I just realized Arthur Weasley was more than likely aware that muggles have porn on their internet, but didnt tell his sons

I just realized Arthur Weasley was more than likely aware that muggles have porn on their internet, but didnt tell his sons

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Homeless People Are Sexy Shirt $21.68

Schizophrenic Conspiracy Theorist Shirt $21.68

  1. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    their universe sells rape drugs at gag gift shops

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      His sons sold rape drugs at their gag gift shop.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        In the 2nd book Lockheart does a valentines day event where he encourages students to buy rape potions and learn roofie charms.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          To be fair Lockheart isn't the most lawful wizard or even qualified to be a teacher

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            He's a saint though. He had prime English roses tossing themselves at him and he did nothing.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          To be fair Lockheart isn't the most lawful wizard or even qualified to be a teacher

          Hypothetical question:
          What if, instead of Gilderoy, it had been Tifa Lockheart teaching the students Defense Against the Dark Arts, but not with spells, but with Kickboxing?

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Sounds better than half the teachers Harry had for the subject

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        their universe sells rape drugs at gag gift shops

        In the 2nd book Lockheart does a valentines day event where he encourages students to buy rape potions and learn roofie charms.

        Girl at 04.46 https://youtu.be/3vUtg20L7LM

        Would by my love potion target

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Patrician choice.
          The small student at 3:50 would also get a "love spell"

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      also remember it was implied in the books Voldemort could not feel or understand love because he was a product of his mum using a love potion on his dad to conceive him.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        That is one aspect yes but also his mom also gave up on life rather than raising him, also grew up in an orphanage during world war 2 which would dampen anyone spirit

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          That's because her brother and father were taken away by Aurors for the murders of Riddle Sr. and his parents. Merope literally could not fend for herself without the assistance of Marvolo & Morfin, especially since she was pregnant. She only barely made it to the orphanage and dropped him from her uterus before she died.
          The movie omits the implied female-on-male rape that led to the conception, as well as how Tom came to be at the orphanage.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Movie skipping almost all his memories was dumb
            A TV show with enough time for each and Snape classes would be kino

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              >Tragicomedy following Snape's daily life

              What does he do all day when he's not being Potter's secret bodyguard?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                he cries and gets fricked up on potion ingredients

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >What does he do all day when he's not being Potter's secret bodyguard?
                Probably fending off advances from female students. Or not fending them off in his weaker moments ...

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >hook-nosed, greasy, pasty, rude and petty child-abusing fricker who lives in a dungeon getting any pussy
                I thought most fangirls moved on from HP at this point.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                He's by far the youngest teacher (youngest staff member even). He has that brooding goth boy aura around him that young girls are into. And the fangirl reaction to him shows that lots of young Slitherin girls in-universe would also have wanted to frick him.
                Who do you think was their projection space for all their teenage lust? Dumbledore? Hagrid? Flitwick Davis?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >Who do you think was their projection space for all their teenage lust?
                According to my unreleased fanfics they usually projected their teenage lust all over each other and then they'd rub it in and kiss some more.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Lesbianism isn't as common as the porn industry would make you believe.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                They aren't lesbians its just for practice and things get out of hand.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >He has that brooding goth boy aura around him
                No he doesn't. He's an ugly creep. You're thinking of Alan Rickman who is both older and much more good looking than the character was ever supposed to be, and who is acting in movies that downplay or outright omit his most petty and despicable moments to make him seem less like an unrepentant butthole who likes torturing a little boy because his dad (who died when the kid was 1yo) made a move on the girl he lost thanks to his own mistakes.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >He's an ugly creep.
                Any you think moronic teenage girls care? They love the archetype. If he's a bad boy as well, that just adds some bonus points.
                >who likes torturing a little boy because his dad (who died when the kid was 1yo) made a move on the girl he lost
                To be fair, Harry is dumb as frick and deserved it.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Once again, they "love the archetype" when the guy is reasonably good looking at least, has some redeeming features and displays moments of emotional vulnerability - aka, movie Snape.
                Book Snape is almost a different character and I would not be surprised if he canonically died a virgin from both his extreme case of oneitis and general unlikableness.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                I'm aware that book-Snape is different. My thesis is that for teen girls looks don't matter as much as archetyped, and being harsh and cold and even cruel might not be a negative to them.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                If you're really going to argue this, Snape as the cruel ugly creep frick is from your male perspective. Women read Snape, see literally one instance of movie Snape, and everything onwards book Snape does is viewed as if his movie side was doing it. It's how it is.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Snape fangirls only exist because of Alan Rickman

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                I believe Snape is a virgin canonically

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                He was alone with Lilly's corpse for an awfully long time.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Just because Harry didn't see him frick around in his memories, that doesn't mean it never happened.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                He was alone with Lilly's corpse for an awfully long time.

                It doesnt seem like any of the Hogwarts teachers or employees have romantic relationships while they're at the school but no one knows what they do during the breaks

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >while they're at the school
                What if they get it going with another teacher?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >implied that voldemort was so fricked in the head only because he was conceived under the effects of a love potion
        >this is never brought up again despite there probably being thousands of wizard sociopaths running around

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        And she got it on discount

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      If your good enough at magic in the harry potter universe you can hide your home from everybody in the magic world and they will have now way to find it.
      Then you can insta pop up all over the world and use brainwashing spells on supermodels&actresses&etc.... to turn them in happy sex slaves and take them with your insta travel magic to your secret hideout and create your own harem.
      Harry potter universe is broken as frick if you really want to be a evil fricker.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        This is why it works as a whimsical children's fantasy setting where depravity isn't a thing. People like you and to a greater extent Tumblr womanchildren overthink this stuff and morph it into degenerate fan fiction

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      can't rape the willing

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      You just *know* Fred & George used their love potion on Ginny and their mum, followed by obliviate.

      > victimless crime

      Fr though, have you ever considered the insane power dynamic the teachers potentially could have on their students? Snape definitely used memory charms&potions to have orgies with the Slytherin 3rd years in the dungeons.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        That's why they have portraits everywhere, to snitch on sex offenders

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >sex offenders
          "Offense is not given, offense is taken!"

