I just realized Arthur Weasley was more than likely aware that muggles have porn on their internet, but didnt tell his sons
I just realized Arthur Weasley was more than likely aware that muggles have porn on their internet, but didnt tell his sons
This phonograph "reads" a rock’s rough surface and transforms it into beautiful ambient music pic.twitter.com/PYDzYsWWf8
— Surreal Videos (@SurrealVideos) March 3, 2023
their universe sells rape drugs at gag gift shops
His sons sold rape drugs at their gag gift shop.
In the 2nd book Lockheart does a valentines day event where he encourages students to buy rape potions and learn roofie charms.
To be fair Lockheart isn't the most lawful wizard or even qualified to be a teacher
He's a saint though. He had prime English roses tossing themselves at him and he did nothing.
Hypothetical question:
What if, instead of Gilderoy, it had been Tifa Lockheart teaching the students Defense Against the Dark Arts, but not with spells, but with Kickboxing?
Sounds better than half the teachers Harry had for the subject
Girl at 04.46 https://youtu.be/3vUtg20L7LM
Would by my love potion target
Patrician choice.
The small student at 3:50 would also get a "love spell"
also remember it was implied in the books Voldemort could not feel or understand love because he was a product of his mum using a love potion on his dad to conceive him.
That is one aspect yes but also his mom also gave up on life rather than raising him, also grew up in an orphanage during world war 2 which would dampen anyone spirit
That's because her brother and father were taken away by Aurors for the murders of Riddle Sr. and his parents. Merope literally could not fend for herself without the assistance of Marvolo & Morfin, especially since she was pregnant. She only barely made it to the orphanage and dropped him from her uterus before she died.
The movie omits the implied female-on-male rape that led to the conception, as well as how Tom came to be at the orphanage.
Movie skipping almost all his memories was dumb
A TV show with enough time for each and Snape classes would be kino
>Tragicomedy following Snape's daily life
What does he do all day when he's not being Potter's secret bodyguard?
he cries and gets fucked up on potion ingredients
>What does he do all day when he's not being Potter's secret bodyguard?
Probably fending off advances from female students. Or not fending them off in his weaker moments ...
>hook-nosed, greasy, pasty, rude and petty child-abusing fucker who lives in a dungeon getting any pussy
I thought most fangirls moved on from HP at this point.
He's by far the youngest teacher (youngest staff member even). He has that brooding goth boy aura around him that young girls are into. And the fangirl reaction to him shows that lots of young Slitherin girls in-universe would also have wanted to fuck him.
Who do you think was their projection space for all their teenage lust? Dumbledore? Hagrid? Flitwick Davis?
>Who do you think was their projection space for all their teenage lust?
According to my unreleased fanfics they usually projected their teenage lust all over each other and then they'd rub it in and kiss some more.
Lesbianism isn't as common as the porn industry would make you believe.
They aren't lesbians its just for practice and things get out of hand.
>He has that brooding goth boy aura around him
No he doesn't. He's an ugly creep. You're thinking of Alan Rickman who is both older and much more good looking than the character was ever supposed to be, and who is acting in movies that downplay or outright omit his most petty and deHispanicable moments to make him seem less like an unrepentant asshole who likes torturing a little boy because his dad (who died when the kid was 1yo) made a move on the girl he lost thanks to his own mistakes.
>He's an ugly creep.
Any you think retarded teenage girls care? They love the archetype. If he's a bad boy as well, that just adds some bonus points.
>who likes torturing a little boy because his dad (who died when the kid was 1yo) made a move on the girl he lost
To be fair, Harry is dumb as fuck and deserved it.
Once again, they "love the archetype" when the guy is reasonably good looking at least, has some redeeming features and displays moments of emotional vulnerability - aka, movie Snape.
Book Snape is almost a different character and I would not be surprised if he canonically died a virgin from both his extreme case of oneitis and general unlikableness.
I'm aware that book-Snape is different. My thesis is that for teen girls looks don't matter as much as archetyped, and being harsh and cold and even cruel might not be a negative to them.
If you're really going to argue this, Snape as the cruel ugly creep fuck is from your male perspective. Women read Snape, see literally one instance of movie Snape, and everything onwards book Snape does is viewed as if his movie side was doing it. It's how it is.
Snape fangirls only exist because of Alan Rickman
I believe Snape is a virgin canonically
He was alone with Lilly's corpse for an awfully long time.
Just because Harry didn't see him fuck around in his memories, that doesn't mean it never happened.
It doesnt seem like any of the Hogwarts teachers or employees have romantic relationships while they're at the school but no one knows what they do during the breaks
>while they're at the school
What if they get it going with another teacher?
>implied that voldemort was so fucked in the head only because he was conceived under the effects of a love potion
>this is never brought up again despite there probably being thousands of wizard sociopaths running around
And she got it on discount
If your good enough at magic in the harry potter universe you can hide your home from everybody in the magic world and they will have now way to find it.
Then you can insta pop up all over the world and use brainwashing spells on supermodels&actresses&etc.... to turn them in happy sex slaves and take them with your insta travel magic to your secret hideout and create your own harem.
Harry potter universe is broken as fuck if you really want to be a evil fucker.
This is why it works as a whimsical children's fantasy setting where depravity isn't a thing. People like you and to a greater extent Tumblr womanchildren overthink this stuff and morph it into degenerate fan fiction
can't rape the willing
You just *know* Fred & George used their love potion on Ginny and their mum, followed by obliviate.
