Borderlands

They managed to put every actor I don't like into one movie at once

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Wait... what?
    This is some delayed april fools or something?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        aggressively bad casting. why is lilith so fricking old and roland so fricking short?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Hollywood is in dire straits with finances
        >Hire an all-star cast for a random action flick
        >Based on a video game franchise that last time was successful a decade ago
        What the frick is going on here?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >that last time was successful a decade ago
          borderlands 3 was the only game that ever sold decently despite being on the epic games store

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >It's another episode of people confusing copies sold with end profit
            Do you have ANY fricking idea how much money they've put into marketing campaign? B3 would have to sell almost additional 3 million copies to just break even, not to mention being profitable in any meaningful way.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Except that's not true. Both short- and long-term, 2 outsold 3 by a frickhuge margin. Premiere sales were well below expectations for 3, and long term, they were expecting to at least get 25 million copies sold. To this day, they barely got 20. And that includes two rounds of being a free give-away

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Ok, true talk
        How much would you need to be paid to actually go to the theater and watch this.
        Im assuming its a 2 hour ordeal between the trip to and from the theater and the movie.
        About 15€ an hour.
        If somebody offered me 30€ to go watch this i might give it some thought

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >30€
          Plus snacks and I'd consider it.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >30€
          Plus snacks and I'd consider it.

          20 + snacks because I have nothing better to do and there is AC in the cinema. If there are booing Black folk 50+

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Depressing

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Yep I'm thinking it's Time for some snark and 4th wall breaking

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >mourinho at fenerbahce
    >Kate blanchett in borderlands

    Who is the most washed?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Given Blanchett was top tier in Tar recently, it's not her.

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >literally Plebbit, Guardians-tier slop
    >doesn't have my waifu Ashly Burch as Tina
    yeah, that's gonna be a SKIP for me, dawg

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Ashly Burch
      I love her voice.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        She may be woke, have a cuck brother, and have grey hair now. But she's still my eternal waifu.
        I wish I could have married her and had 3-4 kids.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah, she may be other things, but gosh, her work is really good and I do love her voice.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          No, instead some moron druggie married her, and OD’d on drugs. Such a fricking waste

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          genuinely makes me want to rip my eardrums off whenever she talks in tf2 AND I CANT TURN IT OFF

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I love hawp and this is the best one

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why the frick are they so old?!

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    lol I said the exact same thing when I head about this. Worst casting of all time.

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Who's going to watch this?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Normalgays. Every day I see an ad for something, and I say to myself "who would be interested in this?" Then I remember, normalgays. They watch capeshit, and they watch things like this as well.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Do they though? Are normalgays so sold on Borderlands as an IP that they go put of their way to watch it? This just feels like a project that's a day late and a dollar short, it should have been rushed out the door in like 2013 instead of coming out now, when interest in the IP is probably at or near its all time low

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Borderlands is a B/C tier gaming IP.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            It’s become that, yes, and this movie is just the homosexualy headstone erected over the homosexualy grave of what was once a great game before Anthony “frick my wife and send the me the videos” Burch fricked it up.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          This, really screwed up pushing out a movie so late

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Yeah, it was super popular for a few years after BL2, don't know anyone who cares about it now though.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Furiosa proves you wrong. More and more people are fed up with Hollywood.
        Biggest successes lately have relied on Monkie, Big Monkie, and Godzillas

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Every character is like 30 years older than they should be.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      well then they cast well, then

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    this turd desperately needed some younger, hotter b***hes if it were ever to have a chance

    >from the producer of Uncharted, Spider-Man, and Venom

    It's dead Jim, just shit can it and write it off.

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What the frick do you have against Florian Munteanu you butthole

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    more like Olderland!

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >meant to be an adaptation of the first game
    >doesn't have Brick or Mordecai

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >No Mordecai
      No ticket.
      Yeah. Another movie that throws yhe sorce material into a blender / paper shredder.

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'm no writer but i hope they have a segment where they constantly farm a boss for a specific legendary. Then it drops, someone explains why this weapon is great, in full detail. Then realize that it's parts are off and not perfect. Tossing the weapon back into the floor. Claptrap says whatever and takes the weapon anyway.

    On the next area, they meet more tougher enemies, the team goes into fight for your life while claptrap is dispatching the enemies with relative ease. Claptrap goes into fight for your life but instantly gets out of it, almost like a flash due to the weapon. Claptrap spends the rest of the time getting everyone out of fight for your life, gloating causing physical and mental pain to the cast and the audience.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Cool blog, homosexual, majorly epic gamer moment you frickin moron

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why did they cast so many grannies?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Because we're all hagmaxxing now

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    An old, terribly mid game is getting an awful movie?!?!
    KINO

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Female lead, black male sidekick, two other women team members, short one has a "mines bigger tee hee" line. White male always has face covered with mask.

