>everything
retcon just what disney has done and also the sale, force it back into lucas' hands so he can sell it to someone who cares a little maybe and can just adapt the EU for the next 100 years without having to think for themselves
It wasn't George's idea to have Luke burnt out at all. ONE of George's ideas was to have Luke train on the island in secret but it was never his idea to have Luke let his friends die and abandon everyone. You're a dumb npc who fell for bait Instagram posts.
Just rip off Dune Messiah/Children of Dune. Luke sees the future and decides to go full exiled hermit to prevent it. Fate decrees that the vision must come true and Luke is dragged back into it and he realizes this.
star wars has always been a rip off of dune. the prequels are basically just dune messiah but without any of the based harkonnen and bene gesserit shenanigans
>Reminder that George HATED the EU
Reminder that he didn't. He liked Shadows of the Empire so much that he considered the canon habbening between ESB and RotJ
There was nothing wrong with the idea of Luke becoming a jaded old man. The problem was that he died at the end of TLJ so he never had the arc where he came out of his shell.
The bright plucky hero becoming a hermit is a classic archetype. Hell, Gundam did it to the main character of the first show, who ended the series with tears in his eyes over the hapiness he felt at being reunited with his friends. 7 years later in Zeta, he's a bitter old man under house arrest, has PTSD and a crippling fear of fighting in space. Imagine if Amuro died in the first half of Zeta before returning to the battlefield, before CCA and before going out like a hero pushing Axis away from Earth. That's why TLJ is so fricking bad. They killed Luke off before letting his character arc reach the redemption phase. He was just a bitter old coot with no pay off and no set up as to why he was bitter in the first place.
Ideas aren't worth shit until they go through the entire creative process and end up as final products. For example, see all of those weird things that were ideas for the original movie, like Luke Starkiller and used car salesman C-3PO. They're trivia footnotes, nothing more.
i'll be honest i reckon i could have done it before kenobi even with all the sequelshit. but now i don't even know, it feels irreparably ruined. i'd probably just cancel every upcoming project and blow all the budget on an MA-rated Old Republic show set during the Mandalorian Wars written and directed exclusively by me
Failed Jedi Obi Two Kenobi kidnaps Leia. Obi Wan is drawn out of hiding to clear his name. Obi Two Kenobi wants to be Obi Wan but never will.
Obi Two Kenobi is a post op trans-man with a melted face.
Sith lady hunts Obi Two thinking it’s Obi Wan only to get stabbed and told you will never be a woman. Obi Two cuts off hands then uses the force to choke people using their cut off hands.
Here's how you fix the Obi-Wan show at least >remove black lady >remove Leia >have Obi-Wan get into adventures on Tatooine while looking over Luke, feeling guilt over having failed his father (yes Tatooine is overused but that's Disney's fault) >go on some kind of mission for the Rebellion in space, see for himself the kind of stuff the Empire is doing >tangle with the Empire and eventually confront Vader as a result of said mission >the two of them say a bit more than a couple of generic action movie one-liners to each other before they fight >something happens that prematurely ends the fight, Obi-Wan goes back to watching Luke, realizes he's got to train him one day >cue credits
also >make it clear its a mini series, maybe two seasons >introduce new characters that support Obi-Wan but die off >have his ultimate adventure lead him to an emergency broadcast of exile Jedi >find out Vader murdered them and left it as a trap
The mentality of Disney is they know that the characters they use besides someone in a mask has a expiration date, so they're constantly in the pursuit of introducing a new fan favorite character they can milk.
>have Obi-Wan get into adventures on Tatooine
You are thinking small, anon. A series of Obi-wan comics (pic related) are being published which in my opinion hit the plot very well: Obi-wan is on Tatooine, stuck in a sandstorm, he opens his diary and starts writing the adventures lived as a Jedi.
We may have: > episodes dedicated to his youth with Qui-Gon > episodes dedicated to the relationship with Anakin, when he is still a padawan > episodes dedicated to maturity, during the Clone Wars
>go on some kind of mission for the Rebellion in space, see for himself the kind of stuff the Empire is doing >tangle with the Empire and eventually confront Vader as a result of said mission
your ideas went to shit here. Keep him on Tattooine. Keep the Empire out of it and never have him meet Vader.
>go on some kind of mission for the Rebellion in space
Obi-wan would need a very very good reason to abandon Luke. He sees Luke as the sole hope for the galaxy to the point that Leia having just as much potential slipped his mind in ESB.
Now I get why they even included that weird aside with Kenobi vaguely remembering a brother.
It's to handwave away that he never considered Leia to be force proficient.
Kenobi had a brother who was not force sensitive so he assumes that Luke is the next great jedi and Leia isn't.
Cut the budget down to nothing, make them rated R, give them to indie directors.
