>Hey Ron! I'm new to the wizarding world, is a literal mountain of gold coins a lot of money? It's not like I'll ever use it though, people just give me expensive shit for free. But it'd be wrong for you to take money from me to replace your dangerous wand or buy a decent suit for the biggest party of our school lives. Expellipovertimus!
>DUDE just give all your money away to people who dont know how to save or invest LMAO
>just let your best friend run around with a broken want, endangering himself and others in the process
Harry got as gifts two new top of the line brooms, sword of gryffindor, cloak of invisibility, Sirius' family house... I guess it's ok for him to get charity cause his parents were killed.
>two new top of the line brooms
gifts given to him by his godfather and the head of house who wanted him to win
>cloak of invisibility
his father's property that dumbledoor was taking care of
>sword of gryffindor,
given to him by the hat based on his qualities or some shit
its not his fault that ron had no personality or talent except for being moderately ok at chess
It actually is fricked up that Harry was gifted a top racing broom by a professor though. In the next book it's supposedly poor sport from the Slytherins because Draco's dad bought their brooms, though why it would be bad for a parent to buy brooms for students as opposed to a teacher's blatant favoritism I don't know
>hough why it would be bad for a parent to buy brooms for students as opposed to a teacher's blatant favoritism I don't know
ig jkr just didn't like any slytherin character except for snape
But Snape is a cuck.
"she didn't like any slytherin character"??? she wrote all of them to be comically le evil villain types, of course she didn't like them.
it's surprising Slytherin didn't seethe about this and get Draco's dad all up in McGonogall's shit
maybe that's what prompted him to buy Slytherin all brooms
>Harry, being a seeker is IN YOUR BLOOD
>your dad was a good seeker, that means you are going to be a good seeker, genes matter
>there is however no merit to the claim that having non-wizard parents affects one's magical ability, that's completely made up
bravo, Rowling!
genetics absolutely play a role in physical morphology and reflexes
muggles could play quidditch chud
You need magic to fly a broomstick shit for brains.
rubbish
muggles can use brooms, portkeys, time-turners, everlasting dildos, and any other passively charmed object
Yeah but what if his mom was absolute dogshit and their genes cancelled one another out? Lily was never even mentioned to have played. At best she was getting a train ran on her in the locker room.
midiclorians, dumbass
harry was nervois and hermione was trying to encourage him, tell him he belonged
she wasn't advocating for inheritability of seeker adaptability
why didn't draco bring this up in the next movie? rowling is a hack
>a sport where you can crush the opposing team throughout the match by scoring 14 goals
>but still lose because the opposing catcher has a faster broom bought by a teacher and catches the snitch
This double standard crops up again during the Quidditch World Cup. Mr Weasley says he got tickets to the game because he helped a friend brush some minor scandal under the rug. He then gets all self-righteous when he tells Harry that Mr Malfoy was given tickets by the Minister for Magic for some "charity work" iirc. Absolute double standard.
>He then gets all self-righteous when he tells Harry that Mr Malfoy was given tickets by the Minister for Magic for some "charity work" iirc.
Weasleys except for the elder boys were kind of b***hy tbh
difference is Arthur was just being a bro and a good colleague but Malfoy was probably shelling out gold for political influence
But how did he put his name in the goblet?
>if you want more of something, subsidize it
-some Boomer
Potter knew that it was futile to try and lift Ron out of poverty by throwing free money at him. He could invest in Fred and George's business for a stake, but creating one way dependency would achieve nothing.
>being moderately ok at chess
Sucks for wizards that any homosexual with an iPhone could get a guaranteed win over the magic chessboard using a chess app that plays better than any human. Muggle technology would seriously surpass all of the obstacles except the last one.
>MP3 file placates the dog
>UV lamp BTFOs the plant
>magnet on a stick beats the keys
>aforementioned free chess AI beats the chessboard
Only the mirror is left and that one was bullshit for wizards too.
It's the same with the Triwizard tournament. A muggle could easily win it.
>laser pointer/dart gun/goat carcass full of sedatives for the dragon
>for the lake, scuba gear and a speargun for uppity mermaids
>overhead drone for the maze
on a stick beats the keys
all of the keys were metallic and you forgot about the potions one but ig anyone with an iq over 100 or with access to ChatGPT could solve it
Ok but you could shoot it down with a bb gun or something
I have my doubts that magnets are not used at all by wizards. They have been used for over 2000 years at least and manmade magnets had been around for 400. It's modern inventions that they didn't use. I imagine magnets might be used for alchemical purposes or some shit. Kinda like glass. I doubt they source all their more modern beakers and flasks solely from muggles, for example.
Also I forgot to mention that if the key was actually made of silver, no magnet would work on it. Just use a net on a really long stick like the ones for pools.
>. Just use a net on a really long stick like the ones for pools.
you would have to be very strong and fast to catch it, they keys are intuitive like snitches
I'll simply tell my theater falcon to catch it. He is very intelligent. I'd also tell him to rip Hermoine's skirt to shreds. He'd do all that and bring me a bucket of crab legs in 10 or 15 minutes top.
I love how lame that image is. Fricking pedro with his pool net taking a few minutes to catch the magic key
A ten year old with glasses caught it easily enough, I'd put my money on any shiftless hispanic worth his salt
the broken wand was such a shitty plot point. like hogwarts staff wouldn't notice that his most IMPORTANT tool at hogwarts is broken and malfunctioning? even if Ron's poor ass couldn't afford a new one, I feel like the school or Dumbledore would be obligated to step in and provide him one. frick, now that I think about it, ollivander could just ship ron a brand new wand. donating product to a school for an impoverished child in need? that's like a tax write off on top of a tax write off on top of a deduction. ollivander is actually kind of a moron for not fronting the cost of ALL the kids' wands each school year, then cleaning up during tax season.
