Eragon Chads are gonna dab on Rings of Power and House of the Dragon.
 It's All Fucked Shirt $22.14 |
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It's All Fucked Shirt $22.14 |
Eragon Chads are gonna dab on Rings of Power and House of the Dragon.
Eragon Chads are gonna dab on Rings of Power and House of the Dragon.
It's All Fucked Shirt $22.14 |
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It's All Fucked Shirt $22.14 |
DERIVATIVE
That was a poorly writen work by some 15yo brat whose parents were publishers and pushed his fanfic tier """book""" everywhere.
Especially in the last book where he went supersayan in the span of 2 months, and then during the battle with the main villain learned he was his father.
This is toilet paper.
Where's your book?
Why aren't my parents in the publishing industry?
>during the battle with the main villain learned he was his father.
i thought his dad was the old guy from the first book
It was, that anon didn’t read the book
He also wrote himself into a corner by making the villain too overpowered so instead of coming up with some creative plan to beat him they just make him empathize with his victims, eragon then gets cucked and moves to a different continent. He took 5 books to build up to that.
I kinda liked it
The autistic magic system meant that he was able to use that spell on the bbeg because he didn't think of it as an "attack", he was trying to communicate.
Also all dictators live in their ivory towers and are ignorant of the sheer magnitude of the misery they bring to their people so beating an immortal god-king by blasting his head with that knowledge is cool.
The character is also a complete wet willy pussy throughout the books but it then makes sense how he was the only one who could beat the king.
oh good the power of friendship ending is so great .
>blasting his head with that knowledge is cool.
he stole that from the crow.
>use magic to determine the big bad is just mentally ill
>rewire his brain to understand the suffering and misery he caused
>is so beset by newfound emotions of grief and regret, he magically nukes himself
i love eragon's climax and frick anyone who whines otherwise. the ending was kinda shit and rushed but the actual confrontation with galbatorix was kino.
and the first book is shit BECAUSE it's written like a mid-tier movie. all they had to do was put it on screen, and we'd be discussing the semi-shitty Inheritance cycle movies from the mid to late 00's instead of shitting on the source material to cope with the inevitable horrific second attempt at adaptation
remember artemis fowl. remember how they took another easily adapted concept and figured they'd make Josh Gad narrate cool preteen stunts in a bale-batman voice
a big problem is how that's stolen from the crow.
>work by some 15yo
I think he began writing the first book at 15.
>whose parents were publishers
They just self published which is something literally anyone can do. It then got picked up by a bigger publishing company because people liked it.
>and then during the battle with the main villain learned he was his father.
You didn't read the book because this is not at all what happened.
if eragon learned he was his own father that would be pretty cool
Like in Lightyear (from what I heard about Zurg)? Hey, a connection to Disney
The books had neat concepts imo like his father and his half brother rival, the way magic was used, and his cousin being a chad
But it also had a ton of cringe like his romance felt so self-inserted it was insane
the romance was easily the worst part of the whole series, should have left it out entirely.
His non romance in which he's constantly rejected and embarrassed every time he makes an advance on a woman who could only see him as an extremely young child felt like the opposite of wish fulfillment/self inserting
I probably would've cared more if he put more effort into world-building instead of the 'Lord of the Rings was cool, I'll copy that'. The dwarves and elves were so plagarized it was almost nauseating.
The true name magic can't lie when speaking it was all copied from Earthsea but with genuine mysticism replaced by autistic technical rules.
He truly was a savant of plagiarism. Every last memorable detail was stolen from something.
Haha the magic system was so fricking trash
>Eragon my boy you are dragon rider u must choose
>Fireball and shit or legalese
Every fight then began with "Eragon tried all the aforementioned legal documentation that would have ended the fight immediately but the enemy filed a countersuit against Eragon's motion so he now drew a sword."
Remember in Eldest when he used the spare energy from 2 lifetimes in the ring to lift a mountain? I remember doing that math on that when I was a kid and determined that it would take more like 35,000 lifetimes.
No, but I do remember "standing on the plane infront of him stood Murtagh" USE ANOTHER FRICKING VERB
I remember being absolutely scammed reading this shit as a 13 yo.
This is the book that opened my eyes to to the loss of meaning through imitation. For that alone I remember it.
>learned the main villian was his father
yeah you didn't read the books
The books aren't amazing but I always found it inspiring that he was 15 (or something) when he wrote the first one. There are 25+ femoids who can barely get past a few pages of shitty fanfic.
