HOLY SHIT IT ACTUALLY LOOKS GOOD. IS KEVIN BACK BROS?

HOLY SHIT IT ACTUALLY LOOKS GOOD. IS KEVIN BACK BROS?

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous
    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous
      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Oh I now understand why he wears a mask.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Kevin Smith NFTs?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        why is he always making that face in the bottom right? i swear nearly every time I see him on Cinemaphile he's making that exact expression

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      what a fricking cuck

    • 2 years ago
      Iceman

      Batman wears a cowl. Considering the scope of Kevin Smith's impact of pop culture as a whole I feel like he should be shot for fricking something like that up.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        It's even worse than some of you might think. Kevin Smith actually wrote Batman comics himself. He was the writer of the notorious story where Batman confessed to pissing his pants while on a mission

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Nevermind that he actually owns a comic book store and had a podcast dedicated ENTIRELY to Batman discussion.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      errrrmmmmm actually Batman wears a cowl which kinda covers up everything except the mouth

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        This was my first thought as well, is this even the real Kevin "comic book superfan" Smith of 1990s fame? Part of me feels like Smith died during that heart attack and was replaced by some other spirit. This current shriveled, totally ignorant and charmless cuck was not the person we all knew and loved.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      It may be good, but i won't watch it because of this obnoxious moron here

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Batman doesn’t wear a mask he wears a cowl and it doesn’t cover his nostrils or mouth what the frick is he talking about?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      he's a fat frick who had like 10 heart attacks, of course he's deathly afraid of the coof. I'm suprised he even leaves his house at all.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Maskless guy looked at me like I was an idiot.
      Probably because you are.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      He's such a fricking homosexual now and I don't understand.
      In the 90s, he was known for his sarcastic wit and calm, dry delivery. He would even attack people in Hollywood.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        As people age they either become more and more based, or become more and more cringe

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Tell me about Kevin! Why does he wear the mask!

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Never move to California kids.

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >IT ACTUALLY LOOKS GOOD
    no it doesn't you fricking simpleton

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >lose weight
      >still morbidly obese
      impressive

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    He might be the most insufferable person alive

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah but clerks is funny

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    It certainly looks a lot better than I thought it would.

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I can't believe I used to listen to his batman podcast how cringe was I?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      you were probably a lot happier back then

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Pretty cringe if you listened to it over Tell Em Steve Dave.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Frick yeah, TESD was great back in the day.

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >hurr hurr meta
    I'm so sick of post-post modernism

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Clerks 1 was based off his real life time working at that very convenience store. If anything at least this will be the last clerks and will wrap it up in a neat Bow.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        They fricking wrapped it up in 2, this is just "Jason Mewes and I need money and I need more vehicles for my talentless wife and daughter"

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Don't you mean " my talentless wife & Jason's daughter" ?

          • 2 years ago
            CreepyThinMan

            >Don't you mean " my talentless wife & Jason's daughter" ?

            100% this.

            That is not Smith's kid. His ugly, jug eared horsefaced wife cucked him with mewes. She leeched onto Smith in the late 90's when he was riding high and she actually tho(ugh)t that she couldget close to Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, but when she realized they weren't going to ditch Gyneth Paltrow and Wynona Rider for her bawd ass, she fricked Mewes and pretended it was Smith's kid while forcing him to put her disgusting visage in his movies.

            There's a shot in one of Smith's stand up videos where she's practically hanging off Mewes.

            Smith is a cucked homosexual sellout piece of shit!!!FACT!!!

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              >There's a shot in one of Smith's stand up videos where she's practically hanging off Mewes.
              Show it to us, I want to see it. And yes, Harley is 100% Mewes daughter.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Mewes could use the money. Smith is nowhere close to being broke, he's rich as frick - the Netflix deal alone he signed a couple years ago is more money than your entire family will make, total. Plus he's got the comic book store money, has been making TV money for that shit He Man series and all the other schlock he's been making. He was podcasting for years because he couldn't get backing for movies, but he hasn't needed money since the 90's.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            For a mediocre filmmaker that made a handful of fun films almost 25 years ago he has done a fantastic job at remaining relevant. He was tailor made for nerd culture and it just so happened to boom at the exact moment his film making career went kaput.
            Smith is really one of the best storytellers I've ever heard. When it comes to telling a story, verbally speaking and explaining himself and details, the dude has a God given gift.. It's crazy that none of that translates to his films anymore.

            I do think smoking weed has done more damage to his ability than he'll ever admit to. He was at least somewhat competent at writing/directing films back in 2010. His last "old" Kevin Smith movie was Zack & Miri.
            His last competent film was Cop Out.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              >When it comes to telling a story, verbally speaking and explaining himself and details, the dude has a God given gift
              Apart from the first Clerks, those "Evening with Kevin Smith" spoken word things were probably the best work he's ever done.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >meta
      That word sends me into an autistic rage. That and the phrase “foreshadowing”, I want to strangle the fedora poster whenever I hear it.

