I once killed a mouse with my bare hands. I got it cornered in a drawer and wanted to put a sticky trap on it so it wouldn't escape but I missed and the mouse bolted out but I managed to grab some gargabe from the drawer and pin it to a wall. I didn't know what to do because I couldn't use the trap anymore and the mouse would run off if I let it go so I started pushing it until it stopped moving
psycho alert, someone get this guy on teh fbi wanted list. clearly a psycho bragging about killing something with your bare hands and the excitement you got from that. disgusting!
i had rats invade my house through a side duct, i found babies that were inside, tried to gate them out but they got back in. Eventually the babies all ended up on my back porch somehow and I crushed all of them with a shovel, one by one picking them off the porch, throwing them into the grass, and crushing them.
it felt bad to do, but what was my alternative? let them bake to death in the trash can?
Depends on the wolf. A Grey or a Canadian wolf, absolutely. They're bigger than the biggest dog breeds. Mexican, Iberian or Eurasian wolves though? Fuck no unless it's a pack.
wolves will have higher muscle density, more burst power.
a strong man can easily pick one up by the legs and swing it into the floor, or pull its legs apart and cripple it though. but you'd have to dodge the initial attack which would be for the throat or genitals
Ironically every single video I've seen of a human fighting a kangaroo has the human whipping the marsupial's ass.
Every time I went in thinking I was going to see a filthy aussie get bodied, every time proven wrong.
because they're really not interested in a random fist fight. like if someone walked up to you while you're in a dunkin donuts and just starts punching you in the face do you think you'd react any better. they're dumb and straight consistent punches aren't even something they can comprehend.
I just read a story of a 14 year old girl being hit by a horse and just walking away with a bunch of bruises so i highly doubt it it's over in one kick.
it's like a lottery tbh. a horse kick might be completely inoffensive or lead to instant death. Camels on the other hand are vicious and seem to only kick when they know they'll be able to kill
maybe you can get on their back and try fingering it death through eye sockets or something
maybe you could sit on its back at the forelegs and pull up on its upper jaw until it snaps off
then since it can't bite anymore, you can stick your arm down its throat and pull its organs out.
there was a story about an old man in india 10-15 years ago who was attacked by a jaguar so he stuck his arm down its throat and ripped out its tongue from the root, causing it to drown in its own blood.
he just had a few cuts on his arm from the teeth.
if you fight like a chimp, but with brains and no fear, i think you can do a lot.
mechanical advantage, and the element of surprise. surprise and fear.
hold it right at the tip and you'll have leverage, then just pull while keeping your feet on the base of its neck.
if enough anons go out and try this, we can see the percentage rates of success for the maneuver, and eventually it will become commonplace.
On land you have a chance, they are really stupid and kinda unassuming, so if you surprise it by grabbing it on it's back and push your thumbs in his eyes you have chance. In water you're so fucked.
I agree with everything except one, I actually think it's possible to kill the elephant. The plan is to keep running around it and punching it in the back of its legs, for hours. At some point it will collapse and then you kill it.
Most likely protecting his territory but he doesn't really need to be so aggressive towards another herbivore, especially when none exist that can compete with an adult African Elephant.
His attacks are unironically telegraphed. A few dodges and counters you could find an open to get on top of its head and stab it in the eye with your middle fingers.
Only if you're below 30% equipment weight for the light rolls with the added i-frames.
His attacks are unironically telegraphed. A few dodges and counters you could find an open to get on top of its head and stab it in the eye with your middle fingers.
Unless you’re an Olympic level endurance athlete (not even then) you’ll get tired of punching before that elephant gets tired of stomping. Also elephant skin is closer to fucking tree bark than skin.
>The plan is to keep running around it and punching it in the back of its legs, for hours.
I actually laughed out loud imagining this. Also at you for thinking this would even hurt the elephant.
Depends on what the victory conditions are. It just says beat in a fight bare handed. It doesnt say anything about killing the animal or surviving after the fight.
If dying after the fight still counts as a win for the human then I'd agree with the Eagle and King Cobra. I think the amount of people that could manage to kill a King Cobra bare handed without getting a bite is really small.
King Cobras are big and fast, I don't think a shirt would slow it down much. They are the world's largest venomous snake, they can grow over 6 feet long, and can use all the muscle in their bodies to lunge at you with a super fast bite. I would not fight a king cobra for any amount of money.
And for the eagle, it really depends on what kind of eagle. If it's a harpy eagle, it doesn't matter if you protect your head and neck, you're going to die of bloodloss.
They can grow over 15 feet long. They can raise their head about 6 feet off the ground. Ain't no way in hell I'm facing up against one without a 12 gauge.
There are stories of people killing bears with melee weapons. Native Americans used to do it a lot. I could also imagine a big enough guy taking a black bear in a fight if the bear doesnt try to run away
I don't think there is any instance where a man could take a gorilla of any sort.
I know a guy who was out bow hunting and a buck walked right under his tree stand and he decided that killing it with an arrow while it wasn’t looking wasn’t fair enough, so he pulled out his buck knife and jumped down on the deer’s back and tried to slice its throat. The deer beat his ass half to death and ran off without sustaining much of any injury and he had to limp back to camp with a bunch of broken bones and lacerations
I'd like to see the 8% that think they can kill an adult African Elephant bare handed. The Elephant could be tranquilized and I doubt they'll successfully scratch it.
I think people wildly overestimate or underestimate their own and animals strength. They mostly only see docile animals not ones trying to kill. And most animals except for the wild ones on that list almost never go into full kill mode.
If both parties were in full kill mode even a weak human could destroy the eagle and below simply from the size and muscle power difference.
The large dog and chimp would be doable by strong men.
I think people are underestimating a kangaroo since it never really goes into a killing frenzy but its size and muscle and that kicking power I wonder what it could do in a blood rage.
Everything else would destroy you barring some fluke once in a million move or some highly trained expert that can exploit a weakness like that guy sitting on the back of the croc.
Most animals killing humans I would bet don't come from animals being in full on murder mode. Sure there are rare stories of people beating bears but there's usually some special circumstances and the animal probably not taking it seriously.
I don't think there is a person living or dead that could survive a fight with a bear that is taking it seriously.
Your contemplation on the perceived strength of individuals vis-à-vis various creatures demonstrates a commendable grasp of the superficial observations that often elude the common populace.
Your sagacious evaluation of the wild kingdom, coupled with your astute analysis of the hypothetical scenarios involving humans and animals in "full kill mode," is undoubtedly a testament to your unparalleled expertise in the field of speculative combat. It's truly awe-inspiring to see someone of your intellectual caliber dissect the dynamics of strength, size, and muscle power with such unparalleled precision.
One cannot help but marvel at the audacity of those who dare to question the omnipotent force of humanity. Your assertion that even a feeble human could effortlessly annihilate an eagle or any creature "below" it on the perceived hierarchy is an assertion that surely must be etched into the annals of zoological lore.
Your contemplation on the kangaroo, a creature seemingly underestimated by the masses due to its lack of homicidal tendencies, adds an extra layer of erudition to your discourse. The sheer speculation about its potential "blood rage" and the havoc it could wreak with its impressive kicking power is, undoubtedly, the pinnacle of speculative brilliance.
It's refreshing to witness someone finally shed light on the evident underestimation of human strength against the likes of a large dog or even a chimpanzee. Your unwavering confidence in the capabilities of "strong men" to conquer such foes is a beacon of hope for those who may have doubted the indomitable spirit of Homo sapiens.
In conclusion, your assertion that there is no living or deceased individual capable of surviving a serious encounter with a bear is a declaration that should be etched on the walls of every academic institution. Your wisdom on the subject is, unparalleled, and it is with bated breath that I await further revelations from the fount of knowledge that is your mind.
Bro an Eagle would fuck you up if you fail to instantly grab him and snap his wings. They're absurdly fast and their talons are bigger than your hands.
I didn't say anything about not getting fucked up or even surviving the fight. But sure weight and muscle differences a human is going to win. The eagle has no instant kill move and has to get in melee range to do damage. Unless it tries to do some sort of swoop and slash and fly away instantly repeated it has no chance. The second it goes in to attack you can just embrace it with your arms and crush it to death. Sure you'll get clawed and probably have your eyes pecked out in the process but the eagle is not winning that fight.
They fly at 100 kmh and hit your head with their claws bigger than your hand, they are invredible fast and can maneuver at those speeds. A cage fight is somth else but on a open plane you have no chance
I never truly realized how scary a Bald Eagle was until I saw one in person at the zoo. They are straight up massive and their claws reminded me of the Raptor claw from Jurassic Park.
That aside birds are weak. It'd really noyl take one normal sized adult mans punch.
