no he'd make a black guy break into my house and the black guy would see my buttplugs and then he'd tell cameron and cameron would want to let me die because butts aren't supposed to be plugged and chase would be cool with it but he'd still make jokes
>ANON, "Doctor house, my chest hurts and I'm having trouble breathing, also my arm hurts. I think it might be my heart?" >"Hurts does it? [pops pills] We're all hurting inside. Go see a therapist if you need to get something off your chest." [angrily hobbles away] >CUDDY, "I'm sorry Mr. ANON, Doctor House usually isn't like this." >ONE OF HOUSE'S MALE INTERNS, DIRECTLY TO THE CAMERA, "Actually, he's always like this." >[ANON Collapses on the floor. Dramatic sting, fade to commercial] >HOUSE, "So we've got a comatose patient complaining of a guilty conscience." >CAMERON, MEEKLY, "No Doctor, I think the patient's having heart trouble; could be a [a heart condition that kills instantly but somehow hasn't killed this patient]?" >FOREMAN, "Can't be that, has to be spontaneous [extremely rare congenital medical condition that causes systemic overt changes from childhood that are debilitating and obvious]?" >CHASE, "Maybe we could do some preliminary diagnostics? EKG, Ascultation, X-Ray, literally any of a wide range of easy and fast diagnostics that can be performed in hospital before we finish this conversation?" >HOUSE, "You're right Chase." [angrily paces around the room], >HOUSE, "We need more evidence. Break into his apartment complex. Search his trash bins, his dresser drawers, search his neighbors trash too." >[ANON's bespoke collection of vintage anime figurines are carefully inspected] >[semen is collected from the figurines and tests are run against the kiss index and the hug database] >HOUSE, "I'm baffled by these results, there isn't even a hit in the Hand Hold database." >[HOUSE and WILSON have a sexually charged argument] >HOUSE, "Wilson you beautiful man, you've made me realize the problem all along: ANON is in congestive heart failure! Begin 200mg of Lasix, administered as a suppository!" >CUDDY, "I'm sorry House, Mr. Anon died this morning. The coroner confirmed he was in congestive heart failure."
>either get perfectly cured of my obscure 00.0001% chance disease attained from a Peruvian Mouse Flea or a big dramatic ending where dr house looks forlorn at me from behind a glass door while I lie dying in a hospital bed, knowing he failed and developing his character some more
sign me up
Sure. I'd just tell the truth to every question he asked and he'd patch me up in 5 minutes instead of going to his team and almost killing me several times.
drugs really aren't as great as druggie homosexuals say they are. it's pure normalgay cope. a good dinner, video game, and some anime is way better than drugs will ever be
>would you go to him?
No I'd go to 13 and convince her I needed a blowjob to live
Weird manface fetish there gaylord.
This was to be a srs thread about illness.
>srs thread
you're gay and your ancestors are even gayer
self kill
If you are alive today your ancestors are by definition based and non-gay. Simple logic.
>Weird manface
Now post today's photo
This thread is about a specific show and how she looked in it. Besides, she still looks good, just a bit older.
Same
Yes
Based. So what is the nature of your illness? If you don't mind me asking on an informal anonymous msg board.
would i go to a world renowned diagnostician? depends... does he take my insurance?
Pretty sure that the hospital he works for is free. That's why Cuddy was always stressed about bringing in money
The clinic was free.
There was that one episode with that guy that drank coof medicine and House said dont thank him before he gets the bill.
>hires women and nigs as doctors
Yeah no thanks he’s probably israeli.
>have itchy left toe
>go to house
>leave 3 days later with my spleen removed and a $200k medical bill
no thanks
Idk man, if i wanted to be cut open, ridiculed and insulted id walk down oakland shouting Black person
Does he do informed consent HRT?
Only during clinic hours, and he secretly gives both FtMs and mtfs testosterone.
Nah I'd go to his dad, who could actually diagnose stuff without having to read his lines from a script.
Why does Bertie Wooster have a pill in his mouth? Where’s Jeeves?
Jeeves is dead anon
It’s been 30 years
no he'd make a black guy break into my house and the black guy would see my buttplugs and then he'd tell cameron and cameron would want to let me die because butts aren't supposed to be plugged and chase would be cool with it but he'd still make jokes
No because it would be like this:
>ANON, "Doctor house, my chest hurts and I'm having trouble breathing, also my arm hurts. I think it might be my heart?"
>"Hurts does it? [pops pills] We're all hurting inside. Go see a therapist if you need to get something off your chest." [angrily hobbles away]
>CUDDY, "I'm sorry Mr. ANON, Doctor House usually isn't like this."
>ONE OF HOUSE'S MALE INTERNS, DIRECTLY TO THE CAMERA, "Actually, he's always like this."
>[ANON Collapses on the floor. Dramatic sting, fade to commercial]
>HOUSE, "So we've got a comatose patient complaining of a guilty conscience."
>CAMERON, MEEKLY, "No Doctor, I think the patient's having heart trouble; could be a [a heart condition that kills instantly but somehow hasn't killed this patient]?"
>FOREMAN, "Can't be that, has to be spontaneous [extremely rare congenital medical condition that causes systemic overt changes from childhood that are debilitating and obvious]?"
>CHASE, "Maybe we could do some preliminary diagnostics? EKG, Ascultation, X-Ray, literally any of a wide range of easy and fast diagnostics that can be performed in hospital before we finish this conversation?"
>HOUSE, "You're right Chase." [angrily paces around the room],
>HOUSE, "We need more evidence. Break into his apartment complex. Search his trash bins, his dresser drawers, search his neighbors trash too."
>[ANON's bespoke collection of vintage anime figurines are carefully inspected]
>[semen is collected from the figurines and tests are run against the kiss index and the hug database]
>HOUSE, "I'm baffled by these results, there isn't even a hit in the Hand Hold database."
>[HOUSE and WILSON have a sexually charged argument]
>HOUSE, "Wilson you beautiful man, you've made me realize the problem all along: ANON is in congestive heart failure! Begin 200mg of Lasix, administered as a suppository!"
>CUDDY, "I'm sorry House, Mr. Anon died this morning. The coroner confirmed he was in congestive heart failure."
Underrated
Anon..
>WILSON, "I too, was in this episode."
i love when people greentext fake episodes
>either get perfectly cured of my obscure 00.0001% chance disease attained from a Peruvian Mouse Flea or a big dramatic ending where dr house looks forlorn at me from behind a glass door while I lie dying in a hospital bed, knowing he failed and developing his character some more
sign me up
>autistic knowitall doctor
>heavy tan
????
He also drives cool bikes plays piano and guitar and plays videogames at work, having the tism doesn't mean you have to be uncool.
>autistic
he wasn't autistic, he was an honest to god extrovert and a gigachad before his leg got fricked making him a punished gigachad instead
House was a ligma male.
Sure. I'd just tell the truth to every question he asked and he'd patch me up in 5 minutes instead of going to his team and almost killing me several times.
How many times in the past month have you engaged in homosexual intercourse?
0 intercourse with anyone going on 4 years now.
i would paint the inside of house-era Olivia Wilde's womb with my semen daily she was so hot back then
Cameron is the best
As long as he shared his opiate medication the greatest things in this world
Sex and Ritalin and taking a nature walk on opiates
drugs really aren't as great as druggie homosexuals say they are. it's pure normalgay cope. a good dinner, video game, and some anime is way better than drugs will ever be