There are also middle-aged pedophile supporters who have shat out garbage that sells in the hundreds.
>The books aren't amazing but I always found it inspiring that he was 15 (or something) when he wrote the first one. There are 25+ femoids who can barely get past a few pages of shitty fanfic.
its also an example of stagnation, he got worse with age, his first book is his best
>and then during the battle with the main villain learned he was his father.
Kino
>Disneypozz
ngmi
A book they could pozz and I wouldn't care the less
There are number of black characters in the books anyway. They wouldn't need to force anything. There's no Asians, Polynesians, Arabs etc. because that's just American thinking.
That’s what people said with wheel of time, and look how that turned out.
An ethnically homogenous village (that isn’t black) is haram; it has to look like modern day London no matter how moronic that is in context.
>They wouldn't need to force anything
that doesn't mean that they won't
Oh sweet summer child. We all said the same thing with WoT and them that unmitigated disaster came out and killed any good will.
Give me a call when the real YA kino is being adapted
NIXCHADS WE CAN'T STOP WINNING
fond memories of reading Keys to the Kingdom during high school
I’m glad that he refuses to sell out without direct creative powers, and clearly has enough of an idea how Hollywood works to avoid the
>oh sure, you can be a producer ;^)
Trap
I swear every Garth Nix book has some fricking weird fetishes in them, Keys is no exception.
This would make a terrific animated film. Some guy made a whole concept art portfolio for a hypothetical adaptation and I go back and look at it all the time when I need inspiration.
https://joshwongart.carbonmade.com/projects/6602724
Ugh I want this so bad. All of you shit plebs ITT defending goy slop like eragon (that anyone with a brain could instantly tell is schlock) need to read actual YA kino like the Abhorsen series.
>t. kerrigor
that ones shit too anon dont worry.
it will be terrible nostalgiabait, the books were already horrible
Furgays will love it
The last time that I watched Eragon, I was a child and my friend's house was on fire but we thought it was the dragon that was making the fire noises.
Stop posting on Cinemaphile, child ghost that died in a fire watching a shit movie.
neat
I remember the books being really, really bad even by young adults novels standards.
Have these books been in any way relevant in the past 15 years?
have you?
Shut up, Christopher.
>a fricking ERAGON renaissance
Is new material so hard to get
We're coming home, anon
blackrock doesn't want new material. they want successful franchises to have diversity injected into them. which means ugly Black folk.
you homies dont understan
finally
we will get the saphira porn we deserve
>implying she won’t have a human form
Dragon CGI too expensive, please understand
>Disney is smarr famiry company.
>Prease understan
>Implying furgays need a human form
Weren't the books fanfic tier trash?
No, they’re NOSTALGIC fan tier trash now
They were written by a elf loving homosexual, the elf wankery is extreme in them.
Elves suck
well the source material isn't great and the first attempt at a film wasn't good either so i don't care.
The Eragon movie is the first movie to prove that Diversity casting in fantasy = shit.
You mean Nasuada and Ajihad? They were black in the book too if I remember correctly.
110% it's pointedly mentioned every fricking time they appear
the entire rest of the cast is white
is either trolling or a genuine example of what reddit thinks Cinemaphile is like.
Half the dragons will be gays. gayons.
Who is going to be turned black?
The majority of Americans at these birth rates. Probably everyone in the film.
>Disney+
haha so it won't be good then
I read the first book in high school and while obviously derivative I liked it except for the writing itself.
read the first harry potter book in the last year of elementary school as part of some writing contest and beyond the comfy interactions and the world I thought it was shite
Man I wan to forget the early 2000s and all the Harry Potter clones that came out
and all the authors had that air of "i'm so much better than rowling" and every single one had a half dozen fans talking about how much better they were than harry potter, while non-morons just looked at them blankly.
Charlie bone was kino
>eeeee ragon
vs
>era gon
eeeeragon wins
You know the mouse will frick it up with wokeness. Don't pretend like they won't.
The books are already dogshit, theres nothing to ruin here
I like your attitude. Maybe Disney will even make it BETTER somehow
Eragon was never good, even within YA fantasy trash surely there must be better books to adapt?
It's not about the quality of literature. Look at the Harry Potter books. It's about popularity.
The Eragon books sold very well and were popular at the time.
Does anyone still care about it now though? It's time of being relevant with children is long over and it didn't convert them to adult fans like Potter did.
no. it will flop just like the movie flopped.
