How do you "modernize" Tarzan?

The entire premise falls apart in a realistic setting.

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  1. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    You don't
    And why bother putting it in a modern setting if the movie ends with everyone returning to monke

  2. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >le reinvent
    I think we know exactly what they mean by now. However this time maybe they won't get away with it because Nuzan will too closely resemble an actual gorilla.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Tarzan will be white but Jane will be black

  3. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    why does it need to be realistic

  4. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Black man is lost in the white man's urban jungle and he becomes king of the white people.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >its an Obama biopic

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      King Kong already died.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      SOMETHINGS FAMILIAR ABOUT THESE STRANGERS LIKE ME

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Obama already was president for TWO terms.

  5. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    make tarzan a black woman living with apes

  6. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    tarzan is a big black wxmen who shakes her big fat booty in contempt of the evil wh*te m*les

  7. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >modernize
    Kys

  8. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    no shot they make the jungle gorilla man black, no fricking shot

    maybe asian or hispanic or something

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Make him a Chinese guy with a full blown beard. People will be confused as hell.

  9. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Not everything can be modernized.
    And it would be something like Malibu’s Most Wanted.

  10. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    He is a hobo in new York

  11. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >Sony making anything good

    Their only decent franchise is Spiderman and they had to beg Marvel for help to make their films watchable. There is no way this will be good

  12. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Imigrant arriving in the usa and has to "survive the stone jungle"

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous
    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      usa, infamous for being made out of stone

  13. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Don't.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      My heart

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous
        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Jane a cute.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      It’s so obvious they had to get the French to help them out with this film, looks head and shoulders better than any other Disney animation of the period.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      My heart

      Jane provoked things on me as a child that I'm just remembering now. For fricks sake, Disney.

  14. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Non-meme answer: Tarzan is a North Korean defector played by the latest kpop star.

  15. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    An ape is raised by humans. Hilarity ensues, someone sing about being lonely. 5 Oscars.

  16. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    who cares you just want to get mad about the race they choose.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      More like they want us to get mad but we actually have a lot of fun and never watch their shit. Life is good anon.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      and you just want to whine about it, thinking it'll change anybody's opinion.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Are you kidding? I want them to cast a Black person as king of the apes, the fallout would be glorious.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Maybe it would be Jane that they make black. Something about teaching civility to the savage white man.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          that would make it BWC kino
          either way it goes its a win for us

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Maybe it would be Jane that they make black. Something about teaching civility to the savage white man.

        >I want them to cast a Black person as king of the apes
        >be Jane that they make black.
        There's no way any race-swapping or gender-swapping could work in a woke way in this case
        >black woman takes dick from jungle white man
        or
        >black guy is depicted as savage monke
        or
        >amazonian woman is civilized by the dick

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      A Black person swinging through trees living amongst apes would be the best casting choice

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I'm actually mad about the race who does the choosing.

  17. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Just set it in the Vietnam war era, like they did with King Kong (which is basically the story of black Tarzan).

  18. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Tarzan will stay white because it’d be racist to portray a black as a monkey. But I’m sure that they’ll fit in a colonialism angle to make it whites bad, also Tarzan won’t get Jane, some black tribesman will.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      They'll probably make Jane black

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Ya, perhaps the whites will have slaves, and Tarzaned and the tribe will save the slaves.

  19. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    "Reinvent for the 21st century" just means pump it full of blacks

  20. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Liberals are incredibly racist, they just don’t realize it. They WILL make Tarzan black. 100%

    I keep getting ads on YouTube avout encouraging more black people to pursue higher education. The ads literally have black people breakdancing behind a terrible 90s hip-bop beat

  21. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Use my fan script where Jack Black plays a retired Tarzan living in England but some evil rich dude kidnaps Jane to force Tarzan to show him where a secret city of gold is located
    Tarzan foppish rich son tags along . At first they don’t get along but eventually the movie has them strengthening their father/son bond to save Jane

  22. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    didn't they do this already?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      wasn't margot robbie jane?

  23. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >How do you "modernize" Tarzan?