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    It looks like a spliced together fan film. Especially with that music.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      What do you mean, all his movies are like that

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Anything looks better than Clerks 2

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Shut up, you porch monkey.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Wasn't great, but Dawson's breasts bouncing while she danced on the roof was damn near cinematic history.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I would like to have sex with this woman.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >never go ashoka to mouth

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          This gif never fails to make me laugh. Thanks for posting it friend.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        literally walked out of the theater during this cringe shit

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          I walked out just before the credits because I couldn' take anymore.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          You are the homogay

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I would like to have sex with this woman.

        >never go ashoka to mouth

        This gif never fails to make me laugh. Thanks for posting it friend.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        For me it's her shaved slit in whatever-the-frick film that was that I didn't bother watching but have fapped to the scene from several times.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Alexander?

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Trance (2013)

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              She’s pretty hot.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              literal fridge

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Clerks 2 is Smith's best film by a mile

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    why is the original one in black & white, turned it off after that

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Money

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >why is the original one in black & white

      >The film's shoestring budget is part of the reason it was shot in black and white. A number of different types of lighting were used, and this would have required a lot of post production to resolve issues related to the varying color temperatures. With black and white, this isn't a problem

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      They had to shoot the movie during the night. Either because the store wouldn't allow shooting during the day or because Kevin worked or both. That's why they also included a plot point about hanging a large sheet of white cloth in front of the windows to prevent natural light from coming in and making all indoor lightning be artificial lightning from lamps and such.

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I'll watch it just because I love Dante and Randall as characters. I like the concept too but let's face it will likely be pretty shit.

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >no black people
    This movie is racist!

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Dantes girlfriend is some sort of mutt

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        shes puerto rican dumbass

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Brazilian you fricking biggot.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >Actor, Advocate Rosario Isabel Dawson was born on May 9, 1979, in Brooklyn, New York to Patrick C. Harris, of American Indian and Irish ancestry, and Isabel Celeste Dawson, a writer and singer of Afro Cuban and Puerto Rican ancestry.

            Where the frick dod your autistic ass pull "Brazilian" from?

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              >Where the frick dod your autistic ass pull "Brazilian" from?
              Her waxed vagene, sir. Do the needful.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      There were some Black folk in the trailer.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      If there is ZERO woke pandering I’ll go see it. But something tells me there will be.
      Can’t have WHITE MALES be successful characters anymore.

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >a sequel? what am i a hack?
    >kevin smith winks at the audience
    at least hes self aware

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Self awareness and meta references, the ultimate statement of the untalented and uncreative

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      They're the Kevin Smith signature tropes, shut up

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Everytime I see Kevin's face I think of cuckoldry

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Has there ever been a generation more leeched off of than the 90's? I miss the 90's too but for fricks sake why can't we just make good shit now

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Because no one wants to admit why that old stuff was actually good. Anything new has to be made according to modern trends, which is to say it has to be shit.
      Would a young film maker come along now and make a film about men being men, making crude jokes, generally not being politically correct at all? Probably not.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      the fricking 80s?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Everything original is gone. American pop culture and its subcultures are not an expanding concept, it's finite. Lasted from the 50's to the early 2000s. Now we're transitioning into the post-modern age.

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Rosario wall'd hard

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Nah, she's still extremely hot

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >dante and randal are the only ones looking good to this day

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I can't get over Dante looking like DarkSydePhil's twin (or vice versa)

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          The lesson to be learned is you can get old, but never get fat and old.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          DSP has the face and body of Dante and the voice of Randall, it's crazy

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >chrischan the movie

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Proves that Smith also sucks at casting, since that Elias guy hasn’t had any work since Clerks 2.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          He just casts his friends, not everyone is as lucky as Sam Raimi and just happens to have Bruce Campbell as a bff.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        what a frick they even got lotr kid back

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Uh, he wasn’t doing much…

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >Elias has shrunk 5 inches
        How?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Objective proof men hit the wall just as hard, if not harder, than roasties. Btfo

  17. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    wasn't there one already or did i only see a dream or something

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      nvm i was thinking of jay and silent bob reboot

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        He was planning on doing clerks 3 like 10 years ago but one of the two guys was done with acting

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          The guy playing Randall didn't want to come back because the money they were offering was shit. Eventually, after Smith's heart attack, he reconsidered.

  18. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Is he seriously doing the meta movie thing for like the third fricking time

  19. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >what is this, a tinder date?
    why wasnt the line "what is this, a date?"?. why add tinder if it makes no difference. is a tinder date somehow different than a regular date. does this add to the comedic value? i suspect its a shitty way for kevin to attract zoomers who dont give a shit about him or his piece of shit filmography

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Tinder dates are largely about getting to the fricking, normal dates traditionally used to mean you wouldn't get action until like the second/third date.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      They're just old an out of touch.

