>be therns
>choose a planet
>become the elite in the shadow
>feed on the natural destruction of each civilization of that planet (low IQ population rise, high IQ native elite disappears)
>start again in another planet
Disney's John Carter based??
THERNS KICKED OFF 109 PLANETS
110 if we include Mars.
How do you fuck up with this cast?
very shit marketing played a part of it. Also the title was stupid. and also there was the negative association with Mars Needs Moms
>Mars Needs Moms was so bad that test audiences for John Carter hated the John Carter of Mars title and it had to be renamed
That's kind of hilarious
MarsNeedsMomsAnon will be very upset to hear this.
I actually kind of liked Mars Needs Moms. I think it's tonally a bit weird which turns people off but it's a good movie.
>watch movie
>love this nigga Tars Tarkas, don't know why
>it's Willem Dafoe, no wonder
>it was actually obvious in hindsight
Fuck lynn collins the princess bitch was stupidly hot. I'm in love with her belly
John Carter was the end of the golden age of tummykino.
>tummykino
What means that?
How we bring it back?
>What means that?
I hate esls so much it's unreal
Grug say tummy good. Need much tummy on kino screen. We bring back with help of Harvey Grugstein. He once make many kino and know many good tummy to put on kino screen
Just the right amount of pudge.
bely
>Holywood runs by ~~*therns*~~
>anon still don't know why Hollywood films about white scifi sucks
>it's 2023
Nearly all the recognizable people are bizarre shittily animated 3d shitshows and the leads are nobodies
Marketing. Movie was great.
The movie was pretty good imo. Not super amazing but it was a solid film that I think got fucked by bad marketing decisions
David Schwimmer
Too white
Atrocious marketing.
the aliens looked goofy
the posters gave a generic fantasy feel
(which is applicable because this is a generic fantasy movie)
What's with this attitude where you think something profound about reality is revealed by a story made up by another person that completely controls that reality?
because it’s impossible for fiction to be 100% disconnected from reality and people write what they observe about the world into their fictional worlds, that’s the only way fiction ever resonates.
it’s the same reason historical fiction is never really accurate to the time period. Seventh Seal, for instance, is all about a modern understanding of PTSD and 20th century existentialism, it is not totally accurate to the mindset of someone of that time period.
Nuke Marsalem.
Unironically a good movie and severely underrated
Virginia !!!
Goddamn what a great movie, and such a disgrace we did not get a sequel.
Has anyone read the books?
If so are they any good? Was thinking of reading the first book
>Has anyone read the books?
It's on my shelf. Haven't read it yet.
Would you ever be so kind as to read it and get back to me at 2357, herp a derp place, Wisconsin , Barsoom
Have you read anything by Burroughs?
They're excellent. Once you read them you'll realize that, as admirable of a job as the movie did, John is a sullen pussy in it.
thank you anon, I will order the first book
I used to read non stop when I was younger, only this past year have I made an effort to start reading regularly. So just finished The Godfather, which is amazing if you have not read it.
working my way through a short story collection and nearly finished that, so was thinking id give john carter a go next
>I used to read non stop when I was younger,
hey bro. may i recommend AUDIBLE/audio books and/or a amazon kindle? you can read while driving, running errands, making food, riding your bike, etc and switch between audiobook and ebook editions on the fly for many books. anyone i know who reads a lot is using amazon's kingle/audible ecosystem.
only buy physical books if you want to collect them and/or have autistic sensory issues.
https://librivox.org/a-princess-of-mars-by-edgar-rice-burroughs-2/
https://librivox.org/a-princess-of-mars-by-edgar-rice-burroughs-3/
https://librivox.org/a-princess-of-mars-version-4-by-edgar-rice-burroughs/
Thanks for the suggestions, I only recently got diagnosed as dyslexic. So listening to books doesn't work for me. I have been buying second hand books online for a few bucks.
I like having the paper in my hand, I much prefer it to reading on a screen.
I've pirated everything for years, so happy to screw em over haha
I find the book is better, in that it gives so much more detail to these characters that are barely touched upon in the movie, I mean if they copied the book exactly the movie would have been 12 hours long
but I am a fan of both the book and film
I have ended up reading a few books based on movies this year, I read Coogans bluff which was made into Killing them softly. I found the movie to be better than the book
but his other book the friends of eddie coyle , was great as good as the movie, also a very short book
thanks for this, I'll try reading some of it
>thanks for this, I'll try reading some of it
Those are audiobooks. Three different narrations of A Princess of Mars in fact.
This but instead of buying anything from amazon or audible (owned by amazon) just pirate ebooks and audiobooks for FREE and upload them to your non-amazon device.
>This but instead of buying anything from amazon or audible (owned by amazon) just pirate ebooks and audiobooks for FREE and upload them to your non-amazon device.
if u r poor and have time for that, sure. if u have a job the convenience is just worth it.
Shut the fuck up zoomer
I am well aware. But it doesn't have to be an amazon™ brand amazon™ kindle™™ and that was the only point of my post.
