I'm a Crimson tide man myself but because gene hackman is my favourite actor. Hunt and Tide would be 3rd and 4th, with master and das boot in the first two spots, either place is fine. Master captures the naval experience more thoroughly though. Depends on your mood, Das boot is pessimistic as hell and master is optimistic and inspiring. I have a weird suggestion for 5 snd it's Greyhound, the new one with tom Hanks, he's an old captain on his first convoy run in the battle of the Atlantic getting rekt by s pack of U-boats. It's Fury Road but with subs.
>Don't need to actually film much water >Constant free tension built into the plot because everyone dies if something goes wrong with the sub >Russians bad
>surprised to see a Tom Banks movie I had never heard of >look it up >not available digitally on Amazon >no blu-ray >DVD is almost 50 dollars >finally Bing where to watch it
Fricking of course it's this bullshit.
yes, Outcast of the Islands and The Shadow Line (the Polish one) are semiautobiographical accounts of life at sea
and of course The Duellists is one of the best movies ever (but with no boats in it)
I gave this a rewatch not long ago. The 90s gags don't really hold up but I still thought it was fun. That tank top the generals son wears is pretty embarrassing
I gave this a rewatch not long ago. The 90s gags don't really hold up but I still thought it was fun. That tank top the generals son wears is pretty embarrassing
The question of what movie best portrayed what it was like in the US military was asked on /k/ years ago when there were still ex service members hanging around and Down Periscope was generally regarded as being the closest to what the spirit of being in the Navy was like, stereotypes and gags notwithstanding.
You generally pooled together some money with your mess mates to buy your own food.
But the bare minimum was a pound of meat, a pound of ships biscuit, and a full quart of rum per man per day
Someone tallied it at 5,000 calories a day.
This is actually something I am really interested in and don't know how to research.
Are the rations people eat in the military optmized for a good digestion?
After all in the military I imagine the toilets:people ratio is extremely low so the last thing you want is people spending a long time on the toilet and worse clogging it. I also imagine they have shitty 1-ply paper and no bidet so you ideally want to have ghost shits.
This is actually something I am really interested in and don't know how to research.
Are the rations people eat in the military optmized for a good digestion?
After all in the military I imagine the toilets:people ratio is extremely low so the last thing you want is people spending a long time on the toilet and worse clogging it. I also imagine they have shitty 1-ply paper and no bidet so you ideally want to have ghost shits.
In the age of sail you essentially just shit over the side.
This could be a problem if you were bogged down in the doldrums.
I think that dysentery was a bigger issue than constipation as there were fairly reliable laxatives available at the time.
But I do think the ubiquitous dried peas could provide enough fiber.
They used to put out a barrel of water with a hole in it on deck for anyone to drink from as needed, it was called the "scuttlebutt".
Naturally this became a location for the foremost hands to exchange gossip, so scuttlebutt came to mean "sailors gossip"
Anyway most ships weren't too far away from a fresh water source at any givem
That's where grog ENTERS. Water was "purified" by mixing it with alcohol to kill germs.
life on a sailing ship seems absolutely grim, even the giants ship of the line were so complex they needed thousands of sailors to run and maintain, it's like living in a smelly hive until you get a giant splinter embedded in your chest from a cannonball hitting nearby
Life was pretty grim all over, at least you got to work out of doors and had the possibility of prize money.
You were able to go places the average man could only dream of and meet all kind of prostitutes.
Advances in agriculture meant that you needed a lot less people to grow more crops.
A lot of farmers were evicted or bought out by larger farms.
That's why the cities were so congested.
You did not really see this problem in America because there was land to spare. It was Britain, England in particular, that uprooted its agricultural population out of hunger for repurposing what little land they had.
If you weren't pressed for it then it was your only chance of, mind the pun, getting close to a bonus situation,travel and maybe make a run for it when you reached New York, Palau or the Carribean sea.
>literal slaves
They got paid, they just weren't allowed to leave.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impressment
It was like being drafted, but with more beatings.
>also what about other countries?