>I don't think there is a person living or dead that could survive a fight with a bear that is taking it seriously
Pretty much. Black bears usually are more passive and avoid confrontations with humans but if it's an adult he could still murder a human if he felt like it.
With Grizzly bears you just cover your neck and pray that he's not hungry and would get bored.
For a Polar bear you better have a rifle as nothing else will save you.
>If it's black, fight back >If it's brown, lie down >If it's white, good night
with a grizzly you're dead bsically. if it wants to kill you it will, if you just encounter it walking along and you slowly backaway while facing it then you should be fine just respect its space. if its with cubs you're double daad
Former NYC animal control agent here. This thread is full of mostly retards.
Firstly, you're thinking animals will square you up like a human. No, there is no hesitancy with animals. They just go all in kill mode and even the tiniest critters have a lot more strength than you think. Go play tug-of-war with a house cat and see what I mean. Also, humans have instincts, we were bred to find animals dangerous and avoid conflict with them. We are hesitate to fight, even to defend ourselves, more so than animals. Small bites or scratches can kill you through disease or infection.
>Rat
You won't die, but you really don't want to get bitten by a rat, and they can still take a finger off. They're smarter than you think, too, if you think you can just step on it. >House cat
If you put a house cat in a position where it is forced to defend yourself, or if it's some feral street cat, it can fuck you up, though you will win. Their claws are sharp and long enough to tear up the arteries in your arms. Just based on size different you will probably be OK. >Goose
It really can't do much except fly away or peck at you with its blunt beak. Much easier than a rat or especially cat. >Medium sized dog
You're probably going to lose. Once a dog bites you, it's probably not letting go without severely beating it, you won't be in fighting shape after. >Eagle
You'd have to get the jump on it. It can snap your arm in two or take your hand with its beak, and its talons will tear you up. >Large dog
Nope. It's why large dogs were bred to kill wolves or humans. >Chimpanzee
lmao. Look at the story when the pet chimp ate a woman's face off. It tore the door off a police car with one arm, and that was an obese coddled chimp. >King Cobra
No. They're as quick as lightning. >Kangeroo
Yes, the fact it's higher on the list than a chimp is telling. >wolf and everything else
No. You are dead.
>King Cobra >No. They're as quick as lightning
Your response to this anon:
This is a really bizarre list. Why is a cobra so low? A cobra, like all snakes, is as easy as picking it up by its tail and immediately crack it like a whip. Do it at the ground for a guarantee. As someone in the South with a lake adjacent property I have a snake kill count well into the 100s and I routinely do this to around 10 copperheads yearly.
He gets the jump on them, grabs them from behind while they're digesting or basking. The hypothetical situation should be both parties are aware of the other, a child can kill you while you sleep, doesn't mean anything.
hathnor thorsen can lift 1,102lbs/500kg.
that means any animal lighter than that is going into orbit.
he could just pull most animals in half, and kill a chimp by popping its head with one hand.
eat shit monkey lover
Mike Tyson was told he was a fucking retard when he wanted to box a zoo gorilla. It doesn't matter how much you deadlift. If chimps were that easy to kill, then we'd have videos of people beating them to death or people would be sparring with them at the circus. Chimps rape African women and the villagers can't even fend them off. The chimp is also far, far quicker. A female chimp was recorded casually lifting up 700lbs with one hand. The deadlifter would get his arms ripped off.
>King Cobra >No. They're as quick as lightning
Your response to this anon: [...] ?
You don't have to sneak up on it. Alternatively you just step on a front portion of its body to pin it. If it was raised you just bait the aggression and then go in. All snakes are fast but they're peabrained retards. My technique for killing snakes works on them all.
> new study on the power of chimpanzees has challenged a century of assumptions on the super-strength of our primate cousins, finding their muscular performance is actually about 1.5 times greater than ours.
nice bullshit.
chimp weighs max 130lbs
hathnor weighed 450lbs at peak strength
meaning chimp would have 1.5 x 130 = equivalent strength to a 195lb man, still less than half the strength of hathnor.
pathetic, not to mention the reach advantage given he's 2.05 metres tall and a chimp is 1.5 metres tall.
he has half a metre height advantage, 320lbs bodyweight advantage, and is 2.5x stronger than a chimp.
eat shit, chimp lover.
hathnor thorsen can lift 1,102lbs/500kg.
that means any animal lighter than that is going into orbit.
he could just pull most animals in half, and kill a chimp by popping its head with one hand.
eat shit monkey lover
The survey is for every person to answer for themselves, not for a peak human. Most Americans are obese and would get BTFO by a large dog.
fuck the survey, if animals want to send their best, we'll send ours.
to put that in perspective, hathnor can almost lift a gorilla or a lion with ONE hand.
he can even lift a grizzly bear by weight.
the only ones he can't lift are a nile crocodile and an elephant.
guarantee my lad would beat the shit out of your faggy animal fuckers.
for the elephant and the crocodile i'll hand him a lamppost to bludgeon the cunts to death with.
he's not a bodybuilder, he's the strongest man in the world.
an animal has to go near him to attack him, and when it does he'll pull its limbs off and then rip its skeleton in half with his bare hands.
he literally has 500lb pulling force per hand. now think about the mechanical advantage a human has in terms of arm mobility and opposable thumbs.
he carried a 710 kg (1,565 lb) log.
you're underestimating the significance of his strength. if someone was giving these figures about another animal you'd be pooing through a straw
you're exuding manlet cope energy
I am not saying he couldnt do it, I am saying he probably wont have the chance to do so cause animal movement is much faster than human. You cant simply grab a wolf with both hands, hell bite you when you go 4 it
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
what's the wolf going to bite? his arm?
with his other arm he can pull its head off
no doubt it will hurt him, give him some bites, but he'd pull it apart
Humans have mostly slow twitch muscle fibers, which are good for endurance, but chimps have far more quick twitch muscle fibers, which are better for explosive strength and speed. Chimps are quite literally twice as fast as humans, and are on average 1.5 stronger than humans overall, but it is the particulars where their real power shines. For instance, the average chimp has a grip strength of 441lbs, which is over 5 times greater than a normal human's.
I don't care how many pounds this dude can pull, or how heavy a log he carried, a chimp has enough grip force to crush his skull like an eggshell and has reflexes twice as fast as he does. He can literally rip this guy's face off in a second.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
hafthnor can pick it up with one arm, and pull it in half.
all he has to do is keep pulling.
he is 2.5x stronger than a chimp, as i've clearly stated.
he can crush its body and pulverise its faggy fucking organs.
he can dismember it.
he can swing it round like a normal man would swing a chihuahua. that's the scale of power we're talking about. not even an exaggeration.
you don't know about strength because you've always been weak.
chimps are little weak shits and deserve to die.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
>he is 2.5x stronger than a chimp, as i've clearly stated.
No, he isn't. A chimp easily outlifts and outpulls him, and has twice his reflexive speed, and five times his grip strength.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
nice how you ignored
> new study on the power of chimpanzees has challenged a century of assumptions on the super-strength of our primate cousins, finding their muscular performance is actually about 1.5 times greater than ours.
nice bullshit.
chimp weighs max 130lbs
hathnor weighed 450lbs at peak strength
meaning chimp would have 1.5 x 130 = equivalent strength to a 195lb man, still less than half the strength of hathnor.
pathetic, not to mention the reach advantage given he's 2.05 metres tall and a chimp is 1.5 metres tall.
he has half a metre height advantage, 320lbs bodyweight advantage, and is 2.5x stronger than a chimp.
eat shit, chimp lover.
already went through the figures before your fagginess started.
a chimp lifts 1.5x more than the average man. hafthnor lifts 2.5x more than a feeble shitball chimp.
it doesn't have 5x his grip strength, it has 5x the grip strength of an average man, and given that hafthnor can lift 475lbs with one hand, he has 10x the grip strength of the average man, meaning he still has 2x the grip strength of a puny chimp.
hafthnor wins by every measure.
a chimp is a 4 foot tall manlet weakling, and hafthnor is a 6 foot 9 giant that can lift a grizzly bear and two chimps at the same time.
these are simple facts.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
Because you're a retard that thinks strength is all that matters. Do you think he could beat prime Mike Tyson in a boxing match because he can deadlift more?
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
you could work out every waking moment of every single day and you'd never have the muscle density or strength a chimp has casually.
hafthnor already has 2.5x the strength of a chimp, it's done. humanity wins.
grip strength, beaten by another guy with 1.6x the strength.
height, tallest man was 9 foot tall, chimp is half that.
weight, heaviest man was 1,400lb at his peak, chimp weighs less than a tenth of that.
chimp loses in every category.
chimp runs at 25mph, fastest man 27mph
chimp punches 1.5x the average man, which would be 220psi. sounds impressive until you take the average boxer's punch which is 770psi.
that's not even the record.
average heavyweight boxer's punch is 1,200 and 1,700 psi.