> victimless crime
Fr though, have you ever considered the insane power dynamic the teachers potentially could have on their students? Snape definitely used memory charms&potions to have orgies with the Slytherin 3rd years in the dungeons.
That's why they have portraits everywhere, to snitch on sex offenders
>sex offenders
"Offense is not given, offense is taken!"
wasn't it set in the 90s?
Deathly Hallows takes place in 97-98. Wasnt internet porn a thing by that time? The first time I watched internet porn was in 2005 at a friend's place when his parents werent home, and it seemed internet porn was a pretty common thing by that time with RedTube having 10,000 videos
ok nvm checked and RedTube launched in 2007
I still remember free porn sites were already a thing, and Brazzers launched in 2006 iirc
there were lots of porn sites with free clips, there was p2p and kazaa, I'd find cheese pizza and think nothing of it, then I'd find adult women and cum buckets
>Wasnt internet porn a thing by that time?
It was but it was mostly still images. Downloading videos took a loooong time if you could even find them.
reminds me of this scene from the simpsons
Internet porn is as old as the internet itself, but there was a stage for maybe the first 10 years (the '90s) when it was relatively restrained. It didn't explode in abundance and popularity until digital cameras took over, and one could make and distribute porn without needing film developed
Homie, we're talking about images that loaded in horizontal segments. So I mean yeah, but..
if anything we're talking about HBO and Cinemax raunchy shit
They had internet porn in the 90s, dumb zoomie
Except a 20 minute scene took 3-6 hours to download.
You could load pictures one line of pixels at a time.
>A Survey of 917,410 Images, Description, Short Stories and Animations Downloaded 8.5 Million Times by Consumers in Over 2000 Cities in Forty Countries, Provinces and Territories"[5] by Martin Rimm, a Carnegie Mellon University graduate student, claimed that (as of 1994) 83.5% of the images on Usenet newsgroups where images were stored were pornographic in nature
he probably had a magic cabinet where he was hiding all the rare perverted 90's VHS tapes. all the Snuff and amateur stuff (nuns shitting on each other etc.)
There was porn on the internet in the 90's, but it was a lot easier to just buy a dirty magazine at a convenience store at the time.
Yeah I didn't think they had the internet in the 90s, there were no smart phones, so how would you be able to get online?
With dumb phones.
the hun dot com
t. boomer
wasn't it huns? i used to spend hours on that
>i used to spend hours on that
And that was just the loading time each day!
Wizards don't use electricity
He 100% had some playboy magazines
Why? Surely there are wizard equivalents with moving images, IE porn.
>zoomers watching Harry Potter
>"bruh y aint dey using dey ifones n shieeet? no cap fr fr on gawd"
Wow hilarious, good one
What internet? HP was set in the early to mid 90s.
Home internet starting being rolled out in '92. And I'd assume there was porn on BBSs before that. So it would have just been pictures but it's possible
What did he think of the result of the OJ trial.
Did he believe Michael Jackson was a pedophile
Actually with how huge MJ was probably even most wizards knew him, although they probably only heard the music and never saw the videos.
Some muggle born students develop a moonwalk spell during MJ popularity peak but was forbidden shortly after due to it having a chance of being permanent
>At once the small tabby cat morphed back up into a robed woman.
>“I’m sorry, Mr. Potter,” McGonagall said, sounding sincere, though her lips were twitching toward a smile. “I should have warned you.”
>Harry was breathing in short pants. His voice came out choked. “You can’t do that!”
>“It’s only a Transfiguration,” said McGonagall. “An Animagus transformation, to be exact.”
>“You turned into a cat! A small cat! You violated Conservation of Energy! That’s not just an arbitrary rule, it’s implied by the form of the quantum Hamiltonian! Rejecting it destroys unitarity and then you get ftl signaling! And cats are complicated! A human mind can’t just visualize a whole cat’s anatomy and, and all the cat biochemistry, and what about the neurology? How can you go on thinking using a catsized brain?”
>McGonagall’s lips were twitching harder now. “Magic.”
>“Magic isn’t enough to do that! You’d have to be a god!”
>McGonagall blinked. “That’s the first time I’ve ever been called that.”
>A blur was coming over Harry’s vision, as his brain started to comprehend what had just broken. The whole idea of a unified universe with mathematically regular laws, that was what had been flushed down the toilet; the whole notion of physics. Three thousand years of resolving big complicated things into smaller pieces, discovering that the music of the planets was the same tune as a falling apple, finding that the true laws were perfectly universal and had no exceptions anywhere and took the form of simple math governing the smallest parts, not to mention that the mind was the brain and the brain was made of neurons, a brain was what a person was—
I don't get it. Did the cat suck him off?
how autistic does someone have to be to write this shit
>how autistic does someone have to be to write this shit
Ravenclaw-tier autistic.
I'm allowed to say that because I apparently am a Ravenclaw myself, according to that personality test thingy.
>take potter test confident I'm Hufflepuff
>gives me Gryffindor
>no redos
FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT HAT
/misc/ is for Ravenclaw and Slytherin chads only.
>gives me Gryffindor
Sorry to hear that, anon. Easily the worst house, whose major trait is a lack of risk-awareness and common-sense.
You can delete your account though and make a new one to try again. I think for Hufflepuff you should pick all the overly friendly options, anything with nature, plants, animals, the element of earth and homely and cozy stuff.
Avoid anything that sounds dangerous/adventurous, swords, wands, the element of fire and outright statements of bravery and facing things head-on.
You sound like a huge gay
Slytherin moment
Nah, he's an overly sensitive Gryffindor. Slytherins wouldn't insult anyone who openly calls Gryffindor the worst and points out their negative traits. Slytherins would applaud and join in.
