Guardians of the Dungeons Vol I?
Trailer
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Dungeons and Dragons 2023 movie
Guardians of the Dungeons Vol I?
Trailer
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Kino
I struggle to understand why they make these utterly themeless movies.
>dewd what if dungeons and dragons was...
>a heist movie! But also a superhero movie!
>with black sabbath as soundtrack! that'd be EPIC!
>also with CGI monsterfight fest!
>and there's like a woman, but she's not feminine, she's a barbarian! Who smoked a pack a day for 20 years!
That's like trying to make a salad, mixing in some pasta, chocolate, sushi, a bit of dog shit, putting it into a blender, and wondering why it looks and tastes like shit. Like, had you just made a salad it would have been a superior product, but these people just don't get it.
> black sabbath
it does look shit though. Is that green facepainted guy meant to be a drow?
D&D has gone from being serious nerd shit to being all about le wacky shenanigans in the last few years
>in the last few years
m8 nerds always did stupid wacky shit what the frick are you talking about?
good example is the orkz in warhammer
what you just said doesnt mean anything.
>there has always been wacky shit therefor you cannot complain about this or that wacky shit
Why would a grown man make this children's tier argument?
>in the last few years
D&D campaigns have always had nerdy wacky dumb bullshit.
The players have made it wacky but it was never written into the source material.
all the wacky stuff in the movie happens because the people playing the game made it happen
DND from the start was just every nerd thing that you could fit into a fantasy setting
Yeah not necessarily quippy marvelshit though.
It's depressing that finally the capability exists to portray a decent D&D movie, but instead of something gritty and romantic we get yass kween attitudes, marvel quip dialog deflating tension at every moment, and immediately over-the-top goofy stakes. Even Marvel had some smidgen of taste while building up to the Infinity War.
Americans made fantasy genre good by inventing Sword and Sorcery. It's modern soiboys who have ruined it.
Dude the original He-Man cartoons were literally all quips.
You're a homosexual.
Nobody watched He-Man cartoons beyond age 8.
Doesn't change what I said.
Also stop bumping the shillthread newbie.
Make the shill do the work and then laugh at him because he has to.
He-Man is a stupid counter-example that doesn't support your point and you are stupid to bring it up. If you don't want the thread bumped don't post idiotic bait.
Of course it does.
Also learn to sage you fricking newbie.
You better not have been the c**t talking shit about how newbies ruin everything.
I know how to sage, I'm didn't because you're a huge homosexual and don't care if I bump the thread.
It does not matter how quippy He-Man is. He-Man was a cartoon for little kids. D&D was not for little kids. This D&D movie is not for little kids(manchildren, maybe). You have no point. You posted idiocy then tried to change the subject to be about laughing at OP or whatever.
>I totally knew how I just unironically bumped the shill thread for no reason.
FRICK
OFF
newbie.
We are not your fricking friends.
I'm not trying to fit in, you are.
I'm just using this thread as an excuse to post classic fantasy artwork and talk about what a D&D movie could have been.
>I'm not trying to fit in, you are.
Good. Coz you're failing. You stand out like a sore thumb.
>I'm just using this thread as ...
This thread will be headed to the archive by the end of the hour.
It's you, me, one other anon, and the shill.
And you're the only one doing the shills fricking job for free.
Coz you're a dumb fricking newbie who's now actually trying to save face on an ANONYMOUS IMAGEBOARD.
For fricks sake how fricking lame can you be?
If you weren't a newbie you would know that if you really want a thread to die, the only way that has a prayer of working is to hide it and ignore it. I attached a picture to help you learn the interface on this website.
>who's now actually trying to save face
Looks to me like you're the one trying to save face. I just responded to your idiot post and called it idiotic.
See, now the shill has to say stupid shit like that
and we all know it's the shill because he bumped the thread and was moronic.
Shill for what? This DnD movie looks like dogshit you fricking ape.
That's why it needs you to shill it.
It's not like it's going to get any word of mouth. I go to other Cinemaphile and the consensus was immediate:
Diversity casting = shit every time no exceptions.
/thread
Found the dude that nobody wants to play with because he takes shit too seriously
confirmed for never actually having played dnd. its 100% whacky shenanigans all the time.
Unironically a good thing. You basement dwellers get weird with no outside influence.
Serious nerd shit always leads to rpg horror stories, I'd rather just have fun with friends with the game.
D&D is all but dead now. I've been trying to get people to join my campaign for years but everyone is busy flicking their beans or working 60 hours a week to pay for some vacation they took 5 years ago.
>everyone is busy flicking their beans or working 60 hours a week to pay for some vacation they took 5 years ago.
Have you tried not getting just women to play your campaign?
You don't recognize led zeppelin?
That’s basically what (snee)DND is. It’s not a Tolkien fantasy epic
I blame capeshit and all people gave a single dime to Marvel
DnD has always been quintessential capeshit. Even before Marvel movies were a thing.