7x harder punch than a shitty chimp can muster.
keep in mind that bone can be crushed at about 1,000lbs.
a chimp would be turned into jelly.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
Be honest, how many times a day do you fantasize about hafthnor sexually dominating your tight little boipussy?
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
be honest, how many times a day do you use that term, and how many hours of porn a day do you watch
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
I never watch porn, it's degenerate and lowers your testosterone levels.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
okay now without steroids
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
cope chimp
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
i accept your concession
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
you will never be a man.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
>which are good for endurance, but chimps have far more quick twitch muscle fibers, which are better for explosive strength and speed
So that's why blacks are more explosive cause they're closer to chimps?
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
Ha
they do have 19% ghost dna which has been theorised to come from a meld of three lower primates similar to chimps, yes.
[...]
fuck the survey, if animals want to send their best, we'll send ours.
to put that in perspective, hathnor can almost lift a gorilla or a lion with ONE hand.
he can even lift a grizzly bear by weight.
the only ones he can't lift are a nile crocodile and an elephant.
guarantee my lad would beat the shit out of your faggy animal fuckers.
for the elephant and the crocodile i'll hand him a lamppost to bludgeon the cunts to death with.
If they were sending their best, they'd send a Polar bear.
We have already determined it is a fight to the death, if the human is hesitant, then yes he will lose the fight to the death, but why would he? I assume you never been in an high adrenaline situation where it's literally life threatening? Because you'd be surprised what human being is capable of in those situations. And you say fighting shape, again, that is not relevant, it doesn't matter how fucked up you get when it's a life or death situation...
i could do a rat, cat, goose, medium dog, eagle.
probably a kangaroo, maybe a wolf if it is one on one.
chimp i'd have to train for a year.
large dog would be hard unless you can jump on its back and strangle it.
cobra i wouldn't like to approach since one bite and you're done for. >crocodile over 4 foot, gorilla, elephant, lion and bear can fuck off
would you fight a horse though, i don't think you'd win unless you are a power lifter or heavy weight boxer.
First six aren't even a question. End your life if you don't think you could take them.
Chimp is tough, but they're stupid creatures. They wouldn't know how to defend against a chokehold. If you panic, you're finished, but if you know what you're doing and keep your cool, it's doable.
Cobra is retarded. They can't even kill you for an hour. Just smash its head in and get some antivenom.
Kangaroos are a joke. Extremely stupid animals. If you couldn't take one, end yourself.
Wolf is just a dog. If you can't so it, end yourself.
Crocs can barely even move, but I'm not sure how you actually kill one. Can you choke it out? That's a tough one.
A gorilla is dumb, like a chimp, but their brute strength is too much. You'd have a shot if you kept your cool and had a plan, but few people could handle one.
Elephant, lion and bear are almost impossible.
I don't think you're appreciating how fast an Eagle can be. His talons will rip your eyes out before your brain will understand that he's diving at you.
You can obviously see it coming, then you just grab it. Yeah the beaks and talons are sharp, and you will sustain heavy damage, but adrenaline will block out the pain and give you retard strength so you won't let go and just break his wings or something. It's a fight to the death, not a fight for dominance where you back out eventually. If you stop fighting, you're dead, so in that sense an average human being can do some heavy damage to smaller animals.
Sure bro, lets see your galaxy brain plan vs an enraged 500lb silverback gorilla. You should charge money for us to watch I can't wait to see you outwit it.
Depending on what they mean large dog, there are plenty of breeds that would eviscerate you, where unless you're buff athlete, with fighting experience, you stand no fucking chance.
It's a dog. Their bodies can't even sideways. Don't panic or try to run, take advantage of its low intelligence and grab its neck/head to prevent its bite. Yes, you'll need to be stronger than average, but average nowadays is for men, what average was for women 50 years ago.
>Chimp is tough, but they're stupid creatures. They wouldn't know how to defend against a chokehold. If you panic, you're finished, but if you know what you're doing and keep your cool, it's doable.
A chimp would rip your eyes out before you could say "banana." See this video of a monkey MUCH smaller than a chimp casually scalp some poor poo. Absolutely brutal animals.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/zpxeS8B-INg
A chimp wouldn't be easy, but you could take it if you're strong, experienced with grappling and MMA, and can get the jump on it. I doubt an average chimp has ever taken a solid fist to the jaw. Use your human ingenuity to take it off guard and go for a choke. >vid
kek
>Chimp is tough, but they're stupid creatures. They wouldn't know how to defend against a chokehold. If you panic, you're finished, but if you know what you're doing and keep your cool, it's doable.
A chimp would rip your eyes out before you could say "banana." See this video of a monkey MUCH smaller than a chimp casually scalp some poor poo. Absolutely brutal animals.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/zpxeS8B-INg
>chimpanzee has a higher percentage than a gorilla
Some people are dumb as fuck. A gorilla is tough, but a chimp will fucking torture you do death. Do not fuck with chimpanzees.
I'm guessing this is at a zoo or something, because this looks to be an Asiatic Black Bear, which are pretty fucking aggressive, so in the wild the camera man would be next on the menu.
Thinking about or wanting to fight any of these beast makes you a psychopath to begin with so anything bigger than an eagle is out of the question dumbass.
This is a really bizarre list. Why is a cobra so low? A cobra, like all snakes, is as easy as picking it up by its tail and immediately crack it like a whip. Do it at the ground for a guarantee. As someone in the South with a lake adjacent property I have a snake kill count well into the 100s and I routinely do this to around 10 copperheads yearly.
Anon, a king cobra is a lot bigger than a rattlesnake. They grow to be 15 feet long. The fuck are you gonna do against this animal? They can rear 6 feet off the ground and lunge almost 10 feet to strike.
One bite will kill in about 30 minutes, and that is usually all it takes to make whatever is threatening the cobra run very fast in the opposite direction (until it dies). If you keep coming at the cobra, it will bite you again, and again. They have been known to bite several times when threatened. In that case, you are probably dead in a few minutes.
Thats completely false. The average fatality time is 2 to 6 hours. Anything under one hour is extremely rare.
A fit, large, healthy man could easily last over six hours, depending on where he's bit and how many times. You have no idea what you're talking about.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
Why should the cobra only bite you once ??
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
Even if it does, 30 minutes is ridiculous, unless you're talking about an impoverished, elderly, thai woman.
A fit, healthy, young man can survive several hours after one bite. Maybe just a couple hours after two or more. But you should really only get one bite as you rush in to grab the snake. Once you have its neck, there's nothing it can do. It wouldn't be that hard.
One bite will kill in about 30 minutes, and that is usually all it takes to make whatever is threatening the cobra run very fast in the opposite direction (until it dies). If you keep coming at the cobra, it will bite you again, and again. They have been known to bite several times when threatened. In that case, you are probably dead in a few minutes.
Might've had its venom glands removed, or it could just really trust him. Despite their reputation, king cobras are actually extremely chill, not aggressive at all. They only bite people when they are cornered / threatened, or defending their eggs, and otherwise avoid people and large animals. They actually mainly eat other snakes.
Imagine if that copperhead was 15' long and could rear up and stare you in the face (assuming you're not a manlet, in which case it would be staring down at you)
It's more surprising that so many people think they can take a chimp. Those motherfuckers are tiny balls of muscle; even if you think you can match its strength (lol), they're so compact and dense with muscle you're never gonna get any leverage on them.
Thinking you can manage 800lbs of bear (if you fight the smaller species) is absolutely beyond retarded though.
People really think (on average) that a grizzly bear is more dangerous than an elephant? I can understand some people fantasizing that they could gouge a bear's eyes somehow, but what the fuck are you supposed to do to an elephant? You couldn't even reach the eyes.
I mean, a bear has sharp teeth and claws and can walk upright. An elephant is a fingerless quadruped, so even though it's far heavier it seems "safer". Sure, it's harder to kill, but it's to play defense. I could at least try to maneuver around it without fear of getting mauled as long as I don't let it stomp me.
And yes, I realize this doesn't explain the votes in the OP because the question is to beat them in a fight.
Every single part of the elephant's body is massive enough to kill you instantly. Once you are on the ground it is over in a second, and I think you are way overestimating how easy it is to dodge something that big. Think of the size of the area it could cover with a sweep of its tusks. Elephants are absolutely not lacking in offense.