Is it for the new game? Can you do it without buying it?
The Pottermore shit, it's shocking to me that somebody who could care doesn't know already.
Thanks, last time I use it was still call Pottermore but I lost my account
>Ravenclaw
>Crown patronus
Heh
Are rock paper scissors duels still a thing
>Are rock paper scissors duels still a thing
No idea. Just used it for the tests.
By the way: Ravenclaw, Thestral patronus, and unyielding Elder wand (AN Elder wand, not THE Elder Wand) with unicorn core with a penis length of 10 and 3/4 inches.
Tell me what that says about me.
that you're a virgin
I wish I was.
Kinda. It works with the new game, but you can do it separately (and then import it by linking accounts). Google "wizardingworld". You can also find out what material and length chopsticks you should eat your takeout fried rice with. And your spirit animal.
Chris-Chan tier
>Can Voldemort escape alive?
Yes. By letting himself be killed and then taking possession of one of his Horcruxes.
>Eliminative materialists
>Naturalists
>Strict Physicalists
>The Churchlands
>krauss lawrence
>A whole bunch of other fucking ugly arrogant needs
Harry was always a bit close minded. If a scientist witnesses evidence that contradicts his accepted model, the first thing he should do is to doubt his model, not reject the evidence. People like Harry are the reason the scientific method fails in practice.
Underrated post. I hope more people like you exist in the world
Thank you, fuck reductionism, please continue spreading the good word
Methods of rationality is so fucking cringe
Reddit: The fanfiction
>Google the first sentence
>"Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality"
>Immediately discard the rest of the post
peak midwittery
>Methods of Redditionality
Even the smuts about Harry getting fucked by futas is better than this shit
whose pants was he breathing in?
>Harry was breathing in short pants.
HPMOR is a great read if you're happy to just get lost in a long, cozy, funny book.
It's cringe if you start looking too deeply into Yudkowsky/lesswrong/etc, so I suggest not doing that and just enjoying it for its own sake.
Is it a long read?
Yes. At 660k words, it's longer than War and Peace.
Thanks starting now
HPMOR is really cool until you tire of the 30-something author constantly injecting his neckbeardeology.
>Harry was panting. His pupils dilated. His scalp went numb. He coughed up some blood.
Maybe the human brain turns itself into a cat brain in a similar way to a multi-language quine
https://esoteric.codes/blog/the-128-language-quine-relay
and he did them a great service
Why would wizards need phonography? His sons sells rape potion.
>Why would wizards need phonography?
So they can document the proper intonation of their spells in script. Hence Hermione's "It's Leviooohsa, not Leviosaaar".
She couldn't have known that without phonographic notation describing where to put the stress and length in that word.
That's a lot of typing to call me retarded. Pornography*
It's pretty fucked up that Rowling portrays female sexual predation as funny and innocent.
Riddle's mother paid a very large price for her sexual predation which was ultimately death
Did you know that the official house sorting test has a question "would you rather invent a potion that would guarantee you ..." and one of the options you can select is literally "love" and it gives points for fucking Hufflepuff?
What are we supposed to make of that?
I knew Harry influenced the Sorting Hat but I didnt know it asked people questions telepathically
>telepathically
Not telepathically, but via a smartphone app. The books and films really gloss over that.
Sorry sweatie but Harry Potter starts in 1991 or so
>Harry Potter starts in 1991 or so
Wizards had smartphones back then.
The website dumbass
Love potions are a very classic part of witchcraft/magic lore, she had to include them in the HP world somehow.
wtf is wrong with the girl on the left?
She falls in love with Ron, tries to drug him into falling for her and later gets killed by a werewolf.
>You will never have a girlfriend who is madly in love with you so much that she tries to drug you and all you do is make love and snog all day
Ron really had the best girl and threw it away
She looks a bit ugly though and her personality is barely existent.
>bit ugly
Madness. Cutest girl in the films.
shes half weird looking. hermione destroys everyone, saying otherwise is just be contrarian
>everyone
Not quite:
Maybe for a bong I suppose
Didnt know /misc/ was this gay, although her now
Glasses are weird but she’s still good.
Lets also not forget the best dicky, Susan Bones
That's not a French sex demon who wants to fuck you into a coma.
still never understood the nipple hats
Women like that don't want you being the leader of the relationship and a man, it's not "based" or normal.
>Women like that don't want you being the leader of the relationship and a man
incels are fine with this tbh
THICC LEGS
RON, NOT IN PUBLIC
Well Ron did eventually get a look
it's easier to lose your virginity when the chick's really into it, idk why harry didn't smash
Lavender wasn't into him, Romilda Vane was and by that time I doubt he was still a virgin, as that was the same book he hooked up with Ginny.
>I doubt he was still a virgin, as that was the same book he hooked up with Ginny
I doubt they slept with one another during the school year. Their respective dorms were huge group dorms and pretty much always busy. And there wasn't any real private space around school, was there?
>And there wasn't any real private space around school, was there?
Its a giant empty castle without thousands of rooms and staircases. Mrs. Weasley all but admits to fucking Mr. Weasley in an abandoned classroom.
Isn't that at the very least extremely risky? A teacher could enter at any moment. And unless you're into public performances, even just a ghost sneaking up on you or a house elf wandering in to clean would be considered undesirable.
People do it in the real world. Did you not know? My work just fired two people for fucking in the parking lot.
House-elves only leave the kitchen at night, Harry didn't even know there were any in Hogwarts until he was there for four years.
