for The Simpsons Movie to ripoff a book that released 2 years after the movie.

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Because everyone knows Cinemaphile is a viking at writing, right?

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >a movie where the whole of Springfield is isolated inside a dome, what an opportunity to showcase the secondary characters!
    >the Simpsons go to Alaska

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This is as a good a Simpsons movie you could have possibly gotten in the post-90s era.

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Do you seriously want explicit sex scenes between underage characters?

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Who Shot Mr Burns > Simpsons Movie

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's a treehouse of horror movie, little shop of horrors parody were homer falls into the nuclear reactor and Lenny and Carl (but later also Moe and Barney) have to feed him or else there will be a nuclear explosion meanwhile Marge starts dating after homer gets declared dead which ends up merging with homers story when homer starts targeting exclusively Marge's dates after he grows feet and is able to move on his own, Bart takes advantage of the diminishing amount of adults around and ends up convincing the other kids to violate their sleep time and go outside at night leading to the Springfield youths to go feral with Bart as their leader which merges with the main story when they have to stop homer and Lisa joins the little nuclear leaders of tomorrow group as a way to get a better shot at a good college and ends up being the one with the cure or wathever

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Its main mistake was attempting to appeal to people who had never watched the show for zero actual reason.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Like what sense does than even make? The Simpsons had been on the air for nearly twenty goddamn years at that point, odds are anyone who STILL hadn't watched the show by then weren't going to care about the movie anyway.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >hurrr we had to change the sign to "moe's tavern" cause we were afraid people wouldnt get it

        the directors commentary is very depressing to listen to

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Wait but it's worse. It's Moe's Bar in the movie, not even tavern, let alone just Moe's. Because tavern is presumably such an impossibly difficult word you can't expect the average moviegoer to understand it.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        That's why we got that random new kid instead of Lisa having something with Milhouse, because they were worried that people who had never seen the show wouldn't know who Milhouse is.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I didn’t know who the new kid was

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      nah its biggest mistake was attempting to make a movie about jerkass homer where he only learns his lesson in the last 15 minutes

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        homer was in the right the whole time

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >film tries to imply Homer was in the wrong for not wanting to save a town who tried to have his entire family killed for something he did

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          homer was in the right the whole time

          homer single handedly caused the entire town to get locked off from the rest of the country and erased from maps. he deserved the rope

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            yeah, Homer deserved it, not his family
            hell, they were even going to hang Maggie

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              That's fair. Springfield is canonically a town of bloodthirsty morons so I understand they'd overreact, but at the very least Homer definitely deserved it

              no, it was spiderpig's fault

              We should punish him by roasting him on an open fire. Hmmmm.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            no, it was spiderpig's fault

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      South Park movie did it fine, it was skill issue.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        SP wanting to get non fans makes more sense, the show had only been on for (less than) 2 years by the time the film came out.

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    No

  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    if Cinemaphile made the movie it would just be a straight-up porno

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      True, but only of Bart and Lisa

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      is that where Mrs. Krabapple takes Bart's virginity?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Ay, caramba indeed.

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's been 17 years since The Simpsons Movie released, nearly the same amount of time that the show had been on the air at that point

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    FOX wanted them to make a movie for everyone and in the end it was for no one. Just joking, it ain't too bad but pleasing the casuals was a big mistake.

    I think the same movie would've been fine just pleasing fans with cameos and let secondary characters do more.

    Like the Bob's Burgers Movie.

  15. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Should have had Killbot or Itomic as the animation director.

  16. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    this shit killed Julie Kavner's voice for good after James L. Brooks made her redo that one scene 35x in a row

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I would rather have made an Allen Gregory movie than a Simpsons movie.

      And after all that they replaced her with Dan Castellaneta as Grampa. Evil.

  17. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Bart's penis scene was the peak of the movie

  18. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Still better than Hulu's Futurama revival, that shit was atrocious

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Bort

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        How'd they get away with it?

  19. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The Simps

  20. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I unironically liked the Bart sideplot. Little guy is experiencing disillusionment with life at 10 and doesn't have anyone to talk to other than his dad's neighbor. Keep that in at least.

    I think it's always funny how cartoon movies hyperfocus on specific characters rather than making it about everyone. The Spongebob movie was specifically about Spongebob himself only, and the Bob's burgers movie was moreso about Louise and her relationship with her dad.

  21. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    A movie with Bart Simpson as an adult. He returns to his family home in Springfield to find it abandoned and his family long dead and buried. Leaving behind a note claiming a chifforobe as his private property, he boards a train for Shelbyville. Following his experiences in an unspecified war, Bart has become an avowed atheist and intends to spread a gospel of antireligion. Despite his aversion to all trappings of Christianity, he constantly contemplates theological issues and finds himself compelled to purchase a hat and suit that cause others to mistake him for a preacher.
    In Shelbyville, Bart befriends Milhouse Van Houten, a profane, manic, 18-year-old zookeeper forced to come to the city after his abusive father kicked him out of their house.
    Bart becomes a preacher of “the Church of Truth Without Christ,” a religious organization of his own creation, which is against any belief in God, an afterlife, sin, or evil. Milhouse finds a "new" Jesus at the local museum in the form of a shrunken corpse.
    Bart becomes infatuated with Rev. Lovejoy, a blind street-preacher and his daughter, Jessica. She tells him that her father blinded himself for Christ, but Bart discovers he isn’t really blind, and is simply a con artist. The discovery causes Lovejoy to flee, and Jessica moves in with Bart.
    Bart sees an imitator copying his preaching style and kills him. As the man dies in Bart’s arms, he confesses his sins to Bart. After this incident, Bart blinds himself, doing what Lovejoy couldn’t, and becomes an ascetic, walking with rocks and nails in his shoes, and wrapping his body in barbed wire. This scares off Jessica.
    Bart wanders off in a rainstorm, and his landlady calls the police. They find him lying in rubbish in a semi-conscious state and return him to the house where he is placed on a bed. The movie ends with his landlady attempting to speak to the now-completely unresponsive dead young man.

  22. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'm good at discerning funny, but I'm bad at writing it. The fact that at least some people on Cinemaphile find TDC funny tells me that they would fail a litmus test from the get go.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >TDC
      *TADC

  23. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    the sons

  24. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    S11E5

  25. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I would've made hank scorpio the villain, dropped the "under the dome" parody (and spider pig) and use the movie as a means to end the show.

    also an ending scene where the family has grown up and moved away from springfield ending it on a classy high note with one last couch gag where the couch is old and busted so they finally get rid of it for good (though they use it one last time) and drive away before a fade to credits (maybe a post credits with homer sitting on the car at night like he did with his mom, something bittersweet)

    personally I'd write the movie more like "who shot mr burns" but alot more fleshed out, maybe some sort of conspiracy going on like some sort of world domination plot with a ton of call backs to things like the flying hell fish or just them figuring out why their world is so weird/out of touch

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