How would you beat it?
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How would you beat it?
How would you beat it?
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by not having sex haha
And how would you do that?
by shitposting on Cinemaphile on a friday night
this
I don't understand this question. It's not like chicks randomly fall on my dick.
>the monster is supposed to be a thing that looks like just a normal person
>just for one random jumpscare it becomes a 10 foot tall guy with le spoopy mascara and eyeshadow
dishonest filmmaking.
it was pretending to be her dad
I assumed the form it took on the roof was her dad. She stared at it for a lot longer. The movie became shit once the creature became a physical being. All you would need to do is walk to a police station, tell them what is going on and throw a blanket or paint onto the creature so they believe you. Once you have public support you just lock it in a jail cell, vault, anything.
It is truly astonishing how Cinemaphile is genuinely full of autistic people like this who don't understand metaphor. They're literally incapable of thinking in anything but base stunted mechanical terms.
Maybe I should have posted about flying back and forth across the world instead. Face it, the movie became shit the instant it became physical. Hmm I think I'll just play with the girls hair instead of immediately killing her.
>the monster is supposed to be a thing that looks like just a normal person
Is this actually the case? It has been a few years since I saw the movie, but my recollection is that it was usually a kinda creepy looking person. Nothing horribly out of the ordinary, but "creepy movie cliche" level. I guess a lot of that just came down to the expression and movement though.
>go to an asian sex tourist destination
>frick prostitute
>prostitute fricks sex tourist
>sex tourist fricks another prostitute
>prostitute fricks another sex tourist
>ad infinitum
>sex tourist or prostitute dies
>thing kills sex tourist or prostitute that gave it to them
>thing is now going down the line killing everyone because no one knows it's coming
the thing cant keep up with the number of sexual partners and how many times your fricking prostitutes.
if you've been a sex tourist you know you dont frick one girl a night you're literally fricking several and those same prostitutes are fricking several other men.
By the time the thing actually manages to get to the country (because its slow as frick) i will be several thousand times removed from the things list.
If the thing had to walk across the bottom of the ocean, sure, but once it gets to the brothel, it will change people fast
Frick 2-3 people in Japan, fly to Vegas, frick 2-3 people at the bunny ranch, fly to amsterdam, frick 2-3 people there
That's how you buy time. You need distance between targets. If the last person suicides then what then? Does the creature die?
once you frick someone the curse is on them so it wouldn't matter whether you frick a japanese girl and another one right after in amsterdam
I think what he's saying is that his plan is just to keep travelling long distances and having sex forever.
sure it wouldn't help him while the curse is passed to someone else who is still alive, but it means that as soon as the last person dies and the curse passes back to him, he won't be vulnerable for very long and he'll have quite a while to pass it back on to someone else.
the big danger is when you pass it on to someone else and think you're safe and don't recognise the danger is coming.
so if you travel around having sex with different epople forever you'll reduce the time that you're the target and hopefully won't be caught off guard.
>If the last person suicides then what then? Does the creature die?
it's estabilished that the last in line dies before the thign gets him, it goes back a split branch, ad infinitum
Theoretically once all the 1000s of people cursed die we do not know what it will do at that point
it doesn't work that way. you can only pass "it" once. so you will pass it off to the first person you frick all the other women you frick will be fine
As it kills the first client, someone's already nutting in the prostitute again, making himself the next target.
We can't lose, hookerbros.
the hooker and the sex tourist would have passed it on a dozen times before it even reaches the prostitute hotspot. we won
The creature could teleport. It clearly likes to torment it's victims. It teleports within a certain distance then commences walking. Only way to beat it is either not having sex or 24/7 surveillance with special living arrangements and exit strategies, you'd always have to live on your toes.
Are moronic and don't understand how it works.
>It teleports within a certain distance then commences walking
post timestamp where this is mentioned
How'd it get on the roof?
>it can defy all natural laws and teleport but it can't climb
You're missing the point, why does it even choose to walk in the first place, why does it take on forms such as a giant, a hooker pissing herself or your parents? The kill itself isn't the point. It wants you to always be suffering and restless. It clearly has powers that go beyond what it normally uses ie super strength. It's like a game to it.
>why does it even choose to walk in the first place
Probably because it can only walk, which seems like a much better plot device than "it can teleport but chooses to walk instead"
I think an entity playing tag with people using its on arbitrary rules is a lot more horrifying than the idea that it can actually be defeated.
You're completely wrong. If a fictional monster can do whatever bullshit it wants, then it's clearly just an author's device and there's nothing tangibly scary about it. There's no "what if I was in that situation" question to ask, because the answer will be whatever the plot demands, meaning there's nothing to be scared of.
If what it does is clear and limited, but preys on human selfishness/arrogance/carelessness, then it's much more frightening because you ask yourself if you can really deal with that. The slow zombie is far more interesting and sinister than the fast zombie, because it causes you to overextend and be overwhelmed as soon as you stop paying attention, whilst the other has the same threat level as any wild animal.
