>giant spider
>isn't a bro
>is actually a total c**t
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>giant spider. >isn't a bro. >is actually a total cunt
>giant spider
>isn't a bro
>is actually a total c**t
It's All Fucked Shirt $22.14 |
|
It's All Fucked Shirt $22.14 |
I actually just watched that and thought the same thing. What a gay.
It was a double trickaroo, you think the spider is gonna be a big meany, then you think he isn't, then he is.
If spiders were big they'd eat us, but they aren't so they eat things smaller than us, so they're bros. That's just how nature works.
Australia lives by different rules and doesn't count
there's apparently giant spiders that burrow into the ground in like Brazil or something that are supposed to be deadly like the size of a dog or some shit
Awesome. Are they hot?
NEED extremely deadly spider gf who has the ability to kill humans but spares me....
for me it's Dullahan
Yellow eyes cause fear in me for some reason.
good taste
where is her pusy located?
Between those dangly legs
No. It's called Goliath Birdeater and it's not that big are you crazy
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goliath_birdeater
Or trapdoor spider maybe because it burrorws underground but it's like the size of you palm or something.
Still deserves incineration obviously.
There are crabs that grow to the size of dogs though.
>did-a-chick
nonononon
>dad-a-chum
These things are the WORST smelling creatures on the planet.
We will never get a true adaptation.
>We will never get a true adaptation.
King has no respect for his own intellectual property so almost all his adaptations are shit.
Lets be honest though. Even Frank D. could not make it good. Dark Tower is indeed one of those works that can not be adapted correctly. Tull being the one example that stands out.
why? what do they smell like?
Badass animal
Look at em go
>spiders the size of a dog
current times are not the Carboniferous,dumbass
wasn't it the congo?
>like the size of a dog
Big if true
>Big if true
It would be, yes
bro that must have been some good acid
this is a lie
we have spiders that poison give erections for 24 hours
And big scary ones that have no poison but it will hurt like a motherfricker to be bitten by them
And then we have our own brown recluse
What a fricking butthole of an animal
Dumb zoomer, taking everything they read on the internet at face-value
>t. spiderBlack person
I life one I spotted in my room alone once. Told myself it won't want anything to do with me. 10 minutes later someone tells me there's a spider behind me I turn around and the fricker is charging at me.
You can never trust a spider.
>he relaxed
that is all on you.
It just wants love, Anon.
frick of I have a spider wall above my bed and those guys have lived there for 6 years now you're just a little b***h
AROUND SPIDERS, DON'T RESPIDER
Pity is wasn't a sexy Tolkien spider-lady.
Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo's throbbing member
nice
why didn't they just avada kadavra him or his children
who did he frick to have all those children
A spider
>why didn't they just avada kadavra him or his children
it would have made Hagrid sad
>who did he frick to have all those children
Hagrid bought him a mail order spider wife
As much as Aragog was a homosexual him and Hagrid were still bros.
>let a big spider bro live in my bedroom for weeks
>wake up one morning with a big spider bite on my leg
>he's just standing there staring at me
He broke the NAP, get the bugspray
this homie taking a scorpion across the river
I gotta drop off this duck first but then I promise I'll come back
lel
>live in an old shitty house so spiders always get in even if I keep everything shut down
>had compassion for spiders and would always release them if I found one
>a wolf spider crawled in my bed and bit my balls in my sleep
>kill them on sight now
Are you a eunuch now? No balls?
I fortunately didn't get Renner'd but it itched like a motherfricker and ballsack skin is more difficult to scratch compared to the rest of your body.
Shouldn't have rolled over onto him while you were sleeping.
-"Ayo FRICK this homie in PARTICULAR and FRICK tha continent he live on in GENERAL." t. God
That spider gay
>try to do this even though I'm scared of spiders
>spot a big one
>it hides behind some furniture in my room
>can no longer take the passive route
>dump a ton of wienerroach spray behind the furniture (if it can kill those fricking roaches it can kill spiders)
>can't go to sleep until the sun's up because I can't stop thinking it survived
I just capture all the spiders I find and put them in a terrarium. They eat eachother and I get the satisfaction of watching.
