It's too bad this movie sucked because we'll probably never get another Alexander epic. This was coming after Any Given Sunday which we didn't know at the time was going to be Stone's last good movie.
They were all short back then. They lived on a diet of mostly grain, fruit, and vegetable in ancient times. Meat was for special occasions. So they were getting little protein.
>Alexander III the Great, the Basileus of Macedon, the Hegemon of the Hellenic League, the Shahanshah of Persia, the Pharaoh of Egypt and the Lord of Asia >Killed by a fricking mosquito
>inherit elite army from father >every battle is just meeting the enemy head on and winning when one of the flanks routs >become a pathetic paranoid drunk that kills subordinates for no reason and was probably assassinated because of it >don't name an heir >empire crumbles literally the second after death
What was so "Great" about him?
He's right about the drunkard part, though. Despite not liking alcohol in his youth, the older he got the more he started to drink, and the more he drank the more angry he got. He killed two of his best soldier in a drunken rage.
The only bad thing about this movie is that it was too short. It should have been a trilogy. >1st movie, upbringing, ends with philip's assassination and alexander becoming king, uniting greeks and ending on the cliffhanger as he prepares to move east >2nd movie is adventure/battle kino, presumably overplay some things that happened to create a climax to the story that leads to both a cliffhanger ending/appropriate ending to the 2/3 movie >3rd movie, furthest expanses, alexander and his companions are barely recognisable as character from the first and early second movie and it naturally ends with his death and the shattering of his empire
Just started reading this a few days ago, is the rest of it as kino as the first few arcs? only thing i don’t like is how it merges Alexander with Hephaestion
>takes over an empires the Persians already forged. You made this? I made this >sends thousands of men to their death on another continent >depopulates and weakens Greeks to the point they get conquered by the Romans >executes everybody left and right without a trial. >kills a bunch of his oun men because they didn’t share his reverence of some old dead kang >dies
Why is he the great exactly?
By this logic some Black person from the getti murders enough people in a drive by he will also be the great
No, Hellenes respected other cultures like Egyptians in a way that heebs never did. They also never had a mythology were all other peoples will be their slaves.
You're doing the moronic thing that people do in that you're looking through history with a modern lens. Like how dumbfricks think "dictator" was a bad thing in ancient Rome.
The fact that you posted this map is moronic because china wasn't nearly that large at the time. He did not come close to china. He didn't even reach modern day india. He only got as far as pakistan then turned back.
>We never got to see Hellenism x China crossover.
We did actually, 200 years later in the War of the Heavenly Horses:
>Han Chinese get btfo'd by proto-mongols >Chinese horses are like shitty ponies compared to chad Xiongnu cavalry >Legend tells of cool horses way out west even better than what the northern nomads have >Send emissary with a bunch of gold westward, across the giant Tarim basin to the Greek king in Bactria (around the corner from modern day Afghanistan) >King says thx for the gold lmao and kills the ambassador >What are the Chinamen gonna do, walk an army across the desert? >Chinamen walk an army across the desert >25k Soldiers >Halfway across, local Xiongnu-aligned desert tribes get confused by the random army going through their land >Army demands water and supplies from sand people >lolno >Attrition almost wipes the army and they have to return >Probably some cannibalism here >Desert men are laughing them all the way back home >What are the Chinamen gonna do, walk another army across the desert? >Chinamen walk another army across the desert >90k soldiers this time, massive logistics, supply train alone is larger than some tribes >Subjugate absolutely every tribe, mostly without blood >Still lose half the army >At the gates of the city that killed the diplomat >King shits his tunic, didn't expect the Chinamen to actually cross the goddamn desert with an Army >Chinamen divert a fricking river to leave city without water >Nobles freak out, kill their own king and offer peace, threatening to kill all the horses too, if the Chinamen don't stop the siege >deal >3000 horses are acquired and Central Asia is taking Chinese bugman-autism seriously now >Walk all the way back home >The year is 100 B.C. and China now can breed awesome Greek horses, descended from Alexander's own Hetairoi >90% of the army lost, mostly to attrition and desertion >Decisive Han victory
Some of his entourage assumed he might be gay because they had trouble getting him to frick women. Even when growing up he apparently had no desire to touch any females because he was obsessed with academia and eventually military. He eventually got married, though.
He tenderly kisses the persian twink Bagoas after the latter wins a contest, and Quintus Rufus goes even further saying that Bagoas used his status as Alexander's boytoy to gain power and influence. He specifically mentions Alexander enjoying Bagoas' body
If it wasn't for Alexander conquering all of Persia I feel like modern historians would doubt the historicity of the Greek victories in the Greco-Persian Wars at all. They already massively downplay the numbers involved but if the Greeks just remained unconquered instead of destroying the Persians I bet historians would say the battles of Marathon, Plataea etc. were just Greek fanfiction and the Persians decided not to conquer them because they weren't worth the effort, like the Romans for Scotland.
