That's a fairly small amount of food for an average-sized person, I'd say? The main reason Spielberg cooks so fast and "lasts" so short is that there isn't much density to his work. I wouldn't WANT to eat a double helping of gravy in that timeframe, but I could easily
lowtax is (was killed himself over pussy lmao) pathetic by default. “Beating” him isn’t gaining anything. He was a proto-eceleb, they can’t get any lower.
It's funny because Boll owns and operates one of the best rated restaurants in Canada, which is regularly places well in lists of the top 50 restaurants in the world.
But obviously the artist didn't know that... or anything else judging from how fricking moronic most of these are.
Tarantino is a dinner table covered in bloody feet set on a tablecloth that says "FRICK"
Michael Bay is plates of 20lbs of breasts and ass taped to blocks of explosives
Villeneuve is a birthday cake served in a prestigious French restaurant, with all your favourite pop-cultural characters drawn on the icing. Everyone assures you that this is the work of a master chef. But when you bite into it, you find there's nothing but slimy escargot inside.
Especially when the orc winked at the camera and nudged his orcy buddy and they laughed, then the beheaded orc got up, grabbed his head and held it towards the camera. The lips started moving and the orc spoke directly to me. It recited my name, age, address and the time and fashion of my death. I screamed and passed out.
>le five dollar milkshake look at me quoting his most famous movie
I fricking hate every piece of shit who quotes Pulp Fiction. It's not witty or topical and it speaks to having the most dunning-kruger surface-level film taste imaginable.
>Raimi
a greasy slice of NY style pizza >Refn
eintopf, with American cheese and beans as a side >Tarkovsky
a slice of rye bread >Lars Von Trier
cream pie, but there's a small rock inside to cause discomfort when you chip your tooth on it
also, there's cum in the cream
>Riefenstahl
Explicit blowjob of Adolf Hitler by Riefenstahl with banners, orchestra and a lot of people running in circles. >Eisenstein
Stalin sits in a bathtub and plays with a small toy boat. Eisenstein sits in a corner like a gopnik and drinks milk.
Pretensions haute cuisine that nobody gets and leaves you confused and unsatisfied, but everybody pretends to like because they don't want to seem stupid and it looks pretty
>you can't liken Miyazaki's movies to meal XY because the animators actually ate a different meal in real life
Dude, are you too autistic to understand the concept of an analogy or is this one of the worst bad faith arguments in existence?
>hayao miyazaki
It would be like george lucas but its actually edible and looks good. This hack has been refurbishing the same ideas in all of his movies without an ounce of creativity.
I hate this so much. So much wrong with this.
Because James Cameron was just known for new technology and mindless popcorn flicks before avatar? Because the Coens didn't make some of the most entertaining comedies ever? Because Jackson only made the LOTR trilogy? Because Spielberg isn't known for Schindlers list or saving private Ryan? All of this tells me the guy didn't watch many movies.
Why didn't Nolan play Sanji in the Wan Piss adaptation? Apparently he would be nearly perfect. Then they could have cast the Sanji actor as Eminem/Enel.
Why wouldn't I make food analogies? If you're trying to bake a cake, do you use the flour that's right there in your pantry, or do you drive all the way to France to get proprietary flour that nobody will understand?
Honestly Cinemaphile feels more like a youtube comments section. People say completely made up "facts" with complete confidence and other people immediately believe it.
Ah yes surely we need to discuss the same comic from 10 years ago with the same bait replies as 10 years ago!
Frick off idiot, post something new or just don't.
Lol
Frozen pizza
Frozen pizza
BS, Nolan is a hack.
accurate
accurate
hating things doesnt make you interesting
reddit comment, also there are plenty of things I love, including prime Spielberg
r/Cinemaphile comment, reeks of smugness and insincerity
>BS, Nolan is a hack.
Nolan is a hack but his movies make midwits feel smart
george never worked for disney
He does consultant work with them though he might do it for free.
lucas doesn't even do that, in fact people got mad at the prequels because they expected an OT rehash
No preople expected them to not be shit and to not shit on the ot. And we all know how it went
a liter of cola is not "well balanced"
Uh I don't see any literacola there
>the whole family
I think you might be onto the joke there, anon
the food is junk
>Too-sweet slop formed into familiar shapes.
>Coca-Cola
>Well balanced
How fat is the author?
>Cola for dinner
Do amerilards really
That's a fairly small amount of food for an average-sized person, I'd say? The main reason Spielberg cooks so fast and "lasts" so short is that there isn't much density to his work. I wouldn't WANT to eat a double helping of gravy in that timeframe, but I could easily
Inb human flesh.
Spielberg is a considerably better director than Nolan.
This one should be more like unhealthy junk food.
Rampage and Postal are kino.
that whole "i'll punch people who criticize my movie" phase was so completely pathetic.
Yeah, I mean punching people will not make your movies not shit anymore.
