Holy shit, this show is the lowest of the low piece of shit shows ever.
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"I Think I had a Brother.....Larry Wan Kenobi"
Holy shit, this show is the lowest of the low piece of shit shows ever.
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sneed
No shit. Frick Disney.
Rogue One was there only good project.
I agree with you roguebro
And even that was only okay because there were 10 different Death Star plan stealing plots in the EU they could steal from. Still managed to be the worst of them all
Rogue One was trash.
>there
>Rogue One was there only good project.
Rogue One was only successful because of the last ten minutes...
That and Carrie Fisher's fat ass going breasts up
>RRRRRREEEEEEEEEEOOOOGUEONE!!!
Rogue One is fricking TRASH! It's hack fricking writing, and you morons continue to lap it up.
Yes, you stupid homosexuals, having the Emergency Shutdown button OUTSIDE where a blind man literally finds it (I mean, a fricking bird could land on it), among all the other plot contrivances and holes. Let's have our STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER interrupt a firefight to save that poor child, who gets blown to shit moments later by the Death Star anyway.
One day, someone is going to do a RLM-style takedown of Rogue One, and you b***hes are going to say you never liked it anyway. You dicks are why Star Wars has gone to shit, because as long as the last few minutes have some flashy fricking action you s o i your pants.
Yeah Rogue One is total dogshit. Missed Opportunities, the film.
Wow they got the plans, how interesting.
Rogue One is shit also.
They're all shit.
Mandalorian is shit also.
actually kek'd
Achuta
Rogue one was dog shit. 50% of last Jedi is good, mangorillion is mostly pretty good, and frick everyone’s gay opinion about solo that movie was great
I don’t watch cartoons (unless there’a sex)
biggest moron take. go back.
racist chuds
Yes, the Dark Forces adaptation was okay, I just don't understand why they made Jan Ors the main character and killed her and Kyle at the end. That was weird.
>Bland characters in le grim dark Star Wars action schlock is their best project
Don’t be a contrarian, it’s okay to say Mandalorian is good, I mean frick Solo was better than Rogue Juan.
Mando season 1>>Mando season 2> POWER GAP>Solo> Rogue One>>>> TFA>>>>>>> Dog shit>>>> Book of Boba Fatt>>>> even worse dog shit> TLJ>>>RoS.
>Solo that high.
Please. It should be between TFA and dog shit.
Shit tier taste
Rogue One is the most normalgay Disney movie. TFA and TLJ are actually great and better than all Star Wars since 1980
Yes, John Williams legitimately tried to do something amazing there too with TFA and JEDI.
He did imo, the scores of those movies are both very good and complement what's onscreen.
>When you live long enough to see the future where people unironically shill for a steaming pile of horse shit on a Tibetan Underwater Basket Weaving Forum
Its all so tiresome...
I think you mean Solo
Rogue One was boring tripe
I agree with you, somewhat, but mainly because the final battle elevated a film that was otherwise pretty bland and forgettable. The rest was really inly bearable because of Bunnyfu abd K-2S0.
>Rogue One was there only good project.
Actually it was as bad as the rest...
>female protagonist
Rogue one had 2 good scenes: the space battle over the planet with the shield, and darth vader for like 60 seconds at the end. Otherwise it was very mediocre at best. Being better than any of the 3 sequel movies is not a high bar.
In the first novelizations Owen was Obi-Wan's brother.
Also in a draft of ROTJ
Ben Larry Steve Kenobi
Is this supposed to be funny?
It's funnier if you've watched their series that edits/dubs the entire saga to have a different story. Similar to how Kung Pow used edits and dubs to change the film(s).
Make sure everybody has zimas!
best version of star wars
Yeah my first thought too. What were the odds.
Star Wars: Larry will be the only good thing to come out of this shitshow.
Wait they seriously pulled a EL HERMANO plotline?
Can someone give me the tl;dr?
OP is a homosexual
Many such cases.
Obiwon told leia he had a brother
Leia asks about her parents, and Obi-Wan deflects and tells her what he remembers of his family before he was taken by the Jedi, which is pretty much nothing. That's literally it.
>Luke did I ever tell you about the time I fought Vader in a Cement Factory?
Luke, did I ever tell you about the time your father chased me trough a cement factory. And then he dragged my immobile almost crushed body across a lake of pure fire and then threw me out of the fire, and he was a good friend.
For some reason he just let me go, instead of walking around the fire. Your father was an enigma, and for that reason, he was a good friend.
Luke, did I ever tell you about the Pajeeta species? Two of them saved your sister and I's life in the span of a few hours. The Rebel Alliance must redeem aid to their system immediately.
Kek
As soon as I saw the Obi-Wan Kenobi show was finally greenlit by Disney, I eagerly awaited the moronic retcons that would accompany it and the resurgence of Goodfriendposting that would follow.
I have not been disappointed.
Luke, did I ever tell you about that time your sister was kidnapped by your father 10 years ago? I had to go rescue her, but that's a story for another time.
