BLESS MY SOUL HERC' WAS ON A ROLL, UNDEFEATED
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pic isn't from that song OP, you can't fool me
Such a catchy and creative song, I can't believe the music in this film was considered a weak point
This.
Given the string of home runs disney had been putting out and the obviously high expectations this movie was going to have, the creative decision to base the soundtrack on gospel music was nothing short of genius.
zero to hero is, by a huge margin, the best song of all the disney cartoon movie scores
Absolutely agree. I thought a black gospel group as the muses to narrate the story was really clever
Thats the part I can't stand.
The song is god tier and despite butchering his myth still manages to weave in the 12 labours
I've never heard that. It has some of the best songs in Disney.
>I WILL FIIIIIND MY WAY
>I WILL GO THE DISTANCE
>I DONT CARE HOW FAR
>SOMEHOW I'LL BE STRONG
It’s because the bulk of it is black church choir. They made a Greek dude white, and had a bunch of tone-deaf joggers braying about it. They couldn’t pick a lane and stick with it. Hercules is a train wreck.
>didn’t like the muses
What would your suggestion be? They’re probably easily one of the memorable parts of the movie.
Took a little getting used to and I know what they were going for with the god thing, and the Yiddish shit, but a bit of a jarring juxtaposition right out the gate.
Every song in this movie is 10/10, anyone saying theyre weak is probably parroting a YouTube reviewer
It was after a string of total bangers and the music felt like a call in to the snobs too dumb to get the call and response jokes it pulled from literal Hellenic period theatrical chorus. Brekkekkek kek.
I'm not a horsefricker
...But.
YOU'LL BE FRICKING DEAD
>he can tell you what's a grecian urn(earn)
They use that joke like three times. A little excessive.
they were hot
Chuck was so hot, Sneed was cool.
>oh god ivD08DAe killed people dear and close to me
Good
I have no idea why this movie attracts so much ire for not being accurate to the source, like that wasn't always the case with the disney animated films. Seriously, who gices a shit?
Ancient Greece attracts a lot of history autists because they were a culture that wrote so much shit down and people can 'ackchually' at any innacuracies.
By comparison no one gives a crap if Pocahontas talks to magic trees since American Indians were illiterate.
But this was a movie made for kids, why the hell adult autists were mad about it in the late 90s?
>why the hell adult autists were mad about it
Because of their autism?
Probably partially pushback from religious fricks I think. Also impressionist art style by Scarfe that was a still a little disturbing even after being Disneyfied and toned down from the original production design.
I do like how Disney was really getting into stylising their art for their movies. Not sure if I would have picked that guy for this movie, but it kinda worked more or less in the end.
People become Greek history/mythology nerds around 5th or 6th grade. I know I was and even though I liked Hercules a lot, I could "ackshually" the whole thing even though no one cared.
I was a greek mythology autist before I reached the age of 10.
This. It's obviously a combination and streamlining of Greek shit. I wasn't expecting Disney Hercules to go mad and kill Megara or anything.
Honestly it only bothered me that there wasn't enough fighting. As a kid I saw a dude in armour and with a sword and a huuuuuge let down. Too much homosexual singing.
Same. My wife is Greek (actually Greek, not some larping american) and she loves it.
the greeks aren't greek so that does not matter
WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE VEGAS!!!
why not
Cesar’s Palace exists in Vegas, Herc being an overworked celebrity draws parallels to Elvis’ final, overworked years in Vegas. Also just cuz.
people respect greek history much more than other stuff
I'm Greek and it's my favorite disney movie. Every one I know that saw it as a kid loved it too, we know it's not supposed to be accurate to the myth. In comparison I think that the Rock hercules and that other movie released in 2014 were total shit, we're used to Hollywood butchering Greek mythos.
?t=28
i wonder how greeks feel about having a great civilization over 2k years ago but kinda sucking ass now
They don't really care, it's beautiful, about 10 feet from the sun but not as hot as it was during the warm period, and the only difference in quality of life for most of them is they have wifi.
i'm pissed that the western world left them behind to get conquered by turks
There's a lot of history behind it. For once as beneficial as Byzantium's position was it was an absolute pain in the ass to maintain peace and borders. After the religious schism of 1054 and the Black folk of europe that was the 4th crusade it was a matter of time until the rest of Europe left Byzantium to die and let fricking muzzies maintain the status quo in the middle east. Literal brother war shit
yep makes me sad. there was a study recently showing that the longer an area was controlled by the ottoman empire, the worse their current day outcomes. i don't think the balkans would be on the level of western europe, but i wonder how they'd have turned out if not for the turks. there were numerous times in the 1800s/1900s that europe could have retaken constantinople but they were more interested in fighting with other great powers.
Sucks major ass. A lot of us are in a perpetual state of we wuzing in order to cope. Thankfully I'm one of the few that also likes the current culture almost as much as Ancient Greece. But in terms of our economy and general job market situation I'm as butt blasted as every young adult in Greece
I quite enjoy your exports. There's something about appropriately themed cretan stomp boxes that makes them better than the alternatives.
Has there ever been properly explained why Hades doesn't have a villain song?
