Yeah no, frick that. I definately feel a sense of primal fear by looking at that image. Crazy how even after all these years of Rex being gone, they still strike fear into people.
how are people scared of this? That shit looks goofy as frick. His bro is playing dead while he's nibbling on his tail. A couple of pranksters if u ask me.
Idk these fricks look even more smug
they got into our environment because people bought them as pets but threw them away, now you see these homies sunning on a piece of wood in the wild
>pure fricking muscle
they literally store fat in their tail, a croc with a fat tail is a well fed croc. Its also why that's the part that people like to eat
Crocodile >cool >sleek >biggest reptile >kills people like they aren't shit
Alligaytor >looks like a moron >I could probably body slam it >Amerimutt >Probably takes it up the bum
I love our native alligators
Something fun about living in a place where any body of water you can't see the bottom of probably has a dinosaur death machine in it
That's not a crocodile, that's a gharial.
In this image
Tail update.
it is to the alligator what the alligator is to the crocodile.
The jaws are made for eating fish, not pussy. Although they make a scary noise they are useless attacking anything else but fish.
t. watched microsoft encarta animals 95 too much as a kid
i'm trying to figure out if the crocgay in the bottom left actually took off his crocbros claw with that deathroll... it's hard to tell but i think he did?????? crocsisters how shall we recover
He seems more likable and real than a lot of the other "I wanna be Steve Irwin" guys. But he doesn't have the commercials behind him so I'm sure he's just being called an idiot.
I was almost sure it was the same guy as with this brilliant plan to catching rabbits with snakes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wynx1ukwdVA
Nah, turns out the land just breeds these maniacs.
it was all a dream, his imagination, a vision of his death, and he walked away only to find out death has other plans. soon the cheetah finds his final destination
NOW EVERYBODY BLAMED HIS OLD MAN FOR MAKIN HIM MEAN AS A SNAKE
WHEN AMOS MOSES WAS BOY HIS DADDY WOULD USE HIM FOR ALLIGATOR BAIT
TIE A ROPE AROUND HIS WAIST AN CHUCK HIM IN THE SWAMP
ABOUT FORTY FIVE MINUTES SOUTHEAST OF TIPPEDAUEX LOUISIANA LIVED A CAT CALLED DOC MILLSAP AN HIS PRETTY WIFE HANNAH
WELL THE RAISED UP A SON THAT COULD EAT UP HIS WEIGHT IN GROCERIES
NAME HIM AFTER A MAN OF THE CLOTH CALL HIM AMOS MOSES
THROW DOWN ON EM AMOS!!
based Jerry frickin reed
I want to see the crocs eat them so bad
Why do people mess with nature i don't get it
Go out in their dumb loud boats and gas guzzlers to just annoy local wildlife and leave trash around. Humans are so obnoxious just like seeing them get eaten
is there any worse fate animal-death wise than being killed by a croc? think about it... they'd twist your limbs, grinding and shattering your bones, and just tear your body apart. i think about this too often but I've thought this could even be worse than the more horrible cases of envenoming like necrotic bite wounds from certain spiders.
they commonly deathroll once they have their jaws locked onto their prey though, so they could twist and grind your body or limbs while you're underwater, you'd be inhaling air while your bones get splintered and crushed...
depends on how small the croc is, if like in that webm above of the guy who gets his hand bitten they'll deathroll the whole arm of rather then drown you. but if its big enough to grab your torso it'll just drown you, maybe shake you to break your neck and limbs.
Probably a bear or lion or tiger starting to eat you, ass first, while you watch.
But that, or a croc attack, you'll bleed out fast and lose consciousness fast. You'll just...go to sleep...while they eat your ass and guts.
Better to get it over with as soon as possible, instead of lingering in agony for hours or days from venom.
Being attacked and eaten by a pack of baboons.
They will tear the easiest parts off first and eat you alive.
No big cat neck crunch mercy, no drowning like the croc that's over pretty quick.
Apparently bears will bite off your arms and legs before properly beginning to eat you if you are unlucky enough to survive the initial attack that would probably be worse
Being eaten by hyenas. They literally eat you alive, and start from the softest part, your butthole, and go up. I still remember a documentary about hyenas where a pack of these spawns of Satan hunt a warthog and start eating him literally carving him from the inside, while the poor bastard is still alive and blinking. Hyenas are the biggest c**ts in animal kingdom and I'm glad the Chinese pay millions for their teeth and bones for their shitty medicine, hope they get extinct some day.