But Disney just needs to constantly crank out new goyslop for their streaming service regardless of whether or not anyone actually likes it or watches it, because they need to justify having their own exclusive streaming service.
its kinda the opposite, exclusivity means increased perceived value of the assets they leverage.
oh there's fans of adult artwork of saphira alright
hopefully that only grows with this new trash coming out
I guess the creator would know, based on that fat fur stuff
The first 3 books are decent, the 4th book is just godawful and doesn't wrap up anything in a satisfying or thought out manner despite running for 800 pages or so AFTER they kill the bad guy.
Highlight of the books is the alpha cousin Roran who liberates his village from the walmart brand orks and fantasy stormtroopers by beating the shit out of them with a basic carpenters hammer, and then goes around to other villages doing the same thing, building an army of peasants who follow him account of his legendary hammer beatings. He also fricks and marries the Stacey of his home village like the Chad he is and has a family of blonde aryan super children with her at the end of the books. Of course in the Disney adaptation he'll be played by a Black person to subvert another fantasy archetype despite Eragon being played by a white actor still and their relation making no sense
I don't care what anyone says, I loved the books.
nobody cares that you're moronic either
love is too strong a word but i've read and enjoyed far worse fiction.
What we need is an Everworld adaptation
Why does anyone care about Star Wars with dragons in a world where Game of Thrones and TLotR exists? Serious question.
nobody else has talking pet dragons
Eragon's dragons are sexier.
The creator certainly thinks they’re sexy
Holy shit when are the shareholders gonna tell these companies to stop losing them money?
And ofc we can guarantee it will be woke af, the developers will blame the fans on Twitter when it inevitably fails and the trannies will bend over backwards saying "n-no get woke go broke isn't real! Stop saying that!"
Lol
they aren't losing money though. they're creating assets to leverage, the value of which is determined by the recognizability of the brand and the budget of the production, and using the leveraged funds to create another asset, rinse repeat.
as long as blackrock keeps shoveling money at them for injecting Black folk into everything, they remain solvent despite the fact no one is actually watching any of the shit they're making.
DON’T TELL THEM TO STOP LOSING MONEY, THERE ARE PUTS THAT NEED TO PRINT AND EMPIRES THAT NEED TO BURN TO THE GROUND!!!
>n-no get woke go broke isn't real! Stop saying that!
It isn't? Both Wheel of Time and the Witcher did fine, in terms of profit.
The Witcher maybe, WoT is a complete wash.
I can concede the Witcher, though it could have been way bigger had it been adapted correctly.
Although you're straight up just a gaslighting shill if you're trying to say WoT wasn't an utter failure, considering how much money they put into it.
>gaslighting
Reddit
>WoT wasn't an utter failure, considering how much money they put into it.
anon, the fact they put so much money into it is what means it automatically didn't fail. because they'll get all of that back, immediately, from zero interest loans by leveraging it.
this is what the entire entertainment industry is doing. they're calling their expenses assets, then leveraging the assets. throw in blackrock bux and they don't need an audience. and that's just the most basic "creative accounting" they can perform.
>because they'll get all of that back, immediately, from zero interest loans by leveraging it.
can you explain how this works like I'm moronic
>get loan
>use "the wheel of time franchise" as collateral
>get money based on value of "the wheel of time franchise"
>devalue the franchise with said program
anon, they're not getting loans from people who are huge fans of wheel of time.
>WoT
>Fans
..and how does the lender make profit from this?
Anon is a moron and doesn't understand what he is posting.
no one understands the economics of end-stage capitalism. that's kinda the point of them.
value of the debt is added to bank's value.
Do you have any source for that? I'm asking genuinely, I have no idea how much the show made but I assumed it did well since they're making the second season. There's also this quote:
>“We can firmly say that Wheel of Time was the most watched series premiere of the year and one of the Top 5 series launches of all time for Prime Video,” Amazon Studios head Jennifer Salke
>watches premiere
>full of Black folk
>dropped
>year has barely no big series to premier
"MOST WATCHED SERIES PREMIERE OF THIS YEAR"
you can't even interpret basic doublethink?
>>“We can firmly say that Wheel of Time was the most watched series premiere of the year
Anon, if they don't give firm numbers, this means absolutely jack shit.
Inventing milestones is actually a sign of weakness, since if they had any numbers worth bragging about they'd be sure to mention them.
>if they don't give firm numbers, this means absolutely jack shit.
not to investors.