James Woods is too based for songs.
I can't believe how much of the original cast was in this cartoon
i love james woods so much it's unreal
I hear he ad libbed the "Frick this" line in Scary Movie 2(?) and by delivery alone it's the funniest thing in the movie.
Jeremy Irons is very very based and the song his character sings is the best one from its movie
Jaffar didn't either.
He got half a song with his villainous rendition of Prince Ali.
Best reprise ever.
Ahem:
Also the one from the sequel:
incredibly based song by the way
>WHY I BELIEVE IT'S SNEED
>His personality flaws
>Give me adequate cause
>To send him packing on a one-way trip
>'til his phosphates take a terminal tip!
>His assets frozen!
>The venue chosen,
>IS THE ENDS OF THE EARTH
>WHIPPEEEE
Man this has always been my favorite Disney movie, lion king was cool but this honestly hit different, i was surprised when i learned that it wasnt as succesful as the lion king comercially.
Lion King is garbage. The only interesting thing about it is the African colour palette and style. Otherwise it's gay as AIDS.
I couldn't stand it. I remember it vividly as the first Disney cartoon I outright disliked. And that whole Elton John bullshit around that time made me want to cut my ears off.
I recommend Confused Matthew's (original) review if you haven't seen it, (he cucked out on his later reviews). You're not crazy and neither am I. Everyone else is - and they're homosexuals.
>Disliking Circle of Life & Be Prepared
man how nostalgic. i watched his shit like 10 years ago. i think he makes some good points about the lion king. it was my favorite disney movie but now i get irritated by some things in it.
I think it plays well with kids for some reason, I guess that it has animals, but I was annoyed by the exact same shit, especially how he turns into a vegetable for half the movie that bears no relationship to the child character. That film is such an overblown, three-ring homosexual circus, goes-nowhere-does-nothing, non-sensical nothingburger to me. And this is coming from someone who watch the Jap Anime 'Kimba the White Lion' when he was a kid, (that Disney totally ripped off - google that if you want to see some shit). That wasn't that great either, but more interesting than this pile of meaningless elephant dung.
>And this is coming from someone who watch the Jap Anime 'Kimba the White Lion' when he was a kid, (that Disney totally ripped off - google that if you want to see some shit)
debunked:
>2 and a half hours
How about a 5min or less video you fricking insufferable zoomer homosexual?
The irony of calling someone a zoomer while requesting all information be condensed down to the length of a tiktok because you've grown up terminally online lol
>implying anyone but zoomers watch these 2+ hour "reviews" of shit due to their eceleb obsessions
t. all media must be condensed into a tiktok for him to consume it
Listened to a bunch of that on double speed. While some of the gays he's talking about might have gotten out over their skis on this, it sounds like he's doing the same shit he's criticising, except instead of overinflating similarities, he's overinflating differences, while beating his chest about 'muh original research!' So not particularly convincing case he's making either.
No way Disney wouldn't know about Kimba. Highly likely they lifted the concept and/or some ideas and shit intentionally or otherwise.
Just saved y'all two and a half hours.
>y'all
If only your post meant jack shit after this
What did it take him, like three fricking years to make this pile of shit? Nobody cares about your furry porn, Adum, you degenerate homosexual.
I'm old enough to remember Kimba. And yes, Disney did indeed develop sticky fingers around that old show, no question.
ha! yeah I had a feeling I wasn't alone, even with the ridiculous hype the movie seemed to achieve.
I tried watching this, got halfway through, and shut it off. The reviewer seems genuinely autistic and does not seem to understand how family dynamics or the minds of little kids work.
>I listened to this review again and I dont know why people call it antagonistic
>anyway, Lion King is a bad movie. A shitty fricking movie. A really bad stinky stupid shitty fricking movie with no redeemable qualities and should be ignored forever and ever.
Okay so we've established that this lad has autism at least.
>first complaint he has is "Simba is a child and behaves like a child"
>proceeds to come up with a plot in his head where there's a second son who's already kingly and requires zero development, zero drama, zero hooks, zero intrigue, zero motivations, he just becomes King and it's all good
>he thinks this is a better plot than a child learning to become a man and take care of others and be responsible
Holy frick. I don't think I can watch beyond this. This lad is really, REALLY fricking stupid.
i remember when this homosexual used to spam his early videos on Cinemaphile every day
Really? I liked his videos, but the guy turned out to be a bit of a homosexual IRL, banned me from his comments back in the day, and claimed he had some kind of anxious disorder or some shit to explain acting like a homosexual. As if uploading videos like that and people agreeing/disagreeing/arguing about it is some big fricking deal that needs to be taken seriously. Claimed he didn't want fame or attention, so if he was spamming shit on Cinemaphile that would be hypocritical and hilarious. Turned into a real cuck who backed down on his original opinions, not sure why, probably because it offended homosexuals and trannies or some shit.
Holy shit, does this guy seriously spend the first 6 minutes on a retrospective on his entire YouTube Channel and fan responses to controversial opinions? WTF why? Is the whole video going to be this moronic?
