Believable fake facts about?

John Stewart is terrible at basketball.

Schizophrenic Conspiracy Theorist Shirt $21.68

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Hal Jordan hates Top Gun and thinks that Maverick is an unlikeable butthole.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I'm autistic for remembering this part but here's John trying and failing to hit a basket.

      I like this one.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      This could be true because lots of pilots do hate Top Gun

      /k/

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      So good.

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Why is that believable?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous
      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Wow

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Kamala Khan has a mind control fetish because it allows her to be lewd as hell without guilt

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Peter once forgot to let the police know where a mugger was webbed up and is worried he died in the alley. Be can't remember where it was.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Thought his webbing dissolved in an hour?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Yes

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        The joke being that sometimes he webs them up really high.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      That would be a good reoccurring nag for him. Makes him try to web up villains in the most obvious and in the way places so he never has to fear a villain got stuck somewhere no one could reach because of him.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Thought his webbing dissolved in an hour?

      There was actually a mini in the 90s where some guy Peter had webbed up is found dead and he's accused of murder. The guy actually died of a drug overdose after Peter's webbing dissolved, and his body was webbed up by one of his villains who'd managed to duplicate the formula

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    It doesn't matter how many rings Hal uses because the truth is that the power was inside of him all along.

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Superman continually clogs the toilet in the Hall of Justice but no one has the balls to confront him about it.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Who would clean the bathrooms at the Hall of Justice anyway? Or any of those kind of hideouts like The Watchtower or whatever secret lairs characters have.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Normally Robots. In the DCAU They just hired a support staff.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Janitor bots then? Almost seems like getting a job at the Hall Of Justice or The Watchtower would be a good way for a villain to gain access. They'd just have to clean up super shit and other messes.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            The suicide squad sneaks in to the watchtower as crew members in JLU, so you're correct in your judgement.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Booster Gold.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Human slaves.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Martian manhunter.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Counterpoint: Superman has super intestines and shits diamonds.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        He rarely shits or pisses. Like once every few months and it's almost nothing.
        His body is super efficient compared to humans and human food is not only un believably nutritious compared to the kryptonians food it us part of the reason he's so super strong

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Ed started collecting Hentai BDs right out of Hogh School.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      The idea of Ed being a sexual being is terrifying.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Ed absolutely fricks, he's tall, good-natured, and super strong. Probably drowning in pussy.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          I dont think women go for the autistic guys that don't bathe/have basic hygiene and have literal trash in his jacket

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Height covers for a lot of flaws

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Wally West is ambidextrous, if you check most of his fights you can see him using his right and left hands equally from panel to panel.

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Bruce has paid multiple women to say that they slept with him.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Raven actually hates Horror movies.

      These are both canon I'm pretty sure.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      [...]
      These are both canon I'm pretty sure.

      >Bruce has paid multiple women to say that they slept with him
      >canon
      Is he an incel or a homo?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        it is actually cannon iirc
        its so he can make out that hes been with many women but i would believe that if the news of bruce wayne paying models to say he sleeps with them and keeps raising young male wards then it would tarnish the frick out of him
        so hed get outted as a homosexual perv, and obvs the boys would come foward and say hes never touched us, everyone would jsut start saying bruce wayne is gay
        frick in this day and age why havnt they done this since its right up DCs agenda now

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          They wouldn’t do this because I don’t think DC would publish a story in ~~*current year*~~ about Bruce Wayne telling the press: “guys I’m NOT gay I promise”

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            And certainly not a story where accusations of sexually abusing minors turns out to be false

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            didnt he say he doesnt trust tims boyfriend and also didnt like superboys?
            god damn bigot (i didnt read that story i jsut saw the screenshots supersons s over for me)

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          The fact that no one has asked any questions about why Bruce takes in teenage boys all the time is kinda funny

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            And they all look like him
            It’s so creepy

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          That would explain why Tim became a gay.

          They wouldn’t do this because I don’t think DC would publish a story in ~~*current year*~~ about Bruce Wayne telling the press: “guys I’m NOT gay I promise”

          >tard doesn't know Batman was created by da joos

          And they all look like him
          It’s so creepy

          >pedophilia and incest
          Oh boy

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      The guy easily gets pussy so why would he need to do that?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        No time for love when you're the Batman

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Isn’t that hinted at in Year One age Gordon and Dent look around to see who Batman is, and Bruce conceives multiple different alibis, and when the two of them go to Wayne Manor one of the times, he hires a woman to be all over him, then whenever they leave, Bruce is like “Okay, you can leave now lady, here’s the money”.