Basically I want well written grindhouse Star Wars. Is that too much to ask?
Easy peasy. No retcon, simply remove Empire Strikes Back and everything that came after it. That leaves: >Star Wars (1977 film) >Splinter of the Minds Eye >the newspaper comic pre 1980 >the marvel comic pre 1980 >The Star Wars Holiday Special
There you go, all problems solved and then don't make any new material ever again.
It's over. Star Wars ended in 2005. Only thing I really care about is getting the original cuts of the first two movies in the national film registry, and also getting rid of that shit tier "no" from the ROTJ edit.
Honestly I started to just view this series as a sequel to the prequel trilogy rather than a prequel to the original trilogy and my enjoyment of it increased.
>fix star wars without retconning everything
Go into the past, thousands of years, no characters from current timeline, everything is new, women aren't allowed to do anything other than cater on my set, blacks only get cast in comedic roles, other non-whites can only appear as supporting characters or side characters, white straight male lead, like the whitest most blue eyed and blonde haired fit guy in the industry right now, cast a love interest for him and her outfits will all be extremely loose but her temperament will be chaste and reserved as if the loose clothing is an accident, use mix of CGI and props, pour half the budget into choreography and the score, I write the entire script on my own no one else can touch it, story is about new Jedi and Sith orders from the ancient times, never ever film on a sand location ever under any circumstances, all the settings will be urban mega future cities or lush green farm planets, add lots of lightsaber colors but no homosexual spinning blades and crossguard shit, make sure to include at least one hetero kiss scene between the protagonist and his virgin waifu, detail a scene where the protagonist discusses how disgusting trannies are and all of the other good guys agree with him, make the funny black character say "white lives matter" at some point in the movie, end with the villain being revealed to be a ~~*toydarian*~~ and he's thrown into a giant space oven and defeated, the end.
>Ahsoka mini-series >she finds Ezra >"worlds between worlds" asspull >she convinces the republic to go full exterminatus on Exegol so the sequels never happened >do Kyle Katarn movies and and never speak of the clone wars again.
The problem is the directing and writing. There some good concepts and moments in this show:
>Obi Wan having severe ptsd not only about his fight but his failure as a mentor that let the galaxy in darkness is incredibly powerful
>Vader creating the inquisitors to hunt down all the Jedi is perfectly reasonable, as well as creating division between them so they never team up against him or the Emperor
>Leia being in some kind of danger that leads her to be saved by Obi Wan, and therefore trust in him in the future with the Death Star plans is also a good idea
The execution is incredibly flawed though, and you leave each episode questioning the credentials of every creative mind behind the project.
>fix star wars without retconning everything
I'd need a literal retroactive continuity for mine, but I'd go back in time and force Disney to release The Force Awakens on May 25 2017 for the 40th anniversary. This extra pre-production/production time would have resulted in a better episode 7 which would have resulted in a better sequel trilogy which would have prevented Solo from bombing which would have prevented Disney from making these low budget low risk shitty "episodic entertainment" shows
Nah. It still would have been gay and stupid. Disney has to cater to two main audiences in their minds 1.90 IQ hispanics and nogs who see every movie that comes out and 2. gay shitlibs who use things like Harry Potter and Star Wars as their personal religion morality plays. Even if they delayed TFA, it still would have been moronic homosexualry, just with 33% better direction.
I see everyone jerking this episode off everywhere.
Am I the only one that felt there confrontation was absolute fricking ass? The dragging in fire bit was a nice touch, but the actual clash was boring as all hell.
I think it's because in this episode, the tension is at least high (though there is obviously zero stakes since Obi Wan, Leia, and Vader all live). The writing and direction is even dumber than episode 1 and 2 though, as Obi Wan outright says he's a Jedi and made up the story 5 feet from the farmer, and the wall of fire/robot saving Obi Wan despite Vader being 10 feet away is equally moronic. It's also clear that this show only exists as holocaust propaganda, which is ridiculous since the Jedi are more like old Pagan Idols crushed by Christianization (with Anakin being like an evil Jesus commiting Iconoclasm, and the 12 Jedi Council Members being the 12 Olympians), and Luke being an Apollo/Lucifer like figure to take down the Yahweh/Jesus like combo of the Emperor and Vader.
>without retconning everything
No. >Retcon all of Disney Wars >adapt Dark Forces, Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight, Mysteries of the Sith, Jedi Outcast and Jedi Academy into a series
everything that's happened since the issues with the trade federation have been the manipulations of a secretive and powerful sect of force users that worship chaos. even the "mortis" gods and whills were lies told by them, in focused illusions sent to the most powerful jedi to stir their senses and alter their beliefs.
it's literally "a wizard did it", but if i can't retcon it all away, i gotta do something.
as for how their powerful trickery would finally be ended, bring in the yuuzhan vong invasion. they invade, their force resistance makes them immune to trickery, eventually it leads to rey, her padawan, and darth krayt and his acolytes(who have been in hiding on korriban(frick lucas for that "morriban" shit) to killing their leadership while the vong invade their homeworld.