      Tinder dates are largely about getting to the fricking, normal dates traditionally used to mean you wouldn't get action until like the second/third date.

      Sort of, there are apps that are more in tune to hookup and there are some that are less. It's pretty standard middle of the road being the most popular. Dates in general are more for hookups nowadays.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      A date is dinner and getting to know someone.

      A tinder date is drive through coffee and a discussion on who's hosting.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        k boomer

  20. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    what's shoe money?

  21. 2 years ago
    Anonymous
    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Every dog has its day.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous
  22. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Clerks is the only good movie Kevin has made, no wonder he keeps revisiting it?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Mallrats.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah but avoid the directors cut at all cost, it fricking rapes the whole pacing of the thing by adding a stupid fricking long ass dumb intro that has nothing to do with anything

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Didn't even know a director's cut existed. Not surprised though, Kevin Smith is very good at milking every bit of milk out of everything he does.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            its almost half an hour longer

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        mallrats is objectively his peak

        His objective peak is chasing amy actually, but good guess

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          You misspelled Dogma, but that's okay.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Dogma was ahead of its time. Nobody cared about it except niche groups of people. Then again that's probably all of kevin smith's movies.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      mallrats is objectively his peak

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      dogma tho

  23. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The 1979 segment in Clerks 2 legitimately made me feel hard, I don't think Kevin Smith is capable of kino like that anymore

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >randall staring off in the distance
      kino.

  24. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Kevin Smith admits he's a hack in the trailer
    kinda based

  25. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    PLEASE TELL ME WHYYYYY

  26. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Kevin Smith needs to retire

  27. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Very cringe.

  28. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    smith has made good movies but most of them are shit

  29. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    this should have been made 10 years ago and Randall should have been a rich CEO or something and Dante working at the store still with a family and kids

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Randall should have been a rich CEO or something and Dante working at the store still with a family and kids
      shit that would be pretty funny and depressing at the same time

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      No. Randall should be a famous YouTube movie reviewer, based off the interaction with that guy in Clerks 2. The setup was all there. Randall would have fit in perfectly with the rise of YouTube and schlubs like him getting rich and famous for being buttholes.

      But Smith doesn't step out of his little pot bubble these days, and failed making a dent on YouTube, so he won't bring that up. Instead he shits out a lame ass reframing of his own story, because he's got nothing else to work with.

      The dude had it all. His own production company, the Weinsteins backing him, big dick swinger in the early podcasting days, but he blew it. All of it. Now he just sucks dick to get scraps from Netflix and retreads his old shit.

      Some people peak early. Smith is one of them. He can exaggerated wink at us that he's making fun of himself, but I think the world has had just about enough of him.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >Randall should be a famous YouTube movie reviewer
        Holy shit, talk about something I didn't know I needed. That would have been incredible.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >Randall should be a famous YouTube movie reviewer, based off the interaction with that guy in Clerks 2
        Actually would've fit really fricking well.
        Could be an interesting plot point where Randall is becoming successful and financially independent from the convenience store he bought with Dante and for once Dante is feeling inferior and left behind by his friend who finally found his niche.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Yep. or have a "what have I become?" story with him becoming the kind of person he used to harass and make throw up. There's so much that could be done with that, but nooooo, we have to have a retread of Smith's life, even including the fricking heart attack.
          Hell, the story being the store being neglected because they both start a youtube channel fighting with each other over movies, get really successful but hate each other, and they lose sight of their roots and their freindship. Like Baseketball.

          Smith is too creatively bankrupt now. He's become what everyone accused him of in the ViewAskew forums that he based Strike Back on.

  30. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Rosario Dawson is in there for like 3 seconds
    I mean I guess with the Ashoka shit she's a big time actress now. Loved her in 2.

    I also loved this fricking soundtrack, poorman's easy listening Nirvana rocks.

  31. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    holy shit that looks terrible

  32. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I love prostitutes so much, bros

  33. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >dude our film is shit but we reference that with self depricating humour so it's ok!

  34. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Looks pretty good aside from Dante and Randall starting to get that old lady look, which I guess is just regular old people look, but with makeup somehow making it worse.

