"I'll suck your wiener for a thousand dollars"
 Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
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Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
"I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars"
"I'll suck your wiener for a thousand dollars"
Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
|
Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
Imagine sucking dick and getting paid to do it
I wish I was a woman
theres a reason they have to pay anon... thats all im gonna say
There's plenty of 6/10 dudes who are just socially moronic and can't get chicks who will pay
Not exactly, theres plenty of guys who pay because they just want to get straight to the point. Also old married dudes.
gratis
Nothing is stopping you from doing it now, hell you can stop doing it for free and hit those streets
This guy came up to me in the train station and offered me $200 for a blow job. It is possible.
are you a cute twink anon?
thats a lot more than I usually charge, but you've got a deal
I know this thread will die soon and it doesn't matter but this post is underrated
RIP Hoff
that's marvellous
Tommy, how’s the peepin?
Tommy…..how’s the peepin
Funniest fricking delivery in a film full of them.
>without the necessary means for the necessary means to get their wiener sucked
I miss him
I miss this lil' homie like you wouldn't believe.
I miss this homie like you wouldn't believe
He was absolutely kino in Happiness
Thank God that he's dead.
Rest in piss
Rest in power. He was one of the greatest actors ever. He's now in heaven looking down on us. I'm going to watch Lebowski today in honour of Hofman. I miss this homie like you wouldn't believe
Sorry homie extremely doubtful he's in heaven. He was a great actor, but that's not what gets you in.
Rest in power
>Her life is in your hands, Dude.
I love Brent.
qrd?
Some israeli guy from Hollywood
I’d pay up to $10k to be honest
What was the point of the movie?
The dude abides
his life sucks but at least he had SEX
For you to watch it
what's the point of life?
it’s like, a critique on capitalism bro
> Dude it was totally a noir film can't you see ????????
don't trust people in a wheelchair
>he thinks movies have to have points
how else am I supposed to keep score?
Yes
t. Every English teacher
You're arguing against the point you wanted to make.
It's like a noir crime movie but with stoners in california.
The point is the resolve the mystery of what happened to bunny lebowski and then the conspiracy about the money.
And to entertain you along the way.
I dont like your jerk off name
I dont like your jerk off face
I dont like your jerk off behaviour
and I dont like you, jerk off
Never base your aprtment's decor around a single piece of rug
That rug really tied the room together
It really did dude.
To make you laugh your ass off.
There wasn't a point. Nihilism.
>Ve're gonna cut off your Johnson, Lebovski.
I SAID WE CUT OFF YOUR JOHNSON!
character study of the dude. it's that simple
Comedic satire of detective stories where the hard boiled detective is replaced by some stoner slacker hippie. And because of that it almost overlaps with "neo-noir' since satire and playing with detective tropes is what neo-noir was known for.
The Nihilists are the most active scheming people in the film.
>The Nihilists are the most active scheming people in the film.
I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.
To make you give a shit about the rules Donny
Witness a man who does nothing BUT "touch grass" and "have sex".
To provide entertainment. It done exactly that. If you dont like lebowski you are a Black person, chink, arab or some halfwit lowlife.
It’s like a zen Buddhist thing. The more attached he is to chasing the rug, his car, the creedence tapes etc, the more bad shit happens to him. It’s only when he basically gives up on the whole situation that everything kind of resolves itself. At least that’s the message I always took from it.
no blowjob is worth a thousand dollars
Well I think 1k is okay - if she pays in cash
I'll say "Ok", pull out dick, let her suck it and then frick off and don't pay
>WE HAD A CONTRACT!
I didn't sign anything
>IT WAS AN ORAL CONTRACT...
HaHA!
😉
Ah hahahahaha! Wonderful woman.
For that much she’d better allow me to blow a couple loads in her pussy
Correct
I love getting head but that is not worth it
I usually charge 5K but I'll cut you a deal.
You stole my joke! I'll kill you!