      Or something like that? Is been a while since I read it though.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        im sure its been done many times but i recall something like that also and ive got year one so maybe thats it
        im sure nolan references it with him with those two random russian models and jumps in trher fountain with them

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Raven actually hates Horror movies.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      That one's true actually, Raven's a fake goth.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        you just know her ipod is full of black veil brides and falling in reverse, probably wears a bahaus t shirt but only knows bella lugousies dead

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I thought that was the case? Like, hate as in she was scared of them and avoids watching them

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Lex Luthor once tried to modify Superman's testicles so any kids he had would have had Lex's genes instead

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Finn would probably molest BMO if he convinced BMO not to tell anyone. Guy's a creep.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Adam Muto? Absolutely.
      You shouldn't let Adam Muto near a male underage child at any time, or else he's going to beat down that kid into having all the complexes in the world, because Muto has such a self hatred of himself.

      Finn? No, he was just the recipient, the totem of Muto's abuse. Tumblr just ate it up because they are the type of people to enjoy abusing their children (if they even have any) and want to deflect their own sufferings and self hate onto a pure vessel that is not deserving, thus continuining the cycle of abuse.

      Luckily, Finn is a cartoon; the abuse can't continue. However, its sad to see someone actively abuse a child on screen, over and over again, and watching the rest of the world eat it up because "Haha, Lesbians!"

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        You killed the thread with your weird rant

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Not a rant. A statement of fact.

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Died a virgin

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Bruce Wayne occasionally lets other heroes dress as Batman for one night just to confuse criminals and perpetuate the stories about him.

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Supes has these projects he does in his downtime. He likes doing slow, methodical stuff that take alot of concentration and doesn't use his powers for. For like three years he's been slowly whittling a canoe. He plans on taking his dad and son out fishing on it when it's done.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I believe it

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      That’s believable and wholesome. Very Superman-esque

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Does Clark insist that it’s catch-and-release only, or does he let his dad take certain ones back to have a little bit of a fish fry?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >catch-and-release only
        I know some people don't like personally killing things, but that always seemed extra dick-ish to me.
        You don't want to kill the thing, but you will jam a hook in its' mouth and make it struggle for its' life and then suffocate a bit, just so you can have some fun.
        At least people who eat fish are, ya know, hurting the fish to be fed instead of fricking with it for a laugh.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        He grew up a farmer, so I'm sure he's fine with killing animals for food.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      He also loves watching This Old House/Ask This Old House.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Supes has these projects he does in his downtime. He likes doing slow, methodical stuff that take alot of concentration and doesn't use his powers for. For like three years he's been slowly whittling a canoe. He plans on taking his dad and son out fishing on it when it's done.

        probably collects model trains and builds dioramas

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >Superman has a second Fortress of Solitude just dedicated to his train model trains and dioramas.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Most of his major villains know about but they've all independently decided never to attack it because why bother

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              Do you want to be the man responsible for fricking up hundreds of hours of Superman's hard work? That's just asking for a one way ticket to getting thrown into the sun. Or at the very least, being forced to keep him company while he meticulously rebuilds everything.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              Do you want to be the man responsible for fricking up hundreds of hours of Superman's hard work? That's just asking for a one way ticket to getting thrown into the sun. Or at the very least, being forced to keep him company while he meticulously rebuilds everything.

              I feel like Toyman would go for it. Sounds like he’d win either way.

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                >Toyman breaks into Superman's train model fortress
                >Superman reaches it later, ready to stop him
                >Toyman is just playing with his models, engineer hat included
                >he was the one guy autistic enough to appreciate the little details Superman put into his work

              • 2 years ago
                Anonymous

                >They spend the rest of the day talking shop and make plans to go shopping for supplies together

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    plastic man has been metoo'd

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >when pressed on it in court all the accusers admit they enjoyed it

  17. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Bobby Hill likes to unironically watch porn videos for the plot, and is actually disgusted and confused by all the sex

  18. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Joker gets beat on Twitter all the time.

  19. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Wonder Woman takes 30 minute showers.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      is that supposed to be weird
      I take 30 minute showers

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        look at this guy and his 30 minute showers over here
        who do you think you are man, wonder woman?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous
    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Wonder Woman only bathes in those big Greek communal baths with like 20 other naked amazons

  20. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Batman and Joker regularly engage in vigorous, sadomasochistic sex

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I don't find this one very believable

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        The tabloids probably run this every other week though

  21. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >all the other Green Lanterns hate him

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Most crustaceans are extinct in DCU's 25th century
      >Booster Gold seeing someone eat lobster for the first time almost made him vomit

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Guy Gardner made the first Legion ring as a joke because he knew Booster Gold stole one in the future.

