>Hey virgin. Your parents have paid me to frick you.
How would Cinemaphile react to this situation?
 |
 Ape Out Shirt $21.68 |
|
>Hey virgin.
>Hey virgin. Your parents have paid me to frick you.
How would Cinemaphile react to this situation?
|
Ape Out Shirt $21.68 |
|
Go straight to pound town
Have some dignity. This is why you're a virgin. No spine, no self respect. Just a worm that accidentally incarnated as a "man"
having sex with women is why he’s a virgin?
He said he would, not that he did, hope this helps
>having sex with women is why he’s a virgin?
this, absolutely pathetic
What's this technique called?
grinding her ass on your crotch? not sure if it has a specific word, anon. What should it be called?
It’s called a lap day you neophytes.
For me lap days are one of those weird things that are hot in a club Becuase it’s pushing limits somehow but shit at home, I’d rather you just cuddle up to me and tickle my neck with your finger tips and stoke my thigh
God day it, *lapdance it’s called a lap dance.
nice lap day gay
>God day it
That's just every day, but only for the righteous
Oscar winning actress
This would be a turn off to me.
>p-please stop wiggling your nearly bare ass against my wiener
Why is it okay for women to do this?
Women only exist to get dicks hard and make them shoot thier cummies.
so what was stopping this guy from pulling down her underwear here and shoving his face into her ass?
ego?
superego?
In real life women are extremely in predictable for non chads, in reality they control every step of progression, even if you are being rough with them, in this situation she could call rape or claim not to be in the mood becuase a cat walked in the room 30 seconds too soon or 30 seconds too late.
Unless you have had sex many times with the person before, fast esuculting is a No no, even if she is busy telling you for the last 30 minutes she is a living sex doll and she likes to be raped.
homosexuality
I see some flaws in your argument anon
>fricking hookers is somehow bad
where the frick did this homosexual mindset come from?
that your parents gave you as a pity party?
Unironically women
Feminazi women and cuckservative men equally hate prostitution or anything that has to do with sex and pleasure
convienently they ignore the sellers side and hate the buyers
In Puritanical countries that have it outlawed, there's a decent chance a given sex worker was human trafficked. In countries where it's legal, regulated and they're self employed, fine, sure
>there's a decent chance a given sex worker was human trafficked
I missed the part where that's my problem
The Catholic Church.
>ok, I'm going to have sex with you now
>"NOOOOOOOO THIS IS WHY YOU'RE A VIRGIN!!! BECAUSE YOU ACCEPT SEX WHEN ITS OFFERED TO YOU!!!"
Please have a nice day just in case you have the opportunity to breed so you don't spread your moronation to future generations.
mental illness
The only correct answer here from a non-homosexual, if a prostitute is positioned like that and you say no, you’re fricking gay
Also if a b***h ever did this you better destroy her and just leave so she craves you non stop, obnoxious b***hes who position themselves like that are bawds and deserve to get fricked
hello third world dicklet
Everyone in this thread just contracted herpes. Good job. Was it worth it?
joke's on you I already got it fricking black girls
Pretty sure at this point the only people without some form of herpes are literal khhv virgins.
Where is that on google maps?
Same and remember to thank my parents later for a very nice gift.
Eren, Armeen. Poundtown.
Based. I’d do a few pumps and just collapse into a drooling mess.
>Did they pay extra for the choking, slapping, and spitting package? What happens if you get hospitalized, do my days get extended? I want you to call me "Caesar." If you tell anyone the size of my penis, I will drown you in the river ganges. Do not redeem, you bloody b***h!
Yessirski
POUND TOWN POUND TOWN MY homie JUST TOOK A b***h DOWN
>The duality of man, sir. The Jungian thing.
I know that pose
>Hey kid here's where my shit comes from
I wouldn't mind at all, thanks mom and dad
The first few times I had sex I was so nervous I couldn't get hard, and that was with a girl my age I was dating. If an older woman came onto me that aggressively, it'd probably end the same way, except I wouldn't feel obliged to get her off with my hands and mouth instead
i was the opposite, i got hard immediately and came within the minute
Jerking off everyday has its advantages, I have a lot of endurance, get on my level n00bs
idk man I jerk off every day and the few times I've gotten with women I had erectile dysfunction AND premature ejaculation. don't ask how that works.
Maybe you're doing it wrong, how long do you last jerking off and what kind of porn you consume, that could be your problem
anywhere between 5 minutes and 2 hours, and frankly very vanilla porn. I never went down the fetish spiral that a lot of people seem to. think 'porn for women', that kind of shit.
it doesn't matter, I've given up. my few sexual experiences have been disappointing for both parties and I have panic attacks thinking about being intimate again. it's been about 4 years and doubtful to happen again. I have no interest in pursuing it again anyway.