  35. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >All the guys look like a bowl of milk you found behind the radiator
    >Rosario Dawson still human Viagra

    How does she do it?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      yeah I'm not into grannies. you do you though.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      She's the only one with an acting career. Nobody else does.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      She seems like one of the most fun actors working. Like when a singer (I forget who) was filming a gonzo music video in London, she just happens to be passing and then joins in with the dancing.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      adrenochrome

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >In October 2019, Dedrek Finley, a trans man, filed a case in Los Angeles against Dawson and her family for alleged incidents involving discrimination, verbal abuse, misgendering, and physical assault. Finley had been employed as a handyman, living with the family, and had known them for decades.[26][27] Through their attorney, the Dawson family said they are "saddened and disappointed by these false and baseless allegations."[28] In August 2020, 18 of the 20 accusations, including those against Dawson herself, were voluntarily dropped by the plaintiff.[29] The remaining claims were dismissed by a Los Angeles Superior Court in May 2021.[30]

      By being based

  36. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Clerks 2 was dogshit

  37. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    failing upward never looked so pathetic.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I've sucked like 20
      I guess the movie doesn't age well. 37 isn't such a big deal anymore

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        nobody cares about how much wiener youve sucked, homosexual

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Sucking dick isn't gay if it's for your bros.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        nobody cares about how much wiener youve sucked, homosexual

        Sucking dick isn't gay if it's for your bros.

        Can I have a turn? :3

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I sucked 1 guy off once, and then I got a panic attack it gave me HIV for no reason (it didn't I got tested) and now I'm scared to ever do it again because it'll just lead to me panicking about getting aids

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          I wish you did get aids.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          If a guy sucked my dick, we'd be bros for life no question about it.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            That's kind of what I need, a bro that I can do normal friend shit with, but also whenever he gets horny he lets me suck his dick.
            I don't care for the romance shit, I just have thing for dicks for some reason

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              You sound like total bro material. I hope you find a friend like that.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            its called a brojob and its a bonding experience. remember to say no homosexual and fistbump

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          It's so hard to get aids that way... didn't you have any sexual education back then?

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >It's so hard to get AIDS that way.

            Who cares. It's because of the gay community being so flippant about HIV/AIDS that it's spread so much in the first place. Now HIV is just not a big deal. Modern medicine might save you today but viruses/bacteria evolves. Can't wait till you gays catch something you can't live long with.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              >hurr durr I hate the gays

              kek Is not like there's a masive AIDS spread due to gay blowjobs. wtf you'retalking about

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            my brain doesn't care that its hard to get it that way, it still made me panic

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        in a row?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous
  38. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    damn it looks fricking corny

  39. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    DUDE WEED

  40. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    If he never started smoking weed, would Kevin Smith's films have continued to get better and better? Seems like the moment he picked up the pipe the quality went off a cliff.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Nah, he had already made Jersey Girl before becoming a pot head. He has always been a hack.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        how bad is this? only kevin flick i haven't seen

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Judge for yourself

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            I'm so glad they stopped pretending she could act. And it's ironic Smith pretending he could direct did it.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            jesus fricking christ

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        He really had to put his face on the fricking cover, didn't he?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Probably not lol the guy just got old and isn't funny anymore. Happens all the time.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      He got one good movie out after Seth Rogan tunred him into a pothead, he got Red State done, which is the last thing he did with any quality. Everything else has been pure shit. But he was slipping before that, Jersey Girl really hurt his credibility, and was so bad the studio removed any references to Lopez being in it. Then he almost killed Rogan and Bank's careers with Zack and Miri. That's when he freaked out and "quit" and was just podcasting. That was his shot at the big time, and he blew it - and ruined his rep with Weinstein because he blamed it on marketing, not it being a mediocre at best movie.

      Smith wanted so bad to be a Pulp Fiction and could never accept he's just Mallrats.

  41. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Everyone looks so fricking old jesus christ

  42. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Looks fricking awful

  43. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Clerks was shit.
    >Clerks II was shit.
    >Clerks III will be shit.
    ;P

  44. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    name a more based scene

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      will he completely take it back in the next film?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      BABE YOU CANT TASTE RACISM

  45. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    is it me or is kevin now just making the sort of mawkish shit he used to mock? the new Jay and Silent Bob film was like this too

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      He had a near death experience and he smokes more pot than snoop dogg. His movies have changed.

  46. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Look better than what the original version of Clerks 3 was going to be, jay and silent bob accidentlly shooting Becky and Dante having to raise their deaf daughter alone, Randall standing in line of the Ranger Danger movie for most of the film, Dante sacrificing himself to stop a mass shooting and Randall adopting the deaf c**t. Absolute trash

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Good grief

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      this can't be real.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        It's not quite accurate. The leaks I remember, and looked up, are:

        >Dante is a single father, raising a deaf girl. The daughter and Randall are close/see eye-to-eye.

        Which, of course, would be Smith's daughter.

        >Jay and Silent Bob are featured throughout, intertwining and providing comic relief.

        >When we pick up Becky has already been accidentily killed at the hands of Jay and Silent Bob (vaguely described as mistaken breaking-and-entering shooting death?).
        Dawson wouldn't sign onto this script, and nobody would blame her.

        >Randall has set up a pop-up Quick Stop in The Mall parking lot, to capitalize on all the people camping out/waiting in line for the Ranger Danger movie premiere.

