How different would the plot have been if the writer of the books was a man?

How different would the plot have been if the writer of the books was a man?

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  1. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    Harry would end up with Hermione

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      Yep. A man knows that boning your best friend's sister is against the code.

      Blowies only.

  2. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    Quidditch would have been a plausible game not some bullshit where nothing else matters if you catch the snitch (which happens every fricking match)

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      >the quidditch world championship chapter where JK goes out of her way to tell everyone "uh you actually can get the snitch and still lose" but it requires every other player on the team to completely outclass the opposition
      I would feel embarrassed writing that shit

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      The points that the snitch grants aren’t enough for it to ensure a win if one team is a lot better than the other and the match drags on for a long time

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      Dunno but these would have been the major changes
      >Snape is a masculine father figure teaching Harry instead of the bitter incel cuck he is
      >Dumbledore is more Gandalf-y and less wizgay
      >Voldemort has an actual intimidating design instead of being a noseless baldie in black robes
      >better Harry x Ron dynamics
      >Hermione is either a love interest of Harry or completely sidelined
      >Quidditch makes sense
      >magic is less on-the-nose shiny beams of light fired from a wand and more complex and nuanced
      >no moronic pseudo Latin names for spells

      >the quidditch world championship chapter where JK goes out of her way to tell everyone "uh you actually can get the snitch and still lose" but it requires every other player on the team to completely outclass the opposition
      I would feel embarrassed writing that shit

      The points that the snitch grants aren’t enough for it to ensure a win if one team is a lot better than the other and the match drags on for a long time

      Quidditch is not that bad as people make it sound.
      Yes, catching the Snitch awards a lot of points, but seeking it renders a single player basically out of the actual match. You can think of a lot of interesting tactics because of that.
      >If Team A's seeker is looking for the snitch, Team B's seeker can instead help his teammates with the game, resulting in Team B having a man advantage, and scoring more goals. If they can then score enough points to get out of a seeker loss, Team A's seeker has to stop seeking to prevent a loss.

      • 5 days ago
        Anonymous

        Are the players allowed to leave their “roles” during the game though?

        You have a keeper, regular players, the ones with the bats who try to prevent their teammates getting their heads caved in by the murder balls and the seeker.

        • 5 days ago
          Anonymous

          There is a strict rule that only the seeker is allowed to touch the snitch, but there is no official rule anywhere about seekers not being allowed to touch the quaffle.

          • 5 days ago
            Anonymous

            >There is a strict rule that only the seeker is allowed to touch the snitch, but there is no official rule anywhere about seekers not being allowed to touch the quaffle.

            Leggo my Eggo

      • 5 days ago
        Anonymous

        I'm pretty sure seekers aren't even allowed to hold the quaffle ball. And even if they could they would never stop looking for the snitch because they would have to be up 16 FRICKING GOALS to make it worth losing the snitch for and the opposing seeker could just find the snitch at any time.
        people actually adapted Quidditch into real life and IIRC they made the snitch only worth 30 points so its still very impactful but doesn't decide the game in 99% of cases

        • 5 days ago
          Anonymous

          It doesnt say anywhere that seekers arent allowed to hold it. Same with the bat thing, there is even a scene in the movie where one of the Slytherin guys takes the bat from a teammate.
          And if a Quidditch game can take 3 months to finish, there is definitely enough time to get a 15 goal advantage if you play with 1 man extra.

      • 5 days ago
        Anonymous

        Catching the Snitch should've been so unbelievably difficult and rare that only a one-in-a-generation prodigy would be capable of it. And the snitch seeker should have a more active role in the regular game.
        That's the only way to fix the snitch thing.
        I know 150 points don't automatically get you a win (I think it's a retcon though because in the first editions of the book its stated it's an auto-win) but let's get real you'd have to get stomped so badly to have a score where 150 points don't give you a win automatically.
        Also how frustrating must it be that your regular players win but the other team has a good seeker and catches the thing while the rest of his team can't land one goal.

        Meanwhile in the books they catch the thing in every fricking game. It's not a sign of talent or extreme luck to catch it given how it's depicted in both books and movies. It really should've been such an incredibly difficult task that they were considering taking out the snitch until super prodigy chosen one Pottah came along (which would also give more credit to his chosen one-ness).