The investors are aware of the fact that they were siphoning off the budget to build infrastructure on location.
No, seriously, that was where the budget went.
and they don't care, investment returned, thanks to blackrock.
Which means the statement they made about viewers is meaningless, which is the point. WoT was NEVER meant to get viewers. It wasn't even made to appear to get them.
WoT was purely about killing a potentially competing product and building infrastructure, that's it.
don't care, investment returned.
like was said, the point was to create an asset and have an inflated production budget to launder money through. implying they cared about your precious franchise is nonsense.
Holy shit, an actual bot in the wild.
why would a bot be talking about the economics of post-audience hollywood?
I don't have a fricking clue, but that's clearly not a human posting.
and what makes you think that? because i'm telling you that you don't matter? because i'm impassively laying out the current facts of reality?
No, because the bot is clearly ignoring the content of the posts it's responding to in order to give a preprogrammed message.
>only a bot would dare say i'm wrong
we all know there are openAI chatbots running around, stealing jobs from hard working pajeets, but that's not how they post.
how you feel about what they did to wheel of time isn't relevant to anything. all it was to them was another franchise to turn into an asset to leverage, to get a budget to launder through. the entire entertainment industry is doing this, as the internet going mainstream killed their capacity to hold an audience.
The fact the bot clearly doesn't grasp that a post speaking specifically about how WoT wasn't about viewership or quality and keeps regurgitating the preprogammed message about viewership and quality shows that bender still needs a bit of work before he's ready to fool real people.
>the preprogammed message about viewership and quality
functional illiteracy is sad.
I accept your concession, R2.
feel free to re-read
and show me where there is anything about
> viewership and quality
>implying they cared about your precious franchise is nonsense.
That part. I can't conceive a human not grasping that caring about a franchise would include the quality of the product and maintaining. viewership required to sustain it.
Not to mention it is so fricking moronic a response to a post that includes
>WoT was NEVER meant to get viewers
>WoT was purely about killing a potentially competing product and building infrastructure
That I sincerely hope a bot made it.
we're basically saying the same thing, my nearly literate friend, i'm just going one step further and spiking your assertion that they cared about killing wheel of time.
when you call expenses, assets, and leverage them, the only way to frick up is to run out of ways to spend money. wheel of time was just next on the list of "marketable franchises" to leverage. or just a test-run for what they plan to do to lotr.
No, you fricked up and didn't bother reading the post you were responding to and then doubled down.
Just read the fricking posts next time, it's not hard.
you are wrong in thinking they cared about "killing" wheel of time. there is no longer competition in the entertainment industry. you also have very poor reading comprehension and should seek to improve that.
It really wouldn't be hard to shit out something that's better than the WoT show, that show's fricking atrocious.
if they don't care (because they don't), and their only goal is to create something that vaguely resembles content (which is their goal), then it will be impossible. because the entire entertainment industry, right now, is producing nothing but big budget versions of mockbusters. read: content that just barely ticks the necessary boxes for uninterested parties to deem it content, for blackrock to think of it as diverse.
WoT is such a weird fricking one to pick, tho, since they'd need to do excessive amounts of homework compared to most other fantasy stories just to get basic shit right. Ofc, they just didn't care, wasted time on stupid shit that didn't happen in the books and their budget made the world look laughably cheap, not to mention the awful casting.
>hey just didn't care, wasted time on stupid shit that didn't happen in the books and their budget made the world look laughably cheap, not to mention the awful casting.
so identical to what their lord of the rings is going to look like
It was the biggest series premier for Amazon that year not for everything. And, well, they had no other massive shows premiere that year. Any that did gained an audience after the premier like Invincible.
>We can in fact confirm Wheel of Time had a record breaking premiere and is now the most viewed fantasy series on Amazon Prime by Mexican Ostrich Ranchers
A groundbreaking achievement
In general I wouldn't put too much stocks into these kinds of statements, streaming services keep a very tight lid on how well their shows are doing and can say whatever they want.
>Disney
Eragonbros... i don't feel so good.
Unironically i’m more excited about this than fanfic ROP and mop hair HotD
I still remember being bothered by the film’s cliffhanger and going “that’s it?” I recall there being other books but I was still waiting for the next film, never came out. Also some obvious trivia that the film adaption was the last regular movie to be released on VHS in the states
christ you guys are boring, 80% of the posts here are saying the same thing, get new material
So according to you, the posts here match the quality of the books’ writing?