Well anon maybe you're just unlucky, don't give up though
I started having premature ejaculation after years of normal sexual functioning. It’s a nightmare I cum almost immediately after penetrating and it seems permanent
I never jack off anymore, but I know what you mean. When I'm with a woman I basically stay mostly soft, maybe a little semi-hard and yet cum prematurely.
I guess getting older (mid 30s), lack of sleep and stress are taking its toll. I plan to get cialis this week for the first time ever.
"gotten with a woman" isn't enough. You need to actually be attracted to the one you're with. There's also a lot to be said about "the chase" (pursuing a woman, letting her know you're interested and do a bit of social gaming before she submits).
I jerked off a lot before actually getting my end away with a girl, it ended up in my endurance being way too long, like 20+ mins, I had to be absolutely furiously thrusting to actually blow my beans.
Yeah that's what I'm talking about, idk how the other anon has problems if also jerks off a lot
>jerk off all the time
>cant stay hard during sex
>don't jerk off or watch porn
>stay hard as frick but cum in a minute
What do
find your weekly jerk off quota, don't watch extreme porn and edge a lot
I got hard but couldn't physically put it in her pussy, it was impenetrably tight. So we just cuddled. I felt like my foreskin would rip.
I've run into the same problem. Trying to get it in there as fast as I could. And it felt like an impenetrable wall. If it happens in the future: just take it slow. Rub your dick a bit agains her pussy and put it in and out little by little, each time a bit more. You'll notice when it opens up. Just need to be patient about it and not immediately think: 'This isn't working.'
It's one of those moments where you have to take charge and show you know better than her and relax her a bit.
At least that worked for me.
>I felt like my foreskin would rip.
cutgays win again
Black person if her pussy is dry you havent made her fricking wet enough. you have to have foreplay to make her lubed like a seal and then go in, christ zoomers....
this is kingly, women appreciate it way more than some moron aimlessly thrusting for 30 minutes
women take more time to cum than men, then again some women might just not be that much into sex anyway.
How do I break out of this cycle? t. near-wizard who nearly had sex 3 times
Well you need to find a partner you aren’t nervous with. It appears that you are scared of sex with an adult. Are you perhaps a pedophile?
Oh shit you’re right. Ha. Never mind.
>First, be sure you can maintain an erection when you’re alone and that it’s not solely nervousness
>Do foreplay before any penetration (obviously)
>frick her in a position where she’s facing away from you. It takes some of the pressure off
Stick with someone long enough that you no longer get nervous when you initiate sex. My first girlfriend and I tried a handful of time before she didn't feel like waiting any more and decided to ambush my morning boner. Came buckets within three seconds and that was my virginity done with. Fricked like rabbits after that.
no porn, learn to be comfortable with condom (try different brands, materials and type of condom lube, you may be slightly allergic to the silicone lube or latex, rare but happens), then buy a Fleshlight to be comfortable with penetration. You can fix this problem.
Also get a cialis prescription, it's useful to unblock mentally.
I was in the same position as you like a decade ago, good luck anon.
I got a cialis script after the last time but haven't had a chance to use it yet bc that girl blocked me after 2 times of not fricking her. Glad to hear you made it through
>that girl blocked me after 2 times of not fricking her
Your dick had more wisdom than you.
Your dick was thinking with your brain tfw
Jfc, I know all the oldgays on here are pushing 40 (myself included) but goddamn cialis? When did Cinemaphile turn into AARP?
Zoomies are on it now. There's less stigma against prescriptions in general. I was just talking to an ex gf whose current husband in late 20s doesn't frick her and she wants him on it.
Unironically have sex with someone who feels a connection to you and wants to date you long term. Hookups probably aren't going to work in this situation.
So when it doesn't go well one night, she says that's alright we'll try again later or tomorrow.
Last woman I dated I had performance anxiety, let her know it's a normal thing for me and it works great after a few false starts. She was really cool about it and after maybe one rocky start it worked great for the rest of the relationship, about 2 years. Really intense hours long sex. With condom, which is even more difficult to stay hard in. It's just a skill issue with a quick learning curve.
Good luck finding a good woman but that's what it takes. It also makes a huge difference how attractive she is. You want to be able to potentially get hard just from talking to her, or from her holding your hand in public.
this is why men are labeled gay for practicing oral sex on a woman, this anon sounds submissive as frick
you autistic spastics are something else
>you're gay if you have sex with women, I'm da based alpha
I've told this story before here but I'll tell it again.
The first time I had sex I paid $200 for it and couldn't cum. We did doggy and she blew me (with a condom on but still) and I was nowhere near so I tried with my hand. She got next to me and said "well at least you have a pretty girl to do this with". I thought I would be funny and break the tension with a joke so I asked if she knew one. She didn't think that was as funny as I did. I never did cum that day.