Sorry should have timestamped the real beginning it's in the description about 6 minute mark, you can skip it. Just Youtuber self-important homosexualry.
LK is for creepy soibois.
Anthro erotica enjoyer here, LKgays are down in the bottom of the hierarchy by all metrics.
I honestly didn't know Elton John could get any gayer until I heard this song. It's like the audio equivalent of a bag of dicks marinated in AIDS and Kikkoman.
was this the first disney film with nigs and CGI?
yeah but WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE VEGAS
BECAUSE VEGAS LOOKS LIKE GREECE
So the live action Disney Hercules movie is coming soon if shills have started spamming with these threads
That image is from One Last Hope (the best song in the movie)
for me it's Megara
Stop just shilling on this board. God can’t you guys get a better job?
Shills would never bring up the cartoon movie anon, since the cartoon movie will always be so much better than any of that horrific, watery shit they call the live movies.
There are so many good songs in this movie
Top 3 Disney song right there.
I listen to the 1:57 - 2:01 part on loop
I hate israelites, I hate women and I hate Americans, yet the moment I hear that israeli Brooklyn or whatever accent I want a woman like that for my gf. Frick you, Disney, I can see what you are doing. Don't stop, please.
>meg will never gently dom you and put her feet on your face
Why even live? But all japes aside, I love that fricking accent, like holy shit.
I work with a lawyer who’s a dead ringer for Meg. The voice, the build, the vamp, everything. She’s a stage actor on the side. Loves kids, none of her own though. I’ve never met her husband, but the man must be a gigachad to have locked that down.
>Loves kids, none of her own though.
Dumb femoid getting wrecked lmao, all she has to do is have her hubby frick her that's all it takes.
Never knew the story behind it, and never asked. All I know is she fawns all over my son whenever I bring him along (he’s seven). She’s a divorce lawyer, so that might have soured his disposition towards kids of her own though.
;_;
I love the design of this character, especially how her hair doesn't make any three-dimensional sense. Egan was perfect voice casting too.
Frick I love this song.
my wife
I'm not tearing up. You're tearing up!
Best henchmen ever.
However https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9olKqywifHo
Too bad hercules didnt do as well, i preferred mulan and Pocahontas over this
Mulan had its moments, but that movie about Senator Warren's ancestors bored me to tears.
I liked Pocahontas, but mostly just because each and every song clicked for me. The plot was pretty generic but
>SAVAGES SAVAGES BARELY EVEN HUMAN
It was a fun movie and provided a lot of memes. Bummer when I found out later that like at least 80% of it was complete bogus. Starting form the name "Hercules" which is the romanized version of the original Greek name "Heracles".
Hair ankles sounds pretty stupid in comparison
>Starting form the name "Hercules" which is the romanized version of the original Greek name "Heracles".
which means that it's not bogus you moron
The movie is about the ancient Greek myth and being set in ancient Greece. Rome was non-existant during Heracles' time. So they shouldn't have used the romanized name. Are you an idiot on purpose?
A U T I S M
U
T
I
S
M
No argument. Learn how to banter and how to reply seriously.
I am lightened up. But when A is A and I correct him about that and then he calls me a moron without offering any arguments, then I will call him an idiot too.
>westernized
Westernization has nothing to do with it. Westernization happened on the backs of Greco-Roman achievements and foundations. Most of Europe belongs to the West.
>stop losing your shit
Where did I lose my shit mouthbreather? Look at my original post. Pointing out the mythologically and culturally wrong stuff about the movie doesn't stop me from having fun with it. Did I fricked your childhood or something big baby?
>Westernization has nothing to do with it
>Westernization has nothing to do with it
>Westernization has nothing to do with it
>hercule-aid
>air-hercs
>three gospel singers as muses
my wording was wrong, actually meant "americanized", but that doesn't change my point. my point is that you expecting a cartoon aimed at children to be an accurate adaptation of greek myth makes you a moron.
A D A P T A T I O N
Lighten the frick up dude.
it's about a westernized and child-friendly version of a greek and not a faithful adaptation of the source material. phil was neither a satyr nor was he voiced by devito. hades is not anywhere else depicted as having fire for hair that changes color depending on his mood. shut the frick up you fricking moron and stop losing your shit over whether a cartoon is accurate or not.
>it's about a westernized and child-friendly version of a greek
myth
I think you mean the original Hellenes name, which is the actual name for the culture the Romans called the Greeks. I'm typically somewhat autistic about historical movies but in this case it's clearly a cartoon taking a setting and doing its own thing with it so I don't mind. People getting mad at Hera being nice or the movie meant for children not ending with Herc massacring his family are over the line in terms of autismo.
But I'm not mad at the movie. Do I believe it's Americanized? Yes. Do I believe that it could have been more accurate and still fun? Yes. But I can still watch it just fine if it needs be.
I didn't/don't expect it. I said "I found out later" as in, an adult. Read the fricking original posts before you cram in a reply chain.
I merely made a notice and observation. You homosexuals try to bring WW3 into this just for casually doing that.
>But I'm not mad at the movie.