This is not true, zoomer.
Comic Book superheroes and D&D have always been distinct, although their fandom had some overlap. But even then, you're far more likely to see overlap between D&D nerds and Star Trek fans (and to a lesser extent, Star Wars) than superhero comics.
If you really wanted a make a classic D&D style campaign into a movie, you'd make a horror+suspense+mystery movie.
Seethe, grognard. The past will never return.
Rent free
>ive never played d&d:the post
Every single campaign my friends and I have played has ended up a jumbled mess of whatever, its a game about friends sitting around making shit up in a fantasy world.
honestly they should just make a DnD movie where it starts off making you think it's real and then after 30 or so minutes it cuts to the DM/players around the table arguing over some stupid rule and it's really just a dramatized version of an actual campaign
I've had enough cringe movies already, thank you very much.
I just want movies to not be self aware of how cringe they are again.
what if it was directed by Sam Raimi though
and it featured nerd actors like Vin Diesel and Henry Cavill
They can make a DnD movie if they want sure, but I don't trust modern Hollywood to make movies that are not cringe on purpose.
saying cringe is cringe
That means you are double cringe right now.
Vin already did Witch Hunter and played the character in an actual play in a fantasy setting.
Of course the people he played with where youtube memesters and the GM was in love with his own voice and shit, but what are you gonna do?
That made me realize Vin isn't faking his D&D love. He was a good player even with the people he was playing with.
>look guys I'm le heckin badass just like in all my movies but at a table instead
Vin is a shit player. Seems like exactly the kind of one note roleplayer I'd have filtered from my table years ago.
You sound like an butthole GM. Many such cases.
>it's only fun if i play the same character every time and am a complete badass always
And you sound like a nogames turbohomosexual. The DM is here to adjudicate the game for people, not cater to your specific and repetitive lame power fantasies.
Based. Meatheads are only interested if they keep hitting shit.
Absolutely filtered
you have no friends
You don't play games.
Watching Matty Mercer and Vin play "nerd" for an hour is not a hobby.
RUSHING OR DRAGGING?
you're cringe
Not exactly but it's kino D&D movie.
The sequel is much better.
They've got a youtube channel that had a half-good series aswell.
typing this random shit instead of just linking it. are you a fricking moron or what?
Let me google that for you.
Or rather, do it your fricking self I'm not your mum.
Newsflash jackass. That's you and your friends being basic MCU quipping frick-ups. You know you're playing a game, you're not immersed, you're just being a bunch of basic buttholes joking around.
The stories/worlds in D&D itself is high fantasy and is taken seriously.
This movie is a quipfest "comedy" with all the generic oneliners and feel-good music you've come to expect from this type of shlock.
Congratulations homosexual, you're the ones in the last panel
Huh actually looks pretty good
I wouldn't call it unfocused but you still come close to my main complaint that it looks like they're shoving too much into the movie to fit it all in properly, is this shit gonna be 3 hours long? I would be ok with that but i'm not sure the masses would be.
>Huh actually looks pretty good
Because they're hiding all the Black folk.
Look at the funny white guy. Look at the pretty jailbait.
It's the same trick they pulled with The Witcher.
>pulled with The Witcher.
they anounced all the Black folk way in advance in the witcher anon
And they announced all the Black folk in this too.
Meanwhile the trailer for the Witcher Season 2 was nearly 100% Geralt and Ciri, the actual show was Black folk in a holocaust allegory with Geralt and Ciri barely in it by the end.
I guaran-fricking-tee you this movie is going to be shit. If they wanted to do it properly they would have cast it properly and the Paladin would be played by Orlando Bloom or Alexander Skarsgard or something while the mage would be some nerdy old white guy or a smoking hot sorceress.
>a smoking hot sorceress.
we ll we did get a smoking hot shape shifter...
No we got a jailbait druid. Which they're using as a smokescreen to cover the fact this is actually just wokeshit with a brand slapped on it.
The mage is a Black person.
there is a strong barbarian chick
the Black person elf
the bard MC
the cuttie
i dont remember a mage
He's only in the trailer for all of one second. He's the guy who says "that's an owlbear."
Black personmage
Black personpaladin
Man with boobs
Jailbait and white guy because the first three were terrible choices.
I actually feel bad for Michelle Rodriguez here because they MIGHT have got away with her alone, but because it's wokeshit she'll cop it too from the people who are dumb enough to keep falling for this.
Again, The Witcher is shows the model, they COULD have got away with Yennipoo if it wasn't for black Fringilla and brunette Triss, but because it's just wokeshit through and through, she copped unfairly.
>jailbait
she's only 20 years old you sick frick!
She looks like a 12 year old boy.
a hot 12 year old boy
A walling waiting to happen any second now.
actually yeah that too it seemed weirdly light on them, but when it came time to make my post I forgot to mention that
Make your own movies then, gay.
Why? I have anime. Literally millions of hours of anime.