They were also press-ganged into joining the British Navy
11 months ago
Anonymous
>Those pressed Malay Pirates with funny names like Jelly Belly who sneak up the side of a French vessel and murder the sailors as they try to surrender.
Advances in agriculture meant that you needed a lot less people to grow more crops.
A lot of farmers were evicted or bought out by larger farms.
That's why the cities were so congested.
It was like the draft but worse. Being in the navy was almost a death sentence back then for your average grunt. Months at sea cramped together on a dirty, hot vessel with bad food and nothing but sweaty hobos for company. You're below deck with dozens of other men, some of them vomiting due to sea-sickness, others being obviously ill and spreading their miasma everywhere, only moldy bread for food (if you found a maggot in yours you could consider it a treat), high risk of accidents or even something as simple as running out of food/getting scurvy and shit. You slept in an uncomfortable hammock in horribly stuffy air and the scent of sweat and vomit and disease everywhere. Every swing your face touches the dirty ass of some other sailor and you get a nice whiff of his ass he hasn't wiped properly for weeks. The death toll was extremely high. I've read somewhere that on your average EIC voyage from Lisbon to Goa, the chances of a vessel making it back was less than 50 % (they still send them out because it paid off regardless). And only around 1/3 of all sailors bound for the East Indies ever made it back. And if they did, it was years later. You come home and don't know what to do. You've long lost your apprenticeship, you're too old to apply for a new one, your sweetheart has married someone else, your childhood friends don't recognize you anymore etc. Maybe they even took you for dead and sold all your meager belongings.
Compare that to the army. Yes, you could die on the battlefield, but 1) only if there was a war going on, and 2) at least you had the feeling of having a fighting chance. Food was infinitely better, and if there wasn't you could always just "collect" some chickens from the local peasants. Also if your army was on campaign there even was the chance of prime teenage war booty every once in a while, not months on end with nothing to do but jerking off in the bilge (don't get caught as it's a "sin" and you'll get whipped).
life on these pre ww1 battleships must have been also absolutely terrible, maybe worse than on sailing ships since in addition to the overcrowding, shitty food, beatings and hard work you also live in an iron cage full of smoke and coal dust with no heat regulation that must be absolutely scorching in the summer. Not to mention the high likelyhood of fires and explosions
Someone near me on a long plane ride was watching this and I looked over from time to time. I saw nothing but them trying to swim with sea shit for like an hour and the other part was mean blue monkey military men hanging out with the jungle dude.
It has a brilliantly funny and genius opening, woman. >April – 1805 >Napoleon is master of Europe >Only the British fleet stands before him >Oceans are now battlefields
This is how the film opens, nothing special at first glance but when you look at it closer you can see it's a subtle joke.
Lets start with the year 1805, movie implies british people invented naval combat but you'd be surprised it predates to way earlier, it exists since the ancient times. This is a jab at the Englishmen/King's ego.
Then here comes my favourite part 'Napoleon is the master of europe'.
This refers to the victory at Austerlitz and the start of the third coalition. But actually Napoleon doesn't have the Balkans, Caucasia yet and even on the Iberian peninsula the spaniards and portuguese are waging guerilla warfare against the french occupation. So this 'Master of europe' thing is just there to mock Napoleon. >Only the british fleet stands before him
This part got me a good chuckle out of me, cuz in the book they are following an American ship not a french one. The french navy already got destroyed at Trafalgar.
And now the last part is just a clever wordplay.
Since you know oceans are a body of water, why fields are a large body of ground, so calling oceans Battlefields is an oxymoron
In the book they just kind of ran aground somewhere.
The movie has bits and pieces from multiple books, Maturins self surgery for instance.
In the books he sustained that gunshot wound when he was capping a israelite for daring to touch a Christian woman.
Das Boot
based anon, the fact nobody has fpbp'd or /thread'ed this shows Cinemaphile's shit taste
zoomer board
Le boot is overrated and your paradox virgin circlejerk won't change that
>your paradox virgin circlejerk
my wot
obvious fpbp, not to take anything away from master and commander
stop samegayging already, your flick sucks get over it
no samegay, you're just the only homosexual that can't appreciate it.
back to duolinguo rajesh
OMG MUH GERMANIA
Nope
The Caine Mutiny.