Well he obviously knew her well enough for her to think he was her only hope. As far as canon goes this has been okay
....Look at this dudee
What in the frick is that CGI?
Looks like Robot Chicken
Vader sitting on a black marble/obsidian throne in his castle on fricking Mustafar looks 100% out of place and would do so even if this did not look so pristine that it couldn't be anything but fake.
Wait, Vader's castle has always been on Vjun, not Mustafar. Did they really change that as well?
benis and vjun :DDD
Yeah there was a Vader comic with the new continuity that changed it.
Of course they changed it. Why use a "new" location when you can reuse Tatooine/Mustafar for the 6000 time. For a big Galaxy, the SW universe is fricking tiny.
>Vader's castle
>You mean 'Fortress Vader'?
>Mike... are we the bad guys? Did we ruin Star Wars?
>No Rich im afraid not....
>IT WAAAAAS JEEEEEEWWWWWSSS
same energy
Sure.............if you like looking at balls.
Ponders my almonds.
>>Ponders my Black person Radar.
So he's just sitting on a throne all day? And then he looks out the window. They have no fricking clue what they are doing with this show.
Kneel
>vader sits on an obsidian throne on a volcano planet
>also takes orders from Moff Tarkin like a lapdog
Was Palpatine punishing Vader in ANH?
Holy shit this looks like a terrible 90s live action game
What PS3 game is this?
Empire At War
The Vader Expansion 2006
Rebel Assault II fmv vibes.
Which 90s game is this?
90's FMV vibe
This scene was good tbh I got Force Unleashed vibes
>it reminded me of a shitty game from 15 years ago
damn...
They can't even get the hologram right. Where's the fricking blinds effect?
Much easier to superpose black girl on a new layer, turn saturation to blue, and set layer to 60% transparency.
>he lives on a lava planet
Where did Vader live in EU?
Romania
His castle on Vjun.
>show hints MASSIVELY at the popular theory Obi Wan fricked padme and fathered luke and leia
>morons on Cinemaphile orbit the obis brother throwaway line
nice attention to detail gays.
No it doesn't. Just because Leia reminds him of Padme, it doesn't mean that he fricked Padme.
He was there when she died.
He protected her since Phantom Menace.
And She was a good friend.
You know not every male-female interaction is about sex, anon.
>You know not every male-female interaction is about sex, anon.
this is how we know you never have sex
Nah, im just sayin, that's why you can't predict half the fricking romantic movies or tv show romances you ever watch.
>thinks every male-female interaction is about sex
Chris Chan, is that you?
>popular theory
A theory that would render the entire saga even more meaningless than it already is? The frick is popular about that?
>The frick is popular about that?
I'll remind you that the most "popular" star wars theories are that the cartoon rabbit was secretly the main antagonist all along and that the intended viewing order is 142536
451236 and it’s not even close
Completely optimized viewing order: 4
Obi Wan only had a place in his heart for Satine, Dutchess of Mandalore.
In fact, he was going out of his way to help Anakin keep his relationship a secret until after the war.
Mommy.
>obis brother throwaway line
What line?
Ben mentions when he was taken from his family to go to the Jedi temple originally. Mentions fleeting memories of his mother, father, and a brother.
Obviously the other kid wasn't force sensitive so he doesn't matter, or was too old for training (the show doesn't specify if the brother was older/younger)
Jedi don't kidnap children. That's not cannon.
You're thinking of that religion...christianity.
I tip my fedora to you fellow euphoric warrior
Oh, so it wasn't a veiled reference to anakin?
his brother was described as a baby
He said he had a baby brother, dickhead.
He does say something like he wishes he was Leia's father which implies he fapped to Padme a couple of times.
>Luke did i ever tell you that i sometimes think about your mother whilst sharpening my lightsaber the one which i used to mutilate your father, and she was a good bawd
It just means he wished that Vader wasn't her dad.
>nice attention to detail gays.
I don't care for fanfic, consoomer.
Its okay guys they can still redeem themselves with their next two projects:
>rosario dawson in: bad make up too old for action choreography
>Idek remember his name in: not the protagonist of an offshoot prequel to the prequel
Or, they could bring back mommy Gina and have her break dudes’ necks with her thighs
>Yeeeeet
Why did they do it bros?
>unzips
>cannister hatch oppens
>forces you to suck the metal of his wiener
>you drain his life force
>There's been an awakening, have you felt it?
>Taika Waititi Announces SW with gays.
>China bans SW
>SW is dead.
>Good job sucking his wiener, homosexual.
Is this cannon?
>Why didn't the Emperor Palpatine Surgical Reconstruction Center make his mechanical legs fireproof?
He doesn't want soot on his cape
to be fair to that picture the 2nd explosion/fire was bigger, I guess.
lmao, that stormtrooper is casually walking on it too
That storm trooper is a giant compared to Kenobi.
They literally frick up the most basic proportions. I don't know how you do that in camera. It's not comic book drawing.
Not enough woodoo hide
>Not enough woodoo hide
why not just use the force to pull him through the fire? You know, like he literally did moments ago...