Lowtax was the one who looked the most pathetic after that display. Boll threw out an internet tough guy challenge and the desperate suckers took it.
lowtax is (was killed himself over pussy lmao) pathetic by default. “Beating” him isn’t gaining anything. He was a proto-eceleb, they can’t get any lower.
They wanted to fight him too
Nah it's was based af, free speech of the presss doesn't mean free from consequence
This is more like Gaspar Noel
Gaspar Noé would be a cut-off dick lathered in psilocybin mushrooms and rose petals
It's funny because Boll owns and operates one of the best rated restaurants in Canada, which is regularly places well in lists of the top 50 restaurants in the world.
But obviously the artist didn't know that... or anything else judging from how fricking moronic most of these are.
>permanently closed
Obviously, you didn't know that.. or anything else judging from how fricking moronic you are
Uwe Boll is the victim of a slander campaign.
His movies are objectively shit, Postal aside
This should have been Zack Snyder. Maybe make it grey and put some cross on the toilet
Tarantino is a dinner table covered in bloody feet set on a tablecloth that says "FRICK"
Michael Bay is plates of 20lbs of breasts and ass taped to blocks of explosives
Luis bunuel would be a table with lots of delicious food on it but when you bite down its just paper mache.
>Tarantino
What's the dinner version of edgy and supposedly controversial but actually 100% corporate approved
Foie gras. People like to whine how unethical it is, yet it still has a massive market
>food analogy
do redditbrains really?
its a mexican thing, you wouldnt understand
>food analogies still making Cinemaphileners seethe
You're like an uncooked cake that was meant to be an abortion joke
a well balanced meal
>tfw no one recognizes Bay for his dreamy hallucinatory lighting style and Eisensteinian editing
People are plebs.
I fricking wish Bay movies were as good as this would taste
a Wachowski dinner is being handed an empty plate and a scalpel
the plate is so you have somewhere to put your penis after you cut it off
Villeneuve is a birthday cake served in a prestigious French restaurant, with all your favourite pop-cultural characters drawn on the icing. Everyone assures you that this is the work of a master chef. But when you bite into it, you find there's nothing but slimy escargot inside.
Kek
>M Night Shyamalan
>the bottle of Beaujolais Nouveau is actually a Pinot
homie you ain't even editing the joke
Fricking hell. His latest movie is … [spoiker]SHIT[/spoiker] btw.
WHAT A TWEEEST.
The serial killer concert one? What a shame, it seemed fun
Nah, the one out right now - “The Watchers.”
His daughter made that
loool
whoa... explaining the pictures... kinda makes the comic worthless
They're all bad, but these two are the worst because they don't keep to the metaphor.
Post the Zack Snyder one.
what is the food equivalent of slow motion and extended cut?
What?
he might be saying that even though it doesnt appear so on the surface, these two guys are actually corrupting our youth with their so called "art"
>Wachowski sisters
Double estrogen coctail with amphetamine and bdsm as desert
Lmao
fits for a serious man at least
>Guy Ritchie is just cocaine
accurate
I feel so smart!
>the greatest meal of all time otherwise I wasted my life eating it
He never said that
He said this
He said this, but not in English.
He cooked this, served this, and said this
Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys, amirite? xD
For real I turned the movie off after that line and never bothered to finish the trilogy.
Especially when the orc winked at the camera and nudged his orcy buddy and they laughed, then the beheaded orc got up, grabbed his head and held it towards the camera. The lips started moving and the orc spoke directly to me. It recited my name, age, address and the time and fashion of my death. I screamed and passed out.
Wholesome
haha, yes
I remember Meet the Feebles well
>he make long movie so he make big meal that take long time to eat
brilliant analysis
Not only did he say this and cook this but he also wrote an 800 page book about it.
This only describes LOTR and King Kong's runtime and nothing else about them.
What about Heavenly Creatures, The Frighteners or Dead Alive?
Ah because he made TLOTR right?
>roast boar
>not Salted Pork
there's no way the person who draws these doesn't look like a soijak
and
There's no way you aren't one yourself speaking from experience
>no Snyder
>no Tarantino
>no Kubrick
>no Vince Gilligan
Bruh
>>no Tarantino
here you go
Tarantino didn't even write Pulp Fiction
what? yes he did. he co-wrote it with Roger Avary, he even won an oscar for it you moron
terrible
“His movies are violent and one has some dialogue about an expensive milkshake”
Wow great analysis there
del torro too
>le five dollar milkshake look at me quoting his most famous movie
I fricking hate every piece of shit who quotes Pulp Fiction. It's not witty or topical and it speaks to having the most dunning-kruger surface-level film taste imaginable.
wow you're so cool
look man, just because you are a character doesn't mean you have a character
Being a Tarantino fan is as Dunning-Kruger as cinema gets.
