Eragon is getting a television show, how hyped are we?

Eragon is getting a television show, how hyped are we?

  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >what if...star wars, but written by a 5 year old...and dragons

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      There was some unironically cool stuff in there too. The Razac being super predators that chased humans out of their original home, the soldiers that had their ability to feel pain or disobey orders, even the shades were all cool stuff that was new to me when I read it. Also Jill Valentine was hot as fuck

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Checked
        I remember a plot thread I liked from book 2 onward was shell-shocked king Orrin of Surda, who went from being a lovable naive scientist to a grizzled veteran who gradually stops caring about anything except the friends he lost and his birthright, only to see it stolen by a sassy black girl in the end. By the end of book 4, he ends up being so jaded and disgusted by everyone around him that you can't help but sympathize.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >By the end of book 4, he ends up being so jaded and disgusted by everyone around him
          Kek, I remember that.
          >we dwarves and elves all agree that humans should choose their own leader
          >but if you choose Orrin instead of Nasuada we'll go to war with you and kill you all, hehe

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I remember the author tried to portray Orrin in a negative light by sidelining him, overruling his decisions and making him into a drunkard, but it didn't really work and kind of has the opposite effect, everyone else just look like they're being assholes to him for no reason.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >By the end of book 4, he ends up being so jaded and disgusted by everyone around him
          Kek, I remember that.
          >we dwarves and elves all agree that humans should choose their own leader
          >but if you choose Orrin instead of Nasuada we'll go to war with you and kill you all, hehe

          I remember the author tried to portray Orrin in a negative light by sidelining him, overruling his decisions and making him into a drunkard, but it didn't really work and kind of has the opposite effect, everyone else just look like they're being assholes to him for no reason.

          kek is this why disney+ is picking this shit up? i bet nasuada is gonna be a main character and she's gonna end up actually being a secret rider or take jormunders place and be the one to steal the eggs or some shit. i guarantee its gonna be something along those lines

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I mean, she's a black girl. As big as her role was in the books, you can be certain it's going to get inflated even more.

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Man I remember this fag chris paolinis parents were both profession editors and basically got his book published for him, using the fact that a kid "wrote" it to add fuel to the marketing machine. What a stupid clown nepotism world we live in.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      except he did write it and his parents were impressed

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      except he did write it and his parents were impressed

      The parents published the book but they were a tiny company and Paolini had to go on a self funded """book tour""" that only paid off when some random girl took a liking to the book and brought it to her bigshot children author uncle's attention

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Just so you know, he makes minecraft videos on youtube now
      I'm... not joking...

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    the fuck is this?
    i never knew this fantasy existed

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Shit fantasy book from the early 00's allegedly written by a child. It had a terrible movie adaptation already in like 2006

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Who pushed it? His parents?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I liked the books.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I love the absolute seethe that Eragon caused.
        All these old losers whose books never succeeded or were butthurt that a young guy wrote a book.

        >what if...star wars, but written by a 5 year old...and dragons

        Why did the author just steal Aragorn's name from LOTR?

        i read the first book and also watched the movie when it came out, shit was really bad and it was marketed as "a young person wrote it" and kids read it because they wanted to be inspired to write their own book too. it sucks so bad. its like impressive for a kid but its by no means any good.

        theres a scene where the dragon accidentally singes the main charector with fire breath.

        And the maincharector complains. and the dragon literally says "imagine if everytime you moved your elbow to a certain angle you shot fire, how would that make you feel?"

        and the main charector literally apologizes. its a fucking mess.

        See? Just a bunch of losers who have never accomplished anything seething over the fact that a younger person made a successful book series.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Get off /misc/, Christopher

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          wow wtf this post changed my mind eragon is a good book now!

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          they're shitty YA novels. what exactly is there to seethe about?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Terrible vidya adaption of the movie as well
        I liked the books although I never read the 3rd (4th? whichever one was bsinger it released after I got caught up and I never went back)

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          GBA version of Eragon was surprisingly good but only because it took a lot from the books

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >gba game is better than the home console games
            many such cases

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's very bad. I got it for Christmas as a kid and dropped it. You can tell it's written by a teenager.

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    No, no no no

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Doubt we will get a Princess Arya that hot now which was the only reason to watch it

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      she was a tease!

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Book Arya
      >olive skin, green eyes, long black hair, wears tight fitting black leather outfit, is badass as fuck, can easily beat the shit out of dozens of humans at once, you can immediately tell she's an elf when you see her
      Movie Arya
      >blonde human looking damsel in distress in a white dress

      they fucked her up, just like every single other thing

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >got whitewashed
        who knew the Eragon movie was fucking based?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Book Arya
          >olive skin, green eyes, long black hair, wears tight fitting black leather outfit, is badass as fuck, can easily beat the shit out of dozens of humans at once, you can immediately tell she's an elf when you see her
          Movie Arya
          >blonde human looking damsel in distress in a white dress

          they fucked her up, just like every single other thing

          I think she was supposed to be close to asian, I always thought the Elves in Eragon were inspired by japs for some reason.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            It just reads like Paolini had yellow fever, but tbf he was nerdy white teen

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why did the author just steal Aragorn's name from LOTR?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Because he did

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I thought it was just the word Dragon with a letter changed.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        it is, he had a thing for using older language like norse and latin, and i believe he figured the word eragon means that it doesn't matter when you read it, it displaces you in time.

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'm still seething that the series ended without at least a kiss between Eragon and Arya.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      that shit blue balls the audience so hard, like dude just saved the last bastion with a fucking dragon, doesn't plant a wet one on her

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      are you serious? i never read the last book it never got resolved?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Arya tells Eragon that if he still loves her in a few decades time she'll hook up with him. Then Eragon leaves Alagaesia forever while she remains behind to be queen of the elves.

        At least Saphira gets some. Arya gets a male dragon and Saphira bangs him literally 5 seconds after meeting him.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No lmao they aped the LOTR ending and eragon leaves for parts unknown

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          he goes to set up a dragon jedi temple with his new dragon eggs.
          he negotiated a new contract with dragons that includes elves and dwarves and gives them an egg too before leaving.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I think its because Chris Paolini is one of those really uptight Christian dudes that thinks kissing is the devil unless you're married.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Then he should have pulled a Sanderson and had them get married

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          That fucking virgin doesn't know enough about romance to even conceptualize how people even fuck let alone get married.

          I know those types of people and intimacy terrifies them.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I always assumed he's atheist considering the elves he jerks off so much also are ones.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I'm not 100% but I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that he was a well behaved little church kid. Probably not hardcore Bible thumpers but he definitely lived an extremely sheltered life. From what I remember of the book it definitely reads like that.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        He is a fedora atheist, that's why his Elves are also fedora atheists. They're also vegans and furfags. Can you guess why?