Most predators do that. They go for the soft parts first. Bear will start with your crotch. Birds will go for your eyes.
There's a documentary where they show a tribe of chimps catching a monkey, and they start eating it ass first while it screams.
And there's that famous bear attack photo where it's some hiker's body, with the crotch and legs stripped to bone, by a bear.
If you watch lions hunt, they start eating the ass/belly.
I always remembered that line from lake placid about crocs not being able to see that well underwater because most of their prey is landanimals drinking and my brain was pretty convinced this information could save my life one day but I recently learned it's complete bullshit and crocs hunt fish all the time.
>growing up no real fear of lakes or oceans >out of nowhere in twenties feel constant terror that I'll be blindsided by a shark gator croc etc
I want to spish and splash freely like my youth
he's a big guy
For you.
Solid even.
Cute croco
t. shitbull owner
What a load of croc
Every crocodile I've seen looked smug as frick. It's like a genetic thing
Don't be so fricking racist, dude. Not cool.
If you'd watched dinosaurs die out while you stayed focused and moisturized, you'd get smug on a genetic level, too.
smug?
I do not like this. It looks like it's staring right at me and I feel a fear. It's like that one trex drawing
i know that feeling. leopard seals give me the heebie jeebies.
Do leopard seals attack humans?
no, there's a famous story about a mommy leopard seal trying to feed a photographer a dead penguin.
yes but it's fairly rare. there have been a few recorded leopard seal attacks and one known fatality
Leopard seals are nightmare fuel. Or Orcas, coincidentaly two of my favourite animals.
> https://youtu.be/AmumNJBNvUk
There are no recorded orca attacks on humans in the wild but it's entirely possible that there are unrecorded attacks on humans.
>There are no recorded orca attacks on humans in the wild
>humans
Technically correct
>Leopard seals are nightmare fuel
Only in the water lmao
Game recognize game
>It's like that one trex drawing
Could you or some anon post what you're referencing?
I thought he meant pic related.
I swear I've seen the full colored version of this ages ago but can't find it anymore. It was a mandrill.
>inb4 morons saying how much this render terrifies them
Dinos aren't reptiles, btw.
What are they then?
Dinosaurs are their own thing. Birds are dinosaurs.
So dinosaurs are birds?
No, birds are a specific type of dinosaur: theropods.
o yeh? so what you're saying t rexes are chickens or something? i call bullshit
Birds are reptiles you moron. Unironically. Look it up.
Yeah no, frick that. I definately feel a sense of primal fear by looking at that image. Crazy how even after all these years of Rex being gone, they still strike fear into people.
Death
Delet this uncanny shit
Good god that's scary.
Fight or flight kicking in. Your ancient reptile brain's base instincts.
im spooked
how are people scared of this? That shit looks goofy as frick. His bro is playing dead while he's nibbling on his tail. A couple of pranksters if u ask me.
Idk these fricks look even more smug
they got into our environment because people bought them as pets but threw them away, now you see these homies sunning on a piece of wood in the wild
Frick forgot pic
You'd be smug too.
man i love Impossible creatures
There would be no overpopulation issues in Africa if this creature existed
Those butterflies are sucking juice out of him. They do that with humans also. Look it up.
not my precious juice!
what a jeckin cuterino doggerino
which idiot edited this? I wanna see what the running gator does
It's fake
WAT
They climb now?
it's all about the suspense
what a qt chompy boii
If you'd been here as long as they have you'd be smug too
I went cage diving with these guys and I highly recommend it.
If you were a genius you would be smug too.
>Dies of infection because he kills the animals evolutionarily predisposed to clean his moronic, gangly mouth
Crocs are Black person tier
>Heh, nothing personnel birdbreath
Silly croc
You can't eat all those hot dogs
movie?
also, best terror croc movies?
Rogue (2007)
Rogue is utter kino, one of the best monster movies of all time.
>movie?
Killer Crocodile (1989)
>also, best terror croc movies?
>Rogue (2007)
This Rogue is the best killer animal movie ever after Jaws.
>movie?
Killer Crocodile 1989. Its Jaws but with a crocodile.
why does it look like it has fish scales
was he filled with beetroot?
of course he is
the question is, why arent you?
beetroot is awesome
For me it's turnip.
Recently found out that in Odisha, India there are still giant 20 foot crocs around. Makes me happy.
When Lolong died due to pinoy incompetence it made me sad and angry.
what's this shitty design where you have obese tail
That's pure fricking muscle mate. They swim by waving it back and forth.