This shit is going to launch anime into the mainstream.
>This shit is going to launch anime into the mainstream.
Why?
Because fantasy anime is kino. But people think all anime is Naruto/DBZ. But when anime BTFO hollywood to this degree, people will try it and people will like it.
And there is a fricking shitton of it. Something for everyone. Japan put the work in over the last 25 years, invested in their people, sorted out their problems, and it's paying off.
You can thank redditor Youtubers for killing D&D years ago with that cringe Critical Role and Geek and Sundry shit.
>black sabbath as soundtrack
frick you.
you uncultured swine.
that's pretty much how D&D plays out most of the time
No, that's how midwits who've coopted the game play it. For 30 years it was not played as some quippy lolsorandom fighting game. Most people didn't even bother speaking in character until like level 5 because most characters didn't live long enough to both assigning some tired Marvel movie personality trope.
remember the sony email leaks. The executive people who decide these things are borderline moronic
>black sabbath
Why are there so many black people in a world heavily based on medieval Poland?
Are you getting Forgotten Realms and the Witcher mixed up in your head?
Shut up you racist moron Medieval Poland was the most homoglobo pozzed place in the entire continent and yes there were black Black person men there FRICKING POLISH WENCHES just like they do today.
btw im polish and i agree we are proud cuckold nation and have always been libshit homosexuals most men here are cucks and blacked.com memes and jokes are really common on mainstream tv and even daytime commercials.
personally i have been cucked by 3 girlfriends with black guys all african students
I think that you are confusing D&D with The Witcher 3.
It's Ukrainians
It actually looks pretty funny and pretty cool. Then again I haven’t watched a mainstream Hollywood film in over a decade so I don’t have burnout and fatigue like everyone else
You dont have any taste you mean
>led zep song in the trailer
instant kino
>song has nothing to do with anything in the movie
funny how they used to never license their music and now are quickly becoming a meme trailer staple
the money, it's never enough for them
never.
kino composition
Wow, who is that lich next to that dude? She's draining his life force as we speak.
>Cameron Crowe wants to use Stairway To Heaven for Almost Famous
>nope
>Cobra 11, a German buddy cop TV show has a scene where the main characters have a bar fight against a bunch of neo-nazi bikers
>Stairway To Heaven plays on the jukebox during the whole scene
I heard Adele in a random german TV show yesterday, do they even bother to license that shit or do they just use it knowing no one's going know anyway?
They've got you hook line and sinker
more like instant sign its marvel quipfest dogshit
tell me that you have never watched the previous D&D movies without telling me that you have never watched the previous D&D movies
more like the marketing department has no faith in the product so they prop it up with a classic song everyone knows.
and it wasn't even the original song, it was a fricking zoomer remix or some shit. even worse.
>Honor Among Thieves
With such an uninspired title as that I can tell straight away it's a minimum effort cashgrab
Fitting for D&D
so cringe i couldn't even finish the trailer. wow man, like physical cringe. I felt dirty afterwards...
You're a very tender one ain't you. Did you hug your blanket and cry because you're so tender?
>The audience doesn't like this
>Let's insult them, that will help
Jesus Christ it's the Netflix shill all over again.
>American high fantasy
Soulless, pass.
When I saw the directors and the characters teaser I thought it would be a comedy with people playing D&D kinda like modern Jumanji but funny. This looks like shit.
>comedy with people playing D&D
Frick no. That would just be an excuse to do Marvel Cringe(tm) piece of shit that is ashamed of itself.
Honestly just looks like Marvel film #83 except in D&D clothing. Will probably be quickly forgotten about.
>Honestly just looks like Marvel film #83 except in D&D clothing.
Came to say this. Nothing about this has a vibe that I associate with D&D. What should be a lower stakes but fun adventure has been given the bland "epic" capeshit treatment.
>no ranger or monk
go figure, they such in 5e
Such what?
>lute holster
You are all joyless c**ts and this will be kino of the highest order regardless of your moaning.
lute off bro, me and you!
is that a discount hemsworth
>is that a discount hemsworth
Kek! Hemsworth played his dad in Star Trek 2009, so you're not too far off. That's Chris Pine, who, like his cinematic father, have started their journey on the Bogpill path.
>Amerigay accents
>In a medieval fantasy setting
Eeewww
Exacly why I don't allow players to speak anything else except Anglo-Norman at my table.
Do you even know what Anglo-Norman is? It’s a dialect of French, it isn’t English you fricking spastic.
Did I imply we speak English at my table? Only period accurate languages are acceptable ways of communicating in character. Trying to pass around ideas out of character leads to rocks falling.
>fantasy
>period accurate
Don't you know, anon? Medieval fantasy is supposed to be medieval Europe, but with magic.
considering most of fantasy is heavily influenced by Tolkien and that Tolkien's Middle Earth is supposed to be ancient history, you're wrong
>according to my very specific definition within the scope of this disucssion, you're wrong, neener neener.
