Has JLaw saved sex comedies? We need more.
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Has JLaw saved sex comedies? We need more.
Has JLaw saved sex comedies? We need more.
Thalidomide Vintage Ad Shirt $22.14 |
CRIME Shirt $21.68 |
Thalidomide Vintage Ad Shirt $22.14 |
JLaw's b___h___
Why did you omit words? Are you coming down with an illness? Are you running a fever?
JLaw's b_h_ is the new Candlej
my guy none of these zoomer newbies are gonna know what you're talking about when you bring up candlej
wtf is a candlej
Oh shit, it's Candlej
broken heart?
bold heroism
bitching
>black heebs
>big hands
Bee hive
I don't watch movies anymore.
Anus and vegana haha
I certainly hope so. The movie is making a killing on streaming and JLaws nude scene was kino. Plus she was really funny.
yeah honestly this movie was dumb but i have to admit i enjoyed it. it was raunchy and i know that's probably cringe to say now but it reminded me of older comedies from before everything was about remaking a movie and putting a woman in it and making her lame and gay.
>making a killing on streaming
what do you mean? you dont pay tickets to watch movies on streaming services
>Had to add an artificial jiggle because her ass don't jiggle
Lol, lmao even
That aint aritificial jiggle
I hate this Niger shit so much.
Of all the garbage blacks have dumped into culture the one thing I won't shit on them for is encouraging women to shake their asses
This b***h reminds me so much of Amy Schumer, it's actually sad.
The hand slap kills me every time
>no ass
>no breasts
>solid face
would still ravage with my dong
do you think he got a b_ner?
I know I do, jlaw's fricking hot
Fricking moron
How come when she first sits in his lap, his legs are outside hers, but then when it cuts back to them his knees are between her legs?
I swear those are little Indian legs sticking out from under her. They must have put a dalit under her and comp'd it in post.
>being too beta during a lapdance so she makes you ride her lap instead
god i wish that was me
this reminds me of the pasta of arnold and jamie lee curtis
disgusting.
No one wants to see a white woman with a hideous israelite. and they are all hideous.
Man, she hit the wall. She's morphing into Barbara Streisand in real time.
She always looked like that
>She always looked like that
uncanny
>Has JLaw saved sex comedies?
No. This film was terrible.
>We need more.
Yes, but with competent writing.
>Born August 15, 1990 (age 33)
There's nothing sexy about exploiting the aged and infirmed.
Maybe if she had a thicker bush.
I saw this movie in theaters with my BPD exgf. We enjoyed it.
I fricking miss her so bad bros, but she cheated on me again and I couldn't take it anymore. She told me she wanted me to marry her and give her babies and still frickin cheated on me
BPD?
broadshoulders person disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder. Never heard of it until I met her.
I know anon, I was a fricking idiot, but I was genuinely in love with her. We flew back to my country to visit my family, she would tell me daily that she loved me, to marry her and give her a family. Now she's dating the guy she cheated on me with (who happened to be her ex).
if you point me to a thread I'll consider it
My benis is red-E
Thread's at image limit :/
Not being mean here, but are you Mexican or Puerto Rican?
Now it's his problem anon. As angry as I get over the way my ex broke up with me, I take solace in the fact that she's treating someone else badly now.
Sometimes it helps to remember how bad it was. Like when you are healthy, think about the sickest you've ever been. Then you appreciate not being sick at the current moment.
You got off easy bro. I fricked a BPD girl a couple times, could tell she was falling for me but I wasn’t into her. She would call/text my phone from spoofed numbers every few days for the next 6 months either apologising or demanding I apologise depending on her mood swing.
Almost had to get a restraining order when she started calling my work while blackout drunk outside my place.
NTA but that's scary. I got lucky with my BPD frick buddy, had some of the best sex of my life and she mostly left me alone. Sometimes she'd blow up my phone to say how much she hated me and my buddies and I laughed about it.
Baltimore Police Departement
homie was dating McNulty in a wig
JUST 2 MORE WEEKS ON THE WIYAH AND WE WOULDA HAD HIM
big person dystrophy
Bane Plane Disorder
Beed's Peed & Deed
Big Pussy Disorder
Brad Pitt disease
you made the right decision bro,
women.
not even once.
