>Riding the escalator at the mall.
>Leaning over to look at the Christmas decorations.
>Turn back and there is a dude in the same step as me, leaning over my shoulder.
>He says “hey”, I say it back.
>”You’re not a homosexual, are you?” He asks. I say “no.”
>”Good. Fuck those guys, am I right? Where are you going?”
>Say “nowhere” and move off once we reach the floor.
>He starts following me.
>”You’re going somewhere, nobody comes here for no reason. Where are you going?”
>”Nowhere, man, I’m just hanging out.”
>Yells “DON’T LIE TO ME” and grabs my arm.
>”Ok, I’m going to work” and enter the first store I see – a clothing store.
>”Are you sure you’re not homosexual?”
>Ignore him, go in, kill some time in the back of the store.
>Peek over at the front, he’s still there, waiting for me.
>Talk to an actual employee, he let’s me sneak out in the back and call security.
>The dude senses something is wrong and vanishes.
>Decide to leave, but as I reach the door a voice fills the air.
>”COME BACK HERE, homosexual”
>It’s the dude, sprinting towards me while holding a metal trash bin.
>Bolt out of there straight into a bus.
>The dude chases after the bus, but can’t keep up, so he throws the metal can at it.
>Last thing I see before the bus turns the corner is mall security tackling the guy.
From what I’ve later heard, he was high on drugs and got arrested for causing a disturbance.
>Tl;Dr I'm a homosexual and everyone knows it
my fucking sides
Fucking annihilated
He was gay trying to find another gay
Cool
that's not what he meant by "homosexual"
>Be me
>High with friends
>Hey anon stick this pringles can in your pants to sneak in
>Literally taking 30 minutes to fit this pringles can into my pant leg high as shit between the entrance door and the lobby of the theater
>Finally get it in my pant leg
>One of the front desk guys comes up to me
>"Hey man we've been watching you struggling with that pringles can for like 20 minutes dying laughing just toss it or we'll have to throw it away"
>..... ok
>Leave it
>Everyone laughing and looking at me
>Forgot what fucking movie I was even there to go see
Couldn't even have my sour cream and onion pringles
...why wouldn't you smuggle it in a jacket or sweatshirt, ya doofus.
wtf kinda pussy are you, what is the theater gonna do, forcibly throw you out? just keep walking in dude
shit's sussy af fr
I once saw someone get ragdolled over a car roof while they where mid conversation with someone else who was completely unharmed and just stood there for a few seconds bemused.
I saw a woman get out of her car and hit by a truck that was driving too close. It happened just outside my house while I was playing with my 2 year old son. Luckily he had his back to it and didn't get fucked up from the carnage
Did his shoes fly off?
>walk through city at night drunk
>biker drives menacingly up to me
>reach out hand and say "stop" stoicly
>guy drifts hard and falls off on his face
>keep walking
I got the force that night
Was he a big guy?
For you.
>be bong taking cross country train in america
>like 30 hours long journey
>sitting on aisle seat next to random asian kid
>reading a book or something to pass the time with headphones in listing to music
>guy approaches and starts talking across me to the asian kid
>take out headphones to see what's going on
>guy says he has some videos asks if the asian guy, or I, would be interested in coming down to the train's basement area (luggage hold maybe?) and watching "gay sex videos" with him
>says it completely earnestly as if it's a normal question
>we both blank and slowly say no thanks
>guy smiles and says not a problem and walks off to try and find someone else to watch the videos with
should have gone, that is the codeword to join the ayylmao ilurminarti brigade.
had you gone downstairs to the baggage carriage, you would have gone through a portal to their HQ
>cross country train in america
This is how I know you’re lying. Is that really the best story you could come up with?
>he doesn't know the best spot to hit on amish girls for three days
https://www.amtrak.com/california-zephyr-train
anon do you not know what amtrak is
This triggered some unpleasant memories.
>be me, truckeranon.
>Near end of my shift, hoping rest area isnt full so I can find a place to park for the night.
>pull in, shit, its fucking full
>being a trucker you have to get creative as fuck sometimes when it comes to parking spots.
>sometimes you outright break the law and park right next to "No Parking" signs and hope cops in that town are cool and wont wake you up at the asscrack of dawn demanding you move and/or give you a ticket
>anyway i find a spot in the rest area with yellow paint over it, clearly not meant for parking and hope for the best.
>as im sitting at wheel browsing my phone some dude walks past the front of my truck. I instantly lock eyes with him, fearing hes a worker there and hes about to come tell me I have to move. He doesnt, instead he continues on.
>Go lay down in my bunk. 10 mins later get a knock at the door.
>its him. "You thought I was a woman or something? Is that why you were looking so hard."
>"Oh, nah. I thought you were about to tell me I had to move my truck."
>"Oh, cuz I thought you thought I was a woman or something."
>Me thinking: wtf. What does that even mean. "No, I thought I had to move my truck."
>"Oh, ok." Leaves, I go back to my bunk. 5 mins later another knock on my door. You have got to be shitting me.
>Yep. Weird fucker is back. "I got a woman over there if you're looking for one." Fucker points to a dark corner of the rest area.
>NOPENOPENOPENOPE.
>"Nah, Hell nah man i'm not into that shit. Im just trying to do my reset."
>"Oh, ok." Leaves, doesn't come back again.
>I be sure and sleep with my utility knife nearby, just in case.
Truckstop weirdo methhead homosexuals, not even once.
>read utility
>expected belt
>disappinted
Did you think I was going to fight him like Batman or something? Kek.
yes. smoke bombs, backflip off the roof, shurikens.
if you don't have a cool tactical utility belt custom made then you haven't learned from the experience.
it will become your origin story
Homo-chad
consent is important and he understands that
That's just typical homosexual shit, anon. Trust me when I say he gets fags to go with him all the time, and they're excited to do it. This is why they get so many STDs and people like Dahmer kill them easily.
mi-scuzi
>...So you DON'T like movies about Gladiators?
There was actually a guy like that at my work one time. He was high in bath salts I think and pulled a knife on the waitress to rape her so they called the cops on him.
>guy pulls knife out
>well I guess it’s time to call the police
What a story.
Was this supposed to be horror or comedy.
Which one is life, anon?
>walking around Bruges on holiday
>turn around a corner
>suddenly like a hard cut from shiny tourist territory into slumland
>nothing but tower blocks and dingy houses
>no-one else in the street apart from a single hooker in trampy clothing by a lamppost
>it's only 4 in the afternoon
also when I was a kid someone approached me asking if I was the star of pic related (I looked nothing like him)
>also when I was a kid someone approached me asking if I was the star of pic related (I looked nothing like him)
He was probably trying to molest you.
I was with my parents at the time so little chance of that, though fuck knows why of all the films to recognise someone from he went for an obscure direct-to-VHS B-movie
A little kid in the grocery store thought I was harry potter when I was like 14
Did you call the kid a mudblood nagger, because that would have been funny.
a group of teenagers waiting for autographs thought I was Jaime lannister for a few seconds as I was approaching. I heard them talking excitedly to each other, "is it him?".
it was the evening, and I had similar hair to him, similar height
I’m like 80% sure I talked to Eddie from stranger things in a hotel elevator last year
I'm him and that was me, nie chatting with you.
>be me
>walking home late at night, drunk as fuck
>10 somalis gather around me trying to rob me
>think to myself: "I'm just so fucking tired of you fucking naggers".
>unironically beat the fuck out of them all
>went home
As a Minnesotan I pray for your health and happiness.
>Friend and I are living together
>Broke as fuck in a dogshit apartment at the edge of the city
>I'm the only one with a car
>Friend needs to borrow it
>Dude is kind of a fuck up
>Walk him out to our covered spot while explaining all the little things wrong with it so he'll be more careful
>"Yeah, yeah I got it, I'll be careful"
>I watch him leave from the curb
>He swings wide while backing up and scrapes the shit out of my front bumper on a support beam
>Looks at me
>Looks forward
>Drives off
He's homeless now so I guess I got my revenge in the long run.
Some guy split rent with me and two other roomies for thousands of dollars upfront. Squabbled about common area music and tv volume. We called him out for being nuts, he smashed mostly apartment property, calls police on us, he disappears, process servers trying to give him summons for court. Other roomie moved out a few weeks ago. We think crazy guy might be in jail somewhere while his rent and utilities are covering us. We are in a Utopia of comfort now. Best looking apartment in the whole complex. Only had to deal with his crazy ass for a month or two, only fear now it he could come back at any time since he's still paying rent and America is turbo-lenient on criminals now.
nagger you are the criminal what the fuck
Bro, this is going to come back to haunt you massively. Better start saving money to pay back monhs of rent.
>watching as two rockets fly and hit the tv-tower
Yup, it's loud
Syria, Ukraine, or…?
Makes you wonder huh, how he knew.
>step out of the house to smoke
>a big orange cat come over the fence and just walks right into my yard and starts yelling at me to feed him
>"wrong house, man" I tell the cat
>cat yells again
What is the point of that edit.
Because it fits?
Have you ever seen the matrix? Neo just did some mad shit and the other agents are looking at each other as if to say “what the fuck”
>chilling by the pool with my step sister
>wearing a Speedo because I’m trying to show off my gains
>she’s got a big ass and wearing a string bikini
>can’t stop looking, clearly bulging my Speedo, it’s super embarrassing but I try and play it cool as she lays face down tanning and talking to me about some female celebrity bullshit
>she stops and looks at me suddenly and says “anon I’ve been watching you stare at my ass for the last hour and you look like you’re gonna pop” and she flicks my dick with her finger
>I cum in my speedo and it leaks out
>go inside to change while she laughs and says “omg i was just fucking with you I didn’t think you actually would”
Feels like a weird dream or something
Bruh lmfaooo
why didn't you demand recompense
say "now I'll flick your clit til you pop, ese"
Someone's been watching "Southland", fool.
Can't believe i'm going to jerk it to a greentext.
jfc bro, just find some porn
>Feels like a weird dream or something
maybe because it was you larping fag
Imagine being such a homosexual OP that mall schizos chase you for it
Did you try not being a homosexual?
The fact he grabbed you and you did nothing proves you're a limp wristed homosexual
>Engaging schizos who might have stab or infect you
Not being a homosexual doesn't mean not being smart.
Easy on the triple negatives broslice
I visited the capital of Belgium once
Accidentally fucked a 17 year old as a 20 year old and now I laugh pretty hard every time I see SHE WAS 17 YEARS 364 DAYS 23 HOURS 59 SECONDS OLD YOU SICK FUCK shitposts
>american brain damage
16 is the normal age in 95% of the world, you really have to understand that, you sick fuck
>It's a Foreigner who thinks their ways are esoteric and unknown within the American Empire episode
>it's an american who thinks they are 80% of the world population while not knowing they are 5% and 95% of people in the world are not them
A little uptight from not getting teenage pussy huh?
>thinks 17 is 'young and fresh'
derp
weird creep
someone post the graph
>a eurofag that doesnt realize that 95% of the worlds population doesnt matter when you have an aircraft carrier in all sevenjp4r2y seas 24/7/365
>mutt doesn't know russia can nuclear torpedo your entire shitty out of date fleet in one shot
>American Empire
>Doesn't know his country is literally an Israeli satellite state
Intentionally fucked a 17 year old as a 20 year old, gotta say women are like oysters, the younger they are the tighter and better they taste. Like older women taste bad bro
When i was 21 this one 17yo chubby viking looking girl had a crush on some other dude but was part of my friend group and she asked if she could practice on me as she had never even seen a dick before. I hadnt been laid in 3 years at that point so i said yes. She came over and said she was gonna blow me but she only jerked me off. It was so insanely hot and good and she kept asking things like "does that feel good? Am i doing it right Anon? I hope you feel good from this" and i came SO hard that it literally shot out of me and hit the ceiling i swear to god. She was like "oh my god do guys always cum like that that was so much! Dont worry next time ill suck your dick i didnt mean to make you cum!" Just thinking about it is making me diamonds
>Dont worry next time ill suck your
Was there a next time?
Yeah like 4 years later saw her with her sister at a bar and they brought me into the girls bathroom to do cocaine with them. Ended up back at my house and not only did she keep her promise but i got to fuck the vageen as well and it made such a satisfying clap on her gigantic ass cheeks as i speed fucked her, god it was nice. Her sister literally sat outside in the car the whole time and then did more cocaine with me when i finished up lmao great night
>in DC
>me and two friends zipping around on bird scooters
>mine takes a shit
>anon look it says there’s one like 8 blocks that way
>it’s in the ghetto
imagine urban fanghoorn forest
>friends refuse to accompany me into the ghetto
>tracking scooter on map like im hunting the xenomorph
>see scooter inside fence in someone’s yard
>reach over fence to grab scooter
>hear voices a block away
>hear police sirens approaching
>sprint back to non-ghetto
>no one else knows what 'bird scooters' are outside of your city
read it as you were riding birds around and yours took a shit. sounded like you lived in a disney film
So you were already riding on scooters and you were using a scooter tracking device to find more scooters?
>>COME BACK HERE homosexual
kek got me good, how did he find out?
>get out of hospital late at night, have to ask for directions from staff several times, as the facility was undergoing construction - lots of long, dimly lit hallways
>start walking towards the road, see a couple of security guards with walkies to the left and a few high-vis wearing construction workers directly in front of me, with no way to avoid them
>an older surly construction guy starts approaching me aggressively, the other guys look like they're about to follow
>clearly looks like he wants to beat some ass
>put my right hand up palm-out in a gesture to mean both "hi" and "stop", and say "Howdy, sir." in a friendly but curt tone (I'm a Midwesterner and I was in the Northeast, this makes people think you're stupid and harmless)
>pivot 45 degrees to the right and walk towards the street without stopping.
>guy just stops in his tracks and says nothing
>overhear one of the security guards tell the other: "Man's a defense weapon."
nice
>step into a restaurant to pick up my tacos
>an Indian asks me if I want my palm read, if I want blessings for good income, and asks for a donation
>"no"
>he says some hindu shit and casts a spell and walks out
>manager says "sorry friend. FUCK THAT GUY EH"
in these cases, you should shout your own curse at him, say "I bind thee to the demons that crawl in blood may your entrails sour and your eyes fall out".
since they are superstitious freaks, it will dwell on his microcephalic mind far more and you win by default.
saying that, something similar happened to me.
>was in a distant country, walking along in the middle of the day
>guy with a stall outside his shitty snake oil shop stops me and say my leg looks injured
>tries to sell me a bottle of his almost literal snake oil, he had dead lizards floating in the water tank on the table
>I say its fine and that I don't want his potion
>grabs imy leg near the knee and 'massages' it roughly
>I walk off and guess he might have been trying to make my leg feel bad or put a psychological trick on me so purposefully block out any ideas of that for the rest of the afternoon
pretty sure he must do it with locals so they develop mystery pains and go back to his shitty shop.
>FUCK THAT GUY EH
my fucking sides
>be me
>walking around town with my gf
>a smiling buddhist monk walks up to me
>he hands me beads and a notebook
>points at the notebook
>puts his hands together and keeps bowing
>I guess he took a vow of silence?
>the notebook says "What I wish for" and a little space to write something
>next to it says "donation"
>politely say "no thanks" and hand him back the notebook
>he stops smiling, makes an asspained expression and snatches it and the beads out of my hands then stomps off
Had that exact same thing happen in New York, down to the exact mannerisms of being stoic and then upset and snatching the beads back. Only thing is, I knew about the scam already and wasn't surprised.
makes me miss
>BIG MAN BIG MAN YOU LIKE HIP HOP? YOU LIKE HIP HOP HERE CHECK THIS OUT...YEAH THAT'S $20.
Kek. I guess it's common, how did you know about it?
Because it's common.
That’s a common scam in nyc
The buddhists in my country act like they are giving you a book for free, but if you take it in your hands they claim you bought it and start following and harassing you for dozens of minutes to go to an ATM and pay for it, even if you give it back
Tbh if I come across one of those cunts trying to scam me I'll take the book and lob it into a puddle or something
I just can't imagine choosing to do this and trick and fight with people all day every day instead of just getting a job. It's mind boggling.
You wouldn't happen to live in the shithole that is LA would you? If so, I think I know who you're talking about.
L...Lads?
He deleted it! He deleted it! Tell me someone capped it.
do with it what you will
What the fuck is with psychopaths and Washington? It's a beautiful state, why are all the fucking nutbags from there?
they're everywhere, it's just easier for them to kill people in remote areas, which Washington mostly is. Plus white people are bigger psychos and washington is really white. Brown people are more utilitarian in how big of pieces of shit they are. They'll kill you for 20 dollars, but not for free.
naggers kill far more people for sport than white psychopaths do. Its just theyre far too fucking stupid to get away with it for more than 24 hours so they dont get the chance to do it more than once or twice before losing their freedom privileges.
there's almost always a reason. For these white naggers there just isn't. It's brain damage. You're right that they're smart enough to get away with it longer though. Incidentally really racist whites who think whites are better than browns are usually brain damaged like that.