I remember reading your story before, I think
I couldn't cum during sex the first several times, I even faked an orgasm once so the girl I was with wouldn't get upset kek
thats what happened to me too, even though leading up to it i was creaming in my pants while we spooned and stuff like that. i ended up crying to her and telling her i was afraid to lose her blah blah. damn I was gay when I was a teenager.
months later i was pounding her hard. one time i made her puke. she never liked it doggy though i think i was too big and she was probably like 5'4".
My first time I couldn't stop being hard and I couldn't climax. Neither could she. I wasn't scared and neither was she. We were laughing after two hours of non-stop fricking because we literally couldn't tire of it. You're probably a closet queer lmao
I pass, thank you. I don't need to waste my pure Aryan seed on Jennifer fricking Lawrence.
So fricking based.
Lawrence is a gross trailer trash
Prostitution is illegal. I'm alerting the authorities with audio proof of your illegal activities.
"Okay that's fine. But I want the full GFE with dinner, a movie, and ice cream. Also, you need to wear this" *pulls out anime schoolgirl costume*
ice cream is a nice touch
My Mom is like the love doctor so if I weren't married then she probably would've sent a hooker my way. Thanks Mom
I'm not a virgin but everyone thinks I am.
Rape it and then tie it up in my room so I can frick it whenever I want, at this point in my life I hate women and will never fricking love one again, I’m just gonna use them the way they use men for money. Not one woman I’ve ever met has emotion. Tate was right
>Not one woman I’ve ever met has emotion.
They have excessive emotion. None of it is genuine.
>Baaaawwwww
im not convinced i could even get hard or much less get off after all these years of fapping alone
Last time I tried the girl was being completely non intimate, blew me for 30 seconds and then wouldn’t again, only wanted me to frick her hairy pussy, wouldn’t grab my dick, it was a miserable experience and psychologically I was disgusted with myself and her for us having just met 5 minutes prior and felt zero spark and a deflated soldier. Its been over a year and I’m resigned to it never happening again at this point.
Why was it so hairy if she knew she was meeting up with you?
Great fricking question, no clue man
That's how my friend found out his wife cheated on him. She had a three day stubble on her pussy. She never shaved it for him anymore. At first he thought she did it as a surprise for him, then he was like: "hold on, this stubble is three days old, what goes on here?"
Women are fricking stupid.
Forgot to add: he was coming home from a five day festival.
lel
unreal
How did he confront her? or did he just feel like he knew and bounced?
They were already in a bad spot. One day, shortly after that festival she asked him: "Do you want me to leave?". "Yes I do", he said. So she left. She said she was going to an appartment of her mothers'. When they called, he kept pressing the issue and she admitted it. So there was no real 'Gotcha!' moment. She just admitted it.
My friend had been shitting on her for years and made her feel small. And then he had the gall to cry and b***h and moan when she left, even though he told her she should leave.
I'd be dishonest if I said I didn't have some joy when I saw his home looked like a pigstie and he couldn't even look for his own food and clothing. "So where is this infamous b***h now?" Of course now he's looking for a new woman who will handle everything for him just like his momma did. I feel nothing but resentment for him. He's learned nothing from what has happened. No self reliance nor pride. Some men are just fricking morons. Surprises me he can even put on his drawers in the morning.
If I sound a bitter, it's because I am.
> My friend had been shitting on her for years and made her feel small. And then he had the gall to cry and b***h and moan when she left, even though he told her she should leave.
This is extremely common, the midwit post is to say “you don’t know what you have till it’s gone” but the truth is it is just humans default to complain.
>drawers
Based black man posting on racist Cinemaphile.
I cleaned up his house in the beginning too. Because I'm a good friend. One time he told me not to touch things and I did exactly as he asked. It turned into a hoarder's house in two weeks. Filth everywhere: beer cans, clothes, ashtrays, ashes, etc. I was just gloating. "You told me not to touch it." Now he seems a little more appreciative of what I did for him.
Went to get dog food for him too, since the misses ran away with the car. 20 euros. I've had to wait for it for over a month. Asking him two times. Meanwhile he spends a shedload on coke and weed and booze. Those always get paid for instantly. I have to go crying about 20 euros for fricking dogfood. I must be pretty low on his list of priorities. So yeah, that's another privilige revoked. He can go get his own dogfood. On foot. I don't give a shit.
You are a Cuck
I've known him for thirty years. But yes, maybe it's time to cut some dead weight. Nobody's taking care of me, and I manage 'fine', so why should I be anyone else's maid?
>know him for 30 years.
I guess that is okay then. We all need friends.