Create an alternate timeline that makes the EU cannon in parallel. In the EU timeline, something happens during the clone wars that makes it so the Disney movies and shows (Rouge One, 7-9, Solo, Mando, and Rebels) don't happen. Probably something that makes it so Palpatine and the Imperial forces are stronger (killed way more of the Jedi on the day of Order 66 as well) so he didn't need things like Rey's clone father, Plans for the First Order, or as large of an Inquisitor force as it was in Rebels (limited to a few Sith Assassins who are individually more powerful like Mara Jade to look for Luke alone as one of the only light side users left).
It's unsalvageable at this point, even with retcons. That being said, this is what I would have done if I was in control of Lucasfilm after the Disney buyout: >sequel trilogy is about Luke, Leia, Han and ONLY OT characters coming back for one last hurrah >The Clone Wars and empire's conquests were a massive Sith blood ritual that Darth Plagueis set in motion unknown to Darth Sidious >Plagueis wanted to be killed and the ritual brings him back as a Sith god. Now getting the jedi force ghosts together to counter it makes sense >Sequel trilogy+ is about Luke, Leia, and Han passing the torch to new characters >They fight against the Yuzon Vong >Do a Revan trilogy >Do a Book of Sith show where each season is about a different sith lord (Bane, Horde, Ragnos, etc.) >Thrawn show >Copy Final Fantasy XIV but with Star Wars
There, I just made Disney ~$50 billion
The scene directly after this is incompetently shot. The director has Obi running into the frame from the opposite direction which gives the illusion that he is running back to Vader.
They could've just ripped off the Kenobi book and had him dealing with crime syndicates, outlaws, shit like that, while also trying to protect people and hide his identity. If you really wanted to you could have Anakin in flashbacks, and maybe he discovers Vader is alive at the end. I love Darth Vader as much as anyone but bringing him back to fight Obi Wan is just stupid fanservice.
Why is Obi Wan running away at the sight of Vader? The same guy who jumped in the middle of a hundred droids and taunted Grievous like a wienery bastard is now running away from a fight. Why can't we have nice things.
>The same guy who jumped in the middle of a hundred droids and taunted Grievous like a wienery bastard
that was so dumb >Back away! I will deal with this Jedi slime, myself! >Your move >jk lmfao blast this fricking dipshit
that's how it should have happened
Easy. First, fire everyone. Conduct a strict hiring process overseen solely by Cinemaphile. Bring in the original authors of the following series to adapt them for films or shows, released in chronological order: >Thrawn Trilogy >Jedi Academy >New Jedi Order (19 books)
Easily two decades of movies and shows.
Hire the Japanese artist who did the following 8 covers to preside over designs and storyboards. Cast based off this artwork.
Honestly the only way is to reboot it from Episodes 4 5 6. Do the same stories but obv expand on certain set pieces, events, better special effects. Longer fight between Obi and Darth where Obi dies. Cast Sebastian Stan as Luke. Make it 3+ hours (people want this from star wars). Make it more adult. Then do the prequels and sequels and change the frick out of those from what Lucas and Kathleen did.
I dont call it a retcon I call it a parallel universe or multiverse or whatever the frick the kids like nowadays except Padme lives and I dont know, Anakin mindbreaks her, or convinces or some shit and we get three movies of prime portman in imperial uniforms tailored to fit her like a glove
Cast some redhead as Mara Jade and say she gave Luke some kids who they hid away on some obscure pocket of the galaxy. They're the new protagonists. Sequeltrannies can have their stories too; it's a big galaxy.
There, fixed everything
It's impossible. They had one shot at a sequel trilogy featuring the og characters and they fricking blew it. The universe is dead imo and nothing can save it. Even if Disney sold it to people who actually care it wouldn't matter. Too late.
Star Wars doesn't need fixing. Disney garbage is not and has not ever been canon. It doesn't exist. Star Wars is as it always was, 6 movies and the EU. Perfection.
You have to retcon the last series. The only thing I could think of was to have Luke waking up after dreaming about the last trilogy erasing it completely. Like it was some really strong force dream or something idk. Thats how bad it is.
Only release something once every three years at the most. That means one video game, one movie, or one tv season every three years. The over saturation of content is killing it for me even more than how shitty the content is.
Never make another Star Wars product ever again. After a certain amount of time everyone will completely forget anything other than what George Lucas created existed.
The only way to fix star wars without a retcon is to cater to the demographic that watches it, man children. As much as disney may hate this reality, all sci fi and superhero content is the domain of man children, it has always and will always be this way as long as our current society exists in the way that it does now.
