This phonograph "reads" a rock’s rough surface and transforms it into beautiful ambient music pic.twitter.com/PYDzYsWWf8— Surreal Videos (@SurrealVideos) March 3, 2023
This phonograph "reads" a rock’s rough surface and transforms it into beautiful ambient music pic.twitter.com/PYDzYsWWf8— Surreal Videos (@SurrealVideos) March 3, 2023
>Eric looks happy to be with Ariel up top
>Guy on the bottom has a thousand yard state screaming regret next to Blariel
It's like pottery, it rhymes.
Literally soul vs soulless. That guy really looks like he's considering suicide.
"I can't believe I have to go through all this shit just to fuck something I legally OWN."
Seems awfully familiar...
>Peter Pan a Puckish Rogue with a eternal elfish presence.
>Get a dull slab faced Pajeet
>Kiss de girl? I mean sure I guess, but...I mean she's nice and all but...ya know maybe...phew...man...yup...
And it's some fucked rap rap version of it
Fucking hell Disney. Chemistry fucking matters you epic wastes of space.
he literally looks like the Eric from Ariel Needs Legs holy kek
>Please don't. Please. PleeeeeEEAA--fuck.
>romance where the actors have zero chemistry
as if the movie isn't getting shit on hard enough but they can't even get like basic fucking direction work. even the people that support black leads in films seriously can't sit right knowing damn well disney's making an objectively shit product and using a black woman to take most of the heat for it since she's being pegged as the face of the movie. the very, very wide face.
>crying about chemistry based on these shitposts
No one's forcing you to reach this hard for an excuse to have a melty.
>you can't just nitpick the promo shots released specifically to advertise the movie
yeah the dogshit colors terrible casting are one thing but the idea the movie is also awkwardly shot and directed? too much.
and see you in a few weeks where theres articles saying they had to CGI the kiss scene like that fucking jonah hill movie
>boo hoo hoo you can't tell that i'm having a melty my bad faith nonsense isn't laughably obvious
Just stick to complaining about the cinematography if you want to look like you have an actual point.
can you just normal words or do you have to type like a dumbfuck asshole 24/7
>bad faith nonsense
the fuck are you talking about even. I don't care that the movie has a black chick its just clearly a shit remake disney crapped out to keep a stranglehold on their little mermaid copyright and they just slapped a black chick in there to keep retards arguing about race bullshit instead of talking about how the nightmare hellscape disney has warped copyright laws into. the least they can do with this burner film is not make it look like abject shit though so people don't continue to associate black leads with crap films since the only time they push them is in stupid shit like this. like shit I liked princess and the frog, just make like an actual black movie with black characters and black stories and not this stupid shit just to wank off a nearly 35 year old IP you're desperate to hold on to because you wont try to make any new profitable IP's
I mean the cinematography is going to be a load of shit if the other live action remakes are any indicator.
Looking like good bait at least.
That's a "if you only knew how bad things were" pic if I saw one.
Because it's going to bump limit with shitposting.
Have they fucked up the soundtrack?
There should be at least one rap song on it.
Get ready for a rap song by sebastian.
I mean, it would hardly be unexpected given the broadway musical production the relevant people are famous for.
Ah fucking horrid "rapping" no Sweeping Caribbean Melody. https://youtu.be/GC_mV1IpjWA
Double he's doing a shitty fake ass Jamaican accent.
Thank the good graces that the sub par talent that garbage play propped up is starting to fade away.
I hope they make Sebastian a horrifying cgi monstrosity like the did Lion King.
I guess you could call him that.
What's funny is that species of crab doesn't live underwater - it's a land-based species. They just picked it because someone thought it looked cool.
Hermit Crab would have been a Cool Design to use. Could have made it fit with a music style.
>the complete lack of color in the live action version
Berry doesn’t look like she’s having a good time either
why did you make this thread again, gay
>My feet hurt
>this bitch is crazy
>I miss Max
WHERE THE FUCK IS THE COLOUR
i am the colour now
there's a killzone anime?
>WHERE THE FUCK IS THE COLOUR
Disney thought they just needed a colored person, so they could cheap out on the actual color in the film.
I am half joking. The scam is they have these shitty remakes and reboots. They half ass them, but they stick in token black and minority recastings. That way, not matter hoe bad the product is, they can deflect criticisms. They are using black people as human shields, all in the name of their own profit. Disgusting.
I feel bad for this actress being used like this. I know they need work, but it sucks they are put in this position.
At least we know she won't talk during that scene
is the bottom even an official image or some shot in production some gay took?
it looks like a straight-to-VHS release
at least the black cinderella adaptation was fun to look at
The songs were also an actual improvement from the 60s film/theater it was based on
I wanted to fuck asian Eric so bad
the prince from cinderella was also named eric? It's been a while since I last saw either film
Will they raceswap Pocahontas in her inevitable reboot?
