31, dead end job, single for about 9 years this year. For about 5 years now I live on auto pilot, no hope, no dreams just silent resignation. I remember that I used to have dreams, now it's all gone. It's like hope was pouring out of me one drop a day. I became a loser. I still remember reading post like mine years back and thanking god I won't end up like this. And here I am. Not everyone will get a happy ending I guess
>providing something to society
Society currently is defined as a giant machine that takes money from men and gives it to horrific social causes, shallow consumerism, the israeli chokehold on what we hilariously define as culture. It then happily sends those same men off to die for bullshit causes by filling their heads with lies about patriotism and honor, concepts that havent been relevant since the american revolution.
Frick society and frick every man that willingly participates in it
>providing something to society
well la de da the slaves are making people happy!
>my boss gets rich so therefore i do no good to society
money isn't the only thing you're producing, I hope. surely you're doing a real job, that creates a real, tangible product like food or metal ore or furniture, and not some made-up job like sales? well, then, you are doing good for society. without you, people would not have that good. yes, modern wage labor is unfair, but wage workers arent worthless, they're not living lives not worth living. man NEEETdom really twists you huh
>For about 5 years now I live on auto pilot, no hope, no dreams just silent resignation.
Is there even such a thing as spending your time meaningfully? I'm not sure I could say I ever did. But I guess I just didn't really think about it when I was younger.
>Is there even such a thing as spending your time meaningfully?
Not at all. That's all opinion in regards to each individual.
31, dead end job, single for about 9 years this year. For about 5 years now I live on auto pilot, no hope, no dreams just silent resignation. I remember that I used to have dreams, now it's all gone. It's like hope was pouring out of me one drop a day. I became a loser. I still remember reading post like mine years back and thanking god I won't end up like this. And here I am. Not everyone will get a happy ending I guess
This world is an illusion, as is time and death. You're worrying about shit that isn't even real.
>hardly social but want to try to do better for uni >frick up first semester and don't make any contacts >rona hits and everything is online >2 years pass and I only rarely talk to maybe 2 people >uni ends in 1 semester which is an internship
I really want to eat a bullet but it would make my brother sad and my time previously spend worthless. I just want life to move up again at some point.
Man this hits home, started uni didn't make friends because I'm socially moronic, semester later corona hits, when we come back people already formed small groups and I wasn't part of any of them. But it's always been this way for me, I'm still amazed that I have three close friends from middle school.
The npcs you see at work everyday are the ones living in autopilot mode. For people like me you are better than them, but that's just me, i'm just another loser on 4chin right? All the things you seems to care are moronic, unironically focus on philosophy, if you don't know where to start read marcus aurelius's meditations. You are not a loser.
I'd happily follow my dreams but I don't know what my dreams are as I am a schizoid with no centred sense of self, so I just go to work, take an interest in the world around me and shitpost as a coping mechanism
I broke out of the schizoid shell enough to find a hot schizoid girl to make my gf
it’s pretty based after a lifetime of no gf and people wondering what was wrong with me
you just have to irrationally believe in your ability to be the exception. It did take years to pay off but it finally has. I’m gonna die anyways. I had to know I at least really tried and then one day it paid off
>started Uni at 2016, all STEM classes >aced most things during the first year >stop trying during the 2nd >no friends or contacts, stopped going alltogether >accidents happen one after the other >stolen books, exam periods spent in the hospital, etc >try to get some tutors, but each one I try is worse than the previous one >haven't passed a single class since 2017 >gotten fat (around 100Kgs at a 6' and some change frame) and started balding (keeping it at bay with ointments, creams and whatnot) >know it in my guts that I've gotten much, much dumber >hired tutors for 6 classes this Semester, started exercising a bit >barely try and study bar the minimum because I'm numbd and can't get into a rythm/programme from 5 years of doing nothing and failing, so I'm too scared to seriously try because I'm dead-set I'll fail and that'll be the confirmation that I'm truly moronic >exams start on the 15th and I've not done a single revision
Technically I'm fricked, but lately I've been getting this feeling that it'll all work out in the end. That it'll be okay. This period of utter failure has made me a bit less neurotic, as I stopped caring much about all my perceived failings, and begun to let go of my numerous fears, one by one. I never quite knew what I wanted, and would greatly agonise over it, considering others had solid, concrete goals. Now I've abandoned such a notion and set more general goals; I'm letting life dictate the journey itself.