>pure fricking muscle
they literally store fat in their tail, a croc with a fat tail is a well fed croc. Its also why that's the part that people like to eat
yo this homie flossin!
das rite u dumb homie
majestic
Where's he going?
home
Say that to my face and not online, fricker.
ur mom said she liked it
They survive eating the corpses of Pajeets, since they just throw their dead into their rivers.
Hippoed.
>HELP ME CROC BROS
*munch munch*
Based hippos
the only good line from the prequels
>meesa in big doodoo dis time!
Cope rlmgay
?
>ACK
those hippos literally raped that croc to death
It is crazy how deadly and dangerous Hippos are despite their silly look.
>straight white male defends himself from feminist landwhale war party.jpg
fun fact hippos are vegetarians. that means when they kill they do it for fun.
Crocodile
>cool
>sleek
>biggest reptile
>kills people like they aren't shit
Alligaytor
>looks like a moron
>I could probably body slam it
>Amerimutt
>Probably takes it up the bum
Tail update.
fixed it
all those periods were flaring up my autism
Alligators are either American or Chinese, so I mean, either way.
The best way to tell a difference between an alligator and a crocodile is if its chasing you down and ripping you to shreds, its a crocodile.
Gators are bros and I will not stand for this slander.
I don't know what it was but Lake Placid almost made me throw up when I was a kid.
Bridget fonda wasnt that ugly yet, jeez.
If I pulled him out, would he die?
Is this an alligator or a crocodile?
I can’t watch that scene without laughing now. Which is a shame, because it’s excellent.
If the dome was meant to be viewed from miles away or whatever, wouldn't those clouds look super tiny in Truman's town?
That's a Kremling from Donkey Kong.
clearly a gavial
Smug croc vs Virgin zookeeper
how did it end?
he got free somehow
Croc'ed.com
aww that's cute the croc wanted to show him something in the water
Now why did that moron try to "fix" the food in the croc's mouth?
Natural selection.
Yeah that was mighty moronic of him.
congratulations, what's the next step of your master plan?
game over man
Once it gets him in the water he's fricked. That's when they do the spin technique to drown whatever they're fricking up
HE'S FREE
https://www.latimes.com/world-nation/story/2022-02-09/indonesia-frees-crocodile-tire-stuck-neck
Who can play him in the inevitable biopic?
Posting Gustave.
Gustav-pill me
He big
He's killed and eaten over 300 Indians spanning decades. He's very big and always hungry.
The hippo's fear him. The animals avoid him. He's the chad of the land.
He rule(d) India with an iron fist
>d
What happened, bros?
Gustave likely ate Japanese soldiers in WW2.
you guys realize Gustave is from Burundi... which is like next to Congo, right?
F
What fascinates me is how saltwater crocodiles in oceania travel from island to island. Going even as far as palau, vanuatu and nauru.
Also, last night I had a dreama about a crocodile thread on Cinemaphile and here it is.
Imagine being shipwrecked and you’re all worried about sharks and a fricking croc swims up on you.
Thing is, the ocean between these islands is also full of sharks. Imagine them both getting after you.
The misnamed Alligator Creek at Guadalcanal has some fricking horror stories like that.
I didn't even know such things existed
I wonder how many sailors in ancient age saw croccos swimming in the sea and thought they were sea monsters
>I wonder how many sailors in ancient age saw croccos swimming in the sea and thought they were sea monsters
>thought
They ARE sea monsters anon
THREAD THEME
I love our native alligators
Something fun about living in a place where any body of water you can't see the bottom of probably has a dinosaur death machine in it
>OH N-
?t=193
virgin
vs
the chad
That's not a crocodile, that's a gharial.
In this image
it is to the alligator what the alligator is to the crocodile.
The jaws are made for eating fish, not pussy. Although they make a scary noise they are useless attacking anything else but fish.
t. watched microsoft encarta animals 95 too much as a kid
>gharial
is a type of crocodile you goose
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gharial
It's a crocodilian but it's not a crocodile.
This guy lost half his face and is doing fine
what does he eat
Meat
Pussy
Is it possible there's any giant creatures out there. Even just 300ft down some cave.
Sure, go make friends with one. I'll wait here.
very aggressive response, are you doing okay today
Blue Whales bruh
Colossal squid? We've driven all the megafauna on land to extinction long ago, but there used to be monsters all over the place.
No there isn’t
>Colossal squid?