It's a huge castle, man. You as a horny teenager is probably willing to take the risk.
>House-elves only leave the kitchen at night
Common sense suggests that if you want to fuck your girlfriend (or anyone) in your school building, you'll do it at night.
>MISTER POTTER
>Dumbledore asked calmly, his legs stretched akimbo
>DID YOU PUT YOURSELF INSIDE YOUR BEST FRIEND'S LITTLE SISTER?
>INSIDE YOUR BEST FRIEND'S LITTLE SISTER
What happens in the Chamber of Secrets stays in the Chamber of Secrets! Especially when one of the participants is unconcious.
Miss Weasley, despite your anus bleeding continually for the last three weeks. A horrible hemorrhage of humongous proportions. You have yet to leave any bloodstains on the benches of the Great Hall. FIFTY POINTS, FOR GRYFFINDOR.
>tfw you realize that the version of events depicted in the story is just a tall tale Harry made up
>Harry actually killed Squirrel and incinerated his body, then claimed he did it because the victim had been possessed by Voldemort
>Harry unleashes a Basilisk on the school, abducts Ginny Weasely and rapes her, then makes up some story about a possessed diary
>Harry helps a dangerous animal and a convicted murderer escape, excuses it by shifting the blame on his best friend's rat
>Harry kills his rival Cedric who is about to beat him in some shitty tournament, then blames it all on Voldemort
>Harry tries to kill his cousin, blames dementors
>Harry kills Dumbledore, blames it on Snape
>Harry kills Snape and burns down his school, says that Voldemort came back from the dead and did it
>... and "All was well."
Forget about the fucking Room of Requirement? Or the secret passages only he (and two of the girl's older brothers, but w/e, the twins are cool) knew about?
Also it's implied more than once that the castle is far from 100% used. There are hallways with practically no traffic, broom cupboards and such and probably empty rooms.
>the fucking Room of Requirement?
Good point, actually. However ... we know that the room of requirement links to only one single room for hiding stuff. No matter what you want to hide, you get taken to the same room as others who want to hide shit.
Is it the same for the sex room? Is there only one shared sex room for everyone who needs some privacy? And if so, can one couple walk in on another?
Harry and Ron stumble across Ginny sucking Dean's British Broadcasting Corporation. They were just in a stairwell.
It only turns into the communal hiding closet if that's what people need it for. Otherwise it turns Into a classroom for having a secret defense against the dark arts class or hiding a faction of teenage guerrilla wizards
>if that's what people need it for.
Yes, I get that. But what if it turns into some honeymoon-suite type bedroom when students need some romantic alonetime? Is that the same room for everyone?
Probably. I hope the hous elves know to clean the sheets
If only there was a super secret room in the building that presents itself in whatever way the seeker requires....
Hermione might be the most gifted witch of her year, but Lavender was the horniest.
Well, this
plus Amortentia is supposed to smell like the thing you like most in the world, a smell you associate with (presumably carnal) love.
God knows what she was smelling there, but it was probably really enticing for her.
she just coomed
polyjuice and access to high school girls >>> internet porn
>tfw when you draw the short straw again on Polyjuice night
Its been 3 times in a row. Feel like this is rigged.
>polyjuice and access to high school girls
And their cats, anon.
Hermione had the right idea going for Pansy "Bestgirl" Parkinson. But the catgirl transformation was a happy little accident she and Ron should have capitalized on.
Nice waifu you got there. Should would be a shame if something happened to her.
>Pansy is too pretty, go get the bro from Mr. Meaty
>google "Mr Meaty"
Lmao nah man went to be Billie Eilash
>why
Rowling apparently found her too pretty for the role.
so rowling convinced the studios to secretly give her medication to make her uglier?
i'm convinced she convinced the studios to give daniel radcliffe height restricting pills of some kind to keep him small for the role ...
>secretly give her medication to make her uglier?
They recast her, anon. The original actress still looks great. Pic related.
She got recast. And keeping Radcliffe a manlet makes no sense because Harry in the books is a full-on lanklet instead.
There's a line about Harry growing a foot over the summer. Radcliffe probably grew 2 inches during his teenage growth spurt
Are you addicted to saying the word 'convinced'
She's always described in the books as "pug-nosed" so the recast actually fits
She's supposed to be a bitchy cunt
It was Milicent Bulstrode's cat not Pansy's
Was it? Bad decision then.
My mind must have played tricks on me, probably because I assumed that Hermione was intelligent enough to pick the bestgirl.
Where does she appear in the movies? I never see her
>Where does she appear in the movies?
In the background. Usually in Slytherin group scenes and sitting/standing in Draco's vicinity.
He didn't even know how to use a toaster do you really think he could have understood how to use a 1993 computer let alone hook one up to a landline for internet? Most zoomies can't even use devices without voice functionality now, how do you think a wizard totally foreign to human technology could even navigate early 90s internet to find some blurry 45kb image of Pamela Anderson.
I can't wait for the game, bros. I hope there are mods that get rid of all non whites
Give it a couple of days and there will also be porn mods
>denuvo
not so fast Mr. Potter
Stop being freaks! Now!
He didnt actually understand muggles, nor their tech, he was just really interested in it. Same way some muggles are interested in magic etc despite never having met a real wizard.
Is there anything the average wizard understands at all though? They don't ever have language lessons (including their own langauge), no basic maths lessons (even though they do get to learn astronomy, which they'd definitely need advanced maths knowledge for), no basic sciences.