    Instead of a man who grew up in the jungle raised by apes, it's about a man who grew up in the digital jungle raised by frogs. A team of explorers finds this fascinating specimen that has been cut off from the rest of the world and decides to expose him to normal civilized society, lots of comedy and drama ensues.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >a man who grew up in the jungle raised by apes
      Race swapping Tarzan for a black actor makes a lot of sense here. Thats how they should modernize it

  24. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Loo. Tarzan swings into Starbucks every morning for overpriced coffee. What a movie, cant wait to see that no cap fr fr

  25. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    It'll be a black man in the ghetto.
    Clayton will be a white cop.
    Jane is the fine white meat that Tarzon BLACKS.

  26. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Blue filter
    Minorities
    Jane kicks ass and quips at Tarzan for being misogynist

  27. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >another reboot/remake

    Snore.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I mean hollywood’s ability to write original stories was dead and buried prior to covid. I am just waiting on the first “remake of a remake”

  28. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    black jane asian tarzan or two aids troony gays

  29. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Black mammy in "da hood" finds an abandoned White child, whose parents were killed by the most vicious gang in the hood while doing an urban outreach program for a charity. Mammy can't have kids after her boyfriend Tyrone punched her in the ovaries too many times while high on PCP, so she decides to raise him as her own, much to Tyrone's annoyance. The fight about it a lot at first but eventually Tyrone gives in. Ex: Tyrone walks in and sees his hoe nursing a White baby - "Whose god damn White baby is dat, Destinee!? Dat ain't yo muhfrickin son!" "Shut yo god damn ass up Tyrone dis here IS mah son n if you don't like it get da fuk out my house".

    White kid grows up in "da hood" and doesn't see another White person until he's a grown man. He walks around with an oversized white T-shirt his pants around his ankles, gold chain on his neck, grillz and speaks like "ayo we dindu nuffin sheeeit," shoplifts and commits arson. Then he meets and falls in love with a White girl who fell asleep on a bus and got lost in the hood. He asks if there are other Whites like him out there and she takes him to the suburbs. Slowly the Whites civilize him and acclimate him to White culture. He goes back to the hood speaking perfect English, wearing fitted clothes and saying he's renounced his criminal past. The other blacks all reject and make fun of him now and only his mammy and friend Urkel still accept him. He says he's off to live with the White folks now and gives Mammy and Urkel a teary goodbye before getting on the bus to Crackaville USA.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      So an Eminem biopic?

  30. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >le reinvention meme
    ohhhh my goooooooood
    movies are gay as hell now

  31. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >white boy abandoned at an inner city orphanage
    >raised by black people
    >fights off gentrifiers

  32. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    You go the Kong/Godzilla route, and create a ficticious region that hasn't ever been explored or discovered by satellite imaging due to geomagnetic storms or some shit. Lord Greystoke is the maverick scientist who believes in this land's existence, and he's willing to risk the lives of his wife and his young son to prove it. Instead of apes, Tarzan is discoverd by a race of cryptids like sasquatch or yeti and raised by them. it's not rocket surgery.

  33. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Give him gun.

  34. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Tarzan see's what white man has done and joins BLM

  35. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Are they going to bring Brendan Frasier back?
    Would be classic comedy, a fat Brendan Frasier, who despite leads a physically active lifestyle, is still fat cause all he mostly does is eat.

  36. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Hollywood casting:

    Son of Greystoke, eh? White guy, eh?

    Let’s make him a her, or use an actor who’s not too sure what he is. Anyway, let’s cast a black, Asian mix type of lady boy. We’ll call her Tarz-Anne. The. We’ll market the thing by preemptively calling all the old Tarzan fans racists if they don’t like it. Should drum up some easy clicks.

    Yeah, that’s the ticket. Now where’s my cocaine?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >Tarz-Anne
      keeek

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        that's a nice image. Shame about the hands as usual.

  37. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Make him horny and show him killing lots of natives.

  38. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    A bipoc womxn from a fully automated luxury communist utopia high above the clouds descends into the depths of MAGA country where she finds an manlike creature living among the animals and teaches him the ways of progressivism.

  39. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Make Tarzan lord of Portland Oregon
    a wild city on the edge of civilization

  40. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Reinvent for the 21st century means Black folk right? Or homos?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      interspecies sex with gorillas...oh wait you said that.