Funny thing is, his suit IS fireproof. Oops!
disney mf's dont care even for basic details like this
>168937557
Nothing in Kenobi looks half as whimsically creative as Emperor Palpatine's Surgical Reconstruction Center.
that top part doesn't look flush to the rest.
it’s level. The planet is just round unlike earth
How do you go from this?
To This....
To this...
>Disney design
Disney's Diversity Inquisitor's were uncessary element to this series. Boba Fett should have just been sent after Le-a (pronounced LeDASHa bc that dash don't be silent).
How does weightless light give air resistance for takeoff? It's literally not a blade.
pretty sure its plasma
That explains why it's called a plasmasaber, thanks mate
if we want to split hairs it wouldn't really qualify as a saber either
One day Disney Wars will be so dumbed down to the point where a Jedi cuts someone's laser in half and the upper light part falls off.
Sadly you're right
Repulsion lifts in the handle. I still unironically like the idea, but it is pretty wacky.
>Boba Fett should have just been sent
Disney made Boba Fett a good guy now. Can't make him go around taking orders from the villains.Even though he's a mercenary..
>Ben Larry Steve Bongo Kenobi might actually be real
Larry Wan Kenobi and Qui Gon Jim will appear.
But Qui Gon will have a Cameo like he did in The Dark Knight Rises saying the exact literall same thing, word for fricking word.
His name was Obi-Two Kenobi
Kek. Make it "Obi-Tu" and you got a deal.
>not twobi-wan
Solo: A Star Wars Story dissapointed.
Rise of Skywalker dissapointed.
The Last Jedi dissapointed.
Mandalorian Season 2 mildly dissapointed.
Kenobi dissapointed.
Book of Fat dissapointed.
The last 6 Star Wars Projects have been a giant life let down. How much more pounding can a fanbase take?
Art of Force Awakens and
Collin Trevorrow's Concept Art is the Last Mildly Cool, Otherworldly thing i've seen from this franchise.
Shit taste. The worst dissapointment was The Force Awakens.
>tfw you'll never have a Tiny Harvard Educated Eating Disorder Muscle-bound Oscar Bait gf
He had a brother...his name... was Toby Wan Kenobi
When your spaceship franchise forgets to put in space ship battles or space situations.
And treats it with the same extravagance to that of a subway ride to work.
It’s really, really not that bad. It’s not good like the Mongolian, but it’s fun the way the prequels are fun with a little less cringe. They are surprisingly staying more within the lines of canon than I thought they would. I can see all of this happening to Alec guinness (except for how he looks old as shit in ten years)
>prequels are fun
You lost me moron
Only zoomers, who saw it when they were toddlers, like the prequels.
Ocwan Kenobi
I think its safe to say that SW is positively dead. Bury it, consider it mercy.
>Luke, did i ever tell you how i harnessed the ability to shoot force lightning from my fingers which caused me to age 32 years in the span of 10 years ago, an elegant weapon for a more civilized age
Kek
After I literally puked at the cinema when the blue haired b***h started giving a speech after setting up the dude in episode 8 I told myself that my favorite franchise (star wars) was dead and that anything post lucas is not canon.
Anything they do, they do it with a "franchise" POV where they can keep milking it further and further, nothing will ever be resolved ala original 6 movies
He did it
>inb4 masterpiece Plinkett Review of Kenobi.
>Gee Jedi being hunted these day
>Need to hide it
>Wear like a fricking Jedi anyway
dress
How clever would it be if the Droid walked away to safety.
Opened the refrigirator hatch that is his stomach
And Leia was safely escorted inside him.
Inquisitor Reva enters the tunnel where the
Indian Ally b***h blows herself up in her face
And almost killing her. Then the Droid got
Kenobi Out and called a ship.
They can't write Droids for shit anymore.
They treat them like humans.
Why does a 4 ton Muscular Droid need to hold
a hammer? He Could throw you trough the wall.
How do i suffer like Obi Wan?
Get a binocular and watch a kid from the bushes
for 10 years.
Work in a butcher shop.
Go to work on a bus.
Do Yoga.
only if the kid is cute and funny
literally me
Anyone else notice that homosexual that keeps parroting the RLM Palpatine reconstruction center joke like its the funniest shit hes ever heard in his life?
You're moronic. Were you born in Emperor Palpatine's Reconstruction Centre on Coruscant since you're that moronic?
Fricking lost.
I'm gonna say something that might legitimately come across as dangerous, but Han Solo was actually good and probably the best movie to come out of nu-wars.
It's got more character than Rogue One.
The goofy Kessel run was ok.
But it's visually dark, ugly
Every Emilia Clarke Scene is cancer.
It boils down Solo's life to a 1 week event.
Gay Rights Fembot that Fricks Lando
Doens't make Lando cool.
The Millenium Falcon is the only awesome thing in it. And the Cold Blooded Standoff
at the end.
But it's a set up for Darth Maul.
And Han Solo gets his name at the airport.