I enjoy the hunt for the red october more
This is valid I do really like The Hunt for Red October. Granted now that everyone says das boot and i havent seen it i will watch that next.
I'm a Crimson tide man myself but because gene hackman is my favourite actor. Hunt and Tide would be 3rd and 4th, with master and das boot in the first two spots, either place is fine. Master captures the naval experience more thoroughly though. Depends on your mood, Das boot is pessimistic as hell and master is optimistic and inspiring. I have a weird suggestion for 5 snd it's Greyhound, the new one with tom Hanks, he's an old captain on his first convoy run in the battle of the Atlantic getting rekt by s pack of U-boats. It's Fury Road but with subs.
Why are there so many submarine movies? You would think it would be a niche interest
>Don't need to actually film much water
>Constant free tension built into the plot because everyone dies if something goes wrong with the sub
>Russians bad
>all interior shots
>character driven
Unless you're a turboautist like Cameron and build a real fricking submarine it's cheap
I am once again shilling Hornblower in the Master and Commander thread
what
The Bedford Incident
check out the original with Gregory Peck. it ain't too bad.
Hornblower is garbage compared to master and commander, I really loved hornblower as a kid but there’s just no comparison
Jack Aubrey could kick Horatio Hornblowers ass any day of the week.
Yes, but Hornblower has friends in high places and made flag rank faster than Aubrey.
Both are great.
USS Liberty: Dead in the Water (2002)
This, though it's more of a story of tragic mass murder and war crimes. The villains get away with it too.
cool it with the antisemitism
It would have been better if it was the USS Surprise not the HMS Surprise.
I'm fond of hunt for red october and widow maker.
I like das boot too, but not more than master commander.
Lastly, there was *times* that i liked that pirate show on stars... black sails? But it was often penis.
Black Sails was kino, Michael Bay is actually good when he's not doing Transexualformers
Terror was pretty great.
I liked terror a lot. I know a lot of people didn't like that it went a bit supernatural and real beast at the end. but i still liked the full season.
Couldn't get into season 2 though, for whatever reason.
The monster being an actual monster instead a more "lovecraft" thing (like they implyied for the first half of series) ruined everything.
Giant bald polar bear is about as scary a thing that could really exist (where they were)
>instead a more "lovecraft" thing
It was in the books.
irrelevant
It's very good, but barely naval after the first episode, considering they get stranded.
You can’t
ENTER
>whale song
>wolf howls (including the German's moron howl over radio)
>pointless love scenes
besides those it was just dull for the most part
Absolutely dreadful Hollywood slop that only a bot would recommend.
>surprised to see a Tom Banks movie I had never heard of
>look it up
>not available digitally on Amazon
>no blu-ray
>DVD is almost 50 dollars
>finally Bing where to watch it
Fricking of course it's this bullshit.
Hello, engine.
Forgot to say what movie
that is also Steve McQueen's kino
Probably one of the most poorly thought out mutinies in history.
This, only because of the copious amounts of ridiculously hot bare native tiddies everywhere.
I wish I could sail with the lads and fight pirates
Are any of the Joseph Conrad adaptations good?
yes, Outcast of the Islands and The Shadow Line (the Polish one) are semiautobiographical accounts of life at sea
and of course The Duellists is one of the best movies ever (but with no boats in it)
>The Shadow Line
My favorite sub movie.
Top sub tier
Not a bad demonstration of submarine/anti submarine tactics in the Atlantic. Tom Hanks gives it enough credibility to save it for me.
>Tom Hanks gives it enough credibility to save it for me.
Grim
THIS THREAD IS MISSING THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME!
I gave this a rewatch not long ago. The 90s gags don't really hold up but I still thought it was fun. That tank top the generals son wears is pretty embarrassing
The question of what movie best portrayed what it was like in the US military was asked on /k/ years ago when there were still ex service members hanging around and Down Periscope was generally regarded as being the closest to what the spirit of being in the Navy was like, stereotypes and gags notwithstanding.
would have been funny if they actually killed Rock Schneider's character instead of letting him fall into the fishing boat
You will seethe but you know it's true.
what would be the worst thing about living on a boat in the 1700s?