        Which is why Jeff wouldn't sign onto this script, he was sidelined for Dante and Smith's daughter.

        >Dante is diagnosed with cancer, given months to live and saves his daughter's life during a theatre shooting during the Ranger Danger premeire. Daughter is adopted by Randall.

        Yeah, that sounds like a funny stoner movie. Whew, Kevin lad.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Jesus wept. I'm so glad this shit didn't get made. I remember there was a script reading back in the day that wasn't released to the public so I image that's where these leaks come from?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          What the actual frick

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >saves his daughter's life during a theatre shooting during the Ranger Danger premeire.
          Should have been Silent Bob in his overcoat, having snapped after being forced to break Jay's scrawny little neck.

  47. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    wait do people actually hate clerks 2? i thought pretty much everyone agreed that its his best movie

  48. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Can't wait.

  49. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I'm tired of Kevin Smith movies but Randall is my husbando so I have no choice but to watch this

  50. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    d00d its so meta! That means its ironic when we just recycle all the same jokes and plotlines.
    BRAVO SMITH

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I don't have those now, and life was still better in the 90's.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      That image is full of shit. The world in general wasn't as insufferable back then as it was now, it was a friendlier and less obnoxious time to be alive, that's not to say it was a utopia but it was better than this.
      >LE GOVERMENTS WERE ACTUALLY EVIL BACK THEN TOO!!!!
      So what? Socially we were better off, all of us. Fricking racial harmony compared to what we have these days

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >Fricking racial harmony compared to what we have these days

        t. someone who lived in the suburbs and his understanding of race relations is probably from watching Fresh Prince episodes

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          and not an adult until 2007

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        We had hope we could change things back then, grew up and realized how hard and expensive it is to get into a position of any power.
        I have a theory some people are evolving in their brains. Despite society's best efforts to brainwash us into this weird WASP lifestyle more and more people are trying to live differently. I think that's why republican boomers are so openly trying to take over things now because they see they're losing control.
        At some point we need a mass civil disobedience to these archaic laws. Frick them, we don't want abortions illegal we don't want gays illegal so just ignore their laws.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          You sound like a moron. Abortions aren't illegal, neither is being gay. Grooming kids is illegal and being a prostitute and expecting the government to pick up the tab for your birth control is moronic.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah I'm not going to have a conversation with someone who has no idea how things actually work
            If you're so worried about grooming kids, stop. taking. them. into. churches. Actually punish your pedophiles instead of forgiving them because they said sorry.
            fricking hypocrites

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              its ok. Abortions being banned in mostly southern states means ~~*((our*~~)) plan to replace white people has just accelerated forward by 10 years.

              Once we make homosexuality a religion we can have gay prayers schools, and conversion camps at the taxpayers expense.

              Things are working better than ~~*((we*~~*~~ expected because chuds are moronic.

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              I don't go to church, dummy. I think LGBT shit and modern religions are also shit. Both groups touching kids doesn't make either one any better.

              The main difference between the two is that a priest isn't immediately offensive to all 5 senses like a troony is. You will NEVER be a woman.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >we don't want abortions illegal we don't want gays illegal
          I do though

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          excellent post

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        [...]

        You guys realize the Rodney king riots happened in the 90s right?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          What they really mean is white people in charge and in the media were not as cucked and there was still stuff free from that pathetic apologetic influence we have today.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Soi's always have this cope when it comes to nostalgia. They really cannot admit why the 90's or other decades were actually better because that would be "problematic"

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Why yes, the pre-Internet pre-9/11 world was much simpler.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Zoomers will cope forever knowing they will never have true nostalgia or any culture of their own. Their just prostitutes of technology and rebranded pop culture.

      Must suck haha

  51. 2 years ago
    Anonymous
  52. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I've been disappointed with every reboot since bill & ted. I'll wait for you guys to watch it I cannot waste hours of my life on something so anticlimatic again.

  53. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I don’t hold out much hope.

  54. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >a sequel? no way, i'm not a fricking hack

    was the only smile I had from this,not even a full laugh

    >remember the first movie
    is not a fricking joke

  55. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    nice of ben affleck to keep returning kevin's calls.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      without kevin smith he wouldnt have a career so im not surprised tbqh

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        You probably missed the decade or so where he WOULDN'T return Kevin's calls.

        Kevin made sure to bring it up every chance he got.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Like Ben has anything better to do these days.

  56. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    didnt the actor for Jay steal money from the actor of silent bob?

    Why the frick would you be associated with some shithead like that?

