lmao I truly want to believe you. I fucked the wife of a drunken retard just like him once so it wouldn't surprise me if you aren't lying. Tell the story my dude
https://i.imgur.com/Gdht0pW.jpg
>LE TAKE MUH SHIRT OFF I'M A CUHRAZY DRUNK XDDD
Does /misc/ like this kind of comedy?
I still have no idea why he's being pushed so hard. He's not funny and no one really respects him outside of Tom Segura who is insanely funnier. Bert seems like he means well he's just not funny and an obvious tool. Someone is clearly using him as a dimwitted cash cow.
Not much of a story. It was the son of my boss. He was also a useless retard that was literally the spitting image of Bert except his hair of blonder and he was too stupid to tell stories like Bert. The only thing he was good at was welding.
Anyway some of my buds through a Halloween party 2 years ago (small town bullshit so we all know each other) and his wife and daughter were there. He was shitfaced drunk and acting like his normal moronic self embarrassing himself and shit. His 7/10 wife and I started chatting a bit and we snuck to the woods behind the house and I fucked her doggy style against a tree.
They are still together for some reason. Probably just for the kid.
lmao I truly want to believe you. I fucked the wife of a drunken retard just like him once so it wouldn't surprise me if you aren't lying. Tell the story my dude
[...]
I still have no idea why he's being pushed so hard. He's not funny and no one really respects him outside of Tom Segura who is insanely funnier. Bert seems like he means well he's just not funny and an obvious tool. Someone is clearly using him as a dimwitted cash cow.
Artie is going to outlast the heat death of the universe despite the fact that he’s probably going to try to kill himself three or four more times before that happens.
Plenty of great men let their hair take its natural course. Coping by shaving is way more insecurity driven than simply letting it wilt away-- in fact it's a much more recent phenomenon for 20-30 year olds with thinning hair to just shave it all off. You know how many seething baldies I see at my gym, and every single one of them grew a beard to compensate their babyfaced chinlet hair recession genes and they all look like the exact same type of person.
Meanwhile one of the gym regulars is hardcore thinning on top and has his hair down to his shoulders or in a ponytail and he pulls more pussy in than anybody else because he exudes the one thing a shaved head and beard will never replace; confidence.
So basically your idea that men need to impress other men by following the trend of shaving their hair cause it's thinning is pure gayry. Women are the ultimate arbiters of what looks good and women are fucking tired of the bald head, bearded, goes to the gym look.
Thankfully I have a full head of hair and I'm tall so whatever the latest copetrend is for ugly men will never matter to me, but for all the lurkers in this thread that think a man's opinion on your looks matters let me tell you this.
Other men do not matter, they will never matter, and looking like other men guarantees you will treated like other men (and we all know there's a lot of sexless dateless men out there) so do your best to look clean and cultivate yourself to be a unique person.
i wear a hecking trucker hair over my balding head but its mesh and see thru so you can still tell i got a bald spot oh well lol still better than going with the bic'd head and beard soijak look
I watched his standup and honestly it was way funnier than other modern comics specials. These Joe Rogan adjacent boobs think about "the art" and saying provocative things they forget to be funny and also confuse the fact that it's nothing more than a parlor trick.
He’s just not funny at all. His podcast is one of the worst things I’ve ever been forced to listen to. Had to tell the driver to turn it off after 5 minutes because of all the pig noises
Comedy?
Funnier than posting Bert threads for months and months.
probably viral marketing for his new flick
his specials are pretty
nothing groundbreaking but worth a chuckle or two
imagine defending this alchie pig
I read it more as he dislikes bert and thinks op is even worse.
I fucked Berts wife in Scottsdale
AMA
who is his wife
When? Why? How?
is this the best you can do to beg for attention from strangers?
Hey Bert, hows the hangover?
1/10 I replied
Your wifes pussy smells really bad btw
lmao I truly want to believe you. I fucked the wife of a drunken retard just like him once so it wouldn't surprise me if you aren't lying. Tell the story my dude
I still have no idea why he's being pushed so hard. He's not funny and no one really respects him outside of Tom Segura who is insanely funnier. Bert seems like he means well he's just not funny and an obvious tool. Someone is clearly using him as a dimwitted cash cow.