  2. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    wasn't it set in the 90s?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Deathly Hallows takes place in 97-98. Wasnt internet porn a thing by that time? The first time I watched internet porn was in 2005 at a friend's place when his parents werent home, and it seemed internet porn was a pretty common thing by that time with RedTube having 10,000 videos

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        ok nvm checked and RedTube launched in 2007
        I still remember free porn sites were already a thing, and Brazzers launched in 2006 iirc

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          there were lots of porn sites with free clips, there was p2p and kazaa, I'd find cheese pizza and think nothing of it, then I'd find adult women and cum buckets

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >Wasnt internet porn a thing by that time?

        It was but it was mostly still images. Downloading videos took a loooong time if you could even find them.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          reminds me of this scene from the simpsons

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Internet porn is as old as the internet itself, but there was a stage for maybe the first 10 years (the '90s) when it was relatively restrained. It didn't explode in abundance and popularity until digital cameras took over, and one could make and distribute porn without needing film developed

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Homie, we're talking about images that loaded in horizontal segments. So I mean yeah, but..

        if anything we're talking about HBO and Cinemax raunchy shit

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      They had internet porn in the 90s, dumb zoomie

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Except a 20 minute scene took 3-6 hours to download.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      You could load pictures one line of pixels at a time.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >A Survey of 917,410 Images, Description, Short Stories and Animations Downloaded 8.5 Million Times by Consumers in Over 2000 Cities in Forty Countries, Provinces and Territories"[5] by Martin Rimm, a Carnegie Mellon University graduate student, claimed that (as of 1994) 83.5% of the images on Usenet newsgroups where images were stored were pornographic in nature

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      he probably had a magic cabinet where he was hiding all the rare perverted 90's VHS tapes. all the Snuff and amateur stuff (nuns shitting on each other etc.)

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      There was porn on the internet in the 90's, but it was a lot easier to just buy a dirty magazine at a convenience store at the time.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah I didn't think they had the internet in the 90s, there were no smart phones, so how would you be able to get online?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        With dumb phones.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Deathly Hallows takes place in 97-98. Wasnt internet porn a thing by that time? The first time I watched internet porn was in 2005 at a friend's place when his parents werent home, and it seemed internet porn was a pretty common thing by that time with RedTube having 10,000 videos

      the hun dot com

      t. boomer

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        wasn't it huns? i used to spend hours on that

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >i used to spend hours on that
          And that was just the loading time each day!

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Wizards don't use electricity

  3. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    He 100% had some playboy magazines

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Why? Surely there are wizard equivalents with moving images, IE porn.

  4. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >zoomers watching Harry Potter
    >"bruh y aint dey using dey ifones n shieeet? no cap fr fr on gawd"

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Wow hilarious, good one

  5. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    What internet? HP was set in the early to mid 90s.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Home internet starting being rolled out in '92. And I'd assume there was porn on BBSs before that. So it would have just been pictures but it's possible

  6. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    What did he think of the result of the OJ trial.
    Did he believe Michael Jackson was a pedophile
    Actually with how huge MJ was probably even most wizards knew him, although they probably only heard the music and never saw the videos.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Some muggle born students develop a moonwalk spell during MJ popularity peak but was forbidden shortly after due to it having a chance of being permanent

  7. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >At once the small tabby cat morphed back up into a robed woman.
    >“I’m sorry, Mr. Potter,” McGonagall said, sounding sincere, though her lips were twitching toward a smile. “I should have warned you.”
    >Harry was breathing in short pants. His voice came out choked. “You can’t do that!”
    >“It’s only a Transfiguration,” said McGonagall. “An Animagus transformation, to be exact.”
    >“You turned into a cat! A small cat! You violated Conservation of Energy! That’s not just an arbitrary rule, it’s implied by the form of the quantum Hamiltonian! Rejecting it destroys unitarity and then you get ftl signaling! And cats are complicated! A human mind can’t just visualize a whole cat’s anatomy and, and all the cat biochemistry, and what about the neurology? How can you go on thinking using a catsized brain?”
    >McGonagall’s lips were twitching harder now. “Magic.”
    >“Magic isn’t enough to do that! You’d have to be a god!”
    >McGonagall blinked. “That’s the first time I’ve ever been called that.”
    >A blur was coming over Harry’s vision, as his brain started to comprehend what had just broken. The whole idea of a unified universe with mathematically regular laws, that was what had been flushed down the toilet; the whole notion of physics. Three thousand years of resolving big complicated things into smaller pieces, discovering that the music of the planets was the same tune as a falling apple, finding that the true laws were perfectly universal and had no exceptions anywhere and took the form of simple math governing the smallest parts, not to mention that the mind was the brain and the brain was made of neurons, a brain was what a person was—

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I don't get it. Did the cat suck him off?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      how autistic does someone have to be to write this shit

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >how autistic does someone have to be to write this shit
        Ravenclaw-tier autistic.
        I'm allowed to say that because I apparently am a Ravenclaw myself, according to that personality test thingy.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >take potter test confident I'm Hufflepuff
          >gives me Gryffindor
          >no redos
          FRICKING PIECE OF SHIT HAT

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Cinemaphile is for Ravenclaw and Slytherin chads only.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            >gives me Gryffindor
            Sorry to hear that, anon. Easily the worst house, whose major trait is a lack of risk-awareness and common-sense.
            You can delete your account though and make a new one to try again. I think for Hufflepuff you should pick all the overly friendly options, anything with nature, plants, animals, the element of earth and homely and cozy stuff.
            Avoid anything that sounds dangerous/adventurous, swords, wands, the element of fire and outright statements of bravery and facing things head-on.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              You sound like a huge homosexual

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Slytherin moment

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Nah, he's an overly sensitive Gryffindor. Slytherins wouldn't insult anyone who openly calls Gryffindor the worst and points out their negative traits. Slytherins would applaud and join in.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Is it for the new game? Can you do it without buying it?

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            The Pottermore shit, it's shocking to me that somebody who could care doesn't know already.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              Kinda. It works with the new game, but you can do it separately (and then import it by linking accounts). Google "wizardingworld". You can also find out what material and length chopsticks you should eat your takeout fried rice with. And your spirit animal.