  57. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Looks like tame and censored dogshit, just like the new South Park. The first two Clerks were known for their offensive humor.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      how was the first one offensive?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Offensive to general audiences, not like woke offensive. Being offended meant something different back then.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Not that anon, but Clerks is well known as being a movie that was originally rated NC-17 due to the cursing and sexual jokes alone without any nudity or violence. An NC-17 rating is essentially a death sentence for the commercial success of a movie, so it was appealed on the grounds of freedom of speech to receive an R rating.

        https://www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-movie-reviews/clerks-104724/

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        They poked fun at homosexuals and bawds and also the shitty types of customers in general.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        a woman fricks a dead old man in a bathroom stall anon

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          thats pussy shit compared to what natural born killers had

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >Men would frick anything
        >Animal, mineral or vegetable
        >Where vegetable is a paraplegic
        >Yeah they're easier to catch
        for an example. Also everything Jay says the entire film.

  58. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    god I have never understood the appeal of Clerks LESS

    how the FRICK did anyone every sit through more than 10 minutes of any of these shitty fricking disasters they call "films"

  59. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    i'd kill for a rosario dawson mommy

  60. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Mehhhh idk boomer bros...it's feeling pretty forced. We were 16-20 when the second one came out.

  61. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >ben affleck went from being batman to cameoing in shitty kevin smith flicks

    snyder basically killed his career

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      its a payback flick because a friend says he owes him.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Nah, that was reboot.. Which was an absolute dumpster fire btw.. This coming from a life long Kevin Smith fan.

  62. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    If it doesn‘t have Rosario bouncy breasts and full frontal shaved vegana i‘m not interested

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      If the opening shot isn't her getting fricked by a donkey I'm shitting in a theater urinal and demanding a refund

  63. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Utter shit. The actors are 20 years too old, Jeff should have stayed retired or whatever the frick he was doing. He and the Dante actor are looking rough as frick. Smith has gone back to the well too many times, with nothing to show for it. That well is DRY motherfricker.

    Another Smith turd I'll completely ignore after hiting "post". Just retire, pothead. You haven't made anything worth watching since Red State.

  64. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >IT ACTUALLY LOOKS GOOD

    Does it really tho?

  65. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    kind of looks like shit but there were a few nice shots in the trailer, cinematography looks ok

  66. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >watch it
    >realize how old I am
    >how my good years are behind me
    >they weren't even that good
    >go home to empty apartment
    >sit alone in the dark and post on Cinemaphile

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      The whole point of the movie is that you're not too old to do this.

  67. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Not sure if you are trolling, grew up in a sheltered shithole, or legitimately moronic. You werent even a teenager in the 90s so I'm guessing your parents wouldnt let you listen to rap music or watch Fox.

  68. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >non pozzed white culture
    >post pic of band that has a coal burner in the first 10 seconds of their "Today" music video.
    anon, I....

  69. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I can only imagine the cringe.
    - gay/troony/blm pandering
    - le hip timely "internet culture" references
    - outdated soundtrack
    - references to crap from his Smodcast Extended Universe
    - MCU pandering
    - his daughter
    - his usual self-celebrating all positivity bullshit

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      You forgot the seething riposte for people ripping into that He-Man garbage.

  70. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    No it doesn't, it really doesn't

  71. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I used to love this fricker and his movies when i was younger. Find him now really stupid and hypocrite

  72. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I'm trying to find a quote about Kevin Smith from someone that said that every once in a while, israelites in Hollywood promote some nobody as a director to pretend to normal people that everyone can be become a director but as a joke they pick the dumbest moron they can and that Kevin Smith is one those. Anyone remember this?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Kevin Smith
      He's a joke in 2022 but back in the late 90's Smith was extremely influential in the industry. Neither Ben Affleck or Matt Damon have careers without Kevin Smith. And Good Will Hunting never sees the light of day.
      Smith and Harvey Weinstein were apparently pretty tight at one point.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >Smith and Harvey Weinstein were apparently pretty tight at one point.
        Nah. It was straight-up business. Weinstein went so far as to keep the rights of distribution from Dogma to himself, reason why Smith can't do shit with that property. The only movie of his, safe from getting a sequel or an animated series or whatever.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          I always forget about that situation with Dogma. I'd love to know the details behind this. What was it about Dogma that made Weinstein want to frick Kevin Smith over it.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            >What was it about Dogma that made Weinstein want to frick Kevin Smith over it.
            It was probably because Dogma has a shitload of well-known entertainers and actors. He probably figured it was worth owning because Affleck and Damon were on the rise at the moment, Harvey thought the movie had franchise potential. Then as the movie premiered and did terribly, as all Smith movies do, he just decided to shelve it.

            Recently he used it as leverage to gain Smith's support (according to Smith so take it with a grain of salt).

            >"I said, 'Hey, how are you?' And he goes, 'You know, we have 'Dogma,' I just realized, and we got to get it out there again,'" Smith recalled to Business Insider while promoting his upcoming movie "Jay and Silent Bob Reboot"

            >"I said, 'We do! People online are always asking where they can get it,'" Smith said. "And he then goes, 'You know, that movie had a big cast, we might even be able to do a sequel.' And I was like, 'Yeah man, right on. I might think about that.' And he was like, 'We'll talk.' And a week later The New York Times story breaks. I felt sick to my stomach."