What was the ministry’s tax policy?
Ollivander had a mountain of wands, he couldn't spare any.
The incompetent fricks who work at that school didn't notice wizard Hitler invading the school like once a year, you really think they'd notice what the students are up to?
fair dinkum
> Unironically defending Rowling's shit writing.
Uh huh.
>getting filtered by a kids book
Just stick to Japanese pedophile cartoons anon.
She's not even the best British young adult author anon. I guess you wouldn't know about that seeing as you've got your mouth firmly around Hollywood's satanic israelitewiener tho.
You’re trying too hard to fit in, you’re anonymous no one cares.
I'm a British anonymous, and therefore better than everyone else here.
Audience*.
Brits are subhuman
He says in a thread that wouldn't exist without us.
Granted Harry potter is basically tourist mode England.
Asians are subhumans too but I still enjoy stir fry
And without them we wouldn't have Jackie Chan. You gotta take the good with the bad anon.
based
Choking on a million dicks etc.
Harry Potter is just DragonBall for the English. The creator didn't expect to make a global fricking hit, she was focused on silly gags and magical scenarios.
If it was written for an English author there would be a lot more gags about sausage rolls and crusty jugglers anon.
>sausage rolls
ah frick I could go for a crusty sausage roll right now
Had a sausage-inna-bun earlier and some banana milkshake to wash it down. Got a big bottle of lucozade chilling in the fridge too.
Good times anon, good times.
how did his father have one of the deathly hallows again? also he died in his 20s i think
>how did his father have one of the deathly hallows again
grand daughter of one of the peverell brothers got married to a potter so it was passed down
best part is the first broom he got as a gift from the supposedly super-strict McGonagal after he broke the rules
first year they met that'd be stupid thing to do, but by 2nd and 3rd year you could help the family who took you in and the friend who saved your life more than once.
>saving and investing while clearly operating at poverty levels
This is what I do. I've been eating rice and ketchup packets while I put most of my paycheck away in savings so I can buy myself a Jeep. As much as I want to live by the $2k shitbox mentality that Cinemaphile swears by, I'm tired of seeing everyone driving fancy new cars.
a car is the worst investment possible you fricking status addled dickbrain
it depreciates by 50% the second you buy it
thats not an investment, its an expenditure
I didn't say I was buying new-new. But frick if I don't want something that has something more than an am-fm radio in it. And I like the body style of a jeep
Buying clothes and wands is an investment you goy-brained cuck.
yes
>Why are you even poor? We can use magic for pretty much anything.
>You somehow got tickets to the wizard equivalent of the Super Bowl, how'd you afford that?
They did explain that part, Ron's dad was friends with Ludo Bagman, who is basically the organizer of the wizard Super Bowl, so they didn't pay a thing
>they fricking didn't explain that
http://nldslab.soe.ucsc.edu/charactercreator/film_corpus/film_20100519/all_imsdb_05_19_10/Harry-Potter-and-the-Goblet-of-Fire.html
>it was in the book
well frick your book
it's not in the movie
>it's not in the movie
that's because the movies turned to shit when the books became lengthy and the studio insisted on filling ~25m of runtime with irrelevant crap
would've taken like 10 seconds max to explain in the movie, wouldn't have even made it longer
i'm not going to bother downloading the book to find out if there's a real explanation but i'm suspicious
I can assure you it is explained
they also borrow a tent from a man sick with lumbago
t. listened to Harry Potter audiobooks routinely as a kid
>here my friends, some of the worst seats ever
I always kinda read that as Ron's dad being a compulsive gambler (explaining why they were always broke, despite him having a cush government job. I think ludo (runs illegal bookie operation on the side) lost a bet to Ron's dad, and the tickets were something ludo stole from his department to pay Arthur with.
>having a cushy government job
no he didn't, his job was shit
hexed someone in front of him
govt job = pension/401kazam, wizard medical/wizard dental for you and your entire immediate family.
pure headcanon, most people weren't even aware that the department he worked at existed
>"He went completely berserk. He said — well, he said loads of ter-
rible stuff. He said he’s been having to struggle against Dad’s lousy
reputation ever since he joined the Ministry and that Dad’s got no
ambition and that’s why we’ve always been — you know — not had a
lot of money, I mean —"
government jobs having a pension and Healthcare at MINIMUM isn't frickin headcanon. it's common fricking knowledge. are you dumb, stupid, or dumb? huh? you need me to come to your house and rape you? would that help? you seem a bit thick. maybe a good raping is what you need to stop being moronic.
t. ronald weasely
just kys
no way. Mrs Weasley would curse his balls off but I like your headcannon
whatever you want to believe. but it's a FACT that bootlegging/prositution/illegal gambling all go up during times of turmoil. and the books take place right as the grace period ends and the tribulation really ramps up
>despite him having a cush government job.
His job had shit pay according to Mr. Malfoy in the 2nd book.
>wizard Super Bowl
It's the wizard World Cup, because it's an international competition cared about by more than one country
i mean yeah, its literally not his problem that ron's parents didn't think of using fetus deletus
>Yeah, Harry? Well, how are your mum and dad doing these days?
>Not sure. Should I give them your best next time I see them in a mirror, or in Voldemort's wand, or in any of the other hald-dozen places their souls are apparently trapped?
>their souls are apparently trapped?
those are just magic AI projections
>Looking forward to the Holidays, Arry? Those Dursleys probably have some nice presents for ya
>I get free room and board with them. Then when I took the wizard bus, the ticket was free. How is your family poor when nothing costs money?
It was not free, they had tickets that cost money
How much does Harry pay for the wizard bus?
11 sickles
that seems like a lot
the seats were grade A premo what are you on about?