Trying to shit out the slop and hardtack they feed you.
You generally pooled together some money with your mess mates to buy your own food.
But the bare minimum was a pound of meat, a pound of ships biscuit, and a full quart of rum per man per day
Someone tallied it at 5,000 calories a day.
This, they had food and were not underfed. The Royal Navy actually invested in the logistics and food production chain.
The acutal worse thing is not being an officer and being subject to punishments on a whim.
I just don't want people watching me do a poo.
The head had some privacy.
Then bribe a petty officer to take a shit every other day in the focsle.
Forecastle
The English were going through a period if excessive abbreviations.
Hence bo'sun instead of boatswain.
I like that one though because of how stupid it sounds and how it basically does nothing to abbreviate it.
Russians call it "butterbrott"
And?
>Shortening "larboard" to "port"
The English have such a poor grasp on English.
>bo'sun
Bussin fr fr
The Bosun and his mates were in charge of the beatings.
Maybe this time we could skip this activity?
How the hell can you run a kings ship without flogging?
Fair enough
How else can you hold a press gang together without administering corporal punishment? Absolutely barbaric, that notion of yours. And dangerous.
This is actually something I am really interested in and don't know how to research.
Are the rations people eat in the military optmized for a good digestion?
After all in the military I imagine the toilets:people ratio is extremely low so the last thing you want is people spending a long time on the toilet and worse clogging it. I also imagine they have shitty 1-ply paper and no bidet so you ideally want to have ghost shits.
In the age of sail you essentially just shit over the side.
This could be a problem if you were bogged down in the doldrums.
I think that dysentery was a bigger issue than constipation as there were fairly reliable laxatives available at the time.
But I do think the ubiquitous dried peas could provide enough fiber.
>But I do think the ubiquitous dried peas could provide enough fiber.
What about hydration though? I imagine water was a luxury and they couldn't easily just drink 2l+ a day.
That's where grog ENTERS. Water was "purified" by mixing it with alcohol to kill germs.
what a life
They used to put out a barrel of water with a hole in it on deck for anyone to drink from as needed, it was called the "scuttlebutt".
Naturally this became a location for the foremost hands to exchange gossip, so scuttlebutt came to mean "sailors gossip"
Anyway most ships weren't too far away from a fresh water source at any givem
time.
*foremast
I love etymology.
Uh why are there schackles in the toilet, what kind of fricked up shit goes on in a ships toilet
Shitbari
the lesbians.
life on a sailing ship seems absolutely grim, even the giants ship of the line were so complex they needed thousands of sailors to run and maintain, it's like living in a smelly hive until you get a giant splinter embedded in your chest from a cannonball hitting nearby
Life was pretty grim all over, at least you got to work out of doors and had the possibility of prize money.
You were able to go places the average man could only dream of and meet all kind of prostitutes.
I would gladly take being a farmer over this
no wonder so many people turned to piracy
Advances in agriculture meant that you needed a lot less people to grow more crops.
A lot of farmers were evicted or bought out by larger farms.
That's why the cities were so congested.
You did not really see this problem in America because there was land to spare. It was Britain, England in particular, that uprooted its agricultural population out of hunger for repurposing what little land they had.
Working all day under the danger of getting amputated or getting scurvy
why would anyone sign up for it? Was the pay good or what? I don't think it's something you can do past 35 so what happens afterwards?
>sign up voluntarily
kek
If you weren't pressed for it then it was your only chance of, mind the pun, getting close to a bonus situation,travel and maybe make a run for it when you reached New York, Palau or the Carribean sea.
I doubt the entire royal navy manpower consisted of literal slaves, also what about other countries?
>literal slaves
They got paid, they just weren't allowed to leave.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impressment
It was like being drafted, but with more beatings.
>also what about other countries?
They were also press-ganged into joining the British Navy
>Those pressed Malay Pirates with funny names like Jelly Belly who sneak up the side of a French vessel and murder the sailors as they try to surrender.