Not saying that you are, but complaining about the character being named Hercules rather than Heracles is more than a little nit-picky. Outside of the Greeks and history nerds everyone knows the character as Hercules, so it makes sense for the movie to call him that. What you're doing is the equivalent of complaining that the Beast from Beauty and the Beast isn't name la Bete because that's what he's called in the French tale.
Well it's more about the name, like....the movie for example straight up either swapped labors of his with that of other heroes or straight up didn't include them. Not even in the quick montages. Not all 12 labors are depicted. That's very basic for the story of the guy, don't you think? It's like half the reason he was popular.
Is it a fun movie about children/young teenagers? It is. But it's not a good movie to learn about the man himself or the gods and titans. Not even a little. And I thought that old Disney movies had also an educational character, hadn't they? Or does this education end up only in "do the right thing, be a hero" generic message?
I still think you could have had a more accurate story (without depicting the dark stuff) and it would still be fun.
Hello Aladdin my name al billshar the science guy. Did you know that magic doesn’t actually exist?
>he doesn't know that magic is real
ngmi
There is nothing intended to be educational about old Disney films, they are purely meant for entertainment and any educational benefits are incidental. When making The Lion King they didn't think 'we should depict hyenas and lions as opponents so that children can realize they often compete for food irl' they thought 'haha lions don't like hyenas, wouldn't it be fun if they represented a rival faction in universe?'. The Little Mermaid didn't end with her eternally sad that she'll never get back to her ocean home and stuck with painful legs, it ended with her happy and married to a prince because it was entertainment for small girls.
Do you mean Ἡρακλῆς?
Good catch sperg. Now do Jason and the Argonauts.
Only missing a villain song
But it has one
For me, it's The Gospel Truth: https://youtu.be/RRq7lLawQB4
WHO PUTS THE troony IN MODERATOR
WHO'S COPE AND SEETHE MAKES GREAT THEATER
JANNY homosexual
I was agreeing with you and riffing from the song you fricking moron
ARE YOU GAY?
>nobody gayer
WHAT ABOUT SWEET?
>gays' favorite flavor!
for
Make way.
Turns out Michael Bolton is a major cinephile
You complete me.
>I'll be there someday, I can go the distance
>I will find my way if I can be strong
>I know every mile would be worth my while
>When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong
Kino. We'll all get there one day, bros.
>But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
>For a hero's strength is measured by his heart
>this thread
Leave it to Cinemaphile to derail a simple thread into autistic shitflinging. Is this how you spend your time? Life's too short to be angry.
>Heracles
>Hercules
Cinemaphile I think you mean HUNKULES
Based Hunkulespilled anons.
The last good movie Disney made.
Objectively Tarzan
Subjectively Brother Bear
I cannot agree with the objectivity of that because the original Disney version of the story blows it out of the water. As such, while an enjoyable movie, it also gave me recycled vibes.
>little poo in a loo child being molested by nunerous older animals while they sing their own shitty songs
Vs
>son of a sick tree house building sailor chad grows up to fight pirates, frick a smoking hot babe and kill the jaguar that slaughtered his family
>phil collins sings his songs for him
> Phil Collins.
At least we know you are legitimately gay.
Seethe all you want but Jesus knows him and he knows Phil's right.
I don't take TV Evangelicals, Phil Collins fans or people who don't poo in the loo seriously. Sorry, sweaty.
>Tarzan
I hate that muh buy Phil Collins got divorce raped.
No this was the start of disney animation going down under.
Nah they already did that.
Underrated post
Better than the original
It's the cutoff. The line in the sand, beyond which there be troons. Quality plummeted after this and everything changed, but Herc is a seriously great cartoon. A high, followed by a bottomless, yawning pit of hell.
homie, Tarzan came after Hercules...
And it wasn't particularly great. What's your point?
Yes it was. Not even just the music either it had great scenes. I liked Jane, she might be the best Disney love interest, I mean Meg from Hercules is great too.
The leopard battle.
Clayton just being the man.
Curjack accepting Tarzan as his son.
And I liked those black baptists, good friends from a more civilized age.
Not feeling it, bro. My impression of it that I have is one of overriding genericness. I tell you what, though, I'll give it another watch. I haven't seen it since release. I don't hate it as such, it just felt... soulless. But you started me thinking about it. I'll give it another shot.
Enjoy some of the most goreous backdrops aswell
I got in the mood to watch some Disney rifling through this thread. That it transports me to the stars the way Hunkules did is unlikely, but I'm bound to have a decent time revisiting it.
BOOBY DOOP
SHOOBY WHOOP
>gorilla gets ONE musical number
>it's jazz-influenced and revolved around the gorillas just going around breaking shit
what did they mean by this
Well of the more chaotic musical styles available for such a scene, jazz makes the most sense. Doubt they were gonna throw in a punk song.
Rosie is certainly more punk than jazz.
About the same time Disney were tripping over themselves to prematurely abandon 2D animation. Meaning a lot of the oldgays who knew what they were doing would have left been replaced by Apple-using metrosex homosexuals and trannies. That would also explain why it was totally premature and absolute too. Probably a power play by the incoming homosexuals who wanted an excuse to get rid of racist, sexist, old huwhite men. Now look at the fricking mess Disney is.