>playing that game for that long
holy shit get some self respect you fricking moronic cuck
fricked up but very funny
You'd never see this on Columbo. It was that in combination with the jacuzzi too. He told me when you have sex in the jacuzzi, the water gets dirty in a certain way. The water had recently been refreshed and when he got home, the water was that way. Probably algaes and stuff, how would I know? So he had his suspicions that there had been sex in the jacuzzi in his abscence. It might just have been him just getting paranoid, but I suppose it's possible. But the stubble one is funny yeah.
even the thought of situation makes me nervous so probably would have problems getting hard
hogtie her and use her holes
I wish my parents did that
Maybe I'd have turned out normal if my parents had done this for me
I'd pay her to frick them instead
But I did have breakfast
Cinemaphile would either complain about her being walled or something about a "thousand wiener stare" and then proceed to remain a virgin.
I'm 28 and never even kissed a girl, been on a date, or touched a boob
Why?
because he never did those things
it's not that great anyways
44 here lol.
Did you know that sex work is completely legal in Australia and New Zealand? You can go there and get your rocks off without sending up huge red flags like a trip to Reno or Amsterdam would.
and I could go fishing... hmmm an interesting proposition
What are some cheaper destinations? The journey there seems too expensive, and their economies are too good compared to my country's.
Southeast Asia (Thailand/Vietnam), although you will raise red flags especially if you're older. If you were 20 you might be able to convince people you're just going to party and go to the beach, but at 44 people will know you're going to bang. If you're comfortable with that.
you could also just get a prostitute wherever you live, you don't have to travel somewhere it's legal if you're not afraid of getting caught....
I'm not that anon. I'm 29. Just thought I might ask. I fear that in SEA I will end up scammed or worse. How safe is it?
sorry late reply, doubt youre still here but SEA is generally very safe. getting scammed is the biggest thing you have to worry about, but just keep a cool head and you should be able to see through most scams. violent crime and theft is very rare. it's probably the safest part of the world I've been to, one of the only places I felt totally safe walking around all hours of the night.
Germany if you're in Europe.
While the travel to Germany sounds cheap, the economy point stands. What are the prices like?
200 euro for an hour is the standard across most of the EU
I couldn't do it. I'd want some smalltalk before at least. I won't hire a prostitute unless I can hire her for the night. What's the point of a quick in and out like it's fricking McDonalds or taking a shit? I'd want the girlfriend experience for one night at least. But that'll cost you around 1500. Lower end. So it's just not worth the hassle.
> the girlfriend experience
This is even more pointless cause you'll know she's doing it for the money, isn't attracted to you and would much rather be doing almost anything else. If you're looking for literally anything beyond physical pleasure and the arousal from looking at her you're gonna be disappointed.
Of course it's about the money. But just coming through the door, whipping your dick out and put it in, nut, and leave just doesn't sound fulfilling.
It's not, you shouldn't do it. But neither is the fake GFE bullshit which you also shouldnt do.
So what are my options then? Just stick to my left hand as per usual?
If you want actual intimacy the only way to it is through an actual relationship with a woman that you're not paying.
>its legal to frick prostitutes in multiple countries
>country i live it keeps trying to make it illegal to go on vacation, frick prostitute and come back
It's never too late, but also bear in mind it's massively overrated once the novelty wears off.
Have faith, I thought I would never get married but met someone at 28 and got married at 30 and life is great.
Have less faith lol
Same age. I made out with many hot b***hes in my teens and even got a girl naked once in a car where the windows steamed up but never completed the act and then had a mental break and have been an Emily Dickinson-style homebody ever since. Weird mix of experienced and incel lol
>had a mental break
Wat happen
Long story. But in short I was already nearly institutionalized in my teens once and was always balanced on a knife's edge, then family drama/ignorantly excessive coffee consumption (think 3 pots a day) led to a psychotic break and week-long panic attack randomly incited by the trailer for Mama (2013) ?. Was bed-ridden briefly and convalescent for years with schizoid symptoms by which time I had lost all my friends and social progress.
I'm the same age with the same stats and have never held a conversation with a woman who was not a medical professional or relative. My total speaking time with female peers is probably less than 15 minutes across my entire lifespan.
Why are there so many incel spergs especially in USA where women there are giant prostitutes?
Hypergamy.
Both have the same root cause: extreme alienation in the family unit and esrly exposure to pornography. It turns girls into sex-obsessed prostitutes and boys into sex-obsessed incels
women being giant prostitutes actually means they all frick the same handful of Chads, not everybody who walks by
you unironically just have to have basic hygiene and conversation skills in order to get laid, its never been this easy
>conversation skills
Well shit. There go my chances.
>its never been this easy
People have also never been this socially inept nor has social media and porn been this prominent. It may seem easy, but psychologically people are fricked up
people used to sell farm yard animals for pussy. it used to be easier
she has a very hot voice as well
I haven't gotten an erection in 3 years so at least I'm safe from ever losing my wizard powers
How
I'd have to pass, it'd be different if I got to pick the woman but I don't want to frick the prostitute my parents think I'd like
butehole
I've had sex with multi women including hookups off dating apps, but I still feel like a virgin who's afraid to approach women.