George knew what he was doing, why else would he make a movie mostly based in politics while putting women in skimpy outfits, for children? no, man children. His bread and butter. It's real easy disney, just cater to the most profitable demographic, man children.
>Years after the last movie >a smuggler woman finds and picks up an escape pod drifting in space >in the pod is Kylo Ren, badly malnourished and dehydrated. >she lets him rest to full health while traveling to her destination >asks what his name is, he says ben >they land on Jakku >Kylo freaks out, begs the smuggler to leave >she says no, has to deliver spice >Kylo goes with her, reveal to the audience that the planet is under the control of a new sith lord, who rules more like a pirate that does as she pleases without any regard for persons or property. >Kylo and the smuggler get robbed by the pirates >reveal kylo no longer has a lightsaber, just gives the pirates what they want rather than use a blaster >smuggler gets mad, asks why, he says its better to just give them the goods than to take their lives. >they need to remain on the planet and recoup the losses from the stolen spice >during this time its shown that kylo is meditating on the light side, but he has not mastered it. He’s still full of grief and sorrow for how he killed his master and his parents so quick. >before they are about to leave the planet they’re raided by pirates again >rey is with them, using a double bladed red lightsaber. She’s killing anyone in her path without any care or concern and taking whatever catches her eye. >she notices Kylo, confronts him. >makes a speech telling her to join him, that he’s always been weak in both the light side and the dark side, but with her help he can be stronger than ever before. >he refuses. >ray kills his smuggler gf >kylo flees the planet.
>everything
retcon just what disney has done and also the sale, force it back into lucas' hands so he can sell it to someone who cares a little maybe and can just adapt the EU for the next 100 years without having to think for themselves
i can fix star wars, bros
first rule: no women
>No women
Darth Talon is based though
Sorry, I just meant no non-white women.
Oola's actress was black, wasn't she? There's room for some aliens, I think. Iridonians, for example. Just no uggos.
Reminder that George HATED the EU and that Luke becoming a disillusioned burn out who trains a FEMALE protagonist was all his idea.
he looks based in that concept art. they made it a pathetic fool, not an expert killing machine bum, he should have been more like kenshin himura.
You are confusing idea with execution
The whole thing could've been done well, but that wasn't it.
And? Prequel fans don't care for execution. Otherwise, they would've outgrown them by now.
So Disney had good ideas?
It wasn't George's idea to have Luke burnt out at all. ONE of George's ideas was to have Luke train on the island in secret but it was never his idea to have Luke let his friends die and abandon everyone. You're a dumb npc who fell for bait Instagram posts.
this. Luke would have been in self imposed exile, not because he's given up on life, but because he thinks he's a danger to the galaxy.
It would have been the protagonist to renew his confidence that he can fight the dark side
Just rip off Dune Messiah/Children of Dune. Luke sees the future and decides to go full exiled hermit to prevent it. Fate decrees that the vision must come true and Luke is dragged back into it and he realizes this.
star wars has always been a rip off of dune. the prequels are basically just dune messiah but without any of the based harkonnen and bene gesserit shenanigans
Lucas ceased to be the most interesting storyteller in the universe he created a long time ago.
>Reminder that George HATED the EU
Reminder that he didn't. He liked Shadows of the Empire so much that he considered the canon habbening between ESB and RotJ
I still have my cartridge for this, does it hold up?
100%. That railway level on Ord Mandell with IG88, traversing the mountains in the boba fett level. It's insanely fun still.
There was nothing wrong with the idea of Luke becoming a jaded old man. The problem was that he died at the end of TLJ so he never had the arc where he came out of his shell.
The bright plucky hero becoming a hermit is a classic archetype. Hell, Gundam did it to the main character of the first show, who ended the series with tears in his eyes over the hapiness he felt at being reunited with his friends. 7 years later in Zeta, he's a bitter old man under house arrest, has PTSD and a crippling fear of fighting in space. Imagine if Amuro died in the first half of Zeta before returning to the battlefield, before CCA and before going out like a hero pushing Axis away from Earth. That's why TLJ is so fricking bad. They killed Luke off before letting his character arc reach the redemption phase. He was just a bitter old coot with no pay off and no set up as to why he was bitter in the first place.
>There was nothing wrong with the idea of Luke becoming a jaded old man
Literally everything about that is wrong.
>There was nothing wrong with the idea of Luke becoming a jaded old man
In theory, no
Ideas aren't worth shit until they go through the entire creative process and end up as final products. For example, see all of those weird things that were ideas for the original movie, like Luke Starkiller and used car salesman C-3PO. They're trivia footnotes, nothing more.
Lucas' ST would have had Luke rebuilding the Jedi Order.
