Apologize.

Apologize.

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I’m only apologizing to 3 because it’s actually fun. 2 is still boring as shit though.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      This. Spielberg should issue a public apology to both the fans and Crichton's estate for TLW.
      Imagine forcing the guy to write a hit sequel and then throwing out most of what he came up with for the film.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        What was different in the book?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >market-analysis
          the book and movie are completely different.
          the lost world (book) is excellent. there is no Hollywood shit like t-rex running around on the mainland at the end. the movie is a fricking joke.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Spielberg fricking over Crichton to larp as a golden age monster movie director will forever be a stain on Jurassic Park's legacy.
            I wonder what it would have been like if Joe Johnston got to direct it like he asked of Spielberg?

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >JP
    10/10
    >LW
    8/10
    >JPIII
    5/10

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I'm sorry, but I don't forgive you.

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    We have to go back.

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Here's what they need to do for this franchise.

    Make it a TV series.

    Prequel this shit. Lean into the corporate rivalry and corporate espionage aspects in the novels.

    Mad man Hammond playing the corporate game to get this moronic idea to make a theme park with Dinosaurs.

    Everything was still shakey for the events of the first film. Staff members being killed etc. He's not a good guy.

    It's the chaotic dream of a mad man with multiple islands of dinosaurs. A corporate Empire that collapses. The aftermath. Still all the competing greed and corporate greed.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      That's pretty good. Too bad they would ruin it.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I want something set in the aftermath of the first film on Nublar.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        There's massive potential in an Alien Isolation-type of game in that setting but instead we got 2 park management simulators and the first one didn't even have the '93 tour attractions at launch. Universal's marketing department is pathetic.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I'd go for some corporate espionage kino, unfortunately audiences only appreciate the dinosaur scenes.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Not for me. Half the reason the first JP was so good was they gave you a great story for the characters to sink into. I like my people to have names, feelings and motivations so it's scarier when they get devoured.

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I will always apologize

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The biggest mistake of TLW was making the villains more likable than the heroes.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Ludlow? Dieter? There are no other villains. Maybe antagonists who join forces with the protagonists.

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    1, 3, and 4
    Take it or leave it

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I'll take 1 and 3, you can keep 4 though.

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Frick off with this shitty meme. Also TLW was always a solid 7/10 dino adventure movie.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      TLW will forever remain the second greatest dinosaur movie of all time.

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    1 > 4 > 2 > 3 > 6 > 5

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Other than 4>2 instead of 2>4 it's my list although I wonder if it changes after I marathon the series now that I have extended cuts of TLW and Dominion for the maximum possible experience. The only thing that really annjoyed me about Dominion was lack of stakes. No one dies in this movie. This has to change. And I know they will continue and when they do I hope they keep it simple. Not connected to the main series. Just a bunch of new characters stranded for example in the Amazon among the dinos. Pure old school.

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    lost world had so much potential, the premise was fricking great but the movie not so much. Also honestly frick the city part, ruined it completely for me

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    JP1 > JP3 > JP4 >>> JP6 >>>>>> JP2 >>>>>>>>> Nostalgia Critic Jurassic Park reviews >>>>>>>>>>>> food poisoning >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> JP5

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >JP1 > first 5 minutes of JWFK > everything else

      Fixed

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >first 5 minutes of JWFK
        HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        By "fixed" you mean "frick it up" then yes, it’s fixed.

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    For me, it goes 1>4=2=3>>5>>6
    The only thing that the new JW movies have over the originals is BDH being ridiculously cute. She’s like my number 1 celebrity crush.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Gross. Tea Leoni was hotter.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Who?

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I don't have to apologize to either of them. I always knew TLW was decent and 3 is still fricking garbage.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Imagine actually thinking this.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >Imagine actually having good taste
        I know it's a dream for you but some people actually are capable of that.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >liking TLW
          >thinking he's "people"
          Pick one.

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    the only good JP is JP. everything else is market-analysis goyslop

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I always liked all 3 of them.

  17. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I watched the first one with my 12 year old daughter recently and she said, “I can tell this is old because the cgi is awful.” Made me almost cry a little.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      To be fair, as much of a groundbreaking achievement Jurassic Park's CGI is, it's still rather dated, and I say this as a huge JP fan.
      I find it perfect the way it is, though.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        [...]
        the cgi is only really bad for (unfortunately) the first shot of a dinosaur and the stampede. maybe one other time, but almost everything else still holds its own.

        The stampede doesn't look great, but I never had any problem with the first encounter with the long neck homie. Besides that, everything else looks fantastic

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      To be fair, as much of a groundbreaking achievement Jurassic Park's CGI is, it's still rather dated, and I say this as a huge JP fan.
      I find it perfect the way it is, though.

      the cgi is only really bad for (unfortunately) the first shot of a dinosaur and the stampede. maybe one other time, but almost everything else still holds its own.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I agree, the darker scenes still look decent.

  18. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Both are bad, but if you combined them right it would have been better than the first one.
    Need to reread the books. Crichton is pretty good for a pop author.

  19. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    none of the jurassic park movies were good

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      3's existence proves you wrong

  20. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Lost World had some fun stuff like the two rexes going after the trailers, the tent scene, and Peter Postelwaite as a safari hunter. You had some of the fun tension of the original, at least before the raptors got wrecked by gymnastics and the T-Rex's slapstick rampage around LA.

    III was basically a preview of the Jurassic World series. Newer better dinosaur acts like an obsessed serial killer instead of an animal. Characters do moronic shit for the sole purpose of driving the plot forward.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Spino is le serial killer meme
      The raptors from JP say hi.

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