>I am well aware. But it doesn't have to be an amazon™ brand amazon™ kindle™™ and that was the only point of my post.
ya of course it doesnt 'have to be' you stupid commie homosexual retart. but its just the best platform for it by far with the largest selection of material available both for free and purchase.
if you can't afford a $9.99 audible subscription you should probably go fucking pirate a book about how to get a job and stop giving advice here.
>lmao ur poor
Zoomer retards will never cease to amaze me with their constant excuses for not knowing how to pirate
>Zoomer retards will never cease to amaze me with their constant excuses for not knowing how to pirate
kid i was literally hosting warez and progz on angelfire and tripod sites and sharing roms and porno on irc and aim before your momma's balls dropped. i pirated back when i was a child and didnt have hundreds of dollars for adobe photoshop or microsoft visual studio.
but now that im an adult i cant be assed to spend 10 minutes pirating, converting, and uploading an ebook to a jailbroken chink tablet when i could just spend the 30 cents or whatever the fuck worth of audible credits to get a legitimate version in 5 seconds with no problems.
for me its about path of least resistance/convenience these days and not saving 50 cents here and there.
im not against piracy, im just for whatever is most convenient for me, and pocket change vs however many minutes of my time is a no brainer - for my situation.
now if you are a child/ third worlder/poorfag, then your situation is obviously different. dont be butthurt.
Congratulations on letting them win.
Don't project your butthurt on to me. I responded to your post
because it read like a shill's first day at work. I'm not even against buying books, just against buying them from amazon. And if you were aware of the extortionate cut they take from punlishers and authors for ebook and (especially) audible sales you'd know why I keep calling you a retard for continually sucking them off. My policy is pirate first, buy it if I like it. There's no shortage of other online storefronts and transferring the books to your ereader of choice is as easy as drag and drop. Except for the kindle which strives to be as difficult as possible for everyone except its own ecosystem. Kindles are fine for normalfags who like things as simple as possible but for people who like choice, the other ereader options are not even close to slow or inconvenient as to justify wasting money on an amazon product.
u r dumb as fuck if u think amazon is paying people to shill audiobooks on Cinemaphile's Cinemaphile board in threads about a disney film. top kek tier retarted. the kid said he wants to get back into reading: audible/kindle is great for that and anyone who actually fucking reads will agree, only children, anti-corporate communists, third worlders, opensource freeware homosexuals, and the mentally ill will disagree.
Work on your reading comprehension. I didn't say amazon has shills itt I said your shitty post sounded like one.
>if you'd rather give money to a corp instead of giving it to MY corp then you're a commie third world child
Sure kid lmao. This is your last (You) so make sure to savor it.
its not about amazon being 'my favorite corporation'. its the fact that amazon's audible and kindle libraries are the largest and most easily available sources of books. that is just fucking fact. if you want to use some other platform/option thats fine, but its going to be a worse experience in this situation. thats just fact.
name a audiobook/ebook platform that offers more books in more languages for free and/or to buy.
the internet archive's open library boasts it has over 2 million books available. amazon has over 32 million available. its not a fucking contest.
You can upload them to an Amazon device anonie, Amazon even provide a very convenient email-based service to do that. Kindles are very reasonably priced and very effective as reading tablets.
The Godfather is one of those times where the movie > the book. The movie is a borderline 1:1 adaptation but with the benefit of an absolutely kino cast and score.
I would add that, while each book is individually great, by the back half of the series they start to get a little formulaic. I would recommend taking the series slowly after the first three or four to keep them feeling fresh.
I liked
This movie always makes me think of this scene from The Newsroom https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riZaKw7alr8&ab_channel=EntertainmentLaw%2CIthacaCollege
>inb4 that show is libshit cringe homosexualry
I know but I like Aaron Sorkin joints
TL;DW the writers use Olivia Munn's character as a vessel to suck Dudsney's cock and say that although they're gonna bomb hard with John Carter they're still one of America's most successful companies in the hugely profitable entertainment industry
I wonder what they'd write now, after they drove Pixar into the dirt of mediocrity, turned Star Wars into a dead brand, turned Marvel into a joke and have turned their initially very successful internal 3d studio into a flop factory.
The only way I can understand liking this movie is if you haven’t seen any movies, tv shows, or read any books. Burroughs is a completely seminal influence on all fiction of the entire century before John Carter was made. You’ll see echos of his work in literally everything. But the source is just a confederate yankee on mars.
Retards like to hammer the drum that marketing is entirely responsible for the movie’s failure, while the movie itself is simply bland.
Show me a single comparable movie.
>confederate Yankee
This seems like a contradiction in terms.
Also we were all Yankees before the civil war.
>Also we were all Yankees before the civil war.
incorrect retarted yankee. it was originally a slur for the dutch who settled New York used by the other, majority british colonies in north america before knocking down "wall" street and chasing the dutch the fuck outta here. yankee has always meant northern foreigner.
>John Carter
kino
Jimmy Carter from Mars and Forgettoland flopping cancels the TR3N. Pixar directors can't into live action.
>pic related this is what they took from you
How the fuck did Disney drop the ball so hard with this movie I'll never understand
>stellar special effects
>great cast
>soundtrack made by Daft punk is one of their best works they ever made