Off yourself homo.
that's based
no more anglo trash. so sick of it. these fricking morons even have to play russians and romans. it's never enough for them.
>medieval setting
>it’s set on modern day Toril
>American accents
Those are Faerûnian accents
I couldn't stop thinking about this during the whole trailer, and to be honest I kind of loved it.
i love the idea of some mad lad with money just making film after film making a mockery of the holocaust
I mean that's basically Allo Allo which is 40 years old by now
Tearing up? That seems a bit much.
What does she mean she can finally see herself mirrored? I felt the same thing when I saw Michael Jordan in Space Jam and Aragorn in LOTR. I hoped the hero would prevail. That's it. I don't need the character to look like me to feel their struggle. What the frick is she talking about?
>TFW this post reminded me Gilbert Gottfried is dead
*YIKES* THAT'S GOTTA HOIT
I cast upon thee a 3rd degree HYPE spell
hella diverse
watch this instead
>WOW movie
Unironically better than the D&D 2023 because they don't have annoying Amerimutts quipping every 2 secs
What's your DnD movie look like then?
The party in this movie pretty much encompasses any one of my DnD group's parties.
Should the group have to deal with their murderhobo rogue they keep around for...some reason?
Should their be an completely overpowered person that shows up and saves everyone like a dm npc?
Should the world's god be a spiteful and pathetic entity that uses the group for his weird fetishes or straight power trip?
Im not him but I do play dnd and im tired of the idea you morons perpetuate that basically every dnd player is a drooling moron. Some of us play to roleplay and immerse in the lore or take our characters seriously, I do not just project myself and my real world reactions onto the characters so we're all wacky and silly and dont take anything seriously. So to answer your question without answering your dumbass rhetoricals, I want a movie where the characters take themselves and the lore seriously, characters who are not avatars for irl players, characters that I can believe would exist, not happy go lucky jokers. The movie is about thieves but thieves would be a slimy group of rugged people, again not happy go lucky clowns.
I would bet money on it that you don't play DnD
Warcraft is not WoW you dumb zoomer
>It's just Guardians of the Galaxy, but with dragons & magic
I wish the MCU formula would die. Every single scene/scenario has to have Bathos.
Why am I getting the same vibes from this trailer as the other movie?
oh n-
This is true though. D&D isn't epic fantasy and the characters of any campaign aren't locked into any archetype. That's why the game is fun.
Campaigns where the players take things seriously are fricking terrible. D&D is not a good system for tons of RP or combat, it does best when things are casual and light. Stakes can be high in the game but players should always be enjoying themselves.
The performances and story look better in this trailer haha
>Glad he's on our side
it seems paramount wanted to make a guardians of the galaxy
Looks fun but Justice Smith will always be a terrible casting choice for any role. Dude plays a beta male weasel extremely well though.
>Dude plays a beta male weasel extremely well though.
Perfect choice to play the party Wizard.
Watch him be a sorcerer instead. We wuz magical an shiet
God I hope not, wizards are much more interesting, they can even have a segment where he never gets the chance to prepare his spells for the day, that would be interesting
He's Simon the Sorcerer.
Empty, weightless cgi """action""".
Entirely script will be Whedon-speak
Looks like generic quipshit with garbage CGI. Nothing surprising considering modern Hollywood, but I'm sure it's a tolerable enough assembly line product I'll probably pirate and watch while nursing a hangover.
Looks fun.
>march 2023
What are the odds of last minute reshoots?
It is not important enough of a movie to make major reshoots.
Bards are most powerful class
lol this movie trailer just ruined whatever image I had of D&D lol nothing is untouchable from globohomo
What the frick are you talking about?
frick you
Some people do, unlike to you.
So youre in a dungeons and dragons thread larping as some sort of superior sex haver who looks down on lowley virgins. Evaluate your life.
DnD belongs to us normies now. Touch sex.
I will not larp with you, you're a piece of shit and your schtick belongs on reddit.
Saying something belongs on reddit is cringe.
I belong on reddit.
Youre a charicature of a human being and I will beat the shit out of you when I find you.
Threats of physical violence are cringe.
Looks like what a good DnD session feels like, I'll go see it.
>mimic
nice
Lmao chuds on Cinemaphile be seething about a fun movie with wacky adventures. Gonna thoroughly enjoy this one.
Why does this look like as if an AI made a film?
Because it probably did, or at least at some point in development if there was an authentic script it has been touched up or edited by an AIs cliffnotes. I'm not even making it up, lookup interviews of people in the industry.
Its gonna be a smashing success, because it looks fun with some fan service like the cube monster.
Is it just me or is the Druid a 1:1 ripoff of Keyleth?
The druid is a tiefling so no.
>underage redhead Druid with freckles and focus on beast shape
I mean sure Keyleth was pretty generic but now she is an actual intellectual property in a cartoon that came out 6 months ago
>Keyleth was pretty generic
She was THE most generic druid that ever existed.