        One of Tortellini's characters is a blue furred wolf-elf who women are uncomfortable being around because he emits a musk that makes them horny and no I am not making any of that up.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Oh idk I must have misread or misheard some shit. Maybe its because a bunch of weird church kids I knew growing up liked the book. I haven't read that shit or thought about that autist since the year the book came out which was almost 20 years ago. I barely remember the story too I just remember the characters being massive gays.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Book written by a beta handles romance like a beta

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      No kiss but there was a joke about Eragon trying to look up her skirt iirc

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >tfw they got drunk together on some magical Elvish booze and were clearly going to fuck but then the Empire attacked
        I'm still mad

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I don't remember that but it sounds like something Galbatorix would do. I always thought Eragon should have got with the Varden leader girl though, she was cool

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Should have ended with Eragon violently impregnating Arya via mating press while Broms force ghost smiles and nods in thr corner.

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >its canon Eragon never fucked and died a virgin
    It's just not fair,

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Jesus Christ up in heaven.

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I lost all hope when I saw Artemis Fowl.

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    At least somehow Series of Unfortunate Events turned out decent.

  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I've always wanted a video game sequel to this series where you make your own dragon rider and get your own dragon.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      that would be sick. i liked how the game had drop in drop out local multiplayer co-op. all games need that.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I am embarrassed to admit how much I liked its video game adaption back then.

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    so which characters are getting diversified?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I hope none. There are two black major characters already.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >he thinks already having black characters and diverse separate cultures means there won’t be race lifts
        Anon, I…

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The main character will be a black guy. Love interest is a white guy.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      they'll make whatshisname a Wise Black. Or maybe the blue dragon will speak in ebonics.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Dammit, whatshisname was my favorite character, I used to masturbate to them all the time.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >it's spelt Saphyra chud!

        I have to be fucked in the head, because I find the idea of dragon with a personality of sassy black girl very funny.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Why would they make Saphira speak in ebonics? Nobody speaks in ebonics in House of the Dragon or The Rings of Power. Why would they do it for an Eragon movie, unless they're intentionally aiming the movie at kids?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          inclusion nyukka.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Talking dragons are always sassy black people. Blame Disney.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >it's spelt Saphyra chud!

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    When I was a kid I pronounced Eragon as "E-rag-on" and I still feel stupid over that

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      some people pronounce ISOs as "ice-o" so dont feel too embarrassed chief

  15. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    i read the first book and also watched the movie when it came out, shit was really bad and it was marketed as "a young person wrote it" and kids read it because they wanted to be inspired to write their own book too. it sucks so bad. its like impressive for a kid but its by no means any good.

    theres a scene where the dragon accidentally singes the main charector with fire breath.

    And the maincharector complains. and the dragon literally says "imagine if everytime you moved your elbow to a certain angle you shot fire, how would that make you feel?"

    and the main charector literally apologizes. its a fucking mess.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's very bad. I got it for Christmas as a kid and dropped it. You can tell it's written by a teenager.

      Maybe its because I read it when I was also a young teenager, but I loved the books alot. I haven't read the last one since I haven't read anything for like 15 years now, is it worth to read it?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        IIRC the final volume is a bit disappointing with some good moments, probably not worth reading unless you read the whole series again and want closure.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Maybe its because I read it when I was also a young teenager, but I loved the books alot.
        You really do need to read it between the age of 7-14 otherwise don't even bother picking it up. That age range makes it a lot more special then it actually was.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That's not that far removed from some liberal rhetoric today

  16. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The series should have ended with Eragon becoming the immortal emperor of the land and banging Saphira every day until she somehow gets knocked up and creates a dynasty of half-elf/dragon hybrids.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This. Eragon had more chemistry with Saphira than he did with the generic elf bitch. But that's too fucking out there for normies to accept, so I understand why it didn't end that way and why probably no fantasy story ever will outside of some obscure porn game or erotica.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        stupid and gay, you should feel bad

  17. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Can we get a Lagolas and Gimly buddy cop style spinoff too?

  18. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    sienna guillory was hot in it.

  19. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I liked the first book, although I stopped reading them after the fourth
    I remember I started reading the books because of the movie, that final fight between the dragon and the black cloud was the most epic shit when I was a kid

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      jesus christ

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        what?

  20. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    *Ardwen - Arwen
    *Isenstar - Isengard
    *Mithrim - Mithrim or mithril
    *Angrenost - Angrenost
    *Morgothal - Morgoth
    *Elessari - Elessar
    *Furnost - Fornost
    *Hadarac - Harad
    *Melian - Melian
    *Vanilor - Valinor
    *Eridor - Eriador
    *Imiladris - Imladris
    *Undin - Fundin/Udun
    *Gil'ead - Gil'Galad
    *Ceranthor - Caranthir
    *Isidar - Isildir
    *Oromis - Orome
    *Eragon - Aragorn

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      FYI Christopher Tortellini was not 15 when he wrote his shitty Star Wars/LotR fan fiction, he was 15 when he "imagined" it. He actually wrote it between the ages of 18 and 19. Then unfortunately for mankind his wealthy and doting parents self-published their autistic spawn's literary abortion instead of leaving it to languish on fanfiction.net where it rightfully belongs. Then they went on a book tour, lying to everyone about how old the author was when he wrote it and hyping it as the work of a "prodigy" until it was picked up by a mainstream publisher and became a bestseller.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Since they were editors they probably wrote most of the book themselves. 18 year olds don't know fuck all about the world and couldn't write anything as good as Eragon. Not saying its good but you can tell it was heavily edited and revised, probably by his parents.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >as good as Eragon

          Fucking purple prose is not good writing.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            He’s still got a point imo, writing an entire book is outside the scope of an 18 year old. The fact he didn’t write anything other than that franchise until he was much older supports what he’s saying. He only recently wrote another book, in his 30s.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >writing an entire book is outside the scope of an 18 year old

              Teenagers have literally written fanfiction longer than War and Peace dumbass. Anyone can write. You can write, you're doing it right now

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                i am keking so hard at everyone saying he couldnt write the book at 18, he fucking wrote it at 15. is everyone so fucking incompetent now? get off the internet you degenerating fags

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                He wrote the book at 19 you stupid gay. He """""imagined""""" it at 15.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I didn't say it was good writing, I just said that a 15 or 18 year old or whatever generally isn't a good enough writer to make something like that. If he started pumping out other shit after Eragon then you could say that he is a budding artist learning his craft but that wasn't the case just like what

            He’s still got a point imo, writing an entire book is outside the scope of an 18 year old. The fact he didn’t write anything other than that franchise until he was much older supports what he’s saying. He only recently wrote another book, in his 30s.

            said.
            His parents probably helped him with almost everything in that book. If he did it by himself that book probably would have been incoherent as fuck. The whole plot is clearly by someone with no life experience
            >also writing fantasy is easy as fuck any retard can pull some autistic make believe world out of their ass and self insert themselves as the main character

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >also writing fantasy is easy as fuck any retard can pull some autistic make believe world out of their ass
              Is it? Seems pretty difficult to me to create a coherent worldbuilding, laws and mechanics of magic systems and shit.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >laws and mechanics of magic systems and shit

