The amount of faggery I see from people on his show treating him like the don or something like they were told he's Larry King or some shit and gotta pay respect to the guy "oh Joe you're a force I love, you have a way, you just, you have this energy" shut up dude.
Just sit down and fucking talk or fuck off
You can see immediately Joe's demeanour shift to forcibly kind and his responses shorten. Now I don't like wasting time listening to this shit when there isn't someone interesting on but it's kinda fascinating the amount of self cuckery that goes on in the guest chair
Rogan sucks too. I don’t get his appeal other than that he has eccentric and controversial figures on his show. He’s a terrible host and interviewer IMO.
In Kreischer's story, he claims that his trip to Russia was part of an exchange program through FSU. However, there is no evidence to support the existence of an official FSU exchange program with Russia during the time Kreischer attended the university. A thorough search of FSU's official exchange programs and historical records yields no information about such a program, which leads me to doubt the truth of his story.
All of the students corroborated the story. The fact you're seething that you piss yourself at open mics while Bert does incredible crowd work and entertains millions isn't a good look for you.
whats there to say at that point? "Im a fucking retard and doubled down on something a quick google would have saved me the embarrassment of claiming"?
Doesn't corroborate anything. 3 of the images are from the same park/area/day
And burts not in the others. Where's the pic of him infront of st basils?
NTA,it's not my job to chase down all evidence. there is enough evidence to show that it isn't a complete fabrication and that's enough authenticity for anyone who isn't autistic.
2 weeks ago
Anonymous
No it isnt you stupid cuntless cunt. It makes him a liar.
whats there to say at that point? "Im a fucking retard and doubled down on something a quick google would have saved me the embarrassment of claiming"?
What the fuck does those 3 random pictures prove? There's nothing there that proves anything lmao what the fuck are you talking about? >oh ya? Well here's a picture of me at a park and in a building with some guy. Take that!
Explain how the school didn't even have any kind of program that involved going to Russia
In Kreischer's story, he claims that his trip to Russia was part of an exchange program through FSU. However, there is no evidence to support the existence of an official FSU exchange program with Russia during the time Kreischer attended the university. A thorough search of FSU's official exchange programs and historical records yields no information about such a program, which leads me to doubt the truth of his story.
whats there to say at that point? "Im a fucking retard and doubled down on something a quick google would have saved me the embarrassment of claiming"?
>so blurry and out of focus you can't even see what language is on the beer
Well that proves it! Hahaha
>which leads me to doubt the truth of his story.
The idea of a college allowing a bunch of 20 year olds to be escorted by the Russian mob didn't already tip you off?
Fake stories are normalized at this point, nobody cares. Every single modern day comic either heavily embelishes or completely makes up their life stories. Nobody calls them out cause other comics do it too and it stops the flow of conversation.
I liked it when comedians used to have fun with fake stories, like Richard Pryor having a conversation with a talking dog or Dave Chappelle and the crack baby.
I hope Eddie Murphy's comeback is actual comedy and not just "so here's something I read on twitter" like most nu-comedy.
>Yes because they neither presented the stories as real
Did Chappelle preempt the crawl baby bit it’s informing the audience what he is about to tell them isn’t true? When telling the story about his white friend being pulled over by the cops, does he pause to say “by the way, this didn’t really happen” ?
Dave Chappelle wasn't bragging about himself or showing how cool he was with the crack baby story. It was supposed to be funny and some argue that whole story with the crack baby was funny. That's the whole point. Trying to make people laugh with funny stories. Doesn't matter if they're true or false.
Retards like him
>A standup comedian... lied
think the whole point of stand up comedy is to tell lies about yourself to make yourself look cool and pretend it's true
I thought it was pretty funny how Louis ck starts off a bit like “I was at the store, or was it the street? Oh it doesn’t matter I’m making it up anyway”
Stand up comedians don't usually make up stories to make themselves look as cool as possible, not only is the machine a total lie, it is one of the most ridiculously blatant lies any stand up comedian has ever told, and not only does he still want people to actually buy this bullshit, it made his entire career and time and time again he shows how inept at actual comedy he is. There's a clear difference between The Machine and louie telling a story about fucking with a neighbor in his building by looking as gross as possible, or feltface's gumtree story.
He may be a shit comedian, but he does have cred independent of Rogan. He's been doing stand up for decades and had minor acting roles in the 90s and 00s.
>It's a blatant lie >Goes viral, gets a movie, becomes Bert's entire schtick all because the humour comes from the fact that it's outrageous yet plausible
You're dumb. Part of the comedy is that it's convincing enough.