They also don't really seem to be required to understand how their own subjects actually work. There should be some general model for potion-making, for example, like there are models for chemistry, yet all they do is throw things together and hope for the best - not including recipes they look up in books. And apparently there is some kind of theory that allows for improvements and refinements of potions, according to the Half-Blood Prince, since Snape annotated his book with some of those, and seems to have come up with them himself. But no one ever teaches an ounce of that scientific background to the students.
The same is true for jinxes and transformation and such. Apparently there is a scientific approach to that, and a subject called "Magic Theory" where students COULD learn that stuff, but it's an elective for the higher class students that's only offered if enough students show an interest in it in the first place.
Which means that while there are some scholars, the other 99% of wizardkind have no clue whatsoever how the stuff they do all the time actually works. That thought is rather scary.
Then again, maybe Hogwarts is just way worse than all the other magic schools and it's just the Brits who are this uneducated. Hogwarts sure seems awfully subpar in terms of providing education for anything.
>Which means that while there are some scholars, the other 99% of wizardkind have no clue whatsoever how the stuff they do all the time actually works
Hey, our world is exactly like that too.
I think I gave Rowling too little credit. I always thought she was writing emotional crap by the seat of her pants and didn't really care how internally cohesive her world was, but maybe she's a secret genius.
>Hey, our world is exactly like that too.
Not really. Children do learn the basics of physics, biology and chemistry in "middle school" (different concepts depending on different countries), and even those who don't ever use them again after graduating do usually still remember the very basics, or at least that there are basics. Hogwarts outright neglects this.
If the average person had the ability to make their brooms clean their house for them or brew a potion that made them manifest luck, they probably wouldn't care about the particulars either. People are practically chained to the internet and their phones nowadays but probably 1% of the total user base gives half a fuck to understand the mechanics behind how they work, they just learn how to check facebook and look up porno, and hope the fancy machine never breaks
>People are practically chained to the internet and their phones nowadays but probably 1% of the total user base gives half a fuck to understand the mechanics behind how they work
True, but that's because our schools have slept through that development and haven't caught up yet on including computer sciences and information theory into their curricula. But for wizards, magic has been around for centuries, if not millenia, so why wouldn't their schools teach the very basics of something that's this important for all of them?
They warp reality at will, why would they give a fuck about math and shit? They are content with leeching tech off from muggles so they don't even have to bother with coming up with tools to be bewitched.
>They warp reality at will, why would they give a fuck about math and shit?
Astronomy.
Meme subject and I bet they had tools doing most of the leverage for them. Astronomy is mentioned once, maybe twice throughout seven books.
Funny how divination is treated as a joke by everyone but it's far the most important aspect of the story.
Because an actual prophecy happens every 1 million duds. It's actually retard that they have to study tea leaves and all that gay shit when the teacher has seizures whenever satan spoils her the future, testifying how all that crap was useless.
>It's actually retard that they have to study tea leaves and all that gay shit when the teacher has seizures whenever satan spoils her the future, testifying how all that crap was useless.
Dumbledore admits she's only a teacher for security reasons and remove any chance of Voldemort learning the full prophecy from her
It was either that or use magic to remove her legs, arms, tongue, ears and eyes and force her to "live" trap inside a cage
Pretty sadistic from him to subject hundreds of students ti that because he was too lazy to come up with anything better. Plus they had a copy of the prophecy at the ministry. Don't even remember how they didn't find out about it earlier, but alas, there it was.
I don't get your fixation that they should give a shit about any of that when they can just will nearly anything they want out of nothing. They had brooms cleaning the kitchen by themselves when robot vacuums weren't even an idea. Stop rationalizing so hard a story for children about magic.
>when they can just will nearly anything they want out of nothing.
Well, again, I doubt they could just will academical results "out of nothing", like those in the field of astronomy.
Astronomy was most likely retconned out of existence as Divination would make it redundant, and they don't really explain how they studied it anyway, it might just meant knowing all the combinations of zodiac signs and shit.
>Astronomy was most likely retconned out of existence as Divination would make it redundant
>meant knowing all the combinations of zodiac signs
You're confusing astronomy with astrology, mate.
Uops, misread. But still, who knows how they studied it, you're arguing everything over something that was barely a footnote in the books. Maybe Rowling expanded on it in her stupid website, but point is that the fact they apparently studied astronomy doesn't mean that their cultural baggage needs to share anything with ours, because they either don't need it or leech it off from us.
>who knows how they studied it
Unless it's just something completely unrelated to astronomy that they just call astronomy for shits and giggles, I think it's sensible to assume that they studied it like astronomers study it. Maybe more like astronomers of old rather than contemporary ones. They have in common that they have astronomy towers and look up into the stars. And there'd be little point to that if they didn't then go on and apply mathematical models to emulate the movement of those stars.
That is, I'd argue, the absolute minimum for something to justify being called astronomy.
Who knows, man, they study astronomy and yet are too retarded to use phones in the 90s, their priorities are clearly wack.
True. Their priorities are Rowling's priorities.
divination is treated as a joke because it's rare, but looks like actual clairvoyants had a lot of prestige and fame
>Meme subject
I'd argue the whole divination bullshit are meme subjects, at least they're treated as such in canon. (And even there, for arithmancy, you'd probably need some basic maths skills.)
>I bet they had tools doing most of the leverage for them.
Like what? They apparently don't know or understand the concept of automated computing (hence why they have no computers or a magical equivalent to them). And even with computers, astronomers need to have a good grasp of the laws of physics to understand even just the basics, like the movement of planets.