    Ok

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >We are reaching the point where zoomers are too young to remember Borderlands

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Never played the original borderlands because it looks boring as shit after playing borderlands 2

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Plot twist: they aren't adopting either, just picking bits and pieces from all over the place

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    subverting expectations by making claptrap the only good thing about the flick

  18. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    For a Black person, Kevin Hart isn't bad.

  19. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's going to be hilarious when this outgrosses Furiosa. I strongly suspect this is going to be Venom 2.0

  20. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    this looks fricking putrid. can’t wait for it to bomb.

  21. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >from the producer of Uncharted
    That’s not a vote of confidence. When has that movie ever really been talked about apart from how badly the botched the source material and how miscast it was.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Still better than Slopman and Gaynom.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >That’s not a vote of confidence.
      As if "Venom" was, lmao

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Uncharted made 400 million dollars. Venom made 850 million dollars.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      the source material isn't exactly high art
      it was already a stretch using straying from source material as a problem with capeshit let alone if the next trend is video games

  22. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Suicide Squad comes closest for me. I loathe almost everyone in that except Polka Dot Man.

  23. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    She looks like a female version of Emil Minty (I just rewatched Road warrior today)

  24. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'm still surprised Cate Blanchett agreed to be in this movie. Not saying it will be be bad in advance, just that's weird seeing her there.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >I'm still surprised Cate Blanchett agreed to be in this movie
      Were you born yesterday?
      I wonder how big part of the budget is her salary. It probably won't beat the record Lawrence earned with No Hard Feelings (25 mil +% from tickets on a 45 mil total budget)

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Maybe her son/nephew/whatever asked her to do it like for the MCU. Same thing happened to Robert Redford. Its probably a nice, easy paycheck for her.

  25. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    what a bizarre collection of characters to pick. why tf krieg out of anyone? why not techno punk girl?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      my guess, execs saw they put tinas name on a dlc so she must be popular, google her and besides massive amounts of porn see that people talk about krieg being her dad. they put that in the movie cause they think it will make them money

      the whole movie just screams higher up built through google searches

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Not that the lore matters in this movie one iota but Tina's parents were killed by bandits

  26. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why are they so intent on destroying every once popular video game franchise, it's so bizarre, does it have to do with people that didn't like the video games using cinema as a way of giving the IP a black eye
    absolutely subversive

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Its proven to be very hard to corrupt vidya as fully as they did with other mediuma they probably are trying to do it indirectly through adaptations.

  27. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Me in the middle with Ariana Greenblat s..siting on my shoulders

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Ariana Greenblat
      just looked her up. she looks like a chimp but hey whatever tickles your pickle

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I question your orientation Anon.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >3x6 pixels
          homie what is that, seriously

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Three pixels is enough to get the point across.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >here is that sweet 16 year old ive been hearing about

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          She bought?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Imagine the cushion

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >you feel something wet on your neck

  28. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Isn't Kevin Hart rich beyond his wildest dreams, can't he frick off at this point, he's been shitting up media for more than a decade now

  29. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Directed by Eli Roth
    >Budget already estimated at 100-120 mil

  30. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    why are all of the women in this movie like 90 years old?

  31. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Kevin Hart as Roland
    How can someone be miscast so hard?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      tgey didnt have any authoritative tough black guys in hollywood apparently

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Unfunny comedian as a straight man with impeccable comedic timing and delivery to actually make him funny
      Perfect casting actually.

  32. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Don't know anything about Borderlands but isn't this entire cast way too old?

  33. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    more like olderlands

  34. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What were they thinking when casting these grannies?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      it's boomerlands now

  35. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    WHY IS EVERYONE SO FRICKING OLD

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Because Hollywood is still thinking in terms "if we put 50 million on salaries of actors that people know by name, and put those names on the posters, then we are going to make bank".
      Consult Goose recent flop on how it works in practice.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        yeah, hollywood always had a younger generation of actors coming through but since they have switched to propping up ugly mutts in lead roles the last few decades, there is hardly a face that commands any star power anymore under the age of 50