Damn dude, you don't need to call WoW players out like that.
Well?
Could frick up any great white shark up in a second. Shark gays on suicide watch.
It's the giant croc clocktower from Hook.
I’m old af anyone play the Indiana Jones PS2 game where you have to avoid the crocodile in the water? Stressful
the white crocodile? I only remember you have to trap it inside one of the rooms
Why yes, I am a croc kino connoisseur, how could you tell?
>Rogue
>Alligator
>Lake Placid
>Crawl
>Dark Age
>Black Water
> Rogue (2007)
Great (best killer animal movie after jaws easily)
> Crawl (2019)
Great
> Primeval (2007)
Great?
> Alligator (1980)
Very Good
> Alligator 2 - The Mutation (1991)
Good to Very Good
> Lake Placid (1999)
Good
> Crocodile 2 - Death Swamp (2002)
Decent
> Crocodile (1979)
OK / Meh (thing was butchered to hell in multiple edits)
> Crocodile (2000)
OK / Meh
> Black Water (2007)
Very Good
> Croc (2007)
Decent (has based Michael Madsen playing a Quint type hunter.
> Blood Surf (2000)
Bad but fun & has a lot of nudity
Black Water: Abyss as well.
Raspberry-filled Human treat?
i can reach down and pet the toads living around my front porch. gently rub/scratch their sides, they lean into it. they love it
Crocbros...
>dude, what the frick?
i'm trying to figure out if the crocgay in the bottom left actually took off his crocbros claw with that deathroll... it's hard to tell but i think he did?????? crocsisters how shall we recover
holy shit i think you are right, crocs don't give a frick
>not cool bro
Not the sharpest tool in the animal kingdom
What the frick, why?
Because they are big dumb lizards that act purely on instinct.
>smell food
>get tactile feedback in jaws
>deathroll
>eat
I love how he just gets carted away
>Greg, no, you promised you'd stick to your diet
>what? No NO LET ME EAT IT LET ME EAT IT
at first I thought he turned around and grabbed the shark.
slinky boi
How did it not die in cold ice water for I amuse at least 12 hrs?
>12 hours
It's spent the majority of winter chillin' there.
they can hibernate
Would you like a chance to rethink that statement, Mr Anon?
I appreciate this crocodile appreciation thread. Do you guys agree that crocodiles are an especially majestic, respectable animal?
Was it kino?
He seems more likable and real than a lot of the other "I wanna be Steve Irwin" guys. But he doesn't have the commercials behind him so I'm sure he's just being called an idiot.
>all that effort
>only 2.5k subs
being outside the top% of youtubers must be agonizing
I was almost sure it was the same guy as with this brilliant plan to catching rabbits with snakes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wynx1ukwdVA
Nah, turns out the land just breeds these maniacs.
It makes me wonder how professional cameramen learn to keep silent and repress their reactions. Unless it's edited out most the time?
>
?t=54
yummy doggu
KWAB
it ain't easy bein' cheesy
ACK-
Being an animal in Africa sucks. It's like living on hardest difficulty
plus all the blacks everywhere
this
Are the monkeys trying to escape via the hog or are they trying to help the hoomans kill it?
the latter
they're too smart to help them
whenever you're upset about something just remember you could be a fricking animal in Africa.
wait how did he survive?
it was all a dream, his imagination, a vision of his death, and he walked away only to find out death has other plans. soon the cheetah finds his final destination
Reminder that back in the cretaceous those frickers were doing the same to TRexes.
these are caimans. sure, i guess they're crocodilians. but they're the midges of crocodiles.
What croc movie should i watch? While my BF fills my pussy with cuuum?
is that Gustave?
Is this real?
Crocodile gays destroyed.
>continues posting caimans
Dumb catposter.
Any mammal of a similar size would destroy any non-mammal equivalent.
Sure warmblood. Come drink, the water's good.
NOW AMOS MOSES WAS A CAJUN
HE LIVED BY HIMSELF IN A SWAMP
HE HUNTED ALLIGATOR FOR A LIVIN
HE JUST HIT THEM IN THE HEAD WITH A STUMP
THE LOUISIANA LAW GONNA GET YA AMOS!
IT AINT LEGAL HUNTIN ALLIGATOR IN THE SWAMP BOY!