You would have to be moronic to enjoy that awful slop, it was worse than Force Awakens. Just awful, soulless, dull "franchise" shit with baffling writing that never sticks the landing of any "emotional moments"
It was fun for good and bad reasons like old TOS Star Trek. When it got bad it was so bad that I laughed at it, but when it got good it was solid Sunday afternoon entertainment. I still remember my entire theater erupting in laughter when the fembot died, good times.
Whats the point of casting Hayden if we only see him in Vader armor most of the time? Is he even in the Vader costume?
He appeared in a cloak and will be in flashbacks
There's going to be Clone Wars flashback. Probably while Obi-Wan is recuperating his injuries in the next episode.
I was hoping they'd have Obi-Wan dream about an alternate present scenario where Anakin turned against Sidious and saved the Jedi and (possibly) the Republic. So we'd see the young Leia actress interacting with current-age Hayden as her father.
Instead they went and had him have nightmares remembering sound clips from the prequels. It's as if the seal-clapping I-KNOW-WHAT-THAT-IS types and people who never watched the prequels are the driving influence for prequel call-backs.
I get the feeling part of it is that they want to avoid the prequel actors they couldn't/wouldn't bring back. Natalie Portman, Samuel L Jackson, and most glaring, Liam Neeson.
In ROTS you get the impression that they're saying Obi-Wan was directly communicating with Qui-Gon while on Tatooine, same way Obi-Wan in ghost form sat down on a log and had a back and forth conversation/exposition dump with Luke in ROTS.
Instead Obi-Wan is basically praying to Qui-Gon with no answer as if this was directly an "Are you there God, it's me, Obi-Wan Kenobi?" scenario. As in, he remains an old-style Jedi but gets the esoteric training for force ghost immortality.
They have Obi-Wan as a really broken character which is really quite far away from where he is in episode 4. In episode 4, he's resigned and wistful, but it's obvious he still has faith in the force and/or Jedi. Here he's weak, traumatized and full-on crisis of faith mode. Using blasters and false surrendering is clearly evidence of moral shakiness too.
It wasn't at all what I was expecting, and since they have a clear starting point and clear end-goal in terms of character development, it's already potentially miles ahead of every other Disney project.
The fact it's essentially nonsensical in terms of established events between ROTS and ANH just means it's open to more surprises and possibly explicit alt-timeline canon. The worst thing it could be is uninteresting.
>I was hoping they'd have Obi-Wan dream about an alternate present scenario where Anakin turned against Sidious and saved the Jedi and (possibly) the Republic. So we'd see the young Leia actress interacting with current-age Hayden as her father.
That would have been cool. Dream/alternate history where Uncle Obi drops in to see his old friend and the wife and kids -- estranged from the Jedi Order, maybe, but still a galactic hero. And then Uncle Obi wakes up with a smile on his lips and looks around at the heaps of garbage and shoddy mud huts and scurrying Jawas and goes oh... oh, yeah. And shakes his head wistfully.
Then he goes and saves whoever needs saving this week, like the aging samurai master that he is.
Ah well. All those lovely might have beens and five bucks will buy you a cup of coffee.
>Then he goes and saves whoever needs saving this week, like the aging samurai master that he is.
Nah, I'm glad they've finally started to move away from the "OMG DID YOU KNOW GEORGE LUCAS LIKED KUROSAWA WHICH IS BASICALLY A WESTERN IN JAPAN!?" trope, and back towards an sci-fi setting.
It's not good even when it's old style sci-fi nerds doing it and not millennial hollywood the-force-is-female "nerds". Star Trek Enterprise did a small-scale sci-fi remake of seven samurai 20 years before Mandalorian and it was a mediocre filler episode there too, an actually episodic formulaic show by design, from the tail end of an older era of TV.
With the newer crop of hollywood "nerds", it's clearly influenced by surface level D&D osmosis and female-friendly fantasy series more than science fiction. The newer star trek stuff is pure evidence of this tendency. Every character comes across as a D&D PG-13 Murderhobo with a tragic backstory, and the "episodic" plotlines just become procedurally generated sidequests. Science-fiction worldbuilding and tropes fall by the wayside in favour of tamer, lamer constraints of tangential genres poorly understood by the writers.
>Instead Obi-Wan is basically praying to Qui-Gon with no answer as if this was directly an "Are you there God, it's me, Obi-Wan Kenobi?"
Still possible we will see something more definitive in the second half. That said, when he reaches out to Qui-Gon he does get a response (at least in my interpretation.) Literally as Obi-Wan says "It seems like a losing battle these days" we see the vision of Anakin manifest. He knows the meaning, that Anakin is here pursuing him, and he grabs Leia telling her to stay close.
>Help me Obi Wan, you're a new hope
christ george
I'll kill anyone who disagrees with my subjective opinion for myself.
The Last Jedi > The Force Awakens > Solo > POWER GAP > Mandalorian S1 (time waste) > Rise of Skywalker >>>>>>>Dog shit>>>>>> Everything else interchangable >>>>>>>>>>>> >Ass Cancer = Kenobi.
this series revealed all the toxic racists.
i'm glad disney warned the actress that portrays the brave role of Reva in advance. the fandom still can't take it that a black woman has a big role in star wars bringing more diversity.