        • 5 days ago
          Anonymous

          Doesn't catching the snitch mark the game end though?

          • 5 days ago
            Anonymous

            It did in the early editions of the book, thats why xhe retconned it with the 150 points bs.

            • 5 days ago
              Anonymous

              I mean it determines when the game ends instead of a timer or point threshold

        • 5 days ago
          Anonymous

          Its a golden golf ball flying around a 3d football field (european). Unless the weather is shite it shouldn’t be super hard to catch a glimpse of the thing. Catching it is another story though

  3. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    You're a grown man.

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      >t. Grown man on the television and films board of a forum created for discussing Japanese cartoons

  4. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    for starters, snape wouldnt have been such a cuck

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      Snape would've been the one that killed Harry's mom. It would be the plot twist at the end.

  5. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    harry would have ended up with cho

  6. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    It would've been better.

  7. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    Dunno but these would have been the major changes
    >Snape is a masculine father figure teaching Harry instead of the bitter incel cuck he is
    >Dumbledore is more Gandalf-y and less wizgay
    >Voldemort has an actual intimidating design instead of being a noseless baldie in black robes
    >better Harry x Ron dynamics
    >Hermione is either a love interest of Harry or completely sidelined
    >Quidditch makes sense
    >magic is less on-the-nose shiny beams of light fired from a wand and more complex and nuanced
    >no moronic pseudo Latin names for spells

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      it would've been the same but with more "muh powerlevel" homosexualry, some fedora tier logic and more sex

      jkr's dumbledore was fine and snape while being a cuck was also a well written character

      • 5 days ago
        Anonymous

        I never stated Snape was a poorly written character.
        Nonetheless he's the perfect beta simp slurping other men's cum (figuratively speaking) that only a woman would write into a book.

        If Snape was written by a man he'd be like Fletcher and have a more father-ly reason to help and protect Harry other than
        >you smell like your mother's pussyhair, I'll always be there for you ... alwayss

      • 5 days ago
        Anonymous

        I never stated Snape was a poorly written character.
        Nonetheless he's the perfect beta simp slurping other men's cum (figuratively speaking) that only a woman would write into a book.

        If Snape was written by a man he'd be like Fletcher and have a more father-ly reason to help and protect Harry other than
        >you smell like your mother's pussyhair, I'll always be there for you ... alwayss

        Snape was definitely a poorly written character. A personality like his is unrealistic and would never exist, except for in the female mind.
        >Love girl as a child
        >She cucks you
        >Become powerful wizard
        >She has a happy life with Chad
        >For some reason, being a powerful wizard and having prostitutes like Narcissa longing for your dick would make a man still be obsessed with his highschool crush
        >To the point where he sacrifices his life for hers and Chads seedling
        Its moronic.

        • 5 days ago
          Anonymous

          >having prostitutes like Narcissa longing for your dick
          lmao no, there was no hint of that. besides narcissa was extremely loyal to lucius and her family which was obvious in the books.
          and it does make sense in the series because snape was clearly abused as a child, experienced no love and his sole purpose after failing to save his only true friend/love interest is being a tool for dumbledore's plans so it fits well with the overall theme of the series

          • 5 days ago
            Anonymous

            Narcissa gets wet from powerful men. After Lucius got turned into a b***h, its not unthinkable that she would cheat with the next big thing in the dark wizard world.

            • 5 days ago
              Anonymous

              you didn't read the books you dumb b***h. she shuts up her sister the second she insults her husband and also does it again when harry does the same
              > “They might be able to find you a double cell in Azkaban with your loser of a husband!”
              >Malfoy made an angry movement toward Harry, but stumbled over his overlong robe.
              >“It’s all right, Draco,” said Narcissa, restraining him with her thin white fingers on his shoulder. “I expect Potter will be reunited with dear Sirius before I am reunited with Lucius.”
              the sole reason she respected snape was because he was a "friend" of lucius, still treated him with some sort of respect after voldemort insults him and could also watch over her son