Did the hydra scene scare anyone else as a kid? Frick that was nightmare fuel
Scared the shit out of me kek. This is definitely a film best watched as a young boy.
beautiful
frick the haters
>GET UP ON THE HYDRA'S BACK
THE GAAAAAMES
I'm shocked to hear that. Saw it as an adult and wasn't crazy about the look of the hydra and obviously computer generated didn't help. Traditionally it's depicted as more serpentine, which I think is scarier personally. One of Scarfe's out there designs that didn't work for me.
Yeah I always thought it looked like an ugly dumb beast and not "cool" enough.
The cuts to Phill losing his shit on the sideline kinda helped cut the tension until Hercules actually got eaten. Lost my shit when he cut his way out, edgiest thing I’d ever seen at that age. Shit was so hype.
>dives off 100 foot cliff
>reaches hand up and somehow grabs onto same cliff he just jumped from
I hope somebody got fired for that blunder.
he also reaches into the river despite there being a huge drop-off, in the same scene.
Yeah, I'm convinced something was cut in that scene and they added little clip where pool level lowers very quickly, leaving that continuity issue, and the deal he made and immediately reneged on. I saw that and I'm like wait wat? I'm sure they just counted on people not noticing, but still bothers me to this day.
I always took it as his super strength and godhood returned to him so he literally scaled it with his bare hands
He probably scaled the side...
>blond hercules
why are they so desperate to be Romans and Greeks?
Probably the best example of how to inject black people into something they wouldn't historically be a part of without detracting from the story. They made a positive contribution to the enjoyment of the film and elevated it.
das rite
>tips menora
Agreed, had the same thoughts on my latest watch the other day.
The Vegas in Greece part really helped them to fit in seamlessly.
You already have a movie that’s obviously taking liberties for a theme, so a further extension of both doesn’t clash in the slightest.
It was very cleverly done
>The Vegas in Greece part really helped them to fit in seamlessly.
That isn't a thing. It's just Greece.
Most of the other gods were blue and purple and red and shit, so it's clearly not supposed to be realistic to how the ancient Greeks thought of their deities.
HUNKULES?
I thought they were hot
Absolutely true. Even the fat chick was cool. Everyone remembers the line.
4 5 1 2 3
even this framing makes you sound like a fricking homosexual. who gives a frick about injecting Black folk into everything? fricking christ shut up. shut the frick up
They weren't doing it with everything back then so it wasn't a problem. And to be fair, they've always been a very musical people. That was kind of their bag, like basketball.
well to be fair they've always been overrepresented relative to their ability but sure it wasn't egregious.
>See, the secret is, it's not actually what you are with most sane people, it's what you do.
and the problem with blacks is that what they do is disproportionately violent. and they're disproportionately stupid so by pure merit it's harder for them to make it into entertainment media. which is why they need people like you to justify them being injected into everything. in fact even opposition to their being injected into everything requires that they be injected into everything, hence your pathetic framing. they need your affirmative action. what you said basically translates to "see the discriminatory affirmative action actually worked out well here". which is fine but just own up to what's actually happening instead of using your reddit euphemisms.
A jumbled word salad really isn't going to make your delusional fantasy gain any traction, homegirl. There are no free rides in this world. And outside the US there is racism and poverty the likes of which you could not even begin to comprehend unless you witnessed it yourself. And you know what the American ghetto set does about it? Nothing. Instead, they help themselves to the very same benefits that wypeepo do. You are no better. You do not deserve special status. If you want the good things in life, earn them. Acting like the hoodrats we are all too familiar with gets you nothing but contempt. That's reality which no amount of 0.1 mental gymastics fresh out of the asylum is going to change at any stage of life. Which is why the muses are such a breath of fresh air. It is a representation that isn't rooted in gibs me dat. It is rooted in the possibilities superimposing soul culture was able to achieve with ancient Greek myth. It's better than fricking mumble rap.
>A jumbled word salad
you say this but then you respond with the most weird irrelevant shit i've ever seen which indicates you didn't even read my post and kinda cements to me that you're some delusional redditor ideologue type.
>And outside the US there is racism and poverty
uh ok sure. what does that have to do with anything?
>And you know what the American ghetto set does about it?
what are you even talking about?
>You are no better.
actually statistically i am. when it comes to traits that people value anyway. but what does that have to do with my post? i didn't make any points about me being superior.
>You do not deserve special status.
agreed?
>Acting like the hoodrats we are all too familiar with gets you nothing but contempt.
...sure? oh are you implying i'm black or something? i'm definitely not.
>Which is why the muses are such a breath of fresh air. It is a representation that isn't rooted in gibs me dat
it is rooted in that though. they are affirmative action hires. blacks would be far less represented without that mindset. you can say that you enjoyed this particular instance of affirmative action and that's fine (i thought it was entertaining too) but you don't have to lie about what it is.
Jumble away, homie, but that's a mess. Do better.
i accept your concession schizo redditor
And there it is. It only took a single line for you to drop the act. Like I said; do better.
dude what in the frick are you talking about you are seriously unhinged.