I was er 'courting' a girl once and she said she loved sex (I guess as a not to subtle hint) but then she said she whish she could get paid to have sex all day. Didn't talk to her much after that.
I have lots of money, can you give me her number please.
shes a 5/10 slampig but sure
I'd let her suck my dick for a lot less tbqh
Today she would probably suck it for $10
Today she would make you suck 'hers' for $10
i've paid $60 for a blowjob before and felt like the biggest homosexual on earth, it's a cucked experience. blowjobs for money are lame, who wants some random stupid prostitute's spit on your dick if she's not even into it and just trying to get it over with
if i paid a grand for this shit the resultant cuck tier shame might make me off myself. or at least make me seriously reevaluate my life choices. fricking coomers.
>You'll suck our wieners?
Underrated
One thousand more?
How much is a fair amount to pay for a decent blowey?
$5 to $20 dorrah max
I would give anyone a blowjob for 100 thousands dollars. That is my minimum for gay blowjobs.
like 20 bucks.
If you're with a girl worth a damn, you're gonna get full service. BJ only is a quick and dirty affair reserved for truck stop hookers and street walkers who you probably don't want full service from. Like Wendy in Breaking Bad
no matter what you pay its not worth it. anything less than 100 is crack prostitute region and anything past 100 you could easily get more value for that. a triple a game is what, 60 bucks and at least 200 hours play time?
I have a prostitute agency number in my phone contacts and the minimum they charge is £160 but that's to anything you want.
how do I into using escort services fellow britbong? I want to pick up a girl for a blowie in my car every now and then, is that a thing?
Never picked up a street prostitute also they're illegal. Escorts on the other hand are perfectly legal. You can find girls on Adult Works website or Vivastreet. I managed to find a proper agency though through luck and they're a lot more trustworthy than randomly picking someone on the web. Usually pictures are fake and you might end up with a ham planet at your door whereas the agency sends real pics and doesn't try to scam you. It's not very hard, just be careful because some will try to get your money and frick off without doing anything.
I tried googling escort services near my location a while back but didn't really yield any results. I'm in the south-west. thanks for the recs
Midlands here. Probably helps I live like 20 minutes away from Sheffield since that's where most of them come from
>Escorts on the other hand are perfectly legal.
Yeah but fricking them isn't.
>idiots in /tv supposedly knowing anything about sex, much less legal or illegal kinds
Listen...if you pay and someone finds out, it's illegal. If you drop money on the dresser and she tells you how she fell in love with you for the next 30 minutes to full hour GFE with Russian & Greek...
then my man, it ain't illegal.
After all...if the contract specifies time, not acts, it's not illegal.
Also...uhhh...
you aren't a postal inspector by any chance, are you?
I'm not a postal inspector, no
Why?
I was at women who looked better then her and payed only 60$ for a half an hour of sex / blowjob
most of Cinemaphile's mums charge $10. $15 to get them to swallow
I'd let her suck it for free, so an extra $1000 is pretty nice.
New card
What do you think?
>new card
anon, step to the side and check these...
i got a head job from an 8' tall alien serial killer.
I wonder how much she charges to let somebody eat her ass and pussy from the back
Replace thousand with twenty and you've got my ten year old sister.
Your 10 year old sister gives blowies for $20?
I'm guessing... Cambodians
Nice try, glowie.
Why is this film so fricking amusing to watch?
It's not particularly good, it's just that all the characters and their setting are so likeable.
It's incredibly good its one of the tightest scripts ever. Great direction. Great acting. Great jokes.
>It's not particularly good
Share a "good" movie then.