>show is about dragons
>dude just change the d to e lmao
>eragon
HAHAHAHA CANT MAKE THIS SHIT UP
I read this entire book series.
It's called the Inheritance cycle now after the 4th book, but it was originally supposed to be called the Brisingr Trilogy, but lil ol Paolomini couldn't wrap it up in three books, just like that HACK Gurrm.
Ask me anything.
No he never gets to frick the Hot Elf Princess, despite literally saving her and pining after her for decades and working with her in close proximity in a war/rebellion and literally being the chosen one hero who kills the Evil Emperor.
She still spurns him.
These books have major incel energy and that's a good thing, honestly. All the best art has incel energy. Very good Y.A. fiction for teenage boys, but almost comically derivative and hackery. The whole thing is literally just the original Star Wars trilogy set in a shabby clone of Tolkien's universe.
>decades
Not that long, but he still gets friendzoned while his dragon gets laid in front of him, which is fricking hilarious
Where did the story go wrong? What would've been a better ending?
I liked that the "hero" didn't get the girl he wanted. He was still a child compared to her and she found the thought kind of gross. It was original at least
I also liked how he beat the evil king with what the wild dragons were trying to convey to him with everyone's lives and concerns having meaning, and made him fricking kill himself, that was hilarious
ERAGON! OH NO
I was in Cinemaphile thread a month back and someone dropped the author's twitter where he answers questions and talks to people about the book. It would seem that a few times he has posted fat scaly art of his dragon he wants to frick. It's so fricking funny please go find it yourself because 1. it's real and 2. if you find it yourself it'll just hit harder
Here
https://twitter.com/paolini/status/503256211853029376
Holy shit dude
Fatfur chads, we just keep winning.
Remember when the XCOM Twitter shared fat fetish art of the viper enemy?
please post link
I was trying to find it but sadly it seems to have been deleted. It had the caption "remember that vipers come in all shapes and sizes commander" with this pic
https://e621.net/posts/705256?q=XCOM+overweight
If you’re telling the truth, that is fricking hilarious!
>remember that some vipers are landwhales, viper, but you can’t say shit because of body positivity
jesus christ.
never meet your heroes.
Why am I not surprised
maybe he just likes to share cringe fanart
No, the fatfur posts are by him and you can find more of him engaging in said fattening activities. My problem is he should have a side account for that, not the one he uses to talk about his books with kids.
wTF Bro??
so basically he's chrischan except not absurdly poor
The perfect fantasy show for the zoomers
>Onions Wars plot beat for beat
>Full of black grrrl power in later novels
>Protag never gets the girl
>Nasuda endlessly lusting over the young white bad boy in the last book
Nah, canceled instantly
HOL UP. I distinctively remember Eragon getting it on with Arya.
He leaves the country forever for stupid reasons at the end while she becomes queen.
What was the reason for leaving again? Was it because he became too powerful and would upset the balance of power in the world?
To hide the dragon eggs (or eldunaris? i dont remember)
Both of those reasons. He wanted to avoid temptation of political power and keep young dragons and their eggs safe.
>keep young dragons and their eggs safe.
Christ
because after finding out the dragon riders became complacent due to living in their isolated ivory towers and eventually led to galbatorix, he decided to raise the new dragon riders in isolated ivory towers.
His dragon unironically gets closer than he does
She was like a thousand years old and found the idea of romance with a child was disturbing
She was only a hundred or something
A 100 year old getting with a teenager is still gross
Says who?
That's where your wrong. It's hot as hell.
>HE WAS 19 YOU SICK FRICK
Willow Chads already won
It's gonna be pozzed as frick, the age of honest adaptations is long gone.
Maybe they'll make an honest adaptation out of this knowing it will be bad. Then they can use it as something to point at and say "See, this is why we need to change things :)"
>thinking they’ll deprive lil’ goblino out of his chance to feel the evils of racism and be a victim
How could you be so heartless?
The fact it’s doomed from the start is a bonus to these people
Can you stupid fricking morons who obviously don't know SHIT about the source material stop saying
>hurr durr it will eb bad durr durr it'll be pozzed
YOU DO KNOW THIS IS THE WORKS OF NEPOTISM AND FURgayGISM RIGHT?
>YOU DO KNOW THIS IS THE WORKS OF NEPOTISM AND FURgayGISM RIGHT?