>yet plausible
Bottomline is it isn't funny you gay. >B-B-BUT NORMIES AND HOLLYWOOD SAID-
You really think that argument is going to fly here of all places?
>because the humour comes from the fact that it's outrageous yet plausible
It's not funny because it's just one big selfish story of conquest and the fact that it isn't true at all makes it even worse.
They typically have at least a small grain of truth, like he at least went to Russia as a student or something, but it's just 100% made up bullshit. He might as well tell a story about going to the moon with his class and all the aliens thought he was the coolest because he drank the most, it would be just as believable and realistic
Worst part is, not only is it not a real story, but Bert didn't even come up with it. He bought it off someone in a bar or something for a few hundred.
I assume by default that every personal story a comedian tells is either made up or heavily exaggerated. But that doesn't bother me much so long as it's funny.
Someone post the video where Bert gets flustered and fails to make some random kid laugh, probably because the kid doesn't understand how a stupid frat guy story is supposed to be a joke.
Is that Skylar?
Protip to women actors: Don't play a bitch if you're over 30. Then you're just a bitch. You can play a bitch if you look like Sydney Sweeney, but not if you're playing a housewife.
Or I suppose just be prettier than the actress that played Skylar from BB.
Does The Machine even count as a joke? It's just a fat frat guy telling a fake ass story where he jacks himself off about how cool he is, I heard so many bullshit stories like his when I was in college. Why did this one make normies scream and shit their pants with laughter?
The punchline is when the cop comes up at the end and says "So I hear you're The Machine..." meaning he's gained notoriety as a Russian Mobster in such a short amount of time. It's also sort of complex because the linguistic joke is that in Russian the word for machine and man sound similar, so what he was trying to say was "I'm The Man!" But instead said machine.
>meaning he's gained notoriety as a Russian Mobster in such a short amount of time.
Why is that funny? What reaction is this whole story supposed to get out of me? Woah man that's so cool, you're like such a badass.
I hadn't either until I saw this poster spammed here. Checked out the original bit and didn't crack a smile. This guy is an obnoxious, rat-faced charisma vacuum
LOL how did I not know about this?
dude is basically the zoomer Larry the cable guy. It's crazy because most comedians I think are bad on stage are at least usually funny or interesting on podcasts but even then this guy is forgettable and unfunny.
I don’t think any zoomers are into Bert kreischer, his target audience and who he sells out to is alcoholic 40-50 year old white trash below the mason dixon line
>Hey Mark, we saw your tweets, wanna be in our movie about how Russians are stupid and evil
He probably did it for free. Shit who knows, he could've paid for them to rework the script just to write him into the movie
Idk I like him better when he’s terminally on twitter cramming his liberal hollwood opinions down real Americans throats but what can I say? Im a sneed for the seethe
Bert can cover it with half of his palm, he had to be nude when they did one of their sober October challenges with Rogan(weighing themselves before and after) and he removes his underwear. It's burned into my retina unfortunately.
It's when Rogan showed off his monkey body as well.
I don't give a shit about the story being fake, I give a shit that it isn't funny at all to begin with. It's like the plot of a bad episode of a sitcom that everyone skips.
And another thing: forget the story being completely fake and pretty lame to begin with. We're now going to have to FURTHER embellish an already completely fake, unfunny story to get it to stretch into a 90 minute movie. 90% of this movie is literally going to be modernized Yakov Smirnoff jokes.
If you're talking about the scene in Mandalorian, he didn't do that scene. He was on set, and they filmed him doing a take for reference, but the actual deepfake was done on a young actor with a facial shape that was close enough to young Hamill that it would make the process a lot more clean since you can actually use a lot of the performance there.
But yeah, no actual Hamill footage was used in that scene at all, because that's literally just not how deepfakes work. It'd look fucking horrible if they tried to make his face look like young Luke.
They could just cast an entirely different young actor, like they did for Han
it would >look better >be more respectful >be more tasteful >be less jarring >sound better >be less soulless, demonic, satanic, dystopian, scary and evil >not distract you from the show
Man how the fuck did this alcoholic fat fuck get so famous? I would rather be bombarded with Stav's shitty crowd work and sex jokes 24/7 than see this talentless hack's unfunny MASHEEN story one more time
Stav is way gayer and way more annoying then bert. I’d hang out with bert, if stav asked to hang out with me, id roundhouse kick that bitch down a flight of steps
It's been a long time since we've had a "fat man doing ridiculous things" movie hit the theaters and this will satisfy that itch. After Jonah Hill lost his mind he left a big hole in that market just waiting for somebody like this guy to come along.