Idk about the books, in the movie they're in the poorgay area
>in the movie they're in the poorgay area
what? no way. I thought they scrapped that whole section for the film. unless you mean their shitty tent and campsite with all the Irish
the actual game has them in the skybox and Harry loses his wand to a rich dude's invisible evil son who just managed to break out of his dad's mindrape curse
yea in the book they are also in the top box
what a fricking mess that film made of the opening chapters
no they are not you dumbass, the seats are in the top box. Malfoy only remarks on he and his father sitting next to the minister of magic.
now that the dust has settled...
cho >>>> ginny >> hermione
books:
fleur's underage sister > fleur > Cho > Hermione > Angelina Johnson > ginny
movies:
2nd movie Hermione > the OG pansy Parkinson that MOGGED Emma > Luna lovegood > Bellatrix > fleur
>fleur's underage sister
>2nd movie Hermione
PoA is the best movie and also has best Hermione.
>Heres your Chinese love interest Harry, Ching Chong Bing Bong
For me, it's spanish drag queen myrtle.
https://youtube.com/shorts/GWfniI185Iw?si=aJJKQm7ZFuJRdGO4
Forgot the link
Ron gets all butthurt that Harry paid for his binoculars and forgot about the debt
hes not allowed to touch it until hes 18
>and Mrs Weasley can just dip into it without authorization
what the frick is going on at that bank?
yes he is
> ollivander could just ship ron a brand new wand.
cant just ship someone a new wand they have to be chosen by the wand
why did this wand choose Hermione?
Ribbed for her pleasure
They could have spared 30 minutes in one of their "free days", to scort him there with one of those weird, green fire teleport chimney things
This was the 90s, people still had a sense of propriety. It would have been pretty insulting to buy your best male friend clothes because he's poor. Also the English are class conscious. You just wouldn't do that without a murder suicide by awkward.
>Also the English are class conscious.
Yes goy, let your best friend who saved your life and helped you to beat magical hitler on your first year, with a dangerous tool he need to use everyday, don't even try to help him, let him use a broken wand that could kill him
Harry's money is in a trust and even then he can't leave school to hit up an ATM you stupid mudblood
How would wizards deal with some guy with a gun? I'm sure it's been addressed but it never comes up in these threads.
It's alot quicker and easier to report unload a magazine into someone than cast a spell. Just saying.
Well they could easily block the bullets, it's impossible to block Avada Kedavra
They could also easily heal bullet wounds instantaneously, it's impossible to heal from Avada Kedavra because you just instantly die
High level magicians could probably react fast enough to cast wandless magic but if you snuck up on an unsuspecting wizard I'm sure you'd have a shot
>it's impossible to block Avada Kedavra
it can be blocked by a mother's love. everyone who died from avada kedavra didn't have a mother who loves them.
A mother’s love AND an actual mother to die in your place.
so hypothetical scenario; it's the step-mom, but the kid doesn't know it. does it block the curse? for the record, the step mom actually DOES love him. does it count as a mother's love? or does she die? pretty fricked up way to find out you were adopted...
no it's blood-magic
Reminder that it only worked because Voldy was there for Harry specificly. Any other family he slaughtered couldn't have done it since you can't sacrifice yourself if you're gonna die anyway.
It's completely dependent on Voldy being unnaturally paranoid about dying to the point that the prophecy had him tunnel-vision Harry to the point that he hardly even noticed Lily was in the room.
>they could easily block the bullets
they don't even know what guns are, ministry experts call them firelegs. nobody walks around with a shield up at all times, any one wizard would be dead literally before he understood what happened. a bigger group would present issues
>prot...
>BLAM
Have fun trying to block a revolver bullet going at 300m/s lmao
>he doesn't have a constant "if lead moving at high speed is detected, turn it into dust" aura cast around him at all times
Nice try muggie.
Harry potter encounters this strange fellow one morning, what happens?
Did you link the wrong post, anon?
Also don't tell me you don't know about the green clarinet.
I did link the wrong post but my post still stands
I don't know nor care about the green clarinet
What about the red tuba?
>Well they could easily block the bullets, it's impossible to block Avada Kedavra
extremely lazy writing
>this stuff you can block but this other stuff you can't block because... IT'S REALLY EVIL AND YOU JUST CAN'T BLOCK REALLY EVIL STUFF OK?
>it's impossible to block Avada Kedavra
you can block that shit with a pizza box anon
guns get brought up in the 3rd book, I think. daily prophet says Sirius black has escaped from alijazerban and has a gun (a type of wand muggles use to kill each other)..
wizards are so fricking moronic, that they think anything pointy that makes a flash is a type of wand. there's tons of examples through all the books that just show wizards to be complete morons with no sense of the muggle world OR their own. muggles are shown to be smarter by pretty much every metric.
The daily prophet says that the muggles have been told that he is armed with a gun but yes, they need to explain what a gun is to their audience
I imagine knowledge about guns is something you get from an undergraduate level of muggle studies
I don't understand how they could be aware muggles exist but not guns. Do they live in a world entirely detached from giving a frick about literally anything? It would be like english people being aware that America exists but literally none of them being aware guns exist
the longstanding culture of magnanimously ignoring muggles like they are animals runs deep and most families are so isolated from them they don't think about them or their weird society at all unless a mudblood tells them about it or they work in a field influencing them like a zookeeper. even the "good guys" who dislike abuse of muggles feel that way more from an animal welfare kind of perspective
hard to believe they didn't take more notice once nuclear bombs were invented
>Do they live in a world entirely detached from giving a frick about literally anything?
this is one of the reasons Voldemort seethes so much. Not only because he wants wizards to openly reign over muggles like gods but because them running around the globe breeding like rats is like how people feel about the various types of Black folk today
JK Rowling specifically said that Voldemort is a black man
>grindelwald warn wizards about ww1 tier muggles bombs and how they can genocide them with ease
>wizards don't know what a gun is 50 years after the fricking ww2( like nazis wouldn't use wizards)
Dumbledore vs Grindlewald is obviously a WW2 allegory
Were france and germany gay lovers too like dumbledore and grindlewald?
