>comic Zeus
>gigachad who beat the frick out World Breaker Hulk to teach him a lesson
>MCU Zeus
>cowardly fat frick comedy jobber
Why does David Cohen hate Zeus and why did he turn all of the gods into petty, moronic buttholes?
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petty, moronic buttholes is actually on brand for them tho.
>Why does David Cohen hate Zeus and why did he turn all of the gods into petty, moronic buttholes?
so myth accurate portrayal?
Savage Hulk would have stomped Zeus' ass into oblivion.
Savage Hulk isn't even street level.
That's Batgod, though.
thats green scar (the strongest hulk version) in op's pic.
and he wasn't fighting back, he wanted zeus to kill him so he could act as a sacrifice to save his friends.
but zeus didn't give a frick and kept beating his ass instead of killing him
> he wasn't fighting back
Holy cope.
he wasn't fighting back full force, he gave a few hits and a lot of taunts. but he wanted zeus to kill him, but zeus refused to play ball and just kept beating him up.
You forgot the part where Zeus limited his own divine magic and only fought Hulk in hand to hand. Zeus could have vaporized Banner with a thought.
why didn't he vaporize thanos
He doesn't give a shit about Thanos. Odin slapped Thanos around once, though.
I always felt like Infinity War had a subtext of "Thanos was afraid to start shit until Odin, Hela and The Ancient One were dead"
Hela would certainly have slapped Thanos' shit considering how easily she broke Mjolnir.
as long as asgard was intact and around. hela specialy is she was on it was pretty much unbeatable.
thanos (no glove) could have had his ship(s) bombard the shit out of it from orbit.
WTF Hulk got raped?
Who is that woman?
that is umar, the younger sister of dormammu.
and hulk loved it so much, that banner could not change back into hulk form for several days
Wait a second, that infamous comic reaction face is Bruce Banner? I always thought that was Max Lord.
Umar. Dormamu's hot sister.
Savage hulk didn't get raped, they both enjoyed it. but he only lasted 6 minutes with her.
green scar/world breaker on the other hand fricked her for several days in a row 24/7 (while an angry pissed off betty in her red she-hulk form was outside the castle having to hear the moans)
>Conan reference
nice
proffesor hulk got raped once, by a slave girl send by maestro
>raped
Nah, it looks like Hulk smashed
Hulk got raped TWICE? Where's the feminist outrage?
kek
>Why does David Cohen hate Zeus
>Why
>does
>David Cohen
>hate
>Zeus
This is going to be a tough nut to crack boys. We may never even get an answer for it.
looks like they were going for Jason and the Argonauts zeus
It's "authentic" to real Zeus.
But real Zeus was both a petty, moronic butthole and powerful enough to beat the frick out of whoever he wanted.
i doubt marvel showed how zeus realy was.
I mean they make like 4 orgy jokes
Not quite. Mythos Zeus never really abused mortals and he was most definitely not cowardly. All the myths treat Zeus as the head god he was, not as a clown.
>Mythos Zeus never really abused mortals
What about Io?
As much as I disagree with paganism, the reason for making him a fat frick comedy jobber is dunking on the patriarchy.
I think they probably just couldn't convince Russel Crowe to give enough of a shit to lose some weight.
Could've cast anyone else.
They should have cast Arnold. He already played Hercules. He would have come full circle.
>From Mr Olympia to king of Olimpus
>Brofists Thor
>They defeat Gorr with the power of Tren
>Frick a miriad of latinas to celebrate
>The whole universe bows to their true gods
HOLY KINO
>Frick a miriad of latinas to celebrate
I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed Arnold's love for taco pussy throughout his career.
this is a children's movie OP
And it was shit.
I don't think it's meant to be, considering they talk about orgies in it. It's a manchildrens movie, sure, but it's not for kids, or at least i hope no one is taking their kids to watch this shit.
>It's a manchildrens movie
franchise*
>Comic Herc: 6'6" chad
>Movie Herc: 5'10" israelite
many such cases
>this comedy movie had a comedic zeus in it because THE JOOS HATE ZEUS!1!!!
huh?
I thought this was supposed to be an action-adventure series?
uh oh moron
The top one sucks. It's overly dramatic and the dialogue sounds like some moron trying to write what he thinks Shakespeare sounds like.
Bottom is just inoffensively mediocre and thus an improvement over literal shit, but that's a bar so low it's gone to the center of the Earth.
>that's a bar so low it's gone to the center of the Earth
I feel like this is what happened to modern action films
the character is dumb anyway. marvel is truly reaching the bottom of the barrel. they teased Hercules as anyone would actually care about the character
Hercules is a fun goofball, but Taika's Thor basically stole Hercules' personality, so idk what they're gonna do with him.
Actor has negative charisma from what I've seen. It's gonna bomb.
they tried serious thor in the 2nd movie. and people didn't like it.
Storm X Thor is the patrician's ship
yeah, people don't like comedy moron Thor either. IW Thor was the best version.
Well now know Storm is into asphyxiation. Ironic given the whole claustrophobia thing.
I think he sucked the lightning power right out of her mouth
>since against the son of Zeus I would ne'er e'en consider such a stratagem
>kisses her
Um, homophobic much?
are you moronic
>they tried serious thor in the 2nd movie. and people didn't like it.
THIS IS REVISIONIST HORSESHIT.