The Shawshank Redemption
I've been thinking of offering this girl I knew in high school 1500 dollars to take my virignity. We were friends after high school, she used to drive like an hour to hang out with me, but it was only ever as a friend and being a horny teen incel I wanted more, so I kept ghosting her and she finally stopped reaching out. I felt bad about it but whatever. Anyway she's had like 9 boyfriends since. I'm a 28 year old virgin. I'm figuring since she's the sex positive type, if I run into her, seeing as she works in food service as a late 20s college graduate with a meme degree that doesn't make her any money, I could eventually bring up my struggles with women and I've been on a few dates but it never works out (which is true to be fair) and then say I've put aside like 1500 to get a nice hooker for my 30th birthday, just so I experienced sex for once in my life. Maybe if she is broke or just wants the money she could offer or hint at it. I haven't seen her in years but I know where she works now. I'm not gonna stalk or harass her, but I feel more and more tempted to try this even though I KNOW it's beyond moronic. Especially seeing as I have no emotional attachment to her anymore.
I mean if you've always wanted to bang her, I don't see why you wouldn't want to try. Just as long as you're okay with the knowledge of you paying her possibly getting around your social circle.
could just find a high end escort rather than potentially freaking her out. or just ask her out, do the pleasantries for a while until she fricks you and then never speak to her again.
>do the pleasantries for a while until she fricks you and then never speak to her again.
That's not how it works. I "did the pleasantries" for a long time. Women are either attracted to you or they aren't. That doesn't change just because 8 years went by.
That's a fair point actually, I had a similar thing when I was a teenager. Hung out with a girl for a couple years and tried it on a few times but got no where always "I see you more like a brother". Eventually told her straight and that I didn't want to see her anymore because I wanted to go out with her instead and she didn't bat an eyelid. Still, I wouldn't contemplate finding her again and offering her £1000 to frick me but I understand the desperation.
Holy Jesus fricking Christ anon just go and talk to her and forget about the $1500 sex proposal as that is otherworldly layers of autism.
She isn't gonna frick me just cause I talk to her again. Also she has a boyfriend right now so I gotta wait for her to get bored of fricking him. Her bfs have become uglier and more beta so I'm wondering if she's lowering her standards. Still I doubt she'd fricked me for free. Also corrupting a woman into being a prostitute is a huge fetish of mine.
>Also corrupting a woman into being a prostitute is a huge fetish of mine.
Yeah and they hate that shit (for the most part). I'm sure this has been done in movies/shows multiple times so maybe you should find those and watch them... this is Cinemaphile after all.
>Also she has a boyfriend right now so I gotta wait for her to get bored of fricking him.
This is a fools errand right here. Women are never single, at least no one under 30. They get their next boyfriend ready before dumping their original one. You can be that next bf. Kill or be killed
So I should pursue women even if they're taken? How do I even do that? I'm basically asking her to cheat.
My dad always said just because a girl has a bf, you shouldn't give up but he's a chad that has slept with married women.
>So I should pursue women even if they're taken?
Yes
>I'm basically asking her to cheat
That's her business. If she thinks you're better than her bf that's her decision.
I know this sounds evil, but there's literally no other way. Trying to wait for a golden opportunity for a girl to be single is hopeless. Get to know her while she's still dating someone, work your way in, and she may very well ditch her old bf for you.
If she cheats on her boyfriend she's gonna cheat on you as well.
Who cares? I just want to frick her.
Im definitely not better than her bf.
How do I know if she is willing to cheat with me?
I’ve dealt with this kind of woman before, stay the hell away from girls that pogo from wiener to wiener they’re literally a waste of good suffering
What about if it's just for sex?
Yeah or I could just do it here with a random prostitute. I want it to be somewhat sentimental. If I can't get a relationship then paying my high school crush to frick is about as good as I can get.
Nah man, trust me. If you're this old and you haven't fricked just get it done with someone you won't see again. After that you'll be good.
I won't see her again after it happens.
>Kill or be killed
Anon's body lay lifeless and limp on the cold hard steel bed in the coroner's office.
"Time of death - 03:16AM," said the coroner.
this
Holy shit, how can you type that first sentance and not immediately want to have a nice day? To be 30 years old and either still be a virgin or care about virginity enough to spend money and ridicule yourself. And to still be obsessed about a girl from over a decade ago that rejected you yet you now want to degrade her memory by turning her into a passionless prostitute for an obscene amount of money that is better spent pursuing a real loving relationship.