Post lunch
Ok now the Cinemaphile meme directors
>Raimi
>Refn
>PTA
>Villeneuve
>Aronofsky
>Lars Von Trier
>Tarkovsky
>Malick
>D.W. Griffith
>Raimi
a greasy slice of NY style pizza
>Refn
eintopf, with American cheese and beans as a side
>Tarkovsky
a slice of rye bread
>Lars Von Trier
cream pie, but there's a small rock inside to cause discomfort when you chip your tooth on it
also, there's cum in the cream
>be american
>eat food
>feel smart
>be non-american
>can't afford food
>get beheaded
>AI is destroying the livelihood of "artists" like this
How would Riefenstahl and Eisenstein's be like?
>Riefenstahl
Explicit blowjob of Adolf Hitler by Riefenstahl with banners, orchestra and a lot of people running in circles.
>Eisenstein
Stalin sits in a bathtub and plays with a small toy boat. Eisenstein sits in a corner like a gopnik and drinks milk.
>Miyazaki
Pretensions haute cuisine that nobody gets and leaves you confused and unsatisfied, but everybody pretends to like because they don't want to seem stupid and it looks pretty
Childrens films confuse you?
>intellectually intimidated by straightforward children's movies and fairy tales
Quintessential American post. Sad!
>that nobody gets
Innocence and the natural world = good
It's not that hard
Miyazaki is overrated but saying that his films leave you "confused" tells more about your low IQ than anything else.
Extreme recency bias for Cameron
Obnoxious dismissal of Burton, his 80s and 90s run was superb.
>that Miyazaki meal
lmao
meanwhile he was serving instant ramen for his animators
That's an oversimplification, he added veggies and eggs and meat to it.
you have aspergers
>you can't liken Miyazaki's movies to meal XY because the animators actually ate a different meal in real life
Dude, are you too autistic to understand the concept of an analogy or is this one of the worst bad faith arguments in existence?
The extreme lack of objectivity here is glaring.
>hayao miyazaki
It would be like george lucas but its actually edible and looks good. This hack has been refurbishing the same ideas in all of his movies without an ounce of creativity.
>Aronofsky
>molecular gastronomy stuff that dont even look like food and youre not quite sure what it tastes like, but it looks beautiful as frick
I hate this so much. So much wrong with this.
Because James Cameron was just known for new technology and mindless popcorn flicks before avatar? Because the Coens didn't make some of the most entertaining comedies ever? Because Jackson only made the LOTR trilogy? Because Spielberg isn't known for Schindlers list or saving private Ryan? All of this tells me the guy didn't watch many movies.
You can tell the artist has a 100 IQ or less from this image
The midwit meme is boring and flatters them too much, let's got back to calling homosexuals morons.
YOU STUPID Black person
MIDWITS ARE NOT 100 IQ YOU DUMBASS
MIDWITS ARE LIKE 115 IQ, SMARTER THAN AVERAGE BUT NOT REALLY "SMART:
>midwit
>mid
>wit
>smarter than average
IMAGINE BEING AT MOVIES
SO FAT YOU LOOK AND SEE FOOD
Why didn't Nolan play Sanji in the Wan Piss adaptation? Apparently he would be nearly perfect. Then they could have cast the Sanji actor as Eminem/Enel.
Nolan is loved exclusively by midwits and pajeets
That's a midwit oversimplification, usually made by resentful types who mistakenly assume they could what Nolan has achieved
>they could what Nolan has achieved
Sir please redeem asap
I'm fricking Pakistani, don't ever compare me to Indian dogs.
>I'm Indian but muslim
Weird flex but ok
Howabout federico fellini
>wim wenders
>compare movies to food
i wish i would beat the shit of this fricking caricaturist
holy crap is this the cringest shit i saw this week
fricking moron
>nooo you dont gettid I have to make food analogies or my moronic audience wont get my analasys
whats wrong with food analogies?
>t. person who makes food analogies
Why wouldn't I make food analogies? If you're trying to bake a cake, do you use the flour that's right there in your pantry, or do you drive all the way to France to get proprietary flour that nobody will understand?
>hehe film is like cake you see I make a cake but other person make not a cake and this is the same, see?
the thing wrong with food analogies is that the quality of food depends on who makes them
this board is a sub reddit. such painfully unfunny redditors
This board is a 9gag comment section. Such painfully unfunny 9gaggers.
Honestly Cinemaphile feels more like a youtube comments section. People say completely made up "facts" with complete confidence and other people immediately believe it.
I believe this
list the ones you want
Wachowski sisters
Food analogies are lowest form of media analysis
What about sex analogies?
The highest cause at the end every thing is about sex, except sex, sex is about power
Holy mother of reddit.
>Scorsese
Cacio y Pepe is fricking based no slander you frickface
behead ALL mass repliers
What stops Hiro from setting a max of, say, 10 replies per post?
what stops you from filtering posts with more than 10 replies?
he serves up the equivalent of cookies and tang with some fancy cinematographic tricks to make gullible morons think otherwise
pretentious michael bay
>Tarkovsky
Michael Mann would just be one long shot of a delivery guy delivering food in an urban setting set to music.
Ah yes surely we need to discuss the same comic from 10 years ago with the same bait replies as 10 years ago!
Frick off idiot, post something new or just don't.
>WATCHOWSKIS
trans fats