What racism? No really, what are you referring to exactly?
have you been living under a rock?
go see the statement from the offical star wars account on twitter and the message from ewan mcgregor
Yes I saw McGregor's message and the Star Wars account, but I don't know what they're referring to exactly either. That's why I'm asking you.
proof?
So you don't know either then. We're all just talking about some hypothetical racists who allegedly did something mean. Got it.
This board literally never mentioned anything racist whatsoever. We're exclusively pointing out how this show's is shit in all the ways except for Reva.
El Hermano de Obi
ESTO ES EL FIN
That’s not a real quote is it?
It is.
Solo is actually really good if you ignore the gay dice and Han gets his name shit
What about the feminist c**t robot.
The Shitty dark Lighting.
The nonexistent dynamic between Chewie and Han which should've been the main Buddy Story.
The Emilia Clarke subplot with the gansters and sex slavery and Darth Maul.
The Evils turns out to Be Strong Female Villain
The Mine Scene that goes nowhere.
and it's still better than the rest of the crap Disney put out
it's actually fun
Fair enough.
>muh fun
Go watch Marvel or Kenobi
yeah watch they introduce Obi-Wan's baby brother as an Inquisitor or some shit
Grand Moff Tarkin will be his brother.
>Thrawn
The Ending of Kenobi is a set up for the Thrawn Show
Admiral Thrawn is Kenobi's long lost brother.
Its the asian guy. Obi won dad had yellow fever
The sequels are just as good as the originals, two good/very good movies and one average one with it's moments.
If anyone honestly thinks episodes 7 and 8 aren't better than episodes 1 and 2, you might be moronic.
>two good/very good movies and one average one with it's moments.
Force Awakens is Alright.
Last Jedi is a bit cooler and has a few moments.
Rise of Skywalker is borderline unwatchable.
All three are unironically better than every single marvel movie homosexuals have praised for the last 10 years.
True. But they're shit compared to TENET
Tenet was shit though mate, no. Tenet is still more watchable than superhero movies sure, but it's pretty meh, shit characters for the most part.
I watch it for the suits, music, action and concept.
>Last Jedi is a bit cooler and has a few moments.
Not that moron.
Yoda Scene.
Luke Talking to Rey about the Force and 3. Lessons.
Kylo Ren killing Snoke.
Hyperspeed Crash.
Luke steps out to face the First Order.
Kylo Ren ventilates Red Guard's face.
Admiral Hux and Kylo Ren's competition.
Giant Ship turns out to be an Iron gag.
Benicio Del Toro's whole POV was personally ok.
Leia, Poe Dameron and Finn were Butchered
>3 lessons
they literally cut the third lesson
the third lesson was the third act, the movie unironically has a high IQ
>Leia, Poe and Finn were Butchered
Carrie Fisher's best performance of her career is in TLJ, same with Hamill.
Poe has his most significant arc in TLJ, and Finn does as well.
>Hyperspeed Crash
That forced jar jar abrams to come up with something to justify how hard it is to pull off because otherwise it would ruin all the previous movies.
If he would've thought of it, he would've put it in his movie first. But he can't think of it. He can't get basic space science in his movies. Imagine a SW where the warfield is changed and everyone has to adapt to this new style of war.
The should've doubled down on the concept in the third movie instead of fighting with his own franchise like a moronic stepchild monster.
Even that "it's a million to one shot" explanation is worthless when you consider how we've seen tons of brilliant fleet admirals in Star Wars, and the one who could someone pull it off is some lady with pink hair wearing a dress.
You're telling me she can do it with a fricking cruiser alone, while an imperial admiral with a skeleton crew can't?
somehow pull it off** frick.
Ahahahahah How is it a million to one shot, It's really simple physics.
You point your vehicle at the thing. And you go beyond the speed of 2000000mph.
It's simplicity itself.
A good story, for another time.
Episode 4 of Kenobi explains why the Hyperspace Crash is impossible
From a certain point of view.
I have an actual explanation, but it's their cope version. She wasn't in hyperspace when she hit, but timed the attack who within a microsecond of some universal physics bullshit about being in and out hyperspace at the same time
Okay now explain superman leia
I'm not sure what reason of canoncope they had for that.
Because it doesn't for some reason. I'm just explaining the reason given by writers desperately trying to patch holes. Its not a case of her shooting the ship, it's now a case of her shooting the ship with perfect timing only she can do as a "tactical" expert.
Somehow Palpatine has returned.
Yes
In Fortnite, too.
Sure, but it goes back to what
said. Some roastie can pull off this impossible move, yet Ackbar/Piett/whatever can't do it?
She got really lucky
No fricking idea, it's what Poe said. Like you're pointing out, how hard can it be, just point and shoot. It being so fricking easy breaks Star Wars space battles entirely, if that's a tactic then why the frick did it take so long to see. When I was 8 I asked myself why it wasn't a thing, and answered myself that it would probably just disintegrate the ship going lightspeed, not the other one.