What, do you think, turned them into piracy?
It was like the draft but worse. Being in the navy was almost a death sentence back then for your average grunt. Months at sea cramped together on a dirty, hot vessel with bad food and nothing but sweaty hobos for company. You're below deck with dozens of other men, some of them vomiting due to sea-sickness, others being obviously ill and spreading their miasma everywhere, only moldy bread for food (if you found a maggot in yours you could consider it a treat), high risk of accidents or even something as simple as running out of food/getting scurvy and shit. You slept in an uncomfortable hammock in horribly stuffy air and the scent of sweat and vomit and disease everywhere. Every swing your face touches the dirty ass of some other sailor and you get a nice whiff of his ass he hasn't wiped properly for weeks. The death toll was extremely high. I've read somewhere that on your average EIC voyage from Lisbon to Goa, the chances of a vessel making it back was less than 50 % (they still send them out because it paid off regardless). And only around 1/3 of all sailors bound for the East Indies ever made it back. And if they did, it was years later. You come home and don't know what to do. You've long lost your apprenticeship, you're too old to apply for a new one, your sweetheart has married someone else, your childhood friends don't recognize you anymore etc. Maybe they even took you for dead and sold all your meager belongings.
Compare that to the army. Yes, you could die on the battlefield, but 1) only if there was a war going on, and 2) at least you had the feeling of having a fighting chance. Food was infinitely better, and if there wasn't you could always just "collect" some chickens from the local peasants. Also if your army was on campaign there even was the chance of prime teenage war booty every once in a while, not months on end with nothing to do but jerking off in the bilge (don't get caught as it's a "sin" and you'll get whipped).
There were quite a lot of volunteers, but the press was still becesary.
the gay sex
life on these pre ww1 battleships must have been also absolutely terrible, maybe worse than on sailing ships since in addition to the overcrowding, shitty food, beatings and hard work you also live in an iron cage full of smoke and coal dust with no heat regulation that must be absolutely scorching in the summer. Not to mention the high likelyhood of fires and explosions
My great grandfather shoveled coal in WW1. Little anecdote he gave my grandfather;
>when the ships were firing it scared the shit out of me
Guys in the bowls of the ship were basically guaranteed to die if the ship sank.
>Sail boat vs Submarine
one of John Ford's worst movies
avatar 2
Someone near me on a long plane ride was watching this and I looked over from time to time. I saw nothing but them trying to swim with sea shit for like an hour and the other part was mean blue monkey military men hanging out with the jungle dude.
Epic.
It has a brilliantly funny and genius opening, woman.
>April – 1805
>Napoleon is master of Europe
>Only the British fleet stands before him
>Oceans are now battlefields
This is how the film opens, nothing special at first glance but when you look at it closer you can see it's a subtle joke.
Lets start with the year 1805, movie implies british people invented naval combat but you'd be surprised it predates to way earlier, it exists since the ancient times. This is a jab at the Englishmen/King's ego.
Then here comes my favourite part 'Napoleon is the master of europe'.
This refers to the victory at Austerlitz and the start of the third coalition. But actually Napoleon doesn't have the Balkans, Caucasia yet and even on the Iberian peninsula the spaniards and portuguese are waging guerilla warfare against the french occupation. So this 'Master of europe' thing is just there to mock Napoleon.
>Only the british fleet stands before him
This part got me a good chuckle out of me, cuz in the book they are following an American ship not a french one. The french navy already got destroyed at Trafalgar.
And now the last part is just a clever wordplay.
Since you know oceans are a body of water, why fields are a large body of ground, so calling oceans Battlefields is an oxymoron
Please be bait.
>Americans that Aubrey btfo in the book are French in the movie
What was that for? Are they really this insecure?
In the book they just kind of ran aground somewhere.
The movie has bits and pieces from multiple books, Maturins self surgery for instance.
In the books he sustained that gunshot wound when he was capping a israelite for daring to touch a Christian woman.
>ship movies are masculine
>also in real life it was literally law that after 30 days at sea buttfrickin was legal
Source?