You’re late Yidsney shill. Gotta go for that first post or it dorsn’t count!
Why did they make him into a useless hobo? He looks cool in that drawing. Its like they wanted to shit on him.
Thank RJ for taking Star Wars in a "new" "bold" direction
If George hated the EU he wouldn't get involved in it and reference it in his movies, TLJtard.
>starkiller but a woman
Stop making them. Let it die.
Kyle Katarn comes in and BTFO's everyone.
This. dark forces would have made a great movie
>fix Star Wars without fixing it
>without retconning
Can't be a retcon if Disney Wars isn't canon.
i'll be honest i reckon i could have done it before kenobi even with all the sequelshit. but now i don't even know, it feels irreparably ruined. i'd probably just cancel every upcoming project and blow all the budget on an MA-rated Old Republic show set during the Mandalorian Wars written and directed exclusively by me
If you're talking just about this webm then
>stop with the constant cuts, especially the first one
>stop using the handheld cam effect
There, I fixed it.
obiwan gets captured by tusken raiders instead of boba, eventually kills krayt dragon instead of mado, etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc
Failed Jedi Obi Two Kenobi kidnaps Leia. Obi Wan is drawn out of hiding to clear his name. Obi Two Kenobi wants to be Obi Wan but never will.
Obi Two Kenobi is a post op trans-man with a melted face.
Sith lady hunts Obi Two thinking it’s Obi Wan only to get stabbed and told you will never be a woman. Obi Two cuts off hands then uses the force to choke people using their cut off hands.
Here's how you fix the Obi-Wan show at least
>remove black lady
>remove Leia
>have Obi-Wan get into adventures on Tatooine while looking over Luke, feeling guilt over having failed his father (yes Tatooine is overused but that's Disney's fault)
>go on some kind of mission for the Rebellion in space, see for himself the kind of stuff the Empire is doing
>tangle with the Empire and eventually confront Vader as a result of said mission
>the two of them say a bit more than a couple of generic action movie one-liners to each other before they fight
>something happens that prematurely ends the fight, Obi-Wan goes back to watching Luke, realizes he's got to train him one day
>cue credits
also
>make it clear its a mini series, maybe two seasons
>introduce new characters that support Obi-Wan but die off
>have his ultimate adventure lead him to an emergency broadcast of exile Jedi
>find out Vader murdered them and left it as a trap
The mentality of Disney is they know that the characters they use besides someone in a mask has a expiration date, so they're constantly in the pursuit of introducing a new fan favorite character they can milk.
Literally the pursuit of a Poochie
>have Obi-Wan get into adventures on Tatooine
You are thinking small, anon. A series of Obi-wan comics (pic related) are being published which in my opinion hit the plot very well: Obi-wan is on Tatooine, stuck in a sandstorm, he opens his diary and starts writing the adventures lived as a Jedi.
We may have:
> episodes dedicated to his youth with Qui-Gon
> episodes dedicated to the relationship with Anakin, when he is still a padawan
> episodes dedicated to maturity, during the Clone Wars
6-9 installments of pure distilled kino.
Name of the comic and the publisher? This looks intriguing....
The publisher hasn't accused us of being racist, have they?
>The publisher hasn't accused us of being racist, have they?
Lol no way
https://readcomiconline.li/Comic/Star-Wars-Obi-Wan-Kenobi
>show titled Obi-Wan
>actually about Obi-Wan
That's crazy.
>go on some kind of mission for the Rebellion in space, see for himself the kind of stuff the Empire is doing
>tangle with the Empire and eventually confront Vader as a result of said mission
your ideas went to shit here. Keep him on Tattooine. Keep the Empire out of it and never have him meet Vader.
Based. It's so moronic he meets Vader before episode 4.
>go on some kind of mission for the Rebellion in space
Obi-wan would need a very very good reason to abandon Luke. He sees Luke as the sole hope for the galaxy to the point that Leia having just as much potential slipped his mind in ESB.
You know what.
Now I get why they even included that weird aside with Kenobi vaguely remembering a brother.
It's to handwave away that he never considered Leia to be force proficient.
Kenobi had a brother who was not force sensitive so he assumes that Luke is the next great jedi and Leia isn't.
Cut the budget down to nothing, make them rated R, give them to indie directors.
Basically I want well written grindhouse Star Wars. Is that too much to ask?
>b-bu-but star wars is for le kids!
literally more 30 year old manbabies watch it now than actual children, so yeah i agree.
I for one am excited for the Obi-Wan arc where he and Vader have gay sex, each thinking they are turning the other to their side
This already happened in episode 3
Why is vader standing like that? Has he ever done a spanish matador stance? Looks like dooku.
you can tell they had no direction of how to shoot this before hand, both actors look stiff
>Leia getting chased by bad guys/Obi-wan
>Reva parkour
>this scene
What's with all of the awkward "running" scenes in this show?
very real possibility that this novice-tier female director doesn't know how to transition a scene where someone is fleeing or running.
long takes of Obi-Wan mildly jogging around a quarry is the most absurd thing I don't know I'd even see it in a fan film.