This is fine. It's what people generally expect DnD to be, and how many people play. You can't really expect them to adapt your gritty homebrew grimdark campaign.
Will give it a pirate.
If it was fine you wouldnt have to praise it without a list of stipulations and clauses like a fricking contract.
>ah yes you can enjoy this film.... but only if you dont expect x, only if youre ok with x, and thats a good thing!
Thats not how it works, maybe in your twisted reality, but not mine.
>this is fine.
>here's some reasons you may not be fine with it, but youre actually wrong 🙂
>Now lets launch qbtorrent, fellow kids!
Never in my life have I thought this about something. When I like something I dont feel the need to appeal to anyone about it.
Except there are no clauses or stipulations. Just an explanation for why they would go for this style over what a lot of people here seem to want. I never said that the alternative was the better, just that that it was niche, and niche isn't the same as quality.
The movie is both market consciousness and, judging by the trailer, fine.
I implore you to re-read my post and find where I say one thing is better than the other. You can't, unless you live in some twisted reality.
You are arguing with something you have simply imagined was there.
>main character is bard
Meh, i may watch it, i just disliked the main Black person, the dwarf and the rest are ok. Looks extremely generic and that is exactly what dungeons and dragons had been for 3 decades
>doesn't adapt beloved Highlander ripoff into a sweeping fantasy epic
>instead just throws people in renfair costumes with 20 cgi dragons
>"Le heckin owlbear bro (even though druids can't do that)"
First of all gay, second of all stupid.
holy shit they must have a huge marketing budget because this thread is flooded with shills.
this movie looks like absolute dogshit rehashed marvel trash
but will it have the combat wheelchair?
God willing.
due you get to sue the dragon if his lair isn't wheel chair accessible?
Diversity casting in fantasy = shit. Every single time no exceptions.
Hiding them in the trailer isn't going to work, Witcher season 2 did that and now Netflix share price is in the toilet.
Casting a huge actor isn't diversity casting dipshit
Then how come this board loses its shit whenever Zendaya gets cast in something?
Those are shills you fricking idiot.
Okay so I could actually address that, but instead I'll point out that you've basically admitted there hasn't been a good fantasy movie with a black guy in it for FORTY YEARS.
Literally every single fantasy movie in that time either had an all-white cast, or sucked.
Frick you sure showed me.
The Scorpion King if you want a very fun action flick or The Green Mile if you want a serious movie. The Man from Earth is another great movie. Then there is Robin Hood, Blade, Bruce Almighty..
The scorpion king was terrible. The CGI Rock-scorpion was so hilariously bad it's all anyone remembers.
And the rest aren't fantasy you dumb frick.
There's plenty of good shit with Black folk in it. But diversity casting in fantasy = shit every single time.
>let me explain this thing newbies know
Black person
1. Why the frick would I want it to die when I can laugh at the shill for hours.
2. The thread is not going to die because it's a shill. Someone is LITERALLY paid to bump this thread every time it reaches page 4 or so.
What you did was the shills job for them because you are an unironic newbie.
>Someone is LITERALLY paid to bump this thread every time it reaches page 4 or so.
How do I aquire this job? I bump for free.
Just post your deets ITT and they'll probably hire you today.
Name
Address
Telephone number
Email address
>The scorpion king was terrible. The CGI Rock-scorpion was so hilariously bad it's all anyone remembers.
You are talking about Mummy 2 which was not as good as 1. The Scorpion King is a standalone movie that doesn't have CGI Rock.
Why does the rest not count? What is the Green Mile or Robin Hood if not fantasy movies?
>the Green Mile
Drama
>Robin Hood
Men in tights was a spoof.
Prince of Theives didn't have diversity casting (Asim is supposed to be non-white)
And the Ridley Scott one was an all-white cast because Asim wasn't in it.
The BBC one DID have diversity casting and it sucked balls.
So now you are moving the goalpost. Alright. Here's the original quote:
>Literally every single fantasy movie in that time either had an all-white cast, or sucked.
And the Green Mile is a fantasy drama. Dude is literally healing others with his hands, glowing lights, vomiting black cloud of evil, it goes all the way.
Green Mile is closer to a supernatural thriller than a fantasy movie. That'd be like calling Friday the 13th or Nightmare on Elm Street "Fantasy" movies because they featured one character with a superpower/ability
Fantasy is a setting, not even really a theme imo
Not the guy you're arguing with, just my two cents.
I understand where you are coming from. To me fantasy is magic. If a character is super durable, that still can be explained in sci-fi ways, so not necessarily fantasy. For example Scarlet Witch is magic while Iron Man is sci-fi even though they are in the same universe. Thor could be a composite of both, his strength and long life as a result of his alien race, and the hammer as magic. I consider Marvel to be fantasy/sci-fi hybrid.
>To me fantasy is magic
That's because you're a fricking moron. Simple.
>I don't understand what fantasy means
Cool.
