That isn't what I said, and 4000 years ago still isn't supported by your pic. Also, Howard's hyborian age setting encompassed the entire afro-eurasian continent, not just northern europe so your comparison is way off. Howard loved to include ancient histories and myths in his setting but he still led his Hyborian Age essay with a disclaimer saying it's all fake and not intended to be taken as historical. So yes, he made it all up.
Cimmeria is made up of a bunch of tribes scattered about in villages. Most of the time they just fight each other or the nords and only occasionally do they band together as an army. Usually when Aquilonian dogs start getting uppity.
a lot of Howard's stuff is just stuff Greek and Celtic mythology. Hyperboreans were a mythical race from the far north. The Greek also had a mythical race that lived in the far south who were called the Macrobians
There is none. However some other movies that orbit around Conan in my brain (of various genres because there isn't any other good sword and sorcery kino)
Rolling Thunder
Death Race 2000
Mad Max 2 The Road Warrior
Jeremiah Johnson
Thief
Literally just read Howards Conan stories. They're almost 100 years old but they're still 10x more exciting than the slop tv and movies we're being fed. They're short, they're free online. No excuse not to
There is none. However some other movies that orbit around Conan in my brain (of various genres because there isn't any other good sword and sorcery kino)
Rolling Thunder
Death Race 2000
Mad Max 2 The Road Warrior
Jeremiah Johnson
Thief
What movies can compete with Conan for most kino score of all time?
i actually think the second Conan movie is better than the first
>Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a thief, a reaver, a slayer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the israeliteeled thrones of the Earth under his sandaled feet.
I always picture Conan like a more rugged Peter Steele than Arnie but the movie is kino
William Smith, the actor who actually ended up playing Conan's father and gave him the "Riddle of Steel" speech was originally considered but was too old. He looked like pic related when he was younger.
>every race and culture mention atlantis or city that sank into the sea despite never meeting or interacting across oceans and thousands of miles over thousands of years
No it was Aaron, and his sons became levite priest, his daughters became Erinyes/Furies. And the sons of the daughters of of Aaron became the Tuatha Dé Danann/ tribe of dan. The judges of Judah. They were esentialy a Persian/Roman mix Justice guild or cult you could pay for recompence or vengence. Adter the Mughal Mongol glood and arab/turk incasion of celtic anatolia they migrated and there positions within the new Great Hearasy Bizantine empire started being filled with Sharif or Sheriffs, meaning decedents of Muhamud
Scythians were based as hell. >invent horsenagger tactics before other steppecunts were even born >have a few women in your horsenagger packs and inspired the myth of the amazons >be so cool that the Irish were we wuzzing them in the 11th century
This is also how REH connected Conan to Cimmeria despite being a proto-Celt
>The Enarei, singular Enaree, were Scythian androgynous/effeminate priests and shamanistic soothsayers who played an important role in the Scythian religion.
>The Anarya belonged to the most powerful Scythian aristocracy. They were born male, but wore women's clothing,[6] performed women's jobs, spoke like women,[9] and were believed by the Scythians to be inherently different from other males and that their androgyny was of divine origin; according to indigenous Scythian shamanic traditions, the Anarya were considered "transformed" shamans who changed their sex, which characterised them as being the most powerful shamans, due to which they inspired fear and were thus accordingly given special respect in Scythian society, and the Scythians ascribed their androgyny to a "female disease" causing sexual impotency.[7]
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
>endorse twink supremacy >become badass horselords
Coincidence? Or divine blessing?
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
They were tranny freaks, no wonder they went extinct
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
Yes troon, really >"During the 7th century BC, theScythiansexpanded into West Asia, during which time theScythian religionwas influenced by the religions of the peoples of theFertile Crescent. The Scythians believed that the androgyny of the Anarya originated during this period"
Oh and nice source homosexual >Cassell's Encyclopedia of Queer Myth, Symbol, and Spirit: Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Lore
>"My lord, I caught this oriental trying to spread homosexualry"
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
Yes the Scythians were smol little trannies and as a result they went extinct
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
>"and the Scythians, where are they now?" >"You're looking at em, asshole"
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
Incredibly based histchad BTFOing tranny-obsessed shitposter. Conan threads are always such a joy
you know what I hate most about this one? the ending where the insanely beautiful virgin princess offers to marry him and make him king and he says "no I will win my own kingdom blah blah blah" and I'm just watching like, dude you saved her from sacrifice and killed a huge fucking monster I'm pretty sure that counts as you taking the kingdom, just fuck the hot girl and be a king.
