How the frick am I meant to mould my personality around this? What the frick was he thinking taking this role? Drive, BR2049, only God forgives. All a cohesive personality package I could easily practice emulating - nothing too extravagant. Jackets, troubled, empathetic stares with a hint of sadness. Curt, economic use of words. I felt like Gosling was cultivating a career for fans like me, so I could follow in his footsteps. Sure, LaLa Land was a bit of a curveball but I went with it, got singing lessons, learned a bit of tap dancing and augmented my usual act with a cheerier sort of demeanour. But this? What the hell do I do with this? This is too hyperreal, it’s a cartoon. How the frick am I supposed to carry off plastic turbochad normalgay? At minimum
>working out
>developing social skills
>getting into “normal” hobbies
>being rich
>having a bimbo on my arm
And all that’s just to get me CLOSE to the headspace of Ken, that’s just the window dressing. I can inhabit all of Ryan’s rogues gallery psychologically - but to BE Ken, to really just be that perfect doll man - it’s almost like a state of super masculine care free meditation I need to master. I basically need to liquidate my actual self and start over. Why the frick would he do this to me?
One time after work, I went to the local troony bar to unwind a bit and cruise for some bussy. I was sitting at the bar, chatting up one of the freaks, when her boyfriend interrupts our conversation. This little homosexual was wearing an overpriced designer wifebeater, was 5'6", had overly-manicured onions beard, and had the most tasteless, generic tribal tattoos one could imagine. This little homosexual was droning on about how I couldn't talk to his girl, I just ignored him and smiled as I sipped my Glenlivet. Clearly enraged I wasn't intimidated by his manlet screeching, he pushed my shoulder. I turn around and hit this homosexual with the force of a thousand suns, it was some super saiyan shit. It didn't stop there, I kept wailing on this inked-up manlet loser until his face looked like a plate of spaghetti. That homosexual went comatose and his half a moron to this day.
>manlet hate post disguised as a troony hate post
not cool, bro
You sound like a dork
Uhh manlet bros?
LOL
That manlet was me, I was just trying to warn him that that girl was actually a man, and that he had aids, now I can't do math.
are you a bot ? im a grown ass man 32years old and i wear a transformer jacket , kickbacks air jordans all black and an old samsung i5 while i get drunk in public and listen to 90 songs and jerk it to shemale porn at home while my wife is cleaning the house.
now go be a pest elsewhere you absolute mongoloid devoid of any joy.
He's literally me.
Barbie and Ken used to be Christian role models for young women everywhere. This movie glorifies lesbians and trannies, pure smut.
this movie is for girls to jerk off to, it’s not for you
I’ll treat this movie like notebook and the other movie where he frick a mannequin (tho i secretly liked it)
Lars was kino and you fricking know it.
why he show undies
it's what chads do. it's a mating display
>hasn't started grinding to prepare for the new update
uninstall your goose programming now
>picking a Chad role so that his fanboys LARP as Chads
based Goose
The creator of these characters/dolls is a glowie.
Wait, I thought K died????
Can those israelites please stop trying to push this cryptoisraelite fugster as attractive.
I'm not even a gay or bi and even I can tell he's always been fricking homely and awkward looking.
Nevermind. This is going to be another Hollywood attempt at pushing homosexualry onto kids and teens
Shut up
i would let this guy in my butthole and i'm straight. you're just wrong
I’m a homosexual and you’re just gay. He’s not attractive, body or face. At least use your closeted denial crush on someone better.
Epicsauce brx! Gosling and patrick bateman are so funny ever since my frens on discord and twitter told me about it
you forgot his best one of all, The Place Beyond The Pines
The Goose wants to challenge us. It's pretty admirable.
It seems that... The Goose... is on the loose
**YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH**
This, i see it as tough love. I'm getting ready dad i mean goose.
“You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.”
Look me in the eye and tell me you can't do it, anon.
>Lars and the Real Girl: incel in love with a doll
>Drive: Incel in love with a real doll
>BR2049: Incel in love with a (hologram) doll
>Barbie: Incel in love with a doll
what's to figure out?
>Drive: Incel in love with a real doll
What
Come on sneed, let's go feed
Ah, ah, ah, yeah
Klaus Barbie
>having a Bimbo on my arm
Sweetie, you need to BECOME the bimbo or should I say, Himbo
You're mentally ill. Develop your own personality, moron.
Holy fricking KEK. Thank you anon. I haven't had a good laugh for sometime.
kek anon your a legend also
>Ken Boy Summer Simple As
ill be checking out ophenhimer aswell
he took the role so you can play the movie for girls to get horny to. be grateful
What events could possibly lead to his inevitable final scene where he lies down slowly dying of stab wound?
Ken will go rogue and reveal his troubled subplot. Trust the plan
Will the Gray Man have a personality for us goose fans?
>I felt like Gosling was cultivating a career for fans like me, so I could follow in his footsteps.
He still is. Trust the plan, goosebros. I've already got a loan to put a down payment on my pink convertible and have thrown out all my t shirts.
Next year will however be officially Ken Doll Summer I just don't want to be scrambling like the chumps.
me? I never stopped emulating lars and the real girl.
Just wait. It will be Drive again but in pink car.
5/10 shitpost
moron
Do you want a father or something, Jimmy?
Seriously man.. was he that desperate for a role?
Imagine living another life. I never expected anything from Cinemaphile after all and never will
>G0YAP
>I felt like Gosling was cultivating a career for fans like me, so I could follow in his footsteps
A worthless piece of shit who is afraid to talk to women?
GOOSEBROS WHY DID HE BETRAY US!?!?!?
>This is too hyperreal, it’s a cartoon.
homie it's a fricking BARBIE movie
Does Ken even have a personality?
He drives
He's Barbie's boyfriend and uhhhh
He has no penis
what is this movie going to be, anyway?
my israelite-fried brain can't think of anything but a "clever deconstruction of what Barbie means in current year" making her out to represent everything wrong with Amerikkka
so I try to think what the sincere version of a Barbie movie would be
would there be a villain?
would there be danger?
would there be any arguments or drama between Barbie & Ken?
what does Cinemaphile think the best way to make a Barbie movie that treats the IP with some respect and tries to please the audience?
Can’t wait for the Drive copypastas but Driver is replaced with Ken.
OP, the Goose is sending us a clear message. Our days of sulking must end. We must embrace life and grow up. You can do it OP. We all can do it. The Goose believes in us. Don't squander this chance.
This. Just enjoy life. Do what you like and don't let negativity hinder you. If you can't get something right the first time just keep going at it. Enjoy movies instead of picking them apart. Enjoy silly things in life. Don't hide behind irony just fricking laugh!
I'm already grown up. you're going to have to be more specific.
>becoming a ken doll like fricktoy for women
Looks like I was ahead of the curve and been behaving this way ever since my prostitute gf dumped me
You can start by working out and getting a tan
It's a summer personality package
For me at least, It's like seeing The Rock play a Tooth Fairy. It's funny because I'm not used to seeing him take that type of role, which is a gag in and of itself.
Anyway enjoy your new himbo life, OP. Remember to contract your abdomen and control your breathing during bicep curls to help with your technique.
Lol
>How the frick am I supposed to carry off plastic turbochad normalgay? At minimum
out
social skills
into “normal” hobbies
rich
a bimbo on my arm
Thats the ultimate challenge to you.
Can you pull it off? Can you BECOME ken?
i thought it was more about
>showing maximum wiener buldge
>getting super shreded and wearing almost no clothes
>haveing 0 personality
>just being a walking frick doll