I love the outdoors and camping and I am thankful everyday that I was born on the continent of Australia. It's really the only continent on the planet that does not have large blood thirst animals that can easily overpower a man (with the exception of crocodiles that really only exist up north and don't venture too far from water).
I honestly can't imagine camping in comfort in the Americas or Asia or Europe or Africa where there are bears and big cats and monkeys just roaming around the wilderness. Shit sounds terrifying.
It didn't "trigger" me, I'm just an expert on retards so I could tell that anon was retarded. The main thing that tipped me off was that his post didn't make any sense. I can tell you are retarded because you assumed I was calling him a retard for political reasons, even though his post was clearly retarded.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
>I'm just an expert on retards
I guess it takes one to know one....
Again, there's nothing all that retarded about what he said, the female of the human species, typically never fought.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
Unless perhaps they were fighting for their life because they were being attacked by a wild animal? Anyway, why would you just assume that they would only survey men? Are you also assuming that they only surveyed young men, too? If you ever want to try being less retarded, one thing you can do is stop making baseless assumptions.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
>why would you just assume that they would only survey men?
Why would they survey women? What's the point?
Why not survey babies and people in nursing homes while they are at it.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
Why would they survey anybody? What *is* the point?
I think I could probably kill a black bear. I'd just climb on its back and punch its skull in. Anythign around the same weight or largely that I can't ride would prob get me.
Chimp strength is a lot of estimation, but the common consensus is that an average chimp is pound-for-pound, twice as strong as an average man. However, since an average chimp weighs a little over half an average man, that equates to a pretty average strength level.
>Their grip strength is estimated to be 441 lbs (200 kg).
average man is 50kg grip strength a trained man is far higher. keep in mind that training is just representing a recreation of a life in the wild - chimps spend all days using their body/hands.
https://www.sciencealert.com/researchers-have-found-the-secret-to-the-chimpanzee-s-strength
David Horne has the world's strongest grip strength at 720lbs, 1.6x higher than a chimp.
[...]
hafthnor already has 2.5x the strength of a chimp, it's done. humanity wins.
grip strength, beaten by another guy with 1.6x the strength.
height, tallest man was 9 foot tall, chimp is half that.
weight, heaviest man was 1,400lb at his peak, chimp weighs less than a tenth of that.
chimp loses in every category.
chimp runs at 25mph, fastest man 27mph
chimp punches 1.5x the average man, which would be 220psi. sounds impressive until you take the average boxer's punch which is 770psi.
that's not even the record.
average heavyweight boxer's punch is 1,200 and 1,700 psi.
7x harder punch than a shitty chimp can muster.
keep in mind that bone can be crushed at about 1,000lbs.
a chimp would be turned into jelly.
I think the word "could" is doing some heavy lifting for some people. Could I take a large dog? Sure, maybe like 2% of the time. It's not likely, but I can imagine how I *could* pull it off if things really went my way.
I don't really see how anybody kills an elephant, but you have to remember that there are also a lot of really dumb people out there. About 2% of the population are considered intellectually disabled.
Jam a rock down its throat
Pretty sure that breaks the unarmed clause. Cobra has no chance if rocks are allowed.
This shows how retarded the average american is.
There is no way in hell you are winning against a medium sized dog, there is no way in hell you are losing to an elephant
Swim to the middle of a lake, it won't be able to reach you. It is winter right now so the elephant will die quickly since it is cold blooded meant for the african savannah climate
there should be a man versus animal deathmatch arena with daily competitions.
fighters can choose which animal they fight and that way we can have specialisations.
chances are the anon from the top of the thread will train until he perfects his elephant circling technique and when he wins after a 3 day long endurance fight, and that fucking elephant drops dead, humanity will cheer like they haven't done in eons.
Yes.
Before all this runaway homosexualry 80% of American would tell you they’d kick a grizzly’s ass in a fight and if a grizzly ever walked into a room full of them they’d be 100% right
Crazy thing is people are so scared of bears that even of you had 50 people there with no tools (including rocks or anything, just your bear hands kek) the bear would still win.
Alright Cinemaphile since you are so smart figure this one out. Which would win in a fight, a googolplex number of lions or the sun? Also the lions have a year to prepare and are lead by a super intelligent incarnation of adult Simba.
>rat number one
antisemitic
söyboys think they could take a rat but they would get they monkey ass beat
>they *monkeypox ass beat
Fixed your typo
I once killed a mouse with my bare hands. I got it cornered in a drawer and wanted to put a sticky trap on it so it wouldn't escape but I missed and the mouse bolted out but I managed to grab some gargabe from the drawer and pin it to a wall. I didn't know what to do because I couldn't use the trap anymore and the mouse would run off if I let it go so I started pushing it until it stopped moving
i remember when a /b/tard live streamed himself cumming on a rat stuck on a glueboard trap.
Cinemaphile sucks now.
That happened.
was the rat dead or alive?
psycho alert, someone get this guy on teh fbi wanted list. clearly a psycho bragging about killing something with your bare hands and the excitement you got from that. disgusting!
I once corner one and caught it in a paper coffee cup and then drank it
i once stepped on a mouse while barefoot
I once stepped into your dads prolapsed asshole while barefoot, homosexual.
I once found a mouse stuck in the deep sink in the kitchen, it couldn’t jump out, and I just turned on the hot water to boil it dead
i had rats invade my house through a side duct, i found babies that were inside, tried to gate them out but they got back in. Eventually the babies all ended up on my back porch somehow and I crushed all of them with a shovel, one by one picking them off the porch, throwing them into the grass, and crushing them.
it felt bad to do, but what was my alternative? let them bake to death in the trash can?
I'd rather fight a wolf than a chimp or a cobra. I don't think it'd be that different from the large dog.
A wolf will fuck you up, mate.
So would a chimp, at least with a wolf would I could try to not let it bite me.
just keep asking it "who's a good boy?"
Depends on the wolf. A Grey or a Canadian wolf, absolutely. They're bigger than the biggest dog breeds. Mexican, Iberian or Eurasian wolves though? Fuck no unless it's a pack.
1v1 a grown man would fucking body a wolf. Might not leave unscathed, but wolves are like 150 lbs tops.
wolves will have higher muscle density, more burst power.
a strong man can easily pick one up by the legs and swing it into the floor, or pull its legs apart and cripple it though. but you'd have to dodge the initial attack which would be for the throat or genitals
Why would a wild wolf know to go for the genitals on a human?
pheremones
a 150 lb wolf is like three marines in terms of leverage.
Huskies are not even close to being "large", so I'm not sure what your point is.
I unironically could fight and kill all of those animals in a fight.
I could beat a kangaroo
when and where, bro?
Well I meant a little one
Ironically every single video I've seen of a human fighting a kangaroo has the human whipping the marsupial's ass.
Every time I went in thinking I was going to see a filthy aussie get bodied, every time proven wrong.
Yeah their arms are too short. If you’re a 6ft male in decent shape you’d probably be fine
The only times a kangaroo has beat an Aussies ass it was a red kangaroo and the Aussie was so drunk he could barely walk.
because they're really not interested in a random fist fight. like if someone walked up to you while you're in a dunkin donuts and just starts punching you in the face do you think you'd react any better. they're dumb and straight consistent punches aren't even something they can comprehend.
They kick almost as hard as a horse (which if it hits you is an instant game over).
Uncle Ben’s kangaroo DaBaby kicks him in the torso all the time and it doesn’t even make him stop talking
sweep the leg, johnny
I just read a story of a 14 year old girl being hit by a horse and just walking away with a bunch of bruises so i highly doubt it it's over in one kick.
a walking horse trampling by slow gallop is not the same as a mule kick with full force anon
it's like a lottery tbh. a horse kick might be completely inoffensive or lead to instant death. Camels on the other hand are vicious and seem to only kick when they know they'll be able to kill
Unlike a horse, kangaroos have sharp claws. If you're unlucky the kick could cut you open pretty bad.
Kangaroos are overrated, no way are they more dangerous than a chimp.
Croc on dry land is doable. Not in water, but I could take one on dry land
How do you even kill a Crocodile bare handed? A small Alligator maybe but not an adult salt water Crocodile.
maybe you can get on their back and try fingering it death through eye sockets or something
maybe you could sit on its back at the forelegs and pull up on its upper jaw until it snaps off
then since it can't bite anymore, you can stick your arm down its throat and pull its organs out.
there was a story about an old man in india 10-15 years ago who was attacked by a jaguar so he stuck his arm down its throat and ripped out its tongue from the root, causing it to drown in its own blood.
he just had a few cuts on his arm from the teeth.
if you fight like a chimp, but with brains and no fear, i think you can do a lot.