Kopaka was the best one
im more of a lewa guy
For me it was the blue bionicle. The woman one. For sex purposes.
"You aren't white"
If she’s going to stick her butt in my face like that, then I won’t really be aroused. Especially after seeing her suplex a grown ass man and punch a b***h in the coochie.
I remember there was a famous tv judge in Italy (now he's dead) in one episode he told the audience how he lost his virginity because his father brought him to prostitutes when he was 14 or 15.
I wish I could find that clip, damn it.
he fricking smells that shit and she just gives him a disgusted face because all he knows is the fricking meme
Guven most modern entertainment, I genuinely thought the kid was gonna come out as gay or something
>ok
Ruin it by telling her to fart on me
>Whatever they're paying you, it's not enough
>Unleash The Kraken
Straight to anal
We can split the money and you don't have to sleep with me.
I would do whatever JLaw told me to do
Sex havers, how do I trick a girl I'm not a virgin if by some miracle I somehow convince her to go the bedroom? Almost wizard and don't even know how to unhook a bra, put on a condom, or insert benis into bagina without missing the hole (is it harder to aim from the back?)
>unhook a bra
you have to braindead to not be able to do this even without ever having done it
>put on a condom
same as above but you could just do it once before hand i guess
>insert benis into bagina without missing the hole
when she's on her back put your dick near the top of the mound/on top of the clit and drag it down till you feel the hole. when she's doggy do the opposite
the thing that will actually give you away is if you're dogshit at kissing if you're kissless and your stroke game/rhythm
>if you're dogshit at kissing if you're kissless and your stroke game/rhythm
What can be done about that?
for the former nothing for the latter you could get an ona hole and practice. i did that before i lost my virginity. it's unbelievably embarrassing and pathetic though.
>it's unbelievably embarrassing and pathetic though.
Never done it and I completely disagre. Have at it if you think it will help. Don't let homosexuals like this or women shame you. Especially women with their 12 inch dildos and frick machines.
sex chad here my last encounter
>tell girls im a virgin
>she doesnt believe me
>"trust me"
>she trusts me
>i role play pretend that i dont know what im doing
>she does all the work for me
>a little time goes by
>i fake that im about to come
>pull out and suck/handjob my dick
>"let me try something"
>lift her off her feet, one hand on each ass cheek
>pump her up
>"Omg i knew it"
>throw her onto the bed
>double piston into submission
>exhausted
>"you're an butthole"
>problem?
show a little assertiveness and you'll blend right in
That's the most cringeworthy shit i've ever heard.
God gave us liquor for a reason
Call my dad to check he's not pranking me again
>How would Cinemaphile react to this situation?
have her frick me cowgirl style and nut deep inside her, impregnating her and forcing us to get married.
How much will I regret losing my virginity to a hooker?
It will never happen otherwise.
Probably not at all, the biggest disappointment will most likely be how unremarkable it feels. I remember when I got my dick sucked the first time I was in genuine shock at how mid it felt. Same thing happened when I stuck it in her. I'm sure its better without a condom but my biggest impression from losing my virginity was that it was a huge disappointment from a what-it-feels-like-on-your-dick POV.
You still shouldn't do it though but trying to tell self-defeatists that they can in fact get laid is an exercise in futility so w/e
Is it worse than jerking off? If you jerk off since puberty is it hard to cum from a vegana or a mouth?
If the girl is really good at sucking dick its better than jerking off but that's pretty rare. veganal sex with a condom feels worse than jerking off imo. But theres more to it than just physical, the psychological aspect of having a soft, hopefully attractive girl that's deriving pleasure from what you're doing is validating on a primal level.
>If you jerk off since puberty is it hard to cum from a vegana or a mouth?
I can't speak generally but I've never busted from a blow job and I really need to jackhammer to bust from pussy
Very much so. When I frick, I do it for hours, and most women don’t actually want that.
Is it true women get insecure and self esteem problems if you can't cum with them instead of thinking you're a sex god?
No, they just claim your dick is broken
It feels better than just jerking off but not that much better. First time having sex I could barely stay erect and certainly couldn't cum, but I was jerking off at least twice a day to some weird shit. I learned that I had to abstain from jerking off for a while before having sex if I wanted to cum, and still I was lasting a abnormally long time.
A lot of us would kill to have your problem rather than the reverse
What, lasting a long time? It's really not that great. After a half hour or so I just wanted to cum but couldn't. It's also pretty embarrassing when the woman is tired and ready for it to be over and you still haven't gotten off. There were still times I didn't cum at all during sex and had to go jerk myself off to avoid getting blue balls.
>Probably not at all, the biggest disappointment will most likely be how unremarkable it feels.
If that's it, I'm prepared for being disappointed in that way that at least
>You still shouldn't do it though but trying to tell self-defeatists that they can in fact get laid is an exercise in futility so w/e
Realism isn't self-defeatism
>Probably not at all, the biggest disappointment will most likely be how unremarkable it feels.