>there's almost always a reason.
I hope you’re not being genuine here because the amount of nagger murders that are committed over nothing or an escalation from a petty crime are overwhelming. More than half the time when they’re interviewed they can’t even explain why. People’s lives snatched over absolutely nothing.
Delusional
Every single day hundreds of naggers in USA kill whites just for laughs
Vast majority of serial killer are black despite then being only 12% of US population
Well if real the old guy probably didn’t even notice it, just died in good spirits in the fullness of nature in the blink of an eye. Eerie to think about but somehow feels preferable to expiring in a hospital room hooked up on 30 different drugs or something
Wait, I also had this thread open on my phone. I can cap it myself. Anon, its time to come clean. That guys family needs closure.
Uhhh in Minecraft rig right guys?
He didn't delete it. Mods removed it. Lol hope that dude is prepared for a knock from the feds. They're definitely coming after him, joking or not.
Whelp, better save this whole thread then, could become a legendary cap in a couple weeks.
Mods are trying to cover it up
>lime green text on periwinkle blue background
what fucking dev retard decided this
They changed the color on Christmas for some reason and it was 2x worse
Not sure if deleting it was to make it seem more real or if it was driven by a sudden feeling of fear but it sure worked to make me believe it
Fucking newfags can’t into archive
Don't worry. I submitted anon's post (
) as a tip to the investigator's of his case.
>AYO DIS NIGGA EATIN SARDINES
>it's real
Holy fuck. Actual murderers browse this board.
>redditfrog
>animenagger
Pepe is supreme here
First time seeing a murderer here eh?
ever met someone who's killed someone?
they're not unusual
No but I was one of the first posters in that /b/ thread where the guy strangled that single mother and uploaded a picture of her corpse. Also posted in that /LULZ/ mass shooter "don't go to x tomorrow" thread. Good times.
I remember those, don't know which I've posted in. I posted in some on infinity at its peak.
I've met people who've killed others, but just in the military.
Based. Well if we're talking about the military then yeah. My grandpa killed asiatics and he was normal. But that's very different from a murderer or psychopath who just kills innocents for a thrill.
I mostly stick to Cinemaphile and Cinemaphile. Though I was there when the discord trannies on /LULZ/ blackmailed that kid and he streamed himself blowing his head off
Well yeah, people have literally posted images from their freshly committed murders here though that happens everywhere online. Facebook would have. more murders shown in a month then Cinemaphile’s whole history.
>be me
>Meeting up with a couple of friends for a night of drinking and partying
>One guy picking us all up because he's the only one with a licence and a car.
>Get to the last guy's house and realize there's not enough space for everyone
>Fuck it. He gets in the trunk
>Pick up the alcohol (only one of us is of legal age)
>Have to swing by a house because driver forgot his weed stash
>Two seconds after he enters his house an ambulance pulls into the driveway of the house across the street
>Another ambulance shows up
>Police cars
>Ambulance people pull some guy out in the stretcher. Women comes out screaming in crying.
>Cops all over the lawn. Neighbours are coming out of their house
>While all of this is happening we are sitting in a car full of alcohol and one guy in the trunk
>Fuck...
>Spend what feels like an hour sitting completely still and waiting for the driver to come back.
I was/am a nerd/weeb but during family caravan trips with family I would end up in some kind of Outsiders cosplay with my very not nerdy cousin smoking, playing pool, hanging around, getting drunk/high and getting into fights with local gypsies
I distinctly remember being in a standoff near the edge of a cliff with some guys where my cousin was staring an inch away from their leader and was next to a guy with a glass bottle and I put my hand on an assisted open knife I had in my pocket when I suddenly had a "my feet hurt" moment wishing I was at home watching LOGH and was pretty shaken when they eventually chickened out and left.
It funny how coming back to a hometown you turn into some sort of fictional god. People remember me, what the fuck I was only there for 9 years and Im a known entity. Ive lived way longer in other places but without the confidence I somehow have in my hometown. Its like coming back to a tutorial level after being afraid of a level 5 thing. Im just zinging people left and right, strutting around like Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack. Its fucking weird.
I'm pretty sure my dad and I stumbled across a murder taking place
>be 13
>dad and I go fishing one or two Saturdays a month
>we leave home at midnight, plan is to get there about 3 AM then fish until noon or so
>our fishing spot was a lake in the mountains in the middle of nowhere
>it's around 3 AM and we're driving through the woods towards the lake
>see a car pulled over ahead of us with its blinkers on and both doors halfway open
>dad pulls over to see if they need any car help (he is a mechanic)
>we come to a stop about 10 feet behind the parked car, our car's headlights flood the interior but we can't see anybody inside of it
>we get out, turn on our flashlights and walk towards it
>both of the front passenger windows are shattered, there is broken glass all over the ground
>both of the seats have big tears in them
>blood on both front seats
>blood trail leading from the passenger seat into the woods and it seemed fresh (saw a drop of it drip from the bottom of the door onto the ground)
>dad says in the most serious tone I have ever heard from him "get back in the fucking car, right now"
>we get back in the car
>we both hear a loud, high pitched scream off in the woods right before we slam the doors shut
>drive back home, no fishing that weekend
>this was the 90s, before we had cell phones
>dad never told the police (doesn't like cops) and made me promise not to tell mom because she would freak out
>never saw anything about it on the news
Was it a female or male scream?
I couldn't tell for sure. It was high pitched so I'd guess female, but a lot of men have high pitched screams too.
Well if it's real, that's a scary fucking story anon. But I dunno, fishing in the woods at 3 in the morning is asking for trouble, especially bringing your 13 year old son with you.
>>we come to a stop about 10 feet behind the parked car, our car's headlights flood the interior but we can't see anybody inside of it
>>we get out, turn on our flashlights and walk towards it
how fucking dumb can you be?
It was a simpler time, people weren't watching true crime murder porn nonstop and weren't terrified of strangers.
It's not uncommon. Some nights we'd be the only ones out there but most nights we'd see a couple other fishermen. Certain fish are easier to catch at night, plus you won't have people on boats or other toys scaring them off. It's also max comfy to just sit in the dark under the moon and the stars in the crisp mountain air, bullshitting around with your dad and listening to nature sounds while waiting for a fish to bite. Dad also always brought a gun in case he had to scare off a wild animal but that was never necessary.
They were already fucked by the time we got there. It was the only road to or from that lake so a park ranger would have seen it eventually. Every few hours they do a patrol up and down that road. Also like I said this was pre-cell phone days. It would have been a long drive to get to the nearest police station and then hours of questioning.
your dad was a shit person for not saying anything
Sounds like he was protecting his kid.
Bear attack
that’s bullshit. a bear can’t do that
i once did the whole "you cant fire me i quit" thing
>have problem with dude at work
>goes on for days but since the dude has been there for years getting rid of me is cheaper for the company
>one day go into office and have a long talk with general manager
>starts calm but it eventually escalates into both of us yelling like rabid dogs
>"you know what anon? you're fired! you can come tomorrow to sign the paper"
>"yeah well you know what? ill save you the trouble, i quit!"
>"you cant quit you dumbass i fired you first"
>"i don't give a shit i already quit"
>"fuck you anon"
>"no fuck you"
and then i left
not as smooth as in the movies
for me, the opposite
>try to quit
>"you can't quit, you're fired" is yelled out as loud as possible
>walk out, get a couple of coworkers who will support hearing the boss say that
>get three months of severance pay because boss was a childish retard
you should have just told him the truth, OP.
the first day or two of my relapses always feel cinematic.
>Mom’s driving me and my brother home in a shitty rental after our flight got cancelled and we decided fuck it, not waiting any more
>Passing through really rural areas, lots of winding roads and dense forested areas
>Saw a few deer. Sun sets and we’re driving in total silence
>Out of nowhere, a huge buck leaps out of the brush about twenty feet up the road. Mom slams the breaks. Dumb deer just stares at us with those big flashing eyes
>Deer jumps away off the road.
>We’re all laughing from adrenaline / panic. Just as she eases off the breaks a tall guy in a white coat with a fucking sword lurches out of the woods after the deer
>Sword was like five feet long and shined in the headlights. He was dragging it like it weighed a hundred pounds
>Head was tilted at us the entire time while he walked across the road and back into the woods. His eyes were gleaming green just like the deer’s
>Vanished
I wished we had waited for the next flight. You NC hicks are insane
NC is based. 25% of it is normal city, mild southern charm, little bit of hippy up in Asheville, some tech hubs, banking.
75% is creepy rural farmland and little abandoned Scooby doo ghost towns that you suspect house mole people.
