>implicitly trusting the audience score
There a lot of people who own funko dolls. Plus the critics score isn’t even bad. This is a standard soiboy classic.
>paying regard to critic scores
Hi, welcome to Cinemaphile, it might be a bit more brash and irreverent than the popular social aggregation site you came from but I think you will eventually come to enjoy it.
Very good, I notice that you've learned to use >arrows to highlight green text
Unfortunately, you have failed to use this quoting mechanism (known as "greentext") in a manner according to our conventions. Don't worry, after a few days you'll catch on, enjoy your time with us and please let your friends back on the other popular social news aggregation site that we're not all that bad.
Hope you have a good time,
Love,
Anon.
Very good, I notice that you've learned to use >arrows to highlight green text
Unfortunately, you have failed to use this quoting mechanism (known as "greentext") in a manner according to our conventions. Don't worry, after a few days you'll catch on, enjoy your time with us and please let your friends back on the other popular social news aggregation site that we're not all that bad.
Hope you have a good time,
Love,
Anon.
I bet you thought these were really smart and funny.
Watched it last night.
Lifelong Kevin Smith fan.
It was not good at all. Very disappointing.
And they couldn't have underplayed/undersold Dante's death any harder. The main character of the whole trilogy dies and it's glossed over almost immediately with 0 emotional impact.
Very underwhelming.
I find it very hard to believe that a lifelong Kevin Smith fan wouldn't like this movie, and find it much more likely that you're someone with a hate boner for Smith's films and too much time on your hands.
I'm really sorry you want me to have a heart attack
was watching Chasing Amy on my Nordic Track
realized I forgot to call you back
here's that autograph from my daughter, I wrote it on a Mallrats cap
Kevin Smith fan here. I enjoyed it. It’s by no means a great movie, but it was a fun experience since the audience was stocked full of other Kevin Smith fans.
(Not actually a Kevin Smith fan, but a fan of 90s Kevin Smith. I hate modern Kevin Smith, but this film is a love letter to 90s Kevin.)
It's not even trash just desperately underwhelming. And so much of the acting is very hamfisted and over the top and nowhere near at all realistic/natural. People delivering real life dialogue in a believable natural manner is the callign card of View Askew movies and this movie had none of that.
And the whole Elias/his mute friend thing where they are in le wacky costumes in every scene was just pure cringe. Those 2 characters did not need to be in the movie at all. Really dragged it down.
I had 0 expectations of what this would be like going into it but I was massively underwhelmed/disappointed by it. I can't imagine someone who hasn't seen all the previous movies getting/understanding this movie as it is extremely self indulgent and self referential to the point of you'd be lost if you hadn't seen the previous ones.
it's fricking terrible. i went in with an open mind, no expectations, and ready to laugh. not even a chuckle for the entire run-time. and i used to be a huge kevin smith fan. the only time i actually let out an audible laugh was the short post-credits gag
i didn't like clerks 2 when i first saw it, but it became a slow-burn hit with me. i appreciate it for what it is. it was made over 10 years removed from the original movie. everyone had pre-set expectations before seeing it. there was no way kevin could have pleased ANYBODY, let alone everybody with C2. it's less of a direct sequel to clerks and moreso a view askewniverse crossover movie where the clerks guys are the main characters
Red State is the best film he's ever made full stop.
Because it was aggressively unlike anything he's ever made before. That gave me hope for him trying hard to get out of his box and try wildly new shit.
Then we got Tusk and that Yoga Hosers dog shit.
clerks 2 was pretty fricking good for what it was. for the porch monkeys bit alone
no he dies of a heart attack.
Also the original Clerks ending had him dying from being shot by a white guy.
wow that's extremely gay. extremely gay. I was prepared to nignore this movie and I think I'll continue to just pretend this piece of shit doesn't exist. Like the Jay and Silent Bob reboot
Clerks II is honestly my favorite of Kevin’s films, tied with dogma as a very close second. The porch monkeys scene is one of the funniest moments in cinema.