>grindelwald warn wizards about ww1 tier muggles bombs
Anon... It was a nuke. He was seeing Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
It comes from the books originally being aimed at a much yonger audience than the later ones
In the first couple of books wizards are made out to be complete weirdos and comically out of touch with muggles (They dont even know what cars are)
Then when we have to start taking the society more seriously it all falls apart under its kids logic.
Kind of like when Tolkien went back and rewrote Gollums scene in The Hobbit to fit better with LOTR.
Grindelwald seems to be one of the few wizards that realize how dangerous muggles can be if they set their mind to something. That ww2 vision spell he did was fricking kino.
oh, don't play me that shit. wizards are fricking morons.
>have no idea how electricity works, can't even pronounce the word.
>have no idea which muggle clothes are intended for men or women. in one of the books, a wizard is wearing muggle women's clothes that he found, and his other wizard friend is trying to explain (to no avail) that they aren't for men
>have no idea what a gun is, or that it isn't a type of wand
>have no idea how to do basic fact checking or cross referencing. which allowed a complete fraud to rise to riches and superstardom by memory erasing (and probably raping) COUNTLESS people.
I could go on
Well they probably gave an analogy so that all of their audience could comprehend what they're talking about
Why bother mentioning how a gun works when the majority of wizards do not care?
The thing about the muggle clothes in goblet of fire is an example which bolsters my point since muggles is not a topic that wizards NEED to know about
Also they're literally made to write an essay answering the question 'Explain why Muggles need electricity' in Hogwarts
why doesn't harry, a world famous wizard who intimately knows the muggle world, revolutionize the wizarding world by using his basic understanding of technology and science? It's one thing if it's some muggle born that nobody cares about but he's basically the most famous person in their world. Everyone knows him everywhere
There are plenty of muggle born people in the wizarding world
Harry's mother for example
I don't see why you think knowledge of science and technology would change anything
Based on Arthur's behaviour it is clear that it is all just seen as quaint by wizards and some of them pity muggles having to go through all of that
She wrote compelling children's fiction full of wish fulfilment and escapism
She knew what she was doing
>seen as quaint by wizards and some of them pity muggles having to go through all of that
homie you doo doo on the floor and magic it away. floorshitting wood-wavers. oh, but WE'RE the chuckleheads? WE'RE dumb? if you gays were smart, you'd disappear the poop when it was still in your ass. 10,000 years of wizards existing, and nobody thought of that? I guess that makes me the king of wizards.
>10,000 years of wizards existing, and nobody thought of that? I guess that makes me the king of wizards.
shitting is seen as a fun activity, an opportunity for women to chatter inanely, and a great social bonding experience much like in India
Hermione was raised by muggles and has an average intelligence for a muggle but completely mogged the whole school even though she *just* heard about wizards n that
Why do you think she has an average intelligence for a muggle
I'm just playing along with the "wizards are morons" theory
It makes sense, they have no need to be smart since they can just magic everything
Literally no need to learn about civil engineering, for example. Just magic ridiculous architecture and hold it together with magic. No wizard will ever know the basics of mechanics and forces. Many such cases!
>It makes sense, they have no need to be smart since they can just magic everything
you have to be smart and powerful enough to magic anything substantial
not really. it's mostly a matter of practice and intuition. like not all pro skateboarders are super smart. then when you combine that with natural intellect and some book-learnin you get OP wizards like Dumbledore
>can magically create extremely complex structures beyond what's possible in the muggle world
let's make...everything look old and shit. where are the creatives in Harry Potter? In a world that allowed it people would take on way more creative work as proven by the low value of creative labour and the massive market over saturation. Where are all the "hip" young people? I know it was 90s but there was no shortage of teenage rebellion in the 90s. Shouldn't there be greasy wizard kids listening to Korn
Nah, it all needs to be safe bands and culture so it doesn't scare kids parents when they take them to see the movies.
Hermoine was fresh blood, most wizard families are inbred and are stuck in their old ways.
>have no idea how electricity works
why should they care?
>have no idea which muggle clothes are intended for men or women
that's just one example of a crazy old kook. most wizards might look a bit odd but do well enough with fashion
>have no idea what a gun is, or that it isn't a type of wand
that's just from a news article explaining in laymens terms to those who might not know
>have no idea how to do basic fact checking or cross referencing. which allowed a complete fraud to rise to riches and superstardom by memory erasing (and probably raping) COUNTLESS people.
based Gilroy
a headshot to a sleeping wizard is certain death but if bullets are anticipated they can be blocked with babby's first magic shield spell
or you could just go the Chadgrid route and bent the barrel with your bare hand
DRY UP DURSLEY YOU DIRTY c**t
Why was Ginny Weasley invited to Slughorn's famous dinners? What special talent did she display? Ability to take massive amounts of wiener?
Bat bogey hex, i.e the only thing she's good at, should've left her banging the nog
Why didn't Voldemort kill the mom first?
Snape begged him not to and he obliged him as much as he could probably because he was scared of dumbledore and wanted snape to kill him for him
hmm that actually makes sense
I always found Voldemort's "mercy" uncharacteristic
he wanted to have sex with her before he killed her. took care of HP Sr, makes his way over to the mom, starts unzipping his robe. hears baby Harry in the next room, he's like "I don't know if I've got enough goo for two, but I'll damn sure try." so he's doing what the prophecy foretold, and lily starts getting all mad for some reason, so he just killed her.