I was fricking 8 and I understood why it wasn't a thing ffs.
I didn't say it was a good explanation
That's moronic. It completely invalidates the first movie. Why send single man fighters to take out the Death Star when you can strap a hyperspace drive onto an asteroid and use that to blow it up?
Why is there sound in space?
Why doesn't the lightsaber go in the air forever like light?
And crashing while being in Hyperspace would not result in the same effect because...?
It gets even more stupid the more you think about it. In a world with disposable clone troopers, advanced AI, and robot warriors, you're telling me they haven't done the cost benefit to make this work out? Not to mention the fact that hyperdrives seem to be cheap enough to be ubiquitous.
Holdo discovered it, she's an empath.
That's why Dune didn't frick up it's entire universe logic from the get-go with the Highliners. You crash or anything into those you're fricking stranded. Also it looks like a worm.
Was it just me, or did they imply that the Heighliners not only travel by folding space, but can actually fold space internally without moving, basically acting like giant gates that people and cargo travel through rather than on? I distinctly remember one shot where we see a different planet down through the interior of one.
Yes. You got it right. You enter on one side of the tunnel and you exit on the other side in a different part of the universe.
It's like a housing place for a wormhole. And each side you look at the heighliner, it bends and refracts light so that it looks different from all sides.
Now how they got several heighliners do remote parts of the univere. I don't know, must've been a b***h being that big. Maybe a Heighliner within a Heighliner.
Either way a beautiful metaphor
I completely agree. As an old-school loregay, I recall them mentioning that interstellar travel is also possible, only far slower and prohibitively expensive. The original true bigboy heighliners were slowboated out there to enable faster travel. They sort of borrowed that concept to explain how Stargates were established in SGU.
Highliners don’t actually have “engines” so to speak. They don’t go to light speed or hyper speed. They sorta “displace” themselves in space. Disappear in one place and reappear in another basically instantly.
It still ruins the previous movies. Hyperdrives are as common as toasters. Even if it's "one in a million," you still rig up hypermissiles if it works at all. It really illustrates the general laziness and lack of thought that went into the sequels.
No, not sequels.
If the Hyperdrive Crash question is a question you could've asked FROM THE FIRST MOVIE in the 70's, (WHICH RIAN JOHNSON DID) then it's a major worldbuilding flaw built in from the get go. A result of Lucas' stealing and rehashing and changing up the homework from Herbert and other Serials. Johnson just used it to kill the franchise permanently.
To me the Hyperdrive Crash was the moment Star Wars Died. Like old Abe Lincoln he might have not died when he got shot. But still, died later and slower anyway.
It wasn't really a flaw at inception, though. It's a gravity-based thing. Deep gravity wells(like stars, planets, large moons, etc.) interact with Hyperspace, basically creating "potholes" that can bounce you back out into 3-Space, destroying both you and your ship - *just* you and your ship, generally, because you don't leave Hyperspace with any more momentum than you entered it with. Ever notice how ships apoear to massively decelerate when they exit Hyperspace? That's not really deceleration in the classical sense. In Hyperspace, you're traveling along dimensional axes you simply don't have access to from 3-Space. So even if you "Holdo'd" into another ship, you'd do so with no more velocity than you had when you first exited 3-Space.
In short, Johnson and Abrams are world-breaking fricking morons.
Wow, okay
Abrams' kinda fricked it up from showing it from the outside too i guess.
They didn't frick up Luke's death.
It's a good twist. And the only new Force Power im actually cool with. It's like a jedi mind trick on a planetary level.
>The sequels are just as good as the originals
Kek, no way. Even the worst of the three originals is better than TFA, which is by FAR the best of the sequels.
You're blinded by nostalgia. 7 clears 6.
You're blinded by absolute shit taste my man. TFA loses a massive amount of points for rehashing a story already done before in ANH, having relatively poor characters with inconsistent morals, and setting up a ton of "interesting" plot points that ended up going absolutely nowhere. By that alone, RotJ is better by a fricking mile, even with fricking ewoks.
Shit taste
Yeah, exactly what I said.
7 8 and 9 are all better than ROTJ by a mile
(You)
Its Kenobin' Time!
I was pleasantly surprised by this show.
Going in, I thought it was just going to be your bog-standard, formulaic nuWars. The trailers certainly gave that impression, so imagine my surprise when after the condensed origin story in the first 15 minutes, it totally stepped away from Kenobi and became something more like a series of vignettes where random Tatooinians would just be going about their days only for Ewan to show up, go balls deep with some ace one-liners, and then just kenobe the frick out of somebody. The best part was you never knew who it would be - the focus character or some random person in their presence. I liked watching them struggle to live some semblance of a normal life after having borne witness to such brutal kenobings.
I was on the edge of my seat, trying to guess who was going to get kenobed next. And in what way. Absolute kino.