>They apparently don't know or understand the concept of automated computing
They apparently don't have the concept of robots either and yet all of their houseware moves and works on its own; it's magic.
There's a difference between moving something by magic and being able to compute something. The latter gives you a quick and easy way to information and thus unlimited potential to solve problems algorithmically. The former only makes it easier to move and build stuff.
Imagine our world in 10-15 years. There will be no need to learn any of that nerdy shit when we got magic AI to do it for us
>when we got magic AI
AI is just an overhyped pattern recognition tool.
Except that "magic" AI literally still needs human input and supervision to do anything, since Artificial Intelligence is a misnomer. There is nothing intelligent whatsoever about it. Which anyone who delved into the topic (and who isn't a hype monkey trying to fool people into giving him cash) can tell you won't change any time soon, either.
>They also don't really seem to be required to understand how their own subjects actually work.
It's heavily implied that the professors do teach the theory of their own subjects, especially Transfiguration.
Is it? In what ways?
Nta but each teacher see,s to have an aptitude for their chosen subject. Flitwick with Charms, Snape with potions and so on.
Even technically Divination with an actual prophet and History of Magic being taught by a ghost
True. But everything we see them teach is rather superficial. I have no doubts that Snape understands the theory behind potions, but everything we hear is "what do ingredient 1 and ingredient 2 combine to" or "which effect does this ingredient have". In other words, the students aren't taught general abstract concepts, but only individual recipes.
The same with Flitwick's class. There is no talk about theory, just "imitate my wand movement" and "say this word in this way".
The books just don't cover it at length.
You see a very brief snippet of actual theory have had been taught during their OWL exam questions.
The entire basis of the fifth year DATDA class is that its all theory too., which they hate.
>The entire basis of the fifth year DATDA class is that its all theory too., which they hate.
What does someone like Umbridge understand under "theory" though?
The problem is not what we don't see, but what we do see. And we see parts that are purely based on showing something very specific and having the class reproduce the exact same thing. But that's not how people understand what they are doing, they just learn to blindly do it. The moment a single parameter changes, they won't be able to adapt.
Every single time we see anything being taught, it's along those lines. Even the teachers that the books describe as exceptionally competent and successful, like Lupin, are only ever shown doing the exact same thing: Teaching one singular example of a skill or spell, not explaining WHY or HOW the spell works. And none of the students, not even Hermione who is described as studious and curious, ever considers asking a teacher for more theoretical knowledge. And that's just absurd. I myself remember, back when I was at school, personally asking my teachers for more details whenever I thought there might be more to a topic, and that was after they had already introduced a good amount of information. I also vividly remember my classmates, even some of the more simpleminded ones, asking critical questions every now and then.
No discussions like that ever take place in Hogwarts.
>What does someone like Umbridge understand under "theory" though?
It's not Umbridge teaching the class, it's Slinkhard.
>Slinkhard
Wikipedia says he's the author of a book she used. She was still the teacher for that class. Either way, we neither know what exactly she taught, nor what's in the book.
>They do, just offscreen.
I find that hard to believe. Why would every instace of that be offscreened when the contents of classes shown are numerous. And, frankly, let me ask you, did your teachers follow such a strict distinction between theory and practice that they only ever taught practice without any theory on one day, and then theory without practice the next? In my experience, that was almost never the case. Whenever anything was brought up in practice, a scientific experiement in physics or chemistry classes, the teacher would immediately explain the theoretical side of the topic. That seems like a prudent approach. But the lessons that Rowling writes seem like a giant waste of time and effort.
She didn't teach anything, the book was the teacher.
At least read the material before posting.
>She didn't teach anything, the book was the teacher.
She was nominally a teacher and she conducted the lessons. Even if the lessons followed the book strictly, it is still the teacher's responsibility.
The entire drive for DA was due to the book being the teacher. She was just there to observe
Shit the fuck up you autistic fuck. You have the answers, and you still refuse to listen.
Any answer you get is for you to poorly criticise, that is clear.
Now die.
>You have the answers, and you still refuse to listen.
Sorry to say this, but your answers are trash. No, it being a kids book does not mean the lessons we are shown aren't bullshit. If we want to evaluate how well educated students and alumni are on average, we need to look at what we are shown, whether it's a kids book or not.
>your answers
So you do have autism?
It's a kids book anon.
The answers you're looking for do not exist.
Kids book.
moron it frequently skips time and doesn't go over what's actually taught. Half the time they're in class the characters are fucking around and not paying attention anyway.
Another one hooked
>skips time and doesn't go over what's actually taught.
I'd dispute that. Between the books and the films, we see some lessons in great detail. We see Harry's first potion lesson with Snape. We see the Wingardium Leviosa practice. We see Lupin's whole class on boggarts. We see how Snape teaches about werewolves. We see the fake Moody teach unforgivable curses. We also see a good amount of divination, but the characters themselves call that one out for being useless. I'd argue we see enough of the lessons to actually get a good picture of them, or at least the picture that Rowling wanted to paint of them.
>We see Harry's first potion lesson with Snape. We see the Wingardium Leviosa practice. We see Lupin's whole class on boggarts. We see how Snape teaches about werewolves. We see the fake Moody teach unforgivable curses
What a coincidence these are exclusively film related classes. Interesting you omit the ones exclusively from the books.
Almost like you haven't read them.
>Almost like you haven't read them.
It's been a while, admittedly. Which ones do you suggest I should look into that I didn't mention?
Most of the fifth year novel should cover it.
Give me one. I'm not going to reread the entire book right now.
Why not?
