how would you rewrite the battle of endor?
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how would you rewrite the battle of endor?
how would you rewrite the battle of endor?
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larged breasted skinny women (no blacks or indians) jiggling their breasts and kissing each other
To think an Indian woman is not as good as black Black person is not true Indian many times are white. Foolish.
Obvious answer is wookies instead of teddie bears
Do you know how strong actual bears are? Now imagine them sized down but with more mobility.
That's still dumb. Professional soldiers with blasters and mechanized armor are not gonna get stomped by teddy bears with stone age weapons.
There was thousands of ewoks on that planet who knew how to work around the environment. The empires biggest flaw was underestimating their enemies.
It’s just like my Afghanistan
Return of the Jedi becomes one the best Star Wars movies when you realize the Ewoks are the Taliban
>he hasn't played ewok hunt
seems like obvious answer but how would you explain them on endor when nerds would be saying that they should be on kashyyyk
That wasnt common knowledge at the time the movie came out
holiday special is literally about them going to wookies planet
>The Holiday Special
>common knowledge
>George refused to set RotJ on Kashyyyk so that he could preserve the Holiday Special's canon
I heard it was easier to find midgets than it was really, really tall people
just put the midgets on each other's shoulders. You could have like four midgets per outfit. It'd hire so many midgets!
Just say it's a Wookiee colony the Empire's fricking with or something
Why would Wookiees colonise a planet with tiny wookies...is this their version of Epstein Island?
Military aid from a fellow furry UN member.
how come humans are native to both tattooine and corellia???
simple, they brought them as slaves to build bunkers and dig trenches
The ewok dropping the rock on the stormtroopers head always gets me
Ewoks is exactly the reason why Agent Orange was invented. Anyone who ever played Battlefront knows Ewoks are OP because they are just completely invisible in a forest. The Empire had no business being on a moon without proper terraforming and deforestation around their area of operation. Of course the Vietcong was able to hold them back, even more so with the red backup from the chinks/rebels shitting them full with weapons and intel.
But in the original plot outline the Emperor deliberately had a tiny fake garrison on Endor because he planned to lure the rebels there to launch an attack with their heroes and use the Death Star to blow it up, as seen in deleted scenes where the Grand Moff actually refuses to give the order.
>Wookies
*Gungans
*Goongas
Cut it entirely because it makes no sense
It automatically becomes better if you just increase the scale. It feels like it's a few dozen people having a fight while two main characters goof off running in and out of one door a few times. It's not the teddy bears, it's than Han and Leia are doing straight up slapstick.
A racially diverse cast called the Resistance defeats evil white men with the help of gender non-conforming alien lesbians. The emperor is Trump and he is made to strip down and show the galaxy his baby penis.
I would hand it over to Lucas' ex wife to be saved in editing just like ANH
>Shield generator for the Death Star 2: Electric Boogaloo is on a lush, forested M-Class moon that orbits a gas giant of the same name, and has a very miniscule security detail consisting almost entirely of cannon fodder
Uh... why? Was there no budget for a second generator, a backup, or one inside the moon-sized, fully operational space station it shielded?
Big titty stormtroopers who need special-made boob armor mixed in among the troops.
Ive seen you make a similar post about HBOs Rome
Nope, must be another anon.
Why were Luke and Vader related?
In the context of the OT the force is hereditary so it makes sense that like 2 of 5 living users would be related. If you want to bring the prequels in there is a bunch of mumbo jumbo about a chosen one bringing balance to the force
>In the context of the OT the force is hereditary
why are jedi not pumping out kids
why are yoda and obi bin laden not pumping out kids instead of hiding in a swap and desert
Yoda did have kids. With Yaddle. They are also in hiding and you will see them eventually when Disney gets around to it
Uh yeed
hot
Wookies with bowcasters instead of sticks and stones. The log traps are still fine, though.
Include more Ewoks
Remove Luke vs Emperor which made no sense, Lando already destroyed the Death Star which made that fight redundant.
wookies
It wouldn't even be in the story, the Death Star II wouldn't be in the story as well.
There's nothing wrong with the second Death Star. It was literally designed to be something the rebels not only couldn't resist, but would throw their entire force at to destroy. All so the Emperor could wipe them out in one operation. And it would have worked too except for enormous plot armor by Lucas making the Super Star Destroyer die to a tiny fighter and making the ewoks kill a shitload of elite troops with armored vehicles.
Instead of Endor, move it to Kashyykk
Wookies frick up the entire garrison
No more gay stupid teddy bears that ruined RotJ's tone
that entire film needs to be rewritten
>did you know that the battle of endor was originally supposed to have WOOKIES instead of ewoks
>so much cooler and adult for my space fantasy movies don’t you agree kind sir
going back to dagobah and then to endor idk i think i would just straight up cut dagobah and just have yoda give his spill while on the forest planet
>battle of Endor
The battle obviously should have taken place over Coruscant not Endor.