I can’t read your post the screen is shaking too much
eextremely disappointed so far. The cgi, script, music and directing is bad. Acting is average except for Ewan. Baby Leia is unnecessary and annoying as frick. I’m not getting Star Wars vibes at all, the inquisitors are the opposite of intimidating and the casting is very average.
Also the reva character and actress is awful
Literally every coloured (black or Asian not alien) character has been shit since Lando
How did Reva get ahead of Leia?
Its Revan, bigot.
Force teleportation
Remember all the racist abuse that Sam Jackson got when the prequels came out? Nah, me neither
I liked the first two episodes very much, but this one was disappointing. I was never a fan of trying to make Vader and Obi-Wan meet between Ep3 and 4, because the original version was great in itself and didn't need to be changed, but even if you wanted to, I think the show did it pretty badly. There wasn't much interesting dialogue between the two apart from generic one liners like "What have you become" "You should have killed me when you had the chance" stuff, the set was boring and didn't suit the scene at all (playing hide and seek on a mostly open, flat field), the cinematography and choreography were uninteresting as well, and the way the fight was resolved felt very contrived. This is now canonically the first reunion between these two characters, and what should've been (and already was in Ep4) a big payoff, felt more like a boring filler or a half finished set up for a future scene.
I don't look at Disney Star Wars as being canon. If George Lucas isn't involved, it isn't Star Wars.
Darth Kannaday is a better real life villain than any new star wars fiction we could have gotten
This is the only logical opinion to have. The OT and prequels are Star Wars, everything else is just nonsense.
based
This show done the same thing with Vader as the prequels but worse. They are making Vader basically entirely irredeemable when he's killing innocent children and villagers
Why the FRICK would Obi Wan view this psychotic c**t as a good friend? In the OT, Vader is a badass villain but in Kenobi he's a psychotic bully.
>They are making Vader basically entirely irredeemable when he's killing innocent children and villagers
Yes? He tortured his own daughter, he was complicit in the destruction of Alderaan. He slaughter the YOUNGLINGS? HELLO?
Because Vader is not Anakin you moron
Then why doesn't he kill Kenobi in the fire?
He was written not to
>Anakin, you are excused from ALL your misdeeds because from a certain point of view, you weren't yourself for 20 years!
Brainlet take
That's literally what they do in the OT.
Cope newbie
No, Vader died to be redeemed. Just saving Luke wasn't enough, if he had lived he would have had to pay for his crimes one way or another, he wouldn't have been forgiven at all. Moral event horizon and all.
Also they're making their reunion in A New Hope less special when you know they've seen each other recently.
And Kenobi less cool cause he kinda gave up on the force instead of being a secret keeper of the old ways, a seed of hope waiting in the cracks.
Why don't droids pilot ships and calculate the hyperspace crash, they're machines. Zero loss of life on your side.
I'd like to imagine that Holdo was just the first one it dawned on, that's my coping mechanism. Also makes the movie a bit more special.
Droids can't use the force. The force guided Holdo. Probably
> I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again at last. The circle is now complete. The day before yesterday I was but the learner. Now, I am the master!
top kek
Holy shit.
I bet we're not even going to see Kenobi's home planet. Could've elaborated on the jon stewart joke, but no
Why did they make the Asian Character Yellow?
And Why Did They make the Black Character a Black person?
Looks like an evil Raiden.
It's Kenobin' Time
>Willy Wan Kenobi
Prequels had asians (trade federation) israelites (watts) and Jamaicans (jar jar) and Samuel Jackson is a straight up Black person
I'm still not over the fact they cast Jackson and didn't allow him to scream and lose his cool.
You should racially abuse him on twitter
Why? I like him.
I CLAPPED
I CLAPPED WHEN I SAW DARTH VAAAAAAAADER
This thread is moving so fast that no one will notice that I'm trans and I love this show. :3
If you never pointed out you were trans we would've liked you more. Now we hate you for pointing it out. You don't have to conform sexually, but this ain't a place where you're fricking, it's a social room. Now you wouldn't pull your dick out in the middle of a lobby? So why do it here. That's why we hate you people. Vegans too. Identity doesn't replace character. And there's never been a cool movie with you gays for a reason. There can't. You've got lameness built in from the get go. Like the flawed Hyperspace system in Star Wars, you suck too.
A lot of words for "I want to frick you" chud
🙂
No, it's a lot of words for you should shut up about the content of your pants.
Not once did I mention that, chud. Seems that's on your mind a lot since you've mentioned it twice. :3
Go be a mutilated sick child grooming frickstain somewhere else, please.
I only watch Kenobi for Leia, so what does this mean? :3
My bad, wrong response.
If you say you're trans, you immediately put that picture in my head. Now you can't wander your dubious little life pretending like you're not aware of doing that. If i say I'm a bulimic, you can't help but not imagine me vomiting. But if you say you're trans, i do vomit in my mouth a little bit. And I'm not bulimic.
Still better than seeing one in person. Horrific abominations.
if you say you're trans, you immediately put that picture in my head. Now you can't wander your dubious little life pretending like you're not aware of doing that. If i say I'm a bulimic, you can't help but not imagine me vomiting. But if you say you're trans, i do vomit in my mouth a little bit. And i'm not bulimic.