              Thanks, last time I use it was still call Pottermore but I lost my account
              >Ravenclaw
              >Crown patronus
              Heh
              Are rock paper scissors duels still a thing

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >Are rock paper scissors duels still a thing
                No idea. Just used it for the tests.
                By the way: Ravenclaw, Thestral patronus, and unyielding Elder wand (AN Elder wand, not THE Elder Wand) with unicorn core with a penis length of 10 and 3/4 inches.
                Tell me what that says about me.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                that you're a virgin

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                I wish I was.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Kinda. It works with the new game, but you can do it separately (and then import it by linking accounts). Google "wizardingworld". You can also find out what material and length chopsticks you should eat your takeout fried rice with. And your spirit animal.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Chris-Chan tier

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >Can Voldemort escape alive?
          Yes. By letting himself be killed and then taking possession of one of his Horcruxes.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >Eliminative materialists
        >Naturalists
        >Strict Physicalists
        >The Churchlands
        >krauss lawrence
        >A whole bunch of other fricking ugly arrogant needs

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Harry was always a bit close minded. If a scientist witnesses evidence that contradicts his accepted model, the first thing he should do is to doubt his model, not reject the evidence. People like Harry are the reason the scientific method fails in practice.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Underrated post. I hope more people like you exist in the world

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Thank you, frick reductionism, please continue spreading the good word

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Methods of rationality is so fricking cringe

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Reddit: The fanfiction

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >Google the first sentence
      >"Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality"
      >Immediately discard the rest of the post

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      peak midwittery

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >Methods of Redditionality
      Even the smuts about Harry getting fricked by futas is better than this shit

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      whose pants was he breathing in?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >Harry was breathing in short pants.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      HPMOR is a great read if you're happy to just get lost in a long, cozy, funny book.
      It's cringe if you start looking too deeply into Yudkowsky/lesswrong/etc, so I suggest not doing that and just enjoying it for its own sake.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Is it a long read?

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Yes. At 660k words, it's longer than War and Peace.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Thanks starting now

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        HPMOR is really cool until you tire of the 30-something author constantly injecting his neckbeardeology.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >Harry was panting. His pupils dilated. His scalp went numb. He coughed up some blood.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Maybe the human brain turns itself into a cat brain in a similar way to a multi-language quine
      https://esoteric.codes/blog/the-128-language-quine-relay

  8. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    and he did them a great service

  9. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Why would wizards need phonography? His sons sells rape potion.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >Why would wizards need phonography?
      So they can document the proper intonation of their spells in script. Hence Hermione's "It's Leviooohsa, not Leviosaaar".
      She couldn't have known that without phonographic notation describing where to put the stress and length in that word.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        That's a lot of typing to call me moronic. Pornography*

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      It's pretty fricked up that Rowling portrays female sexual predation as funny and innocent.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Riddle's mother paid a very large price for her sexual predation which was ultimately death

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Did you know that the official house sorting test has a question "would you rather invent a potion that would guarantee you ..." and one of the options you can select is literally "love" and it gives points for fricking Hufflepuff?
          What are we supposed to make of that?

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            I knew Harry influenced the Sorting Hat but I didnt know it asked people questions telepathically

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              >telepathically
              Not telepathically, but via a smartphone app. The books and films really gloss over that.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Sorry sweatie but Harry Potter starts in 1991 or so

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >Harry Potter starts in 1991 or so
                Wizards had smartphones back then.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              The website dumbass

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Love potions are a very classic part of witchcraft/magic lore, she had to include them in the HP world somehow.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      wtf is wrong with the girl on the left?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        She falls in love with Ron, tries to drug him into falling for her and later gets killed by a werewolf.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >You will never have a girlfriend who is madly in love with you so much that she tries to drug you and all you do is make love and snog all day

          Ron really had the best girl and threw it away

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            She looks a bit ugly though and her personality is barely existent.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              >bit ugly
              Madness. Cutest girl in the films.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                shes half weird looking. hermione destroys everyone, saying otherwise is just be contrarian

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >everyone
                Not quite:

                >polyjuice and access to high school girls
                And their cats, anon.
                Hermione had the right idea going for Pansy "Bestgirl" Parkinson. But the catgirl transformation was a happy little accident she and Ron should have capitalized on.

                >secretly give her medication to make her uglier?
                They recast her, anon. The original actress still looks great. Pic related.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Maybe for a bong I suppose

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              Women like that don't want you being the leader of the relationship and a man, it's not "based" or normal.

              Didnt know Cinemaphile was this gay, although her now

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Glasses are weird but she’s still good.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Lets also not forget the best dicky, Susan Bones

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              That's not a French sex demon who wants to frick you into a coma.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                still never understood the nipple hats

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Women like that don't want you being the leader of the relationship and a man, it's not "based" or normal.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              >Women like that don't want you being the leader of the relationship and a man
              incels are fine with this tbh

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            THICC LEGS

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous
            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              RON, NOT IN PUBLIC

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              Well Ron did eventually get a look

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            it's easier to lose your virginity when the chick's really into it, idk why harry didn't smash

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              Lavender wasn't into him, Romilda Vane was and by that time I doubt he was still a virgin, as that was the same book he hooked up with Ginny.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >I doubt he was still a virgin, as that was the same book he hooked up with Ginny
                I doubt they slept with one another during the school year. Their respective dorms were huge group dorms and pretty much always busy. And there wasn't any real private space around school, was there?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >And there wasn't any real private space around school, was there?
                Its a giant empty castle without thousands of rooms and staircases. Mrs. Weasley all but admits to fricking Mr. Weasley in an abandoned classroom.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Isn't that at the very least extremely risky? A teacher could enter at any moment. And unless you're into public performances, even just a ghost sneaking up on you or a house elf wandering in to clean would be considered undesirable.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                People do it in the real world. Did you not know? My work just fired two people for fricking in the parking lot.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                House-elves only leave the kitchen at night, Harry didn't even know there were any in Hogwarts until he was there for four years.
                It's a huge castle, man. You as a horny teenager is probably willing to take the risk.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >House-elves only leave the kitchen at night
                Common sense suggests that if you want to frick your girlfriend (or anyone) in your school building, you'll do it at night.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >MISTER POTTER
                >Dumbledore asked calmly, his legs stretched akimbo
                >DID YOU PUT YOURSELF INSIDE YOUR BEST FRIEND'S LITTLE SISTER?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >INSIDE YOUR BEST FRIEND'S LITTLE SISTER
                What happens in the Chamber of Secrets stays in the Chamber of Secrets! Especially when one of the participants is unconcious.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Miss Weasley, despite your anus bleeding continually for the last three weeks. A horrible hemorrhage of humongous proportions. You have yet to leave any bloodstains on the benches of the Great Hall. FIFTY POINTS, FOR GRYFFINDOR.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >INSIDE YOUR BEST FRIEND'S LITTLE SISTER
                What happens in the Chamber of Secrets stays in the Chamber of Secrets! Especially when one of the participants is unconcious.

