How do we solve Surf Dracula phenomenon?
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How do we solve Surf Dracula phenomenon?
How do we solve Surf Dracula phenomenon?
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Name one example of each.
No.
My bad, I should have said please.
Good example
>Surf Dracula = Blood Drive
New adventure each week paying homage to different types of grindhouse/exploitation films all while keeping the Death Race theme going.
If they made Blood Drive now as a Netflix show, it's be about how society collapsed to the point to allow Blood Drive to happen.
Mad cuz true
Not mad, I seriously wanted an example.
Smallville
The entire premise of Smallville is you're following Clark Kent before he became Superman.
The show quite literally ends with him becoming Superman.
>The show quite literally ends with him becoming Superman
homie he fights fricking doomsday in the show. he's superman the whole goddamn time minus the suit
House is an example of both
>early seasons every episode is just House solving case after case while being as offensive as possible
>writers then decided they needed to add some backstory, the later seasons are all about House as a person, rather than a professional physician, delving in to his psychology.
To be fair, the mental hospital episodes were kino, as well as the single prison episode.
Everything else in those seasons was kinda boring. The cases were boring .
Daredevil. Ten episodes of build up to him actually putting on the red outfit. (Still pretty good.)
Moon Knight. He's only Moon Knight for like twenty minutes of total screen time, the rest of it is him running around being confused and English.
Halo was a mess from the start, but the first season basically built to Master Chief and Cortana actually teaming up for the first time, and implied that Chief would become the stoic hero from the games at the end. (Immediately retconned)
The Book of Boba Fett: long explanation of how he got out of the Sarlacc, lots of sequences of him getting beat up with the implication that he's still weak from getting swallowed and needs the Bacta to get back to full strength. Last episode he finally does some legit battling, though by that point Mando has taken over. Also Fennec is about a thousand times more competent than him, no idea why she isn't in charge.
The way they handled the Punisher is really terrible
>Season 2 of Daredevil
>Already punishing for personal revenge
>Kills the guy behind the conspiracy that killed his family
>Takes all his guns
>Helps Daredevil kill some ninjas, becomes the Punisher
>Punisher Season 1
>He threw all the weapons in the river and stopped being the Punisher
>There is ANOTHER conspiracy involving the death of his family
>He becomes the Punisher again
>Punisher Season 2
>He trying to stop being the Punisher, AGAIN
>Gets dragged into shitty political conspiracy that does not even involve his family
>Becomes the Punisher in the last minute of the finale
Daredevil S3 > Daredevil S1 > Daredevil S2 (first half) >>>>>>>>>>>> Daredevil S2 (second half)
I would've completely dropped it after S2 if i had not already known about the kino prison fight in s3.
BCS
perry mason and better call saul
Halo
In the game you land on Halo in episode 2
In the TV show I don't think they've even found it yet
The twisted metal show, in the game, you just start crashing and destroying other cars right away, while the show takes a long time showing falcon making an ass of himself, the mute b***h from brooklyn 99 being annoying as frick and then some battles until the last episode
The Incredible Hulk
Daredevil
Thanks for all the examples anons. I concede.
>surfing every week
The Tick (1994)
>long ass flashback to how he got the surfboard
The Tick (2016)
I liked the new Tick show enough. How was he not The Tick since the first episode?
you people are hopeless wtf
The Tick was The Tick the entire time, but the entire first season is spent getting us to where the 90s cartoon starts, in terms of Arthur. The cartoon assumes we can accept that Arthur is a newbie hero still acclimating to the lifestyle, but the Amazon series chose to make us sit through the whole experience. I think they did a good job of it, but it still fit the prompt.
Fair enough.
Daredevil
Doesn’t get his costume until the final episode.
Skateboard Frankenstein (Netflix)
The Boba Fett show
all netflix marvel shows
it's almost COMICAL how much they did this
I watched Peacekeeper and its actually about a gay, a white woman and a fat black woman fighting the KKK and doesn't have anything to do with the movie its based
He Man and Scott Pilgrim for the modern examples.