A lack of cognitive ability isn't doing better. It is the opposite.
type another paragraph full of schizo ramblings
> schizo ramblings
Pic related. You are really bad at this.
i guess attempting to address a schizo post line by line was almost schizo of me. but luckily you conceded and here we are
It's people like you why we have racial epithets. See, the secret is, it's not actually what you are with most sane people, it's what you do. Three guesses what you are acting like. Hint: starts with an N.
I recently watched the TV Series for the first time.
Well, they look mixed. They don't look full Black. Which funnily enough is no longer acceptable to the woke crowd. They just casually accept the Racism of the Black Community, which discriminates against Mulattas and Quadroons. I wouldn't complain, if we got to see more Chocolate Bunnies, who basically look like beautiful white women with darker skin. Instead we get ugly Blacks with Afros.
>put stupidly sexy ass brown women in the film
>heavily imply they want white wiener
>it's good
gee I wonder why everyone liked it
Don't get the whole 'sexy' thing here, but I definitely thought the singing Muses as a narrative tool was clever, appropriate, and didn't care that they were Black folk. I do like that they gave them distinct personalities and appearance based on Greek myths, (often not the case so much with this kind of thing). I don't think they use their names, but I'd bet my last drachma they had that shit all figured out behind the scenes, and kind of a pity they wouldn't have had time to do more with that.
My boy
My little Hercules
>lightning bolts?
>Helmets?
>tridents?
>you want them, they’re yours, my friend! Just so long as you have enough Cyclopes!
>
Why wouldn't he have a chin under his beard?
Why else would anyone grow a beard?
I can't believe I didn't catch that, "Call IX, I, I!" gag the first time. Kek'd when I got it though.
"We like cuddling! Muscles are disgusting! We don’t like men who are obsessed with the gym! We want to look better than the man!” they would say.
At this point, I started getting annoyed with their behavior, and asked them the following question:
“What type of man are you looking for?”
They paused for a second, and replied “Well, obviously a nice guy that’s going to treat us with respect, and who can communicate in a way that does not offend us.”
At this moment, I had a big smirk on my face, knowing damn well that what I was about to say next would cause them to flip out.
“So then why do you cheat on your boyfriends for butthole guys like me?” I exclaimed.
They were silent for a few seconds, and then suddenly went full b***h mode.
“You’re such an butthole, Hercules! You don’t talk to a lady like that! Go frick yourself! You don’t know what a woman likes!” they screamed.
Of course, their words didn’t faze me.
I just sat there in a calm and collected fashion, as I sipped on my cool glass of Hercule-ade
After about 5 minutes of them ranting at me, I cut them off and said “So when are we fricking? Next Tuesday or next Saturday?”
They quickly glanced at each other, as their eyes and mouths widened.
“What did you just say???” they barked.
“You heard me. Are we fricking next Tuesday or next Saturday?”
Interestingly enough, they started giggling and eventually began playing my game.
They would say things like “You are so bold! You are so bad! You are something else!”
Just as expected, they were coming on to me.
my 8th grade teacher told me that people in Greece hated this movie and burned shit in the theater while it played
I'm amazed at how much we were attacked by insane white guilt creeps in school who took away my toys or cards or kept you in from recess or got you in trouble, it was literally because you were a little white kid. You think all this shit started with the Dont Say Gay bill? These creeps have been around for awhile.
I love this movie, but my biggest problems with it are:
1. He made a deal that if he could get Meg out he would stay in Hades. He got her out, and then he didn't. Did becoming a god give him the right to break his word? Not very heroic and seemed unnecessary. Not the last time a Disney hero has done something like that either, but this was the first.
2. Zeus and all Olympus can't defeat the Titans, but Hercules arrives and frees Zeus, and then he suddenly does, single-handedly.
3. Poor little me I have the strength of a god and keep breaking shit, sucks to be me fake victimhood and unlikely ostracization by peers.
Favourite line, "There are worse things [than death]". Very true, but pretty hardcore message to lay on kids when you think about it. Based.
>He got her out, and then he didn't. Did becoming a god give him the right to break his word?
He became a god because he became a true hero by sacrificing himself selflessly to save Meg.
>Zeus and all Olympus can't defeat the Titans, but Hercules arrives and frees Zeus, and then he suddenly does, single-handedly.
The only who did some damage was Zeus and was very minor, the rest was Hercules doing. I think the appearance of Hercules boosted their morales and scared the Titans.
>Poor little me I have the strength of a god and keep breaking shit, sucks to be me fake victimhood and unlikely ostracization by peers.
Whats fake about it? Hercules was untrained at the time and doesnt have confidence yet.
>He became a god because he became a true hero by sacrificing himself selflessly to save Meg.
I know that dumbass. That's the part they're counting on distracting you so you forget he just made a deal with Hades to stay in the underworld, "The son of my hated rival trapped forever in a river of death", there's literally no downside to this. According to the deal if he gets her out, he stays, and she goes.
?t=22
I don't understand your issue. You're complaining that he renegged on a deal made in bad faith with a villain?
Since when does a 'True Hero' go back on his word? He doesn't even address it, everyone just seems to forget about it.