Now for the last
Let yourself feel the stag, his blood coursing. You feel it? This is the quickening
One of the local derros asked me if I wanted to "swap shoes" with her. Didn't realise until after it was hooker talk. She was a short, shaved head pot bellied abbo
In a community right? I flatly refuse to believe that abos make any money from being a hooker anywhere with hookers of any other ethnicity
>went thru an Arby's drive through on vacation in Miami
>wearing green bracelet
>cute Latina hands me my food and compliments me on my bracelet
>tell her green is my second favorite color
>"what's your favorite color, anon?" She says smiling
>I tell her light brown
>cut scene to us fucking in her maxima on her break
we agreed to meet back at a specific time
>cute latina working at Arby's in Miami
fake and gay
t. Miamifag
I can't stand thinking of Gia everyday. I should have never claimed the "spicy latinas" if I was only going to tell them off. I HAVE to pay you money or something but PLEASE get out of my fucking head.
I'll pay Mr Doherty ANYTHING just please FUCKING STOP.
Was in NYC eating a greasy fucking cheeseburger and saw one of those super orthodox israelites with the funny hat and the stringy beard sitting down next to a 200 lb black guy, all muscle. Caught this golden exchange that has been ringing in my ears since 2014
>Oy vey.
>You said it mah nigga.
Audibly laughed, such a surreal NPC encounter
LOL I went to college in California and had a similar experience. At the time I was a stick thin aryan boy in glasses and I was leaving the dorms to go eat before a party with a half-black dude and a black-black dude. The half-black guy threw his arm around me and went "Anon, you my nigga. You can say nigga. I give you a pass." I looked over and saw the black-black guy rolling his eyes.
He was thinking “fucking lightskins” to himself
That’s like the sort of shit you overhear from pedestrians back when GTA was good
>homeless man / thug with a knife is threatening a shopkeep
>“Hey man I got a knife I’ll stick you”
>“Ive got a bat you little cocksucker its got reach you fucking sucker dont try it Ill whack you upside the head”
>Knife guy runs and gets smacked in the face. Baseball bat guy keeps hitting him until he runs away
>reach > little knife
Now you know what women experience on a daily basis
And i still don’t care to hear them complain.
Women are stalked constantly by insane lesbians?
Is there film of this that I could watch?
I remember being at an elementary school in south carolina and we had a playground by the woods
>giant cow got loose from the nearby pasture
>sticks its head through the trees and stares at us
>I was standing next to the teachers when it happened. One of the ladies looks up and says: Holy COW! Other teachers laughed
Still remember that quip so vividly. Its been like 20 years and I still love it
>walking to buddies house
>see man being suspicious, kneeling by car almost a block away
>looks like he attached something to it
>the guy gets up and bones out right past me, running like a bat outta hell
>car explodes to pieces
>i hit the floor and my ears are ringing, i look back at the dude still running off into the distance
>fuck this
>run straight into my bud's house for laughes and storytime
>cops and neighbors out there for hours inspecting the damage
>never report the crime/bomber
Girlfriend and her friend want to go to pool. It’s the public complex pool for our apartments but whatever. We’re all swimming “let’s play truth or dare”. Ok I dare you two to switch bottoms underwater. Few teenage boys over hear us. See them all struggling to stay underwater. Next turn I dare them to go into the shower get naked and make out. We all head to the shower and they get naked and make out while I watch like a deer in headlights. They get done making out and we head back to the apartment. I wish I could make a time machine to go back and tell myself to get naked and join them but I was just so shocked I couldn’t even react. Missed my once chance at a 3some.
>Be a kid, sleeping in bed at night
>Dream that I heard my best friend say “Hey Anon” right in my ear
>Wake up. Immediately run to my parents room and ask them if my friend is here.
>Dad explains I dreamed it.
Apparently this happens to lots of people all the time. Like you’re just so used to hearing your mom say “hey anon” or a friend going “hey man” that you can hear it instinctively.
>Trying to fit in with a lame ass inconsequential story
Is this the elusive female poster ?
Shut up homosexual.
>Father died after living with Alzheimers for five years
>Went to visit mom 2 weeks ago. Looked me right in the eye and called me Zack.
>Zack is my brother
I cant do it again.
sorry to hear that anon
stay strong
I'm sorry.
I understand.
Made out with a proto-art hoe while we were launching fireworks in an empty neighborhood baseball diamond.
>Leaving Capitol Hill, Seattle, late after meeting a girl
>New to area, fucking with GPS
>Drunk kid stumbles into my car, clicks in seatbelt
>Gash across bridge of his nose, blood on his face and shirt, can't really form words, mumbles something like "KE-MORE BOTTLE!"
>Feel for the guy, scrawny kid 5ish years younger than me, having a rough one, been a piece of shit myself previously figure what the hell I'll get him home
>All I can gather is he's from Kenmore based on a bank business card he pulls out of his wallet, appears to have lost his ID
>Punch in bank on GPS, figure the drive might give him a moment to pull himself together to figure out where to take the little guy
>He passes out on the 20 min drive while I try to figure out better where he lives
>In the bank parking lot, tell him he's gotta get out or give me an address, still completely incoherent, trying to sleep in my car
>Get out drag him onto the asphalt while he struggles weakly, gets up, tries a wild punch, falls on his face
>Chuckle, go to drivers seat, hear REEE!
>Starts trying to choke me through open door
>Kick him in stomach, air goes out of him, he's straight back on his head like a plank of wood, seriously wonder if he's dead
>He crawls to the curb of the bank, sits with head in hands
>Left his phone in my car, try to unlock it
>Toss it to him, tell him you're welcome for the ride to Kenmore asshole
Least I got him out of that shithole city
Hey homosexual, heres an idea, go back to california and learn to mind your own fucking business
your city is dead, I only went there to ski with a rich tech friend from the east coast, who has since left as well
also you're the homosexuals jumping into strangers cars cause you seattle freeze fucks can't make human connections and real friends
seattle sucks; I've lived here all my life and I resent every time I have to go into the city proper
at least the weather's good
>>Be me on Cruise
haha gay
If this happened to me, I might end up kidnapping him, just for fun. Don't hurt him, or anything, but just scare the fuck outta him. Drive for like an hour without saying a word, and then park on a dark road. Just really terrify him. And then when it all seems over I'd just let him run away. He'd be too drunk to remember me, and I didn't actually break the law.
Was he cute? You should have molested him!
First encounter with a hobo? If you live in a big city you see shit like that all the time
When I was a kid a hobo made a sexual comment to me while me and my dad were walking in downtown Chicago.
reminds me of when was a teenager dressing as some kind of faggy goth with long hair and some drunk old guy splayed out on the ground with a mostly empty bottle of white lightning called me cute
nah he wasn't homeless, too clean, also phone was too new and had debit card
pretty sure he was shitfaced and maybe got roofied
>Be me on Cruise
>Group of 8 blind people with sticks coming down the main hallway in heard formation
>Everyone moves to the sides of the hallway to let them get through easier
>One says to the others "Wow sure is less crowded today"
Similar energy
BRRAAAAAAPPPP
I don't get it
I like it.
here's a story for you
>on a cruise
>stop in one place for the day, paid for a tour
>tour lasted hours, needed a shit
>one cafe with a toilet room outside it, already a queue of a few people
>first one takes 10 minutes, just focusing on holding the shit in during it
>next one is an oldish woman, she spends 20 minutes inside, hear all kinds of clattering for the last five minutes of it, wonder what the fuck she's doing
>she eventually emerges, wheeling out her big old woman shopping bag on wheels
>go in, find the toilet has no seat, squat and shit
>find there's no paper, check inside the cupboard, no paper either
>toilet barely flushes, top of cistern missing, no real handle have to do it semi-manually
>wash shirt off butt in sink
>no soap, nothing to dry hands with
>various other things missing from bathroom
went out wondering if the old woman had dismantled and stolen half the bathroom, or if she'd just gone through the same thing as me.
KEK grandma took half the bathroom home
>hanging out with at the time friends
>usual high schooler shit, out late smoking and fucking around
>decide to go to the beach
>we notice a trailer truck all the way on the other side of the parking lot, think nothing of it
>mess around for a bit then decide to head back to the car
>notice a flashlight, fuck its the cops
>can't go back because retard of a friend brought all his weed and his gun with him
>hide out for a bit, try and wait out the cop
>he leaves, but then we notice he's parked at the exit
>friend who drives decides he'll go and try and talk to the cop to get him to leave
>he does this, but then instead of leaving the cop comes back into the lot
>panic, friend tosses his gun and we hide in the bushes
>cop looks for a bit, then gets back in his car and leaves
>we ride home in silence
>later that day, other friend comes by to pick up something
as he comes out we both notice a cat that just got hit by a car
>says he doesn't know what happened and leaves
>call animal control, go back and grab some water for the cat
>get back outside and the cat and the pool of blood is gone
and the icing on the cake?
months cops found a weapon that was used in a murder robbery at the same beach
I'll never forget that day
Wait, what? Your friend hit a cat with his car and then hid the body? Was the murder weapon related to the trailer at the beach? I'm so confused what happened here.
