Casper Van Dien

Why was he not a megastar in the 90s? He mogged the hell out of prime Alain Delon and prime Tom Cruise.

Mike Stoklasa's Worst Fan Shirt $21.68

CRIME Shirt $21.68

Mike Stoklasa's Worst Fan Shirt $21.68

  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    *rmy D*g got him banned in Hollywood and even some southeast asian countries.

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    he can't even act. good looks is but a fraction of star power

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      No sense of mystery + can't convey feelings (let alone thoughts) onscreen

      He can definitely act. Check out Partners or The Pact.

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Unironically he is too attractive. It crosses into the uncanny valley where he doesn't look like a real human. His features look like they were made in lab

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Dude mogged every big name Hollywood pushed.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Looks like a cartoon character.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      probably something to this
      dude looks like a butch hartman character come to life

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yep, this is the reason he was cast in Starship Troopers. His fricking face was a joke.

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Not everyone who watches movies is a homosexual

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    No sense of mystery + can't convey feelings (let alone thoughts) onscreen

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      He was great being a cool, unhinged guy in Assailant a few years ago even. he’s got it when they give him the right script.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        well then there's your answer
        they were making the movies they wanted to make instead of movies that maybe can make some homosexual do a decent job
        and that's why he wasn't a megastar in the 90s

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Tarzan bombed and Starship Troopers underperformed.

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Hey, just found out he played Patrick Bateman in a deleted scene from The Rules of Attraction.

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I used to work for his agent so I've met him in normal contexts/spoken to him on the phone. He's a really nice guy

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      That’s good to hear

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      He really is super cool. He has a great commentary with Richard Elfman on Modern Vampires [which is great film if you love camp]

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Probably would've gone farther with less jaw.

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Looks isn't everything

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    you have teh ghey

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Refused to suck israeli co k

  13. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Because he isn’t a good actor.

  14. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I unironically jerked off to him turning into a werewolf one night when I was drunk.
    I'm not even gay..

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      How do you ironically jerk off to something?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Trust me you don’t want to know

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      breed me pls

      you just have a shapeshifting kink, not gay at all

  15. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Ran into him in Vegas once. He's a manlet. He's listed as 5'10" but IRL he's lucky if he's pushing 5'8".

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Any male in hollywood you can comfortably take two inches off their listed height.

      >phoneposter
      You're way gayer than that anon

      Are you smoking dope? Mobile browsing mode on Cinemaphile doesn't have the checkbox. There is no auto-shit iPhone filename either, what is making you think that post is a phoneposter?

      >Being passive aggressive like a woman

      Yep homosexual confirmed

      >double linebreak after greentext
      Yeah you're a homosexual.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >what is making you think that post is a phoneposter?
        He's likely a newbie. Some anon probably made fun of him for being a phoneposter but he didn't know how said anon could tell and is trying to recycle an insult that worked on him.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >He's likely a newbie
          Been here since 2020 cum guzzler, not even remotely new

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            >there are people posting right now who unironically believe this

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              >2020
              >not even remotely new
              Lol, not even an election tourist.

              4 years is a pretty long time teebeeaiche

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Lurk moar

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Make me

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            >2020
            >not even remotely new
            Lol, not even an election tourist.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        I like him.

        Because you're soo special and know better than everyone else? That's really sad anon. I wouldn't want to be you

        >I wouldn't want to be you
        Fortunate because you can't

  16. 2 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >phoneposter
      You're way gayer than that anon

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Let me familiarize you with a little friend called Yotsuba B; The web default board theme, mong.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Being passive aggressive like a woman

          Yep homosexual confirmed

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            You really think I have what it takes to make it as a woman?

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              Nah at best you'll just be a guy wearing a dress who sane people can point and laugh at. Cut out the middleman bro

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                I never did care for sane people.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Because you're soo special and know better than everyone else? That's really sad anon. I wouldn't want to be you

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >bro
                kys unironically

  17. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Probably said the wrong thing to the wrong people at some point or didn't let a fat guy frick him in the ass.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >didn't let a fat guy frick him in the ass.
      Why wouldn't you just do it? I mean you've come so far, just go that last extra mile. I would let Harvey droop his weird balls on my forehead for a respectable career. Gotta break a few eggs and all that.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        because then you can watch movies laughing at all the losers who got fricked in the ass to be put into the equivalent of an overly produced youtube video.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          I'll take it over the 9 to 5. I'll let bankers piss in my cereal every morning to avoid work.

  18. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    He married actress Catherine Oxenberg (dynasty actress, and minor European royal with massive trust fund). He basically joined the elite party circuit where he didn’t need to work. It all fell apart when she got involved NXIVM and she introduced her daughter (Casper’s step daughter) to Keith Rainiere and the girl got deeply involved in the cult.

  19. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Probably refused to take it in the ass or suck wiener for the disgusting israelite homosexuals in ~~*Hollywood*~~.

  20. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Too attractive for Hollywood.

  21. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    just look at his performance in starship troopers, hes more wooden than a tree stump.
    and while this pretty much works very well for the movie, it isnt really something to build a career in acting on.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Ryan Gosling did. What do you think is the most israeli wieners he has had inside of him at one time, exactly?

  22. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    He looks like a shitty c-list tv actor. Doesn't have that blockbuster look

  23. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Can't act

  24. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    He probably doesn't have any kind of status within the business, given that his daughter (the cheerleader from Stranger Things who gets pretzel'd) got producers to tell her that she had to suck their dick for roles.

  25. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    All I know about him is that he played in Starship Troopers and has a cute (if arguably batshit insane) daughter.

  26. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    He didn't take the gay israelite casting couch path

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *