Goldeneye's pre title sequence makes no sense whatsoever

  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    That's why it's based as fuck

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      check'd and dare I say correct

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      cheeked

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    explain

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      HE DIES
      BUT LATER HE IS ALIVE?
      WTF

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Well, he didn't die.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          How? He took a bullet to the head?

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            show me the body

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              I can't. It was in a explosion

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >a explosion
                Illiterate retard detected, disregard thread.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Caught fish line and sinker.

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              Um, sweaty? It's illegal to deny violent events according to the ToS.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Ouromov's gun was filled with blanks. It was a ruse to capture James. But James BUSTED THE FUCK OUT AND JUMPED OFF A CLIFF ON A FUCKING MOTORBIKE THEN JUMPED OFF THE MOTORBIKE INTO A FUCKING PLANE IN FUCKING MID AIR

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              Why didn't the Russians account for this possibility in their planning?

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                They were no match for Brosnan.

                Soviets BTFO

                Damn right.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Putin wasn't in Charge, yet.

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              No, Alec wanted Bond to escape so that he would go back to MI6 and tell everyone Alec was dead thus absolving him and freeing him up to start his arms-dealing syndicate

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                so Alec set up the whole motorcycle escape?

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              Soviets BTFO

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              2nd best opening sequence. Best will always be webm related.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >OH NO HE'S GOING TO DIE JAMES BOND IS GOING TO DIE

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                what if one of his skis had sliced through that chute? this vexes me

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                His torn chute would've been useless and he'd have plummeted to a grisly, violent death. I hope this comforts you.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >I hope this comforts you.
                no not really

                Eh, Bond plots are usually pretty wacky.

                if it ain't broke

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous
              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                That would mean that I would get tons of pussy

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                backup chute

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                no time, he would have died.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                he spins to eject the skis away from him

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous
              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                My favourite thing about this sequence is how awesome and dangerous this stunt is. My second favourite is how infuriated everyone gets by the cowbell in the funky as shit 70s soundtrack and Roger's silly yellow outfit.

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              That's funny, I remember him being a tank and shooting everything that moved on the runway including turret guns.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >I remember him being a tank
                Yeah Brosnan's pretty built

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            What blood got splattered ?

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            It was filled with blanks you retard

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              You're a retard if you think blanks can make someone fall over. And don't say Alec knew exactly when he would fire the blank and timed it exactly right to realistically fall over in a believable way. You have no idea how hard that is. But realism and non comic book logic is just too hard for you to grasp

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous
              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                No I don't think I will

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Apparently suspension of disbelief in a fucking Bond movie of all things is too difficult for you so I’m not sure you’re in a great position here

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Yes. I don't need realism but I do need believability, and trust me, there's a difference

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Not really addressing the point but ok. Sorry you can’t enjoy things I guess?

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                I never said I didn't enjoy it. It's just a silly opening. I'm sorry you can't read.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >And don't say Alec knew exactly when he would fire the blank and timed it exactly right to realistically fall over in a believable way.
                That’s exactly what the actors did in real life.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Yeah but actors are specially trained and have a natural talent for that sort of deception.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                And secret agents don't?

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >spies aren't trained in deception
                huh!

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Exactly. That's how Lazenby got the role. He lied

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              To be fair to OP, he does shoot one of his own soldiers like 5 seconds later so either he had the foresight to only put one blank in the magazine or he got his own guy to fake his death as well.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous
              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >007, I'm General Ouromov.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                somewhat gay stance

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                He's a high ranking officer in the Soviet military, he's probably taken part in dedovschina many times.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >he got his own guy to fake his death as well.
                holy shit
                THE PLOT THICKENS

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                There were no blanks. Orumov just aimed slightly away from Alec's head and fired. From Bond's POV he wouldn't have been able to tell the difference.
                But there are real problems during that scene, like how Alec kills a couple of Oruomov's men (unless they were also acting) and how he survives all those barrels falling on him.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >There were no blanks. Orumov just aimed slightly away from Alec's head and fired. From Bond's POV he wouldn't have been able to tell the difference.
                this is quite plausible

                >how he survives all those barrels falling on him.
                healthy diet and exercise?

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >and how he survives all those barrels falling on him.
                half of everything is luck James

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >But there are real problems during that scene, like how Alec kills a couple of Oruomov's men

                1. He's a double agent. He would need to kill a few to not blow his cover.
                2. It's the Russian Army. They're all easily replacable. It isn't like Ouromov's going to berate him angrily and walk away from whatever his objective is.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Keep in mind Ouromov was working for Trevelyan all along. Trevelyan was actually Janus, and he and Ouromov were working together to steal the Goldeneye. Then Janus could get revenge on England for getting his parents killed. He was one angry Lienz Cossack.

            >How the Cossacks Were Betrayed by Britain in World War II
            https://warfarehistorynetwork.com/article/britains-cossack-betrayal/

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              >this was state of the art graphics in 1997

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                For a video game console that is. Mind you 3D technology advanced so fast in the mid to late 90s that quake was literally a year old by this point

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >zoomies will never know the insane jump of graphics from 1992 to 1996 and then from 1996 to 2003, and then a smaller but still noticeable jump from 2003 to 2007 and then nothing.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                I’ll never forget playing HL2 in 2004 and thinking wow this is the best graphics we’ll ever get.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                doom 3 came out that year and btfo's hl2 graphics

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Opposite day

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                In fairness it's still a remarkable looking game.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Still holds up but no legs and arms while driving ruined it for me

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >and then nothing.
                yeah what up wit dat

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Diminishing returns

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                how does that make sense

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                What are you missing? He means diminishing returns because it takes more processing power to render "improvements" that are less noticeable. There's a huge gap in hardware performance, but that doesn't mean that gap is commensurately perceived. It's true for a lot of tech (I think going from movies in 480p to 2K is much more striking than 2K to 4K even with bigger screens, and a lot of home computing power is excess because many people use their PCs today to do the exact same things they were doing in 1999) but it's especially true for video games. Video games have always been an industry of shallow hucksters pandering to teenagers that want high-resolution keys jangled in front of them in between their ritualistic bouts of fellatio. The industry ran into the wall headfirst with alacrity.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                It's better to just outgrow video games.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                I rarely play them anymore. Just 1 or 2 games a year.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Yeah, it was pretty good.

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              >>How the Cossacks Were Betrayed by Britain in World War II

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                You brit FUCK!!!

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                get 'em

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            Did he, anon? Did he?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        How? He took a bullet to the head?

        He was likely already a double agent at that point and planned on getting captured

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          this seemed obvious to me even as a child

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            >OP confirmed for having a lower mental capacity then a child
            many such cases

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Literally. Once he's revealed as a villain, you're supposed to say in your head "oh, I guess that whole thing in the beginning was planned by the russians to cover him."

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            It's actually wild that people can't comprehend a Bond plot. They aren't exactly complicated
            The only problem is James believing the fake gunshot

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Was getting caught part of his plan?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        he was spared by his co-conspirator, General Ouromov, the dude with the funny face. The whole thing was a setup. The only part they didn't plan for was James setting the explosives to detonate early

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        He lived to die another day.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >so you live to skyfall another tomorrow never dies

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          He should be careful: you only live twice.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Fun Fact. The bond villian in this movie played bond in the BBC radio play adaptation of all the bond novels. They are all kino and free on youtube

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            It's the gay pirate from Black Sails

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            If you want to play the connection game than Sean Bean, Daniel Craig, Toby Stephens, Julian Fellowes, Michael Byrne are in both Sharpe and James Bond.

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              So many great british actors are in Sharpe

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              >Julian Fellowes
              >>It's Jim!
              >>[background mumbling] It is Commander Bond.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            >BBC radio play adaptation
            so they made bond a trans migrant?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        To translate it to American: 006 and Russia Bad Man are friends all along. 006 is a spy and works with Russia Bad Man to steal Russia superweapon. 007 doesn't know. Russia Bad Man shoots 006 with blank and stages his death. Later 007 must stop the bad men from using the bad satellite on London.

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Well done, James. You worked out it was just a chance for the audience to question my allegiances in memory recall. Now I'm going to give you the same 3 (You)s you gave me.

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Indeed. Taking a point blank headshot, surviving, then working for the group that did it and then taking them over.
    Also that he was born too long after WW2 for the Cossack betrayal to make sense.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Repatriation_of_Cossacks_after_World_War_II
    They originally touted Anthony Hopkins for the role, who was old enough.
    >TFW Dalton quit right before this movie as well.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Brosnan was ecellent though. Goldeneye remains a top 3 Bond film

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      It’s a blank, he already told the Russians they would be there and was working with Oromov to set up a plan to steal the goldeneye and it’s said they needed each other because Oroumov has security access.
      Since Alec was ‘dead’ it was easy to be criminal.

      Bond sets the timers for 3 minutes which fucks up the plan because they were going to disarm the bomb after bond left or was captured.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Bond sets the timers for 3 minutes which fucks up the plan because they were going to disarm the bomb after bond left or was captured.

        Alec should of seen this coming. How does he not know his partner well enough to know that he's smart

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          *smart enough to think ahead

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    maybe he didn't even point the gun at him properly, but Bond couldn't tell from his angle

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    it's not a great bond movie

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      it's better than Spectre

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    what is there not to get? Ouromov was already in on the plan, and this let Alec “be dead” for 9 years so he could run Janus without anyone questioning his death

    why the chose “nine years” specifically makes no sense though, that means it took place in 1986 thus retconning all of the Dalton era???

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    For me, it's Surface 1

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Goldeneye ost goes hard

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Natalia
      thank you whoever casted that pole. she gave me a thing for slavic women back in the day

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Goldfinger's plan to irradiate all the gold in fort knox wouldn't work since gold has a really short half life. Also mi6 just let him go trough with his plan right up until the point of asking the bomb for some reason

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Eh, Bond plots are usually pretty wacky.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Goldfinger's plan to irradiate all the gold in fort knox wouldn't work since gold has a really short half life.
      If the fort and surrounding area is heavily irradiated that would still make the gold inaccessible and his plan would still be a success.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Um, haven't you ever heard of hazmat suits?

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Reboot bond with blatantly sexist James like connery. Literally slapping girls asses and telling them the men are talking. And call the female characters "vagina foryou" and stuff

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Reboot bond with blatantly sexist James

      Not a chance with Barbara in control.

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I thought they shot him in the cheek? Am I crazy or did he have a huge fucking scar on his face later in the movie?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      That was because Bond reset the timers on the explosives to go off sooner. Trevelyan was caught in the explosion.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        I used to blow up the tanks and wander around facility until I died from the toxins.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Based. I used to lead Dr. Doak into elaborate death traps involving countless proximity mines.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Bond set the timer of a bomb early in the begining catching alec in the blast

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Pic related

      he was spared by his co-conspirator, General Ouromov, the dude with the funny face. The whole thing was a setup. The only part they didn't plan for was James setting the explosives to detonate early

      >The only part they didn't plan for was James setting the explosives to detonate early
      True dat

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Boo hoo I got some facial scaring yet I'm still a handsome man and my plan to fake my death and capture a secret world domination weapon succeeded. How will I ever live

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Idk

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >How will I ever live
          One day at a time, anon. One day at a time.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Why would he be mad about that? Bond thought he was dead anyways.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      You are genuinely one of the dumbest naggers I've encountered during my 16 years on this website.

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Two quick ones
    He's already getting there on the perfect line

  13. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    God i hate speedwatchers.

  14. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    All Bond films ranked with the exception of Casino Royale (1967)

    1. Thunderball
    2. Goldfinger
    3. Goldeneye
    4. Dr. No
    5. The Man With The Golden Gun
    6. License To Kill
    7. Moonraker
    8. Live And Let Die
    9. The Living Daylights
    10. You Only Live Twice
    11. A View To Kill
    12. From Russia With Love
    13. Tomorrow Never Dies
    14. Diamonds Are Forever
    15. Octopussy
    16. The Spy Who Loved Me
    17. Casino Royale
    18. For Your Eyes Only
    19. The World Is Not Enough
    20. Die Another Day
    21. OHMSS
    22. Never Say Never Again
    23. Skyfall
    24. Spectre
    25. Quantom Of Solace
    26. No Time To Die
    1.Dalton
    2.Brosnan
    3.Connery
    4.Moore
    5.Lazenby
    6.Craig

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Nobody asked

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >1.Dalton
      correct
      thunderball has too much underwater for me

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Tomorrow never dies should be higher up on that list.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      The Living Daylights is number 1 above all others, you philistine.

  15. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why did this movie spend 20 minutes showing us how destructive Goldeneye is yet then later on reveal that it's only being used to bankrupt London? It really ruins the pacing and really has not that much of a point. They should've cut down on the scene. Same thing with Casino Royale, would've been a perfect movie if they cut it down and got rid of the retard stupid ass CGI airport chase that goes on for way too long

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Every bond movie has pacing issues

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      they could easily do that much physical damage with just the helicopter they stole

      the goldeneye is powerful because of the EMP blast that could cause much further and long lasting damage

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Didn't they say the emp blast damage was going to be minimum and that the real lasting damage would be to Britain's economy

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >emp blast damage was going to be minimum
          I don't remember it being 'minimum' physical damage however,
          >the real lasting damage would be to Britain's economy
          Yes - it would destroy a bunch of government and corporate records (as part of the cover up of the operation), crashing the British economy and for that matter the global economy.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >bankrupt London
      To paraphrase Bond Trevelyan is a little boy that wants revenge against the British and is little better than a bank robber. The EMP would tank the British (and with it global) economy but, it also masks the theft.

  16. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    As much as I like Sean Bean and I get why they got him, he is really the wrong actor for the part as it is written. Trevelyan should be older than Bond if they do the Cossack story however, Bean is even younger than Brosnan,

  17. 2 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      fucking kino. take me back.

  18. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    You're right it makes no sense. Bond dives off an incredibly high dam and enters an underground bunker, then exits and finds himself on top of a mountain.

  19. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Goldeneye kino.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      is it even possible to stand that upright in a tank's hatch and still work the controls?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Probably not with the T-55.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Just think about it, when the car goes over the bridge (not shown here) there is a stuntman that gets run over, he has to anticipate it, and not just roll on the car but bounce on it and then fall on the river.

      Was the double agent video game him or was it supposed to just be some other random guy?

      random guy, trying to cash in on the name, EA had more faith and put more money into marketing that than Timesplitters 3.

      I think the DS version was fine, even if you had to put your hands in a very awkward position.

  20. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I don't think GoldenEye is very good. I have a lot of fondness for it because I remember it being one of the first Bond movies I saw, but it's close to being a generic action movie. I'm not even sure it would make my top 10 Bond movies.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      People only like it because it reminds them of the videogame

  21. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Bond movies make little sense in general, what did you expect?

  22. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    I still don't get it, why would Sharpe betray England like this? He took the King's shilling for pity's sake!

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      You can't trust a Cossack.

  23. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    The thing that never made sense to me is the pen grenade joke. Like Bond clicks it a bunch of times and jokes about losing count, and Q just says "grow up" and puts it in his pocket. Was it just a prototype pen, not really a grenade?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Q is part of the continuum so a live grenade isnt a threat to him and he doesnt care if Bond blows himself up due to childish antics.

  24. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    He died for England

  25. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    How does this not make sense?
    Sean Bean's character was ALREADY working with the Russian general. Same Russian general who was working for Bean's character/stole Goldeneye. Their plan was to kill Bond, as numerous other 00's were being killed.
    Bond set the timers early instead of the time they agreed on. This foiled their plan and allowed Bond to escape.
    What they wanted to happen is for Bond to come out and surrender, they kill him, then shut bombs off.
    Yes both the general and Bean's character survive the explosion, but Bean is left with a scar.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      So if their plan was to kill Bond, then why fake being shot? Why wouldn't Alec just walk up and be like "hey bro" and shoot Bond in the head? What would be the point of putting on a little play faking your own death and then immediately try to kill the only person the fake death was supposed to fool?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Funnily enough, it was 006's "For England, James" that more than likely inspired 007 to proceed with the plan. Trevelyan basically told him that it was okay to sacrifice him.

  26. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Was the double agent video game him or was it supposed to just be some other random guy?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      You talking about GoldenEye: Rogue Agent? Different guy.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah I played it on the original DS back in the day

  27. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    the Craig movies were so FUCKING SHIT bros

  28. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why did 006 plan to get himself caught in 1986 (intro) then do nothing but pretend to be a crime lord in moscow for nine years, until a helicopter happened to be invented that would let him steal the goldeneye?
    Was that his plan all along? To wait for the french to build a suitable getaway vehicle?
    What was ouromov doing this whole time? He survived the fall of the soviet union and stayed a senior officer in the russian military, sounds like he was pretty committed.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Did 006 even know about the Goldeneye back then? Maybe their plan was to fake Alec's death and actually let Bond escape so that way Alec could be a rogue agent working with Ouromov. The entire time Alec was doing crimeboss shit as Janus until the discovery of the goldeneye in which he used his old handler from the Soviet days to hatch a plan to steal and use it. I think James was meant to escape the facility to inform M16 that Alec was killed, that way Alec could go on to become Janus without having anyone look for him. Then an opportunity presented itself years later to come out of the shadows.

  29. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >I will fuck you to death!

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Imagine being squeezed to death haha.

  30. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Women don't make convincing bond villains or bond villain henchmen because realistically what would they even want besides bond cock? All he has to do is give them the old bond cock and their motives to do anything else will vanish because those are just ways they distract themselves from the thought of having no bond cock in their cock recepticle.

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