most people never make anything of their lives. most people are stuck in dead end jobs, most people lack ambition.
is it depressing? yes, but its also just reality.
it was better than i thought it would be. but honestly i can’t believe that THIS is the movie that filters Cinemaphile.
it’s honestly insane. they had a hilariously b***hy thread talking about dante getting ducked by washington carver and malcolm x but they don’t have the cognitive capability to recognize that it’s just a projection by dante about his dead wife being happy because he actually loves her and knew her personality. just small shit like that where it’s hilariously misunderstand and the intentions which are written at a second grade level are misunderstood. it’s a return to mediocrity for kevin smith and i liked it for what it was but it seems like the people who didn’t like it are actually moronic, autistic and cinematically illiterate. and i’m not someone who ad hominims for a piece of shit kevin smith movie. i think i just fully realized the totality of how fricking stupid people here are now.
this movie ended up playing like the sizzle reel for a movie that wins an independent spirit award in 2002.
especially the running in the street scenes and maudlin sentimental monologue.
Saw it Saturday with my best friend who got me into clerks 7 years ago. It sucked.
The thing is, the first two movies were about the clerks being clerks. Sure the second movie was a bit more surreal but it was basically you hanging out with Randal and Dante and listening to them shoot the shit and react to the stuff that happens throughout the day, with some plot points strung along.
However this movie was completely different. It was basically an unfunny nostalgiafest to try and con gen Xers into watching it. Elias becoming a Satanist was cringe, Becky being dead was sad, and Dante dying, while touching and done pretty well, made the movie depressing af.
TL:DR
>Randall gets heart attack >makes clerks 1 >Dante cries about his QT latina wife being dead >Dante gets heart attack >dies >elias.cringe >jay_and_silent_bob.homosexualry >I'm not even supposed to be here today×100
I came
Just like the director
me too, but it still sucks ass.
kevin bros...
kek is there a full compilation of his crying selfies?
just made one
as gay as it sounds, I can understand crying at a moment in a movie, but taking a selfie of it and posting on the internet is so fricking gay kek
>I just saw the Paw Patrol movie and I'm in tears...
jesus christ how pathetic
The random french poster behind him talks about trannies
He’s always fricking crying
I HATE Kevin Smith with all my heart.
Everyone Has Heart Attacks: The Movie
Is Mallrats 2 coming out still?
was it good?
no
Clerks 4: Randall dies of a heart attack
Elias dies of a heart attack on the way to the hospital
More than likely this will be the last time he ever directs a movie unless he plans on milking Clerks even more
I wouldn't mind seeing a Dogma 2
>ore than likely this will be the last time he ever directs a movie
not a chance, mallrats 2 is next
Really fricking sad to die leaving so little, filled of so many regrets and pain.
Be honest, does this look like something you want to watch?
>A bunch of geriatric men who spent all their lives being clerks in stores and literal bums
I don't know why but the thought of this is depressing.
most people never make anything of their lives. most people are stuck in dead end jobs, most people lack ambition.
is it depressing? yes, but its also just reality.
I am one of them
Rosario don't break.
Did I see? I can't remember.
>AARHHK
it was better than i thought it would be. but honestly i can’t believe that THIS is the movie that filters Cinemaphile.
it’s honestly insane. they had a hilariously b***hy thread talking about dante getting ducked by washington carver and malcolm x but they don’t have the cognitive capability to recognize that it’s just a projection by dante about his dead wife being happy because he actually loves her and knew her personality. just small shit like that where it’s hilariously misunderstand and the intentions which are written at a second grade level are misunderstood. it’s a return to mediocrity for kevin smith and i liked it for what it was but it seems like the people who didn’t like it are actually moronic, autistic and cinematically illiterate. and i’m not someone who ad hominims for a piece of shit kevin smith movie. i think i just fully realized the totality of how fricking stupid people here are now.
Took you long enough
shit movie don't bother
Is this actually good? I liked the first two but that was because I was 13 and I thought eating ass and fricking a donkey were the peak of comedy
Me too then I grew up and realized orange man bad is the funniest thing of all time.
For me the funniest thing of all time is when ropeys rope them selves.
It's crazy how from Clerks 1 to 3 Smith got fricking awful at directing movies and Dante got fricking awful at acting.
Mid-life Crisis: The Movie
It just sounds fricking depressing. Should have ended with 2 and moved, Jay&Silent Bob are fricking cringe now as well. Frick Kevin Smith he's a gay
this movie ended up playing like the sizzle reel for a movie that wins an independent spirit award in 2002.
especially the running in the street scenes and maudlin sentimental monologue.
The leaks about Rosario were so moronic I assumed it was a meme but it was real.
Saw it Saturday with my best friend who got me into clerks 7 years ago. It sucked.
The thing is, the first two movies were about the clerks being clerks. Sure the second movie was a bit more surreal but it was basically you hanging out with Randal and Dante and listening to them shoot the shit and react to the stuff that happens throughout the day, with some plot points strung along.
However this movie was completely different. It was basically an unfunny nostalgiafest to try and con gen Xers into watching it. Elias becoming a Satanist was cringe, Becky being dead was sad, and Dante dying, while touching and done pretty well, made the movie depressing af.
TL:DR
>Randall gets heart attack
>makes clerks 1
>Dante cries about his QT latina wife being dead
>Dante gets heart attack
>dies
>elias.cringe
>jay_and_silent_bob.homosexualry
>I'm not even supposed to be here today×100
3/10