                >tfw you realize that the version of events depicted in the story is just a tall tale Harry made up
                >Harry actually killed Squirrel and incinerated his body, then claimed he did it because the victim had been possessed by Voldemort
                >Harry unleashes a Basilisk on the school, abducts Ginny Weasely and rapes her, then makes up some story about a possessed diary
                >Harry helps a dangerous animal and a convicted murderer escape, excuses it by shifting the blame on his best friend's rat
                >Harry kills his rival Cedric who is about to beat him in some shitty tournament, then blames it all on Voldemort
                >Harry tries to kill his cousin, blames dementors
                >Harry kills Dumbledore, blames it on Snape
                >Harry kills Snape and burns down his school, says that Voldemort came back from the dead and did it
                >... and "All was well."

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Forget about the fricking Room of Requirement? Or the secret passages only he (and two of the girl's older brothers, but w/e, the twins are cool) knew about?
                Also it's implied more than once that the castle is far from 100% used. There are hallways with practically no traffic, broom cupboards and such and probably empty rooms.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >the fricking Room of Requirement?
                Good point, actually. However ... we know that the room of requirement links to only one single room for hiding stuff. No matter what you want to hide, you get taken to the same room as others who want to hide shit.
                Is it the same for the sex room? Is there only one shared sex room for everyone who needs some privacy? And if so, can one couple walk in on another?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Harry and Ron stumble across Ginny sucking Dean's British Broadcasting Corporation. They were just in a stairwell.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                It only turns into the communal hiding closet if that's what people need it for. Otherwise it turns Into a classroom for having a secret defense against the dark arts class or hiding a faction of teenage guerrilla wizards

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >if that's what people need it for.
                Yes, I get that. But what if it turns into some honeymoon-suite type bedroom when students need some romantic alonetime? Is that the same room for everyone?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Probably. I hope the hous elves know to clean the sheets

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                If only there was a super secret room in the building that presents itself in whatever way the seeker requires....

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Hermione might be the most gifted witch of her year, but Lavender was the horniest.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Well, this

        Hermione might be the most gifted witch of her year, but Lavender was the horniest.

        plus Amortentia is supposed to smell like the thing you like most in the world, a smell you associate with (presumably carnal) love.
        God knows what she was smelling there, but it was probably really enticing for her.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        she just coomed

  10. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    polyjuice and access to high school girls >>> internet porn

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >tfw when you draw the short straw again on Polyjuice night
      Its been 3 times in a row. Feel like this is rigged.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >polyjuice and access to high school girls
      And their cats, anon.
      Hermione had the right idea going for Pansy "Bestgirl" Parkinson. But the catgirl transformation was a happy little accident she and Ron should have capitalized on.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Nice waifu you got there. Should would be a shame if something happened to her.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >Pansy is too pretty, go get the homie from Mr. Meaty

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            >google "Mr Meaty"
            Lmao nah man went to be Billie Eilash

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >why
          Rowling apparently found her too pretty for the role.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          so rowling convinced the studios to secretly give her medication to make her uglier?
          i'm convinced she convinced the studios to give daniel radcliffe height restricting pills of some kind to keep him small for the role ...

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            >secretly give her medication to make her uglier?
            They recast her, anon. The original actress still looks great. Pic related.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            She got recast. And keeping Radcliffe a manlet makes no sense because Harry in the books is a full-on lanklet instead.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              There's a line about Harry growing a foot over the summer. Radcliffe probably grew 2 inches during his teenage growth spurt

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Are you addicted to saying the word 'convinced'

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          She's always described in the books as "pug-nosed" so the recast actually fits
          She's supposed to be a b***hy c**t

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        It was Milicent Bulstrode's cat not Pansy's

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Was it? Bad decision then.
          My mind must have played tricks on me, probably because I assumed that Hermione was intelligent enough to pick the bestgirl.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Where does she appear in the movies? I never see her

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >Where does she appear in the movies?
          In the background. Usually in Slytherin group scenes and sitting/standing in Draco's vicinity.

  11. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    He didn't even know how to use a toaster do you really think he could have understood how to use a 1993 computer let alone hook one up to a landline for internet? Most zoomies can't even use devices without voice functionality now, how do you think a wizard totally foreign to human technology could even navigate early 90s internet to find some blurry 45kb image of Pamela Anderson.

  12. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I can't wait for the game, bros. I hope there are mods that get rid of all non whites

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Give it a couple of days and there will also be porn mods

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >denuvo
        not so fast Mr. Potter

  13. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Stop being freaks! Now!

  14. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    He didnt actually understand muggles, nor their tech, he was just really interested in it. Same way some muggles are interested in magic etc despite never having met a real wizard.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Is there anything the average wizard understands at all though? They don't ever have language lessons (including their own langauge), no basic maths lessons (even though they do get to learn astronomy, which they'd definitely need advanced maths knowledge for), no basic sciences.
      They also don't really seem to be required to understand how their own subjects actually work. There should be some general model for potion-making, for example, like there are models for chemistry, yet all they do is throw things together and hope for the best - not including recipes they look up in books. And apparently there is some kind of theory that allows for improvements and refinements of potions, according to the Half-Blood Prince, since Snape annotated his book with some of those, and seems to have come up with them himself. But no one ever teaches an ounce of that scientific background to the students.
      The same is true for jinxes and transformation and such. Apparently there is a scientific approach to that, and a subject called "Magic Theory" where students COULD learn that stuff, but it's an elective for the higher class students that's only offered if enough students show an interest in it in the first place.
      Which means that while there are some scholars, the other 99% of wizardkind have no clue whatsoever how the stuff they do all the time actually works. That thought is rather scary.
      Then again, maybe Hogwarts is just way worse than all the other magic schools and it's just the Brits who are this uneducated. Hogwarts sure seems awfully subpar in terms of providing education for anything.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >Which means that while there are some scholars, the other 99% of wizardkind have no clue whatsoever how the stuff they do all the time actually works
        Hey, our world is exactly like that too.
        I think I gave Rowling too little credit. I always thought she was writing emotional crap by the seat of her pants and didn't really care how internally cohesive her world was, but maybe she's a secret genius.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >Hey, our world is exactly like that too.
          Not really. Children do learn the basics of physics, biology and chemistry in "middle school" (different concepts depending on different countries), and even those who don't ever use them again after graduating do usually still remember the very basics, or at least that there are basics. Hogwarts outright neglects this.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        If the average person had the ability to make their brooms clean their house for them or brew a potion that made them manifest luck, they probably wouldn't care about the particulars either. People are practically chained to the internet and their phones nowadays but probably 1% of the total user base gives half a frick to understand the mechanics behind how they work, they just learn how to check facebook and look up porno, and hope the fancy machine never breaks