Different kind of humour to jonah hill tho. There’s a pity to jonah, which is really what broke his mind. That we cannot stop viewing him as less than us. But bert is this larger than life liar frat guy persona.
Probably, everyone who knows him has already heard the actual story and isn’t interested in his further revisions.
Also internet famous people highly overestimate their popularity, people are watching because it’s free not because they enjoy the content. A big internet audience doesn’t translate to a big purchasing audience
I saw it, it was fine. Never seen the stand up bit or this guy's podcast. Ever since Pineapple Express every once in a while one of these comedies with occasional gunfights and gross out gore moments pops up, they're all meh but none of them have made me angry like you freaks
Best moments in this area def the couple of gory ones, plus both the broad from Wolf of Wall Street and the Russian girl are really hot
My Dad and 5 of his work friends already have tickets for tomorrow, they are going as a group after work. My dad is pretty excited, he isn't a huge Bert fan but he loves the machine story and his friends at work apparently say "I'm the machine" in a Russian accent whenever they fuck something up at work, so they all have some skin in it.
it appeals to the lowest common denominator of the population, like The Hangover and Fast And Furious. It will make money and society will continue its downward spiral.
it's an interesting sample size - cocaine bear delivered on the premise, cocaine fueled bear rampaging
renfield on the other hand had no nic cage acting like crazy dracula, just some fag tier acting from hoult about how much he adores ugly asian pussy
on every other metric they're similar - lazy cinematography, overuse of gore, not that funny unless you're 90 IQ.
based on this sample alone it'll make money
>cocaine bear delivered on the premise, cocaine fueled bear rampaging
It delivered on it kinda but also underdelivered and focused on a bunch of people nobody gives a shit about more than the burr.
>renfield on the other hand had no nic cage acting like crazy dracula, just some fag tier acting from hoult about how much he adores ugly asian pussy
you haven't seen renfield
Movie that works as a sequel to his comedy bit. Concept is that Russian mobsters he stole from in the bit recognize him when it goes viral and kidnap him and his father
>30 seats in pic >10 filled
that's not bad for a relative hollywood unknown is it? kreischer hasn't seemed desperate to promote this either, he's just treating it as another project
I only see movies in theaters if they include some of the following criteria (the more the better): >Make fun of Leftists >Make fun of trannies >Make fun of anything "woke" or whatever >Fails the "Bechdel Test"
Anyone know if this film is qualified to watch in the theatre?
the "Bechdel Test"
It does, the only time I remember 2 women talking was the mother and daughter complaining about the dad at the start and I don't think any women talk to each other after that point >Make fun of anything "woke" or whatever
eh maybe but not really, the Russians keep making fun of The Machine having tits and calling him a girly man and I think he made a comment about "I guess wokeness hasn't come to Russia yet" but that could be taken either way. It's a very un-PC film though, but unfortunately not to the point of making fun of lefties or trannies.
Sort of yeah, it's like John Wick does The Hangover, except he's not really John Wick and all the badass gangsters he meets are disappointed when they find out he's actually just a fat schlub with a massively over-inflated reputation who only survives because of luck, or the people around him doing all the work.
>"I guess wokeness hasn't come to Russia yet"
It would've been so much better if this film was an early 2000s period piece, but I guess they're not competent enough to pull that off.
There's some of that, a lot of the actual story is told through flashbacks to the The Machine story happening, Jimmy Tatro is playing Young Bert and he got #3 billing
There were no russian ~~*(mob*~~) that period of time. Even now every ~~*(mob*~~) here is etnical and there is no slav ~~*(mob*~~): only armenian, georgian, chechnyan, doggystahny etc.
If he actually was on a train he met low life train theifs.
If he actually met them they robbed him and kicked his fat lilly american ass.
So ether there was no story at all ot it didn't happen they he tells.
Example of a true story about 90s Яussia: Louis CK glue story.
t. Яoosky living in Яussia who grew up in the 90s.
this tbh
when people think of the "russian mob" in the US, they're literally thinking of Ukrainian garden gnomes living in Brighton Beach in Brooklyn, basically Nic Cage in Lord of War. South Brooklyn now has a ton of other ex-USSR ethnic enclaves but those ukrainians were the first to get there.
If this was a true story, you would've absolutely heard about it from any of the other dozen students who had all of their shit stolen in the middle of Moscow, and had to go buy clothes for the rest of their trip.