This was me. Lot of build up and anticipation, then when it happened I was mostly just silently frustrated with the girl because I knew Id be having more fun if she sat in the corner and I finished myself off. People tell me that sex with somebody you love feels as amazing as how sex is presented in movies, and I choose to believe that, but certainly casual sex is boring and not as good as a mediocre wank.
Not at all. Sex isn't transcendental, it's a physical action. Just wear a condom and ofc no kissing
I hope we get new JLaw nudes for the 10 year anniversary. We were teased those 2 pics a few years ago.
Yes plz
The shorts are just so white trash. Not even remotely sexy at all.
Yall itt having lame sex is all I'll say
Tell her to turn around cause I last like 2-20 seconds from the back unless I’m shitfaced t. honesty is the best policy
Daily reminder that if you have ever or would ever use a prostitute you don’t belong on Cinemaphile.org. Knowers know.
>The Cinemaphile fats that actually HAVE had sex swearing it's not even great actually
Wow I wonder if that's because the two people involved are fat
I would poke her butthole with my finger while saying “brap brap” and laughing to myself while doing it
>want to hire a hooker
>but instead of straight up fricking, I just want to snuggle, make out, eat her out and make her cum
>eat out a hooker
please reconsider
That's why I haven't done it yet. Because everyone just say you have to use a condom, so I assume they aren't tested that often? I couldn't care less if there's spunk of someone else there, I just don't want a some flesh melting disease.
So if a can't kiss, lick and suck my spunk out of her butthole, what's the fricking point? Might as well buy and microwave a onahole.
if you insist, pay up for a high class escort
Are they really safe tho? I get this picture in my head that normal hookers have a mid % chance of skin/genitalia related STIs, but escorts a high % chance of literal AIDS.
That's what I expect, and I'm really interested in everything but benis in lasagna in sex, so it really do fell pointless.
But can they can cum more than once, like no refractory shit? That sounds awesome.
feels the same anyways. was my first thought when putting it in after a decade of sex toys
As a rule, you will either make a hooker cum in the first 2 minutes of foreplay or not at all
they're either crazy-sensitive sex addicts who love orgasms and have many every time they frick, or endurance players who have lost all sensation and pleasure from sex, period. There are no in-betweens
Take the Plan-B out of your check, I'm going in raw. Check 'em.
more manly than that disgusting israelite
I would raw dog that b***h immediately
Have sex
make me homosexual
Gameboy but I'd try to sneak some chocolate cake when she wasn't looking.
are there kiss teachers? like, you pay them to basically make out with you?
any decent escort will make out with you or teach if you ask.
key word
>decent
I guess, but I was thinking something less sexual, more like a dance instructor, sounds hotter to me.
if you want to make out with your dance instructor you better up your ohio rizz
The problem is that I don't seek any kind of relationship because I don't know how to kiss.
WHERE IS MY KISS INSTRUCTOR GODDAMMIT
>WHERE IS MY KISS INSTRUCTOR GODDAMMIT
Is it really this bad these days? I had one my first year of college, an attractive female friend who would help me to practice kissing. I had known her a few years, learned what she found attractive, and looksmaxxed in that way. It was the mid 2000s so that just meant wearing tight shirts and growing out my hair, dressing like a hipster. Easy.
I actually did this with a few female friends in college and got really good at sex and making out. Read a lot of books on it too.
You apparently don't have a charitable female friend who is nice looking available to you. Try finding one.
If unavailable, and you find yourself in a situation where a woman wants you to kiss her for real, here are some tips from an oldfren:
Don't fricking swoop, approach slowly
Floss regularly so your teeth are clean and you don't smell like gum blood
Carry gum or long lasting breath mints that don't have sucralose bc no one wants the shits on a date
Drink lots of water
Chapstick so lips feel nice. You can also use moisturizer on your lips if they're insanely chapped for a quick fix. Just be mindful your lips don't taste like moisturizer right before kissing.
Move slow and do what feels good
Don't slobber
Don't use your teeth
Extremely gentle biting is OK tho if it seems fun and purposeful
Don't shove tongue in
Gentle lip sucks
LISTEN and try to blend with what she's doing. You're both kissing so really 6oure reacting to what she wants.
ASK WHAT SHE LIKES. You can kiss for a few seconds and be like, hey are you into more or less tongue? What do you like? While kissing her neck.
You don't need a fricking kiss coach also. Kisses don't feel good unless there's passion. The deconstructed physical experience is just strange. There has to be chi moving back and forth. It's a conversation and has a beginning middle and end and should crescendo.
Make sure you actually like her passionately.