>cheated on me again
>again
The second time is always on you
you only have yourself to blame.
Did she send you noodz? Post em to /b/ and we can all cum together right now
Dude the second you hear BPD you dive through a window
My sister has it and on multiple occasions she tried to stab my father, has stolen hundreds from me. It's just not worth it
Problem is, she was genuinely the prettiest girl I'd ever seen let alone been with, so when she'd tell me shit like that I'd fall for it every time.
>delete the chats
I can't they're the proof I have of her cheating that I'm keeping just in case she tries to pull some shit. Haven't heard from her in 3 months tho, and she avoids me at all costs now. Probably the guilt.
You don't really give a frick, you're just in that temporary period where you don't have a replacement for her.
Yeah I guess. I managed to frick a couple girls since then but it just aint the same. She was so pretty anon.
I get what you mean. I was looking back at pictures of me when I was with her and holy shit, I looked like a israelite in auschwitz or some shit. Swollen red eyes, disheveled hair, skinny arms and bloated face, inflamed skin. I dont have any of that since leaving her. I guess stress is a hell of a drug
I know you don't want to hear this, but I need pictures of her breasts and butthole STAT
Like I told the other anon, find me a thread on /b/ or some shit and I'll oblige
^ Gotcha, bud
I'm not the anon that has been pestering you itt but I'll say it (if that was really you posting on the /b/ thread): she's incredibly mid, what the frick is wrong with you, forgiving her for cheating once was already bad but she's not even hot.
I have low self esteem.
You have to realize that you're just like this right now because this witch messed with your head. I know how it is, a girl also played with me and it took me a while to snap out of it. Just know this, you will get over her. And look at it this way, you uploading those pics is a bit sketchy, but it can be interpreted as you throwing her to the streets where she belongs, so good job there (just don't get in trouble).
SHE BELONGS TO THE STREETS NOW, homie!!
are you indian
just smile bro
Post the pic
Why not just slap the b***h around a bit? She clearly craves it. Just stop respecting her as a human and dominate her.
I'm dating a girl with borderline. Meet her about 5 months ago, and in 30 september we started to really date.
I hope that she dosn't go full crazy, never happened, at least (only 1 time, when we drank in her birthday, she was ok with me, but kind agressive with her relatives).
Also, best sex ever.
Borderline girls are fun to date because the sex is amazing, but don't fall for her completely. She'll never be stable enough for a serious relationship, even if she's on meds she can always go off them and decide she suddenly hates you enough to ruin your life. Have your fun for now, but she won't be your wife.
You’re in the honeymoon period. No BPD girl is capable of “not going full crazy”. You’ll feel like you’re in a dream, feel madly in love and loved by her. She will seem like the perfect woman, going out of her way to be endlessly appreciated by her. She’ll be on birth control and want sex with your nightly. Her pussy will be the wettest, tightest one you’ll ever bareback and be allowed to shoot your load inside, probably in your life. And she knows all of this. Thats how she gets her claws into you. And that’s exactly when she begins to ruin your life
>You’ll feel like you’re in a dream, feel madly in love and loved by her.
This anon gets it. It's fricked up, normally sane men start to act irrationally because they feel like they're a character in a movie starring some girl and themselves. My own (3 year on-and-off) BPD girl relationship was honestly insane for the first year, like am-I-obsessed-with-this-girl type shit.
That, and the fact that they'll do ANYTHING sexually at the drop of a hat lol
it'll get worse as she ages, don't invest too much of your youth into some lunatic.
She’ll drain your balls as much as she’ll drain your soul.
worth it
KILL HER.
i broke up with mine before i could watch it, never again
watched it with my thick mom instead and sucked on her breasts
Its over
Rip off the bandaid
Delete the chats
You can get through this bro because you deserve better.
Yeah no shit bpd women target vulnerable guys to manipulate and toy with, it's part of their fun, that includes making you feel special and being a dream girl, but also to torture you if you break the impossible image they have of a partner in their mind. They're evil dude.
That is called having self respect anon. No b***h and no pussy is worth your self respect. If you had kids with her they would know and the whole thing would be fricked. It may hurt now but holy frick if you kept going you might actually rope yourself
Did she mow the lawn?