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >People are practically chained to the internet and their phones nowadays but probably 1% of the total user base gives half a frick to understand the mechanics behind how they work
          True, but that's because our schools have slept through that development and haven't caught up yet on including computer sciences and information theory into their curricula. But for wizards, magic has been around for centuries, if not millenia, so why wouldn't their schools teach the very basics of something that's this important for all of them?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        They warp reality at will, why would they give a frick about math and shit? They are content with leeching tech off from muggles so they don't even have to bother with coming up with tools to be bewitched.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >They warp reality at will, why would they give a frick about math and shit?
          Astronomy.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Meme subject and I bet they had tools doing most of the leverage for them. Astronomy is mentioned once, maybe twice throughout seven books.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              Funny how divination is treated as a joke by everyone but it's far the most important aspect of the story.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Because an actual prophecy happens every 1 million duds. It's actually moron that they have to study tea leaves and all that gay shit when the teacher has seizures whenever satan spoils her the future, testifying how all that crap was useless.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >It's actually moron that they have to study tea leaves and all that gay shit when the teacher has seizures whenever satan spoils her the future, testifying how all that crap was useless.
                Dumbledore admits she's only a teacher for security reasons and remove any chance of Voldemort learning the full prophecy from her
                It was either that or use magic to remove her legs, arms, tongue, ears and eyes and force her to "live" trap inside a cage

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Pretty sadistic from him to subject hundreds of students ti that because he was too lazy to come up with anything better. Plus they had a copy of the prophecy at the ministry. Don't even remember how they didn't find out about it earlier, but alas, there it was.

                There's a difference between moving something by magic and being able to compute something. The latter gives you a quick and easy way to information and thus unlimited potential to solve problems algorithmically. The former only makes it easier to move and build stuff.

                I don't get your fixation that they should give a shit about any of that when they can just will nearly anything they want out of nothing. They had brooms cleaning the kitchen by themselves when robot vacuums weren't even an idea. Stop rationalizing so hard a story for children about magic.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >when they can just will nearly anything they want out of nothing.
                Well, again, I doubt they could just will academical results "out of nothing", like those in the field of astronomy.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Astronomy was most likely retconned out of existence as Divination would make it redundant, and they don't really explain how they studied it anyway, it might just meant knowing all the combinations of zodiac signs and shit.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >Astronomy was most likely retconned out of existence as Divination would make it redundant
                >meant knowing all the combinations of zodiac signs
                You're confusing astronomy with astrology, mate.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Uops, misread. But still, who knows how they studied it, you're arguing everything over something that was barely a footnote in the books. Maybe Rowling expanded on it in her stupid website, but point is that the fact they apparently studied astronomy doesn't mean that their cultural baggage needs to share anything with ours, because they either don't need it or leech it off from us.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >who knows how they studied it
                Unless it's just something completely unrelated to astronomy that they just call astronomy for shits and giggles, I think it's sensible to assume that they studied it like astronomers study it. Maybe more like astronomers of old rather than contemporary ones. They have in common that they have astronomy towers and look up into the stars. And there'd be little point to that if they didn't then go on and apply mathematical models to emulate the movement of those stars.
                That is, I'd argue, the absolute minimum for something to justify being called astronomy.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Who knows, man, they study astronomy and yet are too moronic to use phones in the 90s, their priorities are clearly wack.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                True. Their priorities are Rowling's priorities.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                divination is treated as a joke because it's rare, but looks like actual clairvoyants had a lot of prestige and fame

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              >Meme subject
              I'd argue the whole divination bullshit are meme subjects, at least they're treated as such in canon. (And even there, for arithmancy, you'd probably need some basic maths skills.)
              >I bet they had tools doing most of the leverage for them.
              Like what? They apparently don't know or understand the concept of automated computing (hence why they have no computers or a magical equivalent to them). And even with computers, astronomers need to have a good grasp of the laws of physics to understand even just the basics, like the movement of planets.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >They apparently don't know or understand the concept of automated computing
                They apparently don't have the concept of robots either and yet all of their houseware moves and works on its own; it's magic.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                There's a difference between moving something by magic and being able to compute something. The latter gives you a quick and easy way to information and thus unlimited potential to solve problems algorithmically. The former only makes it easier to move and build stuff.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Imagine our world in 10-15 years. There will be no need to learn any of that nerdy shit when we got magic AI to do it for us

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >when we got magic AI
          AI is just an overhyped pattern recognition tool.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Except that "magic" AI literally still needs human input and supervision to do anything, since Artificial Intelligence is a misnomer. There is nothing intelligent whatsoever about it. Which anyone who delved into the topic (and who isn't a hype monkey trying to fool people into giving him cash) can tell you won't change any time soon, either.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >They also don't really seem to be required to understand how their own subjects actually work.
        It's heavily implied that the professors do teach the theory of their own subjects, especially Transfiguration.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Is it? In what ways?

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Nta but each teacher see,s to have an aptitude for their chosen subject. Flitwick with Charms, Snape with potions and so on.
            Even technically Divination with an actual prophet and History of Magic being taught by a ghost

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              True. But everything we see them teach is rather superficial. I have no doubts that Snape understands the theory behind potions, but everything we hear is "what do ingredient 1 and ingredient 2 combine to" or "which effect does this ingredient have". In other words, the students aren't taught general abstract concepts, but only individual recipes.
              The same with Flitwick's class. There is no talk about theory, just "imitate my wand movement" and "say this word in this way".

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                The books just don't cover it at length.
                You see a very brief snippet of actual theory have had been taught during their OWL exam questions.
                The entire basis of the fifth year DATDA class is that its all theory too., which they hate.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >The entire basis of the fifth year DATDA class is that its all theory too., which they hate.
                What does someone like Umbridge understand under "theory" though?