Alexander... perhaps the greatest man to have never once thought of the Roman Empire
It's too bad this movie sucked because we'll probably never get another Alexander epic. This was coming after Any Given Sunday which we didn't know at the time was going to be Stone's last good movie.
>not watching the true alexander epic
he cant act for shit
wasnt he like 1,50m
Yes, but he had an empire to stand on.
They were all short back then. They lived on a diet of mostly grain, fruit, and vegetable in ancient times. Meat was for special occasions. So they were getting little protein.
So that's why I grew up to be a 5'11 manlet 🙁
Nope that's just how tall you is. On the bright side, you'd be an actual midge if you ate maggoty bread like everyone else did back then.
>haha those ancient white bois sure were short fr fr lmfao ngl ong!
back to school Trayvon!
Zack Snyder wanted to make an Alexander gay porn epic and it would have been kino as frick
>Alexander III the Great, the Basileus of Macedon, the Hegemon of the Hellenic League, the Shahanshah of Persia, the Pharaoh of Egypt and the Lord of Asia
>Killed by a fricking mosquito
Scholars pretty much agree that he was poisoned, the only question is by whom
https://www.amazon.com/Alexander-Great-Babylon-Graham-Phillips/dp/1852271345
It's funny how things have turned around. Twenty years ago you would have been laughed out of the room for suggesting he died of poison.
Usually I would say the israelites, but apparently the seemed comparatively fond of him.
Till he got to powerful.
>but apparently they seemed comparatively fond of him
So they killed him.
It was AIDS. People didn't know what AIDS was back then because Fauci was just a word so they blamed an insect to humiliate the great.
He should have taken the jab
Alexander's life was so kino that a feature-length film would never do it justice
if anything it needs the Waterloo treatment, focus an entire movie on a single event, flesh it out entirely.
>inherit elite army from father
>every battle is just meeting the enemy head on and winning when one of the flanks routs
>become a pathetic paranoid drunk that kills subordinates for no reason and was probably assassinated because of it
>don't name an heir
>empire crumbles literally the second after death
What was so "Great" about him?
>What was so "Great" about him?
everything you just described and more
You forgot how he seethed at his fellow Macedonians not wanting to be persia-boo's like he was.
you answered your own reddit question
>every battle is just meeting the enemy head on and winning when one of the flanks routs
read about tyre, Black person
>What was so "Great" about him?
Spread Greek and Persian culture, which are two of the greatest cultures on earth
>empire fell apart
not really, the regions he setup for administration continued for over a thousand years afterward, just switching hands
nothing you said is accurate
He's right about the drunkard part, though. Despite not liking alcohol in his youth, the older he got the more he started to drink, and the more he drank the more angry he got. He killed two of his best soldier in a drunken rage.
The only bad thing about this movie is that it was too short. It should have been a trilogy.
>1st movie, upbringing, ends with philip's assassination and alexander becoming king, uniting greeks and ending on the cliffhanger as he prepares to move east
>2nd movie is adventure/battle kino, presumably overplay some things that happened to create a climax to the story that leads to both a cliffhanger ending/appropriate ending to the 2/3 movie
>3rd movie, furthest expanses, alexander and his companions are barely recognisable as character from the first and early second movie and it naturally ends with his death and the shattering of his empire
Just started reading this a few days ago, is the rest of it as kino as the first few arcs? only thing i don’t like is how it merges Alexander with Hephaestion
what's that
Historie
Just read the Anabasis of Alexander you uncultured weeb.
on a slightly related note the OG Anabasis would make a fantastic show or movie
Xenophon? Yeah.
just read yas' alexandros
Mostly just for Rosario Dawsons rockin breasts..
>Roxanne irl was a blue-eyed pale ginger
>cast that swarthoid
the breasts are quite the saving grace though.
I'm thinking it's KINO
>takes over an empires the Persians already forged. You made this? I made this
>sends thousands of men to their death on another continent
>depopulates and weakens Greeks to the point they get conquered by the Romans
>executes everybody left and right without a trial.
>kills a bunch of his oun men because they didn’t share his reverence of some old dead kang
>dies
Why is he the great exactly?
By this logic some Black person from the getti murders enough people in a drive by he will also be the great
>depopulates and weakens Greeks to the point they get conquered by the Romans
You're just embarrassing yourself
>Alexander, BEE rea-so-na-bull!
I reference that in real life often and no one has yet to know where it's from.
Yet, I continue to do it.
>Almost reached China
>NOOOO we wanna go back!
We never got to see Hellenism x China crossover.