He-man
Game of thrones
Lost
Star trek Discovery and Picard
Daredevil season 2
Punisher
West works season 2 and 3
Battle star galactic season 3
Rick and morty pretty fast
Sherlock
Breaking bad got close
The wire was really bad about it
The shield
Oz
Zanzibart
Forgive me
>back in the day
Dexter (earlier seasons)
Burn Notice (earlier seasons, i haven't seen later ones yet)
House (earlier seasons)
>Streaming Era
better call saul (which was till good, but he barely does any lawyering in it and its mostly backstory)
Halt and Catch Fire
Basically anything on HBO after 2010
It's a movie but in the snake eyes film he gets the suit in the last 5 seconds of the movie.
Game of Thrones.
The white walkers are perceived to be the ultimate end game threat and they get folded by a half-baked army at the first sign of actual resistance.
He forgot the part where they cancel the show after the first season.
No, they change up the writing room and make dracula a raging homosexual while his rival surfer van helsing becomes literal donald trump.
TDS
Not quite, they just made his son gay and get raped by some bug people.
and they fire everyone from s1 and hire an all new production team that literally just does the exact same thing while saying they're not
Nowadays surf dracula would have his originally ginger friend replaced by a black woman, he's also trans btw, transylvania bleh!!!!
Surf Blackula
That's actually an improvement, think of all the extra drama with having a Surfing Vampire who can't even swim.
>Surf Blackula
Look me in the eye and tell me that wouldht be pure distilled KINO
Blacks in water requires a higher suspension of disbelief than vampires.
everytime he falls off the board he struggles with an intense fight of life and death, dawn is approaching, if he cant get back on the board before sunlight covers teh ocean, he's gone for good anyway. thats the pilot finale right there.
Best I can do is Surf Bakula.
>Can't swim because he's black
>So he surfs instead
Sounds cool
Literally name 1 series
>Star Trek then
>they trek through the stars in a space ship
>Star Trek now:
>solving modern day race relations on earth
Trek was always "progressive" but why did it turn outright "woke"?
Because the childless israeli hags who write for it now have never watched it before and just assumed it was supposed to be their version of "woke"
when the writers turned into 20 year old Californian women and Black folks
worse than that, it's all Gen Xers, they're the worst fricking writers ever
joss whedon and his consequences have been a disaster for the television and film mediums
Because "progressivism" is always a israeli slippery slope that has no end to it, it can only become more and more progressive to justify its existence as an ideology.
>tell me you didn't watch trek without telling me you didn't watch trek
>star trek then: Space, the final frontier
>star trek now: Black person dykes, their lives matter
Watched more than you have, homosexual
Season 2 of the Picard show takes place entirely on Earth in present day, and they spend the entire time lecturing us about how ICE is bad and how being an alien who looks black is the worst thing ever.
DS9 confined all that shit to one two parter (and I didn't even like it, either); nuTrek stretches it out to ten episodes.
Picard meets a young Guinan who looks nothing like Whoopi and she goes
>shhheeeiit, dey don't think it be like it is but it DO, nawmsayin
it was so fricking embarrassing
and she doesnt remember who picard is lol
And she suffers time sickness and starts throwing up on screen because someone on the writing staff must have a puke fetish
original trek had an episode where 2 half black half white aliens spent the whole episode trying to kill each other only to find out that their whole world had been destroyed.
the difference between then and now is it was presented as a metaphor, and the intended moral was that a post racial society was peresnted as the ideal, now its been retconned that the federation in the 24th century has the same race realtion issues as 2023 America, and has the new view that a post racial society is impossible and white people need to spend eternity atoning for their "privilige" by being stomped under the heel of the minority du jour.
Watch The Bear if you want to see the perfect example.
>season 1 finale: let's open a restaurant 🙂
>the restaurant doesn't open until the final episode of season 2
Better Call Saul
I'm so tired of origin stories and everything needing to be explained. Just show me Surf Dracula doing his thing in his prime
Yellowjackets is the perfect example. Shows supposed to be about ritualistic cannibal school girls but 2 seasons of flashbacks have gone by and they still haven't showed you how they became some pagan cult yet and it took the entire first season just before they even tried eating someone.
Streaming TV was a mistake.
The Walking Dead. Boom, first episode walking dead in TWO different ways of understanding it.
Watching Tokyo Vice right now. Boom, in Tokyo and there are Vices, but Tokyo Vice means something also.
It's like pottery in both cases.