I just found the entire thing needlessly cruel to Dante, he's essentially Kevin's whipping boy chosen to suffer then finally die. >give the man hope and a will to live in the second movie by banging a baby into prime Rosario Dawson >soon as movie ends have her and the unborn baby killed in a car crash
Kevin Smith is terrified of death and his heart attack must have removed all the humor from his mind.
Now he takes his fears and frustrations on Dante
Kevin Smith is happily married with a healthy daughter but he is so afraid that he kills Dante's wife and daughter in order to confront his fears or something.
Then Dante's wife appears as a ghost and says she's fricking black men in heaven.
So Kevin Smith has some extreme fears of his wife cheating. Or something.
It is clear that Kevin Smith is punishing Dante extremely hard to avoid his own life going bad.
Sad thing is if he ever does a Clerks 4 the only way to go is down >inb4 Randall burns down the store and kills himself after even Jay and Silent Bob move on with life and Randall realizes he's alone
>I just found the entire thing needlessly cruel to Dante, he's essentially Kevin's whipping boy chosen to suffer then finally die.
Dante is literally a stand-in for Kevin. Randall is based on his friend Brian.
Watched it today, I give it a 4/10 at best, it was watchable but significantly worse than Clerks II which was already a lot worse than the original. If you could stomach the J&S Reboot you can probably stomach this.
Here’s an idea for Clerks IV:
keeping the meta key theme - we pick up with Randel taking stock at Quick Stop and we notice a payment due letter on the desk (the store losing money because Dante handled the finances & Elias 'crypto has tanked (IRS involved) and he's now broke), and the phone rings. It is a film critic who discovered & loved the film so much he wants to get it picked up for mass distribution. Randel quizzes him asking which Star Wars was the best to see if this person is legit. We fast forward & Randel has been plugged into stardom/wealth (signs a contract) & rubbing elbows with some Hollywood elites (only excuse for cameos here) all while The Taking Heads "Once in a Lifetime" is playing. 6 months later we find Randel floating in a pool and the phone rings again. It's the film studio asking for another hit. That is the new direction of the Clerks IV as we see Randel struggle and realise he's just a one hit wonder (here he discovers how hard it is to continue the gravy train and feels bad for all the directors and films he has pooped on in the past). He sees the BS with Hollywood and doesn't want any part of it (meets Mark Hamel / G Lucas who iare aholes and Elisa Woods/ P Jackson who are actually a cool dudes). filler filler and he becomes satisfied with what he has accomplished, and we end with him putting on his Quick Stop shirt returning to work knowing this is indeed what he wants to do. Final scene- the Chewlie's gum rep gets a pack of cigs & him if he's that director from that one film, and aren't you like rich and famous? Randel says "weren't you always promoting not smoking and sheet?" He replies "f it, we're all gonna die someday it's okay to live a little." Randel shrugs 😉
Here’s an idea for Clerks IV:
keeping the meta key theme - we pick up with Randel taking stock at Quick Stop and we notice a payment due letter on the desk (the store losing money because Dante handled the finances & Elias 'crypto has tanked (IRS involved) and he's now broke), and the phone rings. It is a film critic who discovered & loved the film so much he wants to get it picked up for mass distribution. Randel quizzes him asking which Star Wars was the best to see if this person is legit. We fast forward & Randel has been plugged into stardom/wealth (signs a contract) & rubbing elbows with some Hollywood elites (only excuse for cameos here) all while The Taking Heads "Once in a Lifetime" is playing. 6 months later we find Randel floating in a pool and the phone rings again. It's the film studio asking for another hit. That is the new direction of the Clerks IV as we see Randel struggle and realise he's just a one hit wonder (here he discovers how hard it is to continue the gravy train and feels bad for all the directors and films he has pooped on in the past). He sees the BS with Hollywood and doesn't want any part of it (meets Mark Hamel / G Lucas who iare aholes and Elisa Woods/ P Jackson who are actually a cool dudes). filler filler and he becomes satisfied with what he has accomplished, and we end with him putting on his Quick Stop shirt returning to work knowing this is indeed what he wants to do. Final scene- the Chewlie's gum rep gets a pack of cigs & him if he's that director from that one film, and aren't you like rich and famous? Randel says "weren't you always promoting not smoking and sheet?" He replies "f it, we're all gonna die someday it's okay to live a little." Randel shrugs 😉
>all that text
you're gonna have to post a lot more downie ass to get anyone to read that. That's gotta be ai tbh
>Yo Silent Bob, anybody ever told you your neck sags like a ballsack? >silent bob shrugs >SNOOCHIE BOOCHIES! *Jay flicks him on the chin* >Haha, I just flicked your sack!- >Aww frick I gotta take my blood pressure meds, here hold my blunt for me b***h
Everyone's mad in this thread. Kevin Smith never fails to make Cinemaphile seethe, he's the fat geek they have a lot in common with but he actually parlayed it into a measurable level of success.