Protip: sex is incredibly overrated as a physical act. Losing your virginity is put on a pedestal because most people lost it young with someone that genuinely cares for them so it's a very emotionally valuable moment. It also helps to make sex less alien so they don't feel as much anxiety pursuing it in the future. Paying for sex will never have genuine emotions and will often be passionless, especially when an incel from a decade ago shows up at your door looking you up and down. So your only real positive takeaway will be removing the taboo from sex which costs waaaaay less than $1500 cause you can hire any prostitute at that point. Your entire outlook on this is incredibly juvenile and patheticly desperate.
I will never have a real loving relationship. No woman will ever be genuinely attracted to me. Why do you bring up 1500 spent on pursuing a "real loving relationship" lmao plenty of people date each other spending far less than that in total. Also the idea of conquering a decent looking girl with money turns me on. Paying a normal prostitute is just lame and easy.
>tainting her memory
You tell me not to put women on pedestals then say this. What is the difference?
If you have that kind of money just fly to Thailand or Costa Rica or wherever closest to you and just fly home and be done with it and no one will be the wiser. Worked for me!
i like it anon, the worst she'll say is no. If she's a sex positive prostitute she's not going to be a prude about it she'll just say no or maybe even just no to the money.
Is there a way I can present it without seeming like I'm trying to insult her? I don't think of her as a prostitute but she's someone I was friends with long ago and would trust. I also don't want to upset her or make her start telling everyone I know. Even though we have zero friends in common anymroe.
Man I'd pay a lot of money to frick one of the girls I went to HS with.
just marry them then
The money will offend her. If you hit her up all these years later she will know why. Spend the money on taking her out like a normal person.
Yeah what if I "happen" to run into her so we can catch up? She ain't gonna want to frick me just cause she's older. She already thinks of me as an incel for sure.
But I'll try to get a feeling from our conversation first.
Why are you guys talking like 1500 dollars is a lot of money? Are you that poor?
Well I told a bunch of people online once that everyone has their price and said as an example to some girl, would you frick me for 1000 dollars, and she said it wouldn't even have to be 1000. I doub that's true for most women but 1500 is the most I will pay.
I'll suck your dollar for a thousand wieners.
She literally still will
3000 YEARS OF BEAUTIFUL TRADITION
YOURE DAMN RIGHT IM LIVING IN THE FRICKING PAST
I DON'T ROLL ON SHABBAT!
A grand for a blowjob? Frick I got a nosh for two bottles of cheap wine and a 4-pack of cider a few weeks ago.
>4-pack of cider
What brand?
The brand which gives you herpes.
Any movies for this feel besides Home Alone 2?
>herpes.
HSV-1 or 2?
Home Alone 4.
Strongbow
>Strongbow
Classy lady at least.
So i was just talking with a decent looking troony and some rich persian from an oil family paid her $5k for an online chat and is now gonna pay her $10k to come on vacation with him. May also buy her a condo.
Live is that easy on female mode
Why do you think so many girls want to be dubai porta potties?
im 28 and never kissed a girl
don't give up
A commentary on porn star escort prices in the post Onlyfans-era is likely what they were going for. In the early 90s you probably could get full service from Christy Canyon for 5 bills.
What can I get for twenty?
AIDs most likely
>excuse myself to the wc
>jerk off in 30 seconds
>come back out
I'm good thanks
You need to give me 2 thousands dollars b***h
showing teeth like that didn't make it the most attractive offer of all time.
Lol she'd have to pay me a thousand dollars.
>"I'll suck your wiener for a 5 bucks"
fockin' 'elle, absolute womit
oof
I see, she answered the call.
What, did they suck all the fat they put in people’s faces out of her?
It has to come from somewhere.
hey smoothskin
I want my gf to suck my wiener