Because I don't have the time to read an entire book just for this thread. Much less before this thread dies.
So you don't have an argument. As expected.
Why not?
Are you clinically retarded?
Why?
>you not putting in the effort is also your out
Figured as much.
You may have the last post. I grant you this.
>not putting in the effort
How quickly do you expect me to read through a whole book, shitposter? This thread is already past the bump limit and instead of making a concise point, you're trying to buy time until it runs out. That's ingerently dishonest and you obviously have no point to in the first place.
I asked you for evidence for your bullshit claims, your answer was just "scourge a whopping 500 pages for a single page of evidence".
>ingerently
lol retard
Yeah, you've found the typo. G and H are so far apart on a keyboard, aren't they?
Hadn't I been sure by now that you're just a dishonest piece of shit, that alone would suffice as evidence.
>every anon is the same single person
Autistic and retarded? Good match.
So much for that.
Too bad, up until a point this discussion actually went well.
>G and H are so far apart on a keyboard, aren't they?
About the length of your dick lmaos
LMAO GET DABBED ON
Imagine being so elitist and still getting fucked by two anons who can't use grammar lol
Grammar is for Nazis, Gamers use 1337 speak.
> I want to half ass this whole approach
No, read the book and gain the knowledge first hand.
>still hasn't even read the source material
>completely ignores the O.W.Ls
They do, just offscreen. As evidenced by the exam papers.
Kids books.
You have autism.
It's magic.
Indeed. And people go to Hogwarts to learn said magic. The question is how it is taught.
It's a children's/ young adult series. There is no need to do that. We don't follow Hermiones lessons outside of History of Magic which does deal with some of that.
We don't see Arithmancy or Runes
Honestly this wasn't too dissimilar from my high school experience - maths and computer science aside we didn't really learn the nuts and bolts behind anything until the final years where we could choose our own subjects. I remember year 7 being full of events like "hey put your sunglasses on, kids. I'm setting fire to this strip of magnesium."
Sorry to hear that. If you don't mind me asking, how did those teachers go about testing you guys?
I honestly don't remember too much, I think outside of English, which was usually creative or persuasive writing as a forerunner to later essays and better creative writing tasks, much of it was simple testing on retained knowledge. I remember year 7 geography being a multiple choice test with often questions relating to simple definitions or recalling the correct name for things - "how do you calculate slope gradient" (rise over run) or "what is the correct name for (tool that serves some purpose)". Quite a lot of hands on assessments too like making dioramas for History or beating the teacher at Aztec snakes and ladders, making skill testers for woodwork/electronics, having to cook and bring in a dish to class for Food Tech (home ec), reading/speaking/very basic writing tests for language classes, basic performance and melodic dictation testing for Music (didn't learn actual theory til 9&10 where they assumed anyone still taking it already knew it all and was just interested in unique edge cases like Medieval Modes, Baroque and Blues, simple research and experiment assignments for Science usually culminating in class presentations, making stuff in photoshop and flash for computer tech after it stopped being about the history and theory of computing, etc etc.
Probably why Maths was my worst subject the whole way through, basically the purest theory based testing, but the teachers skimmed the underpinning theory because they assumed we all did tutoring. I only recall how basic trigonometry works, and how to calculate simple and compound interest. Quadratics completely lost me as the teacher would mumble into the board and give us detention for not having grasped any of it. Calculus was reserved for students who took maths in the final years.
As a result the weird teaching depicted in Rowling's otherwise rather hacky writing was one of the few things I never criticised, it rang true enough to my experience.
Also worth noting, this was at a public selective school, thus accounting for why it often came off as more "interesting extended reading" and why many concepts were presumed as granted/assumed knowledge
They have living paintings. Probably some lewd ones too that would interract with you while you stuff the good ol' wand up your ass while masturbating and choking on a belt if you know what I mean
>internet
If he had ever even heard of it he absolutely mistook it as some kind of fishing equipment.
For me, it's Narcissa Malfoy
For me, Tonks before her tits disappeared
She was nude in Game of Thrones and I didnt notice any scarring on her boobs. Maybe CGI'd out in post production
she's been nude in later works too and barely has any tits, weird
RIP cissy / helen mcrory
maybe try watching penny dreadful for more
An absolute milf up to her death last year.
Is relating to the villains a chuddian trait? Ever since I was a young boy I always related to the villain. I want to have my own moment where I can go on a Light Yagami esque rant or surpass my own humanity like Voldemort and become a monster through extreme knowledge.
>surpass my own humanity like Voldemort and become a monster through extreme knowledge.
Literally pointless unless your profession is influential in some manner. Autistically studying that has no sway is gay
>TFW no ghost GF
Feels Bad Man
Myrtle takes a bath with Harry and keeps looking under the water at his bathing suit area
She was an adolescent looking like 45 when she died. I get why she was getting bullied, really.
Common wizard affliction. Harry's parents died in their early 20s looking like they were in their 40s. McGonaggal was around 50 but looked 70+.
They just age really fast but then live really long as old people, apparently. Probably the worst kind of long life one can have, as over half of your lifespan is spent as an elderly person.
>Live half your lifespan being retired and never having to work doing what you want
sounds like paradise
>McGonaggal was around 50
Then how come she was already a teacher at Hogwarts in the 1930 when Dumbledore and Grindelwald were young?
Time Turner accident.
Because that's probably a retcon from one of the garbage sequels and prequels that I never watched or read.
yeah but why was she played by Daniel Radcliffe in a wig?
Best Harry potter film coming through!
Dude couldn’t turn on a toaster without Harry’s help, you think he set up an internet connection?