>Grab his upper jaw and pull up
What's stopping him from biting down? Their bite force is absurd.
mechanical advantage, and the element of surprise. surprise and fear.
hold it right at the tip and you'll have leverage, then just pull while keeping your feet on the base of its neck.
if enough anons go out and try this, we can see the percentage rates of success for the maneuver, and eventually it will become commonplace.
On land you have a chance, they are really stupid and kinda unassuming, so if you surprise it by grabbing it on it's back and push your thumbs in his eyes you have chance. In water you're so fucked.
Kangaroos will absolutely fuck you up and have killed people.
That being said a chimp is definitely more dangerous
t. Australian
ez tier:
>rat
>cat
>bat
>shat
>net
>fat
>tat
>hat
>spat
It's more worrisome to me that 28% of people think they couldn't take on a single rat in a fight to the death.
women going "no i couldn't kill an animal"
On land I could take an elephant. I’m naturally strong and have been doing martial arts for years now
I bet you're like the many BJJ practitioners that would be screaming about "illegal maneuvers" as the elephant is just stomping on you like dog shit.
Id climb it and yank it by the ears. Dont get near the feet
should have watched the revenant (2015)
if leo can't beat the cgi bear, neither can you
Okay, but who of you could beat this?
God that gets me hard
I ain't touching that
I concede
Just stomp on it, its only a foot long
why many bodypart when few do trick
I beat that daily
>15% think they'll kill a King Cobra bare handed
Are they aware that the venom of a King Cobra can kill an adult Elephant when they bite their trunks?
>Eagle
Would fuck you up, but if you manage to grab it you can kill it. It's a double knockout most likely.
>Crocodile
Americans see tiny Alligators in Florida and think they can kill a Nile Crocodile bare handed.
>Gorilla
>Elephant
>Grizzly Bear
lmao
I agree with everything except one, I actually think it's possible to kill the elephant. The plan is to keep running around it and punching it in the back of its legs, for hours. At some point it will collapse and then you kill it.
I don't think the Elephant would agree to this arrangement where he's letting you punch his legs without a retaliation.
That elephant is an asshole.
Most likely protecting his territory but he doesn't really need to be so aggressive towards another herbivore, especially when none exist that can compete with an adult African Elephant.
Only if you're below 30% equipment weight for the light rolls with the added i-frames.
I have Havel’s ring +15 and dark bead. It would unironically be over in seconds.
Pussy build just backstep and i-frame the attacks then swing
Your counterplay to this tactic by the Elephant?
Dark bead
>hurfff durff I'm a rhino look at me
what a jerk
yeah dick move. totally uncalled for
Haha based retard. Why are baby dumbos so clumsy?
things tripping and eating shit will always be funny
His attacks are unironically telegraphed. A few dodges and counters you could find an open to get on top of its head and stab it in the eye with your middle fingers.
That's because he's not even trying, he's not trying to kill the rhino, he's just slightly annoyed it's near his space bubble.
poor baby rhino 🙁
Your wrist would give out before the elephant's leg.
Unless you’re an Olympic level endurance athlete (not even then) you’ll get tired of punching before that elephant gets tired of stomping. Also elephant skin is closer to fucking tree bark than skin.
>The plan is to keep running around it and punching it in the back of its legs, for hours.
I actually laughed out loud imagining this. Also at you for thinking this would even hurt the elephant.
Depends on what the victory conditions are. It just says beat in a fight bare handed. It doesnt say anything about killing the animal or surviving after the fight.
If dying after the fight still counts as a win for the human then I'd agree with the Eagle and King Cobra. I think the amount of people that could manage to kill a King Cobra bare handed without getting a bite is really small.
cobra you could throw your shirt over it and then jump on it or something
eagle probably couldnt kill you if you protected your head and neck
>could throw your shirt over i
unarmed
King Cobras are big and fast, I don't think a shirt would slow it down much. They are the world's largest venomous snake, they can grow over 6 feet long, and can use all the muscle in their bodies to lunge at you with a super fast bite. I would not fight a king cobra for any amount of money.
And for the eagle, it really depends on what kind of eagle. If it's a harpy eagle, it doesn't matter if you protect your head and neck, you're going to die of bloodloss.
They can grow over 15 feet long. They can raise their head about 6 feet off the ground. Ain't no way in hell I'm facing up against one without a 12 gauge.
Can't they also spit their venom into your eyes or is that a different snake?
That was Jurassic Park you watched anon not a documentary.
Right it was a different snake, still a Cobra but not the King Cobra in question.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spitting_cobra
spitting cobra
simply grab the cobra and sling it at the eagle
There are stories of people killing bears with melee weapons. Native Americans used to do it a lot. I could also imagine a big enough guy taking a black bear in a fight if the bear doesnt try to run away
I don't think there is any instance where a man could take a gorilla of any sort.
gg ez
Unarmed friend
Who are the 28% that can't kill a rat?
My guess would be women.
fake, it's not a child it attacked
I know a guy who was out bow hunting and a buck walked right under his tree stand and he decided that killing it with an arrow while it wasn’t looking wasn’t fair enough, so he pulled out his buck knife and jumped down on the deer’s back and tried to slice its throat. The deer beat his ass half to death and ran off without sustaining much of any injury and he had to limp back to camp with a bunch of broken bones and lacerations
What a fuckin chad.
The buck really showed that anons friend what for.
>when you take buck breaking too literally
never give your enemy a chance, because they're going to take it. and you always regret it afterwards.
Tbh what's more surprising to me is how 28% think they can't beat a fucking rat.
They don't want to run the risk of being called antisemitic.
>8% think they can kill a Lion bare handed
Are they assuming the Lion is paralyzed and drugged?
kino
I would pay money to see the people who said they could kill a lion bare handed try to prove it.
I'd like to see the 8% that think they can kill an adult African Elephant bare handed. The Elephant could be tranquilized and I doubt they'll successfully scratch it.
>Could kill
Rat.
Cat.
Goose.
Dog.
>Could kill but would fuck me up and I'd probably die from injuries
Eagle.
Large Dog.
King Cobra.
Kangaroo.
>Would fuck me up completely
Everything else.
I think people wildly overestimate or underestimate their own and animals strength. They mostly only see docile animals not ones trying to kill. And most animals except for the wild ones on that list almost never go into full kill mode.
If both parties were in full kill mode even a weak human could destroy the eagle and below simply from the size and muscle power difference.
The large dog and chimp would be doable by strong men.
I think people are underestimating a kangaroo since it never really goes into a killing frenzy but its size and muscle and that kicking power I wonder what it could do in a blood rage.
Everything else would destroy you barring some fluke once in a million move or some highly trained expert that can exploit a weakness like that guy sitting on the back of the croc.
Most animals killing humans I would bet don't come from animals being in full on murder mode. Sure there are rare stories of people beating bears but there's usually some special circumstances and the animal probably not taking it seriously.
I don't think there is a person living or dead that could survive a fight with a bear that is taking it seriously.
Your contemplation on the perceived strength of individuals vis-à-vis various creatures demonstrates a commendable grasp of the superficial observations that often elude the common populace.
Your sagacious evaluation of the wild kingdom, coupled with your astute analysis of the hypothetical scenarios involving humans and animals in "full kill mode," is undoubtedly a testament to your unparalleled expertise in the field of speculative combat. It's truly awe-inspiring to see someone of your intellectual caliber dissect the dynamics of strength, size, and muscle power with such unparalleled precision.
One cannot help but marvel at the audacity of those who dare to question the omnipotent force of humanity. Your assertion that even a feeble human could effortlessly annihilate an eagle or any creature "below" it on the perceived hierarchy is an assertion that surely must be etched into the annals of zoological lore.
Your contemplation on the kangaroo, a creature seemingly underestimated by the masses due to its lack of homicidal tendencies, adds an extra layer of erudition to your discourse. The sheer speculation about its potential "blood rage" and the havoc it could wreak with its impressive kicking power is, undoubtedly, the pinnacle of speculative brilliance.
It's refreshing to witness someone finally shed light on the evident underestimation of human strength against the likes of a large dog or even a chimpanzee. Your unwavering confidence in the capabilities of "strong men" to conquer such foes is a beacon of hope for those who may have doubted the indomitable spirit of Homo sapiens.
In conclusion, your assertion that there is no living or deceased individual capable of surviving a serious encounter with a bear is a declaration that should be etched on the walls of every academic institution. Your wisdom on the subject is, unparalleled, and it is with bated breath that I await further revelations from the fount of knowledge that is your mind.
/s
> /s
bit redundant isn't it redditkun?
Bro an Eagle would fuck you up if you fail to instantly grab him and snap his wings. They're absurdly fast and their talons are bigger than your hands.