The word "trilogy" is used a lot when the works don't fit the spirit of the word. Making two unplanned rehash sequels to the first self-contained work doesn't constitute a trilogy in my headcanon.
I enjoyed it. No I'm not Kevin Smith.
What will the gay argument about the star wars sequels be?
There actually wasn't one. They hardly brought it up. I think the only mention of nu wars was Randall saying he enjoyed the Mandalorian.
post a torrent link to watch the movie FOR FREE or don't post again homosexual
Suck my big fat wiener, you turd dolphin
>implicitly trusting the audience score
There a lot of people who own funko dolls. Plus the critics score isn’t even bad. This is a standard soiboy classic.
You can suck my big fat wiener too
>unironically enjoys Kevin Smith content
don’t you have a bull to prep?
Don't you have my big fat wiener to suck?
No
Go ahead and suck my big fat wiener then
You too
No
>Gen-Xers in their 40s/50s still acting like teens skipping school
I get those are their characters but there's still something grim about it.
>posting frogs on 4chins while criticizing others for being manchildren
it seem what you truly hate is the mirror
kys ESL homosexual
>dumb frogposter gets btfo
>coping, seething
Many such cases.
That Black person clearly speaks better english than you cuck.
It's good but it's more of a drama than a comedy
>65%
Wow that's pretty shit
We're talking about Kevin Smith here, 65% is sky high for him.
and yet it still manages to be overrated.
>3/5 is a bad score
Why is Cinemaphile pretending that leftist critics hated this movie? That’s an average score.
>Wow that's pretty shit
So is the movie
>paying regard to critic scores
Hi, welcome to Cinemaphile, it might be a bit more brash and irreverent than the popular social aggregation site you came from but I think you will eventually come to enjoy it.
plus we say the n-word here!
We're such rascals!!
>this post
Wow that was pretty shit
Very good, I notice that you've learned to use
>arrows to highlight green text
Unfortunately, you have failed to use this quoting mechanism (known as "greentext") in a manner according to our conventions. Don't worry, after a few days you'll catch on, enjoy your time with us and please let your friends back on the other popular social news aggregation site that we're not all that bad.
Hope you have a good time,
Love,
Anon.
At least you tried.
I bet you thought these were really smart and funny.
No. I have extreme hatred for Kevin Smith so I'm not gonna apologize to him or watch anything he's involved in.
Watched it last night.
Lifelong Kevin Smith fan.
It was not good at all. Very disappointing.
And they couldn't have underplayed/undersold Dante's death any harder. The main character of the whole trilogy dies and it's glossed over almost immediately with 0 emotional impact.
Very underwhelming.
I find it very hard to believe that a lifelong Kevin Smith fan wouldn't like this movie, and find it much more likely that you're someone with a hate boner for Smith's films and too much time on your hands.
He should also suck my big fat wiener for spoiling that
Cry more Kevin
Thanks for confirming.
Careful Kev, you're gonna give yourself another heart attack
I'm really sorry you want me to have a heart attack
was watching Chasing Amy on my Nordic Track
realized I forgot to call you back
here's that autograph from my daughter, I wrote it on a Mallrats cap
Kevin Smith fan here. I enjoyed it. It’s by no means a great movie, but it was a fun experience since the audience was stocked full of other Kevin Smith fans.