You made the right decision. BPD mothers are atrocious and ruin their children for life
>dating a woman with BPD
Easy way to end up dead or in jail
porncels killed the sex comedy
I am 29 years old and I never even kissed a girl
get a job at a mortuary
kissing is only good like the first time you hook up with someone and you get anxious around them
kissing in a committed long term relationship is nothingness
68 year old, same
I kissed one for the first time at 31. It wasn't good but hey, don't give up!
hehe imagine if she was sitting on a nig dick and one came in and put a nig dick in her ass, then they pounded
In times like this, I'm reminded of the theory of JLaw butthole magic. Does anyone remember the theory?
Also, imagine how many people are involved in the Hollywood industry of editing back shots and applying makeup to make sure that bottomless scenes don't produce the kind of forbidden image that stripped JLaw of her mojo?
>Does anyone remember the theory?
please remind me
I think he's talking about jlaw losing her allure after we saw her butthole in the fappening pics. Once you see a girl's butthole she loses her spell over you, there's nothing she can do to surprise you anymore.
I saw Natalie's Porthole years ago and she's still my waifu
You saw a shadow that might or might not be part of her butthole. You didn't see it in all its glory like we did with jlaw.
She was within a public hairs width of losing her mojo, just like JLaw. You just KNOW that scene wasn't meant to hit the big screen. Ether not enough ass makeup was applied, or the digital censor guy fricked up.
Pic unrelated, but you get 69 Cinemaphile points if you can guess who it is.
Kendall or Kylie Jenner? I honestly forget which is which
The chick from heroes! Yay i won something!
>oh look a butt
Is this supposed to turn people on? Do people not go to pools and beaches? Do they not have the internet? While sex scenes are dumb nine times out of ten I don’t really understand the allure of “she got naked… and showed her BOOTY CHEEKS” let alone in the body double, CGI era. Rap videos on TRL used to be sexier than this.
>rap videos
Disgusting jello people vibrating on a fish-eye lens is not attractive, anon.
>I don’t really understand the allure of “she got naked… and showed her BOOTY CHEEKS
You're not supposed to. They're all for me. The ass is the most erotic part of a woman.
We know your gay, Zoomer. It's ok.
It's based on the fact that the ONE thing you're not allowed to show on film is the actual butthole, as the general anal areola area itself. This is because pretty much all Hollywood female stardom is based on the moviegoer's level of sexual attraction. You can show vegana and breasts and naked women and even butt cheeks on film without losing this aura of attraction. BUT...seeing a woman's butthole tricks your brain into thinking that you've "conquered that hill" so you're not really looking as her in the same way you were before you "had her."
When JLaw had her butthole pics leaked, she lost her mojo because the whole word suddenly felt as if the magic was gone. If you ever had a magical sexual crush/attraction on someone and then suddenly didn't care about them after you finally hit it...then you know what I mean.
That's why butthole and anal areola are the only things you're not allowed to show...it instantly negates the sexual viability and money making potential of the starlet involved.
Remember that scene with stripper Natalie Portman where you almost see her butthole? Someone got fired for that, because you just KNOW there's an entire department of digital artists and makeup appliers working to keep that from happening. She almost lost her career.
Imagine how many scenes and reshots are required because a bottomless scenes resulted in an butthole shot? Imagine being that guy.
Aubry Plaza even mentions the unmentionable butthole makeup when shs talking about mooning the casting producers for some movie she was trying for.
>z-z-zoomer
I’m 32 you massive homosexual. Go jerk off to black’d porn like a good coomer you israelite.
I’m a man of exquisite tastes what can I say
The homosexual isn't the one who's uncomfortable with a woman's body or denying his manhood, Zoomer b***h.
Sorry, incorrect. She's from a earlier Hollywood era, and at least 15 years older than either of them. Good guess though!
Funny thing is I’m both of those anons and you’re the seething homosexual coomer angry I don’t find stoic shots of butts hotter than full frontal.
Go nut, catch a breathe and recognize you’re a degenerate.
Telling a man to "Go nut" as a comeback is so fricking funny, lol.