You know it's really not that hard to get a book published, right? Even if your parents aren't publishers? I'm not gonna pretend these books were particular works of art or anything, but they were obviously well written/entertaining enough to appeal to a large audience of young adults at least until the last book which totally tanked it The source material isn't that bad, Disney will ruin it doing their typical modern Disney things
it was vanity published, then they bought thousands of their own copies to get a spike of publicity, then republished said copies, then a bigger publisher picked it up and basically did the same thing.
>Source: my gaping anus
oh, hi paolini
Weird way to talk to a guy quoting your gaping anus
>Eragon is getting a second chance
>still no Bartimaeus kino
>Eragon is getting a second chance
More like a second buttfricking. If I were you I wouldn't wish for an adaptation of my favorite series in this day and age
>eragon is his favorite series
i keep forgetting there are literal morons on Cinemaphile
I wouldn't really say it is anymore but yeah, there was a time in my childhood when it was my favorite series. I might've outgrown it but it doesn't mean I won't die a little inside when it gets the Disney treatment they way everything else from my childhood did
for most people, even kids in the target age range, eragon was the first time they realized something was badly written.
When they got to the last book, yeah. Still had like 6 years to enjoy it before then
>When they got to the last book
you mean the first page
Elaborate on why the first 3 books are bad then
because they're written by a 15 year old, and non-morons could tell immediately.
Ah so you didn't even read the books and are just shitposting. Gotcha
not sure how you missed the scenario of
>be 12
>pick up eragon
>read first page
>wow this is bad
>put it back
but its kinda clear you're moronic.
>Be 12
>Pseud af
>Try to read le biggest book in library to affirm my place as le smart kid
>No pictures, can't even make it past first page
>Get pissy, go back to reading Naruto & Deltora Quest
>Seethe hard about how intellectually inferior it made me feel still
>Rant on a Mongolian Throat Singing Forum how the author's a hack who had rich parents to make myself feel better
You definitely got the last laugh in the end, anon
you're really just hammering home the idea you're a moron.
I don't even need a wojak for this one, your seething non response says it all
>out yourself as a moron
>get laughed at
>make up greentext story to "own" the meanie who called you the r-word
>laughter intensifies
>y-you're s-seething!
there's no real point to this tard-bro. 12 and 13 year olds of average intelligence were calling out eragon as being badly written. you weren't one of them, indicating mental moronation.
How would you know the opinions of other 13/14 year olds tho when you had no friends at that age and just sat in a corner doing naruto signs, pseud?
>y-you had no f-f-f-friends!
ya know tards didn't hang out with the normal kids very often, right?
Sure we did, we had our own little community and our own special schoolbus. Not that you needed stuff like that to stand out when you had that dope dragon necklace you got from the Deltora Quest book set. Shit like that got you mad pussy, I'll bet
>Sure we did
>we
so thanks for admitting you're a moron.
... so was it that you were a pseud or that you had asperger's, actually?
I remember that I read these books, but I have zero recollection of what it was about
Magicians are basically noblemen/politicians that summon demons in Imperial era Britain, and the main character is an apprentice that gets accidentally wrapped up in a Secret Plot™. The demon he summons is a snarky butthole who may or may not have a soft spot for the protagonist.
Really amazing setting that has unique worldbuilding, but combined with traditional demonology mythos. The kind where you draw a magic circle and if one of the symbols is wrong, the demon escapes and kills you. There's different planes of existence you need special equipment to see. It's great.
When will Cirque du Freak get another chance? It would work so much better as a show than it did as a movie
It got a full manga series, that's arguably a better outcome.
Nobody is ever going to do a faithful adaptation of Shan's books because it requires actual Irish actors and Irish settings and that's too much effort.
Uhm Eragon chads got dabbed on hard last time.
And the same generation got dabbed on again with Artemis Fowl.
Here's your Arya, bro
insane, people saying that this is something that disney will defile are crazy, it is like saying that disney could ruin sonichu
>disney could ruin sonichu
chrischan is black and not autistic. now what?
it is improved
It is IMPROVED, yes, but at what cost. Then it’ll have no identity
Cuck shit
Loved the series, never been so disappointed by a movie adaptation in my life.
If they had given it the movie it deserved it would've been as big as Harry Potter
>If they had given it the movie it deserved it would've been as big as Harry Potter
uh no sweetie.
Deltora Quest adaption when? Always saw this shit around but only ever the first Eragon book in libraries.