Nope, Conan don’t share thrones with nobody, especially not some weak whiney teenager that can’t even pick up a sword. He’d just be Queens consort or something anyway. It wouldn’t be HIS.
this
that shit ending was a subversive psyop to try and make men not want to fuck young white virgins
you can only suspend your disbelief so much
that ending was too much
no amount of social conditioning is gonna make young white virgin girls unattractive
which book does it say this?
when I tried to read his books I dropped it in the 1st one where in the first chapter he was simping for some old roastie whore
In almost every single REH Conan story he has some white hottie trying to slobber his knob. Many are royalty and most are stated to be virgins on top of that. Also I have no idea what book you're referring to.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
Conan The Invincible
my books are arranged in chronological order
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
Well Conan the Invincible wasn't written by Robert E Howard so it's not even close to the first. Read the original short stories and form your opinion of Conan off of those. Everything else is secondary.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
I prefer to read in chronological order of the main character
which REH book/story has Conan being at his youngest?
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
kek, always in writing order young nigga, chronological is for spergs
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
I prefer to read in chronological order of the main character
which REH book/story has Conan being at his youngest?
Red Sonja is a much better sequel in aesthetics, and it’s as close to a Conan story as you can legally get. But the story is a mess and the acting atrocious. If you can ignore it and focus on Schwarzenegger and the hot chick slaying on the steppe it’s worth swapping out for the Destroyer.
Yeah, Red Sonja was better than I have it credit for when I saw it as a kid, and is definitely a better movie than Destroyer. It's got its nutty moments but it still holds up.
Cool a swords & sandals thread. Hey, whoever were the two douchebag anons that said Conquest was a good movie: You were wrong. I started this post mean, but I can't let anymore of the suck that was that movie plague me with bitterness too. I'll never take a recommendation again.
Mutts are better in the sense that inevitably, pure-breds genetically bottleneck.
Before that bottlenecking though, they reach a certain level of gene excellence brought on by continual refinement. I think it's something like, every 7 generations, you should try and get new admixture. That doesn't mean from an entirely different race, just from a different locality. Like Austrians mixing with Poles, or Germans mixing with French. If you mix two VERY disparate races, like English and Aboriginal, you could get mutants.
Mutts are in fact an example of genetic bottlenecking, it's a consolidation of genes.
The way to avoid bottlenecks is isolated populations speciating.
For evidence refer to South America, an entire continent of mutts that have through superhuman effort managed to lock themselves into obselescence for the next century.
Contrasted to the continent of Australia, populated by the societal rejects of Britain who through no effort at all created a country with one of the highest living standards in the world.
When sequel with King Conan's bastard son trying to prove himself against Conan's shitty and devious true born sons?
…causing the wayward legitimate son to step up and claim his throne as the true king.
You don't fuck around with arapaima's, they can very large and they have thick skulls. They basically throw their entire body at you when try and headbut anyone, making them quite lethal because they're all muscle.
But... why?
To make better slaves? It's obviously to the death that's why one has a skelington still attached to it
Also it looks like he was pushing it for 16 odd years, the time to have several people watching/repairing the machine etc as well as his high protein diet just seems like a collosal waste of resources
kek, always in writing order young nigga, chronological is for spergs
Not him but you should read stories from the the OG author first, they're usually the best written. Also the Conan short stories were NEVER meant to be read in chrono order and they certainly were not constructed that way. You learn about different aspects through different stories and piece them together as the ideas were written. Then you can get a sense for how the story evolves and you aren't jumping back and forth between totally different qualities of stories.
Imagine reading HPL's At The Mountains of Madness then reading The White Ship. Huge whiplash.
But... why?