Right, you're a 32 year old definitely-not coomer on Cinemaphile who hates women's bodies but you still know what Kylie/Kendall Jenners butt might look like. You're either being obtuse on purpose or a Zoomer. You pick.
Anon, you’re so stuck on playing gotcha you’ve a abandoned logic. A stoic shot of a butt isn’t hot. Simple as. You argue like an autistic person.
>you’re
Stopped reading
context matter a lot, anon, it's just how it is
I would eat out both their buttholes.
>has internet simp for her
>says she will never do nude scenes
> the fappening occurs, showing pics of her with cum on her face and butthole
>internet busts a collective nut, followed by post-nut clarity
>she becomes irrelevant
>she begins doing nude scenes in a sad attempt to win back the simps
>simps moved on
You love to see it
Now now, that one in the classroom was actually kinda hot. Otherwise I agree.
Also she needs a thicker bush.
>Also she needs a thicker bush.
JLaw butthole magic theory in action. Bravo.
I had no interest in this movie but I do think of it when I see those "why are there no movies like American Pie or Eurotrip anymore" posts
Gah, frick
She's making a live-action Cabbage Patch Kid movie now?
boggd
99.9% of /tv posters have fricked women much less attractive than this, let's stop bullshitting
It's strange how zoomer culture has made it uncool to find women attractive. Back in my day, you'd get called gay if you said you didn't want to frick women like jlaw
Now being called gay is considered a good thing. We're living in strange times.
Is that why people are so quick to insist that they are repulsed by women? Because they want to score points by flaunting their gayness?
are these actual unironic shill/agent threads? she was incredibly undexy in this movie. her face looks and always has looked like a weird chinese baby
>are these actual unironic shill/agent threads?
Yes
she makes sex boring
>Exposed for being Harveys prostitute and busts it open to israelites for fame
Lol
She's a Kentucky moron who got lucky with fame and fortune. If she was smart, she'd branch out and do other shit like Jessica Alba to counter her fading looks and box office appeal, but she's too stupid to even do that.
I’ve seen better at the Jefferson Mall
That’s not a stoic shot. Anon, be honest, are touched by the tism? I’m asking seriously now.
You must be touched with mental voices if you think I typed "this is an example of a stoic shot" anywhere above.
Your a basement dwelling nerd who's uncomfortable with IRL women, I'm guessing you're probably into furries or old men in diapers instead. To each his own anon!
Anon you compared this
to this
after I said
Which sent you in a volcanic eruptions about zoomers or something.
Thank you for admitting you’re moronic.
>visible pussy
Disgusting. Who wants to see this?
Absolutely not. Not even J-Laws full frontal made that movie good.
imagine a hot, eggy fart pluming out of her ringhole
>old women!
I love JLaw so much
Movie had a handful of good gags but the script largely sucked and tried too hard to be sweet
Nice
The Maneater scene was unironically great. The actor has a great voice, and jlaw's reaction was perfect.
?t=76
Probbaly the only great scene in the whole movie. But I agree, that was good. Shame the film ultimately went nowhere when it had scenes like this
The guy in that movie was pathetic and that scene was cringe
>60 y/0
>the only think she can talk about is STILL "muh pussy"
a life wasted
>tfw sick with butthole fever
lookin good wattman
I want to smell and taste a girl's butthole
Salty milk and coins and must
I saw the nude scene and I nearly puked from how saggy her breasts were. Even as a horny teenager I never thought she was attractive really (didn't care about her fappening pics but jacked it to Vjuice's tiddies until my dick blistered), but this is some post post post post-wall shit. The only worse wall hitting I've seen is the decoy from Chris Hansen's To Catch A Predator.
Duality of man
Looks like a homeless vegan.
That's probably not that far from the truth honestly
She seems to be a yoga nut.
https://www.caseymauro.com/
So it's worse than I'd imagined.
first guess was vegan, we were right
vegans ruin their skin because our skin is accustom to animal fat and byproducts to stay healthy
I still remember the first time I saw her butthole it did something primal to me. I was getting boners and blowing loads like I had just started puberty again.
She have an entire generation the fever.
Same. I had never thought women’s backsides were attractive. Her butthole and the shape of her ass unlocked the caveman in me. and now I can’t get off without a girl being on all fours presenting. Doggystyle is the only way I can cum during sex
This. Ive fapped to JLaw's nudes over 1000 times.