200 IQ move
>"Christopher, my son, did I ever tell you the full story of Shelob? You know, the monstrous spider - descended from the vile Ungoliant! - which I used to read aloud of in _I our Oxford meetings of the Inklings? Well what didn't mention back then was Shelob could also transform into a totally hot babe: all pale and dark and wan like Rebecca in Ivanhoe or what will later come to be known as the goth subculture. In fact she looked very much like the pornographic actress Stoya who will be born 13 years after I die. Christopher, I will be entrusting you with my estate. If there is ever a videogame adaptation of my work you must make sure they get this Shelob right - make sure she is what the Anglo-Saxons would have called a haeda ecge, a real sexy b***h."
>lying in bed trying to sleep
>I don't sleep good anymore but I'm trying
>feel crawling on my arm
>think maybe it's just an itch
>scratch my arm and now my hand is wet with big guts
>find legs on sheet after washing up
>feel gross the rest of the night and dont fall asleep till morning light comes through the window like I do every day now
Movies for this feel?
>he doesn't cocoonmaxx
>not covering eyes and ears with tank top
>not blasting ac while under several pillows and blankets
>didnt even down a bottle of nyquil before bed
You deserve every waking moment.
I'm in a shithole apartment
No central air
Only AC is a portable unit in the living room
It's at least 15 degrees warmer in my bedroom
I have to sleep with only a light sheet half covering me and a fan blowing on my face
When winter comes tho I'll be comfy mode
Kino
Didn't it die in the last film or something?
got stabbed and scurried off, she may have died when mordor was destroyed along with sauron
This is Aragog from Harry Potter 2, who dies in 6 from spider cancer (or whatever, haven’t read it since it came out).
looking back thats so dumb
>hey you're my friends' good friends
>however I'm gonna feed you to my kids
imagine Hagrids reaction, like YOU FED MY FRIENDS TO YOUR BABIES YOU FRICKING FREAK
i buy it though
animals are no better than animals.. they'll use any little loophole they can logic to get theirs
It just sounds so moronic to me (which I know shouldn't surprise me since it's HP)
>hey, my treasured friend clearly treasures you people as his close friends
>however I'm going to feed you ALIVE to dozens of man sized spiders
>there's no way my treasured friend will have ny sort of anonymity against me for this
I wondered this too, supposedly there's 2 reasons, one is that we don't like things that have more than 4 legs/arms like we do as we see it as weird, second is that spiders can go from still to max movement speed instantly which freaks our brains out because we're accustomed to things needing a couple seconds to reach top speed
Always been terrified of bugs, spiders don't freak me out as much, but I still don't really like looking at them too long. Really did not care for Aragog though, something about him really freaked me out, also I hate how big and wet his eyes look
>still to max movement speed
That's one of the things that freaks me out about bugs so much in general, their movement looks so unnatural and menacing to me
Yeah and they play it off like he didn’t try to kill Harry and Ron
My mother likes to tell the story of a big orb weaver spider she saw weaving a web outside an alcove window in one of our old houses. She gradually became entranced by what a beautiful spider it was, and how beautiful her web was. This was when my mother was having me and my sisters, so she was regularly pregnant.
One day a torrential rainstorm came through our neighborhood. It washed the spider and her web away. My mother says she cried when she saw the spider was gone.
Sad story anon. Poor spider.
I always disliked spiders as a kid and couldn't even look at some in films close up, then as a teenager I decided I shouldn't be scared of them so I started watching videos about them when I was drunk to make it easier, I still don't like them but I can look at them in films/irl just fine and from a certain point of view they're quite pretty, like I learned there were tarantulas with bright blue or purple colour patterns etc
i'm better with them nowadays but the super-spindly ones still spook me. they just look so unnaturally fragile
I’m like you. Tried really hard to make myself not be disgusted by them but haven’t got all the way there. Their disgustingness aside, they’re really fricking fascinating. From an evolutionary point of view, webspinning seems like an impossibly complex step, but when it finally happened, they became the absolutely most adept predators on earth (relative to size). Fascinating shit
Look up Orbweavers, I have a ton next to me. They spin these giant ass perfectly symmetrical webs every night and take them down in the morning. Pretty amazing
Well good news for your mother:
I heard that the itsy bitsy spider crawled up the spout again so it lived a long and healthy life. No worries m80.
>in ze alcoves
>a fricking uzi?
He was going on to you too about the alcoves?
Your mother seems like an interesting woman
>t. picrel
>orb weaver
>beautiful web
There's an orb spider outside my window that has reduced the amount of flies getting in my room by like 90%. I love that little guy like you can't believe.
Your dad was spider
RIP spider
>isn't a bro
>is actually a total c**t
Immersion lost. Completely unrealistic,.
>spider living up in corner of my bedroom
>only company I had in years
>always would say hi to it when I got home
>one day he startled me by being lower down on the wall when i walked through the door
>instinctively smashed him in an instant
>alone again
don't lie anon, you didn't had a spider. No one ever was in that room, except for you
Had this with those little jumping spider guys
>Crawl close to me, I never panic when they're around
>Have a fly issue because yard is in shitty area that reeks no matter what we do
>Feel tickle on arm. Probably arm hair.
>See tiny guy on my arm, he was brave enough to clamber up the chair and onto me to get to the desk-
>PANIC AND APE BRAIN SMACK IT OFF!
>Feel horrible because he lived, and I knocked off two of his back legs so now he has to spin when he walks around.
Is that Aragog? I literally just woke up from dreaming a reenactment of the scene when they try to leave and she explains that while she appreciates they're friends of Hagrid, she can't let her children go hungry. Except, on my dream, there was no Harry and Ron. It was just some guy. This dream caused me to be late for work as I slept in AND I'm working from home. It looks like no one important has noticed I've been offline for 1 hour and a half. I've missed two meetings.
make sense, spiders are c**ts
>make sense, spiders are c**ts
Take that back.
How come we never heard about big scary prehistory spiders? Or scorpions for that matter? They've been around for ages.
no idea but its weird how a lot of people are afraid of them right off the bat usually. I wonder why that is. I mean I see a small lizard and I'm like cool, I see a dragonfly zip past me and I think neat, and then I see a spider and I'm like what the frick get away from me. i mean what is it with them and us? why am I reacting this way? I don't want to but I do
Because you know their poison is dangerous?
We are hardwired to be afraid of them.
https://studyfinds.org/babies-snakes-spiders-fear/
It’s because they are poisonous dumb dumb
no living thing should have legs that fricking long compared to the rest of its body
and 8 of them, too
They have done studies using babies with snakes and spiders as stimuli (and other animals as control). Babies expressed fear with the snakes and spiders despite never having seen them before - did not display this behaviour for the control animals they had also never seen before.
Research suggests fear of snakes and spiders is encoded into our DNA - or we are hard coded in our DNA to be afraid of how snakes and spiders move.
This all suggests OPs point that we were indeed fighting these buttholes back in prehistoric times.
The truly big ones died out before the dinosaurs existed, so it's a b***h to find any information on them
No skeleton means no fossils, only chance to get bugs is ambar and shit
But any insect big enough is NOT going to be trapped in ambar, they'll just walk it off
The giant scorpions were aquatic ocean animals. It's harder for arthropods to grow large when they have to support their own weight on land.
Megarachne was once thought to be a giant spider but it turned out to be a eurypterid, a type of extinct water bug often misleadingly refered to as a "sea scorpion" basically. But we still have Pulmonoscorpius and Brontoscorpio as giant true scorpions. Also keep in mind that all of these guys lived on Earth long before dinosaurs, back when there was less competition from vertebrates.
I want to frick one
Just keep in mind she'll sting you despite her claims otherwise, it's in her nature.
>I will now disclose important information to you in order to have my best friend Hagrid released from Azkaban
>but I'll let my children eat you alive before you can tell anyone
shit writing
Standard woman shit testing.
It makes sense from a writing standpoint
>this chapter needs an action beat
>it wouldn't be as funny for Ron to be afraid of spiders and then have a positive encounter with them
>what's the payoff for the car that drove off into the woods?
saw a spider in my bedsheets which i killed then i woke up with a horrible bite on my leg the next day
frick you spiders
for me it's spiders cocooning cute girls peril
G
All spiders are bros, homosexual.
>All spiders are homosexuals, bro.
fify
>giant spider
>is a bro in one movie
> Kingdom of the Spiders (1977)
Very Good
> Arachnid (2001)
Good
> Spiders (2000)
Decent to Good
> Spiders 2 - Breeding Ground (2001)
Weak to Ok / Meh
movie?
>Bout to goto sleep
>See jumping spider on the wall
"how the frick did you even get in here, Buddys theres no food in here..."
>Go to put him on my hand
>He runs away a little
>Move hand infront of him
>He doesn't like, runs away again
>Move hand in way again and leave hand there
>he investigates pokes hand a few times before moving onto it
>move it away from the wall
>he's jumped off
>had my other hand ready to catch and he lands on that
>Jumps again
>had my other hand ready to catch
>juggle spider down the hallway until we're near a potplant
>move my hand next to a big leaf
>spider jumps off
>turns around and just looks at me for ages
>Scurries off onto another leaf.
Imagine you're lost in a desert and this MASSIVE fricking creature shows up, sticks a hand the size of a bus infront of you, you go to run away but theres it's other hand.
Eventually you hop on, and he drops you off at some oasis somewhere.
>tfw pretty certain there’s a couple small balls filled with spider eggs in my basement
How do I get rid of them? Or do I just embrace the spiderverse?
cook em up, in a pan with a little salt and olive oil, delicious
Arachnophobia (1990) and The Fly (1986) are psyops meant to make us afraid of our bug and arachnid pals, don't fall for it.
If I had any superpower, I would cast a barrier around myself that's 100 yards away from me in all directions, making it 200 yards all the way across. The barrier is completely invisible, and no one knows I have it. The barrier's only effect is it ignites every spider in flames, and the webs as well. It's a magical fire that only burns spider DNA so I don't burn down every tree, bush, house plant, house, and building in the world. I take my gift and take a cross country road trip all across the US, like I've always wanted to do, and I cleanse this once great country of the 8 legged Black person once and for all.
>DUUUUHHHHHH THERE WILL BE AN OVER ABUNDANCE OF BUGS THEN HUUUUUUU *slaps chest moronicly
Birds eat bugs. Frogs eat bugs. Liberals eat bugs. Other bugs eat bugs. We'll be fine. Go into that forest, hang out in that bush, and be a kid again, unafraid of getting web all over your skin. If any of you have a spider in the corner of your room, call me and I'll drive by your house. You will soon have a nice holy light in the corner where the demon from hell once was.
And they shall call me, Raid.
Lmao blessed post, but don't spiders repopulate fast enough, I doubt that alone would stop them
Tell me where the spider touched you
Proud of you anon
Do the same for mosquito
>take a train to the other side of the country
>millions of spiders eviscerated
the only reason Aragog didn't give me a fear of spiders was because the basilisk gave me a fear of snakes instead.
>the sons and daughters of Aragog stretched their eight legs.....
>le leg banana
damn those invisible crickets are good at tetherball
Is there something evolutionary that makes me hate spiders? There's a lot of weird critters out there, but spiders are the only one that makes me feel threatened, even though the largest ones are still tiny
Do the spiders in Australia really hide in cars?
shoes too
When I was 10 years old I woke up to something crawling on my leg. I turned on the light and saw a big fricking spider crawling up, when I reached to swat it away, it instead jump on my arm and kept crawling towards my face. Scared the frick out of me but I managed to swat it away. Being the autismo kid I was, I took 4 of my poorly painted Imperial Fist space marines and put one on each of the four corners of my bed to protect me from the xenos every night for like a year lol. To be fair, no spider ever crawled on me again.
Ironically that was a form of chaos magic irl.
You cultivate the dao of arrays son
>Spiders make a compact with the Iron Warriors
You may have doomed us all.
they now think you are someone of influence and dont wish to cause any diplomatic incident
If you are not using them since, maybe the spiders have been crawling on you this whole time, they just haven't decide to act on it... yet.