Or Bert would've done a comedy tour in Russia and invited those guys to be on stage or whatever.
Seems like it's a real story, that is very much embellished.
More pics here
https://imgur.com/a/mf15yLM#LZbPvgp
Obviously Bert has been orchestrating this entire bit since he was in college and took a private trip to Russia with friends and took a bunch of staged photos just in case he got called out about it in the future
There's not a single picture with him holding a beer that's not so blurry that you can't see what language is even on the beer buddy. Gonna guess that's on purpose
There's not a single picture with him in it that has anything else that proves its in Russia.
If this was a true story, you would've absolutely heard about it from any of the other dozen students who had all of their shit stolen in the middle of Moscow, and had to go buy clothes for the rest of their trip.
Or Bert would've done a comedy tour in Russia and invited those guys to be on stage or whatever.
Seems like it's a real story, that is very much embellished.
forgot to link post, the beer bottle in that imgur pic is baltika
some fat comedian.
Appeared out of nowhere for me and a lot of other people about a year or less ago.
I drink from a 2L jug and two people said it reminded them of some podcast bit with this guy, and then i started seeing him everywhere, a bunch of shit added to netflix all at once, etc.
Yeah, I haven't seen a comedy in theaters in forever. I can't wait.
a belly flop amirite
Wow, he gets shirtless for movies too. What can't he do?
>What CAN he do
ftfy
tell the truth
act
Entertain.
No it's gonna make 1 billion dollars.
>Hey Joe, please please please let me be on your show to shill my piece of shit movie the day before it comes out
I hate him the most
Every time a comedian goes on JRE it becomes a big “you’re so great” cocksuck
I listened to 30 seconds of Bert, that’s how long it took for them to start basically fagging out
the hilarious thing is how much of a cunt he is to comedians he thinks as less than him. Not directly but in a sociable college bull kind of way.
I thought I was the only one that noticed this
The amount of faggery I see from people on his show treating him like the don or something like they were told he's Larry King or some shit and gotta pay respect to the guy "oh Joe you're a force I love, you have a way, you just, you have this energy" shut up dude.
Just sit down and fucking talk or fuck off
You can see immediately Joe's demeanour shift to forcibly kind and his responses shorten. Now I don't like wasting time listening to this shit when there isn't someone interesting on but it's kinda fascinating the amount of self cuckery that goes on in the guest chair
Rogan sucks too. I don’t get his appeal other than that he has eccentric and controversial figures on his show. He’s a terrible host and interviewer IMO.
In Kreischer's story, he claims that his trip to Russia was part of an exchange program through FSU. However, there is no evidence to support the existence of an official FSU exchange program with Russia during the time Kreischer attended the university. A thorough search of FSU's official exchange programs and historical records yields no information about such a program, which leads me to doubt the truth of his story.
All of the students corroborated the story. The fact you're seething that you piss yourself at open mics while Bert does incredible crowd work and entertains millions isn't a good look for you.
>source:my ass
btfo by
but no replies, how curious
whats there to say at that point? "Im a fucking retard and doubled down on something a quick google would have saved me the embarrassment of claiming"?
Doesn't corroborate anything. 3 of the images are from the same park/area/day
And burts not in the others. Where's the pic of him infront of st basils?
NTA,it's not my job to chase down all evidence. there is enough evidence to show that it isn't a complete fabrication and that's enough authenticity for anyone who isn't autistic.
No it isnt you stupid cuntless cunt. It makes him a liar.
What are their names?
These students who corroborated
being not a mouthbreather and googling for five seconds for yourself returns this: https://imgur.com/a/mf15yLM#LZbPvgp
What the fuck does those 3 random pictures prove? There's nothing there that proves anything lmao what the fuck are you talking about?
>oh ya? Well here's a picture of me at a park and in a building with some guy. Take that!
Explain how the school didn't even have any kind of program that involved going to Russia
>so blurry and out of focus you can't even see what language is on the beer
Well that proves it! Hahaha
Hi Bert.
>which leads me to doubt the truth of his story.
The idea of a college allowing a bunch of 20 year olds to be escorted by the Russian mob didn't already tip you off?
Fake stories are normalized at this point, nobody cares. Every single modern day comic either heavily embelishes or completely makes up their life stories. Nobody calls them out cause other comics do it too and it stops the flow of conversation.
I liked it when comedians used to have fun with fake stories, like Richard Pryor having a conversation with a talking dog or Dave Chappelle and the crack baby.