THOR 2 WAS DISLIKED BECAUSE OF THE FORCED COMEDY FROM KAT DENNINGS & OTHER HUMANS IN THE FINAL BATTLE PLUS THE FILM HAD THE WORST MCU VILLAN, IT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT BEING SERIOUS BECAUSE IT FRICKING WASN'T WHEN IT NEEDED TO BE FRICKER.
this, I'm old enough to remember this, Kat Dennings is cancer
She is a fricking sex goddess but they crowbarred her & her boyfriend into the final battle for no fricking reason.
What's wrong with Maliketh?
>Hercules comes through
>Funnier
>Stronger
>More appealing to women
>basically the same character, but better
>uh oh thor has to prove himself
>screaming goats
>roll credits
There is your next film
>Hercules comes through
>Funnier
>Stronger
>More appealing to women
Lol. This guy is playing him.
Yea that doesnt matter. He looks foreign enough to be the next MCU sex symbol. The steroid muscles are for the guys anyway, girls are not into bulk anymore. If you think this has a happy ending, you havent been paying attention.
>He looks foreign enough to be the next MCU sex symbol.
He looks ugly as frick.
>the steroid muscles are for the guys anyway, girls are not into bulk anymore.
This is "men love my curves" tier cope, mate.
Looks like she's grossed out by his muscles
Ah yes, women famously gasp and smile when they're grossed out.
>The steroid muscles are for the guys anyway, girls are not into bulk anymore
is it going to be CGI muscles? the guy looks fricking tiny
Have you watched the movie? good is tiny and has a thin frame compared to Thor, looks nothing liker Herc even if he's just there for a few seconds. He doesn't even have his hair
>goldstein
let me guess, they "found" him in a bar mitzvah?
it's fricking roy kent!
>that israelite face
>that israelite name
Can’t make this shit up.
"Gods, I was strong then."
Since beating up Hulk, Zeus has been.... coasting.
>why does a israelite shit on whypipos God's?
Gee I don't know. Lets go ask that child molester Jesus huh?
People like you shouldn't be allowed to open their filthy mouths. Can't wait for blasphemy laws to come back.
>d-dont talk shit about my freemason god
You're days are numbered pedophile!
Lmao. Cope harder, LARPagan.
Read again.
>blasphemy laws
>against mythological pagan gods
Scandi detected
Still, if you parody them at least do it with class. This complete and utter degree of respectlessness isn't healthy, even towards pagan gods.
old time gods were petty, moronic buttholes
with t'challa being dead. movie version can finaly ship thor and storm when they finally add the x-men to the mcu
jews will always seethe and hate the old pagan gods which killed their fake israeli god.
he died crying.
and now the israelites are dying from covid like the rest of us
>jews will always seethe and hate the old pagan gods which killed their fake israeli god.
Lmao. LARPagans are even more delusional than trannies.
It was the Christian god who was crucified by pagans, not the israeli one.
Correct, the jealous, vengeful creature of the old testament (moloch/baal) had his worship outlawed by pagans so the other anon is correct too.
>why did he turn all of the gods into petty, moronic buttholes?
Have you read any Greek myths? Like any, ever? Any single one?
Zeus was petty but he was also powerful. And he was never fricking fat.
MCU Zeus isn't shown as weak, just cowardly and selfish.
>And he was never fricking fat.
What about that time he was a bull?
>MCU Zeus isn't shown as weak
Thor beat him with one hit.
>What about that time he was a bull?
Bulls are jacked as frick, dude.
Thor is busted and could probably kill Thanos in a straight fight at this point. He also did so using Zeus' own weapon.
Thor couldn't even beat Gorr 1v1.
So what?
So, he's definitely not beating Thanos. He couldn't beat Thanos with Mjolnir and Stormbreaker and Steve and Iron Man's help in Endgame.
The Thor in Endgame was the weakest he'd ever been. The Thor in L&T is the strongest he's ever been, stronger than the Infinity War Thor who could have oneshot Thanos. It's almost like Gorr's weapon is super effective against gods or something!
>The Thor in Endgame was the weakest he'd ever been.
Based on what, gaining a few pounds? That's irrelevant for a being that has Hulk level strength.
>Infinity War Thor who could have oneshot Thanos.
Lol he simply caught Thanos off guard.
He didn't gain a few pounds. He was obese as frick. Even if his raw physical strength didn't take a big hit. His endurance, agility, speed and fighting ability were all at an all time low.
Dude, he can survive exposure to a neutron star for an extended period of time. Gaining weight wouldn't affect his godly endurance in anyway.
Why is Jesus on the power-levels chart?
Who's the woman in the 'Heavyweights' class? Is that Titania's old costume?
Finally who's the guy between Daredevil and Hawkeye in the bottom panel?
>Why is Jesus on the power-levels chart?
Wundarr the Aquarian.
>Who's the woman in the 'Heavyweights' class? Is that Titania's old costume?
Thundra.
>Wundarr the Aquarian
He's a Superman pastiche, not a Jesus reference, Odd, given his look and his pacifism.
>Finally who's the guy between Daredevil and Hawkeye in the bottom panel
Sounds like you'd better buy more Marvel™ Comics!
wonder if mcu will use umar, and who will they cast.
you must be 18 to post here
how much will they frick up Hercules?
They will never allow Hulk to be Hulk in the movies.
Hulk is a shitty character, so thank frick for that.
because he said he wants to destroy all pre-existing lore and plots and just do his own thing. It's pretty well known, even his wiener-sleeve tessa thompson says it
because the fricking globohomosexual israelites at disney all despise any display of authentic masculinity it's why they raped thors character and why everything they make is always trash
wait wasn't russel crowe Zerus in "immortals" already?
or was that mandaelaeded?