                Oh and that's another thing. People praise Eragon's magic system for it's "originality". Too bad it's a word for word ripoff of the magic from A Wizard of Earthsea. Yeah if

                *Ardwen - Arwen
                *Isenstar - Isengard
                *Mithrim - Mithrim or mithril
                *Angrenost - Angrenost
                *Morgothal - Morgoth
                *Elessari - Elessar
                *Furnost - Fornost
                *Hadarac - Harad
                *Melian - Melian
                *Vanilor - Valinor
                *Eridor - Eriador
                *Imiladris - Imladris
                *Undin - Fundin/Udun
                *Gil'ead - Gil'Galad
                *Ceranthor - Caranthir
                *Isidar - Isildir
                *Oromis - Orome
                *Eragon - Aragorn

                hasn't tipped you people off Tortellini is not very creative.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >it's

                er, its rather

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I disagree you have so many fantasy works to pull ideas from, its basically just picking and choosing which ideas you want to incorporate. I bet If you gave yourself a whole day to sit and daydream you could come up with something equally as compelling, or even more so, than Eragon. Its the equivalent of writing some capeshit. Tolkien and Lewis are special because they actually explore ideas and created a mythos. Everything that came after it just mimicked what they did.
                Eragon is nothing more than capeshit on paper and that's how 90% of fantasy is.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >The sad truth

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Oh and for his part Christopher Tortellini thinks that he writes on par with the Nobel prize winning author Seamus Heaney and Tolkien "at his best" (because naturally regular Tolkien isn't good enough). See for yourself:

        >The branch Roran had added to the fire burst asunder with a muted pop as the coals underneath heated the gnarled length of wood to the point where a small cache of water or sap that had somehow evaded the rays of the sun for untold decades exploded into steam.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          What the fuck is that greentext lmfao

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >that whole sentence
          I fucking hate the fantasy genre so much

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Fantasy authors only do this shit because Tolkien's work had flowery language and they always think they have to copy what he did or else their own story won't be good.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Tolkien did not write purple prose you subliterate moron. You'd know that if you'd read any Tolkien.

            He’s still got a point imo, writing an entire book is outside the scope of an 18 year old. The fact he didn’t write anything other than that franchise until he was much older supports what he’s saying. He only recently wrote another book, in his 30s.

            >He only recently wrote another book, in his 30s.

            He finished the fourth book of his trilogy in his 30's. He showed no progress from book 1 to 4. He's probably 40 now.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Tolkien's writing is undoubtably flowery you pretentious dick. Go re-read his stuff and see for yourself.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >Go re-read his stuff and see for yourself.

                I don't have to, I know it isn't. If it was you'd be posting excerpts here to prove me wrong but you can't and you won't. Please try to find my ANYTHING from Tolkien even beginning to approach this level of shit however:

                >The branch Roran had added to the fire burst asunder with a muted pop as the coals underneath heated the gnarled length of wood to the point where a small cache of water or sap that had somehow evaded the rays of the sun for untold decades exploded into steam.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I never argued once that Tolkien's writing is as bad as Paolini's. My original comment was that Tolkien wrote flowery prose, and so every fantasy author does the same thing because they figure it's what Tolkien did so they have to do it too or else their work won't be taken seriously. But here's something from Tolkien's work for comparison.

                >And still Meriadoc stood there blinking through his tears, and no one spoke to him, indeed none seemed to heed him... And behold! there lay his weapon, but the blade was smoking like a dry branch that has been thrust in a fire; and as he watched, it writhed and withered and was consumed. So passed the sword of the Barrow-Downs, work of Westernesse. But glad would he have been to know its fate who wrought it slowly long ago in the North-Kingdom when the Dunedain were young, and chief among their foes was the dread realm of Angmar and its sorcerer king. No other blade, not though mightier hands had wielded it, would have dealt that foe a wound so bitter, cleaving the undead flesh, breaking the spell that knit his unseen sinews to his will.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Not flowery. Stilted actually, but this was being written a 100 years ago by a man who wrote academic treatises on linguistics for his day job.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                This. I'm not even a huge fan of Tolkien or fantasy in general but comparing a man with a genius level IQ who survived the fucking battle of the Somme to an autistic teenager is fucking batshit retarded.

                I think so many shitty writers have copied his writing style (and basically everything he created) that people automatically dislike him without realizing that he really revolutionized literature and everything that came after him were just copying his ass.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                two hours at the council of elrond telling them the exact same gandelf told us in the last few chapters

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Tolkien was terrible at prose and I'm tired of pretending he wasn't.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Tolkien's prose is not purple. Tortellini trawled through thesauruses for words to throw into his writing to make it "better". Do you know what "thews" are? Of course you don't, no one does. Tortellini used that word though. Tolkien didn't.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >Who knows what "Thews" are?

                Every fantasy reader?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >>The branch Roran had added to the fire burst asunder with a muted pop as the coals underneath heated the gnarled length of wood to the point where a small cache of water or sap that had somehow evaded the rays of the sun for untold decades exploded into steam.
          This is why you don't read genre-fiction (or most of fiction for that matter).

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >It turns out modern fantasy was just a shitty Tolkien fanfic!

      All such cases

  21. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Wow another huge waste of money.

  22. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I remember watching the movie in middle school and it was one of the first cases when I actually loathed something belonging to a genre I usually tend to like, same for Indiana Jones and the crystal skull

  23. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Hey guys tell me if I'm describing Star Wars or Eragon here:

    At the start of the story a princess leading a rebellion against an evil empire is being pursued by the evil emperor's right hand man. She's in possesion of an object of great importance which was stolen from the empire. Before she is captured she attempts to secret the item away to a hermit who once belonged to an ancient order of warriors with mystical powers. However the item inadvertently comes into the possession of a boy of foggy origins living with his uncle on a remote farm. The evil emperor's minions track the item to the farm and destroy it, killing the boy's relatives. But the boy escapes with the old hermit who gives him a sword he claims belonged to the boy's father. As they travel together the hermit trains the boy in the ways of the ancient order of warriors. Then the hermit dies protecting the boy, the boy rescues the princess from the start of the story with the help of a dashing rogue, and the boy, rogue, and princess journey together to the rebellion's secret headquarters which has come under attack by the evil empire. At the story's climax the boy saves the day with the timely help of his friends. Afterwards he has a vision of a powerful master of the ancient order of warriors who can finish his training. He seeks the master out and trains with him, growing very powerful. But before his training is finished the boy has premonitions that his friends are in danger. He decides he must go to help them despite his master warning him not to. The boy promises that he will return and leaves. He finds his friends just in time as they are threatened by the evil emperor's right hand man. In the ensuing fight the evil emperor's right hand man reveals that he and the boy are related. The boy is shocked and ultimately defeated, but not killed.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Maybe rottentomatoes can help clear this up:

      >Critics Consensus: Written by a teenager (and it shows), Eragon presents nothing new to the "hero's journey" story archetype. In movie terms, this movie looks and sounds like Lord of the Rings and plays out like a bad Star Wars rip-off. The movie spins the tale of a peasant boy who is suddenly entrusted with a dragon and must, with the help of a mentor, train, grow strong, and defeat an evil emperor. The way the critics picture it, the makers of Eragon should soon be expecting an annoyed phone call from George Lucas.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Clearly eragon because for star wars that describes episode 4 not episode 1

  24. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    eh, I remember the first book being inoffensive if really fucking basic fantasy and clearly ripping off Star Wars, but man the books after that just got progressively worse, I think by the third one he was using it to preach about atheism and vegetarianism

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >I think by the third one he was using it to preach about atheism and vegetarianism
      Kek why are you people seething so much about the elves not being theist? It was just a one line said by the elf dragon rider when Eragon asked him. Is this some kind of christian fragility?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >It was just a one line said by the elf dragon rider when Eragon asked him.