It was a children's book and this pretty early in the plot.
because slugworth wanted to steal the everlasting gobstopper
>literal magic exists that can allow you to build, create, and obtain almost anything at any time
>wizard poverty exists
This is rowlings (correct) way of saying no matter what resources you provide there are some people that are just fricking worthless and incompetent
It’s why I don’t believe in taxes and government assistance
That should tell you that poverty is a state of mind and some people are just better than others.
>Making inferences about how real world poverty works based on a childrens book series where the wizards shit themselves instead of using toilets.
you cant create food and most wizards are probably very mediocre at magic. plus you can't transform stuff but not create it out of thin air, and most spells only last a minute or so or are otherwise damaged by the slightest touch
What about when he fills the hall with a feast in every book
he has an entire army of slaves working 24/7 in the kitchen
The food is made by the elves in the kitchen (underneath the dining hall, iirc) and then is magically transported to the hall.
why is nobody in the world interested in figuring out the scientific basis behind magic? Why don't they do an MRI on a wizard? Or even if they don't want to let the secret out surely there's some..magical MRI for finding out what's wrong with people, right?
wizards are inbred narcissists with no real interest in the "muggle world". imagine being NEET but with a magic wand. all the government and society stuff is mostly larping out of boredom or because of ubiquitous incompetence necessitating specialization
Like you couldn't find a dude with no power, like the jannie, who hate wizards society and want to destroy it cause they treat him like shit
don't come to school tomorrow ron
>you cant create food
It's not false but also not correct.
If you have food, you can multiply it but you can't multiply the nutritional value.
So if you quadruple a fish, every fish only contains a quarter of the nutritional value of a single fish.
That way you can fill your belly and fight the hunger but you'll still die of malnutrition. It's explained in the 7th book when they all went innawoods.
>you can multiply it but you can't multiply the nutritional value
This is not stated anywhere in the books and makes absolutely no sense unless you're in a universe controlled by an autistic DM
Why would rowling need to explain shit
she made money anyway
>he doesn't know Gamp's laws of elemental transfiguration
lol. lmao even
no one really suffers from poverty except for maybe Voldemort's mom and only because she refused to use magic due to neurosis
you're not going to starve and freeze to death or anything if you have a wand and can teleport
it's mainly a regulatory, service, and craft economy
Dat mouf is how she gots the role.
She's like a seal mon.
Ron didn’t want charity and makes that clear at several points. He doesn’t want to take his mates money. It’s legit.
dead on about jkr being an absolute coward and liberal centrist. entire book series suffers massively because of it. all that shit about Harry just being passive and wanting to preserve status quo is dead on. Harry never wanted to change the world for the better. he BARELY even wanted to be there. he's like Dante from clerks, but glorified to a ridiculous level.
i hope that the rumors that she used ghostwriters for the later books to keep pumping them out at that speed is proven true in the future.
Apparently the writing style really is all over the place in the later books and anons use that as proof.
good post
Chuds will read this and agree thinking this anon is a based chuddie too not realising everything said here is a blatantly communist viewpoint
You do understand that communism is objectively superior to liberalism, right?
Liberalism in its contemporary form exists purely and simply to attempt to mollify and sedate conservative talking points. As an ideology it pretty much has no reason to exist anymore.
>Liberalism in its contemporary form exists purely and simply to attempt to mollify and sedate conservative talking points.
Ah yes liberalism is a joke ideology because you can't murder anyone who owns more than 1 acre of land and makes over 60k a year. Go run off to some little commune and read theory you freak.
Implying you wouldn't do the same if they were black or trans or you just thought you could run their land better than them. Oh wait sorry we're couching this discussion in McCarthyist era propaganda.
I should probably just call you an imperialist pig, as if these words (and their opposite equivalents) ever meant anything.
communism just means israeli tricks and fortunately goblins are kept on a tight leash in the wizarding world
If that's the case why did the Leninists rob banks?
just a localized means to an end (total israelite world domination of financial markets)
he makes reference to trump at the end, so the post can be appreciated from either side of centrist complacency
The thing is it makes no sense for Harry to want to change the wizard world.
Harry grew up in the lousy muggle world hated every moment of it and going to the wizard world was literally the best thing that ever happened to him and it made his life perfect. It transformed him from a worthless orphan into a legend and a hero.
Why would he want to change that world? And to be more like the muggle world no less. The wizard world seems imperfect but who would choose the muggle world over it?
Surely the wizards who are smarter and more powerful can see the muggle's obsession with change and "progress" and realize it has brought them misery. The assumption here is that the possibility of a utopia must exist but the wizards have accepted that may not be the case. So they choose the simpler poetic conflicts that add pageantry to their world over the complex ones that only lead to confusion and uncertainty.
https://archive.4plebs.org/tv/search/image/Z-BYroN-09plr0trES8Z7w/
>>have no idea how to do basic fact checking or cross referencing. which allowed a complete fraud to rise to riches and superstardom by memory erasing (and probably raping) COUNTLESS people.
Happens irl thoughbeit
the fact that there's shapeshifting, stun spells and memory mod spells taught to literal teenagers and the books aren't full of depraved sex proves that Rowling is an automaton
they do in the directors cut
iirc human transformation spells/potions, memory spells, and mind control spells are all highly illegal or dangerous and not taught to youths and punishable by a lifetime of supertorture in wizard Guantanamo
not saying I wouldn't wizard rape but there's a strong deterrent against it
humans transforming into animals straight up is legal
so magical bestiality
Also because it's Britain prostitution is legal. You could make a lot of money as a shape changed trout or some shit.
can you imagine all the shite that's in the restricted section. One thing I never understood about Harry Potter is why all the kids aren't massive fricking nerds. It's really easy to learn spells and potions and it's seemingly never fricking ending. There's no way you could even begin to learn all the spells in the school library let alone the world. Why would you frick around in school when they're teaching you literal magic. Reading the future, turning into an animal at will etc
>Why would you frick around in school when they're teaching you literal magic. Reading the future, turning into an animal at will etc
because they're probably not smart enough to do those spells, more than half of the class were struggling during their first charms class which is probably the simplest of all types of magics
> Not smart enough.