It's already got an anime adaption
I tried to read those as a kid. I liled at first but around the 4th or 5th book I realized The two dudes never accomplished anything on their own and the girl basically solved the plot for every book
If I could have one dark gritty brutal ya tv series adaptation it would be pic rel
Holy shit. Completely memory-holed this series. The first book was utter kino, the second was hot garbage, the third was good, plague was meh, but Fear and Light were great.
I am now remembering all the kids books I read back in the day. Does anyone know "The Twilight circle" series? Basically an albino kid born in 1900 prophecised to live 100 years (cant be killed before) fights the illuminati and intermixed with all sorts of real life events. Everything from the great depression, WW2 to the tokyo subway bombings are all part of the illuminatis masterplan.
Probably to schizo to be adapted.
I wanna put my dick in that dragon's nostril
didn't realise chris himself browses Cinemaphile
Imagine how warm and slick it is inside.
They should turn it into an isekai to appeal to the weenie audience
INCOMING DRAGON BUSSY AND HUMAN MALE KINO
step aside virgin elves and diversity Black folk of the rings
chad kink coming right through
When did you first realize fantasy, except Tolkien, gives you nausea
>tfw the movie adaptation was so shit they literally couldn't adapt the sequels due to the amount of changes they made
I've been thinking of rereading these books for awhile, and this news finally gave me the impetus to do so...
Eragon is so much worse than I remember. Holy shit. I made it about 35% of the way through before giving up.
Why
Of all the YA Fantasy series they chose one of the worst
The worst so far
Nah, there's way worse
You could probably randomly pick one of those gay fanfic rewrites by some fat femoid and it's gonna be leagues worse than Eragon
how am i supposed to enjoy it if murtagh isnt as cute anymore
shit book anyway
I remember reading this and eldest. my library never got around to getting the third so I kinda lost interest. Looking back the star wars in a fantasy setting plot is painfully obvious. Well paolini moped for 10 years about not getting it right with the movie, now he's got a 2nd chance to frick it up on his own terms.
One day, my child.
One day.
Netflix Axiom's end may happen then
>Haunter Pussy's book
Is it as bad as it looked?
A friend got me to read the first book all those years ago and for some reason the detail I remember most vividly is the bit of backstory where the evil king won his decisive battle against his former ally by kicking him in the nuts.
The only thing I remember is Eragon training naked together with an old elf. It was quite awkward. Can't remember whether it was the first or second book.
I never read these books but I remember in my daycare some autistic kid loved them and threw crazy fits all the time over stuff. He had to get restrained once by the teachers.
It's funny how many homosexual scalies are defending this garbage book series and are gonna shill the awful Disney show when it comes out
Gotta get more fat fur content somehow, I guess
There aren't many shilling it
eh, had fun reading it when i was young
then i was hyped for the movie which got shilled with a bookmark in the latest book and i didnt even went to see it bec it got absolutely trashed by critics
literally every single thing they make's gonna have some kind of repulsive cretin in it as a main character.
if you're coated in shit, you're coated in shit, it doesn't really matter what's underneath anymore.
They are going to turn chad Roran Stronghammer into a cuck
>Chad strong man
>Leader of resistance
>Marries the beautiful white woman in the end
They'll make him a Black person obviously
eragon is among the worst series i ever read, while the first book is ok, it rips off popular titles, at lest it rips off them half competently, but the sequels are so bafflingly bad it defies reason.
Christopher Paolini is an example why you dont praise kids too much, they dissapear up their own ass and he though hes the best fricking thing since sliced bread, meanwhile he was a private schooled moronic shut in who had 0 knowlage on any topic he attempted to cover in his book. Fricking use google you dumb frick, research a topic you dumb spoiled gay, what the frick.
It was the early 2000s anon
Google wasn't what it was today
Wikipedia was still in it's infancy
And you could find CP on YouTube
You don't need to google the Star Wars trilogy to understand how much he ripped it off. Down to the main character having a blue sword and gay Jedi shit going on.
then buy an encyclopedia, fricking move your ass off the chair and look up where a real blacksmith lives and look up what the frick he even does
there is inexcusable amount of ignorance shown in the sequels that come from someone with no life experience who never traveled and never worked manually in his life
Michael Crichton spend years researching shit he writes about, that fat frick George R. R. Martin even does it, Sandersom while being just as fat also is very strict about asking people for help and researching shit
it annoys me to no end how lazy Paolini books are, the lack any form of editing or multiple drafts, in fact the pacing of the series is so shit it could only come from somone who wasnt told "no"
>Michael Crichton
He was like, really smart wasn't he? Basically shopped around Havard between biology, medicine and English lit. And it shows in his stuff. Everything is so very solid that any movie adaptation needs to dumb it down for the audience
not really, the idiot didnt even know dinosaurs had feathers and were all fluffy and gay and shit
But wasn't that only discovered after the book was published?
