Are the cinemas nice where you go?

Are the cinemas nice where you go?

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Yes, but I make sure to leave a huge mess after I've watched a shitty film.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      This. It's the only way I know to ensure the cinéma knows of my disappointment.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Have you considered sending a sternly worded letter

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      tfw I did this once when I went with friends and one of them nearly had an aneurysm when I stomped the popcorn bag and it blew up and sprayed popcorn down the whole aisle

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Get better friends

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          he didn't yell at me or anything. he reached out in slow motion as I was doing it like he was trying to stop it and when it happened you could see the physical pain it caused him. I just said 'not my problem' and laughed. don't remember what movie they took me to see but the movie was so bad I just had to trash the theater

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >I just said 'not my problem' and laughed.
            Based

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            I'm sure Judd Apatow cares deeply about the theatre you trashed while he still got his money for your ticket. Christ what a fricking moron. Actual Black person mentality, "Me no happy so me destroy me immediate surroundings." Please hurry up and have a nice day you dumb fricking monkey moron gorilla Black person.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              I vote with my trash, if the movie was good I won't mess up your theater. But if the movie was bad me and my boys will tear your shit up. Serves you right for serving $5.99 for a fricking hot dog. Fricking pieces of shit.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            And then the entire room clapped.

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    yes quite nice actually.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      If the movie is bad I will go out to my car and grab a pack of cigarettes and start chain smoking them in front of the front door, blowing it into anyones face who walks in. I usually smoke them down to half then throw the still burning cigarette into one of several trash cans.

      not my problem

      It's basically the shopping cart theory of movies.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Not My Problem: NG++ lvl 99 bandit build

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Yes for the most part unless its a drinking movie and it's late, I went to the city one time and it was all Black folk and it was the worst film experience ever. So I can't complain.

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Why yes, my bedroom is pretty nice.

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    was watching this shit movie once, and this fat b***h seated behind me would say lol out loud. like anything that has even a touch of humor, shed say LAWL. I think about it when hitting my PRs in gym

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Lol

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Last time I was at a movie theater I brought in a little pocket knife and sat in the back of the theater and had the row to myself. I used the knife to cut open the inside of the recliner and shoved my half eaten disgusting tasting hotdog into it and then closed the recliner. It will be a long time before anybody finds it since the slit isn't visible unless you're looking for it. That's what those frickers get for charging me 6 dollars for a hot dog that tasted like ass.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >take seat at theater
      >wait until lights dim
      >pull boxcutter out of prank bag
      >cut slit in seat fabric next to me
      >pull grocery bag full of cat shit out of prank bag
      >dump cat shit into open seat
      >pull sewing needle and thread out of prank bag
      >sew seat back shut
      $2.99 for sour patch kids? Yea no. Frick you.

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I've never been to the local movie theater. I moved here in January of 2020, so it was closed down for the Shanghai Shivers and even after opening, I didn't feel the feed to go sit in a poorly ventilated room with hundreds of strangers. Anything I want to see that isn't on streaming immediately is just something I wait to see. The world isn't going to end if I have to wait a month or two to see the latest big budget blockbuster.

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Anyone ever become a poop bandit? Did you leave a turd on the seat and put your popcorn basket over it? A turd on the floor covered with a pile of popcorn? I once left a huge brown python hanging off the back of the chair.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I shat in a cupholder once and placed my large soda on top of it after seeing the Charlie's Angels remake.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Classic

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    If the movie is bad I will go out to my car and grab a pack of cigarettes and start chain smoking them in front of the front door, blowing it into anyones face who walks in. I usually smoke them down to half then throw the still burning cigarette into one of several trash cans.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      man, that's a real shame when folks be throwing away a perfectly good white boy like that

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >NOOOO, I HAVE TO DO 5 MINUTES OF ACTUAL WORK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Wow, I have a lot to do, let me sit on the floor like a baby and have my another take a picture.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >NOOOO, I HAVE TO DO 5 MINUTES OF ACTUAL WORK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

      Thats like seriously not even that much work. God help him if he ever gets a job bussing tables.