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              It's pretty well known why. Miramax was owned by Disney when it was being proposed. They said no. So the Weinstein brothers bought the rights, and worked a distribution deal. Smith has said a couple times he's tried to buy it back, but got no answer. Now? Who the frick knows. But the Weinsteins are sitting on it, and won't do anything with it.

              Dogma is arguably one of his best pieces of work. But it sounds like without Weinstein buying the rights the film doesn't see the light of day. Unfortunate situation but simple business.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            It's pretty well known why. Miramax was owned by Disney when it was being proposed. They said no. So the Weinstein brothers bought the rights, and worked a distribution deal. Smith has said a couple times he's tried to buy it back, but got no answer. Now? Who the frick knows. But the Weinsteins are sitting on it, and won't do anything with it.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          It was business, but Kevin thought it was closer than it was. As for the rights, Disney (Miramax) gave it back because it conflicted with their family friendly image and the movie pissed off the rigidly uptight Catholic crowd.

          Interestingly enough that's why the entire movie is on YouTube for free: the Weinsteins own the rights (personally, notbtheir company), but if they file a copyright claim that opens up their ownership to any lawsuits they may be a part of.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >Neither Ben Affleck or Matt Damon have careers without Kevin Smith.
        Bullshit. That's what Smith wants everyone to believe, anyway. He had way less to do with why Good Will Hunting was a smash hit than anyone else involved, he just got to Weinstein eye's.
        If they hadn't done GWH, they would have been stars, regardless. Damon more so than Affleck.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          I mean getting Weinstein, the guy that produced the movie, to reluctantly give it a read is a pretty big deal. No one wanted to touch Good Will Hunting as it was. Damon was on the up and up and Good Will Hunting catapulted them both into mega stars instantly.
          Like it or not without Smith's help neither of those dudes are who they are today.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >Neither Ben Affleck or Matt Damon have careers without Kevin Smith
        Affleck and Damon are obvious CIA assets, recruited at Harvard.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >because it's totally normal for 2 no-name actors to get invited to the White House to watch your film with the president

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            That was at Camp David, and it was after Good Will Hunting had come out and was a successful film. https://aboutcampdavid.blogspot.com/2014/06/good-will-hunting-screening-at-camp.html?m=1

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              >That was at Camp David,
              yes, I realize that, I misspoke
              >and it was after Good Will Hunting had come out and was a successful film.
              No, the screening was on 11 Jan 1998, only 2 days after GWH had been widely released:
              https://clinton.presidentiallibraries.us/items/show/49199

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >damon and affleck being smart enough to be on HARVARD
          now that is a looney theory

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Damon attended Harvard. Affleck worked at Harvard, and it was his mother's alma mater. Both went from no-names to big Hollywood celebrities out of nowhere. The CIA doesn't just let anyone in Hollywood make spook films; they are obviously going to use one of their assets that they have under control. Thus we have Damon starring in Good Will Hunting, where his character is being recruited by the NSA, as well as the Bourne films. Meanwhile, Affleck making a film about the CIA's involvement in filmmaking (Argo), or playing a CIA analyst in The Sum of All Fears.

  73. 2 years ago
    CreepyThinMan

    I love Clerks and 2 is a masterpiece but this looks fricking terrible!!!FACT!!!

  74. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    they look old

  75. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Meh, I may pirate it

  76. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    What a dishonest movie poster.
    Where''s randal's cancer enlarged throat pipe?
    Why is dante's hair that color instead of black?

  77. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >IT ACTUALLY LOOKS GOOD
    No it doesn't. It's very clearly shot on digital which isn't doing it any favors, and the flat lighting makes it look cheaper than Yoga Hosers if Yoga Hosers was a CW show. Plus, with everything that went down, Smith is pretty much irredeemable. I sincerely hope it's good, but I highly doubt it. Still, it's nice to see Dante and Randall again. Might consider pirating it.

  78. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >me
    >start college in 2004
    >never seen clerks
    >roommates are a couple years older than me
    >"anon, you should watch clerks, you're just like randal"
    >ok
    >watch clerks
    >don't see the resemblance
    >couple years later date a woman briefly
    >woman comes out as lesbian a few months later
    >start getting heavily into futa doujins after college
    >see old roommate again
    >"hey randal, i mean anon, lol"
    mfw

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >just like Randall
      >life is Chasing Amy

      Tough break, anon.

  79. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Or looks awful, more references to STAR WARS, because that’s apparently the only film series that Kevin Smith has ever seen.
    Watching this in the theaters would be embarrassing.