        Fuck off, there's a whole scene with the Elf princess ridiculing a Dwarf priest about his imaginary gods. Then she tells Eragon that his gods don't exist either which he immediately accepts because the Elves are perfect and right about everything.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Sorry it's been like 15 years, I don't member this scene so maybe you're right.
          Still seems like a weird thing to point out from the entire book series, the fact that one of the cultures are agnostic atheists.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Because the entire culture was made up of perfect Mary Sues who are right about everything by mirroring the author's own beliefs.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Weren't they like horrible racists or something? And also cowards?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >Fuck off, there's a whole scene with the Elf princess ridiculing a Dwarf priest about his imaginary gods.
          Which ends up betraying her, and all elves by extension, as ignorant assholes in the next book when it's revealed that at least one of the dwarf gods is very real.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >that at least one of the dwarf gods is very real.
            What? I don't remember dwarf gods having any actual role in the story

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >I think by the third one he was using it to preach about atheism and vegetarianism

        That started with the second book, when he went to live with the Elves. Funny how spirits can exist, like the ones that possessed the bad guy from the first book, but gods can't because... because they can't okay?!

        >T.Paolini
        lol no one's given an shit about anything you've done since the first book

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >I think by the third one he was using it to preach about atheism and vegetarianism

      That started with the second book, when he went to live with the Elves. Funny how spirits can exist, like the ones that possessed the bad guy from the first book, but gods can't because... because they can't okay?!

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        He didn't say they can't though, iirc the guy just said they haven't seen any evidence of a creator god but they are open minded. They have seen evidence of spirits though, so that's how they know those exist. How is this so difficult to comprehend for theists?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >but they are open minded

          No, they're not. The princess uses her superior atheist intellect to effortlessly make a fool of the Dwarven priest. Tortellini got a lot of flack from his fans for that so in the third book Eragon considers taking a more agnostic outlook. They also objected to how preachy he was about veganism so I think Eragon eats meat out of necessity in the third book too.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >“We only give credence to that which we can prove exists. Since we cannot find evidence that gods, miracles, and other supernatural things are real, we do not trouble ourselves about them. If that were to change, if Helzvog were to reveal himself to us, then we would accept the new information and revise our position." - Oromis, 8000 AC

            Sounds reasonable and open minded to me.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Uh-huh now post the whole bit with the atheist Elf making fun of the religious Dwarf.

              And isn't fantasy just so fantastical when everyone is so rational and needs empirical evidence to believe anything.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >I think by the third one he was using it to preach about atheism and vegetarianism
      The books' stance on atheism is so fucking inconsistent. Everything starting from Book 2 is just a massive elfwank, and elves are clearly atheists, and openly consider anyone who isn't also an atheist as "too stupid" to understand the world. But then in Book 3 (I think), an actual God of the dwarves straight up appears.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The way it was written I think that was supposed to be a tulpa. Like a physical manifestation of the Dwarves collective belief in their god, manifested through the priest.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I'm not sure. I seem to recall both Eragon and Saphira having to barricade their spirit out of fear against an extremely powerful and alien consciousness when the god appears.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I think it was described as if it was made from thousands of minds or something like that, and that the priest was definitely using some kind of magic before it appeared.

  25. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Still waiting for my Everworld adaptation.

  26. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    lol no way, i read all these shits in elementary/middle school. i just turned 28. who the fuck thought this needed a revival?

  27. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    the scholastic catalog really made sure to pimp the 'He was just 15, how fuckin sick!' angle.

  28. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I played the ps2 videogame a decade ago, I think. It was fun because I could play it with my 4 yo brother.
    Probably will check this one.

  29. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >For example, in the first book, Eragon threatens to torture a guard to death, then gets pissy at Murtagh for killing a man who tried to sell them into slavery, then accuses Murtagh of empathy issues, because he killed someone who attacked them maliciously, compared to threatening someone for doing his job. Fast forward to Brisingr when Eragon kills a solider who’s begging for his life—an unarmed solider, I should add—because it would be “dangerous” to let him live, because the solider would go tell someone who could tell the king where Eragon and Arya are. Never mind the fact that they’re in the middle of nowhere, headed back for the Varden, whose location the king already knows, and would surely have reached their destination long before the solider made it back to civilization to tell anyone anything. That, and the fact that it’s established in Eragon that it’s possible to remove information from someone’s mind when Ajihad tries to tell Murtagh why he has to keep him prisoner.

    >Granted, that’s mind rape, and I do mean rape, but since in Paolini Land anything done by Eragon is automatically considered morally right, the scene becomes even more jarring. And the mind rape is another problem I have with the series. The good guys say over and over again that it’s wrong, and then they do it all the time.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Is that from anti-shurtugal? God I miss that website.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It's an old post from some random blog I just found, but probably the writer frequented anti-shurtugal

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Forgot link
          https://ladygeekgirl.wordpress.com/2011/11/16/an-inherent-disaster-inheritance-trilogy-i-mean-cycle/

          >12 years ago

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >I have actually started reading Brisingr in Japanese because the English version is too much for me. Certainly, not the best book to practice with, and I need a Kanji dictionary to get through it, but at the very least, the Japanese version tends to cut out half the useless descriptions. That’s probably because Japanese has about one-fourth the amount of words English does, so most of what Paolini wrote is completely impossible to say in Japanese, for which I’m grateful.

            >Take this, for example, from pg. 3 of Brisingr.

            >「オエッ!」ローランが小声でうめいた。「気色悪い。反吐が出るぜ。あの狂信者どもめ、人食い人種だったのか」

            >Which roughly means:

            >“Hee!” Roran groaned quietly. “Disgusting. I’m going to vomit. Those religious fanatics are cannibalistic?!”

            >Compared to the English version:

            >“Gar!” said Roran in an undertone. “You failed to mention that those errant flesh-mongers, those gore-bellied, boggle-minded idiot worshipers were cannibals.”