You're dumbfrickery isn't going to help this movie not suck. This is movie is GOING to suck. Guaranteed.
If they wanted to do it properly they would. They don't. They want to make political points.
And you, being the dumbfrick you are, will think up "non-racist" reasons why the movies sucks to "prove me wrong" because that's what dumbfricks like you do every time.
The movie WILL SUCK.
I know this for a fact because it has Black folk in it.
That does not mean the Black folk will make it suck.
But the movie will suck.
Diversity was always a thing in the fantasy movies and stories. Not!Arabia, Not!Japan, Not!India were all included in fantasy, even in the 20s and 30s.
Only we're not doing notarabia or notIndia or notJapan, we're doing 21century America.
IN FRICKING FANTASY.
>we're doing 21century America.
what?
Frick off newbie.
If you want to understand you can fricking lurk moar, but I'd prefer you just left us in peace.
This is nothing like the US
>I'm a fricking newbie that needs the whole fricking theory explained to be because I unironically think this is /misc/
Go frick yourself.
We've literally discussed this every day for the last 5 years, you got here fricking yesterday, and you want us to go through the whole thing again for you.
Black folk where they don't belong, sounds exactly like the US
Are you going to acknowledge the fact all the races were still confined to each of their part of the fictional world based on the real regions the races come from and were always exotic strangers in the white/elf/dwarf lands, and now all the non-whites are being written as native to Not!Europe, or are you going to be a disingenuous bad faith frick and ignore that
Love the neon white plastic teeth on the barbarian.
>Love the neon white plastic teeth on the barbarian.
This, what is wrong with Americans that they think this is normal?
I know I'm not the target audience anymore, but I strongly dislike the dominant D&D culture, the popularity of wacky/funny D&D podcasts, and most things about this trailer.
Will the redhead have hairy legs and pits?
>Will the redhead have hairy legs and pits?
This.
Any racists in here?
>ITT: Amazon interns calling DnD kino “woke” because their lord of the rings show is trash
It's ALL shit
Pay attention you dumb shill.
Diversity casting in fantasy = shit. Every single time. No exceptions.
The only question we're asking is what anime are we going to watch instead of this wokeshit.
>multiracial party
its shit
It isn't. It's great. Because they did it PROPERLY.
They created a quality product that the audience would actually enjoy based on common fantasy tropes. The helmeted badass even keeps his helmet on the whole season.
Hollywood doesn't do that. Hollywood cast Black folk because the audience needs to be taught a lesson for using the N-word on the internet.
Black person Black person Black person.
can you please calm down anon
this amount of racism is bad for your blood pressure
I'm not the racist you fricking idiot.
The producers are.
They could have cast white guys in the classic image, but they needed to insert 21st century American politics into it.
Black person is just a word you dumb c**t.
>rapebait haremshit
ok
given how bad the reaction to GoT's finale and the various other "serious fantasy" adaptations has been, starting doing the genre as comedy is actually genius and brilliantly timed, assuming the movie is solid.
Amazon might actually end up getting genuinely upstaged.
what butthole thought John Bohnam's drum track needed to be replaced?
Needs more black people.
Remember: it will be revealed that all main charas are real people playing the game. Chris Pine is the Dad, Michelle Rodriguez is the Mom and Sophia Lillis is the daughter
It will be The Lego Movie again: Screencap this shit
In no world does combining mystery meat with an even more mysterious meat net you a pure irish daughter
Really surprised Pine signed up for this. I guess not having Star Trek still going is hurting his finances. Very very strange movie selection. He seemed above this crap.
summer fun movie is fun?
>inb4 ending cuts to real life, where the actors or other characters were playing this DnD campaign all along, and bonus points if it cuts after one of them shouts bullshit on the dungeon master for pulling some new thing out of his ass.
Looks like your average Marvel schlock, maybe it won't be so ba-
>Justice Smith
Nevermind, not going to watch. I fricking hate this annoying gay.
Way too whacky and trying too hard to be funny, lol just like those lol so random dnd games.
Pic related, still the best DnD movie
netflix tomboy is literrally keyleth kek
sauce?
Better this way than if it would take itself so seriously like LOTR
How about neither and make something that actually suits D&D
>But modern D&D IS pozzed.
Well you got me there.
>I'd definitely prefer to eat dogshit than catshit.
Or you could just not eat shit.
Or it could've been serious yet fun and sometimes funny instead of joke joke joke that makes it unable to take the world seriously.
The youtube comment section is already starting to look like pic related
>American flag account?
>definitely fashy intent
God Twitter users are more mind warped than Cinemaphileners, seriously
And they always win the consensus war. You can criticize the old but not the new.
>diversity
So diversity only comes in a form of the skin?
It's actually funny, how even dnd subreddits are in a consensus that they prefer mostly human parties. It took less than a decade for people to get tired of whacky races in their goups.
Black Pander was "the most diverse movie ever" because it's cast was 90% black.