In the first episode of the second season he loses the surfing board and that entire season is about him getting the surfboard back. The final episode he realizes he never cared about surfing in the first place and gives up the board to one of the female side characters who take up the Surf Dracula mantle.The original Surf Dracula is never seem again in the next 4 seasons only to briefly show up in the character's 70th anniversary special along with a multiverse plot where multiple versions of the Surf Dracula from the 80s tv show and the failed 2010s movie reboot show up and they all compliment the new Surf Dracula girl and talk about how she is a worthy successor of the title even tho the show is on the verge of cancellation due to low ratings.
Also each "season" is barely eight episodes long, but the writers get paid the equivalent of twenty
And you have hundreds of youtube channels who make their entire income on daily rants about the terrible state of the Surf Dracula franchise with hour long video essays complaining about the excessive amount of gender and race swaps. Also all the gossip and studio intrigue about the upcoming all female Surf Dracula movie reboot that is currently going through massive reshoots after terrible test screenings.
>studio insist on wetsuits
>real fans know that bikinis are the correct choice
They just keep doing this over and over bros
The final shot would be him surfing at the screen, then catching a big wave as the screen pauses and Ocean Man plays over the credits.
>vampire goth girls at replace the Spongebob zoomettes as the Ocean Man screamers at Ween shows
It’s an absolute travesty that Surf Dracula never got picked up.
>Spongebob zoomettes
>Ocean Man screamers
>Ween shows
in english doc
>top
females that grew up watching SpongeBob
>middle
clamoring for the band to play "Ocean Man", not unlike when people go "play Free Bird!"
>bottom
A live show of the band Ween, famous for hit songs such as "Flutes of Chi", "Waving My Dick In The Wind" and "Ocean Man"
There wouldn’t be any real surfing in the show regardless of when it was made because that would cost too much to shoot
Just find a beach bum to cast as the lead and pay him in sandwiches and cannabis, he will do the surfing scenes for free
They would shoot shit for the pilot which had better production values, then recycle a lot of the old footage or flat out use different stock footage for most of the show while shooting minimal additional new footage when need be due to story and spend majority of the time not doing surfing. Hanging out at a surf shop, etc. That’s why Baywatch spent so much time not showing them swimming or driving boats in the water, and instead they were doing other stuff.
in the old days they would have shot a guy standing still on a surfboard in front of a blue screen and just spliced in some incredibly obvious stock footage of waves behind him
Yeah but they would have interwoven it with stock footage of people surfing. The D+ version would have blown $50M on CGI surfing that would somehow look worse.
We start by banning twitter screencaps and links.
lord of dem rangs
the boys was so fricking formulaic too
>1 minute or less cgi action scene at the beggining of episode
>blah blah blah blah entire episode
>1 minute or less cgi action scene at the end of episode
first 5 1/2 seasons of bcs
1st 3 seasons were kino because of chuck though. show would have been better if it had just focused on jimmy chuck kim and howard.
In the early episodes he is deciding on his surf costume and stumbles on a comic accurate suit, then goes "Pff... yeah, right." before deciding to just wear a normal wetsuit.
>shills defend it because the comic book suit was "unrealistic"
.
Surf in the sun?!yskg
uses his vampire powers to make a continuous wave and surf to nosurfratu's castle and dab on him while on his board
sounds like a pretty good pilot ngl
theme song
Original Dracula was only weak in the sun when he's not fully fed.
I love it
night "sur-ving"
bleh!
He'd wait until the full moon and then having surfing competitions with the wolfman
I know Capeshit is Capeshit but I really liked this over all the Disney Plus shows since every episode had Peacemaker go on some wacky adventure and the finale was just the end of one plotline
>season-long plotline
It's part of the problem.
john cena is autism kino it seems
This show made me realize how much Gunn abuses the "awkward dialogue in the middle of a serious situation" trope. It doesn't stand out that much in a two hours movie, but in a 6 episodes tv show it gets really tiresome after a while.
Did you guys watch the same show?
>TFW never watched Peacekeeper
It's interesting to see two entirely different takes on it
The reality is the show is about an obese black lesbian and generic black ops team (obese neckbeard numale, Gunn's wife, some black guy) and John Cena fumbles around on their behalf until everyone in the area is infested with alien butterflies that are trying to psyop the world into a utopia. He fumbles his way into conflict with the KKK but it's not the main focus (his psychopath incel sidekick that's cooler than him in every way has to go to prison and do some pro-Black person racebaiting shit to incite the Aryan brotherhood because he's an edgy sociopathic assassin but at least we know he's not racist!).