Surely his brother was Obi-Too Kenobi.
Can't agree enough, this despicable swine camouflaged as a good story.
Fk Disney and fk sjw
You don't want to sell me onions-drinks. You want to go home and join the 41%
Ep2 was enjoyable due to the setting but then the chase scene happend and they ruined it again, the other two episodes are meh at best
>Vader just casually kills people in the street for no reason
oh.
Makes Sense for the Dark Side doesn't it?
But it just makes him look bit weak and petty in a larger, punching-down kinda way.
For the modern zoomer dark side, yes. For the practical machiavellian scheming galactic empire dark side, not really.
Oh, im not saying it's not uncreative. This show is uncreative and unoriginal and obvious as frick. I'm just saying, choking buttholes to irk Obi Wan out of hiding is not uncharacteristic. It's unnuanced, and unsubtle. That's what makes it awful. I'm more angry that Obi Wan Kenobi just runs away and leaves them. It kinda stains him as a pussy and i didn't want to watch a TV show where Kenobi is a cowardly b***h. I always loved that he'd go head firsti into shit, and took risks. You know, like a Jedi Hero or something.
>like a Jedi Hero
In the show theme it makes sense, kenobi is trying to remain hidden. And in that vader scene he was trying to lead vader away from leia. It would become complete dog shit if kenobi suddenly went jedi hero then went hiding again.
It's all contrived bullshit and tearing Obi Wan down from a warrior sage to a fumbling, washed up coward is stupid bullshit. This is why I watch Chinese movies. They can present an actual heroic character.
>This is why I watch Chinese movies
bruh. Which "chinese" movies? Or are you talking about anime? Cause far as i know, neither of these tend to present a decent hero, and most heroes have the infamous and overused hero journey down to the letter.
>Obi Wan down from a warrior sage to a fumbling, washed up coward
following OT and prequel he never became a coward, he went to a warrior sage to more of a hermit sage. He becomes more powerful during his isolation, this show was supposed to show him going from "im not doing anything cause scared" hiding to "i might do something if it helps luke" sage. But this doesn't seem to what is going to happen
Agreed, but we can't have heroes nowadays. Every character has to be conflicted, have a dark side, be insecure, be a coward, etc. We saw Obi Wan at the end of Ep 3, we saw old Ben at the start of Ep 4. homie obviously didn't go through a midlife crisis and forgot the Force (which is a stupid concept by the way, and undermines what the Force is supposed to be). Now, they wanted to emasculate Kenobi because they can't write good, competent characters you can actually like.
Kenobi had enough going for him to not fall into self-hate and PTSD. The mission to protect and train Luke and Yoda's homework assignment to contact Qui-Gon are both huge goals with galaxy wide ramifications that need him to be at the best of his ability, not falling apart mentally and unable to rein in his emotions.
Even TLJ Luke had more of an excuse to become a failure.
They just never really show Vader operating in that fashion, I mean he didn't show up in Cloud City and start randomly murdering people to find Han and Leia
I'm sure the idea was supposed to be that he's trying to draw obi-wan out but it was still super weird
Its very obvious that he is trying to get Kenobi to expose himself
>he is trying to get Kenobi to expose himself
But that only works if Kenobi is a perv.
>lightsabers now shoot sparks all over when they collide
???
You made up Larry kenobi right OP
>Ah, yes, my brother Donot. A good friend.
>Vader just lets Kenobi go
Fricking hell
I don't care about these Inquisitors and their petty power squabbles AT ALL
Inquisitors are a bad development, possibly the worst in the OT era from the disney canon, since it doesn't make sense for Palpatine to keep a large organisation of dark-siders around and in the public eye to hunt Jedi, especially if the inquisitors are former Jedi under Vader's control. In old canon and more or less explicit in the Lucas films is Vader wanted an apprentice for selfish reasons beyond Luke being his son.
You'd think a network of spies would be the main thing in the task, and Vader could and did handle the killing part of the jedi-hunting programme. It's not like A) the empire isn't near-omnipresent, and B) space travel isn't fast enough for Vader to show up and catch a Jedi if he knows where they are.
It also goes against the canonical way the empire was overtly anti-force as a form of anti-religion. It's obvious as well how this changes the religious parallel from 20th century state atheism to the *ahem* Hollywood-friendly version of La Leyenda Negra, and associated outgrowths and watering downs and repackagings of the basic formula which we have seen a hundred times. Might as well have obi-wan carve a jedi symbol with his lightsaber in third sister's forehead.
>Your sad devotion to that Ancient Religion form 5 years ago that everyone forgot but stills sees on a frequently regular basis hasn't help you conjure up the stolen data tapes.
>wasting his time with deactivating this shit when he can go around it or do one of those Jedi backflips he was so proficient
Is this because of bad writing or bad set design?
Literally the desert in between LA and Vegas.
and yet you're still going to consoom regardless, permacuck