To make better slaves? It's obviously to the death that's why one has a skelington still attached to it
Also it looks like he was pushing it for 16 odd years, the time to have several people watching/repairing the machine etc as well as his high protein diet just seems like a collosal waste of resources[...]
I've heard it called a water pump for a mine
Are you blind? You can literally see the crushing stones rolling at 0:12
>Hey kid, just keep pushing this wheel and soon enough you'll be super ripped. And then you'll never have to work out again either
Its a mowing weel, served to make white plaster from limestone.
The behind the scenes content explains everything but if you pay attention and look at the structure you can even see the white "paint" being made as it turns.
If you ever think "what the fuck is this?" whilst watching this movie, i guarantee there is an anwser.
Yeah. If you get a show on Netflix you are clearly a plant.
I believe in Gulliver's Travelgate.
Stargate is real and so is God's of Egypt. The Earth is flat. Abydos is the new world. Antediluvians are a eugenic miracles of humanity. Giants of intellect and size. We were their slaves and we overthrew them. They retreated to Americas. Their slaves overthrew them and then Daniel Jackson, I mean Columbus, found them just like in the movie.
Between 4-11 thousand years ago, if you're wondering.
4 thousand years ago? 2000 BC?
What?
I think he just made the number up.
>"Howard just made it all up-ACK!"
so king conan really did appear to him is what your saying
That isn't what I said, and 4000 years ago still isn't supported by your pic. Also, Howard's hyborian age setting encompassed the entire afro-eurasian continent, not just northern europe so your comparison is way off. Howard loved to include ancient histories and myths in his setting but he still led his Hyborian Age essay with a disclaimer saying it's all fake and not intended to be taken as historical. So yes, he made it all up.
so Cimmerian is a huge kingdom why in the movie is it just a little village?
Its a region, not a kingdom.
Cimmeria is made up of a bunch of tribes scattered about in villages. Most of the time they just fight each other or the nords and only occasionally do they band together as an army. Usually when Aquilonian dogs start getting uppity.
>so Cimmerian is a huge kingdom why in the movie is it just a little village?
it's only a little less savage than the Pictish Wilderness
>Zembabwei
Dude just gave up there
lel
This is probably the cleaned up version, his original most likely just had an arrow at the bottom that said here there be black devils.
>Zembabwei
a lot of Howard's stuff is just stuff Greek and Celtic mythology. Hyperboreans were a mythical race from the far north. The Greek also had a mythical race that lived in the far south who were called the Macrobians
Okay, Howard did a lot of things well.
Geography was not one of them.
Why did we invent writing so late?
It's not fair.
I want to know the lives of the people who lived in Dogerland.
What other kino even comes close to this? I've seen Excalibur and Fire and Ice.
I got some of these vibes from Flesh+Blood with Rutger Hauer.
Dragonslayer.
>Dragonslayer
Based. Picrel also is a soft spot for me.
Sean Connery, wasn't it?
I can also genuinely recommend Reign of Fire.
Still the only dragon that felt scary like a dragon should put on screen
There is none. However some other movies that orbit around Conan in my brain (of various genres because there isn't any other good sword and sorcery kino)
Rolling Thunder
Death Race 2000
Mad Max 2 The Road Warrior
Jeremiah Johnson
Thief
Legend (Director's Cut)
Beowulf
Literally just read Howards Conan stories. They're almost 100 years old but they're still 10x more exciting than the slop tv and movies we're being fed. They're short, they're free online. No excuse not to
you must elevate conan with LSD & a different soundtrack
say no more senpai https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxR-oKkwJLI
whoa
Krull
The Norfman is a good modern take on the revenge tale.
no one posted one the most important movies ever made
You must be joking.
>Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a thief, a reaver, a slayer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the israeliteeled thrones of the Earth under his sandaled feet.
I always picture Conan like a more rugged Peter Steele than Arnie but the movie is kino
I always imagined a buffer Richard Todd as Conan.
William Smith, the actor who actually ended up playing Conan's father and gave him the "Riddle of Steel" speech was originally considered but was too old. He looked like pic related when he was younger.