They cast an aboriginal Australian as her actress
Short, fat chinese chick.
I doubt she'll be an actual Native American that's for sure.
That's basically PR suicide. The most they'll do is add a gay side character that kisses in one scene that will be edited out in China.
>This movie has like 70% black cast
>The story was changed to be more feminist (Ariel won't leave everything behind for a MAN)
>CGI looks awful
>Sebastian, Flounder, Scuttle (now a girl) are nightmare fuel
>Eric is ugly and soulless (every woman wanted Henry Cavill)
>Ariel looks like a dirty hobo
>No chemistry between Ariel and Eric
>The movie looks too dark
Did I miss anything?
she's going to be ariel's mom
>My hair is a tidal wave. Your argument is invalid.
Nah just Trusted Advisers that practically raised him and will be the Voices of reason for his later actions.
>seven poons my bro
i could smell it just by looking at that face
Nice to have that inside track huh?
of course the woman lead is a fish-eyed uggo but the man is still a stud
>skinnyfat with Harold's pained face
>the man is still a stud
that droopy fucker is not a stud kek
pic related is a stud
please learn the difference
the man can't act, anon. Hell, while I'm shitting on him I may as well throw in the fact his college degree's just set dressing because it's religious studies and shit.
garden gnomes are in the movie biz because white people considered it the loser job of the time period.
Only ourselves to blame for this, my fellow whites
Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't that also true of banking?
No, it isn't. Medieval christianity made a lot of allowances for necessary evils so there bankers all over the place, even the Knights Templar got in on it. garden gnomes were allowed to lend at rates that were considered unchristian in exchange for the commoners hating them and the crown shaking them down for money every once in a while.
There have been famous and powerful movie stars since there have been movies. At no time was it considered a lose job.
>my fellow whites
Oh I see now.
Ever play monopoly with someone who really didn't want to be in charge of the money? I haven't.
Some dolphins are going to knock Ursula's mother into the land world, killing her.
the anti-semitic tropes only apply to people who read in to it and don't realize that being gnomish or being catholic or whatever religion is just something to appeal to the normies that you're going to be on magazine covers for. they want normies to believe in god as part of the status quo because god is a tool of controlling the masses. when was the last time you saw an atheist movie star?
even tom cruise is allowed to be in a scientology cult so long as he's not atheist.
btw wealthy people identify with their class. there maybe been "garden gnomes" who were merchants for kings in the past, but they idenitified as rich people. these same "garden gnomes" in the 20th century were the first to ditch germany and gave zero fucks for the working class garden gnomes or the working class garden gnomes who escaped. hitler even helped some "garden gnomes" go to israel in the transfer agreement, which also worked out with the crown's colonial satellite state plan mentioned in the first balfour declaration
No but black women are indeed very manly. I think her shoulders are wider than the prince's.
This is what every Prince dreams of marrying
imagine being so stressed that your eyebrows go bald
Careful anon. Wouldn't want Woopie stealing your eyebrows.
Disney got it the wrong way around. They went with head of a fish, body of a woman mermaid.
>implying those aren't the best mermaids
Stop leading to a declining birthrate!
Be an adult, fuck those fish girls.
It's actually insane how ugly she is
Somebody in the casting department must have mixed up mermaids with deep ones.
thank you for posting anon i love finding excuses to post this
>"ya boi H P"
gets me every time
When I say I want to fuck a mermaid, I don't mean for the top part to be the fish.
You could park a bus between those eyes.
one would hope is just because the frame taken.
But he looks so bored, and im not sure what her face is trying to convey.
while in the original you can see they are having fun and are exited
The mermen will be played exclusively by gays in the film
>underwater completly empty with soulless cgi
Looks really meh, did ever a race switch movie sold so much? I mean black arielle is okay, if she would look better and we got more of a carribean vibe. But who thought to go with 1:1 movie and muh realism? Like wtf?
She can't swim. Everything underwater had to be totally CGI.
And THAT'S why there are no black mermaids roflmao (I've been answering the "why no black mermaids?" question with that answer for DECADES...and *I'm* black and can swim. That's the other part of the comedy: I'm the last person you'd expect to hear THAT from.)
For real, what's going on with her eyes?
How heavily do you guys think reviewers will shill this one? Disney's live-action remakes usually get trashed but is a statement movie fighting against racism - or at least, that's how the press has presented it as.
I figure people will focus on whatever saving graces it has first, if any, to say "sure they messed up x y z but it's carried by a b c" if they nail the songs or Ursula does great it could have a chance.
Probably be the expanded Song List. Because no way in hell will their versions of Under the Sea or Kiss the Girl compare to the originals.