Heroes win playing by the rules of truth, justice, and the Grecian way, even when the bad guys play dirty. That's what makes them the good guy.
What if when he made the first deal for his strength, he just decided to change his mind and said, "Nah I've got it back now", before the conditions weren't broken by Megara being injured. That would be just as wtf? stupid. What was 'fair' or not 'bad faith' about that deal?
Maybe you could argue that now he's a god it doesn't apply because ... well ... that doesn't even really work. And if you were going that route you'd need to address it.
Imagine Jesus or Superman pulling some shit like that, which he's an obvious parallel to.
>Since when does a 'True Hero' go back on his word?
All the fricking time? Especially when dealing with a villain who reveals the deal was rigged IMMEDIATELY. Is this literally your first film?
Not how it works.
?t=64
And anyway, why do the deal at all? Why not just dive in and save her without doing the deal? What did it change? Frick Hades.
See:
You braindead autistic moron.
Omg can you just kys already?
Don't you have souls to take care of, Hades?
>Deal is "You get me, she gets to live"
>Hades agrees
>Herc jumps in
>Hades instantly, literally 1 second after Herc jumps, reveals that he plans to keep both of them for eternity, which nullifies the deal
>Herc doesn't keep up his end after Hades didn't keep up his end
This isn't complicated in the slightest. Do you have a disability?
No, he says 'IF' you get her out.
Since he's jumping into a river of death he doesn't expect that to go well for him, but that's Hercules' problem.
To be very clear, you're the most moronic person I've ever seen post on Cinemaphile. Like, more moronic than the guy who needed to write a notebook to talk himself through ordering pizzas.
>lost
You dont even understand basic English lol
>seething and dilating
I accept your concession.
Everyone here disagrees with you.
Then 'everyone here' is stupid like (You) and needs to rewatch it carefully. Great ad populum homosexual argument to make because you're losing based on the facts though.
Seethe harder homosexual.
Your concession was enough.
Your concession to being a dilating troony is appreciated too.
>the autistic fella who doesn't understand basic social interaction is obsessed with trannies
clockwork lol
Are you still seething homosexual? Wow, you really are buttblasted aren't you?
You've been mentally broken by a children's cartoon lol kiss a girl lad
>lost so hard it's painful to watch and now you're drowning in a pool of your own seethe
That's the point. Hades was being a shifty israelite and got punished for it. If he had just grabbed meg for him, he would have won.
Yeah he was a god now how was Hades gonna even keep him there without being to age him in that sludge.
How is Eve Teschmacher going to 'make' Superman stop the missile headed for her shitty little hometown instead of stopping the other one that's going to hit the San Andreas fault line and drop Lois, Jimmy, and the whole of California into the Pacific Ocean?
Though to be fair, that last part would be an easy arguement to make these days.
>The son of my hated rival trapped forever in a river of death", there's literally no downside to this
But there was a downside. It was Hades fault for not knowing Hercules may or may not attain his godhood when he tried to rescue Meg.
Hades very, very obviously made that deal in bad faith. Any mortal would have died in The whirlpool the only reason Herc got her was because he was a Demi god and he had tremendous willpower from being in love with her. When hades sets up a deal like that and leaves out a crucial detail like you’ll never actually be able to complete your end because of this caveat, and then only tells him after he’s already jumped in I think it’s fair for Herc to not keep his end of the bargain either.
Not how deals/contracts work.
Yes, people who use weasely wordplay to try to frick you over in bad faith deals are villains and you don't have to respect them.
That is EXPLICITLY how contracts work. If someone agrees to work for money and you don't give them money, they don't have to keep working for you. How autistic and sheltered are you? Have you ever kissed a woman?
Meant for:
obviously
Tell that to Judge Judy when you wind up on her show reading the exact wording of the contract to you and tells you what a fricking idiot you are.
You've embarrassed yourself thoroughly today autist
I think this is the most heterosexual of the 90s Disney musicals.
>And hey, two thumbs way way up for our moderating team, what a "job", what a ban
>my favorite part of the thread
>pruned or deleted
My mom always hated this movie when I was a kid. She would always say it had a disgusting animation style.
Lol I remember the “I’m a meat and potatoes kind of guy.” plate
I had Alladin plates
I loved happy meal toys. You could pour water in the cup and look at it with the scope up close.
would lick the jasmine and muses plates clean all day to be honest
Still got the Meg plate somewhere
Think this was a McDonald's promotion
Still have the Hercules one
James Woods is pretty good, shame all he does is shitpost on twitter.
He's one of the only good things about the later Kingdom Hearts games, I like how committed he is to the character.
I find his love for his character kinda endearing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHA4xh8sLKU
>Political party
>Republican (2015–present)[1]
uhhh... based?
While 90%+ of Hollywood is leftist for whatever reason there's a small but dedicated group of cranky old white male Republicans there that used to get steady work (less so nowadays though with how divisive politics has gotten). Kelsey Grammer also fits the bill.