>LET ME TELL YOU OF THE DAYS OF HIGH ADVENTURE
That chick did a nude photoshoot with Dolph Lundgren.
She was also fucking him in him orgies.
grace jones still can hula in her 70s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=6kSZVtLFygs
im not having sex with a woman with that haircut
I always wondered what their child could have been
I love Beastmaster. Deathstalker is also retarded fun.
but Atlantis never existed, its just made up to make Athens look great
>every race and culture mention atlantis or city that sank into the sea despite never meeting or interacting across oceans and thousands of miles over thousands of years
iT nEvEr exIstEd i m vrEy smOrT
Shouldn't you be making another graham hancock thread?
"every rance and culture mention atlantis or city that sank into the sea"
Okay, lets see it, wheres those stories?
>rise of the sons of Aryas
I wonder if the first Aryan man's name was actually Aryas.
it was hairy ass
No it was Aaron, and his sons became levite priest, his daughters became Erinyes/Furies. And the sons of the daughters of of Aaron became the Tuatha Dé Danann/ tribe of dan. The judges of Judah. They were esentialy a Persian/Roman mix Justice guild or cult you could pay for recompence or vengence. Adter the Mughal Mongol glood and arab/turk incasion of celtic anatolia they migrated and there positions within the new Great Hearasy Bizantine empire started being filled with Sharif or Sheriffs, meaning decedents of Muhamud
Aryan=north india, pakistanis who traveled through iran into europe. Misc schizos don't even know what their conspiracy theories are.
>Says words
>no evidence or prof
Seethe libshit glow troon we educate our people not propagandize them with orc doctrine
Indo-Europeans originated in East Europe/Western Central Asia, this has been settled science for like 100 years
Absolutly, celtic semetic peoples were living in Greater Sythia and Anatolia before the influx of Mughal Mongol India
These were the children of Aries to the greeks
His daughters were the bloodline of the Oricales of Delphi and Pythia. The Erinyes
What movies can compete with Conan for most kino score of all time?
2001
Black Rain or Interstellar
?si=WlEWF6wIG9bh5fpN
Literally none.
Screw your freedoms
Daily reminder Conan takes place in Mongolia: ancestral home of the rusanglogermcucks
Wrong. Asians come from Hyrkania.
Only the cool steppechad asians. The chinese ones come from Khitai
what goes on here?
Cannibalism mostly.
>Zembabwei
Fucking really?
This is Sauron/Saruman levels of retardation
what's even more retarded? Look at the names of the two cities in Zembabwei
That's where Zimbabwe is, dummies. Look at the whole map. That's Africa.
Where is Egypt? Didn't they visit it in the movie?
Stygia is the Egypt stand-in.
You mean indo-europeans. Mongols aped the whole steppe horse rider identity from whites that used to live there.
>whites
You mean Indians anon.
Scythians were based as hell.
>invent horsenagger tactics before other steppecunts were even born
>have a few women in your horsenagger packs and inspired the myth of the amazons
>be so cool that the Irish were we wuzzing them in the 11th century
This is also how REH connected Conan to Cimmeria despite being a proto-Celt
Scythians were trannies
That's an anatolian thing.
Oh really?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enaree
>The Enarei, singular Enaree, were Scythian androgynous/effeminate priests and shamanistic soothsayers who played an important role in the Scythian religion.
>The Anarya belonged to the most powerful Scythian aristocracy. They were born male, but wore women's clothing,[6] performed women's jobs, spoke like women,[9] and were believed by the Scythians to be inherently different from other males and that their androgyny was of divine origin; according to indigenous Scythian shamanic traditions, the Anarya were considered "transformed" shamans who changed their sex, which characterised them as being the most powerful shamans, due to which they inspired fear and were thus accordingly given special respect in Scythian society, and the Scythians ascribed their androgyny to a "female disease" causing sexual impotency.[7]
>endorse twink supremacy
>become badass horselords
Coincidence? Or divine blessing?