>Your friend hit a cat with his car and then hid the body?
no, he came in from the other side of the road, the cat was crawling from the opposite street
> Was the murder weapon related to the trailer at the beach?
no, I forgot to put that we saw the trucker and the cop talking
the gun they found I'm 99% sure was his, as I haven't seen him around since
Youre an awful storyteller
yeah I know
it doesn't help that I was also high at the time so some things that happened are a bit fuzzy
but that day just had so much random shit happen at once it stuck with me
>In Vegas
>Walking aimlessly down the strip looking at what everyone else gets out of it
>See a guy sitting on the foot high wall facing the gaudy casino facades with his pant around his shins
>Dirty looking guy standing in front of him
>Crumples to the ground lays on his stomach looking for something in between the street sitters legs
>Turns over, now facing up, inches himself
forward.
>The smell of a used diaper overpowers the rank weed in the air
This happened four days ago
>Working retail
>There's a homely looking girl my age working there too
>One day she bursts out crying and rushes into the break room
>I go in and ask what's wrong, turns out her Grandma died
>I can't think of anything to say
>She's just sat there head in her lap sobbing her eyes out
>"So uhh, when's the funeral?"
>in a bar
>Magic Manic Pixie Dream girl asks if I like movies
>"Come meet me outside Theater X tomorrow night and we'll see The Midnight Movie!"
>"Sure, what's your na--"
>"Tomorrow night!" Runs out
>I'm living the dream
>Brag to friends, feel like a big man
>Walk to the theater. I start to realize how fucking weird this actually is because she never told me her name and didn't ask for mine.
>Decide to canvas the theater from across the street just to see what's up since it's a late show anyway
>At least a dozen dudes all looking like me are awkwardly standing around outside
>Random lanky twin of Dee Snider is smoking a cigarette, sitting on a bench, with a MiniDV cam propped up next to him and recording
social experiment? serial killer fishing? who the fuck knows.
Anon gets pwned
I shit you not I looked around for years for any results from what that dude was recording. Nothing. Not even a "lol this looks like you" to the group chat. That freaks me out more this was some bespoke video shit.
the guy on the bench was you in the future, time traveling back to video what was happening in order to look for clues as to what was happening.
what he will have had discovered would will been that it was you who set up the invitation in the first place and that all the dozen guys were all you in other realities.
you have to make the future happen, you know what to do.
That's brilliant
>save up 2 liters full of piss for months
>they get brown, cloudy, and obviously rancid
>friend and I decide to do something mischievous
>take a piss bottle
>walk around the adjacent neighborhood
>around 1am
>scanning all parked cars
>finally find one with the windows down
>open the piss bottle
>gag at the stench
>poor rotten piss all over the seat, dash, and steering wheel
Any movies like this?
Seven
Walking to the metro in the city after work with coworker. I was doing this thing where I would just say to random people, "Hey, enjoy your mother fucking night!" I did it to these two girls and one of them said, "Hey, do you want to make out with my friend?" I did, and just walked away toward my friend who's jaw was on the floor. One of the most macho moments of my life.
people think i'm lying when i tell this story but:
>be 17
>live in Vegas
>at rental car place with mother
>don't remember which one exactly, it was next to the strip
>mother is talking to an employee at the desk
>i'm sitting next to the exit in a chair
>this huge roided out, red skinned, juicer with a shit ton of tattoos comes in
>seconds later like 8 regular dressed men (they unironically all dressed like CIA from TDK, you know casual clothing)
>they all have guns
>they tell the guy he needs to go with him, i'm assuming he had a warrant for arrest
>the roided out guy is bummed, reluctant yet unusually compliant
>says something like "aw, man. really? ok fine."
>they go with him and leave the rentacar establishment
>mother is just like 10 feet away with her back turned on this situation
>i'm sort of shitting bricks and confused at the same time if they needed 8 cops to capture this guy bc i could've been shot if he did something since i'm right next to the exit
>tell mother about it, she looks at me like i'm crazy because they all didn't really raised their voices and came and went in under a minute
don't think this story is that outlandish for someone to believe but my mother and family don't believe me
You got to see some IRL kino, pretty based. I had the privilege of watching some cops beat the shit out of a nagger once.
never saw them beat up one but one time i drove to the mall located in the ghetto here in vegas. in the front the cops had some negro in cuffs. he had blood all over him.
I was in a car chase. I was the one being chased.
He could tell you were a homosexual and couldn't stand it.
>go to movie
>guy in front of me is talking
>tell him to shut up
>stands up and big dude
>wind up in alley outside with him punching me
>say, "I can do this all day"
>kicks the shit out of me
>just like the movie 'Captain America'
>never got superpowers or even won a fight after that though fml
>”COME BACK HERE, homosexual”
absolutely lost
>be me
>go to science exhibit
>atomic energy
>taking photos
>don't notice radioactive spider
>bites my hand
>go home
>pass out
>have weird dreams in red and blue about my DNA being spliced
>wake up in hospital
>uncle and aunt found me on floor and called ambulance
>almost died
>sick for a week
>never got superpowers or webshooters
>exactly like Spiderman except it wasn't
>driving my brother to a family gathering at my aunt's house, thanksgiving I think
>aunt's house is in one of those 60's neighborhoods where every house is identical and the street layout is just an endless bunch of winding streets named after trees
>spend a solid 30 minutes driving around this neighborhood until I end up back on the main street
>drive to grocery store a little ways away to regain my bearings
>ambulance goes by sirens blazing
>decide to follow ambulance
>it goes to my aunt's house
and then what happened? come on cliffhanging homosexual
So how did he know you were a homosexual?
>be a nagger
>be in army
>assigned to guard civilian contractor
>get ambushed
>we get separated and he gets captured
>find out later he built a suit of armour in a cave from a box of scraps
>fought his way out of cave
>destroyed enemy weapons cache with arm-mounted flamethrowers
>activated rocket boots and flew out just as they all exploded
>came back down and ploughed into sand dune
>went searching for him
>found his body inside the smashed armour
>killed by the impact
>kind of badass, but ultimately kind of a dumbass
>pity, Anthony really was a great friend and cool guy to drink with outside of work hours
>go on to quit army replaced by another nagger
>figure out that 1 x 1 = 2
lel
Stopped reading at the first line
>racistophobism
>figure out that 1 x 1 = 2
thats still wrong retard
>homosexual not even educated in Terryology:
?t=40
Get rekt by facts and logic retard:
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/terrence-howard-thinks-1x1-2-has-a-secret-system-called-terryology-and-spends-17-hours-a-day-making-nameless-plastic-structures-10502365.html
>yfw Rhodey not Stark was the true genius
out that 1 x 1 = 2
Another homosexual who doesn't know their Terryology. Where do all you uneducated morons come from?
>traveling India
>walking up long road to hilltop temple
>a commotion up ahead
>pig bolts out from angry crowd galloping towards me with a monkey riding its back
>let it pass as they run off into the sunset together
Posting in epic bread. Imagine killing someone and getting away with it just to dox yourself on tv. Fucking KEK. You can’t write movies better than real life.
it’s fucking crazy and hilarious like wtf homo sapiens
I can only imagine what that anon is feeling/thinking now. He's fucked.
>Coming from the Kitchen towards my room with some grapes
>Pass by my Great-Grandfather's Portrait
>Nod and ever so slightly bow my head
>New Potential Housekeeper saw me doing that while my Mother was showing her the house and was staring at me doe-eyed.
>She didn't take the Job
What the fuck is wrong with honoring your ancestors by acknowledging their presence ? Fucking Cunt
Same guy, This is not the first time I've been caught interacting with inanimate objects.This one is a little Wholesome.
>In the Kitchen
>Took out a Bottle of Water out from the fridge (Glass Bottle)
>Fill a glass of water in a glass glass.
>Clink it with the Bottle and Lift it upward like they do in films while looking at each other.
>Drink it with a slight smile on my face
>Little Sister was standing right beside me and starts shaking her head and we both start laughing uncontrollably.