                It's a children's/ young adult series. There is no need to do that. We don't follow Hermiones lessons outside of History of Magic which does deal with some of that.
                We don't see Arithmancy or Runes

                The problem is not what we don't see, but what we do see. And we see parts that are purely based on showing something very specific and having the class reproduce the exact same thing. But that's not how people understand what they are doing, they just learn to blindly do it. The moment a single parameter changes, they won't be able to adapt.
                Every single time we see anything being taught, it's along those lines. Even the teachers that the books describe as exceptionally competent and successful, like Lupin, are only ever shown doing the exact same thing: Teaching one singular example of a skill or spell, not explaining WHY or HOW the spell works. And none of the students, not even Hermione who is described as studious and curious, ever considers asking a teacher for more theoretical knowledge. And that's just absurd. I myself remember, back when I was at school, personally asking my teachers for more details whenever I thought there might be more to a topic, and that was after they had already introduced a good amount of information. I also vividly remember my classmates, even some of the more simpleminded ones, asking critical questions every now and then.
                No discussions like that ever take place in Hogwarts.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >What does someone like Umbridge understand under "theory" though?
                It's not Umbridge teaching the class, it's Slinkhard.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >Slinkhard
                Wikipedia says he's the author of a book she used. She was still the teacher for that class. Either way, we neither know what exactly she taught, nor what's in the book.

                They do, just offscreen. As evidenced by the exam papers.
                Kids books.

                >They do, just offscreen.
                I find that hard to believe. Why would every instace of that be offscreened when the contents of classes shown are numerous. And, frankly, let me ask you, did your teachers follow such a strict distinction between theory and practice that they only ever taught practice without any theory on one day, and then theory without practice the next? In my experience, that was almost never the case. Whenever anything was brought up in practice, a scientific experiement in physics or chemistry classes, the teacher would immediately explain the theoretical side of the topic. That seems like a prudent approach. But the lessons that Rowling writes seem like a giant waste of time and effort.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                She didn't teach anything, the book was the teacher.
                At least read the material before posting.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >She didn't teach anything, the book was the teacher.
                She was nominally a teacher and she conducted the lessons. Even if the lessons followed the book strictly, it is still the teacher's responsibility.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                The entire drive for DA was due to the book being the teacher. She was just there to observe

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Shit the frick up you autistic frick. You have the answers, and you still refuse to listen.
                Any answer you get is for you to poorly criticise, that is clear.
                Now die.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >You have the answers, and you still refuse to listen.
                Sorry to say this, but your answers are trash. No, it being a kids book does not mean the lessons we are shown aren't bullshit. If we want to evaluate how well educated students and alumni are on average, we need to look at what we are shown, whether it's a kids book or not.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >your answers
                So you do have autism?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                It's a kids book anon.
                The answers you're looking for do not exist.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Indeed. And people go to Hogwarts to learn said magic. The question is how it is taught.

                Kids book.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Black person it frequently skips time and doesn't go over what's actually taught. Half the time they're in class the characters are fricking around and not paying attention anyway.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Another one hooked

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >skips time and doesn't go over what's actually taught.
                I'd dispute that. Between the books and the films, we see some lessons in great detail. We see Harry's first potion lesson with Snape. We see the Wingardium Leviosa practice. We see Lupin's whole class on boggarts. We see how Snape teaches about werewolves. We see the fake Moody teach unforgivable curses. We also see a good amount of divination, but the characters themselves call that one out for being useless. I'd argue we see enough of the lessons to actually get a good picture of them, or at least the picture that Rowling wanted to paint of them.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >We see Harry's first potion lesson with Snape. We see the Wingardium Leviosa practice. We see Lupin's whole class on boggarts. We see how Snape teaches about werewolves. We see the fake Moody teach unforgivable curses
                What a coincidence these are exclusively film related classes. Interesting you omit the ones exclusively from the books.

                Almost like you haven't read them.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >Almost like you haven't read them.
                It's been a while, admittedly. Which ones do you suggest I should look into that I didn't mention?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Most of the fifth year novel should cover it.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Give me one. I'm not going to reread the entire book right now.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Why not?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Because I don't have the time to read an entire book just for this thread. Much less before this thread dies.

                > I want to half ass this whole approach
                No, read the book and gain the knowledge first hand.

                So you don't have an argument. As expected.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Why not?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Are you clinically moronic?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Why?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >you not putting in the effort is also your out
                Figured as much.

                You may have the last post. I grant you this.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >not putting in the effort
                How quickly do you expect me to read through a whole book, shitposter? This thread is already past the bump limit and instead of making a concise point, you're trying to buy time until it runs out. That's ingerently dishonest and you obviously have no point to in the first place.
                I asked you for evidence for your bullshit claims, your answer was just "scourge a whopping 500 pages for a single page of evidence".

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >ingerently
                lol moron

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Yeah, you've found the typo. G and H are so far apart on a keyboard, aren't they?
                Hadn't I been sure by now that you're just a dishonest piece of shit, that alone would suffice as evidence.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >every anon is the same single person
                Autistic and moronic? Good match.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >G and H are so far apart on a keyboard, aren't they?
                About the length of your dick lmaos

                So much for that.
                Too bad, up until a point this discussion actually went well.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >G and H are so far apart on a keyboard, aren't they?
                About the length of your dick lmaos

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                LMAO GET DABBED ON

                Yeah, you've found the typo. G and H are so far apart on a keyboard, aren't they?
                Hadn't I been sure by now that you're just a dishonest piece of shit, that alone would suffice as evidence.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Imagine being so elitist and still getting fricked by two anons who can't use grammar lol

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Grammar is for Nazis, Gamers use 1337 speak.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                > I want to half ass this whole approach
                No, read the book and gain the knowledge first hand.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >still hasn't even read the source material
                >completely ignores the O.W.Ls

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                They do, just offscreen. As evidenced by the exam papers.
                Kids books.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                You have autism.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                True. But everything we see them teach is rather superficial. I have no doubts that Snape understands the theory behind potions, but everything we hear is "what do ingredient 1 and ingredient 2 combine to" or "which effect does this ingredient have". In other words, the students aren't taught general abstract concepts, but only individual recipes.
                The same with Flitwick's class. There is no talk about theory, just "imitate my wand movement" and "say this word in this way".