Forget the how, I want to know why it climbed on the roof
How did it figure that climbing onto the roof was part of the shortest route to it's current target
Why was it just standing there when every other point, it's moving towards its target or making efforts to remove obstacles in its way
Did its path-finding bug out like a poorly-programmed video game NPC?
even with teleportation a prostitute/punter chain with enough turnover in sex partners would work
Where did it go after the pool scene?
The whole point is that it can only walk. That's the entire premise. Fricking have a nice day, shartinmart.
the kids go on a long drive away from it to their vacation house but only get a few hours respite and shows up faster than they expected.
for drives that take a few hours , walking there takes a few days
>an arbitrary set of rules that involve teleporting X distance from target THEN walking
wow brilliant
>the creature could teleport. It clearly likes to torment it's victims
Then it's a shit monster. The scariest monsters are bound to strict logic but succeed through human error.
With enough effort you could trap it at the bottom of the ocean. I don't have a specific plan for that.
>Bang nuclear submarine operator
>????
the thing can teleport anon
it just chooses to walk slowly to play with its prey
>monster is following you
>?????
>monster is trapped at the bottom of the ocean
We’ve almost got it sorted, just need that second step
It always teleports to you to be in a walking distance
We have to create spawn traps, then.
>throw paint on it
>hey everybody look at the invisible man lol
Fly to thailand, have sex with bar girl prostitute. Now the anti-sexhaver monster is so far away from me and up such a long chain of prostitutes and sexpats it has to kill before it comes back to me I'll never have to worry again.
this guy gets it. Im heading to phillipines this year, any idea on what its like i usually head out to phuket and Bangkok
are you going to angeles or manila or cebu?
From my experience prosties in the PH are kinda low quality and expensive, might just try hooking up with normal hoes
angeles city. its got a "walking street" area similar to thailand and its the liveliest so im told. as for the women im not to fussed i hear some of the filipina prostitutes could pass for latinas
where are you getting your info? sexpat forums?
Some pinays are part spanish so they look latina, but it's rare, and they tend to be much prettier and successful.
The most beautiful prostie I saw there was half spanish half indonesian, but wanted 200 bux for a bang
maybe ur not into chinky looking hoes so you find pinays better
By expensive I meant quality vs price wise compared to thailand
Also go go bars are a massive scam, i suggest to just use dating apps to find freelancer hoes
>sexpat forums?
yes, lol. when you say 200bucks you mean american dollars or the phillipine dollar? because frick that noise if its american bucks i could literally get better prossies here for that money
>Also go go bars are a massive scam
I've never been to phillipines so i cant say but gogo bars/ beer bars in Thailand are a good time guaranteed the girls might me a lot pricier but they're also better looking and you can just sit at the bar groping the girls all night if you want without making a purchase... frick man i cant wait
american dollars, hot/classy prosties will talk in USD not pesos as they only cater to foreigners
Anyways if you're not ugly as hell you could try just hooking up with decent looking regular bawds, I remember having 100-200 matches on tantan and a couple times I just spammed 20 or so nearby ones asking to go out until one said yes, both times we just went for some cheap food/drink and went back to my apartment, both were down to have coitus on the first night (I chose not to have coitus)
Both had dated other white guys before
>low quality
depends on the taste but tbh i found them better looking than the thai girls
>and expensive
where the frick did you go? they're much cheaper than thailand
enjoy the HPV and HIV homosexual
ive been to thailand 7 times and ive barebacked near 100s of prostitutes and haven't caught a single std (i get checked before and after my trip) but you keep coping and seething friend
How many kids do you reckon you've fathered over there?
He fathered millions
Zero (0). I only frick ladyboys.
>t. Thai pimp
Why are you a pedo anon?
This is actually a good plan (maybe the only one).
360 ollie
I'd beat the shit out of it bro. Im tough.
Same with any movie monster
>Ohhh omg not michael myers who is literally just a guy in a mask
how'd you like a triangle choke b***h? Yeah thats right.
>not fricking it into submission
Michael Myers would literally grab your arm and crush it like a vice lmao
Same with Jason
They have ape strength. Try to triangle choke a silverback. I'm waiting
wear a condom
Unlike a lot of people I'm glad you I had sex and got cursed. I don't care what your schedule is. I don't care if you chase people 16 days a year or 365 days a year. You could be Santa Clause and have his schedule, one day a year and I'd still keep having sex and spreading it. I don't care how many kills you do every year. I know how hard that schedule probably is, but every time you come back, whenever you decide to grace me with your presence, I'm gonna get fricked in the ass. Because this isn't candy land. I'm like nobody you've ever faced before. You can stalk me and you can creep and you can sing songs and you can rhyme and you can do your tired, lame-ass schtick. I just want you to know that come the roll of the credits and you have about three minutes to realize this, I'm gonna get my ass fricked 'cause I'm the best in the world. I'm the best thing going today. I'm the best woman you've ever stepped foot in the ring with. And you need to understand, congratulations, hun, you just graduated from the kiddie table, but you just bit off more than you can chew. You're playing little league with your little insults and your rhymes and your 'millions and millions' and your 'finallys'. And I'm in the big leagues and I'm swinging for the fence. You need to understand that your little jabs and your insults, it's all kiddie games. You can't leave a mark on my face face. Come credits, understand, when you step in the ring, your arms are just too short to box with God."