I hope Eddie Murphy's comeback is actual comedy and not just "so here's something I read on twitter" like most nu-comedy.
Yes because they neither presented the stories as real nor did they use them to self aggrandize.
>Yes because they neither presented the stories as real
Did Chappelle preempt the crawl baby bit it’s informing the audience what he is about to tell them isn’t true? When telling the story about his white friend being pulled over by the cops, does he pause to say “by the way, this didn’t really happen” ?
Did Bert? Most stand up comedians don't. Why would they?
Dave Chappelle wasn't bragging about himself or showing how cool he was with the crack baby story. It was supposed to be funny and some argue that whole story with the crack baby was funny. That's the whole point. Trying to make people laugh with funny stories. Doesn't matter if they're true or false.
Retards like him
think the whole point of stand up comedy is to tell lies about yourself to make yourself look cool and pretend it's true
It's not that serious
I thought it was pretty funny how Louis ck starts off a bit like “I was at the store, or was it the street? Oh it doesn’t matter I’m making it up anyway”
>A standup comedian... lied
>I listen to lies and... pretend it's comedy?....
Stand up comedians don't usually make up stories to make themselves look as cool as possible, not only is the machine a total lie, it is one of the most ridiculously blatant lies any stand up comedian has ever told, and not only does he still want people to actually buy this bullshit, it made his entire career and time and time again he shows how inept at actual comedy he is. There's a clear difference between The Machine and louie telling a story about fucking with a neighbor in his building by looking as gross as possible, or feltface's gumtree story.
>Stand up comedians don't usually make up stories to make themselves look as cool as possible
Ok and? Joey is a shit comedian just like Bert? He barely even has any real cred, Rogan pretty much made him just like Shwab and he sucks ass too.
He may be a shit comedian, but he does have cred independent of Rogan. He's been doing stand up for decades and had minor acting roles in the 90s and 00s.
>thinking joey is on the same level as the downy that made gringo papi
retard detected
>It's a blatant lie
>Goes viral, gets a movie, becomes Bert's entire schtick all because the humour comes from the fact that it's outrageous yet plausible
You're dumb. Part of the comedy is that it's convincing enough.
>yet plausible
Bottomline is it isn't funny you gay.
>B-B-BUT NORMIES AND HOLLYWOOD SAID-
You really think that argument is going to fly here of all places?
>because the humour comes from the fact that it's outrageous yet plausible
It's not funny because it's just one big selfish story of conquest and the fact that it isn't true at all makes it even worse.
Here found another good comedian you'd like.
these tards are actually funnier than Bert to be tbh
>Part of the comedy is that it's convincing
Hey Bert!
Chuds hate the idea of a confident guy having exciting world experiences. They can't even wrap their heads around somebody leaving their basement
They typically have at least a small grain of truth, like he at least went to Russia as a student or something, but it's just 100% made up bullshit. He might as well tell a story about going to the moon with his class and all the aliens thought he was the coolest because he drank the most, it would be just as believable and realistic
Worst part is, not only is it not a real story, but Bert didn't even come up with it. He bought it off someone in a bar or something for a few hundred.
I assume by default that every personal story a comedian tells is either made up or heavily exaggerated. But that doesn't bother me much so long as it's funny.
>he claims that his trip to Russia was part of an exchange program through FSU.
I've only ever heard it was a class trip for a russian language class.
At FSU, genius
yes, but a russian language class is not an exchange program.
>official FSU
what makes you think it was official?
FSU student here that saw him here at the civic center in 2021, he retold the story with all the class buildings/locations
FSU student that saw him at the civic center in 2023. He retold the story without mentioning any of the class buildings/location.
Alright so it's plausible that he went to FSU
Damn I’ve come around on the “comedians are liars” poster, this is sick. More thorough searching.
What does it matter if it's fake or not?
It wasn't an exchange program dumbass. Exchange program means you stay an entire semester. It was just a class trip with the Russian language class
Which Hollywood executive is cousins with this juden?
Someone post the video where Bert gets flustered and fails to make some random kid laugh, probably because the kid doesn't understand how a stupid frat guy story is supposed to be a joke.
Is that Skylar?
Protip to women actors: Don't play a bitch if you're over 30. Then you're just a bitch. You can play a bitch if you look like Sydney Sweeney, but not if you're playing a housewife.
Or I suppose just be prettier than the actress that played Skylar from BB.