Maybe it's all cope, but I don't know, for the first time in quite a while I feel a touch more tranquil. As if this whole thing was done to make me less of a coward. To make me appreciate life as a concept more. To get harder. Or I'm just trying to justify my failings and random misfortunes as messages from fate. Whatever the case, I think I'll take my life head on from now on. What else is there left to do but experience the ride? You only get one life, and once it's over, it's over. Why not try and make the most of it?
>Thats how you know your beyond fcked.
How so? I don't feel this emptiness of when the dread has become so big that you've given up. I feel a sort of warm optimism. I've tanked my life as far as it can go, so I have nowhere left to go but up.
Which is better: father or fricker?
Fricker by a landslide
31, dead end job, single for about 9 years this year. For about 5 years now I live on auto pilot, no hope, no dreams just silent resignation. I remember that I used to have dreams, now it's all gone. It's like hope was pouring out of me one drop a day. I became a loser. I still remember reading post like mine years back and thanking god I won't end up like this. And here I am. Not everyone will get a happy ending I guess
you're employed and providing something to society. that's pretty cool
Frick society. For what I care, it could turn into anarchism.
Cinemaphile neets and other kind of looser would be first to be raped by comissar Jamal and comrade Tyrone tho
>providing something to society
Society currently is defined as a giant machine that takes money from men and gives it to horrific social causes, shallow consumerism, the israeli chokehold on what we hilariously define as culture. It then happily sends those same men off to die for bullshit causes by filling their heads with lies about patriotism and honor, concepts that havent been relevant since the american revolution.
Frick society and frick every man that willingly participates in it
>my boss gets rich so therefore i do no good to society
money isn't the only thing you're producing, I hope. surely you're doing a real job, that creates a real, tangible product like food or metal ore or furniture, and not some made-up job like sales? well, then, you are doing good for society. without you, people would not have that good. yes, modern wage labor is unfair, but wage workers arent worthless, they're not living lives not worth living. man NEEETdom really twists you huh
>providing something to society
well la de da the slaves are making people happy!
>college debt is the same as life in prison
a white liberal made this
>For about 5 years now I live on auto pilot, no hope, no dreams just silent resignation.
Is there even such a thing as spending your time meaningfully? I'm not sure I could say I ever did. But I guess I just didn't really think about it when I was younger.
I never cared about meaningfull, I just wanted to spend it being happy
>Is there even such a thing as spending your time meaningfully?
Not at all. That's all opinion in regards to each individual.
This world is an illusion, as is time and death. You're worrying about shit that isn't even real.
>This world is an illusion, as is time and death. You're worrying about shit that isn't even real.
Listen, Nietzsche shut the frick up
Frick Nietzsche
>This world is an illusion, as is time and death.
What kind of world salad mumbo jumbo nonsense is this? All of those things are tangible moron
>This world is an illusion, as is time and death. You're worrying about shit that isn't even real.
You're meant to progress past 15 anon.
>This world is an illusion, as is time and death. You're worrying about shit that isn't even real.
You have to be 18 to post here.
What kind of cope is this? He's right. People have known this for thousands of years.
Don't they teach the Upanishads in America?
>hardly social but want to try to do better for uni
>frick up first semester and don't make any contacts
>rona hits and everything is online
>2 years pass and I only rarely talk to maybe 2 people
>uni ends in 1 semester which is an internship
I really want to eat a bullet but it would make my brother sad and my time previously spend worthless. I just want life to move up again at some point.
Man this hits home, started uni didn't make friends because I'm socially moronic, semester later corona hits, when we come back people already formed small groups and I wasn't part of any of them. But it's always been this way for me, I'm still amazed that I have three close friends from middle school.