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Why is Cinemaphile full of manchildren? Trashing a theater is subhuman behavior.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      kek, found the seething jannie

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    i made good money at a restaurant. it turns out the best tippers don't leave a mess, while the worst tippers bring their niglets who spill drinks and don't attempt to clean anything.
    not that i expected anybody to clean anything, but a certain shade of people would mostly combine their garbage, utensils, and plates.

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I've peed in so many cups and either just left them there or let them spill on the carpets. the first few times I did out of necessity, now I just do it so that some Marvel gay has to watch his capeshit while smelling my piss

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >go to see new Star Wars movie
    >realize the lead actor is a female
    >take permanent red marker out of prank bag
    >begin writing my review of the film on the screen
    >that theater room is closed for 2 days
    They still had other theaters showing it but I was really disappointed in that whole ordeal. Still am in some ways

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    For me? I prefer the crustacean variety of the seafood boil to accompany me on my kinoplex experience. I find that cracking open crab legs/crawfish/oysters and slurping the juices is a divine treat. Sometimes I'll get a water cup and fill it with the butter to pour into my bag. I use the seats next to me (always unoccupied) to wipe the grease away so I can get a good grip on my next bite. I bring my key knife with me as well and slice open the linen so I can stuff the shells into them. If the movie is long enough I can sew the slit back together. The only complaint I have against my meal is the diarrhea the Cajun spices inevitably cause, that's why I think ahead and cut the linen under my seat as well so I don't miss a second of kino.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      any proof of you doing all this?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Some of you guys are alright, don't show up to buzz light-year tomorrow

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          someone tell the FBI

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    not my problem

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      wtf is wrong with americans

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      What's the issue? All the cereal and milk are inside the boxes. Just toss them away.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >bringing cereal to the cinema

      I'm honestly not sure if this is moronic or brilliant.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I smuggle a three course meal into the theater whenever I go. Do you guys not?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      How did they manage to smuggle all that in?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        cargo jorts

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    idk I haven't been to the theaters since getting kicked out of the joker movie lol

  17. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Aren't there security cameras in movie theaters? How come all of you anons who supposedly trashed these theaters haven't been identified and fined?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Fined for what? its called job security

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      a lot of them have those nightvision cameras above the screen. it's not hard to hide behind a chair and in a room full of people. It is only after you've left that they can see the damage and watch the camera footage. if you're doing it weekly you might get caught but even then chances are slim

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I always wear a mask. Those chuds in security better trust the science

  18. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I'm new in town where I live so I don't know, but also I don't remember the last time I was in a theater at all. Guess they were alright

  19. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Just did an interview with a theater today. They told me the starting pay is $10 (min wage in FL). I hope the Black person behind me got the job instead.

  20. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >someone tell the FBI

  21. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Anon, White Boi Walter had to clean up over 13 discarded crab leg husks with butter the other day after the 3 o clock Barbie shwoing.
    >You wouldn't know anything about that would you? They were in a metal crab trap too.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I swear Robert you give me a pass on this one and I'll do anything you want.

  22. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    i only go to alamo drafthouse these days, nice to be served and have the table and all that

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      My sister says the local cinebar is the best place on earth. Never been there myself, but the concept seems so strange. A waitress that goes to everybody's seats and takes their meal order in a fricking theater.

      I'll never go though, because going alone is probably so much worse than going to a regular cinema alone.

  23. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >all those mad wagies

    CLEAN IT UP

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      LMAOOOOO
      Frick jannies

  24. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >be me watching latest Scream up front and center
    >Eating pizza giddy with excitement
    >First jump scare comes on at beginning and I scream and simultaneously throw my pizza in the air
    >It gets stuck to the screen slowly sliding down
    >Everyone has to watch the remainder of the film with a giant grease streak in the middle

  25. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Yes, non-whites are not seen or heard.

  26. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    When I was a kid one of my best friends had a father that was a big fat guy, and when he would take us to the movies he would spend mad bucks on popcorn, drinks, candy, the works. He would throw everything on the floor and told us to do the same because "that's what the ushers are for...".

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      i always go to the toilet just before i pay and wipe the tip money all over my butthole. i pay waiters $3 to handle my shit money with their bare hands

  27. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    It's about sending a message.