They were tranny freaks, no wonder they went extinct
Yes troon, really
>"During the 7th century BC, theScythiansexpanded into West Asia, during which time theScythian religionwas influenced by the religions of the peoples of theFertile Crescent. The Scythians believed that the androgyny of the Anarya originated during this period"
Oh and nice source homosexual
>Cassell's Encyclopedia of Queer Myth, Symbol, and Spirit: Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Lore
>"My lord, I caught this oriental trying to spread homosexualry"
Yes the Scythians were smol little trannies and as a result they went extinct
>"and the Scythians, where are they now?"
>"You're looking at em, asshole"
Incredibly based histchad BTFOing tranny-obsessed shitposter. Conan threads are always such a joy
>contain troons
>prosper
Hmmm
No I mean just indos. Rusanglogermcucks literally didn’t even exist in Europe in the BCs lmao
They did but they were known then as Han or Hun dynasty Mongols/Tartars
I watched this recently after being blown away by the first one, but man this sequel is a stinker
you know what I hate most about this one? the ending where the insanely beautiful virgin princess offers to marry him and make him king and he says "no I will win my own kingdom blah blah blah" and I'm just watching like, dude you saved her from sacrifice and killed a huge fucking monster I'm pretty sure that counts as you taking the kingdom, just fuck the hot girl and be a king.
Nope, Conan don’t share thrones with nobody, especially not some weak whiney teenager that can’t even pick up a sword. He’d just be Queens consort or something anyway. It wouldn’t be HIS.
he did her name her name was zenobia
To be fair to that anon, she is never actually seen on page as queen. At least not in REH's stories.
Why the fuck could I hear Bill burr's voice in my head when reading this comment
this
that shit ending was a subversive psyop to try and make men not want to fuck young white virgins
you can only suspend your disbelief so much
that ending was too much
no amount of social conditioning is gonna make young white virgin girls unattractive
Conan has a dozen young white virgins every morning. The man isn't guided by pussy.
which book does it say this?
when I tried to read his books I dropped it in the 1st one where in the first chapter he was simping for some old roastie whore
In almost every single REH Conan story he has some white hottie trying to slobber his knob. Many are royalty and most are stated to be virgins on top of that. Also I have no idea what book you're referring to.
Conan The Invincible
my books are arranged in chronological order
Well Conan the Invincible wasn't written by Robert E Howard so it's not even close to the first. Read the original short stories and form your opinion of Conan off of those. Everything else is secondary.
I prefer to read in chronological order of the main character
which REH book/story has Conan being at his youngest?
kek, always in writing order young nigga, chronological is for spergs
lmaoooooooooo
Red Sonja is a much better sequel in aesthetics, and it’s as close to a Conan story as you can legally get. But the story is a mess and the acting atrocious. If you can ignore it and focus on Schwarzenegger and the hot chick slaying on the steppe it’s worth swapping out for the Destroyer.
Yeah, Red Sonja was better than I have it credit for when I saw it as a kid, and is definitely a better movie than Destroyer. It's got its nutty moments but it still holds up.
Cool a swords & sandals thread. Hey, whoever were the two douchebag anons that said Conquest was a good movie: You were wrong. I started this post mean, but I can't let anymore of the suck that was that movie plague me with bitterness too. I'll never take a recommendation again.
nice try homosexual
sword and sorcery is not sword and sandels
how to achieve this mode?
Eat 10000 calories a day while taking high dose steroids and working out for 10 hours per day.
SIR YES SIR
i actually think the second Conan movie is better than the first
It was titled Conan the Destroyer because it destroyed the movie franchise
how and why
better use of the budget, more coherent story, a bit hollywood standardized yes but since i didnt worship the first movie anyway for me its whatever
Incorrect
overtheline.jpg
I don't mean this lightly but I genuinely think you should just give up on watching movies and just cobble together shoes for your own entertainment
each to their own, fair enough
here's your contrarian (You)
Donny, you're out of your element
When sequel with King Conan's bastard son trying to prove himself against Conan's shitty and devious true born sons?
what a weird mix of austrian and mexican genes
Honestly, i'd love to see it, but there's no one alive who could make a decent conan movie anymore.
Mutts are always way better and more hardy than purebreds. All those fucked up Kennedy genes ruined his other kids.
