>character throws object off camera
>glass breaks
>cat shrieks
>car crashes
>hubcap falls off car
>character throws object off camera. >glass breaks. >cat shrieks. >car crashes. >hubcap falls off car
>character throws object off camera
>glass breaks
>cat shrieks
>car crashes
>hubcap falls off car
Yup, that's how you know you're watching a kino.
>character falls off a cliff
>character holds up a sign that says uh oh while falling
No, that's not kino
The character has got to walk off the cliff, not fall, then pulls out a sign that says ut oh
(Then they fall)
>character walks into the street
>multiple cars collide with their soft body
>character's body ragdolls around the screen
>body parts and blood everywhere
>passersby scream and panic
perfect kino
>woman fire a gun
>tells male character she can look after herself
not seeing many female names noted in the history of gunmaking, the invention and mass production of the revolver, or even in shooting competitions to demonstrate competency with said guns
>she can look after herself
using a tool that men created. that's just men taking care of her with extra steps
>"Know how to use one of these?"
>woman makes impossible shot
>"I think I can manage..."
>men make guns to negate biological advantages in combat
>get mad because it also makes women able to kill them
Sooo why'd you invent guns if you didn't want women to have them? Make up your mind
they can have all the guns they want, but whenever they use a gun to protect themselves, thats a man protecting them
Ok, I don't think any woman ever denied that men invented firearms. So you can rest assured that women shooting men with their own invention give you full credit as a sensitive man who needs constant validation.
male character she can look after herself
"Damn lady, where did you learn to look after yourself?"
"I had three older brothers." / "My dad taught me everything he knew."
EVERY. FRICKING. TIME.
>woman displays a modicum of competency with any aspect of anything/does literally anything useful
"I had brothers.", "My dad raised me", "Growing up I was just like one of the boys"
Yes, exactly my point.
A really fricking absurd example is the first Lara Croft adaptations with Angelina Jolie. Zoomers don't know this anymore, but the OG first-generation Classic Lara despised her parents and her worldview and lifestyle clashed with theirs, and in many aspects she was a self-made woman. But Hollywood literally cannot compute this shit, so in the movie adaptation she got her interest in archaeology and all that shit from her Dad - who, again, literally fricking disowned her in the original game lore exactly for all this shit. And then, the next videogame reboots (Legend and then TR2013) really really doubled down on this concept of Lara learning everything she knows from her father and having colossal Daddy issues.
>Voice says something in support of main character off-screen
>Turns out its local guy with shotgun
>character falls down/gets hurt in an explicitly violent way
>gets up and says "i'm okay! everything is okay!"
>maybe gets hurt again after saying this
final destination kino when the guy barely escaped the burning apartment through the chaotic fire escape and then after a breath sigh of relief, is impaled through the eye socket ..excellent kino timing
>Character drowns
>*glub glub glub glub* and bubbles
hahaha sick kino, i like when they float to the surface face first afterwards
Yeah and they do it spread eagle
>hilarity ensues
>*ba dum tss*
>camera pans to reveal guy sitting by drum set
>dog covers eyes with paws
>>guy yells AYYYY IM WALKIN HEAH
>In English, Doc!
>Group of men hit by something and fall down
>bowling pin collision noises
> good guy chases bad guy through the city
> bad guy aggressively pushes people aside and makes them fall and spill their groceries ruins their day
> good guy runs through the mostly cleared path after the bad guy and occasionally does fancy parkour moves without harming anyone
the opening of casino royale parkour chase kinda subverts this
> horse gets spooked by something
> the same exact fricking stock sound
>Character discards an object and throws it onto the ground
>It creates a small explosion
Name 7 films in which this scenario occurs verbatim
Beethoven 2, Beethoven 3, Beethoven 4, Beethoven 5, Beethoven 6, Beethoven 7, Beethoven 8.
Wow they've been pretty generous with the Beethoven films
There's also Tremors 7.
rip burt
>cat dies
>how did you guys get in here so fast?
>what do you mean? The front door was unlocked