It is if the person you are having sex with is disgusting, namely unhygienic. It is one of life's greatest pleasures when having sex with someone you love, or so i've been told.
No, idiot. Like most REAL channers, I'm a permavirgin and suicidal. I'll never have a problem with "performing" because there'll never be an opportunity to "perform", and I'll be dead long before I'm geriatric.
Realistically how did they not end up with over 70 fricking children???
I mean realistically Aragorn is going to be verile for another century and elf pussy never gets old...
That would be ideal if it were combined with a high sex drive, just imagine it, 100 years of unrestrained creampies without worries.
Sadly, it is likely that Tolkien's elves have both low sex drive and low fertility rates, so Aragorn and Arwen probably had sex like twice a year at most.
Did Tolkien even write that? At this point it feels like people is just inventing stuff he might have written in order to keep profiting from the brand.
And to think, Samwise went back to the Shire, married his dreamgirl, and spent every waking moment pumping 13 kids into her. All before getting to go across the water to live with the elves and see his bro Frodo again
>Mfw my eternally beautiful Elf wife's entrance starts spasming wildly the second I begin ravaging her and her angel-like moans fill the hall but I'm trying not to fill her womb so I don't end up with yet another heir to fight for the crown in 100 years
But I think probably it's less intense when they give up their immortality. Half elves literally get to make a conscious choice whether to be more human or more elf. Elrond chose elf but his brother chose human, for example.
So does that mean that an average human might die when fricking an elf due to the extremely intense orgasms when having sex with an elf? This is literally the "once you tried elf pussy, there is no turning back" example
It's her luscious lips, huge doe-like eyes, delicate nose, and soft features. Just looking at her I can't imagine how any straight man wouldn't want to take her home. She activates something in me.
>Aragorn got to frick this every day for the last 120 years of his life
Realistically how did they not end up with over 70 fricking children???
I mean realistically Aragorn is going to be verile for another century and elf pussy never gets old...
She's as flat as a board and even her fake breasts are ugly.
>every day
Lol. Lmao. For the first year of marriage, it's nonstop sex, it's amazing. Afterwards, they scale it back incrementally. Now I frick my wife maybe once a week, 7 years married.
My 65 year old dad makes sad jokes when he is drunk about how his wife, my mom has dried up years ago.
They are together, do stuff together, go on vacations, but from what i hear all around at some point woman just dont want sex anymore at at a certain age and men still do.
My man, you must not have many married friends yet. Sex is much more exciting when you’re dating or in an early relationship. If you think married couples who are 35+ are having sex all the time you are mistaken.
Aragorn thought Arwen could go back to being an Elf and go to the Undying Lands after he died until the moment of his death. She couldn't and after he died she left everyone and died alone in an abandoned Lothlorien but Aragorn was clueless.
He EARNED those hobbits
what?
Sex is disgusting.
Immortal elf pussy willing to literally give up eternity in Heaven for your hairy, unshaven Ranger shaft is not
It is if the person you are having sex with is disgusting, namely unhygienic. It is one of life's greatest pleasures when having sex with someone you love, or so i've been told.
Actually no, and children are a blessing
Sorry your life is a spiritual wasteland
and she didn't even age, hit the wall, or enter menopause. I would die from ecstasy.
Heh and hey, maybe after a few thousand years she actually grew up past the maturity level of a 14 year old.
buddy i cant get it up for my 3 year gf
120? lmao
nonce
>I transfigured myself into a boomer with erectile dysfunction, Mortimer! I am become Limp Noodle Rick!
it will happen to you
No, idiot. Like most REAL channers, I'm a permavirgin and suicidal. I'll never have a problem with "performing" because there'll never be an opportunity to "perform", and I'll be dead long before I'm geriatric.
anon that's a good thing, she's a toddler.
Superior.
Numenorean.
Genetics.
Númenóreans were massive losers in rings of power.
Realistically how did they not end up with over 70 fricking children???
I mean realistically Aragorn is going to be verile for another century and elf pussy never gets old...
She looks like she fricks human men
he dumped his loads on her breasts
They had one boy and a lot of girls if I remember correctly.
no that was sam, he had 6-7 daughters and 2 sons iirc
>no that was sam, he had 6-7 daughters and 2 sons iirc
Stop replying when you know nothing, Aragorn and Arwen had a lot of children.
probably commong among elves (probably why there dying out as a people)
Elf magic
Sick shit.
Elves have a lower fertility rate
That's pretty obvious
That would be ideal if it were combined with a high sex drive, just imagine it, 100 years of unrestrained creampies without worries.
Sadly, it is likely that Tolkien's elves have both low sex drive and low fertility rates, so Aragorn and Arwen probably had sex like twice a year at most.
nah se
Did Tolkien even write that? At this point it feels like people is just inventing stuff he might have written in order to keep profiting from the brand.
I think its from one of his letters his son published so take that as you will
elves are white people but whiter so they have even less children
And to think, Samwise went back to the Shire, married his dreamgirl, and spent every waking moment pumping 13 kids into her. All before getting to go across the water to live with the elves and see his bro Frodo again
Sam had a better end than Aragorn
>every day
Ask me how I know you're a kissless virgin
>The mother fricker actually thought about it
kek
based
>Anyway Elves have brain-shattering orgasms
>aaand send
What a guy
It takes a truly talented man to make cooming sound so soulful and artistic
Tolkien was and still is, even in death, a national treasure.
>Mfw my eternally beautiful Elf wife's entrance starts spasming wildly the second I begin ravaging her and her angel-like moans fill the hall but I'm trying not to fill her womb so I don't end up with yet another heir to fight for the crown in 100 years
From the sound of it most mortal men would literally die from the intensity of it. Only people like Aragorn with their chad genes could withstand it.
yeah, but at some point there had to be a human and elf who fricked to create the first half elfs that the númenóreans came from.
Beren and Luthien
But I think probably it's less intense when they give up their immortality. Half elves literally get to make a conscious choice whether to be more human or more elf. Elrond chose elf but his brother chose human, for example.
first of all elewen and aragorn are the same race
second of all its the elf that coomplodes
>even Tolkien understood that elves are lewd as frick
Amazon had but one job! One Job! I hate Hollywood so much!!
people dont understand how much i love tolkien. he's basically king autist
So does that mean that an average human might die when fricking an elf due to the extremely intense orgasms when having sex with an elf? This is literally the "once you tried elf pussy, there is no turning back" example
When a elf gives a blowjob, she litteraly sucks the soul out of you.
Beren and Luthien both died young for a reason.
frickin worth it though
>she was so pretty that mortal lands couldnt take it
normally having a self insert is cringe but somehow tolkien pulled it off for both him and edith
Are males premature ejaculators then?
Do females elves have menopause?
he probably got bored of her
I never thought this ugly b***h was attractive. She looks like she has a horse face with FAS.
It's her luscious lips, huge doe-like eyes, delicate nose, and soft features. Just looking at her I can't imagine how any straight man wouldn't want to take her home. She activates something in me.
I'm so jelly
She kinda walled but not too bad. She was a 9/10 in that Record movie. Now she's like a 5.5/10
imagine having intense sexual intercourse with prime Liv
the downside is you're steven
needs to gain about 50 lbs
She looks like Joosten
>Fridge Tyler
Made for BNC (Big Númenórean wiener)
Endless Summer 2 is absolute trash compared to the original
She's as flat as a board and even her fake breasts are ugly.
>t. pride month celebrator
I'm not a burger, so you are wrong.
>She's as flat as a board
>her fake breasts are ugly
What?
She got a boobjob because she had no breasts at all, but the boobjob was subpar. That clear enough?
>husband dies
>loses the will to live
>dies
that's not how it fricking works
Does anyone have the pic of that cute female Bilbo?
No. Go be a homosexual pedo somewhere else.
Too Old
>every day
Lol. Lmao. For the first year of marriage, it's nonstop sex, it's amazing. Afterwards, they scale it back incrementally. Now I frick my wife maybe once a week, 7 years married.
My 65 year old dad makes sad jokes when he is drunk about how his wife, my mom has dried up years ago.
They are together, do stuff together, go on vacations, but from what i hear all around at some point woman just dont want sex anymore at at a certain age and men still do.
damn just let him frick prostitutes at that age. Poor guy cant even get gross 65 year old post menopausal pussy.
My man, you must not have many married friends yet. Sex is much more exciting when you’re dating or in an early relationship. If you think married couples who are 35+ are having sex all the time you are mistaken.
She walled at 80
People used to make fun of Liv Tylers lips on account of her dad.
Aragorn thought Arwen could go back to being an Elf and go to the Undying Lands after he died until the moment of his death. She couldn't and after he died she left everyone and died alone in an abandoned Lothlorien but Aragorn was clueless.
To think that pretty face came from Steven Tyler's cum
Steve Tyler's used goods
for me, it's when she spoke elvish in a conan interview before lotr released
looks like Biel here