  80. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    did clerks start the gen x slacker movie trend?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous
    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      no. Slacker did.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Nothing started the slacker trend dumbass, it’s just that easily 70% of the people you meet are never going anywhere in life. The movie is just about 2 of those fricking losers, and their coming to terms with it.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        hello zoom zoom

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      It was Back to the Future and the Principal, who called Michael J Fox and his dad a slacker.

  81. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    2004/5 was the peak, everything after has been centrally influenced and bot directed increasingly every year since 2006.

  82. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >advanced tech for algorithm homosexualry
    clear your fricking internet cache or use a separate browser and never log into an account.

    You choose the bubble you create.

  83. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Randal turns woke

  84. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    looks shit, so it might be good

  85. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    It looks fricking terrible. Jesus Christ.

  86. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The rlm boys are so jealous of kevin smith.

  87. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    is mallrats actually good? I watch clerks 1 > clerks 2 > dogma and that was enough to put me off from watching any other kevin smith movies. Loved Clerks but half of 2 was really generic and shit and dogma was just awful

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >is mallrats actually good?
      Honestly? I only ever liked it because i liked comic books. I re-watched it like 3 years ago and it was less funny than i remembered. Give it a go, might be your thing. Jason Lee is the absolute best thing of the entire movie.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Yes. Joey Lauren Adams and Shannon Doherty were CUTE CUTE. If you are older, you may get a nostalgia tingle for 90s mall aesthetic. Oh and ass pennies.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Tough for me to say now, I first watched it at like age 14, liked it then so have some nostalgia for it. Jason Lee’s character is the best part. The Jay and Bob scenes are super cartoony, acting from most of the cast is a bit flat, it had a Stan Lee appearance way before MCU was a thing. Some good lines and bits but uneven and cheesy at times. I like it.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Theatrical cut is okay, but the extended version is cancer aids.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Hartford? The whale?

  88. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Holy Shit!!!
    Kevin Smith is a WOKE TRASH homosexual!!!

  89. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >its a movie.... ABOUT LE MOVIES!!!
    Truly on the cutting edge, Kevin. My mind is blown.

  90. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I’d like to cave in Kevin Smith’s face with a hammer

  91. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    i wounder if that fat frick anoying the randal actor so much he said he will only make the movie if his character gets killed off

  92. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Surprisingly it actually looks pretty decent. I like that it's taking the piss out of itself.

  93. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    it cant be worse than the yoga hoosers movie
    right?
    right?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Nah. He has the Clerks formula down by now. Yoga Hosers was him trying to make a teen comedy for girls, something he knows nothing about.

  94. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >It was also the last great act of white culture. Then culture was negrified, ghetofied and hiphopfied.
    In the late 90s-early 00s you still had people wanting to be wiggers like Eminem or Fred Durst. Even in the early-mid 90s, gangsta rap like Tupac and biggie was popular and mainstream.

  95. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    not watching the trailer
    not watching the movie
    frick kevin smith
    simple as

  96. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Clerks 2 was so fricking bad all about bestiality and shit. And Lord of the Rings and Rosario Dawson. That’s all Clerks 2 was. They weren’t even at the fricking Clerks place they were at the fricking fast food place from Strikes Back. At least this movie looks more like an actual Clerks sequel, but I don’t trust Kevin Smith to make anything good anymore

  97. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    now I feel nostalgic 🙁

  98. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    great song for the trailer, looks very soulful. I'm optimistic.

  99. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    looks fricking shit

  100. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Randall is definitely going to talk about troony sex

  101. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Kevin Smith movies aren't real movies. They are in jokes for his podcast audience.

  102. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Kino song

  103. 2 years ago
    Anonymous
  104. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    90s ARE BACK, b***hS !!!!!

  105. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I'm not one to call something unoriginal but holy shit this is so unoriginal. The whole meta commentary thing was done in Jay and silent bob reboot(hell I think it was done in the original jay and silent bob movie).

    I am curious what the original script was about. Did that ever leak?

  106. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Uuuuh.
    It could've been worse I guess, like Yoga Horses which is hands down his worst film bvut it doesn't look good still.
    Jay and Bob Reboot was pretty bad, but not AS awful as I thought it would be. There were some funny jokes. This looks on a similar level I guess.
    The biggest issue with latest Kevin Smith movies other than being not very funny is the visuals. Tusk was the last Kevin Smith movie that was competently made from a visual standpoint. Yoga Horses, Jay and Bob Reboot and this look really bad. It's partly because of digital cameras which do not fit into the nostalgic type movies he's trying to make. And partly the less than pedestrian camerwork. He never was a visionary or something but first Clerks had a remarkable visual aesthetic and all of his other films up untill Tusk were at least competently shot. After than it's like he turned into a shitty YouTube reviewer trying to make movies.

  107. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >kevin smith
    hahaha

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