        • 5 days ago
          Anonymous

          >To the point where he sacrifices his life for hers and Chads seedling
          that's what I meant with
          >beta simp slurping other men's cum (figuratively speaking)

          it's a woman's ultimate fantasy to have a beta male fall in love so desperately to sacrifice himself for her or chad's seed and even fail to reproduce
          it's a biological/evolutionary thing that women rationalize as "true unrequited love"

          that said, none of his dialogues or mannerism come off as poorly written, and his endgame simping also isn't impossible or far fetched given how some morons literally take their own lives or castrate themselves when women reject them

          one guy sliced off his balls and wiener on omegle because a girl rejected him a few years ago

        • 5 days ago
          Anonymous

          Its actually kino

        • 5 days ago
          Anonymous

          You clearly never had a true childhood crush then.

          • 5 days ago
            Anonymous

            i definitely did, but i would never sacrifice myself for her seedling kek

          • 5 days ago
            Anonymous

            Never had a crush.
            Never fell in love.
            Never contemplated a relationship.
            Never had a gf.
            Never approached a woman.

            • 5 days ago
              Anonymous

              It's better this way

            • 5 days ago
              Anonymous

              >Never fell in love.
              Waifus exist for a reason, anon. 3DPD women don't deserve nor understand love, but you can still fine one if your heart is in the right place.

              • 5 days ago
                Anonymous

                The only way to have any success with 3DPD is to understand that they are only ever in a committed relationship for the lifestyle that the relationship brings. The moment you stop being able to finance that lifestyle 24/7 or she loses interest in the lifestyle she will leave or do other shit behind your back with all the dudes slipping into her IG DMs. And no I'm not only talking about the Stacies, even 2/10s weighing more than you also think the same now because of social media conditioning. This is not to say that they are evil and that you shouldn't bother, only that you need to have the right mindset if you decide to deal with them and to not think it will last forever just because she gave you a great blowjob once.

                And no, you cannot fix her, because she was never broken in the first place, all of the above are just in her nature.

              • 5 days ago
                Anonymous

                3D women are based.

                Get a dog if you want a relationship with somebody that loves you unconditionally.

              • 5 days ago
                Anonymous

                >somebody that loves you unconditionally.
                Only you can love yourself unconditionally.
                A hungry dog will eat you all the same.
                Maybe a really loyal one will wait until you're dead to eat your remains.
                If you expect anything unconditionally from others, you're in for a rude awakening.

              • 5 days ago
                Anonymous

                Fair.

                Though you probably should love yourself conditionally.

              • 5 days ago
                Anonymous

                I assume you mean you shouldn't indulge in bad habits, but if you truly love yourself unconditionally you'd dig yourself out of them, not destroy yourself. Discipline is true self love, not complacency.

              • 5 days ago
                Anonymous

                Yes and also you should maintain your self awareness. It's good to realize which parts of yourself are problematic to others and work to overcome them even if it's impossible.

              • 5 days ago
                Anonymous

                >somebody that loves you unconditionally.
                >Only you can love yourself unconditionally.
                That is not true. You can have unconditional belief in the higher concepts. Like friendship, camaraderie, honor, duty, self-sacrifice etc. Like love. If you truly believe in the concept of love you're already halfway there. The purest form of love is between a man and his waifu. The perfect union of anima and animus. The balance of the soul. The love for beauty itself.

              • 5 days ago
                Anonymous

                >You can have unconditional belief in the higher concepts.
                ...No? You can't. Not at all.

              • 5 days ago
                Anonymous

                >what is idealism
                Really, anon? Strength of belief is only ever constrained by the strength of one's will.

              • 5 days ago
                Anonymous

                >Idealism
                Something conditional.

                >Strength of belief is only ever constrained by the strength of one's will.
                Belief in something that has been proven to not be real is insanity.

              • 5 days ago
                Anonymous

                >Something conditional.
                Only if you consider
                >I will believe in the ideal for as long as I have decided to do so no matter what
                To be a "condition". And as I've said, only your own will can factor in that, nothing external, hence "unconditional". Not dependent on any other conditions besides itself.
                >Belief in something that has been proven to not be real is insanity.
                What is "real"? If it has a form, it is real. Idealistic, incorporeal form? Doesn't matter, it's real as long as there exists a even single mind believing in it. And I certainly exist because cogito, ergo sum.