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              How do you get so rectally ravaged by a fantasy series you not only rant about it on the internet but start literally reading it in another language to lengthen your suffering

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                That blogger claims they're actually a fan and even write fanfic. The rant is because they're frustrated by how the series could easily be better without amateur mistakes

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              The Jap translation is just generic Jap phrases they use in every other work, spelling out what the characters feel.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            nerdy female bloggers shitting on ya/fantasy books were kino, what happened to them? I still visit an old site in my language just for lolz

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Probably grew up or moved on. Same with fanfic writers. This girl in my grad school cohort used to write Tokyo Ghoul fanfic but the manga ending pissed her off so much she ragequit

              but Luke Skywalker gets a pass because?

              Luke is a whiny turd that grows into his heroism. People shit on Eragon because he's a sanitized walkthrough of Luke's arc. Not to mention the original Star Wars was a silly pulp space opera movie whereas Eragon the series takes itself way too fucking seriously

  30. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >I don’t know why Eragon and the Varden are considered the heroes, because they never do anything heroic. I mean, Eragon goes into battle and takes pleasure in the soldiers he kills. And I don’t know why Galbatorix and the Emipre are evil, because he’s never really shown to be evil. Why is he evil? Well, he taxes people. And that’s about it. Sure, he destroyed the Dragon Riders, but why were they good? Because they just were. The world is based around everything Eragon does being automatically good and everyone who disagrees with him or who works for the Empire being automatically bad.

    >The Empire’s stability is only threatened by the Varden, a terrorist group, but Galbatorix is still evil for trying to protect his lands and going to war with them. There are some things here and there to show his evilness, but they come across as more “See! He truly is evil! We must destroy him!” than as anything having to do with character development.

    >Paolini has a very black and white world, and that’s honestly why there is little to no character development on either side. It’s also probably why Murtagh’s the most interesting character, because he’s kind of gray. He doesn’t like the king, but he sees that the system works, so he doesn’t like the Varden for threatening it.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      is that a review and is it begging for moral ambiguity? weak

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No it's pointing out that Eragon is a Gary Stu self-insert who is always in the right even when the reader knows he shouldn't be.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          but Luke Skywalker gets a pass because?

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Han solo is the gary stu of star wars

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              so then i guess you're a greedo shot first

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                I don't think that matters since Han is portrayed as being in the right in any case due to greedo being an evil monster

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            How many unarmed soldiers begging for mercy did Luke Skywalker kill? How many times did Luke Skywalker chastise Han Solo for killing people?

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              they kill storm troopers all the time.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                And name one time Luke killed a storm trooper who was 1) unarmed and 2) begging for his life.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                The point is that stormtroopers are just NPC-tier cannon fodder. You don't even see their faces on account of the helmet
                The soldiers in the Inheritance series however are given distinct personalities and faces and Eragon can even read their minds, sensing their terror. So it's half assed that Paolini writes that in, as if wanting his protag to confront his own actions and what it means to take a life, only for him to get over it in a few pages and go right back to mowing them down

  31. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    ive seen maybe 3 eragon threads in the past decade i've been on /misc/ and without fail there are at least 2 or 3 autists in every single one bitching about how the prose is shitty and how he was actually 19 NOT 15!!! when he wrote the book. why are you guys so ass ravaged about a mediocre series that's almost 20 years old? it has gotten almost 0 mainstream attention since back then but it still creates seethe effortlessly

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      watch it chrissy

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >and without fail there are at least 2 or 3 autists in every single one bitching about how the prose is shitty and how he was actually 19 NOT 15!!!

      don't forget the plagiarism

      *Ardwen - Arwen
      *Isenstar - Isengard
      *Mithrim - Mithrim or mithril
      *Angrenost - Angrenost
      *Morgothal - Morgoth
      *Elessari - Elessar
      *Furnost - Fornost
      *Hadarac - Harad
      *Melian - Melian
      *Vanilor - Valinor
      *Eridor - Eriador
      *Imiladris - Imladris
      *Undin - Fundin/Udun
      *Gil'ead - Gil'Galad
      *Ceranthor - Caranthir
      *Isidar - Isildir
      *Oromis - Orome
      *Eragon - Aragorn

      Hey guys tell me if I'm describing Star Wars or Eragon here:

      At the start of the story a princess leading a rebellion against an evil empire is being pursued by the evil emperor's right hand man. She's in possesion of an object of great importance which was stolen from the empire. Before she is captured she attempts to secret the item away to a hermit who once belonged to an ancient order of warriors with mystical powers. However the item inadvertently comes into the possession of a boy of foggy origins living with his uncle on a remote farm. The evil emperor's minions track the item to the farm and destroy it, killing the boy's relatives. But the boy escapes with the old hermit who gives him a sword he claims belonged to the boy's father. As they travel together the hermit trains the boy in the ways of the ancient order of warriors. Then the hermit dies protecting the boy, the boy rescues the princess from the start of the story with the help of a dashing rogue, and the boy, rogue, and princess journey together to the rebellion's secret headquarters which has come under attack by the evil empire. At the story's climax the boy saves the day with the timely help of his friends. Afterwards he has a vision of a powerful master of the ancient order of warriors who can finish his training. He seeks the master out and trains with him, growing very powerful. But before his training is finished the boy has premonitions that his friends are in danger. He decides he must go to help them despite his master warning him not to. The boy promises that he will return and leaves. He finds his friends just in time as they are threatened by the evil emperor's right hand man. In the ensuing fight the evil emperor's right hand man reveals that he and the boy are related. The boy is shocked and ultimately defeated, but not killed.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        you're crediting Tolkien for words that stem from ancient norse and latin languages. is it plagiarism to use words from a fucking dictionary? you retard.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Tolkien's words are on the right side. Which ones are from the dictionary you stupid gay? Point them out.

          *Ardwen - Arwen
          *Isenstar - Isengard
          *Mithrim - Mithrim or mithril
          *Angrenost - Angrenost
          *Morgothal - Morgoth
          *Elessari - Elessar
          *Furnost - Fornost
          *Hadarac - Harad
          *Melian - Melian
          *Vanilor - Valinor
          *Eridor - Eriador
          *Imiladris - Imladris
          *Undin - Fundin/Udun
          *Gil'ead - Gil'Galad
          *Ceranthor - Caranthir
          *Isidar - Isildir
          *Oromis - Orome
          *Eragon - Aragorn

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            i know you're too stupid to get this so think harder about this for a while before you reply. the reason they're so similar is that they're both share commonality in the languages they're derived from. latin, norse, ect.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              You said they're from the dictionary.

              you're crediting Tolkien for words that stem from ancient norse and latin languages. is it plagiarism to use words from a fucking dictionary? you retard.

              >is it plagiarism to use words from a fucking dictionary

              So let me ask you again: where in the dictionary did Tortellini get these words?

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                you're fucking retarded. just fuck off for god sakes. too stupid to understand that they are both derived from older languages.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >they are both derived from older languages

                No, Tolkien's are. Tortellini's are just straight up copied from Tolkien's. And I'm still waiting for you to pull these words up out of the dictionary. You said they were in the dictionary, ergo Tortellini couldn't have stolen them.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >Go re-read his stuff and see for yourself.