I didn't say anything about not getting fucked up or even surviving the fight. But sure weight and muscle differences a human is going to win. The eagle has no instant kill move and has to get in melee range to do damage. Unless it tries to do some sort of swoop and slash and fly away instantly repeated it has no chance. The second it goes in to attack you can just embrace it with your arms and crush it to death. Sure you'll get clawed and probably have your eyes pecked out in the process but the eagle is not winning that fight.
They fly at 100 kmh and hit your head with their claws bigger than your hand, they are invredible fast and can maneuver at those speeds. A cage fight is somth else but on a open plane you have no chance
i'd just punch it to the ground then stomp on it
Before of after you get hit in the head by 4 10cm knifes going 100 kmh ??
>snap his wings
Depending on the size of the eagle its wings would be pure iron muscle, so good luck with that.
it's bones are pure hollow dogshit, and most strength comes from bones, not muscles.
i'd be fucking it up its cloaca before it could flap
I never truly realized how scary a Bald Eagle was until I saw one in person at the zoo. They are straight up massive and their claws reminded me of the Raptor claw from Jurassic Park.
That aside birds are weak. It'd really noyl take one normal sized adult mans punch.
>Chimp would be doable by strong men
LOL. A full grown chimp is as strong as 5 men put together
You're thinking of a gorilla and you're still retarded. A fucking chimp could not beat 5 strong men.
you wanna bet hwhyte boi?
>I don't think there is a person living or dead that could survive a fight with a bear that is taking it seriously
Pretty much. Black bears usually are more passive and avoid confrontations with humans but if it's an adult he could still murder a human if he felt like it.
With Grizzly bears you just cover your neck and pray that he's not hungry and would get bored.
For a Polar bear you better have a rifle as nothing else will save you.
>If it's black, fight back
>If it's brown, lie down
>If it's white, good night
with a grizzly you're dead bsically. if it wants to kill you it will, if you just encounter it walking along and you slowly backaway while facing it then you should be fine just respect its space. if its with cubs you're double daad
For me, it's Pandas.
Silly billy
I could take him
You wouldn't hurt it, right bro?
It's like that John Wick webm of him escaping down the stairs
>f him escaping down the stairs
He was pushed down the stairs, not escaping. And when he got back to the top, he got pushed back down them again.
Wrong, it was a tactical escape
Haha that was a good thread, can't believe they turned that series into such a joke.
>If it's black, fight back
>If it's brown, lie down
>If it's white, good night
So true.
man begets pets, domestication begets strife, strife begets atrophy, atrophy begets entropy
ipso facto
Former NYC animal control agent here. This thread is full of mostly retards.
Firstly, you're thinking animals will square you up like a human. No, there is no hesitancy with animals. They just go all in kill mode and even the tiniest critters have a lot more strength than you think. Go play tug-of-war with a house cat and see what I mean. Also, humans have instincts, we were bred to find animals dangerous and avoid conflict with them. We are hesitate to fight, even to defend ourselves, more so than animals. Small bites or scratches can kill you through disease or infection.
>Rat
You won't die, but you really don't want to get bitten by a rat, and they can still take a finger off. They're smarter than you think, too, if you think you can just step on it.
>House cat
If you put a house cat in a position where it is forced to defend yourself, or if it's some feral street cat, it can fuck you up, though you will win. Their claws are sharp and long enough to tear up the arteries in your arms. Just based on size different you will probably be OK.
>Goose
It really can't do much except fly away or peck at you with its blunt beak. Much easier than a rat or especially cat.
>Medium sized dog
You're probably going to lose. Once a dog bites you, it's probably not letting go without severely beating it, you won't be in fighting shape after.
>Eagle
You'd have to get the jump on it. It can snap your arm in two or take your hand with its beak, and its talons will tear you up.
>Large dog
Nope. It's why large dogs were bred to kill wolves or humans.
>Chimpanzee
lmao. Look at the story when the pet chimp ate a woman's face off. It tore the door off a police car with one arm, and that was an obese coddled chimp.
>King Cobra
No. They're as quick as lightning.
>Kangeroo
Yes, the fact it's higher on the list than a chimp is telling.
>wolf and everything else
No. You are dead.
Biggest retard in the thread.
Why do you project your own weakness onto others? We get these threads a lot, but your post is up there ass one of the Moore pathetic ones I've read.
Peak dunning kruger
>King Cobra
>No. They're as quick as lightning
Your response to this anon:
?
He gets the jump on them, grabs them from behind while they're digesting or basking. The hypothetical situation should be both parties are aware of the other, a child can kill you while you sleep, doesn't mean anything.
Mike Tyson was told he was a fucking retard when he wanted to box a zoo gorilla. It doesn't matter how much you deadlift. If chimps were that easy to kill, then we'd have videos of people beating them to death or people would be sparring with them at the circus. Chimps rape African women and the villagers can't even fend them off. The chimp is also far, far quicker. A female chimp was recorded casually lifting up 700lbs with one hand. The deadlifter would get his arms ripped off.
You don't have to sneak up on it. Alternatively you just step on a front portion of its body to pin it. If it was raised you just bait the aggression and then go in. All snakes are fast but they're peabrained retards. My technique for killing snakes works on them all.
Anon, it has a striking distance longer than your whole body length and it can rear SIX FEET off the ground.
It's welcome to try. I need a new snakeskin belt.
> new study on the power of chimpanzees has challenged a century of assumptions on the super-strength of our primate cousins, finding their muscular performance is actually about 1.5 times greater than ours.
nice bullshit.
chimp weighs max 130lbs
hathnor weighed 450lbs at peak strength
meaning chimp would have 1.5 x 130 = equivalent strength to a 195lb man, still less than half the strength of hathnor.
pathetic, not to mention the reach advantage given he's 2.05 metres tall and a chimp is 1.5 metres tall.
he has half a metre height advantage, 320lbs bodyweight advantage, and is 2.5x stronger than a chimp.
eat shit, chimp lover.
>nig thinks iron mike couldn't drop a gorilla
that evolutionary offshoot wouldn't even make it round 3 with mikey
hathnor thorsen can lift 1,102lbs/500kg.
that means any animal lighter than that is going into orbit.
he could just pull most animals in half, and kill a chimp by popping its head with one hand.
eat shit monkey lover
The survey is for every person to answer for themselves, not for a peak human. Most Americans are obese and would get BTFO by a large dog.
fuck the survey, if animals want to send their best, we'll send ours.
to put that in perspective, hathnor can almost lift a gorilla or a lion with ONE hand.
he can even lift a grizzly bear by weight.
the only ones he can't lift are a nile crocodile and an elephant.
guarantee my lad would beat the shit out of your faggy animal fuckers.
for the elephant and the crocodile i'll hand him a lamppost to bludgeon the cunts to death with.
Bro, the animals can move. Bldybuilders/strongmem are immobile/slow, its why there ard no good bodybuilding fighters in martials arts tournaments
he's not a bodybuilder, he's the strongest man in the world.
an animal has to go near him to attack him, and when it does he'll pull its limbs off and then rip its skeleton in half with his bare hands.
he literally has 500lb pulling force per hand. now think about the mechanical advantage a human has in terms of arm mobility and opposable thumbs.
he carried a 710 kg (1,565 lb) log.
you're underestimating the significance of his strength. if someone was giving these figures about another animal you'd be pooing through a straw
you're exuding manlet cope energy
I am not saying he couldnt do it, I am saying he probably wont have the chance to do so cause animal movement is much faster than human. You cant simply grab a wolf with both hands, hell bite you when you go 4 it
what's the wolf going to bite? his arm?
with his other arm he can pull its head off
no doubt it will hurt him, give him some bites, but he'd pull it apart
Humans have mostly slow twitch muscle fibers, which are good for endurance, but chimps have far more quick twitch muscle fibers, which are better for explosive strength and speed. Chimps are quite literally twice as fast as humans, and are on average 1.5 stronger than humans overall, but it is the particulars where their real power shines. For instance, the average chimp has a grip strength of 441lbs, which is over 5 times greater than a normal human's.
I don't care how many pounds this dude can pull, or how heavy a log he carried, a chimp has enough grip force to crush his skull like an eggshell and has reflexes twice as fast as he does. He can literally rip this guy's face off in a second.
hafthnor can pick it up with one arm, and pull it in half.
all he has to do is keep pulling.
he is 2.5x stronger than a chimp, as i've clearly stated.
he can crush its body and pulverise its faggy fucking organs.
he can dismember it.
he can swing it round like a normal man would swing a chihuahua. that's the scale of power we're talking about. not even an exaggeration.
you don't know about strength because you've always been weak.
chimps are little weak shits and deserve to die.