              • 5 days ago
                Anonymous

                >And no, you cannot fix her, because she was never broken in the first place, all of the above are just in her nature.
                the same can be said for men. you're just too autistic for irl relationships

          • 5 days ago
            Anonymous

            >get with your childhood crush
            >break up after a year
            >5 years later is final panel
            >10 years later be married and "happy"
            there is bo winning except for the EXTREME minority

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      >no moronic pseudo Latin names for spells
      Flickum my bicus moron, that's half the fun.

  8. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    Hermione would've had G cups minimum and got her tiddies out by the last book.

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      Would (read)

  9. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    malfoy wouldve been a hot chick

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      Harry and Femalfoy teaming up to take down Voldy in book 7 would be kino of the highest order.
      Bonus points if they ended up together

      • 5 days ago
        Anonymous

        Uhm it would still be kino when they are both men too

        • 5 days ago
          Anonymous

          No!

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      >malfoy wouldve been a hot chick
      It's almost strange he wasn't, even with a woman writing it.

  10. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    Boy tortured by his shitty aunt and family for years. Yet no revenge is considered or taken.

    FEMALE FLICK.

    Passive male character stays passive his whole life.

    FEMALE STORY.

    What are male stories? Achievement of greatness, seeking justice, gaining power, overcoming hardship, leading others to greatness.

    So who is HARRY PASSIVE? Who is BARELY PLOT WORTHY? Not a male character.

  11. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    1. The magic would make sense and couldn't be learned in an afternoon
    2. Quidditch would make sense and require teamwork
    3. The house point system would make sense and have real incentive / consequence
    4. The student - teacher dynamic would make sense and actually be plausible
    5. The relationship dynamics would make sense and have a satisfying resolution
    6. The characters motivation would make sense and be plausible
    7. The magical hierarchy would make sense and be plausible
    8. The books wouldn't sell and the films never made

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      all of these, for better or worse

  12. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    if you want it to be massively popular you have to keep it as an escapist fantasy for children and teens.

  13. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    Quidditch is just a woman that doesn't understand sports having to invent a sport where the main character gets to be the main character and of the utter moronation of women when it comes to sports she had to make it so the main character can just win by doing one simple thing.
    If a man wrote Harry Potter he would probably be the goalkeeper

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      >If a man wrote Harry Potter he would probably be the goalkeeper
      Who ate all the pies? Yooouuuuuuuu fat bastard.

      • 5 days ago
        Anonymous

        >CHOOO CHANG CHOOO CHANG
        >WHEREVER YOU MAY BE
        >YOU EAT DOGS IN YOUR HOME COUNTRY

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      >If a man wrote Harry Potter he would probably be the goalkeeper
      Who ate all the pies? Yooouuuuuuuu fat bastard.

  14. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    Autistically detailed worldbuilding rooted in philosophy and religious allegory.

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      This.
      Like the witches of old being proto-terrorists, deals and conspiracies with the Catholic Church, druids vs christian mages, a more sophisticated lore when it comes to how magic came to be in the world, the role of the Muggle government, etc.

      Also plenty more schools of magic. There are like 3 or 4 in the whole world with no more than 500 students each.

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      Nasu is probably a women and she/he is basically the only urban fantasy writer to do that.

  15. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    just want to add that hermione ending up with ron was not a random decision. theyve been flirting with each other since the literal beginning. it was bound to happen eventually and when it did i was like "and there it is. the writing is actually pretty good for this part of the story." then i see the entire fanbase shouting their stupidity at the fact that she didnt end up with harry and im still facepalming in spirit

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      i dont mind hermione and ron ending up together, but harry and ginny was just a bit weird. maybe its because the actress for ginny in the movies was terrible and looked ugly.

      • 5 days ago
        Anonymous

        it was cringe in the books too

        • 5 days ago
          Anonymous

          made sense for ginny. she has a crush on harry since she was a kid. but it does kind of feel like harry just went with it

  16. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    less plot contrivances I would imagine

  17. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    Harrys history with women is kind of grim
    >Pajeetette
    >A chink who still loves her dead Chad ex-bf
    >Some mulatto girl at a cafe
    >A ginger coalburner

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      add a maisie-like FAS girl and a heroin addict and that's pretty much the only options a young british boy has nowadays

      • 5 days ago
        Anonymous

        live in London can confirm, I need to get out of here

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      If he had half a brain he could have had a girl who was actually good for him. Someone who stuck with him while Ron and Hermione ran off in a huff.