                I don't have to, I know it isn't. If it was you'd be posting excerpts here to prove me wrong but you can't and you won't. Please try to find my ANYTHING from Tolkien even beginning to approach this level of shit however:

                >The branch Roran had added to the fire burst asunder with a muted pop as the coals underneath heated the gnarled length of wood to the point where a small cache of water or sap that had somehow evaded the rays of the sun for untold decades exploded into steam.

                Did a kid in an Eragon shirt bully you? Tell me where this autism stems from, I'm genuinely intrigued.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                The Tortellini anon is a bit autistic but you yourself seem to be putting a lot of effort into defending Paolini's writing. Where does that come from? I hope you're not the author himself

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                It probably is. Isn't it obvious how personally offended he is?

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Christopher, not everyone has to like your writing. You already have your shitty movie and your Disney show which will also suck. Just accept the fact you're a millionaire because of a shitty book you wrote 20 years ago.

                It probably is. Isn't it obvious how personally offended he is?

                Knowing how autistic Chrissy is I could totally imagine him actually posting in this thread.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >3 Eragon threads in the past decade
      >decade
      >They make an Eragon thread because Disney+ announced they are making a series about it
      >OMG WHY IS /misc/ OBSESSED WITH ERAGON
      Bro......are you mentally retarded?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        reading comprehension of someone who couldn't even read the kids books, impressive

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          you're dumb as shit. he's riffing on you guys being mad about the kid writing the book.

          Bitch I was. responding to the words I read I can't see the fat, greasy little hands and smug smirk smashing away on the keyboard that shat out that garbage comment.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        you're dumb as shit. he's riffing on you guys being mad about the kid writing the book.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >kid

          19 year olds are not kids.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            1. yes they are, 2. he wrote the rough drafts at 15, 16

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              He wrote nothing at 15 or 16. He fucking admitted in an interview he didn't start writing until he was 18, finishing at 19 at which point he should have been old enough to write better than he did.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You said they're from the dictionary.

            [...]
            >is it plagiarism to use words from a fucking dictionary

            So let me ask you again: where in the dictionary did Tortellini get these words?

            Seek. Help.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            They are thoughever. Everyone under 30 is a kid.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >wtf why do people correct me when I say something incorrect
      Get over it, fag, it’s been years since it happened the first time, you shouldn’t still be seething over it

  32. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I hated how overpowered the magic was in the books. Like it was stated in like second book that Eragon can easily kill whole army with couple words by blocking veins in their brains and the only thing that could stop him from doing that was another mage.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Not just stated, the madman actually did it. But he could only do it because Oromis taught him how. Every mage could theoretically do it, but they would have to know exactly how.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I don't hate that idea. It's pretty unique and it makes sense with how the magic system works.
      It makes dragon riders OP, but that's the whole point. They're supposed to be OP. And it keeps the dragon from overshadowing the rider.

  33. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    IT WAS
    OUR
    TURN

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Sorry Sanderson, amateur hour’s over

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        kek speaking of hack YA works, is this cucked lefty gay ever gonna finish his shit or what?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Probably not. He only wrote when he was hanging around as an eternal student, and stopped the second he thought he could drop it.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          there was some rumbling about it being at the editor and there being a release date for it. Last Year. Around six months later and still not a fucking thing about it so it seems like it may have been bullshit. Honestly doubt it ever comes out, fucking hack doesn't even have Trump to blame anymore

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I love that George Martin convinced so many mid listers that they, too, could sit on their ass doing nothing without repercussions

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          so speaking of the fat piece of shit get this, back in december 2021 he announced he'd read the prologue and a chapter from Doors of Stone if his charity hit 300,000 bucks. The Charity hit over 1.2 million bucks so they literally exceeded that by almost a million fucking dollars. So he does actually read the prologue on a stream(of which about a page is devoted to describing a tavern in the middle of the night and that's about the only notable thing in the entire fucking prologue), but not the chapter. Rumors come and go about when he'd actually get around to it but it was supposed to be about February at the latest. 11 months later and it still hasn't happened and he hasn't even said anything about it as explanation, update, or apology.

          So the obvious takeaway from this, I mean besides that he's a lying sack of shit who exploits his fans for money, is that chapter 1 probably isn't even fucking done yet

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Pathetic.

            I've written four new books since then btw.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              so speaking of the fat piece of shit get this, back in december 2021 he announced he'd read the prologue and a chapter from Doors of Stone if his charity hit 300,000 bucks. The Charity hit over 1.2 million bucks so they literally exceeded that by almost a million fucking dollars. So he does actually read the prologue on a stream(of which about a page is devoted to describing a tavern in the middle of the night and that's about the only notable thing in the entire fucking prologue), but not the chapter. Rumors come and go about when he'd actually get around to it but it was supposed to be about February at the latest. 11 months later and it still hasn't happened and he hasn't even said anything about it as explanation, update, or apology.

              So the obvious takeaway from this, I mean besides that he's a lying sack of shit who exploits his fans for money, is that chapter 1 probably isn't even fucking done yet

              >stones unhallowed was renamed to oathbringer because the publishers were worried there’d be conflict with doors of stone
              >oathbringer came out in 2017

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              its easier to count the number of series Sanderson has started and finished rather than individual books since Rothfuss wrote his last real book

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >and he hasn't even said anything about it as explanation, update, or apology
            He said he would write a blog post on the topic. That was about two months ago lmao.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Nope. That fuck said can't even bring himself to make a blogpost to explain why he still hasn't released the sample chapter he promised like a year ago.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I unironically can not believe people read this guys shit and didn't feel second hand embarrassment.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Book 3 never.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      after Wheel of Time and Lord of the Rings why the fuck would anyone even want their fucking work adapted at this point?

  34. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I did think the movie was pretty poor. I've always wanted a better adaptation.
    I can see why the books are not top-tier material, but I liked them when I first read them.

  35. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    /InheritanceChads/ what's our book ranking look like? For me it's 2 > 1 > 3 = 4. Comfy adventures to start off with but definitely got into repetitive territory towards the end and the final boss fight was somewhat weak. Still should be a good first season though!

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I think 2 > 1 > 3, haven't read 4.
      It's been over a decade though.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      1>2>>>>>3>>>>>>the void>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>4

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      For me it's 2 > 1 > 4 > 3.
      I didn't like the 4th book very much but I didn't have to force myself through it like I did with Brisingr.
      Eldest is easily the best because the whole sequence with Roran going on a boat trip is the best thing that happens in the entire series.

  36. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Kinda hyped. The first book is kino but it sucks that the new adaption won't have Irons as Brom or Doyle's ost

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I thought Brom was miscast as fuck. I always imagined him as an obi wan/gandalf type very old bearded (and bald for some reason, even though I don't think there was ever a mention of it in the actual text) man in a plain robe. In the movie he looks like middle aged chad action man.

  37. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Read this book at 12 years old and immediately despised it. How the fuck an adult could even begin to care about Eragon is beyond me. It’s even leagues worse than Potter became when it shifted to teenage angst with Goblet. Just pure YA, brain-rotting trash. I’m not the smartest dude in the world but I’m glad my parents kept real literature around the house so I was prepared to identify this trash.