They think we're racist because we say Black person instead of using euphemisms. But the meaning is the same.
critical role has been a disaster for the human race.
>for the human race
You mean in DnD right
no.
Why does it look so fricking cheap? Are all D&D adaptations cursed?
You're going to watch my movie, right anon?
No of course not. It's got Black folk in it.
Is she smoking a joint? Makes sense because Druid, but.
HOLYFRICKINSHIT NGL LOOK LIKE KINO IS BACK ON THE MENU FR FR :*~~)
I got a stiffy....
Looks like that dragons dogma game I'm playing
hope this Black person trash flops. sick of normalgays co-opting everything
remember this one?
Yeah it wasn't bad actually. It's a real shame the studios didn't give it the love it deserved.
BEHOLDERS AND MINDFLAYERS ARE PEOPLE JUST LIKE YOU AND ME
RACIALS ARE RACIST
DROW ARENT EVIL JUST MISUNDERSTOOD
SLAVERY DOESN'T EXIST
Don't worry, xirs, all the bad lore is gone. Now everyone can be a beholder and drow and orc and dragon and the game can be about sitting in a group therapy circle in the woods.
>The past will never retu-
OSR. Huh, that was easy.
>Any generalization about an entire race of people has the potential to be problematic
Unless it's a generalization aimed at lower case white people. These people are actualy racists pretending to be anti-racist.
And now, for the benefit of the newbie, we can see the shill has turned to anti-shilling.
There's literally like 20 anons actually on the board right now and 102 of them have posted ITT.
But sure, these completely random "negative" posts that don't even mention the casting are totally legitimate.
why does the dragon look like it's taking a massive load from my massive wiener?
>Thievery
Cool
>Girl transforms into monsters without shredding her clothes
lame.
Whats with Paladins always being black people in books/vidya/tv
It's all about contrast and subverting expectations, you'd expect paladins to be the the holy men of virtue, so you make them black for the "whoa that's unexpected" effect, same as having the "strong" character be a short skinny woman, you're playing with opposites.
Will we see black girls with frizzy hair like every d&d fan ever?
Why is the lgbtq so obsessed with d&d in general? (actually it makes sense, they can only roleplay their identity bullshit)
Because most of them are pathetic nerds with nothing going on.
What a shit party
It's marketing toward these people. Disgusting.
Those people are worth like 20 mil at most.
They're going to spend hours after this comes out figuring out all the non-racist reasons why it sucked.
And the shill will unironically think that proves me wrong somehow.
I am cautiously optimistic. I love Pine and love D&D. If they don't have Black folk and feminism overload it will be good.
Michelle Rodrigez is also fun
shame Justice Smith is in the movie, thought hollywood would have learned their lesson after pokemon.
Frick me I didn't realize that was her wtf?!
she's kinda dropped off the map since fast and the furious came back, I think because she got flamed online by trannies in her last leading role (she played a troony who was forced to transition as a punishment or something and they said it should have been a real troony instead of Michelle)
Nah she just got old.
Based on how she looks in this movie, I'd say she's on so much T that she technically qualifies as a troony at this point anyway.
I don't think we'll see another Michelle Rodriguez for a while, she's one of a kind.
>Michelle Rodriguez is also fun
Imagine if they were allowed to hire the woman who could actually pull off a barbarian look
She's put on a LOT of weight since deadpool. I like Gina but she's not looking after herself anymore.
Maybe, still looks better than Michelle, who also seems to be playing a sweethearted barbarian. She's more of a psycho rogue actress.
Oh n-
>people complaining about minority casting in fictional fearun where there’s no consistency with demographics or sub-species living on the mainland among the common races
Why are all of you so fricking autistic about this? It’s one thing to black-wash characters in WoT, GoT and Witcher, or to insert blacks into LotR, but Faerun has always had black people and a shit ton of other races that were basically allegories for real life black people and other real life minorities (look at Tieflings and Orcs).
You’re so obsessed I bet you’d get upset at having a lot of Asians and Blacks in a Stormlight Archive adaptation despite the fact they make up most of the cast aside from 3 prominent characters.
It's because it puts out a terrible precedent.
>It’s one thing to black-wash characters in WoT, GoT and Witcher, or to insert blacks into LotR
And why do you think this was allowed? Because of the (political) precedent.
>THEY'VE NEVER HAD RACES BE SEGREGATED BY RACE
>Chult exists literally as an unga bunga black containment nation
>Underdark is literally containment for the evil black elves
It's always cute when Cinemaphile tries to pretend its /tg/.
That's not Cinemaphile, that's a shill.
Drow are not African black. They're gray, blue, purple, not brown.