                Is there anything the average wizard understands at all though? They don't ever have language lessons (including their own langauge), no basic maths lessons (even though they do get to learn astronomy, which they'd definitely need advanced maths knowledge for), no basic sciences.
                They also don't really seem to be required to understand how their own subjects actually work. There should be some general model for potion-making, for example, like there are models for chemistry, yet all they do is throw things together and hope for the best - not including recipes they look up in books. And apparently there is some kind of theory that allows for improvements and refinements of potions, according to the Half-Blood Prince, since Snape annotated his book with some of those, and seems to have come up with them himself. But no one ever teaches an ounce of that scientific background to the students.
                The same is true for jinxes and transformation and such. Apparently there is a scientific approach to that, and a subject called "Magic Theory" where students COULD learn that stuff, but it's an elective for the higher class students that's only offered if enough students show an interest in it in the first place.
                Which means that while there are some scholars, the other 99% of wizardkind have no clue whatsoever how the stuff they do all the time actually works. That thought is rather scary.
                Then again, maybe Hogwarts is just way worse than all the other magic schools and it's just the Brits who are this uneducated. Hogwarts sure seems awfully subpar in terms of providing education for anything.

                It's magic.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Indeed. And people go to Hogwarts to learn said magic. The question is how it is taught.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                It's a children's/ young adult series. There is no need to do that. We don't follow Hermiones lessons outside of History of Magic which does deal with some of that.
                We don't see Arithmancy or Runes

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Honestly this wasn't too dissimilar from my high school experience - maths and computer science aside we didn't really learn the nuts and bolts behind anything until the final years where we could choose our own subjects. I remember year 7 being full of events like "hey put your sunglasses on, kids. I'm setting fire to this strip of magnesium."

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                Sorry to hear that. If you don't mind me asking, how did those teachers go about testing you guys?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                I honestly don't remember too much, I think outside of English, which was usually creative or persuasive writing as a forerunner to later essays and better creative writing tasks, much of it was simple testing on retained knowledge. I remember year 7 geography being a multiple choice test with often questions relating to simple definitions or recalling the correct name for things - "how do you calculate slope gradient" (rise over run) or "what is the correct name for (tool that serves some purpose)". Quite a lot of hands on assessments too like making dioramas for History or beating the teacher at Aztec snakes and ladders, making skill testers for woodwork/electronics, having to cook and bring in a dish to class for Food Tech (home ec), reading/speaking/very basic writing tests for language classes, basic performance and melodic dictation testing for Music (didn't learn actual theory til 9&10 where they assumed anyone still taking it already knew it all and was just interested in unique edge cases like Medieval Modes, Baroque and Blues, simple research and experiment assignments for Science usually culminating in class presentations, making stuff in photoshop and flash for computer tech after it stopped being about the history and theory of computing, etc etc.

                Probably why Maths was my worst subject the whole way through, basically the purest theory based testing, but the teachers skimmed the underpinning theory because they assumed we all did tutoring. I only recall how basic trigonometry works, and how to calculate simple and compound interest. Quadratics completely lost me as the teacher would mumble into the board and give us detention for not having grasped any of it. Calculus was reserved for students who took maths in the final years.

                As a result the weird teaching depicted in Rowling's otherwise rather hacky writing was one of the few things I never criticised, it rang true enough to my experience.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                I honestly don't remember too much, I think outside of English, which was usually creative or persuasive writing as a forerunner to later essays and better creative writing tasks, much of it was simple testing on retained knowledge. I remember year 7 geography being a multiple choice test with often questions relating to simple definitions or recalling the correct name for things - "how do you calculate slope gradient" (rise over run) or "what is the correct name for (tool that serves some purpose)". Quite a lot of hands on assessments too like making dioramas for History or beating the teacher at Aztec snakes and ladders, making skill testers for woodwork/electronics, having to cook and bring in a dish to class for Food Tech (home ec), reading/speaking/very basic writing tests for language classes, basic performance and melodic dictation testing for Music (didn't learn actual theory til 9&10 where they assumed anyone still taking it already knew it all and was just interested in unique edge cases like Medieval Modes, Baroque and Blues, simple research and experiment assignments for Science usually culminating in class presentations, making stuff in photoshop and flash for computer tech after it stopped being about the history and theory of computing, etc etc.

                Probably why Maths was my worst subject the whole way through, basically the purest theory based testing, but the teachers skimmed the underpinning theory because they assumed we all did tutoring. I only recall how basic trigonometry works, and how to calculate simple and compound interest. Quadratics completely lost me as the teacher would mumble into the board and give us detention for not having grasped any of it. Calculus was reserved for students who took maths in the final years.

                As a result the weird teaching depicted in Rowling's otherwise rather hacky writing was one of the few things I never criticised, it rang true enough to my experience.

                Also worth noting, this was at a public selective school, thus accounting for why it often came off as more "interesting extended reading" and why many concepts were presumed as granted/assumed knowledge

  15. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    They have living paintings. Probably some lewd ones too that would interract with you while you stuff the good ol' wand up your ass while jerking off and choking on a belt if you know what I mean

  16. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >internet
    If he had ever even heard of it he absolutely mistook it as some kind of fishing equipment.

  17. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    For me, it's Narcissa Malfoy

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      For me, Tonks before her breasts disappeared

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        She was nude in Game of Thrones and I didnt notice any scarring on her boobs. Maybe CGI'd out in post production

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          she's been nude in later works too and barely has any breasts, weird

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      RIP cissy / helen mcrory
      maybe try watching penny dreadful for more

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      An absolute milf up to her death last year.

  18. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Is relating to the villains a chuddian trait? Ever since I was a young boy I always related to the villain. I want to have my own moment where I can go on a Light Yagami esque rant or surpass my own humanity like Voldemort and become a monster through extreme knowledge.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >surpass my own humanity like Voldemort and become a monster through extreme knowledge.
      Literally pointless unless your profession is influential in some manner. Autistically studying that has no sway is gay

  19. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >TFW no ghost GF

    Feels Bad Man

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Myrtle takes a bath with Harry and keeps looking under the water at his bathing suit area

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      She was an adolescent looking like 45 when she died. I get why she was getting bullied, really.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Common wizard affliction. Harry's parents died in their early 20s looking like they were in their 40s. McGonaggal was around 50 but looked 70+.
        They just age really fast but then live really long as old people, apparently. Probably the worst kind of long life one can have, as over half of your lifespan is spent as an elderly person.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >Live half your lifespan being retired and never having to work doing what you want

          sounds like paradise

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >McGonaggal was around 50
          Then how come she was already a teacher at Hogwarts in the 1930 when Dumbledore and Grindelwald were young?