(Not actually a Kevin Smith fan, but a fan of 90s Kevin Smith. I hate modern Kevin Smith, but this film is a love letter to 90s Kevin.)
did he get killed by a jogger robber like the original ending of clerks?
no he dies of a heart attack.
Also the original Clerks ending had him dying from being shot by a white guy.
big time ooof.
Oh so it might actually not suck?
I watched it. It didn't suck. It was actually pretty enjoyable.
Sadly, it's trash.
so, you'd say it's a faithful sequel to Clerks 1 and 2?
It's not even trash just desperately underwhelming. And so much of the acting is very hamfisted and over the top and nowhere near at all realistic/natural. People delivering real life dialogue in a believable natural manner is the callign card of View Askew movies and this movie had none of that.
And the whole Elias/his mute friend thing where they are in le wacky costumes in every scene was just pure cringe. Those 2 characters did not need to be in the movie at all. Really dragged it down.
I had 0 expectations of what this would be like going into it but I was massively underwhelmed/disappointed by it. I can't imagine someone who hasn't seen all the previous movies getting/understanding this movie as it is extremely self indulgent and self referential to the point of you'd be lost if you hadn't seen the previous ones.
I can’t. Just looking at Kevin Smiths face make me cringe.
what the frick is he holding between his fingers? are those e cigs?
pre-rolled joints in plastic tubes.
I didn't enjoy it. I am Kevin Smith.
We are all Kevin Smith
FRICK I dont wanna bang our wife
No one does
I still haven't watch Jay and Silent Bob Reboot
Suck my big fat wiener then
Don't, it's horrible.
it's fricking terrible. i went in with an open mind, no expectations, and ready to laugh. not even a chuckle for the entire run-time. and i used to be a huge kevin smith fan. the only time i actually let out an audible laugh was the short post-credits gag
I thought Ben Afflek's speech about fatherhood was touching.
At that point in the movie, I just didn't care anymore.
The only thing you're missing out on is Kevin Smith simping for Hollywood.
Kevin Smith movies were reddit before reddit.
Absolute trash.
looks gay, clers 2 was awful. am i being prejudiced though?
i didn't like clerks 2 when i first saw it, but it became a slow-burn hit with me. i appreciate it for what it is. it was made over 10 years removed from the original movie. everyone had pre-set expectations before seeing it. there was no way kevin could have pleased ANYBODY, let alone everybody with C2. it's less of a direct sequel to clerks and moreso a view askewniverse crossover movie where the clerks guys are the main characters
maybe i'll check it out but i've been wary of kevin smith recently. i forgot he made a sequel to jay and silent bob lol
Yeah, Clerks 2 is very good, and honestly, the last good movie the fat frick made.
Red State is the best film he's ever made full stop.
Because it was aggressively unlike anything he's ever made before. That gave me hope for him trying hard to get out of his box and try wildly new shit.
Then we got Tusk and that Yoga Hosers dog shit.
clerks 2 was pretty fricking good for what it was. for the porch monkeys bit alone
wow that's extremely gay. extremely gay. I was prepared to nignore this movie and I think I'll continue to just pretend this piece of shit doesn't exist. Like the Jay and Silent Bob reboot
Clerks II is honestly my favorite of Kevin’s films, tied with dogma as a very close second. The porch monkeys scene is one of the funniest moments in cinema.
I just found the entire thing needlessly cruel to Dante, he's essentially Kevin's whipping boy chosen to suffer then finally die.
>give the man hope and a will to live in the second movie by banging a baby into prime Rosario Dawson
>soon as movie ends have her and the unborn baby killed in a car crash
Kevin Smith is terrified of death and his heart attack must have removed all the humor from his mind.
Now he takes his fears and frustrations on Dante
Kevin Smith is happily married with a healthy daughter but he is so afraid that he kills Dante's wife and daughter in order to confront his fears or something.
Then Dante's wife appears as a ghost and says she's fricking black men in heaven.