ye lol, its crazy how much better his books are
they arent, only few smaller species were fetheared, we have skin fossils fragments for a lot of big species and it was just scales
Name 5 issues
wasnt paolini like 15 when he wrote the first book
He was also homeschooled
>wasnt paolini like 15 when he wrote the first book
which is ironic since its the only one that holds up, rest he was way into his 20ties when he wrote them, once he stopped copying other works his flaws came into full light, last book is like a self parody or some kind of "frick you" to his own fans, you can tell he couldnt take the pressure.
Eldest was neat.
>P on YouTube
how do you know?
yeah google was an actually good search engine back then
Amazing. I look forward to the elves not only being insufferable as ever, but also being 50-80% black.
if they really follow the book its gonna be an utter kino. the later books are insane because the stupid author tries to insert adult or heady themes into moronic childrens story. my favorite is eragon creating a goverment that sets up magic gestapo right after comming iinto power. and forcing the legit king to give up his claim under threat of extreme violence
>The series ends with the fanfic ending where Eragon and his dragon transport into an alternate dimension, the dragon gets harpooned immediately by a bunch of Elves on a warship, and Eragon realizes his powers don't work anymore as he's enslaved and made to row on one of the ships.
now now anon, the ending is pathetic enough already. eragon is too much of ab***h to get the elven princess and just watches her dragon fricking his. its pathetic and hilarious
I just hope the dragon is hot
I wonder if they’re gonna make the dragons fat like in his tweet
i wonder if they will do belgariad or elenium one day. as far as i know edding despises adaptations, but he is going to die one day
At least I don't feel bad about this the way I feel bad about them ruining Percy Jackson.
Thank God my YA novel series of choice was Cirque du Freak and I never had to worry about this
I also really liked Leviathan which will also never get ruined because literally no one read it.
I read Elric and John Carter as a kid.
Hopefully they'll remain unBlack personized until I die
>John Carter
based
You know it fren
shame they fricked the adaptation so much because visualy it was pretty cool. but i guess it would be impossible to put good ol john on the screen because he is just too based and doesnt frick around
I remember the comic didn't pull any punches, since he's an out-and-out ex-Confederate vet who kills three Union guys in a bar brawl at the start of the story.
>impossible to put good ol john on the screen
It very much is
I mean, he's a sympathetic Confederate captain.
He's also a Chad white that regularly kills colored folks and loves his wife
Wouldn't fly in Currently Year+7
I don't know how anyone old enough to post on this site can still care about Percy Jackson. It's pure schlock. Far worse even then Eragon.
I think that's a little unfair.
Percy Jackson, Eragon, it's all trash. Unbelievable that people defend YA. Even as a kid I was like "Damn this shit is moronic."
I wanna write something balls-to-the-walls, intensely, extravagantly, safety-helmetedly, short-bussingly, exceptionally moronic. How do I start?
What's the name of that series of books where witches are aliens with four jaws, people travel to other star systems by flying through space, and halfway through the books every kid on earth awakens magic powers?
Personally I'm just using Excel to put my ideas somewhere.
>people travel to other star systems by flying through space
wow how outlandish
>fricking Eragon
>not pic rel
we are living in the worst timeline
Soon my son
I want to write a YA novel too. Is there any pitfalls I should avoid?
Don't have a war arc
It’s all gonna take place in one town. Maybe a brief civil war at the very end.
The books weren't even good and yet the movie still managed to make me think "holy shit the book is way better".
On the bright side at least they'll just be shitting on something that's already shit so there's no real loss. Hell, they may even manage to make it "good".
I wonder if even Disney can make Empress Theresa good?
i wanted this but now it's to late
Make your own like with Junji Ito and Frankenstein
didn't this b***h homie say we'll get a new book?
I remember going to that fansite all the time. Shurt'ugal or something
this book series has a mysterious deus ex machina character (the witch lady with the cat) that gives the main character advice and knowledge that he would never have known otherwise and it is never explained at any point who she really is
it was so bad that the author apologized in the afterword for not including any explanation
needless to say this will be complete garbo
didnt he do a lot of this crap since he wanted to do a companion series he ended up never doing?
he made such beginners mistakes its hard to believe he had an editor at all