Nice
Based
>be me, grade 11
>had to wait for my aunt to pick me up from school one day
>decide to kill time and read science magazines at the local library for the first time ever because it is right across from aunt's work
>find a comfy spot in the library and begin to read popsci
>realize there is an elderly lady near me also browsing, talking to herself
>10 mins pass, keep reading
>"I know you're listening to me, I know you aren't reading that, I can tell you aren't, look at me"
>realize she has been talking to me the entire time
>can't turn my eyes away from page lest she sees
>can't move
>"you are a nerd, why are you even here on a weekday"
>tears well up and I bolt out of there
>see my aunts homestay mexican qt on the bench outside waiting as well
>sit down and cry in front of her
I don't know what it was but that elderly lady somehow shook me to my soul. It was like she was evil incarnate. Why was she so mean to me? I just wanted to read a magazine :'(
You should've beat the shit out of her
Lack of social contact maybe, perhaps her children cut her off.
This probably.
I was at the mall the other day and a old woman was struggling with something so I offered to help her and she immediately started telling me a long story about her living environment naming people I don't know and going into quite personal details. I listened awkwardly then said goodbye. She was starved of attention. No one gives a fuck about old people
They tend to earn their neglect. Fuck over enough people over a life and end up very alone. It's a frightening thought.
unfortunately she was probably one of those neglected elderlies who lives alone or in a home. being alone and isolated for years does things to your brain. don't feel too weirded out, old people are just kooky. especially old women who are 8 times out of 10 psychopaths who want to kill every female younger than them out of jealousy and spite, you know because they're all shriveled up and unwanted.
she wanted your d
she wanted to groom you
Did you end up fucking the mexican?
>Take bath with my mom
>can feel full bush behind me
>Boner alert
>ask her to dry me off
>years later make every gf grow a bush but none can compete
>poster is probably 46, still living in his Mom's basement, and that happened last week
38 and her bush was so furry it went up to her navel and around her thighs
>> wife and I take mushrooms and go trip at Walmart
>screwing around in the pool and outdoor supplies
>try to negotiate a job with the night manager.
>lose my wife during interview.
> Manager leaves and I'm watching people splash around in picture of above ground pool
>Find her holding onto two handfuls of necklaces still attached to the spinning display
>She is leaned back at a 45deg angle like she's water-skiing.
>Not sure how long she had been doing this
>Leave Walmart and stop at Indian gas station
>get energy drinks.
>guy screeches into the parking spot next to us with techno blasting.
>I get on opposite side of the car next to wife and we peek over roof at this guy
> He jumps out, gestring wildly
>"Where's the party guys?"
>"Uh, what do you mean?"
>"I know you guys are on something "
>share terrified look
>"uhhhh. Is this real?"
>"I'm just looking for the party!"
>"uh, no. Thanks though. Have a good night!"
>inserting yourself in the story Javartus told you
? I think its pretty normal for shroomers and Molly fiends to link up in the wild. Unless you're some nerd who never did anything
idk about that but i can always tell if people are on molly or coke
i'm never high when they are so i dont bug 'em, dealing with sober people while high kind of sucks
>Walking around my neighborhood
>It's dark out, but just barely, like 7 pm in early fall
>Finish my walk, about to walk up the street to my house
>Get to intersection, car across from me stops
>He fucking PUTS ON his high beams as I walk past his car that is just staying still, I swear to god they weren't on before
>Think in the back of my mind that they might've been trying to hide their identity
>They drive off and I walk up the street
>Halfway there I've almost forgotten about it, when light completely envelops all sides of me
>Sure enough it's that same car, they couldn't've been down more than two roads before they turned around to go back down the road they just came from
>Think that it must be because I saw them, keep walking but go far enough into someone's yard that they would have to turn really far to hit me
>They go past but stop right at my house by the stop sign
>I don't want them to see me go in my house, so I slow down and hide behind a pine tree in a different neighbor's yard
>The car has been sitting for a minute at this point
>Someone gets out of the passenger door, walks around the car, and goes over to the street sign at the corner of our property
>It looks like me messed with something, maybe picking something up, maybe leaving something couldn't tell
>He gets in and the car finally leaves
>Go inside when I can't see them anymore, start freaking out that there must've been a drug deal either started or concluded right in my fucking yard
>Debate telling my family or just calling the police outright, consider going to check and see if I can see anything
>Not while it's fucking dark though
>The next day, I just don't want to acknowledge it. I steal cursory glances at the area the guy walked up to but I don't go there just in case someone is watching, don't see anything
>I know it's stupid not to go and look for sure since there's only woods, a cornfield, and a couple of neighbors in line of sight.
>Keep ignoring it and nothing happens
could have been some rentacop retard part of the neighborhood watch
>new years a few years ago
>go to my friends new place in the city I’m not familiar with
>as the night goes on, get separated from friends
>my phone dies, I have no cash on me, and I’m stuck at some casino bc that’s the last place I saw them
>it’s around 230 and I feel so distraught I sit down in the middle of the hallway
>group of three girls approach and ask if I’m ok
>tell her my situation
>it’s a cute one, a drunk one, and a fat grouchy one
>fat one tells cute one to come on, but she tells her to stop being a bitch
>they let me ride in an Uber with them while we try to figure out where my friends place is by me describing what the building looks like
>after a while the cute one says “if you can’t find it, I guess that just means you’ll have to sleep at my place, my beds big enough”
>silent for a moment
>spurt out that I just remembered where the place is
>Uber takes me there, tell them thank you, and go to friends place and sleep
a while the cute one says “if you can’t find it, I guess that just means you’ll have to sleep at my place, my beds big enough”
for a moment
out that I just remembered where the place is
>>Uber takes me there, tell them thank you, and go to friends place and sleep
KEK
A REAL HUMAN BEAN AND A REAL HERO A REAL HUMAN BEAN AND A REAL HERO A REAL HUMAN BEAN AND A REAL HERO A REAL HUMAN BEAN AND A REAL HERO A REAL HUMAN BEAN AND A REAL HERO A REAL HUMAN BEAN AND A REAL HERO A REAL HUMAN BEAN AND A REAL HERO A REAL HUMAN BEAN AND A REAL HERO A REAL HUMAN BEAN AND A REAL HERO A REAL HUMAN BEAN AND A REAL HERO A REAL HUMAN BEAN AND A REAL HERO A REAL HUMAN BEAN AND A REAL HERO A REAL HUMAN BEAN AND A REAL HERO A REAL HUMAN BEAN AND A REAL HERO A REAL HUMAN BEAN AND A REAL HERO A REAL HUMAN BEAN AND A REAL HERO A REAL HUMAN BEAN AND A REAL HERO A REAL HUMAN BEAN AND A REAL HERO A REAL HUMAN BEAN AND A REAL HERO
I fucking hate you so fucking much. I would kill for that to happen to me and you just fucking waste an opportunity like that you fucking cunt
Women are scary bros
Phew, you made it out. That was a close one.
imagine turning down cute n drunk n fat pussy to sleep with your smelly ass homies. nigga you faggier than op by miles
He might've left you alone if you were honest with him
When I went to see avatar last weekend some guy came in with one of those tinned pies and a fork and started eating it the entire runtime of the film, saw him just leave it on the seat after the movie ended but he took his fork.
>Be me. Take holidays to Rome.
>Everything's alright, Rome is a beautiful city.
>I'm fucking hungry.
>Go to look for the first open pizzeria.
>Weird, there are like 6 waiters but only two customers inside: one old fat man talking with a beautiful young girl (her own child? date?)
>Anyways, I don't care. I'm hungry and enter.
>A big burly waiter tells me "it is closed." Almost menacingly.
>I'm a bit stupid and tell him no, they're open, it's written on the door. And the two other customers? They're eating, them.
>Big burly man look at me suspiciously.
>Play the dumb tourist 100%, they're open, I just want a pizza.
>They look at each others, tension palpable.
>Finally they accept and sit me down far from the fat guy.
>2 waiters watches all my movement as I eat my pizza like hawks.
>Get out 30 minutes later.
>No other customers in sight.
And that's the day I'm pretty sure I met a Mafia boss and my own stupidity almost got me killed.