Until Rowling describes the exact structure of how magic works in setting that's kind of not important.
wizards are subhumans. just follow the instructions lol these mfs are literally too dumb to make a microwave meal
>a microWHAT
>because they're probably not smart enough to do those spells,
Reading the spell's name is enough to invoke it, you don't even have to know what it does. Like when Harry learns sectumsempra from the potions book and all he knows about it is that it is "for enemies". Learning a spell is nothing more than pronouncing it correctly.
not at all
spells can be done non-verbally and wicked spells require malice of forethought
>wicked spells require malice of forethought
That's so dumb. What if need to "wicked spell" someone and I just happen to be in a REALLY good mood? Will the spell fizzle since it can't feel my contempt for my target right then and there?
>can't feel my contempt for my target
Yes if you don't have contempt for the target at the moment of the cast, it will not work
well for some of them anyway
Moody says that a typical kid using the torture curse on him probably wouldn't give him a nosebleed
Harry tries it on Bellatrix when he's really pissed and it barely works
>Reading the future
any legit success in that field is less common than astronauts. it's like the rarest and most elusive skill in their world
>turning into an animal
also described as really difficult with severe consequences if fricked up.
oh shame I'd just stick to one of the fricking bazillion other things then
> Anon realised at that moment he was talking to an autist.
Jolly good anon, jolly good.
Didn't ron or harry shape shift into girl at one point? Seemed easy enough that teens in one of the earlier movies could pull it off.
Just because harry&ron& hermoine where emotionaly stunted losers doesnt mean the rest of the castle was fricking like there was no tomorow.
Mixed boarding schools are famous for how much fricking there is.
>complete fraud
who was the one of the most powerful wizards right after dumbledore and a descendant of slytherin. that was probably more than enough for the purebloods
I was taking about Gilderoy Lockhart you absolute dunce.
oh well he was just the wizard equivalent of a kpop idol
being rich and famous is way better than having parents
harry had it ez
I enjoy how the central conceit brought forward by Voldemort that wizards are better than muggles and should rule the world is never actually dealt with as Harry is basically the only half blood member of his super-concentrated Ubermensch family line.
Harry correctly determined poorgays in the wizarding world are poor by choice and if they wanted to stop being poor they could easily choose to do so
>conjure food
>chores get done with a flick of your wrist
>you can have slaves to do your housework if casting a few spells is just too much work for you
>something breaks? lmao let me fix it with this spell there now it’s good as new
>free teleportation, if you don’t like that you can ride a broom that doesn’t require fuel
>even if you have a ton of kids like the Weasleys they spend most of their childhood at the state-funded boarding school, you only have to take care of them when they are very young and in the summer
food
can't do that
>>you can have slaves to do your housework if casting a few spells is just too much work for you
only rich and pureblood families had house elves
if I was a wizard I would breed so many entry-level house elves tbh
>can't do that
fanon
>fanon
its mentioned multiple times in the book
something relating to it is mentioned a couple of times in the last book and always taken completely out of context. the actual explanation of it we get immediately after it's first mentioned disproves the "magic just doesn't work with food lol" shit
it's basically a nothing rule because you can multiply food like Jesus so you can turn 1 crumb of food into a warehouse full
also maybe if wizards weren't such arrogant c**ts they could learn some basic chemistry and bind carbon oxygen and hydrogen into glucose. the whole "harry and friends are hungry" plot is so painful. especially when they decide the moral imperative to not steal 20 quid worth of muggle food from a shop is more important than fighting wizard Satan
The camping plot works if you just treat it as them being moronic kids. They're the equivalent of Black folk drowning in 2 feet of water.
Does anyone else think that Hermoine is probably the most natural of all muggle born people?
If I were her I'd also dedicate all of my time to studying literally everything I could and yet so many muggle born students seem content to having a very vague idea of things
most kids are really impressionable and probably quickly abandon that in order to fit in and not look like a muggle-loving geek
I love how much this kind of series conditioned a whole generation that if you are the perceived "good guys" it is okay to do whatever, really shows its face when it comes to politics.
Hilarious that Hogwarts even has a whole house dedicated to the "bad guys" and they are thoroughly shat on all throughout. Its very clear how the female brain works regarding partisanism.
>Hogwarts even has a whole house dedicated to the "bad guys"
slytherin is the only house I would want to be in. white, blue eyes, value loyalty, you're only as strong as the weakest link, etc. in all honesty, jkr never thought out the house system AT ALL. she knew she wanted "the good house" that Harry would be part of, and "the bad house that was gonna have Harry's little schoolyard enemy. then she realized she couldn't have only two houses in a school, cause that's frickin stupid. so she just made up two on the spot. what's the third house? uhh... all the really SMART kids! and the fourth house? uhh.. the leftover reject kids.
actually, now that I think about it, ravenclaw is tailor-made for Hermione, and Ron fits perfectly into hufflepuff. if Rowling was an even half- event writer, she could have made it about 4 kids from the 4 houses overcoming their differences and being friends and defeating evil. would have been a way cooler arc if Malfoy eventually became part of the crew.
hufflepuff is the loyalty house
also slughorn is based despite being slytherin. not all slytherins are into killing people
>hufflepuff is the loyalty house
well then that solidifies my point even further that Draco, Harry, Hermione, and Ron were each supposed to be in each of the 4 houses and become friends.
