Find a flaw
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Thalidomide Vintage Ad Shirt $22.14 |
Find a flaw
Find a flaw
Thalidomide Vintage Ad Shirt $22.14 |
Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
Thalidomide Vintage Ad Shirt $22.14 |
everything
Joaquin Phoenix’s bad acting.
can i torrent it yet non cam version?
yep on 1337 my dude. Honestly my favorite film of 2023
Yes since 2 weeks ago or something
people who never had sex will tell you that its historically inaccurate
People who had sex would come to the same conclusion, so don't be a self-hating virgin, anon.
>abhorrent color grading
>television series tier cinematography
>constant splashes of bad taste (loke a dead serious scene of Napoleon jumping in front of his wife and begging for sex) caused by Ridley's rapidly progressing dementia
>Joaquin Phoenix miscast and not even trying because he obviously saw that Ridley wasn't trying either
despite all this can you even name a better movie from last year?
I can name plenty of movies from last year that I rated over 3/10 (accurate rating for the Ridley travesty), but these were my favourites overall.
Blackberry
Do Not Expect too Much from The End of the World
The Curse (mini-series are basically long form films)
Tons:
>Godzilla Minus One
>The Boy and the Heron
>Asteroid City
>John Wick 4
>The Holdovers
>The Iron Claw
>The Killer
>Poor Things
Even Memenheimer was better than that shit
The holdover was comfy af. I really needed that.
>television series tier cinematography
Now that you mentioned, that makes so much sense
gays these days can't comprehend someone below the age of 30-35 having massive achievements in life. Have to cast a grandpa instead to relate.
im watching it right now why does everyone have british and american accents kinda weird i thought they would be doing french accents but speak english
>we aren't going to show the levée en masse, the mass national conscription and mobilization of the French citizen population via nationalism in the face of invasion by the coalition
>we aren't going to show the mass restructuring of Ancien régime Europe along different borders and adoption of the Napoleonic code and the Continental system
>we aren't going to show Napoleon leading his troops over a bridge over stubborn Austrian resistance at the Battle of Arcole
>no instead we are going to have Napoleon make "mumumumum" noises and say "YOU THINK YOU'RE SO GREAT BECAUSE YOU GOT BOATS!"
>no instead we are going to have Napoleon make "mumumumum" noises
holy kek, I have to watch this now
It’s even funnier when you know the context. It’s what napoleon does when he wants pussy. He follows his wife around and goes “mulumummum meow” as. a hint that he wants sex. No I really am not joking
>"YOU THINK YOU'RE SO GREAT BECAUSE YOU GOT BOATS!"
Honestly what the frick was Ridley thinking
It's a hit piece on Napoleon. Ridley took probably the most competent and charismatic dude ever and turned him into a bumbling moron.
As if you fricking knew him.
>makes your favorite historical figure act nothing like how they are said to have acted
YOU WERENT FRICKING THERE CHUD YOU CANT CRITIQUE IT
He's British boomer. Making a movie about Napoleon is like asking him to make a movie about Hitler. It's going to be a 100% mockery.
>actually includes a death count in the epilogue to show Nappy was BASICALLY GALLIC HITLER
the absolute madman
The rifleman who spoke to wellington wasn't a Sean Bean cameo
It felt like Ridley could barely hide his contempt for Napoleon when making this flick
Claims Napoleon's desire to conquer and modernize the world is because le powerful woman cucked him
Related. It's worse than you can image https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hTGYNwyFlM
Not having worst EthanHuntGirl get fricking naked.
It was a bad movie, though I kind of liked the letters angle they took, dude wrote a frick ton.
>a flaw
In two minutes it went from Napoleon entering Moscow, to Napoleon being on Elba.
A 48-year old guy playing someone who is 24 (pic related).
lmao Hollywood needs to take these old frickers out of the mix fr. 2 times worse with lead female actress hags
>Find a flaw
They got his entire personality wrong
it's shit
If Ridley's intention was to make Napoleon seem like a petulant manchild he succeeded
Guy was a complete simp
>rabbit doggy-style a couple of times lmao
Women he had sex with said he was famously bad at it
>Women he had sex with said he was famously bad at it
Could he be anymore like me...
>bad at sex
He conquered half the known world(the parts that actually matter), who gives a shit about his sexual prowess? Why is this always the last argument of women and homosexuals? HURR DURR HE NO MAKE GIRL CUM, LOL.
Fricking pathetic.
>who gives a shit about his sexual prowess?
The people ITT bringing it up, for one.
Excuse me, mate, were you there?
>ok we gotta tell 30 years of this guy's life in 2 and a half hours
>what should we concentrate on - his political rise? his policies? his military genius and campaigns?
>nah - he gets cucked by some woman and also he fricks her like a rabbit doggy-style a couple of times lmao
>Having an American use an English accent to play a French man
Fricking dropped
Napoleon wasn't French. Phoenix having an American accent kind of makes sense in the movie since he would have sounded different than everyone else due to his heavy Italian accent.
>hey here's that kid I was telling you about, he's pretty good in strategy
>50 year old Napoleon pretending he's 20: so in my opinion we should fire on the British ships to stop the blockage
>"I like you, kid, you're thinking outside the box. Lets try it!"
>IT WORKS
>now you're the commander of the French army, kid!!!
>"Dear Josephine, after the successful Italian campaign (off screen) I'm now in Egypt and shot some cannons at the pyramids and the stupid sandBlack folk surrendered immediately. Anyway, why aren't you writing to me, whatcha doing?"
>*Josephine is fricking some guy in Paris*
Ridley's Gladiator 2 will prevail
He is disappintingly not a director of the 2024 Alien, only producer. Alien being the most legendary scifi horror movie series
I will not be watching it and tarnish my view of the first one now that we’re 100% sure that Ridley has completely lost it
The pacing was weird. It felt incredibly rushed despite being so long. But everything else was fine. You can say it was inaccurate character assassination because he wasn’t really autistic like that, but that’s not really a factor in whether its a good movie or not.
>a biopic
>completely get the person wrong on every level
>not a factor
???
Yeah, the jump cut from Moscow burning to him going into exile was jarring
The whole Russian invasion was like 4 minutes too.
Pretty much, it felt like it was just highlight scenes from his life crammed into a 2 hour movie.
I'm fricking tired of:
>did you know the past was GREY
>or that deserts are YELLOW
>or that winter is BLUUUUUUUUUUUE
Scott got too old and completely lost it, hard to believe he did both The Duellists and this shit.
Most people start losing a couple of IQ points every year after 65-70. Ridley is 86 so he’s basically a certified moron now
His wife yawning during the sex scene was intended to justify making a film about a warmongering biological male as the MC + creating a game of thrones sense of depth which leads absolutely nowhere.
>we will never get a movie showing the chutzpah of Ney and the other marshals
I think Ridley intentionally included historical falsehoods to increase controversy around the movie because that's the best way to obtain organic and free publicity around a movie nowadays.
The falsehoods keeps the movie on everybody's lips
That or he's becoming senile. He's 86 years old
People were going to see this movie. Napoleon + Ridley Scott is (you would think) a recipe for success. Ridley chose to shit on him and make a bad movie instead.
The lack of Marshals kino was criminal.
munmunmunmunmun poosy
All of the battle scenes were unhistorical
Most of them would be improved by picking a historically accurate version