Easy peasy. No retcon, simply remove Empire Strikes Back and everything that came after it. That leaves:
>Star Wars (1977 film)
>Splinter of the Minds Eye
>the newspaper comic pre 1980
>the marvel comic pre 1980
>The Star Wars Holiday Special
There you go, all problems solved and then don't make any new material ever again.
>1970's SW comics
Jesus fricking Christ...
Would Splinter of the Minds Eye be a good cartoon movie idea? What about a movie-game
>See Threepio
>Artoo Detoo
I've been spelling it wrong this whole time
It's over. Star Wars ended in 2005. Only thing I really care about is getting the original cuts of the first two movies in the national film registry, and also getting rid of that shit tier "no" from the ROTJ edit.
everything you dont like is just what sheev imagine as he falling down
kek, best answer so far
Honestly I started to just view this series as a sequel to the prequel trilogy rather than a prequel to the original trilogy and my enjoyment of it increased.
Notice why nobody talks about Retconning Tom & Jerry or the Flintstones?
Why not just let star wars die as a product of the naive space age? if it's silly it's only because space exploration's hopes died after Reagan
because disney spent billions on it and their investment isn't quite as stellar as they would hope.
>fix star wars without retconning everything
Go into the past, thousands of years, no characters from current timeline, everything is new, women aren't allowed to do anything other than cater on my set, blacks only get cast in comedic roles, other non-whites can only appear as supporting characters or side characters, white straight male lead, like the whitest most blue eyed and blonde haired fit guy in the industry right now, cast a love interest for him and her outfits will all be extremely loose but her temperament will be chaste and reserved as if the loose clothing is an accident, use mix of CGI and props, pour half the budget into choreography and the score, I write the entire script on my own no one else can touch it, story is about new Jedi and Sith orders from the ancient times, never ever film on a sand location ever under any circumstances, all the settings will be urban mega future cities or lush green farm planets, add lots of lightsaber colors but no homosexual spinning blades and crossguard shit, make sure to include at least one hetero kiss scene between the protagonist and his virgin waifu, detail a scene where the protagonist discusses how disgusting trannies are and all of the other good guys agree with him, make the funny black character say "white lives matter" at some point in the movie, end with the villain being revealed to be a ~~*toydarian*~~ and he's thrown into a giant space oven and defeated, the end.
you're too good for star wars anon
11/10 would watch. made me kek
>Ahsoka mini-series
>she finds Ezra
>"worlds between worlds" asspull
>she convinces the republic to go full exterminatus on Exegol so the sequels never happened
>do Kyle Katarn movies and and never speak of the clone wars again.
I sell it to pornhub and we just get porn involving rubberhead alien women with multimillion dollar budgets and a small dip in writing quality
Delete the sequels
Delete attack of the clones
Delete return of the jedi
>Delete return of the jedi
Found the pleb
i dont understand what's wrong with this
Obiwan has ptsd and clearly hasnt kept up with jedi training
The problem is the directing and writing. There some good concepts and moments in this show:
>Obi Wan having severe ptsd not only about his fight but his failure as a mentor that let the galaxy in darkness is incredibly powerful
>Vader creating the inquisitors to hunt down all the Jedi is perfectly reasonable, as well as creating division between them so they never team up against him or the Emperor
>Leia being in some kind of danger that leads her to be saved by Obi Wan, and therefore trust in him in the future with the Death Star plans is also a good idea
The execution is incredibly flawed though, and you leave each episode questioning the credentials of every creative mind behind the project.
>fix star wars without retconning everything
I'd need a literal retroactive continuity for mine, but I'd go back in time and force Disney to release The Force Awakens on May 25 2017 for the 40th anniversary. This extra pre-production/production time would have resulted in a better episode 7 which would have resulted in a better sequel trilogy which would have prevented Solo from bombing which would have prevented Disney from making these low budget low risk shitty "episodic entertainment" shows
Nah. It still would have been gay and stupid. Disney has to cater to two main audiences in their minds 1.90 IQ hispanics and nogs who see every movie that comes out and 2. gay shitlibs who use things like Harry Potter and Star Wars as their personal religion morality plays. Even if they delayed TFA, it still would have been moronic homosexualry, just with 33% better direction.
I see everyone jerking this episode off everywhere.
Am I the only one that felt there confrontation was absolute fricking ass? The dragging in fire bit was a nice touch, but the actual clash was boring as all hell.
It's the sequel trilogy all over again.