>see spider
>destroy it
>feel better
Simple as, spiders are actual demons sent by the Demiurge and as such have no Consciousness
>spider problem?
>I'll take care of it... heh
anyone have the Cinemaphile screencap when a mud dauber stuck a shit ton of spiders into some guy's Wii U?
because spiders are disgusting and evil
I hate these things. Too many eyes, you know?
>haven't found spiders scary since I was 12
>think they're pretty neat creatures actually and appreciate them killing other insects like flies and mosquitos as long as they don't infest an area
I honestly don't understand why I ever disliked them. Most spiders just frick off to a corner and stay there and have no interest in you. More poisonous and aggressive spiders like a Brown Recluse might be a pain, but that's just like any other animal. Animals that I am afraid of are things I've encountered in the wild and can't just smash with a magazine like mountain lions and grizzly bears. I once had a grizzly bear come down the same hiking path as me with it cubs in Glacier National Park. THAT was scary. Thank frick they crossed a river and left me alone after I backed away with my group
The whole spiderbro meme is gay Reddit crap. Spiders kill the other nasty shit in your place but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be killing spiders too when you see them. Remember you’re only seeing a portion of the spiders that live around you.
I’m biased because I had a bad hiking experience one night where a bunch of spiders spun up webs between both sides of the trail and basically spent an hour and a half walking through fresh webs with spiders on them to get home
do you live in ausland?
No I’m SoCal. We have orbweavers here. They weave big ass webs across walking trails during summer nights, I’ve rode my bike through them a lot. They’re honestly amazing webs and they sometimes will weave them from the street lights down to the floor
>wake up early one day, look out the window
>spiderwebs fricking everywhere
They're fast workers, I'll give them that.
>put some cat food in front of a little huntsman looking guy in the kitchen
>he walks right up to it and starts eating it
>he's actually shoveling cat food into his little maw with those little face arms
I didn't even know they had mouths like that
There are at least five daddy long legs on my walls and ceiling now. I'll leave them be if they don't come on my bed, that's the deal.
I hate those spastic motherfrickers
Women don’t understand arachnids.
We posting spiders now?
spiders are bros. I fricking hate roaches. big as your hand around here, they fly. fricking hate them. anything, anything else is fine.
>Huge Bergman fan, aware false God sometimes comes in the form of a spider.
>See women start wearing that Spider-Man suit for reactions.
>Indifferent towards them.
>Friend is terrified of spiders.
>I kill the mother frickers in cold blood without hesitation. Befriend spider once, saved it from drowning, had the guts to bite me after.
>From then on, I only respect spiders that respect me. The weak fear the strong, I am a giant compared to North American spiders.
>Realise the only spiders you see are males looking for a girlfriend
>They either get squashed for being icky or eaten alive for the small chance of sex
Women who kill spiders are a huge red flag for me and it's served me well.
my spirit animal ha ha
Chamber of secrets was pure sovl and Im tired of pretending that it wasnt
>have spider bites on me
>see spider on my wall while I'm druk
>blood begins to boil and I recall Warwick Davis copypastas
>start throwing shit around my room and swinging a broom around trying to kill it like when Tourettes Guy had a bird in his house
I read this week that some big spiders keep small frogs as pets to take care of their eggs. Weird.
>highschool
>/nightwalk/ with friend around neighborhood high as shit
>stop and hang out in neighborhood playground
>swing on swingset for a good while
>after getting off turn on phone flashlight to look around
>giant fricking orbweaver spider and its web sitting right above where my head was on the swing
>panic attack and almost puke
>put the bins out one night (of course I waited until night time)
>walk right through a web connecting two trees on either side of the driveway
>now I hold my arm up in front of me every time
Fricking orb weavers.
It was always snakes for me, I don’t especially like spiders but I’m not afeaid of them and will generally try to move them unharmed if they get in my house. But with snakes it’s a whole different story, I’m not just scared of them, I hate them the way you’d hate someone that’s wronged you. I hope every snake in the world is burned alive and sent back to the dephts of hell where they came from.
Oh neat, it's this thread again
i love you anon
Spiders deserve the gas
I love spiders
I have 2 tarantulas at home
yes, yes, well done, landwalkers, well done
however