Why would you rely on limited muggle media when you could have an enchanted photograph where you can talk to the performers and have interactive porn?
>Kids school photos
>???
>fbi!
I'm sure there were at least some Daily Prophet articles featuring sexy witches
>featuring sexy witches
Well, there was one about Bellatrix breaking out of prison, I think. That counts.
Harry got lewd photos from milf witches. They sent them via owl.
>no evil mommy gf
I suffer.
>no dentist in Azkaban
>dentist
I'm pretty sure slughorn and co are baffled by hermione's parents job, all they need to do is wave their wand and their teeth are fixed
>all they need to do is wave their wand and their teeth are fixed
Not sure that works. You can't magically fix eyesight, hence why wizards wears glasses. Even the spell "occulus reparo" which should, according to its name, repair the eyes, only repairs glasses.
So why would teeth be a different matter?
Hermione's front teeth were fixed in the process of reversing a curse. Maybe you cant permanently change your appearance only for vanity
Sounds like one of Rowling's lazy inconsistencies.
Because Hermione gets hit by a stray curse in book 4 that makes her front teeth grow and has to run to the hospital to get it fixed, at which point, deciding that she was done having buck teeth, she let the nurse carry on longer than necessary so they shrunk to normal size instead of their previous (excessive) size.
If it works on the front teeth, it works on the others.
Imagine being Voldemort, being all like
"Deh bro, I'm so horny"
And you call up Bellatrix to give you some sloppy toppy and you're all ready and you see her chompers looking like a ghoul so you just hit it from the back and she ends up pregnant with some girl who later goes on to star in a stage show.
Dentists are scared of dementors
No, that's just because she's a british witch
>tfw he'll never play an old johnny rotten in a movie
we have been robbed of kino lads
Who else here team Luna? She's best girl
Here.
Luna Lovegood newds, you say?
Arthur didn't know shit about muggles.
he dont look too good nowadays
>All his kids move from home
>Wife accidently kill herself toying with a gun he took from work not even knowing what it was
>His children never forgive him
>Fire from his job
> The great vault door groaned as it swung open, and Harry and Professor Dumbledore quickly strode in.
> Dumbledore's breath caught in his throat as his eyes alighted upon the massive piles of gold and silver coins, precious gems and pristine treasures which glittered in the dim light.
> "My word, Harry. I had no idea you were quite so... affluent..." His brow furrowed inquisitively.
> "Thanks, Professor," Harry said as he filled his purse with a fistful of galleons. "My parents left me quite a lot. I'm really thankful to them."
> "Yes, yes..." Dumbledore murmured, as he began to casually sifted through a pile of golden trinkets near the door. "Harry, your mother Lily - her maiden name was Evans, wasn't it?"
> "That's right."
> Dumbledore dug deeper into the pile. "And her mother's maiden name, what was that?"
> "Err... Smith, I think."
> "Indeed... and her mother's mother?"
> "Let's see, it was, err... Steinberg. Why do you ask, Professor?"
> But Dumbledore has already found his answer. Shining unmistakably at the bottom of the pile was the golden menorah.
> "No matter... say Harry, what is that in the corner there?"
> No sooner had Harry turned to follow Dumbledore's pointing finger than he felt some metal object strike him in the back of the head, with such force that he was thrown to the cold stone floor.
> By the time he looked up, Dumbledore was already shutting the vault door.
> "Professor!" Harry pleaded, "You can't just leave me in here!"
> "Fear not, my boy," Dumbledore uttered calmly over the groaning of the hinges, "Arbeit macht frei." Then there was only darkness.
Was Arthur Weasley a chud?
EVEN BETTER THAN THAT
?t=8
>read prisoner of azkaban
>Harry meets Cedric Diggory
>Harry meets and faces off against Cho Chang
Goddamn
I've just started Goblet of fire, I feel like it's going to be way better than the film
Snape seems way crazier than he does in the films
Goblet of Fire is one of the best of the books. I think it's the one that most effectively bats your mind back and forth between different possible answers to the mystery.
Yes, I just reread the other week. The films are just awful as adaptations go, 5 especially.
Enjoy the quidditch world cup the movie cuck you out off!
5 and 6 books are also way better compared to the movies
Yeah, but veela hookers
I don't get why people are so hung up on the education the students receive
Why aren't you?
Imagine all the interactive JOI wizard porn
so how come wizards dont know anything about muggles while having people like hermoine whos literally a normal muggle girl
This gay couldn't decipher the purpose of a rubber duck. The wizarding world is willfully retarded when it comes to muggles.
Well? What is the purpose?
What is the actual purpose of a rubber duck?
You get given one and what? What do you do with it? How do you know to use it? Where does it go?
Simple cheap bath toy for young muggle children. Occasionally gifted as a knick-knack or gag gift to adults.
And how do you know this just by looking at a rubber duck?
You're using bias to reach a conclusion you shouldn't be able to make based on assumed knowledge.
Arthur asked because he did not have this knowledge.
The events of Harry Potter took place in the 90s. He didn't understand the simplest muggle devices, let alone accessing dial-up Internet. It's much more likely Arthur knew about Page 3 girls and ripped them out of The Sun. why do you think he loved his shed outside the burrow? you just know he kept his stash somewhere in there
>you will never sniff Luna's armpit bush
I would love to inhale deeply Luna's pubic hair and vagine
ACCIO LUNA LOVEGOOD'S PANTIES
>oooh no Harry, my panties have mysteriously disappeared
Why are people so obsessed over a children's book franchise?