  22. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Wildcat fell down a hole in the park that led to this underworld where these little dwarf people lived and he helped them with their problems and they made him their king and gave him a sword and he went back home but could never find the hole again.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      that sounds like a silver age goofy story
      wildcat vs the smurfs

  23. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Due to the huge amount of superheroes running around ,some kids have taken to recreate Battles, do Dangerous Stunts and fight as if they were superhuman
    Every superhero had to go give a school talk to stop kids from beating the bejesus out of eachother

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      That girl has some thick thighs.

  24. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The reason why John Stewart has a tape of and watches Old Yeller is because, when he was a kid, one of his pet dogs got rabies and bit his friend, but in order to get the dog off of her, he picked up a large stick and hit the dog in the head with it. This apparently killed the dog, but his parents just told him that it just knocked the dog out and it was taken to the vet, and that they gave the dog to another family. He felt really bad that his friend had to get all those rabies shots and some stitches afterwards, and he keeps his old copy of the movie as a reminder that, even though it may be hard, prevention is better than restoration.

    Later, when he was in his late teens/early twenties, his parents finally told him what happened to the dog. This also ties into the episode where Hawkgirl has to kill Solomon Grundy to put him out if his misery, and she supposedly uses her mace to do it. John also makes a little reference to Old Yeller during this.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah, I could see this being part of a flashback that sets up a tough decision he hast to make later on in the episode or series.

  25. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Ren abuses Stimpy not just out of anger, but because he gets off on it.

  26. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Barbara goes to all the Internet forums that talk about super heroes

  27. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Zatanna has cursed multiple people for mildly annoying her

  28. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Wolverine's attraction to Jean Grey stems from trace memories of a childhood friend he had a crush on.

  29. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Aquaman frick fishes

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Aquaman eats fish, he only fricks his wife.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Aquaman eats fish, he only fricks his wife.

      >women fear me, fish want me

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      It was a dolphin.

  30. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Jason doesn't hire prostitutes, but he does do those phone sex call-in lines. Then when he's done, he leaves the call going for an extra hour.
    It's because he bills it to Bruce, and Bruce is too busy/embarrassed to ever talk to Jason about it.

  31. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Superman always feels awkward whenever the topic of sex is brought up

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      it's those tights. He knows they don't leave much to the imagination and unlike Batman, can't just slip a protective cup on underneath since it'd be conspicuous in his normal clothing. But Lois definitely notices.

  32. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Dick is the only Robin that ever existed

    All the others are manifestations of Bruce's mind

    Dick, Babs and Alfred just go along with it

  33. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Shaggy has actually never taken any illegal drugs in his life since he's scared of the effects and would rather spend all that money stuffing his face with Scoob

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      pretty sure that's what they say in the episode of harvey birdman with him in it

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >The rumor about Shaggy's reliance on drug use has persisted for so long that younger fans today assume he eventually kicked the habit. One part of him wants to correct these people, the other part is just happy folks from around the world care about him.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Shaggy also occasionally get's letters of thanks from people who quit. They looked at him as someone who managed to overcome years of drug use and were inspired to change their lives because of him. These are the fan mail he always tries to respond to, usually saying he's glad for them and wishes them well. He doesn't have the heart to tell them the truth and it makes him a little nervous that the truth may one day come out.

  34. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    In the mainline DC furries obsess over batman and other animal themed superheroes.
    Batman, hawkman and woman, catwoman.
    especially cheeta
    They all of course absolutely wish they could distance themselves as far from that community as possible for various reasons but mostly seething disgust.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Really dealing with obsessive fans would probably be an annoying problem for superheroes in general. But that specifically seems very annoying to deal with. I would imagine at the end of some group meetings the topic of weird fans would occasionally come up and they'd each share stories of the kind of crazed offerings and tributes they've received.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      It's not like Batman actually dresses like a bat, I feel like they'd be more into Man-Bat.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        You made me imagine a Ted Bundy situation except it's Man-bat receiving letters from furries while in prison.

  35. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Superman and Batman jokingly love joining together to play pranks on Flash such as making Flash think that Batman can read minds.