  38. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    fuck off, give me what I really want!

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      you'd think a sarcastic asshole narrator/main character and a black girl love interest would be exactly what netflix would want, and yet

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >black

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          wow, why the fuck did I think she was black?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >thank you, djinni, you are truly my greatest ally

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >thank you, djinni, you are truly my greatest ally

      Funny thing, my librarian allowed kids to rent Harry Potter only if they had a written permission from parents, because of the demonic magic outrage, but I could without problem rent this book that's all about kid learning magic that's all about summoning demons.
      Overall the book seemed like the author looked at the Harry Potter controversy and said "you call that demonic? I will show you demonic!"

  39. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The dragon better be sexy.

  40. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I miss when we would get two pieces of media that were the same genre and that is it. Deep impact and Armageddon came out the same year, for instance.

    But that was it. I feel like I've been watching lotr for 20 years. Everything is lotr.

    It's got to be good to be in hollywood, because you only have to know how to make the same clothing and armor. And fuck sets, just green screen that shit. People will complain, but they'll still watch.

  41. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I remember reading this as a kid and thinking Eragon was such a fag for continuing to pine for Arya when he had a perfectly fine human chick running the magician guild that wanted his dick

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I don't remember her at all except she made a magic sweat shop for lace to fund the rebellion and there was something about a little girl who was magically compelled to protect other people because Eragon fucked up his grammar while giving a blessing

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That'd be Trianna. I remember it being unclear whether she truly wanted his dick or just wanted to manipulate him, but we never do get to find out because Saphira, being the possessive bitch that she is, chases her off and pretty much forces Eragon to only ever have a professional relationship with her.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        He could easily have gotten with Nasuada though

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          He was too obsessed with Arya to seriously consider it.
          Besides, if Nasuada refused to marry Orrin because it would force her to share power with someone else (which is unironically the main reason she dismisses the idea, talk about being power-hungry), do you seriously imagine her marrying an all-powerful dragonrider?

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Considering she ends up falling in love with another dragonrider who murdered her closest ally and thousands of her own soldiers, I'd say anything is possible

  42. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    bwahahahaha! cant wait to see how the fuck this up! will eragon be a turbo bro? brogon? erabro? eragonniga? BWAHAHAHAHA! will he be a hwyte craka race mixin with niggress arya? PHUCKINS MY DUDE, INFINTE POSSIBILITES FOR MASSIVE ASSHURT!

    WILL THERE BE moron DRAGONS?!?!?!?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      read the book and try and pretend Eragon isn't black

  43. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Everyone shots on this but sword of Shannara gets a pass somehow.

    It literally had the entire fellowship of the ring, with carbon copies of each character AND the ringwraiths

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I mean he wrote his first books at like what 14?15?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Because no one read that shit. I got for Christmas when I was like 13 and literally never opened it once. I'm 30 now.

  44. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    man FUCK the movie

  45. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Fantasy plagiarism knows no bounds
    you might think shannara is bad, what if I tell there's a book written by a woman that basically copies book 2-3 of shannara 1 to 1 only making the mcs little girls instead
    we I say 1 on 1 I mean it, every single main charcter and event in shannara 2-3 has a direct equivalent in that book
    too bad I read it like 20 years ago so I can't find it but even as a kid I couldn't belive how shameless that shit was

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      meant for

      Everyone shots on this but sword of Shannara gets a pass somehow.

      It literally had the entire fellowship of the ring, with carbon copies of each character AND the ringwraiths

  46. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I wonder how many even shittier fantasy novels were written or attempted thanks to this book
    I Remember in middle school everyone wanted to write their own fantasy, I wrote a couple chapters of some generic garbage about magic elemental swords myself

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Man I'm guilty of this shit too. I found my manuscript that I was writing and I cringed so fucking hard at myself.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        you can't just say shit like that and not post the manuscript

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          That was a while ago by the time I found it the thread would 404. But it was basically a sci-fi/fantasy and it was around the time I was getting into Cinemaphile around 2008 so it was kind of based off Anonymous and I literally used the "we do not forgive we do not forget" in it....holy fuck I want to kill myself just typing this out. I was such a fucking autist back then.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Man I'm guilty of this shit too. I found my manuscript that I was writing and I cringed so fucking hard at myself.

      I wrote some WWII story while I was bored on the train to uni when I was 17. Was meant to be a three-part trilogy and everything.
      Dad was the only person to read it. I submitted it for publication a handful of times but eventually gave up.
      I wrote tonnes of ideas for stories down.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It’s pretty difficulty to tell, since that era was the peak of YA fantasy, that only really declined with the twilight movies, and there was a boatload of popular books to rip off.

  47. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >/misc/ seethes about another fit, successful author
    never change

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >peaked at 18 thanks to nepotism and blind luck
      >hasn't achived anything since
      He might have more money than me thanks to royalties and shit but I can honestly say I'm more successful despite being 10 years younger

      he's more like a lucky nonretarded version of chirschan than an actual author

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >I can honestly say I'm more successful despite being 10 years younger
        And what do you do?

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I write smut mlp fanfics

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I got a degree in statistics and work for the biggest insurance company in my country in a relitively high up position(i guess an american would call it middle managment)
          I have friends with stem degrees that make 3 times less than I do and had I not had to be forced to drop out of actuarial science to get a job I would be making much much more
          I'll probably get my master eventualy once I'm well off enough to quit working for a couple years

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            what does '3 times less' mean?

            your salary - your salary x3? wut

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              he's a statistician not a mathematician.. LOL

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                maybe he hires people to do all the complicated sums for him, that's just how high up he is.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Are you trolling or do you really not get it lol?
              I make 3 times more than them, I guess it was an awkward way to phrase it but I'm els you'd have to be retarded not to get what i'm saying though

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                whatever smartypants, even if you were actually a manager mr. chrissy tortellini is still more successful than you
                go whine on Cinemaphile or something

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >Kid with extremely rich parents is more successful than you
                Ain't that the truth

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                yeah i assumed that to be honest with you lad, just thought it was clunky phrasing.

                i am retarded though that's why i'm not as successful as you. but you know what? at least i'm happy.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >at least i'm happy.
                With how fucked everything is right now, that's better than most people.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                fair enough my enitre post reads like an indian on adderal t b h that's what happens when my only english practice is lurking this shithole
                I a miserable bastard myself so I envy you

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Fuck of poojets, this delusion will not help you reddemm code banchod

                like clockwork lol

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Fuck of poojets, this delusion will not help you reddemm code banchod

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        He apparently wrote a sci-fi book in 2020 and according to wiki it was successful and even got some award.