>he is 2.5x stronger than a chimp, as i've clearly stated.
No, he isn't. A chimp easily outlifts and outpulls him, and has twice his reflexive speed, and five times his grip strength.
nice how you ignored
already went through the figures before your fagginess started.
a chimp lifts 1.5x more than the average man. hafthnor lifts 2.5x more than a feeble shitball chimp.
it doesn't have 5x his grip strength, it has 5x the grip strength of an average man, and given that hafthnor can lift 475lbs with one hand, he has 10x the grip strength of the average man, meaning he still has 2x the grip strength of a puny chimp.
hafthnor wins by every measure.
a chimp is a 4 foot tall manlet weakling, and hafthnor is a 6 foot 9 giant that can lift a grizzly bear and two chimps at the same time.
these are simple facts.
Because you're a retard that thinks strength is all that matters. Do you think he could beat prime Mike Tyson in a boxing match because he can deadlift more?
hafthnor already has 2.5x the strength of a chimp, it's done. humanity wins.
grip strength, beaten by another guy with 1.6x the strength.
height, tallest man was 9 foot tall, chimp is half that.
weight, heaviest man was 1,400lb at his peak, chimp weighs less than a tenth of that.
chimp loses in every category.
chimp runs at 25mph, fastest man 27mph
chimp punches 1.5x the average man, which would be 220psi. sounds impressive until you take the average boxer's punch which is 770psi.
that's not even the record.
average heavyweight boxer's punch is 1,200 and 1,700 psi.
7x harder punch than a shitty chimp can muster.
keep in mind that bone can be crushed at about 1,000lbs.
a chimp would be turned into jelly.
Be honest, how many times a day do you fantasize about hafthnor sexually dominating your tight little boipussy?
be honest, how many times a day do you use that term, and how many hours of porn a day do you watch
I never watch porn, it's degenerate and lowers your testosterone levels.
okay now without steroids
cope chimp
i accept your concession
you will never be a man.
>which are good for endurance, but chimps have far more quick twitch muscle fibers, which are better for explosive strength and speed
So that's why blacks are more explosive cause they're closer to chimps?
Ha
they do have 19% ghost dna which has been theorised to come from a meld of three lower primates similar to chimps, yes.
>ghost dna
Is that why spooks are so spooky?
When would an NYC animal control agent handle anything bigger than a raccoon
Zoo breakout?
If they were sending their best, they'd send a Polar bear.
then how are polar bears in shitty zoos?
checkmate animalist
We have already determined it is a fight to the death, if the human is hesitant, then yes he will lose the fight to the death, but why would he? I assume you never been in an high adrenaline situation where it's literally life threatening? Because you'd be surprised what human being is capable of in those situations. And you say fighting shape, again, that is not relevant, it doesn't matter how fucked up you get when it's a life or death situation...
I don't normally pick fights with animals but when I do I always win.
i could do a rat, cat, goose, medium dog, eagle.
probably a kangaroo, maybe a wolf if it is one on one.
chimp i'd have to train for a year.
large dog would be hard unless you can jump on its back and strangle it.
cobra i wouldn't like to approach since one bite and you're done for.
>crocodile over 4 foot, gorilla, elephant, lion and bear can fuck off
would you fight a horse though, i don't think you'd win unless you are a power lifter or heavy weight boxer.
I'm curious how you think you'll kill an aggressive adult wolf but also think you'll lose to a big dog.
i've seen some big dogs.
>6 foot tall dog
bred to defend against wolves and other predators
>pic related
___ ____ ____
haha
First six aren't even a question. End your life if you don't think you could take them.
Chimp is tough, but they're stupid creatures. They wouldn't know how to defend against a chokehold. If you panic, you're finished, but if you know what you're doing and keep your cool, it's doable.
Cobra is retarded. They can't even kill you for an hour. Just smash its head in and get some antivenom.
Kangaroos are a joke. Extremely stupid animals. If you couldn't take one, end yourself.
Wolf is just a dog. If you can't so it, end yourself.
Crocs can barely even move, but I'm not sure how you actually kill one. Can you choke it out? That's a tough one.
A gorilla is dumb, like a chimp, but their brute strength is too much. You'd have a shot if you kept your cool and had a plan, but few people could handle one.
Elephant, lion and bear are almost impossible.
I don't think you're appreciating how fast an Eagle can be. His talons will rip your eyes out before your brain will understand that he's diving at you.
>big bird swooping in at 70mph
Yeah, that's not that fast.
You can obviously see it coming, then you just grab it. Yeah the beaks and talons are sharp, and you will sustain heavy damage, but adrenaline will block out the pain and give you retard strength so you won't let go and just break his wings or something. It's a fight to the death, not a fight for dominance where you back out eventually. If you stop fighting, you're dead, so in that sense an average human being can do some heavy damage to smaller animals.
>had a plan
kek this anon thinks he is batman
Hello, cityfag. Yes, well-adjusted and experienced people think out certain possibilities before entering a predator-filled wilderness.
Sure bro, lets see your galaxy brain plan vs an enraged 500lb silverback gorilla. You should charge money for us to watch I can't wait to see you outwit it.
I would just not look him in the eye and be chill, and become his friend and hang out and watch TV and stuff
Depending on what they mean large dog, there are plenty of breeds that would eviscerate you, where unless you're buff athlete, with fighting experience, you stand no fucking chance.
It's a dog. Their bodies can't even sideways. Don't panic or try to run, take advantage of its low intelligence and grab its neck/head to prevent its bite. Yes, you'll need to be stronger than average, but average nowadays is for men, what average was for women 50 years ago.
A chimp wouldn't be easy, but you could take it if you're strong, experienced with grappling and MMA, and can get the jump on it. I doubt an average chimp has ever taken a solid fist to the jaw. Use your human ingenuity to take it off guard and go for a choke.
>vid
kek
>Chimp is tough, but they're stupid creatures. They wouldn't know how to defend against a chokehold. If you panic, you're finished, but if you know what you're doing and keep your cool, it's doable.
A chimp would rip your eyes out before you could say "banana." See this video of a monkey MUCH smaller than a chimp casually scalp some poor poo. Absolutely brutal animals.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/zpxeS8B-INg
could americans beat a moose
I guess they're like one of those
>let him charge you and jump out of the way so he hits a pillar
type bosses
Why'd he stare at the camera?
He's coming for YOU NEXT ANON
Fuck I was sure that would end badly. moose are not a joke.
Could you beat an animal with the mind of a woman?
Would you fuck a cat if you knew it was actually a cute girl turned into a cat?
No it would die
Aidrop me on an island with all these animals on it and come back in a year and I would be the king
>chimpanzee has a higher percentage than a gorilla
Some people are dumb as fuck. A gorilla is tough, but a chimp will fucking torture you do death. Do not fuck with chimpanzees.
Punch him. He's earned it.
I need to know how this ended
the bear got in, devoured everyone, and uploaded the footage to the internet.
dirty son of a gun, and what's worse is that he's still making money from clicks on his channel.
directly profiting off murder
I'm guessing this is at a zoo or something, because this looks to be an Asiatic Black Bear, which are pretty fucking aggressive, so in the wild the camera man would be next on the menu.
That's racial profiling anon wtf
does the bear know that it's illegal to do that? how would he feel if you did the same to his hibernation hole?
He's smiling!
Thinking about or wanting to fight any of these beast makes you a psychopath to begin with so anything bigger than an eagle is out of the question dumbass.
any chimp half the size of a man could "deglove" the flesh from your body with ease
shut the fuck up kid
How hard is it to poke a Crocodile's eyes?
could americans beat a giraffe
This is a really bizarre list. Why is a cobra so low? A cobra, like all snakes, is as easy as picking it up by its tail and immediately crack it like a whip. Do it at the ground for a guarantee. As someone in the South with a lake adjacent property I have a snake kill count well into the 100s and I routinely do this to around 10 copperheads yearly.
welcome to the armchair wild men thread anon
Anon, a king cobra is a lot bigger than a rattlesnake. They grow to be 15 feet long. The fuck are you gonna do against this animal? They can rear 6 feet off the ground and lunge almost 10 feet to strike.
>This thing can kill adult Elephants with its venom
>Anons in this thread saying they'll throw a shirt at it or poke his eyes out
So just get bit, kill the stupid thing and then get antivenom in the couple hours you have before death.
>Hours
An adult male human will drop dead in 30 minutes.
Thats completely false. The average fatality time is 2 to 6 hours. Anything under one hour is extremely rare.
A fit, large, healthy man could easily last over six hours, depending on where he's bit and how many times. You have no idea what you're talking about.
Why should the cobra only bite you once ??