She killed trillions of sperm with her holes
It wasn't that great
BUTTHOLE FEVER
Anyone But You w/Sydney Sweeney is sad to feature even raunchier scenes
If Sweeney shows nipple I'll go see that movie
She shows more than that
Welp I'm sold
All those leaked pics, but the butthole ones weren't her.
What a waste
How do you know the butthole pics weren't her?
They were confirmed to be her by her. Her agents and astroturfing campaign failed about 4 years ago and she just accepted that no one believed their lies anymore. Besides, that’s why she’s doing trashy films like the one in OP now.
Most of the leaks were her, the butthole pics and facial pic weren't her.
Jennifer, relax. We like you more because of your butthole, not less
You lie and I would add that JLaw will never frick you
how gay is this thread that nobody still posted her butthole after 120+ posts
It was pretty funny.
I saw it at the cinema and people had a good time
This movie was dreadful and as I've already seen her anus when she was 10 years younger the badly lit nude scene did nothing for me.
Its hilarious she made a movie about fricking some hideous israelite for money and favors, because thats exactly what she did in her real life
does anyone have the webm of her nude scene
Honestly this movie wasn't bad. It definitely felt like a throwback to comedies of the past. Hope to see a few more like this.
BUTTHOLE
U
T
T
H
O
L
I
O
JLaw has to be one of the most fapped to celebrities of all time. Her nudes were something else. Who else would be on that list (probably more from the past decade due to internet). I would guess Scarjo, Margot Robbie and Daddario would be up there. Maybe Game of Thrones girls. Sydney Sweeney has probably been making the rounds the last couple of years.
jamie lee curtis
Abigail Spencer erased ny future bloodline singlehandedly(literally)
Who?
And yeah, Jlaw is the queen. I even know women who have jerk offd to her.
I would put Jessica Alba, Halle Berry and Jennifer Connelly up there too
Id put Kate Mara based purely on the numbers ive put up for her
Trillions lost lives over Sophie turner it’s unreal
Paris Hilton and Kim K. pretty much started the celebrity "leak" meme so I assume they have probably been the most fapped to celebs in history. Jlaw is just the posterchild for the fappening.
Id guess Emma Watson too
I GOT A FEVER
I fapped to her enough with all possible angles. Now nothing but real will satisfy me.
It was decent but we don't need a lot more of these. Good for nostalgia but thats about it
I really want to sniff her butthole through those PJ's.
>inb4
Yes, I am a soulless comer with no personality.
>post-2007 media
still not watching unlike the consoomercucks itt. Already saw her jlaw butthole and that is all we needed of her
I lost all will to see her movies after I saw her butthole. Her Weinstein connection also has tarnished her rep.
Never seen her butthole how destructive is it?
It's immaculate
i think she did. this is the first movie of the kind i liked since the 2012 things
Wait, people here still think that was her butthole? Do they still believe in Santa too?
>her pr team still coping
next you're gonna tell me that wasn't her with cum on her face
Holywood seems so keen on live action manga adaptions we need one of those for i'm dating a dark summoner to save sex comedy
https://mangadex.org/title/cf58401e-91ae-452f-b79a-5c83f34f6804/dark-summoner-to-dekiteiru
maybe that can't really happen in current year with the ages though, it would be one thing if they were both under 18 but the woman is 16 and the man 18 which would be a pretty big no no in holywood movies. and a no no in holywood parties for being too old
Chubby JLaw was the best.
She's an ozempic Amy Schumer
saw. her. BUTT HOLE.
>for free
Where’d you see it for free? Some guy charged me like $5 every time I wanted to see her pics
Absolute newbie.
I like how she was so unappealing that the guy didn't want to frick her lmao
Stupid sexy jlaw
[spoilerbutthole[/spoiler]
>Be waspy bore starlet that had pics leak of being basted in seamen then star in a film that they eat a baby in gory detail ruining your career and you disappear and re-emerge years later as zoomer teen sex bait as a 30 something in a 20k style sex comedy that were old by the time you entered into hiding
Looks like my fourteen year old sister's ass a bit. My sister has a puffy labia though.