It’s not skylar
I'm just shocked Tatro actually broke into hollywood
Does The Machine even count as a joke? It's just a fat frat guy telling a fake ass story where he jacks himself off about how cool he is, I heard so many bullshit stories like his when I was in college. Why did this one make normies scream and shit their pants with laughter?
The punchline is when the cop comes up at the end and says "So I hear you're The Machine..." meaning he's gained notoriety as a Russian Mobster in such a short amount of time. It's also sort of complex because the linguistic joke is that in Russian the word for machine and man sound similar, so what he was trying to say was "I'm The Man!" But instead said machine.
>meaning he's gained notoriety as a Russian Mobster in such a short amount of time.
Why is that funny? What reaction is this whole story supposed to get out of me? Woah man that's so cool, you're like such a badass.
It's like The Aristocrats, only It's just one guy telling it, and he's not in on it being purposely unfunny.
I never even heard this "joke"
I hadn't either until I saw this poster spammed here. Checked out the original bit and didn't crack a smile. This guy is an obnoxious, rat-faced charisma vacuum
I got it recommended on youtube a couple times but because it's a shirtless dude I refuse to click it
LOL how did I not know about this?
dude is basically the zoomer Larry the cable guy. It's crazy because most comedians I think are bad on stage are at least usually funny or interesting on podcasts but even then this guy is forgettable and unfunny.
I don’t think any zoomers are into Bert kreischer, his target audience and who he sells out to is alcoholic 40-50 year old white trash below the mason dixon line
I’ll have you know it was shown to me in hs by fellow alcoholics below the mason Dixon line
Did he give Tom "shitstain" Segura role?
Remember when he is so fat that he broke his arm dribbling a basketball
That was hilarious!
Him doing down like Peter Griffin made me laugh my ass off.
I saw some clip the other day where he tried denying to Segura that he had access to $50k. This idiot will never get my support.
Mark Hamill must be really cheap these days.
>Hey Mark, we saw your tweets, wanna be in our movie about how Russians are stupid and evil
He probably did it for free. Shit who knows, he could've paid for them to rework the script just to write him into the movie
>these days
He's never been a proper actor, that's why he spent all his time between star wars in the 80s and... star wars in the 2010s doing cartoons
This. Why are retards itt acting like Hamill is some highly sought after actor?
He probably just thought it’d be a fun role in a goofy movie.
Idk I like him better when he’s terminally on twitter cramming his liberal hollwood opinions down real Americans throats but what can I say? Im a sneed for the seethe
>based on an unbelievable story which is not credible for a reason
If he finally shows us his tiny dick, I will personally spend my life savings seeing it as many times as possible.
Bert can cover it with half of his palm, he had to be nude when they did one of their sober October challenges with Rogan(weighing themselves before and after) and he removes his underwear. It's burned into my retina unfortunately.
It's when Rogan showed off his monkey body as well.
Laughing crying at that fucking monke.
he really is the cocaine bear
I don't give a shit about the story being fake, I give a shit that it isn't funny at all to begin with. It's like the plot of a bad episode of a sitcom that everyone skips.
It unironically does sound like a shitty simpsons episode.
And another thing: forget the story being completely fake and pretty lame to begin with. We're now going to have to FURTHER embellish an already completely fake, unfunny story to get it to stretch into a 90 minute movie. 90% of this movie is literally going to be modernized Yakov Smirnoff jokes.
I am just happy Mark Hamill is getting work instead of doing Luke deepfakes.
If you're talking about the scene in Mandalorian, he didn't do that scene. He was on set, and they filmed him doing a take for reference, but the actual deepfake was done on a young actor with a facial shape that was close enough to young Hamill that it would make the process a lot more clean since you can actually use a lot of the performance there.
But yeah, no actual Hamill footage was used in that scene at all, because that's literally just not how deepfakes work. It'd look fucking horrible if they tried to make his face look like young Luke.
They could just cast an entirely different young actor, like they did for Han
it would
>look better
>be more respectful
>be more tasteful
>be less jarring
>sound better
>be less soulless, demonic, satanic, dystopian, scary and evil
>not distract you from the show
After solo shat the bed, they are terrified to recast classic characters. Even though that was the least of solo’s problems
>It'd look fucking horrible
horrible looking CGI has never stopped Hollywood.
Man how the fuck did this alcoholic fat fuck get so famous? I would rather be bombarded with Stav's shitty crowd work and sex jokes 24/7 than see this talentless hack's unfunny MASHEEN story one more time
who the hell is Stav?
bert is genuinely hilarious, and a good litmus test on whether youre a boring humorless cunt or not
Welcome back to the thread Bert!