So Kevin Smith has some extreme fears of his wife cheating. Or something.
It is clear that Kevin Smith is punishing Dante extremely hard to avoid his own life going bad.
Sad thing is if he ever does a Clerks 4 the only way to go is down
>inb4 Randall burns down the store and kills himself after even Jay and Silent Bob move on with life and Randall realizes he's alone
>I just found the entire thing needlessly cruel to Dante, he's essentially Kevin's whipping boy chosen to suffer then finally die.
Dante is literally a stand-in for Kevin. Randall is based on his friend Brian.
tell 'em, Stevedave
>and then me and Stevedave are gonna play naked robber
did they talk about "nazis" in nerd fandom?
Trump jokes? Gamergate? Fandom menace?
trannies?
Watched it today, I give it a 4/10 at best, it was watchable but significantly worse than Clerks II which was already a lot worse than the original. If you could stomach the J&S Reboot you can probably stomach this.
What happened to Smith’s edgy humour? Porch monkey, israelite, Black person knife, 17 yr old going ass to mouth, snow balling etc?
Did he go woke?
Here’s an idea for Clerks IV:
keeping the meta key theme - we pick up with Randel taking stock at Quick Stop and we notice a payment due letter on the desk (the store losing money because Dante handled the finances & Elias 'crypto has tanked (IRS involved) and he's now broke), and the phone rings. It is a film critic who discovered & loved the film so much he wants to get it picked up for mass distribution. Randel quizzes him asking which Star Wars was the best to see if this person is legit. We fast forward & Randel has been plugged into stardom/wealth (signs a contract) & rubbing elbows with some Hollywood elites (only excuse for cameos here) all while The Taking Heads "Once in a Lifetime" is playing. 6 months later we find Randel floating in a pool and the phone rings again. It's the film studio asking for another hit. That is the new direction of the Clerks IV as we see Randel struggle and realise he's just a one hit wonder (here he discovers how hard it is to continue the gravy train and feels bad for all the directors and films he has pooped on in the past). He sees the BS with Hollywood and doesn't want any part of it (meets Mark Hamel / G Lucas who iare aholes and Elisa Woods/ P Jackson who are actually a cool dudes). filler filler and he becomes satisfied with what he has accomplished, and we end with him putting on his Quick Stop shirt returning to work knowing this is indeed what he wants to do. Final scene- the Chewlie's gum rep gets a pack of cigs & him if he's that director from that one film, and aren't you like rich and famous? Randel says "weren't you always promoting not smoking and sheet?" He replies "f it, we're all gonna die someday it's okay to live a little." Randel shrugs 😉
>all that text
you're gonna have to post a lot more downie ass to get anyone to read that. That's gotta be ai tbh
what a catastrophic failure
Does Kevin Smith still look like a cancer survivor and wear baggy clothing that looks terrible now he's thin?
For Gen X, it's all over.
How much did he have to shit out to get a score like that? Torrent sites aren't even uploading this trash...
>Yo Silent Bob, anybody ever told you your neck sags like a ballsack?
>silent bob shrugs
>SNOOCHIE BOOCHIES! *Jay flicks him on the chin*
>Haha, I just flicked your sack!-
>Aww frick I gotta take my blood pressure meds, here hold my blunt for me b***h
Jay's finner teeth are probably the most distracting thing in Clerks 3, he looks like Mr. Ed.
>Kevin getting mad ITT
maybe if you spent this much time on your scripts your movies wouldn't bomb
Everyone's mad in this thread. Kevin Smith never fails to make Cinemaphile seethe, he's the fat geek they have a lot in common with but he actually parlayed it into a measurable level of success.
We don't give a shit about rotten tomatoes here.
It's official: Kevin Smith fans are moronic.
The word "trilogy" is used a lot when the works don't fit the spirit of the word. Making two unplanned rehash sequels to the first self-contained work doesn't constitute a trilogy in my headcanon.
Fans are pleased
all downhill after he tweeted about his wifes taint
That stupid fricking face why can't he stop making that stupid fricking face
no thanks