NOW EVERYBODY BLAMED HIS OLD MAN FOR MAKIN HIM MEAN AS A SNAKE
WHEN AMOS MOSES WAS BOY HIS DADDY WOULD USE HIM FOR ALLIGATOR BAIT
TIE A ROPE AROUND HIS WAIST AN CHUCK HIM IN THE SWAMP
ABOUT FORTY FIVE MINUTES SOUTHEAST OF TIPPEDAUEX LOUISIANA LIVED A CAT CALLED DOC MILLSAP AN HIS PRETTY WIFE HANNAH
WELL THE RAISED UP A SON THAT COULD EAT UP HIS WEIGHT IN GROCERIES
NAME HIM AFTER A MAN OF THE CLOTH CALL HIM AMOS MOSES
THROW DOWN ON EM AMOS!!
based Jerry frickin reed
I want to see the crocs eat them so bad
Why do people mess with nature i don't get it
Go out in their dumb loud boats and gas guzzlers to just annoy local wildlife and leave trash around. Humans are so obnoxious just like seeing them get eaten
What's with all that mass behind their skull/under the jaw? Is it a fat-deposit or muscle?
Probably their chomping muscles.
now that's a threesome.
>frick off hippo I saw it first
is there any worse fate animal-death wise than being killed by a croc? think about it... they'd twist your limbs, grinding and shattering your bones, and just tear your body apart. i think about this too often but I've thought this could even be worse than the more horrible cases of envenoming like necrotic bite wounds from certain spiders.
they hold you in their mouth underwater until you drown, its not that bad.
they commonly deathroll once they have their jaws locked onto their prey though, so they could twist and grind your body or limbs while you're underwater, you'd be inhaling air while your bones get splintered and crushed...
>inhaling air
inhaling water I meant
depends on how small the croc is, if like in that webm above of the guy who gets his hand bitten they'll deathroll the whole arm of rather then drown you. but if its big enough to grab your torso it'll just drown you, maybe shake you to break your neck and limbs.
Probably a bear or lion or tiger starting to eat you, ass first, while you watch.
But that, or a croc attack, you'll bleed out fast and lose consciousness fast. You'll just...go to sleep...while they eat your ass and guts.
Better to get it over with as soon as possible, instead of lingering in agony for hours or days from venom.
Being attacked and eaten by a pack of baboons.
They will tear the easiest parts off first and eat you alive.
No big cat neck crunch mercy, no drowning like the croc that's over pretty quick.
Apparently bears will bite off your arms and legs before properly beginning to eat you if you are unlucky enough to survive the initial attack that would probably be worse
Being eaten by hyenas. They literally eat you alive, and start from the softest part, your butthole, and go up. I still remember a documentary about hyenas where a pack of these spawns of Satan hunt a warthog and start eating him literally carving him from the inside, while the poor bastard is still alive and blinking. Hyenas are the biggest c**ts in animal kingdom and I'm glad the Chinese pay millions for their teeth and bones for their shitty medicine, hope they get extinct some day.
Welcome to the jungle
oh yeah hyenas are fricked
everything about them is fricked
Most predators do that. They go for the soft parts first. Bear will start with your crotch. Birds will go for your eyes.
There's a documentary where they show a tribe of chimps catching a monkey, and they start eating it ass first while it screams.
And there's that famous bear attack photo where it's some hiker's body, with the crotch and legs stripped to bone, by a bear.
If you watch lions hunt, they start eating the ass/belly.
That's a scary looking croc
My zoo has a zipline that passes directly over these guys in the water
That seems like a lawsuit waiting to happen.
nah tourists will be fine we don't bite
>we
nice try reptile
Is your zoo Jurassic Park?
A zipline like you could let go? Jump in with the crocodiles?
> weee
sheeeeeeiiit
The Lidful Eye
I always remembered that line from lake placid about crocs not being able to see that well underwater because most of their prey is landanimals drinking and my brain was pretty convinced this information could save my life one day but I recently learned it's complete bullshit and crocs hunt fish all the time.
Dude's got massive fricking balls
It's fake.
>do you feel in charge?
That looks like a cartoon character. Real crocodiles are way scarier.
Friendly reminder to watch this piece of B Kino at your earliest convenience
Haiyai!
>that little slide at 0:05
Post galloping crocs
?t=54
How did the croc in the nyc sewers start bros?
get out of here hav
>growing up no real fear of lakes or oceans
>out of nowhere in twenties feel constant terror that I'll be blindsided by a shark gator croc etc
I want to spish and splash freely like my youth
Meanwhile over on /gif/
Big dick joe would have snaped that crocy in half.
chomp 🙂
did she die?