I've got a tremendous thirst on all of a sudden.

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  1. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    This is me but coffee. I had to stop going to the same coffee place as the girls working there kept giving me free coffee and talking to me. I just wanted to get my coffee and leave.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      it's good to have a active imagination, anon

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      Heck yea adulting

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      The analogy between a sketch about a broke-ass alcoholic trying not to seem like one when obtaining alcohol first thing in the morning and your fascinating story evades me.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        I have a coffee addiction. I drink 12 cups a day

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          Do you go to coffee shops pretending you're not there for the coffee, because you're ashamed of social stigma associated with being addicted to caffeine to the point you need it in the morning? No? Then this is not "you but coffee" and nobody cares.

          • 4 days ago
            Anonymous

            Your hurting my feelings

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      the girl at popeyes made my order all weird to give me some kind of discounts the receipt said like (E) or something. why would risk her wage cage to offer a discount to a complete stranger?

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      you were supposed to fingerbang them out back

  2. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    >Alcoholic Lager Beer!

  3. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    It's the continental way

  4. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    I haven't had a drink in over two years but I do remember finally dropping any formalities and pleasantries like this at my liquor store to be quite liberating and I'm sure the store attendant felt the same way.

  5. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    I prefer the other sketch where they're both drunks who pretend they're extremely thirsty because of how warm it is and go into a pub

    Also I can relate to the slight embarrassment of being a pisshead and having to see the same guy every day in the shop, But this seems oddly specific and I wonder if it was based on their own personal experience.

  6. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    God I miss drinking

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      it's fun while you're drunk, but ruins every other aspect of your life later.

  7. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    Sometimes I wish I was an alcoholic

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      it's too expensive, plus a lot of truly rotten people are drunks. gives everyone a bad name.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      I wish I could be the drink a pint of whiskey in the morning and it be nothing alcoholic. I'd just throw up and have a hangover for weeks.

  8. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    >Have a rotation of 4 stores
    >Also incorporate 3 online delivery services
    >Record in my calendar when I go where to minimize repeat interactions
    They probably all know, but at least they don't see me more than once every 3 weeks

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      >tfw you get the same delivery person two days in a row and they make sarcastic comments about how much you must drink
      Just do your job and deliver me my fricking booze. You can insult me all you want in private.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      >tfw all the liquor stores in my town are owned by an extended Arab family and they switch between stores irregularly
      >saw the same guy at different stores two days in a row

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        i really doubt he gives a shit. this rotating between stores stuff is probably really common, i also did that for awhile when i was self conscious about how much alcohol i was getting. i guarantee the clerks don't give a flying frick who is an alcoholic or not though.

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        >Arab
        >Alcohol

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          Arabs are incredibly hypocritical

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          muslims are quite happy to sell alcohol

        • 4 days ago
          Anonymous

          arabs are the reason why I can buy a bottle of vodka at 3am on a bank holiday. they only do it for the money

  9. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    I own a gas station and there’s a Mexican guy who comes in 4 times a day for 2 big corona bottles.

  10. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    the only time it's really awful having to do this is when you have the shakes as well and can hardly even pay for the alcohol you need to calm down

  11. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    Mitchell and Webb have a genius for treading the sad/funny line. The Event sketches and Old Sherlock are both quite heartbreaking.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      I found this more sad than funny

      • 4 days ago
        Anonymous

        There's a sketch before this where they make funny of Blackadder's finale only to have this be the sad ending

  12. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    >when the dude already has your every day purchase bagged up at the till waiting for you
    Thank you, pajeet working in his uncle's shop on Burdett Road, you saved me valuable seconds

  13. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    Me at 20: was the shopkeeper
    Me in my 30's: is the customer

    Many such cases.

  14. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    My dad was like this. Even used the heat as an excuse to down 6 beers because he was thirsty.

    >raging alcholic
    >downs a half of bottle of whiskey per day
    >had stashes all around the house, even hiding it in stupid places we all regularly used (behind the clean towels)
    >we would always know he was drinking because the bottle was clanking against the wall as he tried to reach it.

    Ironically he despised and laughed at alcoholics and druggies because they were weak.

    Still this skit makes me laugh.

  15. 4 days ago
    Anonymous

    Me everyday after work.

    • 4 days ago
      Anonymous

      I spent about a year doing it before work as well. good times.

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