>fucked the wife of a drunken retard just like him once s
tell me this story
Not much of a story. It was the son of my boss. He was also a useless retard that was literally the spitting image of Bert except his hair of blonder and he was too stupid to tell stories like Bert. The only thing he was good at was welding.
Anyway some of my buds through a Halloween party 2 years ago (small town bullshit so we all know each other) and his wife and daughter were there. He was shitfaced drunk and acting like his normal moronic self embarrassing himself and shit. His 7/10 wife and I started chatting a bit and we snuck to the woods behind the house and I fucked her doggy style against a tree.
They are still together for some reason. Probably just for the kid.
>. His 7/10 wife and I started chatting a bit and we snuck to the woods behind the house and I fucked her doggy style against a tree
nice
tell the fuckin stories already fags
Leanne is a great milf
Who lives longer Bam or Bert?
artie lange
Artie is going to outlast the heat death of the universe despite the fact that he’s probably going to try to kill himself three or four more times before that happens.
HOLY MOLEY!!!!
ITS THE HECKING MACHINE D00D~!!!!!
What keeps a man from not shaving his hair when it's like this? It'd look so much better.
Plenty of great men let their hair take its natural course. Coping by shaving is way more insecurity driven than simply letting it wilt away-- in fact it's a much more recent phenomenon for 20-30 year olds with thinning hair to just shave it all off. You know how many seething baldies I see at my gym, and every single one of them grew a beard to compensate their babyfaced chinlet hair recession genes and they all look like the exact same type of person.
Meanwhile one of the gym regulars is hardcore thinning on top and has his hair down to his shoulders or in a ponytail and he pulls more pussy in than anybody else because he exudes the one thing a shaved head and beard will never replace; confidence.
So basically your idea that men need to impress other men by following the trend of shaving their hair cause it's thinning is pure gayry. Women are the ultimate arbiters of what looks good and women are fucking tired of the bald head, bearded, goes to the gym look.
Thankfully I have a full head of hair and I'm tall so whatever the latest copetrend is for ugly men will never matter to me, but for all the lurkers in this thread that think a man's opinion on your looks matters let me tell you this.
Other men do not matter, they will never matter, and looking like other men guarantees you will treated like other men (and we all know there's a lot of sexless dateless men out there) so do your best to look clean and cultivate yourself to be a unique person.
i wear a hecking trucker hair over my balding head but its mesh and see thru so you can still tell i got a bald spot oh well lol still better than going with the bic'd head and beard soijak look
You write like a gay
Is Bert the biggest midwit filter in stand up? Redditors hate him, while low iq normies and high iq comedy enjoyers love him.
/misc/ is too low IQ to appreciate The Machine
This is one of those instances where being low IQ is a benefit.
I watched his standup and honestly it was way funnier than other modern comics specials. These Joe Rogan adjacent boobs think about "the art" and saying provocative things they forget to be funny and also confuse the fact that it's nothing more than a parlor trick.
Whenever I think about drinking I picture this ruddy old fatass wearing a fitted cap and the urge somehow becomes weaker. It actually works
>constantly has his shirt off
>constantly shows his butt
>too much of a coward to show his tiny dick
Reminder, The ~~*industry*~~ cancelled Sam Hyde while promoting garbage “comedians” like Bert.
reminder that hyde is a gay
sam is not funny, but maybe if you donate $50 again he'll really appreciate you bro
I feel bad Shane Gillis has to pretend to like this guy
If he was talented he probably wouldn't be milking one story for more than a decade
I just want to feel his belly on top of my head.
He’s just not funny at all. His podcast is one of the worst things I’ve ever been forced to listen to. Had to tell the driver to turn it off after 5 minutes because of all the pig noises
Is he based? Or a leftist?
If he's based I may go see his film before No Buy June starts.
I thought this guy was a rogan guy but all the libtards love him
I don't really remember the things I do in much detail so I never tell stories. I'm pretty sure everyone who does is embellishing or lying
Who is this shirtless retard ?
Shitty comedian who is now everywhere for some reason
It's because he's got a Netflix movie coming out. Standard astroturfing. Come for the memes, ignore product.
The Machine looks like a really stupid and funny movie that's at least worth pirating. I've never seen his stand up act though and I'm not interested.
>le
>muh
>xd
None of these are arguments