>he's an edgy sociopathic assassin but at least we know he's not racist!
I really hate that trope
I I don't even like racism, i just don't think it's some sort of unforgiveable ultimate evil
Im a racist but i would rate it a 6/10, worth the watch if you aren’t a poltard and can ignore black people contaminating your media. Theme song is excellent too.
Maybe you could argue the big black chick is the protag, but the show is absolutely about john cena.
I would give it a 10/10 for the opening theme, a 3/10 for every line of dialogue, a 7/10 for the action scenes, and after suffering through a whole season of buildup a 9/10 for DO YOU WANNA TASTE IT climax. Overall it is not good though.
death to wrestlegays and their gay icons
its a different coin side to the same problem, flipping it won't necessarily solve it
>zoomers think there is MORE filler now
Black person network tv used to be pretty much all filler and ads. there was like 10 episodes between locke finding and opening the hatch
It's more pining for truly episodic shows, Pokemon, Next Generation etc where there was no metapolot
Network tv has been stretching season long arcs with cliffhangers for decades but at least there was episodic plots. Streaming shows don't even bother with it anymore and just make a 6hr long movie with assloads of filler and chop it into episodes.
I’ve been watching a lot of HK movies from the 70s-90s lately. The thing I like about the chinks is that there is never any pretense with them
>you come to movie to see Jackie Chan hurt himself and kill a guy
>movie begins with Jackie Chan hurting himself
>movie ends the second Jackie Chan kills the guy
There’s no drawn out exposition, no epilogue. It’s just “you got what you came for now get the frick out”. It’s really refreshing honestly.
I recently watched a Chinese movie called The Five Elements Ninjas where this group of chinese warriors are tasked with defeating said ninjas after the usual YOU'LL PAY FOR YOUR INSOLENCE shit and the movie ends the frame they break the last ninja group's symbol so I can confirm
I have seen this film, and the elementals ninjas are great and there are five of them the entire film. Americans could learn from this.
Yeah I’ve seen that one too. Shaw Brothers stuff can be hilarious. Watch Crippled Avengers next.
sometimes they also just kill the protagonist rather than finish the B plot they added to kill time.
>gets stabbed in the taint over and over by ninjas hidden in the earth
>only loses the fight because he trips over his own intestines
no other hong kong movie has ever lived up to this one
You forget that the entire middle half of the movie is an unfunny comedy where you have to slog through. I am watching Police Story, I know Jackie isn't going to frick Bridgitte Lynn because you wouldn't set up his boring girlfriend otherwise. I'm bored of seeing all the ways he's not going to frick this chick, let's get back to the stunts!
Not him but you need some toned down scenes or the action loses its effect. That's another thing present day movies don't get. If you constantly have action turned up to 11 you have flatlining interest curve. Action turned up to 11 is only powerful if you previously mark a 0 point. That's why those 30-minute action sequences separated by a few minutes of exposition in modern films get so boring.
Don’t knock HK comedy so quick.
There was nothing wrong with Monster of the Week episodes with a secondary connected plotline running through the season. Why did they scrap it for these dull uninspired season long stories?
>total MOTW/mythology separation
kino
>MOTW with 8 minutes of mythology at the end of every episode
cringe but acceptable
>total removal of all MOTW
the Holocaust never happened but I wish it had
Stop watching shows written for women…they need tons of back story or they just can’t “get it”
I don't watch TV shows anymore because of this time wasting bullshit. Distill it into a 2 hour movie for frick off.
Reverse of this: Fresh Prince. From Season 1, they tell his whole backstory in the fricking credits.
The new Fresh Prince reboot?
>spread out the content thin because execs imagine 10 seasons and new franchise
>gets cancelled after the 1st one
Many such cases
This should be better known among all-time worst capeshit adaptations
The one and only season was eight episodes totaling six and a half hours
It covered material from the first one and a half issues of the comic
The entire fricking premise of the Jupiter's Legacy comic is flawed, young, shitty superheroes (and villains) trying to cope and save the world after their Superman is betrayed and murdered, and the season FINALE of the show is Superman's allies beginning to whisper that they're maybe considering betraying him.
picrel never did that. pure episodic kino