I also can nitpick
these are all main characters. There's still incidental characters who are ginger haired or white
Don't forget Aragorn
>origin of dark elves.jpg
Ah, well see that's actually Aragorn on the right and trans black Arwen on the left
French I can accept because they're French.
I still can't get over that they brownwashed Rex for a Greek actor. I know many of us can get nice and tan... if we dont spend all day inside shitposting. Yet changing the skin of a comic character for a Greek actor is crazy to me.
I actually want a show or film to make a black Zuess just to make the joke that the reason there are so many black electric based super heroes is cause of his bloodline.
the only cute one there is domino
It legit looks like a slave and her owner.
look at her driving her Mastah
And his face says it all.
I think she's cute
I acknowlege your opinion and I disagree entirely
It is a good day to drive.
As a lomg time Trekkie, that just made her hotter.
Many Klingon females are wild in the sack.
Another BET remake
>when the water is free
her nose looks like a banshee from Halo
Why didn't they make him black too
>cared enough to post.
People who don't like iconic, beautiful characters being replaced by mediocre, ugly black bitches?
Why couldnt they at least pick an attractive black actress?
all black queens are inherently beautiful. periodt.
>White savior complex
This will not end well
They are changing the story to be more feminist. Eric won't be saving Ariel.
Ariel should have been played by an 80s vibe babe since that was the inspiration for her hair.
/toon/ is going to call me a gay for this but I can imagine an alternate universe where the race switch Little Mermaid could work really well.
Like in this setting mermaid's are found predominantly in the Carribean and South America so most are naturally dark/indigenous skinned. Then when Ariel meets Prince Eric and take's her to his homeland it becomes a massive culture shock not to just her but to the people of his kingdom as he scandouslly has fallen for a black woman and there's this whole subplot where Ariel realizes theh human world isn't this idealized land she thought and in reality it's kinda shitty but the love between her and Eric is geniune and grows. I'm not going to act this shit I came up with in 5 minutes is deep or new but I'd argue it's something. Literally anything. Plus it adds some actual depth to the main characters race change.
Of course Disney doesn't have the balls to actually try anything new or be creative and instead will just be a shit rehash of the first film with some cringe "GURL BOSS FUCK YEAH!" scenes thrown in and an easilly edited out for international audiences fag kiss in the far background.
Damn dude. You added depth. Everyone was saying that the story of an independent dark mermaid would have been accepted. People buck at this specifically because it's Ariel. We know Ariel's story. We know her songs. We know what she looks like. We have in our hearts a vision or a fantasy of how she would be if she were real. If a beautiful red haired blue-eyed girl gave up everything she had just to be a part of something bigger and explore the feeling of her love. It's cute, charming subject matter and needs to match that in aesthetic.
Thanks, since you liked it I'd add some more details on how this hypoethical film that'll never happen can go.
>Land subplot including Eric having scheming noble family
>They use the scandal to try to take away Eric's right to rule for wanting to be with not just a commonor but a savage commonor at that
>Scheming brother/cousin/uncle/whatever throw's some loophole about how nobles can only marry between other loopholes and by marrying Ariel he will have to disvow the crown
>Arial meanwhile faces discrimination and disdain from most others
>Eric's shipmates also initially treat her poorly
>Overtime when hanging out with the crew Arial shows off her knowledge of the sea (she's a damn mermaid so of course she'd know this shit) this impresses her
>After all that set-up Ursula's plan can remain largley the same though but now emphasize how her disguise is some white Noble from a far off land making her more accepted by everyone
>Eric's crew thinks this is pretty shitty now that they kinda like Arial and comfront him before the wedding of disguised Ursula
>Final battle more or less stays the same
>When Arial is revealed to be a Mermaid after defeating Ursula her and Posiedan ask Arial and her crew to keep their secret so the mermaids may live in peace without human interference
>All the crew and Eric agree even if it means that not revealing Ariel's magic and noble background means Eric sacrifices being a prince and future king
>Arial sacrifices being a mermaid and Eric sacrifices being a king
>But both have a happy ending having each other
Please hire me Disney. Or really any writer this shit ain't hard.
How does mulatto Melody work in your story? I think it’d be funny if initially Melody is curious about her black side, and she takes Ariel’s dismissiveness for the culture as Ariel having internalized racism, completely unaware that it’s because mermaids. Also Blariel not knowing anything about human black culture when confronted by black humans.
I'd probably want to just come up with a whole new thing for the sequel but keep the core of it being about their child.
it could either be written for fish-out-of-water comedy or used as a dramatic moment of discovery as she realizes how horribly human's treat one another.
MY ADHD ass brain prevents me from finishing anything. Also i'm pretty damn awful with my typo's and mispellings cause Arial wasn't the only one.
>How does mulatto Melody work in your story?