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Nah, they fricked up by late 00s, when they were trying to make a bunch of nobodies and literal (male) lingerie models into actors, because they had the "generic, conventionally attractive white dude" that were so completely interchangeable and so fricking devoid of anything resembling talent, people were constantly mixing them up. Then the marvel craze happened, so for a whole decade the same handful of actors was in every movie, and almost every movie was a capeshit. End result: nobody to do the generational change.
          But yeah, Cate Blanchett as Lilith is just beyond fricking weird. Doesn't matter how good she looks, she's 55 playing character half her age.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            They did try to get that other Twilight guy over, same with an actor named Josh something that I'm blanking on. That post writers strike era of Hollywood was bizarre in retrospect. I remember a lot of VIDEO GAMES ARE SURPASSING MOVIES!11! shit going on, just because things were getting so dire.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Considering what sort of drivel Hollywood was making, since there was nobody but interns to write their scripts, it wasn't really that hard to see why vidya was taking over.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                But hell now look at video games.
                Games with a decent story are few and games with a decent story and game play even fewer.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Which still makes them more numerous than decent movies, so... yeah. It's all fricked up

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            One thing I noticed is between the mid 2000s to late 2010s almost every action or comedy starring a younger male character was almost always israeli. On occasion a non israeli white guy would slip through but it would usually be the only thing they ever starred in and almost always with a israeli boy of similar age to costar with.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >All the uncles in the management giving their nephews a chance in the film industry
              Shocking and unexpected!

  36. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Woah woah woah what do you have against Blanchet and Lee Curtis?

  37. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Let me guess with all vidya IPs its gonna piss off the fanbase but the movie is committee optimized for normies

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Anon, I don't think anything is capable of pissing Borderlands fandom more than B3, which was 5 years ago and people are still fricking furious

  38. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >goofing on somebody for not liking an actress is "trolling"

  39. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    pov: you have contracts with four stars and no movies to put them in

  40. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >an Eli Roth joint
    >a Sony Pictures film
    >starring a bunch of people I hate
    >based on a reddit video game
    It's like a full bingo card of my personal film repellants.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      From what I've heard Eli Roth tried to NOPE out of the picture years ago but apparently Sony or someone has him by the balls contractually.

  41. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    How hard is it gonna flop?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Depends entirely on how much they plan to waste on marketing. They've already wasted 110+ mil making this piece of shit, so it would already have to earn back at the very lears 350 mil to be profitable. If they spend more than 50 mil on marketing (which is likely), they will have to earn half a billion.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Considering the actors involved Jack, Kevin, and Jamie are advertising machines I could easily see them racking up between 80 and 100 mil in marketing

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Then congrats, the movie either earns 600 mil, or it will be a net loss.
          Which is impossible to happen, so the question is how far from that number they are going to be

          >that last time was successful a decade ago
          borderlands 3 was the only game that ever sold decently despite being on the epic games store

          Borderlands 3 was a monumental flop that put a whole lot of heads on the chopping block.

  42. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Is the Borderlands continuity aging in real time and that's why they had to cast all these old folks?

  43. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    That little munchkin mexican played Jenna Ortega's kid sister on stuck in the middle I never thought i'd see her again. I guess theyre trying to strike gold twice.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      She used to be so hot. All of the other chicks on that show were hotter than Ortega. She was worst girl on her own show

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No she played Jennas little sister with the messy hair. She's only 16 now in Borderlands the show was 8 years ago.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Yes

  44. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I don't even think this movie is aimed at people who heard of the game. What rated is it though pg-13? Probably be a big hit.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      We literally don't know. Part of the reason why Eli Roth spend two fricking years attempting to get out of the project was the insistence to make it PG-13

  45. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Randy does it again

  46. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >They managed to put every actor I don't like into one movie at once
    Will Ferrel, Jonah Hill and Seth Rogan are in it?

  47. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >cate Blanchett
    >age 55
    >Jamie Lee Curtis
    >age 65
    >Kevin Hart
    >height 5'2
    fricking why? and why make tiny Tina a central character?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      ... because anything tied to Tiny Tina sold twice as many copies as other DLCs

  48. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    10 years too late.
    And I get the feeling that this movie will be overloaded with "quips" especially from the robot

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Oh yeah the entire dialogue will be one-liners.

  49. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    snooping as usual

    mods/jannies are pedos

  50. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >the poster has three side characters on it instead of Brick and Mordecai
    Why?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Because the movie has 3 side characters and not Brick or Mordecai.

  51. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    why would they eli roth to direct a boderlands movie?

  52. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    they hopped on the wrong bandwagon

  53. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The funny thing is it might've had a fighting chance if they picked age appropriate actors and the normal claptrap (or at least not jack black).

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