BY LITERALY HAVING SEX
fricking it so it kills itself
checkmate atheists
how the frick are you going to hold it down its strong enough to snap legs in half
dyel?
Would it count if you just edged and shot cum on it when it shows up?
I'd frick it
I'd call Ghostbusters 80's version.
I'd let three random guys on a boat frick me silly
When directory gonna make next film?
This and under silver lake one of the most memorable films in past years for me.
Wow. Watch more films.
no, i just left disappointed
why does that chick look exactly like the femcel that was stalking online
>supernatural being must only be able to walk because that's what we see it do
Yeah okay.
>making up powers that aren't even alluded to
cool dude everyone it targets should just die instantly if thats the case, why wouldn't a supernatural being have that power?
It's playing. It's intentionally limiting itself to frick with victims.
>teleporting demon that experiences human emotions of joy and happiness when performing certain acts to taunt its enemies
yeah nah its probably more likely that it just walks constantly to a target, like is said in the movie, but each to their own
If it's purpose was to kill how can you explain it's inefficience when it has the ability to assume any form? It's clearly toying with it's victims.
If it's purpose was to kill then why the frick wouldnt it teleport onto them? Have you ever seen a lion chase a gazelle only to stop a certain distance away and start walking at it just to torment it?
it obviously has the ability to change its appearance, that doesnt automatically give it emotions and motives and 50 other abilities like teleporting, fricking drop it with your fanfic bro
Sex with cute prostitute (male) in Thailand. Think about it.
shes cute asf bro whats her insta
>wow, imagine just not having sex, that must be impossible
man just go get drunk and frick a dumb bar bawd and get over it already
anything's better than sitting on Cinemaphile whining about the albatross around your neck for 20 years
I had sex a month ago, but still, if I could defeat the monster by not having sex that wouldn't be difficult
the issue is by the time you are aware of the monster you'd likely be cursed already, it's not common knowledge in universe
You can't "defeat" it if it was never after you to begin with. It's like saying you've beaten Mike Tyson because he never tried to punch you.
but I could beat the frick out of Mike Tyson though
Big if true
>Have sex with a bird of prey
>Checkmate It Follows monster.
tony hawk?
Now a bone-chilling video game:
As stupid as it is, I like the setting.
The setting, AKA an average Source map?
Yes.
frick that got me tensed, the std monster would be a lot scarier if it actually ran after you
I had a dream that was like this kinda(one of many dreams similar to this movie) but in my dream it couldn't move if you were looking at it, but would sprint at you when you weren't looking. Like the ghosts in mario kek
I watch a certain videotape and wait to see what happens.
Simply rape the monster and then it kills itself
What do you think would happen if you sprayed it with paint, and then it changed shapes? Would all the particles fall off? Half of it?
challenge him to a game of SKATE
>walks everywhere
>knocks on doors to be let in
>can be trapped
i seriously dont understand why anyone would be scared of this monster, the only thing it has going for it is that its relentless
What do you think would happen if you led it to say a police station and demonstrated to some officers outside that you were clearly being followed by an invisible stalker?
they would call you a schizo and think you were using a magic trick/prop
At least one would walk up to the bedsheet or whatever you were using to expose the thing, try to touch it out of curiosity and get knocked flying
if you frick an active porn star or certain prostitutes then there's a chance that the chain of most-recently-fricked people will keep growing in length faster than the creature manages to kill people, especially if the creature counts gay sexual encounters you could probably go to sanfrancisco or LA and pay to frick some twink male prostitute or someone you met during a pride parade and the chain would grow like 3 per day during pride week or month and 1 per day after that. But the movie doesn't confirm that it's spread by anytihng other htan penis in vegana sex. In fact it also doesn't confirm whether it is spread by condom Penis in vegana sex so you probably need to have unprotected sex just to make sure you pass it on.
once you've chosen a good seed that you hope will produce a fast-growing chain, then you should move to the wilderness and set up a custom security system to make some alarms if it detects movement or maybe pressure above the weight of a small animal to wake you up if it gets back to you.
I can't remember what the rules are for when it turns invisible , but that's also annoying
>just get a plane to another continent
it seems likely if the distance between you gets too great it teleports to 50 miles away from you or something. or it could just get on public transport to follow you.
i do a kickflip
marry a virgin, be faithful to each other ?
I would rape it when it shows up as a cute girl
Raping a demon is probably the most alpha move
>Teleporting mimic demon that kills me for adultery
Clearly I have faith as a shield , I convert to Christianity and have it exorcised by some priests and get my virginity restored. I then marry a nice Christian girl and frick her brains out, producing several kids. The end
tony hawk looks a bit tired these days
Tickle it until it begs me to stop and I say I'll only do so if it lets me go.
Then I tickle it some more to show it how serious I am.