Tell that to Wizards of the Coast
>Throughout the 50-year history of D&D, some of the peoples in the game—orcs and drow being two of the prime examples—have been characterized as monstrous and evil, using descriptions that are painfully reminiscent of how real-world ethnic groups have been and continue to be denigrated. That’s just not right, and it’s not something we believe in. Despite our conscious efforts to the contrary, we have allowed some of those old descriptions to reappear in the game. We recognize that to live our values, we have to do an even better job in handling these issues. If we make mistakes, our priority is to make things right.
https://dnd.wizards.com/news/diversity-and-dnd
>Wizards of the Coast
Frick that clown circus.
Black person they own Dungeons and Dragons.
They're a corporate company buckling to trannies on twitter and their website for the sole reason that they have to hire said trannies to meet diversity quotas established by their investors.
I promise you, Gygax would have given zero shits about racial analogues in a game about throwing dice and killing monsters/
Why yes, I do enjoy the application of real-world politics in my fantasy escapism
Ino rite?
We're literally trying to go to this shit to get away from that shit, so they bring that shit to this shit completely and totally defeating the point. Thank god for the Japanese.
Yeah and they own it, it's theirs. So DnD is fricked now.
I can complain and do. Half the time that's exactly what they want tho, they want the "controversy" to generate "buzz".
Not in this case, in this case they're just morons.
>Yeah and they own it, it's theirs. So DnD is fricked now.
So where's the confusion? Frick WOTC, they're a bunch of moronic troony and cripple-enabling c**ts
In what world where a single spell can reverse any would in a matter of hours would you play as a wheelchair-bound fricktard who's extremely, completely useless at the sight of stairs? In a world where a reincarnation spell can make you into any other humanoid, why stay a troony? Hell, even polymorph is a decent option.
>DROW AREN'T AFRICAN BLACK...OKAY!?
>THEY'RE POLITICALLY CORRECT PURPLE!!!!
Kek, no.
>You’re so obsessed
Every single fantasy movie/tv show/cartoon made in the english speaking world has had Black folk in it. Every single one.
And you think WE'RE obsessed?
How about just make ONE fantasy movie properly. Just to try it out as an experiment.
Cast the paladin as a 6' blue eyed fabio
And the Wizard as an old white dude
And the tank as a fricking tank
And the rogue as some super lithe hottie
And the healer as cute blonde.
Why can't we have that just once?
"Just ignore it"
"It isn't real"
"Why are you so obsessed?"
"You don't have to watch it"
"The old rules are still there"
It's such a fricking double standard. They can complain, but you can't. They can criticize, but you can't. They can joke around, but you can't. They can change things, but you can't.
They're basically weaponizing your own arguments against you, albeit dishonestly. "Why are you obsessed? No YOU'RE obsessed".
Because there was no reason to complain about Faerun's moronic demographics on Cinemaphile until now you fricking moron
>Faerun has always had black people and a shit ton of other races
I'm reading the Darkwalker of Moonshae (literally the first book of the forgotten realms). There's one dark skinned guy, nobody is being racist or anything to him, he's literally part of the group, but you know the best part about it? He's not the native in the land, he came from Calimshan (the land based on Arabian countries). Now that's how you write diverse cast, not a Black personest Black person and the palest snowBlack person both living in a small village of 100 people.
Every single D&D movie was hot garbage. This one is no exception. They just burned more money for it.
>D&D, where races and classes join together to be a ragtag band of fortune seeking adventurers
>Lets make a movie with a human bard, a black human paladin, a human sorcerer and a human with horns druid. Oh and don't forget they are accompanied by a human rogue.
No don't make them look distinctive like maybe: A half-orc Barbarian, a aasimar/dwarf paladin, a half-elven druid and a halfling rogue. fricking lazy ass b***hes
I understand your point but half-elves are the worst example you could have possibly included, if a half-elf wears a rat they are suddenly as much a human as anyone else.
>a rat
a hat. I'm moronic.
I mean that's true, if they want something unique they could do a halfling which could I guess make for some funny moments? Like bandits attack them, and they don't take him serious until he turns into a xbox hueg bear
I wasn't aware that full orcs are playable, that's why I said half, but since it's a movie, it could work. Regarding the yt Video, that was actually nice.
>I wasn't aware that full orcs are playable
Any race is playable with the GMs permission.
But Orcs are an officially playable race in 5E, I think the book is Voldos guide to monsters or something.
I see Voldo's ravaged corpse is still being hauled around.
>A half-orc Barbarian
Why half arse it? Got the full orc. Yahzick writes better DnD in his spare time.
That's the best part about this movie though you dumb ass moron. I don't want a freakshit le special snowflake aasimars, le one of the good ones drow elves etc etc group.
dwarf and halfling are your good suggestions, go suck a dick with the rest
>party consists of all humans and maybe an elf
Yeah, this is going to be lazy shit.
What are you talking about, there's like one human in the party
Yeah the same way a human with wrinkles on their head is a an alien in Star trek.
wait a minute...
she kinda cute
Let's go find the shills new thread so I can continue to dunk on him.
When will these israelites learn not to put DnD in the title. Just set it in the world and put it on the poster. It isn't Marvel: Iron Man