>Draco, Harry, Hermione, and Ron were each supposed to be in each of the 4 houses and become friends.
kino idea but it would be dreadfully uncomfy to have them in different common rooms
>kino idea but it would be dreadfully uncomfy to have them in different common rooms
Make the houses hang out in a single large common room?
No
They must be segregated and only allowed to interact with people who are exactly like them..for some reason
have them discover the room of requirements in the early years then
this tbh
I watched it recently and its actually pretty funny when you are aware of this.
>quidditch match
>rules specifically state shit is allowed
>slytherin kids bump into hogwarts
>entire crowd seems to boo them as if they were doing something unfair
>gryffindor kid slams into someone
>whole crowd cheers
>slytherin gets shat on at the end with the points
>entire school celebrates
>if you audit the reasons gryffindor got points you will see shit like "sheer dumb luck"
>no one complains, including snape for some reason
I am like 95% convinced hogwarts is basically just an incredibly sophisticated LARP that wizard parents force their kids to go through.
Which is about as close to commentary about British private schooling that Rowling ever got to.
You really overestimate how smart rowling is.
If you fill in the blanks with this though it actually starts to make sense.
Yeah because that's going so well for us now that we got rid of the commies eh anon.
just two sides of the same goblin scheme
>got rid of the commies
Where are these commies now? Are they in the room with us?
>we have the same principles as commies
>but we don't call ourself commies now so commies don't exist
Answer the question anon. Where are the commies?
American universities, Israeli dungeons, and the UN
Anyone have a link to that video of the "HOWEVER" scene with the dramatic music? Almost makes you pity Malfoy.
Amazing. If this scene actually played out like that and the rest of the movies were just about Malfoy becoming the next Voldemort, I probably would have been an actual HP fan.
Even ravenclaw and hufflepuff celebrate when slytherin lose
gets shat on at the end with the points
Best part is that none of the kids ever question it either, like, Id feel kinda shit for winning in that way when its obvious favouritism, but they are so deep up their own asses they give 0 shits about being unfair because how could it be any other way?
Really pinpoints Rowling's brand of liberalism where the good guys are good guys just because they are good guys and everything good that happens to them, even if through unfair means, is fair.
Snape is regularly shown abusing the points like a massive c**t unlike any other teacher and saving the world and school from a supreme evil is pretty legit reason for getting points. and they barely win
>snape giving bullshit points
>EVIL
>dumbledore giving bullshit points
>GOOD
Only furthers anon's point.
Do you think that the wizarding world has muggle experts who can tell them how to not be noticed by muggles or do they just brute force it with magic?
Well yes obviously on both sides, there are muggles in government that know wizards exist too so they can help cover up shit that happens
do we wish there were more wizarding world kinos, bros??
Yes. Fantastic Beasts was OK for one film and even then it should have just been wizard Steve Irwin instead of what they cooked up
we wanted a dedicated Dumbledore prequel kino and now it's too late to do anything with the franchise without filling it with Black folk and political garbage that defies the appeal of escaping to a magic fantasy land
>look at me I'm harry potter I get to do everything and win all fights and just be super important without even doing anything
>everyone else can suck it I don't care I'm harry potter
the fricking attitude on this guy
>NOBODY beats ME, cause I'm THE WIZ!
I don't remember this wienery potter your referring to, although he probably would have been more interested than what we got.
Impossible outside of anime anon.
he wasn't wienery but it felt like he took stuff for granted
everywhere he went people got all sorts of fricked up and he always came out unscathed, then was all like ''oh yeah that was perfectly normal and fine, I'm going to move on now'' and all because he was harry potter
he broke his arm one time
oh no!
he's also intermittently in excruciating, incapacitating pain from his scar and gets mind raped by Voldemort at one point, and has spooky dreams. it aint easy being Harry
I feel really bad for Harry Potter, I really do, all of that attention from his scar and being placed above everyone else at all times, even when it came to quidditch that was supposed to be something his legacy shouldn't have had any type of influence over, still did, and he was praised, I mean, it must really suck.
>t. ronald bilius weasley
The worst part about it all is that we're supposed to all cheer him on during all of this pants on head moronic extremely unrealistic and impossibly heroic feats that happen willy nilly all of the time because apparently his foster parents (oh no, he was adopted!) treated him bad or something for a while, so he basically deserves the entire world handed to him and be a god forever because of it.
Harry potter encounters this strange fellow one morning, what happens?
do wizards smoke weed
yea probably
they definitely smoke tobacco and get drunk
wizard coke parties probably get weird
>another comfy Cinemaphile HP thread
god I love these
>200 replies
>not a single Emma pic
gay
were is her ass and breasts?
She's flat as a board if you didn't know.
wierd, in that one movie where she played a bawd before she went full feminist she had some curves.
Maybe i'm remembering it wrong, it has been a while.
She was always a twiglet and never had either
AI ruined emmaposting
What out of 10 would this be in bongland?
Her friend seems to be a lot cuter which is the standard for female friendships where the cute one gets made to take pictures of the fugly one.
>I can fix her
I love how the two biggest British movie franchises are either people going on holiday in Britain (who just so happen to be British) or British person going on holiday and getting shagged.
>Oi somebody done stolen me bum
>find a guy without powers angry at the wizarding world because he's treated like shit
>send him to places frequented by wizards like the village next to Hogwarts
>have him take photos of the sky at night
>find the place with the stars
>nuke them
I wasn't sure if the wizarding world really exists in a normal physical location I was under the impression it's something like alternate universe. Not like a spirit realm but more like in between space that doesn't physically exist. Like the train platform being inside a pillar at the station. Or diagon alley being behind a brick wall at the pub
It's something she stole from The Book of Ultimate Truths and Raiders of the Lost Carpark by Robert Ranken.