  41. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    make him a mumble rapper

  42. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Make Tarzan a trans man and let the monkey parents be an allegory of trans acceptance and inclusivity.
    Jane will of course be a strong black woman who will lead Transzan into the modern world with his (her) chin high and be confident in himself (herself).

  43. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    it's just gonna have a stronger jane, a weaker tarzan, and a more racist english hunter guy, and they are going to turn the anti-colonialism up to eleven

  44. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >how do you “modernize” Tarzan

    Cast Michael B Jordan as Tarzan and have him kill a bunch of whiteys.

  45. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    For me, it's The Emerald Forest.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      boobies

  46. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Tarzan is the only character who will stay white because you know they'd never cast a black dude swinging in the trees with monkeys lmao

  47. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Perfect modern Tarzan.
    Tarzan will be a black woman, who escaped from WHITE slavers into the jungle. She will be SMART and POWERFULL.
    Jane will be turned into John, a bumbling idiot white man. His idiot preconceived notions of what is good (white culture) will be upset by Tarzan far superior African culture. He will fall in love whi Tarzan, sadly for John though she is too POWERFULL and SMART to fall in love with a disgusting whiteoid. Also the end of the movie has Tarzan becoming queen of England.
    Tarzan will be played by meghan markle.

  48. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    You'll be in my heart
    Yes you'll be in my heart

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous
  49. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >it might be a black guy
    They had black guys ape out like gorillas in Black Panther and people hailed that movie as the woke Citizen Kane. It could happen.

  50. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    If Tarzan is just a nog now then how is that didn't than a white woman meeting any other African native?

  51. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    he was always too white

  52. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    My guess is it'll be something like:

    >Make Tarzan a Black, not raised by gorillas but just some random oogabooga bushman
    >Jane's father is more of an adventurer than a naturalist, a caricature of the paternalistic British colonialist
    >Clayton is a brutish mercenary ripped straight out of Heart of Darkness
    >Jane's characterization is taken unaltered from the literature on how to be a good White Ally, she does most of the work driving the relationship
    >to avoid muh noble savage whinging it'll probably be a bait and switch and turn out he's just some weirdo autist and he's from proto-Wakanda
    >conflict arises when Clayton convinces Jane's father to plunder the city instead of just mapping some river and drawing plants or whatever it was he was doing, Jane is torn but feels she must help the Black folks
    >Dr. Porter leaves, Clayton dies, Jane accepts her subordinate position

  53. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Tarzan will be an asian man played by Simu Liu

  54. 1 year ago
    Anonymous
  55. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >reinvent the character for the moden world
    but...that's what tarzan is about...

  56. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    ?t=145

  57. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Didn’t warners did an adaptation of the book in 2016

  58. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    you have to introduce him to the fantastic world of gay sex

  59. 1 year ago
    Anonymous
    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      She's wearing a bustle.

  60. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Well his father in the intro sequence is basically a British overman whose first act in the wilderness is to plant the Union Jack lmao so they're probably getting rid of that

  61. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    For me, it's put your faith in what you most believe in

  62. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    black tarzan

  63. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Modern Tarzan: has no concept of humanity been living as a gorilla his whole life
    Janeisha: "You have white privilege honkey, if I was a baby in da jungle a monkey cop would've shot me with a banana being black"
    Modern Tarzan: proceeds to kill/rape her while making chimp noise.

  64. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    If a couple have a downed plane and go missing in modern times someone is coming to search for them and will find him.

  65. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Jungle 2 jungle

  66. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >tarzan, but he's a Black person
    boring. next

  67. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    They're going to put the TAR back into TARZAN

  68. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    The future is a hellscape of endless reimagining's of centuries old stories. Frick this shit

  69. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Tarzan is now gay for gorilla ass and Jane is his black troony best friend.

  70. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    It will be a white baby being lost in the Ghetto, and then raised by Black folk

  71. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    It's sad seeing this endless cascade of reinventions and remakes as history and culture is raped by people infinitely less talented. They could never make a decent Tarzan remake solely on the premise that everything culturally embodied in Tarzan is held in endless contempt by the overculture. I guess the humiliation is the point.

  72. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    They already did, jungle 2 jungle or encino man

  73. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Starring Zendaya Coleman as Jane

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