Even if it does, 30 minutes is ridiculous, unless you're talking about an impoverished, elderly, thai woman.
A fit, healthy, young man can survive several hours after one bite. Maybe just a couple hours after two or more. But you should really only get one bite as you rush in to grab the snake. Once you have its neck, there's nothing it can do. It wouldn't be that hard.
One bite will kill in about 30 minutes, and that is usually all it takes to make whatever is threatening the cobra run very fast in the opposite direction (until it dies). If you keep coming at the cobra, it will bite you again, and again. They have been known to bite several times when threatened. In that case, you are probably dead in a few minutes.
If they're so deadly how is he holding one?
Might've had its venom glands removed, or it could just really trust him. Despite their reputation, king cobras are actually extremely chill, not aggressive at all. They only bite people when they are cornered / threatened, or defending their eggs, and otherwise avoid people and large animals. They actually mainly eat other snakes.
>king cobras are actually extremely chill
>you can hang out with them and they won't bite your eyeball
>They actually mainly eat other snakes.
It be ya own niggas
Bring a basket and a flute, easy.
Imagine if that copperhead was 15' long and could rear up and stare you in the face (assuming you're not a manlet, in which case it would be staring down at you)
I can take on all of them in a gunfight
It's more surprising that so many people think they can take a chimp. Those motherfuckers are tiny balls of muscle; even if you think you can match its strength (lol), they're so compact and dense with muscle you're never gonna get any leverage on them.
Thinking you can manage 800lbs of bear (if you fight the smaller species) is absolutely beyond retarded though.
People really think (on average) that a grizzly bear is more dangerous than an elephant? I can understand some people fantasizing that they could gouge a bear's eyes somehow, but what the fuck are you supposed to do to an elephant? You couldn't even reach the eyes.
i sure to win because my speed i superior
An elephant will likely not try to killl you, but if you have to fight to the death unarmed then both are impossible.
>An elephant will likely not try to killl you
lol you have no idea how fucking murderous they can be
I mean, a bear has sharp teeth and claws and can walk upright. An elephant is a fingerless quadruped, so even though it's far heavier it seems "safer". Sure, it's harder to kill, but it's to play defense. I could at least try to maneuver around it without fear of getting mauled as long as I don't let it stomp me.
And yes, I realize this doesn't explain the votes in the OP because the question is to beat them in a fight.
You realize an elephant's trunk is strong enough to break your ribs with a casual swing, right? It's a tube of solid prehensile muscle.
>a tube of solid prehensile muscle.
but enough about my penis
Every single part of the elephant's body is massive enough to kill you instantly. Once you are on the ground it is over in a second, and I think you are way overestimating how easy it is to dodge something that big. Think of the size of the area it could cover with a sweep of its tusks. Elephants are absolutely not lacking in offense.
You just have to gouge out the eyes and stay on its back
If you don't have at least a sword you're NOT getting past the cat.
>a large dog = 50 to 70lbs, and around 24 inches in height
If you don't think you could take that, you should probably kill yourself now.
t. would get mauled by a labrador
depends on if the bear knows karate or not
I think elephant is the dumbest one on the list. An elephant. Barehanded. What the fuck are you going to do exactly
There's no doubt in my mind i would murder everything up to and including wolf, probably a smaller crocodile too
>t. brown belt in jiu jitsu
>Picks up stick from the ground
What now liberals?
You have been disqualified. Rat wins.
I love the outdoors and camping and I am thankful everyday that I was born on the continent of Australia. It's really the only continent on the planet that does not have large blood thirst animals that can easily overpower a man (with the exception of crocodiles that really only exist up north and don't venture too far from water).
I honestly can't imagine camping in comfort in the Americas or Asia or Europe or Africa where there are bears and big cats and monkeys just roaming around the wilderness. Shit sounds terrifying.
Who are the people who think they couldn't take on a rat, cat, or some of these other ones in a fight? Are zoomers this weak?
Women
Why they hell would they be asking women in the first place? A women has no place in the wild fighting.
Right, but you have a place out there fighting elephants, right? Retard.
Nta, but
>Retard
You have no place calling anyone retarded if that post triggered you.
It didn't "trigger" me, I'm just an expert on retards so I could tell that anon was retarded. The main thing that tipped me off was that his post didn't make any sense. I can tell you are retarded because you assumed I was calling him a retard for political reasons, even though his post was clearly retarded.
>I'm just an expert on retards
I guess it takes one to know one....
Again, there's nothing all that retarded about what he said, the female of the human species, typically never fought.
Unless perhaps they were fighting for their life because they were being attacked by a wild animal? Anyway, why would you just assume that they would only survey men? Are you also assuming that they only surveyed young men, too? If you ever want to try being less retarded, one thing you can do is stop making baseless assumptions.
>why would you just assume that they would only survey men?
Why would they survey women? What's the point?
Why not survey babies and people in nursing homes while they are at it.
Why would they survey anybody? What *is* the point?
My wife, for one.
I think I could probably kill a black bear. I'd just climb on its back and punch its skull in. Anythign around the same weight or largely that I can't ride would prob get me.
Probably approached the question from a mortal standpoint. like "omg i could never kill a meowy wowee~!"
>Cobra
>Crocodile
It would be dodgy as hell, but I wonder if you could take out any animal that you can outrun just by exhausting it.
Chimp strength is a lot of estimation, but the common consensus is that an average chimp is pound-for-pound, twice as strong as an average man. However, since an average chimp weighs a little over half an average man, that equates to a pretty average strength level.
>Their grip strength is estimated to be 441 lbs (200 kg).
average man is 50kg grip strength a trained man is far higher. keep in mind that training is just representing a recreation of a life in the wild - chimps spend all days using their body/hands.
https://www.sciencealert.com/researchers-have-found-the-secret-to-the-chimpanzee-s-strength
David Horne has the world's strongest grip strength at 720lbs, 1.6x higher than a chimp.
you could work out every waking moment of every single day and you'd never have the muscle density or strength a chimp has casually.
>muh grip strength
Are you meming right now, or is this unironic?
eat shit
>NOOOOO YOU CANT SHOOT THE BEAR THATS CHEATING!!!
If bears could use guns do you think theyd still be playing by the rules?
You sound like the kind of coward that would challenge a cripple to a kick boxing fight.
yea, what of it?
I could kill all of them with my bare hands.
Depends what you consider beat or win. This got escalated pretty quick to kill in the comments, which is ridiculous on many levels.
Win/survive, win/walk away in one piece? Simply not dying to many of these is a victory in my book.
I honestly wouldn't even know where to begin trying to kill an elephant bare handed even if it was asleep and completely immobile.
climb inside its throat and suffocate it.
climb inside its anus and punch through its intestinal wall so it bleeds internally.
Jam a rock down its throat
Cavemen used to kill mammoths by making loud noises and scaring them off of cliffs
the medium and large dog delusion is distressing
I think the word "could" is doing some heavy lifting for some people. Could I take a large dog? Sure, maybe like 2% of the time. It's not likely, but I can imagine how I *could* pull it off if things really went my way.
I don't really see how anybody kills an elephant, but you have to remember that there are also a lot of really dumb people out there. About 2% of the population are considered intellectually disabled.
Pretty sure that breaks the unarmed clause. Cobra has no chance if rocks are allowed.
This shows how retarded the average american is.
There is no way in hell you are winning against a medium sized dog, there is no way in hell you are losing to an elephant
I'm giving you your (you) because I want to hear your plan for beating the elephant. Don't let me down.
Swim to the middle of a lake, it won't be able to reach you. It is winter right now so the elephant will die quickly since it is cold blooded meant for the african savannah climate
>mammals are cold blooded
fact
calm down sven you got your animals mixed up.
>source: 2021
A lots changed since then anon
there should be a man versus animal deathmatch arena with daily competitions.
fighters can choose which animal they fight and that way we can have specialisations.
chances are the anon from the top of the thread will train until he perfects his elephant circling technique and when he wins after a 3 day long endurance fight, and that fucking elephant drops dead, humanity will cheer like they haven't done in eons.
Yes.
Before all this runaway homosexualry 80% of American would tell you they’d kick a grizzly’s ass in a fight and if a grizzly ever walked into a room full of them they’d be 100% right
Here's the thi-HERE'S THE THING YOUTOOB you could never beat a King Cobra in a fight
Crazy thing is people are so scared of bears that even of you had 50 people there with no tools (including rocks or anything, just your bear hands kek) the bear would still win.
Alright Cinemaphile since you are so smart figure this one out. Which would win in a fight, a googolplex number of lions or the sun? Also the lions have a year to prepare and are lead by a super intelligent incarnation of adult Simba.