  36. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    There is timeline where Clark Kent is a famous baseball player.
    Lex Luther is his biggest fan.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Seems like it would be too easy for Clark to play sports

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        He's a human in that timeline.
        Same timeline Luthor is a superhero

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Clark becoming a sports guy could be a path he'd take His whole reporter thing was because he had his double life thing going on, right? Without it he very well may have took up sports or any other path in life.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        He becomes a famous sports reporter after he gets hurt helping a bus of children.

        He and Lois have an on air flirting thing where she calls him Smallville and he calls her city girl.

        Lois has an on air breakdown while reporting Clark fighting off a parademon with a baseball bat to save children.
        He seemingly dies.

  37. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    john was asleep during emerald twilight

  38. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Every version of Velma has Said the Term "Jinkies" exactly 2:56 runtime into an episode/movie regardless of context

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Actually sounds like a thing they'd do. Either that or Fred mentioning he can bench two twenty only when when there was a two twenty in the run time.

  39. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Hank Hill is the strongest man on Earth.

  40. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The Joker is an excellent cook and if he wanted he could cook you a wonderful meal, it is just that he'll always choose poisoning it.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      His cooking skills are a contributing factor in how he keeps getting henchmen.

      Sure, he might kill you, but you're a criminal in Gotham, odds are you're not long for the world anyway, might as well go out dining on 5-star meals every weekend.

  41. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    In January of 1991, a drunk John Constantine puked in a bouncer's mouth while this played in the back.

  42. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Bruce Wayne is a pedo who keeps boys with similar backstories and who all strangely look similar to him locked in his basement. Jason Todd was killed because Bruce had him killed for trying to escape.

  43. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    His favorite movie is Watermelon Man, if only because it was one of the first movies he saw after coming to Earth. I say "one of", because the first movie he actually saw was Red Planet, mistakenly believing it was a documentary.

  44. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I can see that.

  45. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Joker has had multiple disposable and replaceable Harley Quinns, at one point, he convinced an androgynous young criminal male that he was transgendered and pretended to be supportive saying things like "I may be a criminal but I'm not a bigot!", he convinces him to become the first "Transgendered Harley Quinn" and is the only Harley Quinn he never physically abuses, but instead mentally abuses, saying things like "hey you look a little too masculine today, you should take more HRT". He is in no way attracted to him, and is only doing this because he thinks its funny, and eventually gets a new Harley Quinn behind his back, which drives him to suicide.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Do he's a Cinemaphile discord troony/Twitter groomer?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        no because he's not actually attracted to him, he only mind breaks him and furthers the mental illness because he thinks its funny

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Fricked up but interesting

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      The multiple Harleys part is canon

  46. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Sam is secretly tone deaf.
    Max is a bleeding heart liberal.

  47. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Jon contracted monkeypox
    Ironically, this doesn't have anything to do with his homosexuality

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      My money says he caught it fighting Grodd. No way can a kryptonian throw hands with a psychic and super intelligent but otherwise physically normal gorilla and not draw blood.

      Cheetah no longer robs banks because she gets more money from Only Fans.

      I feel like a lot of Villainesses could do this.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >that haircut
      bussin fr fr no cap

  48. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Like Cage's favor blaxploitation film is dolomite

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Luke cage shaved his head because people keep confusing him For Michael Jai white.

  49. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Cheetah no longer robs banks because she gets more money from Only Fans.

  50. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Related to the idea of Superman enjoying model trains and making a canoe, Batman loves model planes, cars, even gunpla. It’s part of how he gets inspiration for his bat-vehicles.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      batman doesn't seem like the kind of guy who'd have the patience to make stuff himself. he'd always figure he could be using that time to make better gadgets to fight crime
      bring a collector is believable though, every once in a while taking a stroll through the display rooms

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        He collects mementos to his crime fighting.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          A small part of Batman actually gets a little excited to see new villains because it means he can dedicate a new area of his collection to their gear and unique villain tools.

  51. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Taskmaster probably tried out magic or thought he could do magic since it's just hand signs and movements, but he feels bullets and lasers do the exact same thing 99% of basic spells already do.
    He also gets hired to stream snipe people on Twitch.TV (Or their equivalent) by children, since he's good at every video game ever for unrelated reasons

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >He also gets hired to stream snipe people on Twitch.TV (Or their equivalent) by children, since he's good at every video game ever for unrelated reasons

      That's pretty brilliant.

  52. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Starfire plays up her alien misunderstandings when around new people when it's time to do chores to get out of doing them

  53. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    It has happened several times to Wonder Woman, that when she uses her lasso of truth on random thugs these reveal that they really enjoy being beaten and tied up by her.
    This makes her very uncomfortable, and sometimes she avoids using the lasso just because of it.

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