Probably just the owner
yeah probably the FUCK YOU PAY ME types of owner lol
No one will believe me and I should've filmed it
>nice summer day
>take daughter (she was 2) out to the backyard to jump on our trampoline
>trying to get her ass down for a nap because I'm dead from work
>bouncing bouncing bouncing bouncing fun fun fun fun fun
>starts to rain, just light sprinkle so we hold our hands out and catch some
>rain gets stronger, so I say "time to go"
>climb off trampoline
>foot touches down and I immediately slip like a fucking clown, landing on my back on the mud and grass while the rain comes down
>check myself if I've broken anything, all clear
>hear daughter mumbling to herself
>"Rain rain go away"
>stay on the ground and listen to her repeat those words, she doesn't seem to know the rest
>realize the rain has stopped
>get up, muddied, look at her as she slowly stops singing and call her for a hug
>hug
Felt surreal like out of a movie
Wholesome
>summer day
>rain
>slipped and might have hit head causing concussion
>anon thinks his daughter is a witch that stopped the rain
pls don't burn her
Yeah I work mall security in a shit area, this shit happens weekly
>Be visiting NYC
>Walking down the street
>Suddenly get an urge and yell out BADDA BING
>Some fat guy in a greasy wifebeater leaning out of a window across the street yells BADDA BOOM
>mfw
>getting a soda from the gas station
>homeless guy is trying to pay with coins but he doesnt want to count them
>black lady at the register is like just fuck off you broke ass nigga
>he takes the coins and throws them right in her face
>FUCK YOU BITCH
>leaves
>Be me
>Walking my dog on a golf course in the early afternoon, I'm technically not allowed to do that, but there were no golfers and various others were walking dogs there
>On the way back, someone yells at me to get the fuck off the gold course
>It's not a golfer or member of the golf club, but rather some random dude walking his own dog
>I point out how he shouldn't be the one to get off, he angrily shouts that's he's a member of staff when he's clearly not (he says this is also why he's allowed to walk his own dog there, but as a golfer myself I know that excemption doesn't exist)
>I start leaving anyway, but he gets even angrier and starts shouting abuse at my dog next (calling her a "fucking spastic")
>Finally, I snap and tell him that he's not staff and he needs to leave me alone nor even get off the course himself
>Angrily screams that he's gonna fucking kill me. Me and my dog run to the public path while he chases us with a knife
>Haven't walked on the course since
some country clubs do be like that
>find out who he is
>surveille area you run into him if you have to
>follow him find out where he lives
>research him and his life
>figure out way to get him off the street the least violent, and most law-abiding way possible, with minimal risk to yourself
>if he did that shit to you, he's a danger to other people
>eg. find out if he's doing anything illegal you can report
>nobody will have any reason to think it was you, since he's not likely to tell anyone he chased you with a knife, etc.
>carry on living like a free man doing what you would otherwise do knowing you don't have to worry about homosexual, and neither does anybody else
nah I just drove my car through the course and hit him seemed easier
Two wrong don't make a right, but you can bend the rules a little in the pursuit of justice. Sometimes you don't even have to do that. homosexual like that is probably forever fucking up and one strike away from serious jail time, etc.
At the moment you're the only one who knows for sure he's guilty of a crime, which you might not be able to prove, but that doesn't mean you can't do anything. Just get creative.
ive already hit him with my automobile anon
Yes, but did you back up over him a few times to make sure? Tell me you at least did it right.
>2006
>bunch of buddies and new gf go camping in woods
>everyone but me and 2 others passed out 3am
>grab wet log and smash into wood pile to get damp leaves off
>loud fucking scream like a fucking real life monster around 200 feet into swamp
>do it again this time the scream sounds closer and pissed
>sit by fire another hour drunk and sketching out
>wake up in tent next morning and one buddy that did not hear what we did goes out for a piss
>comes back in tent curls in ball
>"there is a fucking gorilla in the swamp"
>run out nothing there
>never went camping in those woods again
>5 years later go on you tube and look for strange sounds in woods
>find exactly the same sounding thing we heard 5 years earlier
Post the YouTube videos
spooky, did your friend see anything or he just went off the sound?
my buddy who was passed out when we heard what we did that night claimed he saw a gorilla in the woods the next morning. only the 3 of us awake by 3am heard the thing.
>>find exactly the same sounding thing we heard 5 years earlier
Same sound as this?
?t=429
Idk how you're going to find out which but one of those friends is now a skinwalker
bump
I experienced basically Home Alone 2, but in San Francisco and no Wet Bandits
>Be stupid 15 yr me
>There was a Sweet Ann Cakes being built near an abandoned house
>Have stupid idea to enter abandoned house's second floor to then cross over to the SACakes roof
>Be with 5 other friends
>We pull it off and notice there's an entrance to the place through the roof theres a ladder to reach down as well
>We go down and start exploring
>We hear sirens in the distance but they keep getting closer
>We see cop car lights at the entrance
>We make a run for it to the bathrooms
>I notice there's a sign that says "Admin room"
>I swap out the bathroom with that sign
>We all enter the bathroom and lock it
>MFW hear K-9 units sniffing
>Fucking dog starts smelling under the door where we at
>Hear a loud bang and: 'GET OUT OF THERE. WE KNOW YOURE THERE'.
>We all kept dead silent
>One of the cops say there's no one there that's the Admin room it only opens with a key
>They keep searching for like 8 minutes and then leave
>We literally froze in place for like 4 hours straight without saying a word to each other
>We're all covered in sweat and dust and are all crammed in the small bathroom
>After 2 more hours we decide to open to the door, climb the ladder to the roof, and then cross to the abandoned house
>Finally reach the street and we all let out a sigh of relief, I had never felt more free in my life, some of my friends were crying and hugging, another one didn't speak for 2 days
>Next couple of days I went to a friend's house (not one of the 5 that broke in with me) and he tells me his mom saw some people breaking in the SACakes during the night and that she alerted the cops
>Fucking slut almost got me arrested
>"Oh, wow Anon I thought this was a safe area. Seems you never really know"
>Never came back to his house again
I shit you not this really happened...
>leaving my apartment complexes basement gym
>walking through a basement floor long fucking tunnel to shortcut to my side of the building
>nobody else in the whole long tunnel, light flickering always here
>suddenly I hear a woman scream full volume right into my right ear from what I can say with 100% certainty was from within mere few centimeters from my ear, the scream came from so close and so loud it felt like my eardrum was hurt
>I winced in pain and quickly turned around, in that whole split of a second the thought had already entered in my mind that somehow someone snuck up on me silently in a long hallway and pranked me
>no one
>there is fucking nobody still in the long basement tunnel
>my heart is immediately pounding rapidly and so hard I can feel it beating my chest
>I start walking at a constantly accelerating speed while looking behind me the whole time
>For the first time in my life, I realize ghosts are real
>I start fucking sprinting
>I reach the door into the stairwell
>fumbling with my keys in panic, failing to open the lock a few times before I finally get it, the whole time looking towards where I ran from
>opening the door took a few seconds maybe but felt like an eternity
>ran a couple flights of stairs up before slowing down to walking speed as I saw the outside through windows now
I walked through that tunnel a few more times after gym again, but was really uncomfortable each time and felt like I was being watched by the ghost
Stopped taking that shortcut
Cont.
Also another weird thing I saw in the same tunnel one time, I can't remember if it was before or after the ghost incident
>leaving gym, going through the tunnel
>I hear someone behind me, I see a tall pitch black negro in the distance at the very end of the tunnel
>his face was the freakiest thing I ever saw
>I swear it looked like he had completely white eyes, and rows of sharp filed teeth as he grinned in the distance
>his teeth looked abnormally long too, and jagged, some pointing in different directions
>he looked and moved like he was in some kind of drug induced state, everything about him made me think of Haitian voodoo zombies
>I sped up, and he was somehow catching up with me as I moved through the tunnel, even though I was walking fast
>I decide my life could be in danger because this freak is trying to catch up to me for some reason, so I run to the door and up the stairs
I swear both of these really happened
It made me superstitious
maybe an echo from the street, the hallway amplified the sound?
Or an animal that he didn't see screeching. Rodent, bat, bird, etc.
You think I didnt try to rationalize it with every possible explanation already? How would there be an echo of someones voice inside a windowless basement tunnel that nobody else is in? And I told you, the scream originated from mere centimeters away from my right ear
It was so close and directed right into my ear that my eardrum was hurt and kept hurting for a while
And the sound didnt echo, it only repeated once
>crackhead
No shit I considered this, you didnt think? Doesnt explain the entirely white eyes and long sharp teeth, what is he a fucking cannibal tribal in the city?
man I believe you until these basic bitch homosexuals experience something fucked up like we have they can never understand.
resorting to the paranormal to rationalize seemingly irrational situations is what literal retards do
please tell us what fedora tipping homosexuals like you do?
till you experience something really messed up like this guy or I have there is no point trying to rationalize anything with you.
>please tell us what fedora tipping homosexuals like you do?
projecting
>till you experience something really messed up like this guy or I have there is no point trying to rationalize anything with you.
exactly what a retard would say
bro you are the NPC living in our movie lmao you assblasted homosexual
>now uses the term "NPC"
you literally don't even know you're a retard
never seen anyone get this triggered on here you ok man?
you've projected what? 4 times now? make it a 5th, anon.