The npcs you see at work everyday are the ones living in autopilot mode. For people like me you are better than them, but that's just me, i'm just another loser on 4chin right? All the things you seems to care are moronic, unironically focus on philosophy, if you don't know where to start read marcus aurelius's meditations. You are not a loser.
So I will just embrace my misery, and read philosophy books?
Age doesnt matter. Only your health matters. Get a passion for something, goals, a project.
ok that hit like a brick wall
Save yourself anon, don't be me
This is pretty much me except I have a very good college degree. I'm unemployed now but hopefully I'll land a job that's worth my time.
Kinda same, boozing a lot, mostly alone but at least fit and tanned and somehow still optimistic one of my screenplays will get bought.
Same but 36
are YOU, homosexual?
I will have infinite time when I'm dead
any time spent with my favorite girls is time well-spent
I'd happily follow my dreams but I don't know what my dreams are as I am a schizoid with no centred sense of self, so I just go to work, take an interest in the world around me and shitpost as a coping mechanism
>I am a schizoid with no centred sense of self
Same. Exactly the same.
Sometimes I wish I was actually clinically fricked in the head, I could put a blame for my shitty life on something else than myself
I broke out of the schizoid shell enough to find a hot schizoid girl to make my gf
it’s pretty based after a lifetime of no gf and people wondering what was wrong with me
you just have to irrationally believe in your ability to be the exception. It did take years to pay off but it finally has. I’m gonna die anyways. I had to know I at least really tried and then one day it paid off
why did it age SO well?
i am procrastinating filling out my yearly essential appraisal for a career i hate and dont want to do anymore but have no other prospects
I have qt Asian wife so I made it. Nothing else matters now.
Cool tbh
>getting Cinemaphile
>learning Spanish
>Making money
>Have a gf
Actually yes, things are going well
>started Uni at 2016, all STEM classes
>aced most things during the first year
>stop trying during the 2nd
>no friends or contacts, stopped going alltogether
>accidents happen one after the other
>stolen books, exam periods spent in the hospital, etc
>try to get some tutors, but each one I try is worse than the previous one
>haven't passed a single class since 2017
>gotten fat (around 100Kgs at a 6' and some change frame) and started balding (keeping it at bay with ointments, creams and whatnot)
>know it in my guts that I've gotten much, much dumber
>hired tutors for 6 classes this Semester, started exercising a bit
>barely try and study bar the minimum because I'm numbd and can't get into a rythm/programme from 5 years of doing nothing and failing, so I'm too scared to seriously try because I'm dead-set I'll fail and that'll be the confirmation that I'm truly moronic
>exams start on the 15th and I've not done a single revision
Technically I'm fricked, but lately I've been getting this feeling that it'll all work out in the end. That it'll be okay. This period of utter failure has made me a bit less neurotic, as I stopped caring much about all my perceived failings, and begun to let go of my numerous fears, one by one. I never quite knew what I wanted, and would greatly agonise over it, considering others had solid, concrete goals. Now I've abandoned such a notion and set more general goals; I'm letting life dictate the journey itself.
Maybe it's all cope, but I don't know, for the first time in quite a while I feel a touch more tranquil. As if this whole thing was done to make me less of a coward. To make me appreciate life as a concept more. To get harder. Or I'm just trying to justify my failings and random misfortunes as messages from fate. Whatever the case, I think I'll take my life head on from now on. What else is there left to do but experience the ride? You only get one life, and once it's over, it's over. Why not try and make the most of it?
>Technically I'm fricked, but lately I've been getting this feeling that it'll all work out in the end. That it'll be okay.
Thats how you know your beyond fcked. Im the same way
>Thats how you know your beyond fcked.
How so? I don't feel this emptiness of when the dread has become so big that you've given up. I feel a sort of warm optimism. I've tanked my life as far as it can go, so I have nowhere left to go but up.
I'm trying
Worse than I expected