  28. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >one of the gimp seats is open (basically padded toilet seats where the regular cinema seat should be, you're supposed to put a bucket the cinema gives you under it so literal morons can piss and shit while watching films, one is on each side all the way back in the nosebleed seats so they don't bother people)
    >load up on snacks with my EBT card; popcorn, nachos, hotdogs, burgers, sodas, mini pizzas, Milk Duds, the works
    >claim my comfy gimp seat
    >"in with the new, out with the old" non-stop for the entire duration of the film, have half a mind to think I'm pissing and shitting beverages and food I ate earlier in the film
    >film's over, get up to leave
    >I forgot to get a bucket
    >big mucousy turds running down an aisle turned into a slip-'n'-slide of piss and spilled soda (and a tiny little bit of blood, I don't get enough fiber)
    >big box of plain nachos I didn't eat (because the meat and cheese was on the nachos on the top) falls out of my lap and spills all over the place
    >try to catch it and accidentally knock the rest of my soda over
    I'd hate to be the one who had to clean that up, they probably closed that theater for the rest of the day and lost thousands of dollars on canceled screenings.

  29. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >go to see top gun with in-laws
    >spend previous night eating pickled eggs and drinking real ale
    >edge down my trousers just so my ass cheeks are touching the seat
    >spend entire movie bare ass farting on to the seat
    >put everyone off their popcorn
    >some outright leave
    >leave kinoplex and see a massive shit stain on the seat
    I actually liked that movie so held back a little. You should've seen what I did to jurassic world dominion

  30. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Clean it up janny.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >implying I work manual labour
      lmao
      keep seething about your betters and making your own environment shitty in the process. Black person.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >keep seething
        Reads previous posts:

        [...]

        I'm sure Judd Apatow cares deeply about the theatre you trashed while he still got his money for your ticket. Christ what a fricking moron. Actual Black person mentality, "Me no happy so me destroy me immediate surroundings." Please hurry up and have a nice day you dumb fricking monkey moron gorilla Black person.

        lol
        lmao even

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Why are you linking to my own previous posts and telling me to read them? Are you such a dumb wagie Black person newbie that you don't even know how to link properly?
          Back to plebbit.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Oh wait never mind i just got what you were saying. my bad. kind of mad i have to stay late in my cubicle working on these excel sheets -_-

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Northman screening?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        my first thought

  31. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I remember when I was a kid my dad took me to a burger joint and then we decided to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 in theaters. I shit myself at the burger joint because I thought it was a fart but it was an entire wet soupy diarrhea. We drove to the theater and sat down in the seats. It was a family thing for us to sit with one seat in between each other for more space. During the movie I slid my pants+underwear down just far enough for my shit covered ass to touch the seat. I sat like that for the rest of the movie. We left after and I would have loved to see the wagie's face when he saw that seat afterwards.

  32. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I haven't been allowed to go to a movie theatre since last September because of vaccine mandates. The moment I'm allowed to go back I have my revenge strategy planned. I will be sneaking in a 6 pack of Big Flats 1901 (walgreens beer) in my big puffy jacket and I'll be pouring it all over the seats and carpet to give it that piss beer smell. Fricking pieces of shit.

  33. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    still not my problem lmao imagine going through life with a slave mindset lol

  34. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Yeah. I don't live in America so there aren't packs of sub-humans that will screech like baboons or leave huge messes during any screenings I go to.

  35. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I only trash the theater if the movie was really bad. It's really their fault for serving me the shitty movie. If a restaurant servers me a bad meal, I don't tip. Since the theater doesn't get tips, I have no choice but to spill my soda as a form of quality control.

  36. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Yes I live in a white city

  37. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Sneak a Subway sandwich into the theater
    >Start enjoying my sandwich as the trailers begin to roll by
    >By the time the movie properly begins I realize I'm already full
    >Don't want the sandwich to go to waste so I start tearing it apart and throwing it around the theater room
    I watched knives out that day.