>First sexual experience nets you at least 3 STDs
Why are they like this
>mfw reading about HPV
>virgin with ED
even a hooker couldn't save me at this point, rip
and yes even if I stop jacking off for a long period of time it doesn't fix it
unless you are 40+, chronically obese, heart disease, medicated or similar, it is most likely psychological and CAN be fixed.
I'm ignoring my ex-gf that wants to cheat on her boyfriend so I can get drunk and watch clips of Michael Jackson from the 1980's.
could have may have a sweeter taste than do have
real homie
Start licking that crack through her shorts
; ) finally a good answer
it was a good movie
They paid me, I guess I frick him.
imagine being such a loser you have to brag about having had sex to teenagers, fatsos, spastics, pedos, addicts, trannies and other freaks...
imagine the type of life such people live
imagine the average hoes they frick, congrats for banging your 5/10 bro
nice achievement
a-a-a-t least i-i had s-sex incel!
Is the hooker scene better where it is legal? Becuase it is so underground here there is no real review system that works, so it’s such a mystery bag. I’ve had pretty sweet ones that wanted to help me relax and actully seemed loving, and then you have the ones that dead fish and stare at the wall.
I'm a 32 year old kissless virgin and I'm terrified of the concept of sex. I know I'll never have it anyway but it legitimately terrified me to think about fumbling around and clearly having no clue what I'm doing. I don't even have any standards. I think most women are cute. Anything below obese I just call them thick and want to frick them too. It's over.
that sucks, im a virgin but i have good looks, so the only thing that stops me from getting pussy is the fact i'm a neet but that's ok for me.
fricking is literally programmed into you lmao
*raping is probably programmed into you
ftfy
how the frick do you even figure out where you need to put it if no one tells you? maybe for animals but humans by default have no idea what sex is and how to do it, just remember yourself when you was 4yo
you should desensitize and also get your T checked
t. fellow in similar position but for different reasons
I am horny all the time but I just can't have meaningful relationships with anyone plus poor social skills.
yeah i probably have nonexistent t. im also horny all the time. i stare at every woman i see. i look at the ass of every girl i see and think about squeezing or smacking her ass. but like you, i have no social skills and ashamed about my pathetic life to even try talking to anyone.
if you are that horny i dont get how you could fold when it comes down to it. like, just grab her ass and insert between her legs. after foreplay, of course
A really beautiful 17 or 18 year old girl walked by me the other day and she was wearing those little soccer shorts like Umbros and her entire left cheek was exposed because her backpack was holding up a part of her shorts. I wish I took a picture
also i practically get hard from just cuddling so idk how people are afraid of folding
my problem is not that but getting that far in the first place
Extreme embarrassment and a good nut
>33 YEAR OLD WOMAN PRETENDS SHE IS HOT AND 19 AGAIN
>take cialis
>face gets so flushed I look like a clown
thanks
>all the opportunities you lost when young because you were afraid of diseases, pregnancy, getting caught, religion, relationship, or being picky as hell
what opportunities?
Like a girl strip naked, sit on a table spread eagle, pulling her labia apart and saying: "Here Anon, please frick me!"
It was in my peak christcuckery phase. This shit eats me up inside
lmao, my pointless christianity arc of character development has also ruined a few hookups for me
dont worry about it, there will be others
Nah, that was 20 years ago, that kind will never happen again.
If only you knew. Kids are pretty horny, I had some fricked up friends. It's kinda ironic that I ended up as a virgin, after all the shit I went through.
Well, good night lads.
funny how if you're an attractive guy you might be a virgin but accept your current state, while if you're a uggo you might think somehow you're owed sex
a woman tends to give in either when the man is more interesting than her peers and interests of choice or, and this is the most frequent case, when she's exhausted with her peers and interests of choice.
Prostitutes are gross people. I would decline and ask for a refund. If she fails to provide a refund I will leave a bad review.
This movie was excellent. One of my favorites of the last decade.
yeah i liked it a lot too. had a nice ending
paying for a prostitute to take away your virginity is similar to child abuse in terms of power dynamics, no wonder some prostitutes refuse to accept it.
>Alright, cool.
>*unzips dick*
Some "transman" has a total wide-on for me. "He" is not on testosterone, and basically just looks like a qt zoomer tomboy. But I know if I frick "him" and ever hang out with him in public, "he" will insist on me calling "him" my "boyfriend" or whatever and say I'm "gay". I just wanna crush that zoomie tomboy vegana. Is it worth it? Will I look like more of a gay if I go through with it, or less of a gay? Will I look like more of a gay if I don't? Again, this is just some fricking fine 20 year old that wants my gross creepy millenial dick who happens to wear dude clothes and has a dude name, but is throwing xirself at me. Wat do
frick it i'm not the average guy here but it's been 10 years just frick dude frick it man just do it before they come over and say no JUST DO IT RUN NOW DO IT MAN
She presents as a He, so its gay to frick Him. He has a pussy, and not fricking a pussy is gay. Caring what others think is gay as all hell too.