Basically take a map and try to wrap it around a globe. Notice that you seem to have a lot of paper from the map either cut off. That says that either the earth is not round it the globe is actually bigger than we're led to think.
Flat Earth stuff is bullshit, we know it's round because of the horizon and stuff, so it has to be bigger. But if the globe is bigger than the map doesn't fit around the equator. So there is another explanation... What if rather than cut off the excess pieces were folded here and there? It is those folded bits that make up the forbidden zones in Robert Ranken's novels and places like Diagon Ally or Platform 9 3/4 in the Wizarding World.
That's moronic IRL but Douglas Adams worthy for book logic
What are some better broomstick competitions that you can think of?
Having a race between two riders to catch the golden snitch would be cool
>a race
somehow you came up with the most boring idea possible
Quidditch is actually pretty neat
>6 players do basketball
>2 players play goalie
>2 players mad dash to hunt a tiny golden bird
>all the while 4 maniacs try to break everyone's skulls
>6 players do basketball
it's handball
Reminder that FemDraco would have made a lot more sense and would have been a better romance option for harry that the ginger school cumdumpster.
In fairness Hermione really did need a character who absolute mogged her the way Harry did Ron. Bonus points they're only in Slytherin because it's where they can do the most good.
femharry makes even more sense with how passive and later b***hy he is
yes
>imagine this getting all tsundere over you while calling you a mudblood
>random teacher can simply cast a spell to try and kill a student during a quidditch match
>no security measures actually in place to detect magic or anything of the sort
Is quidditch a sport where they make the kids fly around thinking they are doing shit themselves while all the old teachers have fun moving the balls and actually fighting each other with magic?
What stops literally any teacher from moving the bludgeon just a little or influencing the snitch to move in a direction and so on if they want their house to win?
the balls are magic dumbass
you can't just accio summon the snitch
You can apparently just tamper with the players' brooms though, who says they arent constantly doing that
because Hagrid keeps track and yells
>OI THAT'S BEEN TAMPAHED WITH INNIT
whenever something seems awry
You you had read the books you'd know that Harry offered more than once to financially help but the Weasley family always rejected.
The only ones who didn't reject were the twins, they got the money from Harry in the 4th book after Ludo Bagman stole the betting money from them. They used Harry's money to open their magic shop, that's why Harry is always getting freebies from them.
>tfw ywn sleep with your friends in the Gryffindor tower
>tfw ywn sleep in the black house which is invisible to all outsiders and completely impregnable
let's face it, if you were a wizard at Hogwarts you would spend all day in the shrieking shack browsing Cinemaphile and jacking it to veela hentai
>'ARRY: "We'll take the lot."
>RON (SURPRISED): "Blodd 'ell, 'arry! Yew can afford that?"
>'ARRY: "It's roight simpl economics innit? Yew're poor, and I'm well off."
>RON: "Blimey, yew oughtn't've said that!"
>'ARRY: "Why's that? Me opulens loisens 's'all in order, innit?"
>('ARRY PUTS HIS ARM AROUND 'ERMIONE, PULLING HER CLOSER)
>RON: "Oy!"
>('ARRY STICKS HIS HAND DOWN 'ERMIONES PANTIES)
>'ARRY: "There's a cotton ceiling lad, yew 'ave to be this-"
>('ARRY INSERTS A FINGER INTO 'ERMIONE, GRINNING)
>('ERMIONE MOANS IN PLEASURE)
>'ARRY: '-affluent to enter!"
>Weasleys win 1000 galleons in a lottery in book 3
>immediately spend it all down to the last penny in a single tourist trip to Egypt
Original Pansy best girl.
>be a house head
>gift expensive broom to rich kid for extracurricular
>ignore a poor boy in my class that has broken wand and gets into trouble because of it
Snape wouldn't do that
>Snape wouldn't do that
damn anon you're right
Snape's a top bloke but we don't find that out until later
Was Snape really a good guy?
I though he agreed with deatheater ideology, but was so down bad for Lily that he'd give up any personal inclinations.
>agreed with deatheater ideology
who doesn't?
>Ron please its time to sell the magical linkies, they are at 42k golden galleons!
you can tell harry potter was written by a woman based on how the solution to every problem the main character faces is that random people give them money and free gifts
kek, this.
>gets showered with a fortune at 11
>gets random unique expensive items in the mail constantly
>because apparently his foster parents (oh no, he was adopted!)
Dumbledore couldve easily found a better guardian family if he had simply asked around. The whole reason of "not letting his fame ruin him growing up" is bullshit given anything before 11 hed be a fricking child that apparently doesnt leave their house anyway given education in the wizard world starts at 11
dumbledork
what a clown
>Dumbledore couldve easily found a better guardian family if he had simply asked around.
harry had to stay with petunia because she was the only living relative of lily's and the potters were dead, him being adopted by someone else would weaken lily's protection spell
Surely Petunia's clear hate for Lilly and Harry was doing more to undo the spell than anything
it was more about her blood relations than any sort of affection for harry
>Dumbledore couldve easily found a better guardian family if he had simply asked around.
blood and genes mattered, he needed to stay with real family. absolutely no difference between mudbloods and real wizards when it comes to magical ability, however. and if you mention it you're a wizard nazi.
They look high af
wouldn't mind listening to 'arry potter audiobooks
but I'd prefer it in a sexy girl's voice
is there such a thing?
no but Jim Dale does a pretty good french broad
https://audiobookbay.is/abss/harry-psotter-book-1-7-128-kbps-jk-rowling/
>jim dale
I'm not gay