Even though that’s true, I also think he sabotaged his own career by :
1) not trying to branch out from his traditional sleazeball typecasting
2) not giving a shit about his career (he prefers playing poker nowadays)
3) being a Vincent Gallo-tier douchebag
...which is a shame, cause Videodrome, Once Upon A Time In America, Another Day In Paradise and The Virgin Suicides wouldn’t have been the same without him. Gifted but nutty.
He’s an awkward autistic sperg and probably a virgin too.
James is definitely /ourguy/.
>Hades in KH4 trailer meaning Disney is forced to keep James around for another game at least
based
They were obviously trying to cast another Robin Williams fast-talking Genie character. They could have done a lot worse, (like Will Smith). Woods performance is totally underrated, as is the whole cast and the creativity generally on this film.
James Woods has a 180+ iq and a 9 inch penis
So did Hades ever get out of the Toilet of Souls?
I had no idea that there was a Hercules cartoon show before this thread but seeing as there is and Hades is in it then I'd assume it's canonical that he does.
The Hercules cartoon is set during Phil training Hercules.
>He raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan the undeeeeeeeeeeerworld
Hades’ lair is so metal
kino
That's because Gerald Scarfe's impressionistic style is so mental. Not exactly the first guy who comes to mind when you think Disney film - that's the mental part:
Shit, I didn't know Scarfe had a hand in this
You couldn't tell? Even toned down by Disney artists there's no mistaking his bizarre shit. Still comes through, and I hate it where it does too much. Probably not a bad idea to use him as a concept artist to get some new ideas, but letting that much of his style seep through was a mistake if you ask me. That's why the background Olympus gods in particular look so distorted and downright fricking bizarre.
That's what made it stand out from the generic Disney look, and is a fundamental part of the movie's kino nature.
Actually hadn't seen that first video before. Lol'ing at Disneygays telling him they need to "simplify" his ugly, messy shit in pacifying way. Well this is great Gerald BUT ...
Kek. I mean I never knew that happened for a 'fact' before, but obviously that's what happened, so funny to actually see it.
Translation: Come to my aid my personal army.
Good luck with that homosexual.
seethe
i got one of my first boners when i watched this as a kid
am i a closeted homosexual? I've never kissed a man, but never had a proper gf either
What gave you the boner?
>What gave you the boner?
hercules stronk, his muscles i guess...
i guess i wanted to grow up and be alpha like him
it never happened though
This here probably gave a healthy feet appreciation as a kid
Best Disney villain
Simple as
Big call, but arguably true.
Did not read the whole thread to see if someone already posted this
> The fat one with the most soulsister voice of the group is actually a israelite.
lmao
looks black to me
We know who it is mate. We know she's black or at least mixed.
What did he mean by this?
Are you trying to claim this woman isn't at least part black? You yanks are absolutely warped when it comes to race.
Yeah, right. Weird. She looks totally different in the mockup. The chick's from Detroit and everything. That one definitely goes to you.
Ha. Far out. That's pretty damn cool actually.
A good thing about Black folk when it comes to music you can wind them up and let them run and they can actually come out with some good shit when they're not doing that moronic thug Black person rap.
>how do i draw up this elaboriate routine with these funky soul sisters
>lets just film them in full garb and look at that
is referencing the secret to art and animation
If it works it works
I can go the distance is the best Disney song of all time followed by
>hellfire
>ready as I’ll ever be
>friends on the other side
>no herculad references yet
come on Cinemaphile
honey you mean FRICKules
So a live action version is inevitable at this point. Who should be cast to play characters ideally, but also what is the worst you're actually expecting?
James Woods could do Hades, but expecting Will Smith with CGI hair on fire.
Don't know is best for Hercules, but expecting Dave Bautista or some shit like that.
You can practically guarantee that Zendayada will be Megara because CURRENT YEAR and diversity and shit.
Expecting either Picard-level decrepit Danny DeVito or that fricking dwarf Dinklage homosexual that's in everything now in a stupid costume with oversized horns.
BUT THEN ALONG CAME (YOU)
AND YOU LOOKED SO STUPID AND GAY
Is it bad my favorite character was Pegasus?
HEGA HEGA YA-HI-YE-HEGA
YA-HI-YE-NE-HE HEGA
HEGA HEGA YA-HI-YE-HEGA
YA-HI-YE-NE-HE HEGA
>Native American civil rights leaders at the time
this is one of the most respectful, accurate Hollywood depictions of Native life and philosophy
>white people in [current year]
uhhhh, actually, no
honestly it's just a fantastic song with a great message of spirituality, respect for the earth and knowing your place in the circle of life. i get it's all very "noble savage" but i can't help wishing to spend a day in pre-contact north america when i hear this song.
Yeah, I hear you, bro.
Circle of life is gay. We did not develop to stagnate. We developed to ascend. Imagine ending the grand design because you're a dumb homosexual.
>you must rape the earth to death in order to produce more product and then consume product
thanks for your contribution chang, very nuanced
CONSUME AND BE CONSUMED b***h.
RAPE AND BE RAPED.
THAT IS THE GAME AND THOSE ARE THE RULES.
THE RAPE TRAIN ACCELERATES. IT DOES NOT CRUISE.
Megara leaked nudes.