>projected
>projecting
you like that word don't you
are you 15?
>are you 15
that's the 5th time you've projected. i bet you had to google it, ESL.
lmao you dim wit
annoying contrarian sperg
samefag
>not samefagging
>while posting on his phone
bahahahahaha, you god damn retard
>contrarian
you don't even know what that word means, ESL
>t. materialist sperg with Fi function
Grow up.
there you go projecting again, ESL. what's wrong with you? where is all this coming from?
>mentally malformed subhuman sperg
You will never reproduce.
projecting AGAIN
???????????????
do you have zero self-awareness?????
Yawn. Thread closed, autist genetic chaff, lmao.
google the word "projecting" and re-read all of your posts. sort of feel sorry for you.
>How would there be an echo of someones voice inside a windowless basement tunnel that nobody else is in?
because it's a windowless basement tunnel? anon wtf
>Doesnt explain the entirely white eyes and long sharp teeth
anon i might be the first person to tell you this but some crackheads are homeless people with bad hygiene and fucked up teeth
>How would there be an echo of someones voice inside a windowless basement tunnel
Some cunt waaay down at the end of the hall probably gave a yell.
Its also an underground tunnel. Those things echo like crazy.
>And the sound didnt echo, it only repeated once
That doesn't seem right. It should've echoed.
>I reach the door
What is a fucking door going to do to stop a fucking ghost?
What does that have to do with anything? I didnt claim it would stop a ghost, I literally told you I kept running after the door, up the stairs. I only stopped running because sunlight from the windows on upper floors made me think it was safe, like why would a ghost be able to attack someone in broad day light?
Why wouldn't it? Are you calling all the people who claim to have had daylight ghost experiences liars, but expect us to believe you? How about fuck you homosexual?
anon do you know what an echo is. someone was probably just fucking with you.
nigga you saw a crackhead zoinked out of his mind
>live in rural east Ontario
>uncle driving me home from my cousins house
>beat up old car following us look at plate its from Wyoming WTF
>it follows each turn we make
>turn into my driveway it follows us
>get to house and they get out of the car
>''hey are you anons son?''
>yeah
>guy and his insane wife end up living down at our pond for 3 months and all hell insures but that's another story
>hike into woods with friends to get to small lake away from the world
>one friend nobody likes not sure why he even comes everyone to much of a pussy to tell him to go away
>we are all swimming having a good time
>one guy decides he needs to take a massive shit
>swims over to little point that juts out from shore a little bit away from the island
>hes a good hundred yards away from us
>he gets bare ass naked and starts squatting and shitting
>at this point it gets surreal I have never laughed harder or longer in my life and I still cannot believe I witnessed this
>the guy nobody likes who we rag on all the time hiked an inflatable kayak in and he is paddling around the lake
>he paddles over to our shitting friend
>our shitting friend bare ass naked stands up and starts checking turds at the guy in the kayak
>kayak dude starts using his oar like darth maul and straight up deflects 2 turds
the whole thing was so beyond absurd the worst part is even after having someone throw their own shit at him the guy still didn't understand we didn't want him around for another 6 months.
>9 years old
>at soccer tournament being hosted by neighbouring school
>i'm on the sidelines while my team is playing
>group of girls comes up to me
>head chick asks "is your name ryan?"
>"no, i'm anon."
>"can i have your number?"
>gives me some paper and a pen
>write 1-800-FUCK-OFF on it
>hand it back to girl and walk away
>team coach chastises me for fraternizing with the enemy
>get benched for rest of afternoon
>our team won the whole thing
>we sing we are the champions on walk back to school.
>mall security tackling the guy.
this is how i know your story is fake
paul blart was on duty that day my dude
>sitting on couch in basement with gf
>we hear footsteps coming down stairs
>look back and see guy with red hat and an Indian styled biker jacket
>WTF
>follow him down hall
>he is fucking gone
>gf stands guard as I look into the 3 rooms top to bottom there was nobody in any of the rooms
>tripping the fuck out now
>she is scared take gf home
not sure wtf it was some kind of vivid duel hallucination ghost ill never know for sure. all I do know is there is no way that thing got out cause there are no windows or doors out where it walked.
Guys want a creepy one?
>Be a young child
>See this exact figure every night in my bedroom doorway
>Never scared me, just saw it every night
>When we moved I never saw it again, so I forgot about it
>Didn't think about it for probably over 10 years
>Researching on the internet as a teen
>See the same figure I saw every night as a kid on some forum
>Myriad stories from people I never met who had seen this thing
>I had never talked to anyone about it, no one implanted the idea in my head, I saw it as a kid before movies and stuff really implanted ideas like that in me.
>And yet, without any communication, and before the internet existed, hundreds of people saw the same figure
>Years later I'm working at a restaurant and my coworker is telling me about his sick father. Tells me that when he was sick he would complain about seeing a man in a long black coat and wide brimmed hat.
I get shivers just thinking about it.
sleep paralysis hallucination
very common for people to see shadow humanoids, also common is that they wear hats for some reason
>everyone has the same "hallucination" despite not knowing each other and having no idea what sleep paralysis is
>duhhhh is nothing!!!
15 year old deboonkers are retarded.
sleep paralysis isn't learned you dumb fucking schizo homosexual many people have it
go back to /x/ and LARP
you were a child that remembered wrong
I certainly could be remembering it wrong, but sleep paralysis is apparetly terrifying and traumatic, and I imagine would remember that part of it. No, I was not paralyzed.
I've learned that since, but I was not experiencing sleep paralysis, I am sure of that. I have nevertheless become extremely fascinated by the topic and why they see shadow people like me.
Then you're gonna love this shit anon:
I've got another one for you. The Nightmare is a documentary about sleep paralysis where people just share their stories and what they saw, including tbe hat man.
Yeah, I've had sleep paralysis a few times, first time as a kid I thought the Devil was trying to kill me. Never heard of it so didn't know what it was, but was vague red imagery and horns. Literally prayed to Jesus to save me. Pressure on chest, all the usual shit. Just a few seconds, but freaked me out.
After the first couple of times didn't bother me and I was like, "Oh this shit again", and just impatiently wait the few seconds until voluntary muscle control kicks back in. Read about what it was as an adult and explained a lot. Was no big deal, but I can see how it might make people believe in shit, I just wasn't too worried about it immediately after the fact.
This is the most comical and embarrassing thing I think Ive ever done.
>in hotel
>got sent for work training in specific city
>training doesn't start till tomorrow
>got a whole day and a hotel room with nothing to do for 24 hours
>bored shitless
>decide to go out and do some shopping and stop at a bar on the way back
>go down to my company car
>reach in pocket
>for got keys
>aw fuck
>on 4th floor
>take elevator
>reach into my wallet
>I forgot to put the key in my wallet
>go to front desk ask for new key tell him I locked myself out
>he give it to me
>grab keys and leave
>go to walmart and get some food
>go back to hotel to put perishables in fridge
>reach into wallet for key
>I left the key
>FUCK
>please don't be the same guy
>its the same guy at desk
>get new key
>put shit away and chill for a bit
>Dinner time rolling around go out to dinner
>get back to my room
>reach in wallet
>FUCK FUCK FUCK
>same guy at desk
>chill for a bit
>8 pm head out to a local bar do some drinking
>get back a bit later
>go to room
>check wallet
>forgot key again
>please please please don't be the same front desk dude
>it is
>wake up got 12 hours of training
>do training
>get back to hotel reach into wallet
>OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
>please god save me if its the same guy
>it was
The best part is I remembered I was just emptying my pockets into my center console so all the keys besides the first one were literally just in my car and outside the first time I never needed to ask for another key
lmfao. how weird of a look did he give you each time you came back?
It's an honor to have you posting here President Biden, but you posted this same story in five other threads, don't you remember?
I was at the airport in London just after the tube bombings in the mid 00s. I got separated from my parents and thought they might be at the gate. Security was present everywhere, dudes with guns checking boarding cards and passports.
I had neither so I just kind of walked past after making eye contact and giving them a nod, hoping to find my parents at the gate. My parents eventually showed up and they had asked security if I came this way. "Tall chap? Yes, he just sauntered past about 10 minutes ago."
Years later I would be diagnosed with autism in my 30s.
I worked at as a waiter once.
>Old man comes in on a relatively quiet Sunday.
>Loves his starter, coffee & main.
>Gets the bill
>"It was lovely."
>Proceeds to vomit all over himself, the table & various other customers.