  38. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Last time I was at the cinema I spilt a ton of salsa on under the chair next to me snd chuckled on my way home knowing some wagie would have to get on his hands and knees to clean it up lol

  39. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    the theater by me did free refills of the big buckets and when we were in high school we'd scour the parking lot for the left over buckets and if they looked clean we'd sneak them in and get free popcorn. kinda gross maybe but whatever

  40. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    If the movie is really shit sometimes I’ll go to the bathroom stall and take my underwear off then flush my underwear down the toilet causing a flood and some wagie will have to stick his hands into my shit water to retrieve the undies

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      You guys ever have to drop one in public?
      >headed out to wagecuck job at 4am
      >stomach starts rumbling
      >absolutely no way I'll make it to my worksite
      >take nearest exit
      >not a gas station in sight
      >find a Hyatt hotel
      >drop one by the front door
      >was not a solid log, I sprayed that shit EVERYWHERE
      I should have just called out after that

  41. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Has anyone else ever started a clogathan at the cinema? In the historic Northeast, a lot of the old piping was built back when dysentery was regarded as a fact of life like the common cold and can't handle the titanic turds of the modern American. It's common courtesy to have a pair of stainless steel "pelican scissors" next to the toilet to cut your poop up into more flushable pellets. They're usually chained to the toilet or wall in public bathrooms, but you can cut them loose with a pair of needle nose plyers. If you do this to all the toilets right before a packed showing of a tentpole movie, dozens of people will be dying for release at the same time after a couple hours of sucking down goyslop and restricting their bowels in a sitting position. The pipes won't be able to handle the blitzkrieg of unchopped monster logs and they'll all get clogged up. It can get so bad that the bathroom floods and leaks into the hall so they have to close the bathrooms, maybe even close the whole cinema for the night depending on the layout.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      We call them poop scissors where I live.
      >dinner at in-laws
      >gotta make a deposit big turd (nickname in college was the porcelain punisher if that is any indication of how much of a bad man I am when it comes to defecating)
      >terrible low flow toilet
      >poop scissors aren't on a chain like they are at my office/theater
      >accidentally leave my pocket mirror in the bathroom
      >walk out into living room in front of in-laws and wife still holding poop scissors
      I could literally hear the curb your enthusiasm theme song in my head.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Pic related, a successful clogathan. It's a feeling like no other, like making a proxy hatch in StarCraft and watching your opponent panic as glorious creep fills their base.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Pic related, a successful clogathan. It's a feeling like no other, like making a proxy hatch in StarCraft and watching your opponent panic as glorious creep fills their base.

      Dark tile floors make it hard for people to see, so sometimes they're halfway through a poopy pool before the smell hits them like a truck. I haven't seen any slip and falls, but one guy soaked the bottom of his baggy pant legs and another dropped his phone in it.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        how many clogathons have you done

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Only four in my area, I'm afraid of going back to any joints I've already hit and getting that "recognizing a serial killer from America's Most Wanted" look from some cashier. I was thinking of doing a job abroad, but anywhere outside the Thirteen Colonies will have modern piping and no need for pelican scissors at all so it'll probably be a bust trying to get your clog on.

  42. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    when i was small my grandmother would take me to the cinema and i spent the majority of the time crawling around underneath seats and grabbing peoples ankles.

  43. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    I'm the first post and yes, I've done it plenty of times. Last film I did it at was Ghostbusters Afterlife

  44. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Full of Black folk so no.

  45. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    I'm the last one and I absolutely do wipe my ass with $1s. Me and my friends try and one up each other like that, you'd be surprised what we're capable of.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      any other stories

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        The last day of school we all went to a restaurant for lunch and said "first one to talk is gay" and to order food we just giggled and pointed at the menu. When he left we would dump our waters on the floor and he would come back and ask if we need anything and we'd all just point to our empty cups. Tipped him $1 and put it up high on a pillar under a cup and pointed it out to him when we were leaving.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >Tipped him $1 and put it up high on a pillar under a cup and pointed it out to him when we were leaving.

  46. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    don't know, mine has a no singles policy

  47. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    the cinema's in the UK are by the far the worst I've ever seen. I've been to see movies in Vietnam, Mexico, Poland, bumfrick kentucky...most british attractions are just a sad imitation. not even trying to troll, I like other shit in england but shit like movie theaters, bowling alleys, theme parks etc are always just shitter looking than most other places.

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