      • 5 days ago
        Anonymous

        >Hermione ran off in a huff.
        hermione never did that
        ron though was a total b***h

        • 5 days ago
          Anonymous

          Hermione left him several times.

          • 5 days ago
            Anonymous

            when?

            • 5 days ago
              Anonymous

              When Ron and Hermione were fighting they both left him alone.

              • 5 days ago
                Anonymous

                she never abandons him, she is secretive but she sticks with harry / dose her best to keep him safe

              • 5 days ago
                Anonymous

                You're only thinking of the bit in the deathly hallows. That's not the only time Harry needs and friend and they both frick off and leave him.

              • 5 days ago
                Anonymous

                again, in half blood prince she literally only "leaves" him because she's pissed off about ron and harry wasn't in danger at that point / needed her. she was the only person who stood by harry in goblet of fire and even when during the firebolt thing in PoA she was, from her pov, just looking out for him

              • 5 days ago
                Anonymous

                Blah, blah, blah.

                Some girls are eternally loyal. Girl's not named "Hermione".

              • 5 days ago
                Anonymous

                and tf did luna ever do?

              • 5 days ago
                Anonymous

                help save hermione in the 7th book
                checkmate hermionists

              • 5 days ago
                Anonymous

                so did seamus, she ain't special. if it weren't for hermione most of the characters would've been dead

              • 5 days ago
                Anonymous

                not luna :^)

              • 5 days ago
                Anonymous

                Luna was the one who actually understood the shit Harry had been through. Luna was the one who consoled him after Sirius died.

      • 5 days ago
        Anonymous

        never stick your dick in crazy anon, even harry knew that

        • 5 days ago
          Anonymous

          She wasn't crazy though. She was right about the fricking nargles all along.

          Actually had things in common with Harry. Most loyal girl. First to join DA. Dualed death eaters like a boss.

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      Ok the mulatto waitress was fine though.

      • 5 days ago
        Anonymous

        pointy breasts + hard nipples make my falcon rocket take off at full speed if you understand the figures of speech I'm using

  18. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    Why aren't they being cancelled?
    >say they have JK
    >old pedo trannies rejoice
    >still shill products
    >trannies stay quite
    ???

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      she cute

      but she bong

      • 5 days ago
        Anonymous

        dream woman and I don't think I'm being facetious

  19. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    A terrorist wouldn't be walking around 19 years later. Harry wouldn't have done his cuck walk of shame and suicided in the woods.

  20. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    >Hermione fricks all of Harry's school bullies
    >Series ends after 2 books

  21. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    It would still suck since good worldbuilding is unrelated to your gender.

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      >good worldbuilding is unrelated to your gender.
      Yes. Good worldbuilding however is related to sex. As in, only one sex have the capacity to produce good results in those kinds of pursuits. A male one.

      Nasu is probably a women and she/he is basically the only urban fantasy writer to do that.

      >Nasu is probably a women
      Stop with this moronic meme, you absolute Black. I won't let you taint the name of Kinoko Nasu by insinuating that he is a w*man.

      • 5 days ago
        Anonymous

        > Good worldbuilding however is related to sex.
        Nah. Men can write trash worldbuilding as well. While women can write good worldbuilding, at least when they aren't British centrists.

        >I won't let you taint the name of Kinoko Nasu by insinuating that he is a w*man.
        Come on, anon, it's obvious. Look at his fricking writing. Either he's a women or a insanely feminine male.

  22. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    They would have guns instead of those homosexual wands

  23. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    I'm shocked nobody mentioned "Make Draco a girl" yet.

    • 5 days ago
      Anonymous

      literally the 11th post in the thread

      • 5 days ago
        Anonymous

        Oh, overlooked that one.

        Either way, they are correct. Malfoy as a girl would have been the one thing that changed if the writer was male.

  24. 5 days ago
    Anonymous

    >women are bad at worldbuil-ACK

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