She kills herself after realizing how fucking ugly she is
she's cute. i'd eat her pussy and make her a sandwich
You retards post this all the time to imply that's how every mixed person thinks or feels
If your webm was meant to illustrate your point, you failed.
Dude. You...you need to write. Honestly, man. That was good.
I would have watched your version, even if you did come up with it in 5 minutes
This sounds great. It would address real-world race issues and cast them in a narrative that can engender a positive difference, with the possibility for changing perspectives in a way that isn’t as superficial (or controversial) as merely changing a character’s skin color. And Disney can keep making bank from its tried and true “love conquers all” formula.
Now I’m mad because I can see how familiar scenes and situations from the original movie (Ariel’s dinglehopper and tobacco use, her voice being stolen and misused by Ursula, the subjugation — both real and perceived — by her own father) could be presented in an entirely new light that illuminates what life is like for a person facing prejudice for their appearance or outsider status in an otherwise welcoming society.
Very nice changes, though with how much is being changed, I think it'd work better in a new, different movie, instead of reworking an older one.
Would have been a better choice
Ariel isn't a race. She's a fictional literally soulless fish entity.
There are stories in African mythology about a fishtailed ocean god and his daughters that Disney could have adapted into a black mermaid story but they're too lazy to do that and instead, you just get a palette swapped Hans Christian Anderson story.
>Hans Christian Anderson story
Is this going to have a faithful ending where Ariel gets cucked, her sisters give her a dagger to kill the princess but she lacks the balls to do so, dies, and goes to heaven for not stabbing the prince to death?
I wish they'd have the stones to go that hard.
No, you got a made-up story with a Hans Christian Andersen title slapped on it, and even if you went with the Andersen version she's still not a human being or even a true person who happens to have a tail. The Disney version hasn't got anything to do with the point of his story.
This already has the built in base according to them. To make something new would be a "risk" to them.
You can do your "racism bad" version, just don't call the characters Eric and Ariel. Disney Eric would never fall in love with a nigress and Ariel shouldn't be an ugly nigress.
mermaids as creatures are from babylonian/sumerian mythology. mermaids have been in african and asian mythology too, long before whatever rando writer in europe
hans christian andersen was on the late bus. anyone freaking out apparently isn't aware.
Now, the real question here is, does the black bitch show her feet in a manner similar to pic related?
looks like he bought her at a slave auction
TARIQ IS GONNA FREAK!
at least she's hydrodynamic with her round face and torpedo hair that matted itself in the ocean into dreadlocks
really makes you think of what message they're sending here about black people
>Make Ariel black
>keep the part of the plot where she can't talk
Someone is going to zero in on it.
in 5-10 years, what will the remake of this remake look like?
I don't know if the Japanese know, but Daisy was acting like a bitch even before the 1990s era. Otherwise, I wouldn't be surprised if Donald and Daisy were made to be black ducks to pander to black people.
At least the other half of her looks like a fish now.
You give Kit Fisto the respect he deserves.
When Ursula is disguised later in the movie and is using Ariel's stolen voice to woo the prince, it would be funny if they made her a red haired caucasian girl like the original Ariel. People would be so pissed.
On a similar note, I did read that Ariel's VA was going to have an appearance. If she plays Ursula in disguise, that would actually be based.
Jodi Benson is over 60 years old. If she has a cameo it will be something like a royal or a servant.
She could be the prince's mother or maybe grandmother.
The Queen Mother. Probably telling how "Ariel is the daughter she never had"
Why is Erik taking a ride with one of the plantation's servant girls?
I don't know any other black men who wants more black women in movies, we don't even want to date them let alone pay money to see the ugliest among them on screen for hours.
I'm just waiting for the eventual seethe that it's a wm/bf couple.
>make characters interracial instead of making them gay
So how are they gonna make Ursula the "wronged" person in this?
She was modelled off the kind of Drag Queen for whom it actually *was* just a joke for fun. They'll make her Triton's trans brother or something and claim that Triton usurped her claim to the throne or some shit.
I can't describe it. She looks okay in video but kind of ugly in stills
I love how a darker skin tone helps her hide the fact that she is missing half of her brain lmfao
It does look like a blind date gone wrong.
But I don't think she'll be bad. As long as she maintains the wide-eyed freaking out of a literal fish out of water.
Don't know what he's looking at. Trying to work off a burrito?
We'll see how it goes. Word is she's got lots more songs than before. Dunno how that'll play out.
Other than them being tonally jarring compared to the original pieces
The Innsmouth adaptation is looking good.
How long do I have to wait for the improved version?
Negative 33 years.
>"bu-what if we put a beauty filter?"
It works both ways.
You know what, this would be by far more entertaining.
To play who? Jabba the Hut?
More like Mama the Hutt