  48. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Reminder that he did literally nothing wrong

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Had all the dragon bussy he could have ever wanted at his command
      >Still died because he didn't mind-rape that one kid hard enough

  49. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >The war is finally over
    >The author used that stupid "the power of friendship" asspull to kill the bad guy
    >everything goes back to normal
    >suddenly there's a scene of Saphira getting dicked down
    >Eragon's mind link makes him feel everything that happens
    Kind of weird, but based at the same time

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      there's a scene of Saphira getting dicked down
      's mind link makes him feel everything that happens
      I will now read Inheritance.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Don't bother.
        1/3rd of the book is literally Eragon training with some autistic elf guy and his equally autistic gold dragon.
        Looking back, it's got more holes than swiss cheese. Will be an honest to god trainwreck if this tv series ever gets made.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      There’s some downright peculiar parts in the books.
      Like Eragon being a Luke stand in while his mother is a Mara Jade stand in

  50. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Eragon stood with Arya as they watched the glittering dragons ascend into the heavens, spiraling around each other with flames streaming from their mouths. It was an awe-inspiring sight: savage and beautiful, and frightening. Eragon realized he was watching an ancient and elemental ritual, one that was part of the very fabric of nature itself and without which the land would wither and die.
    >His connection with Saphira grew tenuous as the distance between them increased, but he could still sense the heat of her passion, which darkened the edges of her vision and blotted out all thoughts save those driven by the instinctual need that all creatures, even the elves, are subject to.
    >The dragons shrank until at last they were no more than a pair of sparkling stars orbiting each other in the immensity of the sky. As far away as they were, Eragon still received a few flashes of thoughts and feelings from Saphira, and though he had experienced many such moments with the Eldunarí when they had shared their memories with him, his cheeks grew hot, as did the tips of his ears, and he found himself unable to look directly at Arya.
    >She too seemed affected by the dragons’ emotions, although differently than he; she stared after Saphira and Fírnen with a faint smile, and her eyes shone brighter than usual, as if the sight of the two dragons filled her with pride and happiness.
    >Eragon let out a sigh, and then squatted and began to draw in the dirt with a stalk of grass.
    >“Well, that didn’t take long,” he said.
    >“No,” said Arya.
    >They remained that way for a number of minutes: she standing, he squatting, and all silence around them, save for the sound of the lonely wind.
    Eragon is canonically autistic

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >When your 3 year old dragon, believed to be the last of her kind, gets laid before you
      Fucking state of Eragon, what a fucking loser

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        He tried to get some elf pussy but he got turned down because he's "literally a child in elf years".
        I find it hard to believe that elves aren't into /ss/. Just blows my fucking mind, honestly.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >When your 3 year old dragon, believed to be the last of her kind, gets laid before you
        We don't know that for sure. During the big elvish ceremony in book (or was it book ?) where Eragon gets turned into a half-elf or something, he remembers dancing with a young female elf and remembers her scent and "the taste of her tongue" or whatever, so he might have gotten lucky there.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I remember that. The whole thing is written as a fever dream where anything can happen. It's also one of the very few moments in the books where Saphira leaves him the fuck alone, and considering she constantly cock-blocks him, he might have gotten laid.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This make me so mad. Eragon, you dumb fuck, how can you not make a move in such situation? No wonder Arya left him.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Holy fuck Paolini is autistic as shit even his own self insert couldn't get pussy.
      Also I forget these characters, are Arya and Saphira dragons? Is he jealous he wasn't going to get dragon pussy or something?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Arya is the elf chick, Saphira is Eragons dragon. Fírnen is Aryas dragon.
        Their dragons fucked but they didn't.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Saphira is Eragon's dragon. Arya is the elf princess that Eragon simps for throughout the whole story

          >Eragon has been lusting after this hot elf chick for 4 books
          >Eragon's dragon Saphira immediately hooks up with Arya's dragon Firnen five seconds after they meet for the first time
          >Eragon and Arya have a mind link to all of this
          >Eragon has had a long time learning to control the mind link and Arya hasn't
          >Eragon can't look her in the face and starts drawing patterns in the dirt

          hahahaha holy fuck that is so pathetic. He's such a bitter virgin that he wouldn't even let his main character get laid before he does. His character is hanging out with a princess, riding dragons, and killing people but he's still a beta who can't get coochie.
          That is the saddest self insert I have ever seen. I wouldn't be surprised if he is still a virgin despite being 39 and rich as fuck.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >I wouldn't be surprised if he is still a virgin despite being 39 and rich as fuck.
            He has a wife and two kids

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              I bet he molests his children

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Saphira is Eragon's dragon. Arya is the elf princess that Eragon simps for throughout the whole story

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Eragon has been lusting after this hot elf chick for 4 books
        >Eragon's dragon Saphira immediately hooks up with Arya's dragon Firnen five seconds after they meet for the first time
        >Eragon and Arya have a mind link to all of this
        >Eragon has had a long time learning to control the mind link and Arya hasn't
        >Eragon can't look her in the face and starts drawing patterns in the dirt

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        it's almost like that's just how he wanted to write the book. you fucking retard.

  51. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    when is Zak Sabbath, the saviour of D&D, getting a TV series?

  52. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    for me, it's physically fit (but still geeky-looking) talented young programmers.

  53. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Eragon isn’t exactly good but Paolini is 100% a better writer than say Sanderson.

  54. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Arya: 103 years old
    >Eragon: 18 years old

  55. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'll never forgive the movie for making the Ra'zac into generic mooks made of maggots summoned by Durza.
    They were legit creepy and cool in the books.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous
  56. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Please tell me malkovich returns

  57. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >read fork/witch/worm short stories
    >Eragon is losing unhealthy amounts of weight from all his work, hitting the bottle immediately after meetings and getting more and more tired of the elves' shit
    it happens to everyone

  58. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Pretty hyped, 12 year old me thought it was kino and I enjoyed how it make people seeth

    >noooooo it’s just star wars even though star wars itself is a story as old as time, only told with space ships and laser swords

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      the movie was crap even compared to the book

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        it's pretty fun TBqH
        hatches an egg, becomes mentored into dragon riding, learns magic spells, fights an evil wizard in the sky, and wears a promise ring for elf princess

  59. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Read the first book when I was 9 and then the next two immediately after. When I was 14 the 4th book came out and I read it but me and my friends thought it was cringe even then.
    >Kills the big bad with the power of feelings and friendship
    I enjoyed Roran’s boat journey and the sword building side quest in book 3. Pretty depressing that this hack is probably loaded from royalties and doesn’t even face any criticism since most of his “fans” read this shit as schoolchildren and forgot about it or dismiss it as innocent slop

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Kills the big bad with the power of feelings and friendship
      just like in my jrpgs

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      it is innocent slop

  60. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >everyone is black now
    why even bother?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >everyone is black now
      finally some diverse representation

  61. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You dumbasses.
    Arya didn't fuck Eragon because she's an elf supremacist (which is a good thing).
    He never stood a chance.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He literally became an elf. He's like Michael Jackson but actually transracial.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >He literally became an elf
        No he didn't. He became a weird transracial hybrid.
        Even more disgusting then either race.
        He will never be an elf. Just like you will never be a woman.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          if i identify as a woman, i'm a woman.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            in your headcanon maybe

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              no, society isn't on your side.

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                and statistics aren't on yours

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