I think it's because in this episode, the tension is at least high (though there is obviously zero stakes since Obi Wan, Leia, and Vader all live). The writing and direction is even dumber than episode 1 and 2 though, as Obi Wan outright says he's a Jedi and made up the story 5 feet from the farmer, and the wall of fire/robot saving Obi Wan despite Vader being 10 feet away is equally moronic. It's also clear that this show only exists as holocaust propaganda, which is ridiculous since the Jedi are more like old Pagan Idols crushed by Christianization (with Anakin being like an evil Jesus commiting Iconoclasm, and the 12 Jedi Council Members being the 12 Olympians), and Luke being an Apollo/Lucifer like figure to take down the Yahweh/Jesus like combo of the Emperor and Vader.
i always saw the fall of the jedi as analogous to the fall of samurai
It just looks like a cheap TV show in every way. These characters deserved a film
>without retconning everything
No.
>Retcon all of Disney Wars
>adapt Dark Forces, Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight, Mysteries of the Sith, Jedi Outcast and Jedi Academy into a series
Based Katarn enjoyer
So was it a dream sequence like everyone theorized?
everything that's happened since the issues with the trade federation have been the manipulations of a secretive and powerful sect of force users that worship chaos. even the "mortis" gods and whills were lies told by them, in focused illusions sent to the most powerful jedi to stir their senses and alter their beliefs.
it's literally "a wizard did it", but if i can't retcon it all away, i gotta do something.
as for how their powerful trickery would finally be ended, bring in the yuuzhan vong invasion. they invade, their force resistance makes them immune to trickery, eventually it leads to rey, her padawan, and darth krayt and his acolytes(who have been in hiding on korriban(frick lucas for that "morriban" shit) to killing their leadership while the vong invade their homeworld.
Create an alternate timeline that makes the EU cannon in parallel. In the EU timeline, something happens during the clone wars that makes it so the Disney movies and shows (Rouge One, 7-9, Solo, Mando, and Rebels) don't happen. Probably something that makes it so Palpatine and the Imperial forces are stronger (killed way more of the Jedi on the day of Order 66 as well) so he didn't need things like Rey's clone father, Plans for the First Order, or as large of an Inquisitor force as it was in Rebels (limited to a few Sith Assassins who are individually more powerful like Mara Jade to look for Luke alone as one of the only light side users left).
It's unsalvageable at this point, even with retcons. That being said, this is what I would have done if I was in control of Lucasfilm after the Disney buyout:
>sequel trilogy is about Luke, Leia, Han and ONLY OT characters coming back for one last hurrah
>The Clone Wars and empire's conquests were a massive Sith blood ritual that Darth Plagueis set in motion unknown to Darth Sidious
>Plagueis wanted to be killed and the ritual brings him back as a Sith god. Now getting the jedi force ghosts together to counter it makes sense
>Sequel trilogy+ is about Luke, Leia, and Han passing the torch to new characters
>They fight against the Yuzon Vong
>Do a Revan trilogy
>Do a Book of Sith show where each season is about a different sith lord (Bane, Horde, Ragnos, etc.)
>Thrawn show
>Copy Final Fantasy XIV but with Star Wars
There, I just made Disney ~$50 billion
The scene directly after this is incompetently shot. The director has Obi running into the frame from the opposite direction which gives the illusion that he is running back to Vader.
They could've just ripped off the Kenobi book and had him dealing with crime syndicates, outlaws, shit like that, while also trying to protect people and hide his identity. If you really wanted to you could have Anakin in flashbacks, and maybe he discovers Vader is alive at the end. I love Darth Vader as much as anyone but bringing him back to fight Obi Wan is just stupid fanservice.
Why is Obi Wan running away at the sight of Vader? The same guy who jumped in the middle of a hundred droids and taunted Grievous like a wienery bastard is now running away from a fight. Why can't we have nice things.
His morale wasn't broken and he had a clone army as backup.
>The same guy who jumped in the middle of a hundred droids and taunted Grievous like a wienery bastard
that was so dumb
>Back away! I will deal with this Jedi slime, myself!
>Your move
>jk lmfao blast this fricking dipshit
that's how it should have happened
Amazing how quickly they killed what was once my favorite franchise
obi wan shits himself and vader feels sorry for him
but then 10 years later he gets mad on the death star and kills him
Obi wan and greedo go on an epic quest for the mystical maclunkey
Easy. First, fire everyone. Conduct a strict hiring process overseen solely by Cinemaphile. Bring in the original authors of the following series to adapt them for films or shows, released in chronological order:
>Thrawn Trilogy
>Jedi Academy
>New Jedi Order (19 books)
Easily two decades of movies and shows.
Hire the Japanese artist who did the following 8 covers to preside over designs and storyboards. Cast based off this artwork.