Just go full gay already. If you don't enjoy it at some point (let's say he stars taking T and getting hairy or something ) just say you really tried, it was kinda nice but you finally figured out you're ain't geh in the end.
ez
Yeesh, so I'm gay if I do and gay if I don't? Frick pride month, this is worse than black history month, at least if a black chick ever hit on me I wouldn't have to start jogging.
>"ermmm I'm scared to frick tight young mental illness pussy because I'm worried what people might think about me"
Sounds like u might be gay for reals
Save her. She might see reality if you can frick her crazier than she is now full circle back to sane. Do not capitulate to sociocultural demands. She probably barely has irl friends anyway and cos playing as gay won't come up. Her family will love and be thankful for you. She will want to fit in with your more normal older friends. Help her figure out who she actually is aside from an ersatz identity. She doesn't realize yet that there's more to her than being trans.
But only if you like her. If you just want to frick then stay away. It can go really really badly. Like not being allowed to disagree on something or she'll kill herself. Or worrying she's dead if you haven't heard from her in 48 hours. There's also her telling your friends you raped her.
Have fun, good job if you fix her and it becomes just a phase that she laughs off later in life.
Well to be fair, I was going to rape and kill her anyway. I just don't want to look like a gay if I get caught
You fricking moron. There is no "he" that's a person born with a vegana, ergo a woman. Hard frick her like there is no tomorrow. You might even turn her straight
I'm not even gonna bother because I'm physically unfit to have sex, I cum in seconds and my dick hurts if I get it up a second time and I still cum fast even on a second time. it's just game over man, can't even jerk my wiener nowadays cause it takes longer to clean it up than to cum
>virgin in my 30s
>have no standards but have never tried in my life, never even been on a date
>because ive been a pathetic miserable failure since going into high school
>fail at everything in life, socially, career, not living with my parents
>self hatred so extreme that it cant be measured
>self esteem completely nonexistent
>so depressed and miserable i can barely keep eyes open throughout the day
>wish i could talk to women like the ones i see on the train everyday but then i think about how i would have to reveal how pathetic my life is and realize its worthlessand avoid everyone
my only hope is legit prostitution or someone like the plot of the movie. but then again my paretns dont really give a shit about how ive ended up so who cares.
my parents treat me like a slave and buy me dead mens clothes from thrift shops for .25 and chase away every woman that talks to me, faster than my awkwardness and autism do.
they made fun of me for talking to girls and called me a gay. yet it was cool for my brother to be fricking middle schoolers in his mid 20s.
We are the designated retirement plan. If you have a job, fricking vanish ASAP
theyve been dead.
Hmm, hire a priest or summ then
you should **** them
I could have a non-hag do that to me and I'd probably just yell at her to move so she feels bad. I'm past the point of caring; I just want prostitutes to suffer.
I would mindbreak her with my big wiener until she does it for free.
My uncle hired a hooker to seduce my spaz cousin with MS who's in a motorized wheelchair on his 21st birthday. The hook was she couldn't let him know she was a prostitute and had to pretend she was all into him.
And we had to fricking pitch in to help, to get him out of the chair and into the bed, and then like make sure he didn't choke and shit.
He 100% fell for it and thought he'd picked up some chick on his own merits, so he started flirting with every fricking woman he saw, and fricking raw too, licking his lips and shit, saying the filthiest pickup lines. He even goosed my girlfriend with the six-pack attack.
You've never really lived until you've heard a crippled spaz moan like he's dying as he ejaculates into a townie hooker with breasts sagging to her navel. That room smelled like a fish cannery afterward.
>begone Hag
ok, get that wiener out then
have sex
I'm on the almost had sex but said no, got nervous train
I tried getting a good woman but got too emotionally involved and ended up heart broken
I give up, I refuse to even try
i dont copulate with prostitutes that have their anus on the webs
>okay can we please take it slow and I would REALLY love if I can go twice because I'm gonna bust really soon the first time
she's not into me i've got no problems saying this
11 hour thread bumped by the same troony.
I'm drunk as hell, just shot a ton of heroin after I literally strangled a prostitute to death in order to get my money back. Frick you. I am not that anon. I am become Vishnu.
Post dead prostitute boobs
Slap her ass to remove it from my face and keep playing videogames.
Alright get your girlwiener out. Slava Ukraini.
Not a virgin, still wouldn't.
I just say for her to leave me alone and repay parents for this.
lost my virginity at 33 to a hot 26 year old. rejected another girl just a week before that.
I'm Australian and I've fricked hundreds of prostitutes and a dozen or so homeless. I've creampied a dead wallaby and a wombat on the side of the road. I have herpes and hepatitis B. Been charged twice with public indecency and flashing elderly women.
My entire existence is extreme sex and borderline rape. I've been pissed on by the homeless and shot up with heroin in a sex swing.