Bring on beanan.
Mutts are better in the sense that inevitably, pure-breds genetically bottleneck.
Before that bottlenecking though, they reach a certain level of gene excellence brought on by continual refinement. I think it's something like, every 7 generations, you should try and get new admixture. That doesn't mean from an entirely different race, just from a different locality. Like Austrians mixing with Poles, or Germans mixing with French. If you mix two VERY disparate races, like English and Aboriginal, you could get mutants.
Well a lot of beaners are mutants from all the aztek dna.
Mildred probably had enough euro DNA in her to bring her son back into chad territory once Arnie's genes got in there
That's false.
Mutts are in fact an example of genetic bottlenecking, it's a consolidation of genes.
The way to avoid bottlenecks is isolated populations speciating.
For evidence refer to South America, an entire continent of mutts that have through superhuman effort managed to lock themselves into obselescence for the next century.
Contrasted to the continent of Australia, populated by the societal rejects of Britain who through no effort at all created a country with one of the highest living standards in the world.
And the other brother
…causing the wayward legitimate son to step up and claim his throne as the true king.
You can see the Mexican genetics ruining the original's perfection
Before this thread dies I'd just like to give a PSA that the Conan movies are finally coming to 4K in a couple months so keep an eye out for it
>tfw you missed the re-screening last year
Lmao imagine getting knocked out by a fucking fish
You don't fuck around with arapaima's, they can very large and they have thick skulls. They basically throw their entire body at you when try and headbut anyone, making them quite lethal because they're all muscle.
That guy from the show River Monsters got permanent heart damage when one of them caved in his chest
kek look at its shape, they're like missiles
Mate. It’s a fish. I’d fuck it up.
>someone get him! While I just keep recording !
Kek the camera lady makes sure to get a good shot at least
>Hey kid, just keep pushing this wheel and soon enough you'll be super ripped. And then you'll never have to work out again either
You mean the movie lied?!
>tfw nobody forced you to push the Wheel of Pain as a kid until you were the last remaining slave and got totally fucking huge in the process
But what does the wheel do? What is the purpose? It doesn't even look like it crushes grain or anything
It's a punishment. It breaks people.
But... why?
To make better slaves? It's obviously to the death that's why one has a skelington still attached to it
Also it looks like he was pushing it for 16 odd years, the time to have several people watching/repairing the machine etc as well as his high protein diet just seems like a collosal waste of resources
Not him but you should read stories from the the OG author first, they're usually the best written. Also the Conan short stories were NEVER meant to be read in chrono order and they certainly were not constructed that way. You learn about different aspects through different stories and piece them together as the ideas were written. Then you can get a sense for how the story evolves and you aren't jumping back and forth between totally different qualities of stories.
Imagine reading HPL's At The Mountains of Madness then reading The White Ship. Huge whiplash.
I've heard it called a water pump for a mine
Are you blind? You can literally see the crushing stones rolling at 0:12
Its a mowing weel, served to make white plaster from limestone.
The behind the scenes content explains everything but if you pay attention and look at the structure you can even see the white "paint" being made as it turns.
If you ever think "what the fuck is this?" whilst watching this movie, i guarantee there is an anwser.
Why wouldn't they push on the outside for more leverage?
Nothing. There is no better film.
The greatest film ever made up there with the work of Heston in omega man and beh hur
if you like Beowulf
why hasn't anyone made a complete Conan collection of ebooks & audiobooks in one fucking torrent yet
jesus christ
>hancocknaggers poison pill forever ruined any discussion of possible lost history
grim
Almost like that was the point
Yeah. If you get a show on Netflix you are clearly a plant.
I believe in Gulliver's Travelgate.
Stargate is real and so is God's of Egypt. The Earth is flat. Abydos is the new world. Antediluvians are a eugenic miracles of humanity. Giants of intellect and size. We were their slaves and we overthrew them. They retreated to Americas. Their slaves overthrew them and then Daniel Jackson, I mean Columbus, found them just like in the movie.
Teohituahvan and pyramids are huge water computers. They provided computational power + automated sewage and irrigation.