>t.sophisticated bo burnham enjoying hipster
>bo burnham
Never heard a second of his material.
this is mccusker country, stay off the 'nog brother
>Man how the fuck did this alcoholic fat fuck get so famous?
Attached himself to Joe Rogan just as the podcast was taking off.
Stav is way gayer and way more annoying then bert. I’d hang out with bert, if stav asked to hang out with me, id roundhouse kick that bitch down a flight of steps
I think this flick can make an ez $150 milli in theaters. I'm gonna wait and pirate it though.
>I think this flick can make an ez $150 milli
How. No, really, how
It's been a long time since we've had a "fat man doing ridiculous things" movie hit the theaters and this will satisfy that itch. After Jonah Hill lost his mind he left a big hole in that market just waiting for somebody like this guy to come along.
Different kind of humour to jonah hill tho. There’s a pity to jonah, which is really what broke his mind. That we cannot stop viewing him as less than us. But bert is this larger than life liar frat guy persona.
This thing gonna get pulled in the first hour worldwide.
Probably, everyone who knows him has already heard the actual story and isn’t interested in his further revisions.
Also internet famous people highly overestimate their popularity, people are watching because it’s free not because they enjoy the content. A big internet audience doesn’t translate to a big purchasing audience
>heard the actual story
There is no actual story lmao. They didn't even have any kind of Russian class trip
I saw it, it was fine. Never seen the stand up bit or this guy's podcast. Ever since Pineapple Express every once in a while one of these comedies with occasional gunfights and gross out gore moments pops up, they're all meh but none of them have made me angry like you freaks
Best moments in this area def the couple of gory ones, plus both the broad from Wolf of Wall Street and the Russian girl are really hot
My Dad and 5 of his work friends already have tickets for tomorrow, they are going as a group after work. My dad is pretty excited, he isn't a huge Bert fan but he loves the machine story and his friends at work apparently say "I'm the machine" in a Russian accent whenever they fuck something up at work, so they all have some skin in it.
it appeals to the lowest common denominator of the population, like The Hangover and Fast And Furious. It will make money and society will continue its downward spiral.
Dude told one funny story. Milking it to death at this point. Yeah, straight to streaming.
It's in theaters already idiot
Advertised on UFC, along with:
Cocaine Bear
Renfield
It really is the kiss of death.
Cocaine Bear made money though
Renfield yes, died hard
Check refused
it's an interesting sample size - cocaine bear delivered on the premise, cocaine fueled bear rampaging
renfield on the other hand had no nic cage acting like crazy dracula, just some fag tier acting from hoult about how much he adores ugly asian pussy
on every other metric they're similar - lazy cinematography, overuse of gore, not that funny unless you're 90 IQ.
based on this sample alone it'll make money
>cocaine bear delivered on the premise, cocaine fueled bear rampaging
It delivered on it kinda but also underdelivered and focused on a bunch of people nobody gives a shit about more than the burr.
it had more cocaine bear than renfield had nic cage dracula
>renfield on the other hand had no nic cage acting like crazy dracula, just some fag tier acting from hoult about how much he adores ugly asian pussy
you haven't seen renfield
i wish this was true, i watched the whole thing hoping for nic cage kino
I forgot, that pos 65 was advertised too.
Is it a movie or a comedy special?
Movie that works as a sequel to his comedy bit. Concept is that Russian mobsters he stole from in the bit recognize him when it goes viral and kidnap him and his father
how does it compare to another rogan entourage classic?
at the very least maybe it’ll get a couple more videos from Speaking for Funny and Porsalin
He's an absolute savage. Just a straight killer.
I like jimmy tatro but I won't support a movie with the twitter psychopath Mark Hamill in it.
The Machine bros....
>30 seats in pic
>10 filled
that's not bad for a relative hollywood unknown is it? kreischer hasn't seemed desperate to promote this either, he's just treating it as another project
>Live Stream Event
Is that what they're calling movies now?
I only see movies in theaters if they include some of the following criteria (the more the better):
>Make fun of Leftists
>Make fun of trannies
>Make fun of anything "woke" or whatever
>Fails the "Bechdel Test"
Anyone know if this film is qualified to watch in the theatre?
the "Bechdel Test"
It does, the only time I remember 2 women talking was the mother and daughter complaining about the dad at the start and I don't think any women talk to each other after that point
>Make fun of anything "woke" or whatever
eh maybe but not really, the Russians keep making fun of The Machine having tits and calling him a girly man and I think he made a comment about "I guess wokeness hasn't come to Russia yet" but that could be taken either way. It's a very un-PC film though, but unfortunately not to the point of making fun of lefties or trannies.