Who are we casting as Jaina
Is that the motherfricking Shadow Academy?
Honestly the only way is to reboot it from Episodes 4 5 6. Do the same stories but obv expand on certain set pieces, events, better special effects. Longer fight between Obi and Darth where Obi dies. Cast Sebastian Stan as Luke. Make it 3+ hours (people want this from star wars). Make it more adult. Then do the prequels and sequels and change the frick out of those from what Lucas and Kathleen did.
I dont call it a retcon I call it a parallel universe or multiverse or whatever the frick the kids like nowadays except Padme lives and I dont know, Anakin mindbreaks her, or convinces or some shit and we get three movies of prime portman in imperial uniforms tailored to fit her like a glove
mmmmmmm yes. An SS brapman would have been heavenly
>fix star wars
Done.
Based
Cast some redhead as Mara Jade and say she gave Luke some kids who they hid away on some obscure pocket of the galaxy. They're the new protagonists. Sequeltrannies can have their stories too; it's a big galaxy.
There, fixed everything
That's pretty much the only way to save the franchise now anon
It's impossible. They had one shot at a sequel trilogy featuring the og characters and they fricking blew it. The universe is dead imo and nothing can save it. Even if Disney sold it to people who actually care it wouldn't matter. Too late.
Everything is the same, except Daisy Ridley's ass is surgically attached to my face.
Star Wars doesn't need fixing. Disney garbage is not and has not ever been canon. It doesn't exist. Star Wars is as it always was, 6 movies and the EU. Perfection.
keep 1-6
get rid of everything else
even the stuff I like, get rid of it. don't need it.
Get George back
You have to retcon the last series. The only thing I could think of was to have Luke waking up after dreaming about the last trilogy erasing it completely. Like it was some really strong force dream or something idk. Thats how bad it is.
>Luke snaps out of vision of ST
>kills Ben
kek
this looks like a fan parody
>retconning everything
What about time travel
Rebels established time travel
That's so bad. Is this a fan film? They made Star Wars be so uncool.
Give it a huge time skip so none of the previous shit matters
The entire galaxy is consumed by a humongous black hole the end.
1-6 is canon. Everything else goes into the fanfiction section. George is back to produce Clone Wars 2d kino.
Only release something once every three years at the most. That means one video game, one movie, or one tv season every three years. The over saturation of content is killing it for me even more than how shitty the content is.
>"Uncle Luke!! Uncel Luke!!"
>Luke wakes up in his bed
>door opens, his nephew Ben comes in
>Luke: "I had a terrible nightmare"
I retcon everything into non-existence except for Mando season 1, which was decent, and then make Legends canon again (except Dark Empire and TCW).
Never make another Star Wars product ever again. After a certain amount of time everyone will completely forget anything other than what George Lucas created existed.
jesus CHRIST
I make a Darth Bane trilogy.
The only way to fix star wars without a retcon is to cater to the demographic that watches it, man children. As much as disney may hate this reality, all sci fi and superhero content is the domain of man children, it has always and will always be this way as long as our current society exists in the way that it does now.
Lucas understood this.
George knew what he was doing, why else would he make a movie mostly based in politics while putting women in skimpy outfits, for children? no, man children. His bread and butter. It's real easy disney, just cater to the most profitable demographic, man children.
and the term "manchild" in reality is just adolescent males ages 16-29. Not the demographic you wanted, but it is the one you purchased nonetheless.
>Years after the last movie
>a smuggler woman finds and picks up an escape pod drifting in space
>in the pod is Kylo Ren, badly malnourished and dehydrated.
>she lets him rest to full health while traveling to her destination
>asks what his name is, he says ben
>they land on Jakku
>Kylo freaks out, begs the smuggler to leave
>she says no, has to deliver spice
>Kylo goes with her, reveal to the audience that the planet is under the control of a new sith lord, who rules more like a pirate that does as she pleases without any regard for persons or property.
>Kylo and the smuggler get robbed by the pirates
>reveal kylo no longer has a lightsaber, just gives the pirates what they want rather than use a blaster
>smuggler gets mad, asks why, he says its better to just give them the goods than to take their lives.
>they need to remain on the planet and recoup the losses from the stolen spice
>during this time its shown that kylo is meditating on the light side, but he has not mastered it. He’s still full of grief and sorrow for how he killed his master and his parents so quick.
>before they are about to leave the planet they’re raided by pirates again
>rey is with them, using a double bladed red lightsaber. She’s killing anyone in her path without any care or concern and taking whatever catches her eye.
>she notices Kylo, confronts him.
>makes a speech telling her to join him, that he’s always been weak in both the light side and the dark side, but with her help he can be stronger than ever before.
>he refuses.
>ray kills his smuggler gf
>kylo flees the planet.
>slowly jogs away
lmao