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Time Turner accident.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Because that's probably a retcon from one of the garbage sequels and prequels that I never watched or read.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      yeah but why was she played by Daniel Radcliffe in a wig?

  20. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Best Harry potter film coming through!

  21. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Dude couldn’t turn on a toaster without Harry’s help, you think he set up an internet connection?

  22. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Why would you rely on limited muggle media when you could have an enchanted photograph where you can talk to the performers and have interactive porn?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >Kids school photos
      >???
      >fbi!

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I'm sure there were at least some Daily Prophet articles featuring sexy witches

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >featuring sexy witches
        Well, there was one about Bellatrix breaking out of prison, I think. That counts.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Harry got lewd photos from milf witches. They sent them via owl.

  23. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >no evil mommy gf
    I suffer.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >no dentist in Azkaban

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >dentist
        I'm pretty sure slughorn and co are baffled by hermione's parents job, all they need to do is wave their wand and their teeth are fixed

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >all they need to do is wave their wand and their teeth are fixed
          Not sure that works. You can't magically fix eyesight, hence why wizards wears glasses. Even the spell "occulus reparo" which should, according to its name, repair the eyes, only repairs glasses.
          So why would teeth be a different matter?

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Hermione's front teeth were fixed in the process of reversing a curse. Maybe you cant permanently change your appearance only for vanity

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              Because Hermione gets hit by a stray curse in book 4 that makes her front teeth grow and has to run to the hospital to get it fixed, at which point, deciding that she was done having buck teeth, she let the nurse carry on longer than necessary so they shrunk to normal size instead of their previous (excessive) size.
              If it works on the front teeth, it works on the others.

              Sounds like one of Rowling's lazy inconsistencies.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Because Hermione gets hit by a stray curse in book 4 that makes her front teeth grow and has to run to the hospital to get it fixed, at which point, deciding that she was done having buck teeth, she let the nurse carry on longer than necessary so they shrunk to normal size instead of their previous (excessive) size.
            If it works on the front teeth, it works on the others.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Imagine being Voldemort, being all like
        "Deh homie, I'm so horny"
        And you call up Bellatrix to give you some sloppy toppy and you're all ready and you see her chompers looking like a ghoul so you just hit it from the back and she ends up pregnant with some girl who later goes on to star in a stage show.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Dentists are scared of dementors

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        No, that's just because she's a british witch

  24. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >tfw he'll never play an old johnny rotten in a movie
    we have been robbed of kino lads

  25. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Who else here team Luna? She's best girl

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Here.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Luna Lovegood newds, you say?

  26. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Arthur didn't know shit about muggles.

  27. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    he dont look too good nowadays

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >All his kids move from home
      >Wife accidently kill herself toying with a gun he took from work not even knowing what it was
      >His children never forgive him
      >Fire from his job

  28. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    > The great vault door groaned as it swung open, and Harry and Professor Dumbledore quickly strode in.
    > Dumbledore's breath caught in his throat as his eyes alighted upon the massive piles of gold and silver coins, precious gems and pristine treasures which glittered in the dim light.
    > "My word, Harry. I had no idea you were quite so... affluent..." His brow furrowed inquisitively.
    > "Thanks, Professor," Harry said as he filled his purse with a fistful of galleons. "My parents left me quite a lot. I'm really thankful to them."
    > "Yes, yes..." Dumbledore murmured, as he began to casually sifted through a pile of golden trinkets near the door. "Harry, your mother Lily - her maiden name was Evans, wasn't it?"
    > "That's right."
    > Dumbledore dug deeper into the pile. "And her mother's maiden name, what was that?"
    > "Err... Smith, I think."
    > "Indeed... and her mother's mother?"
    > "Let's see, it was, err... Steinberg. Why do you ask, Professor?"
    > But Dumbledore has already found his answer. Shining unmistakably at the bottom of the pile was the golden menorah.
    > "No matter... say Harry, what is that in the corner there?"
    > No sooner had Harry turned to follow Dumbledore's pointing finger than he felt some metal object strike him in the back of the head, with such force that he was thrown to the cold stone floor.
    > By the time he looked up, Dumbledore was already shutting the vault door.
    > "Professor!" Harry pleaded, "You can't just leave me in here!"
    > "Fear not, my boy," Dumbledore uttered calmly over the groaning of the hinges, "Arbeit macht frei." Then there was only darkness.

  29. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Was Arthur Weasley a chud?

  30. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    EVEN BETTER THAN THAT

    ?t=8

  31. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >read prisoner of azkaban
    >Harry meets Cedric Diggory
    >Harry meets and faces off against Cho Chang
    Goddamn
    I've just started Goblet of fire, I feel like it's going to be way better than the film
    Snape seems way crazier than he does in the films

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Goblet of Fire is one of the best of the books. I think it's the one that most effectively bats your mind back and forth between different possible answers to the mystery.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Yes, I just reread the other week. The films are just awful as adaptations go, 5 especially.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Enjoy the quidditch world cup the movie cuck you out off!
      5 and 6 books are also way better compared to the movies

  32. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Yeah, but veela hookers

  33. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I don't get why people are so hung up on the education the students receive

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Why aren't you?

  34. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Imagine all the interactive JOI wizard porn

  35. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    so how come wizards dont know anything about muggles while having people like hermoine whos literally a normal muggle girl

  36. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    This homosexual couldn't decipher the purpose of a rubber duck. The wizarding world is willfully moronic when it comes to muggles.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Well? What is the purpose?
      What is the actual purpose of a rubber duck?

      You get given one and what? What do you do with it? How do you know to use it? Where does it go?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Simple cheap bath toy for young muggle children. Occasionally gifted as a knick-knack or gag gift to adults.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          And how do you know this just by looking at a rubber duck?
          You're using bias to reach a conclusion you shouldn't be able to make based on assumed knowledge.
          Arthur asked because he did not have this knowledge.

  37. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    The events of Harry Potter took place in the 90s. He didn't understand the simplest muggle devices, let alone accessing dial-up Internet. It's much more likely Arthur knew about Page 3 girls and ripped them out of The Sun. why do you think he loved his shed outside the burrow? you just know he kept his stash somewhere in there

  38. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >you will never sniff Luna's armpit bush

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I would love to inhale deeply Luna's pubic hair and vagine

  39. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    ACCIO LUNA LOVEGOOD'S PANTIES

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >oooh no Harry, my panties have mysteriously disappeared

  40. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Why are people so obsessed over a children's book franchise?

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