Is it kino mid 2000s bro comedy vibes. And if it is then anons should stop shitting on this because as an Apabrow I NEED THIS
Sort of yeah, it's like John Wick does The Hangover, except he's not really John Wick and all the badass gangsters he meets are disappointed when they find out he's actually just a fat schlub with a massively over-inflated reputation who only survives because of luck, or the people around him doing all the work.
Sounds like it could be close enough.
>"I guess wokeness hasn't come to Russia yet"
It would've been so much better if this film was an early 2000s period piece, but I guess they're not competent enough to pull that off.
*late 90s
There's some of that, a lot of the actual story is told through flashbacks to the The Machine story happening, Jimmy Tatro is playing Young Bert and he got #3 billing
What about the Russian gangster spitting vodka in a liberal teachers face?
If that scene happens, then I'll go see the film.
Yeah that happened
this man has a deep, insecure sadness in his eyes
Mark Hamill?
>Hey Bert did you stay in touch with those guys who had such a good time with you?
Has anyone cooborated this story?
Russians?
Teachers?
Students?
There were no russian ~~*(mob*~~) that period of time. Even now every ~~*(mob*~~) here is etnical and there is no slav ~~*(mob*~~): only armenian, georgian, chechnyan, doggystahny etc.
If he actually was on a train he met low life train theifs.
If he actually met them they robbed him and kicked his fat lilly american ass.
So ether there was no story at all ot it didn't happen they he tells.
Example of a true story about 90s Яussia: Louis CK glue story.
t. Яoosky living in Яussia who grew up in the 90s.
PRÖÖÖHHH
>t. Яoosky living in Яussia who grew up in the 90s.
can you please leave ukraine? i have a real rouble i can give you if you do.
>can you please leave ukraine?
1. dilate
2. go back to r-ddit
don't you mean Я-ddit?
> ukraine
No such thing. Only bunch of terrorists with wuropean and american weapons on our land
this tbh
when people think of the "russian mob" in the US, they're literally thinking of Ukrainian garden gnomes living in Brighton Beach in Brooklyn, basically Nic Cage in Lord of War. South Brooklyn now has a ton of other ex-USSR ethnic enclaves but those ukrainians were the first to get there.
>based on the incredible story
At least he's admitting it's not a true story.
It all definitely happened
If this was a true story, you would've absolutely heard about it from any of the other dozen students who had all of their shit stolen in the middle of Moscow, and had to go buy clothes for the rest of their trip.
Or Bert would've done a comedy tour in Russia and invited those guys to be on stage or whatever.
Seems like it's a real story, that is very much embellished.
More pics here
https://imgur.com/a/mf15yLM#LZbPvgp
Obviously Bert has been orchestrating this entire bit since he was in college and took a private trip to Russia with friends and took a bunch of staged photos just in case he got called out about it in the future
There's not a single picture with him in it that has anything else that proves its in Russia.
that's a russian beer bottle in the pic dumbass.
There's not a single picture with him holding a beer that's not so blurry that you can't see what language is even on the beer buddy. Gonna guess that's on purpose
find me a beer bottle with a similar design language and i'll kneel
Or you could find me a picture of him and the class in front of a Russian land mark like he was on a class trip or something
forgot to link post, the beer bottle in that imgur pic is baltika
You can't even see any words on any of the bottles. They could be in fucking New York for all that picture shows
i accept your concession
>no Russian anywhere in any pictures he's in
>no pictures of him and the class at any Russian land mark
Still waiting
Fuck this washed-up fratboy gay and fuck his stupid self-mythologizing story.
>washed-up
Yeah the guy with a 30 show international comedy tour a movie about his bit coming out is "washed up" you dumb bro
Bet I still drink you under the table nerd
I don't know if it's more funny or sad that you think that means anything
Who is this and why should I care? I keep seeing this shit get shilled over and over and I’m not going to look up your stupid fucking movie
some fat comedian.
Appeared out of nowhere for me and a lot of other people about a year or less ago.
I drink from a 2L jug and two people said it reminded them of some podcast bit with this guy, and then i started seeing him everywhere, a bunch of shit added to netflix all at once, etc.
I hope he has a heart attack soon
His fake laugh is awful
This dude only has one real good joke but it's such a good fucking joke I don't mind they turned it into a movie. I'll probably watch it
already flopped