>Globalism replacing native cultures :I
>ancient warmonger replacing native cultures :0
>>We never got to see Hellenism x China crossover.
>he doesn't know about the origins of buddhism
Imagine leaving your home and family for 12 years to fight in some unknown barbaric shitholes
>barbaric
Were Greeks that much more developed than Persians back then?
Same bearded dude in walking around in tunics
barbaric literally meant non Greeks
So Basicly….goyim?
No, Hellenes respected other cultures like Egyptians in a way that heebs never did. They also never had a mythology were all other peoples will be their slaves.
You're doing the moronic thing that people do in that you're looking through history with a modern lens. Like how dumbfricks think "dictator" was a bad thing in ancient Rome.
Barbarian was perjorative toward foreign culture, not wealth.
reached China
Not even fricking close, lmao. He couldn't even get through India and his army was extremely broken by that point.
If you count xinjiang province as china, he did come very close. Xinjiang only became part of china in the Ming or Qing dynasty though.
He came pretty close, tbh
The fact that you posted this map is moronic because china wasn't nearly that large at the time. He did not come close to china. He didn't even reach modern day india. He only got as far as pakistan then turned back.
pajeet cope
>We never got to see Hellenism x China crossover.
We did actually, 200 years later in the War of the Heavenly Horses:
>Han Chinese get btfo'd by proto-mongols
>Chinese horses are like shitty ponies compared to chad Xiongnu cavalry
>Legend tells of cool horses way out west even better than what the northern nomads have
>Send emissary with a bunch of gold westward, across the giant Tarim basin to the Greek king in Bactria (around the corner from modern day Afghanistan)
>King says thx for the gold lmao and kills the ambassador
>What are the Chinamen gonna do, walk an army across the desert?
>Chinamen walk an army across the desert
>25k Soldiers
>Halfway across, local Xiongnu-aligned desert tribes get confused by the random army going through their land
>Army demands water and supplies from sand people
>lolno
>Attrition almost wipes the army and they have to return
>Probably some cannibalism here
>Desert men are laughing them all the way back home
>What are the Chinamen gonna do, walk another army across the desert?
>Chinamen walk another army across the desert
>90k soldiers this time, massive logistics, supply train alone is larger than some tribes
>Subjugate absolutely every tribe, mostly without blood
>Still lose half the army
>At the gates of the city that killed the diplomat
>King shits his tunic, didn't expect the Chinamen to actually cross the goddamn desert with an Army
>Chinamen divert a fricking river to leave city without water
>Nobles freak out, kill their own king and offer peace, threatening to kill all the horses too, if the Chinamen don't stop the siege
>deal
>3000 horses are acquired and Central Asia is taking Chinese bugman-autism seriously now
>Walk all the way back home
>The year is 100 B.C. and China now can breed awesome Greek horses, descended from Alexander's own Hetairoi
>90% of the army lost, mostly to attrition and desertion
>Decisive Han victory
Iranians were, and are, not Hellenistic.
His liver, and the eagle that eats it, must be huge
>CASSANDER!! FOUR COLUMNS. GO!
BAG
BAGO
BAGOAS
I'D LOVE TO LEARN YOUR LANGUAGE
is Alexander the Gary Stu of history? he even has Heterochromia
Bad casting.
Utter KINO https://youtu.be/aQJWuV7EDWA
Probably my favorite soundtrack to a movie ever
>be Macedonian hatamoto
>finally enter Babylon (Iraq)
>enter the former kang's harem
>go straight to the eunuchs
>a fricking paddy as alexander the great
oliver stone is a terrible director and a cia asset
In Stone’s defense Alexander was a heavy drinker
Even his horse is famous.
Is there even a single contemporary historical text stating he engaged in homosexual relations? or is all that just gayfanfic?
Some of his entourage assumed he might be gay because they had trouble getting him to frick women. Even when growing up he apparently had no desire to touch any females because he was obsessed with academia and eventually military. He eventually got married, though.
>got married
and produced at least one son
He tenderly kisses the persian twink Bagoas after the latter wins a contest, and Quintus Rufus goes even further saying that Bagoas used his status as Alexander's boytoy to gain power and influence. He specifically mentions Alexander enjoying Bagoas' body
That's not gay.
If it wasn't for Alexander conquering all of Persia I feel like modern historians would doubt the historicity of the Greek victories in the Greco-Persian Wars at all. They already massively downplay the numbers involved but if the Greeks just remained unconquered instead of destroying the Persians I bet historians would say the battles of Marathon, Plataea etc. were just Greek fanfiction and the Persians decided not to conquer them because they weren't worth the effort, like the Romans for Scotland.
Greek BVLLS were the first conquer the subhuman browns from africa and asia
those aren't roman. they were done by egyptians trying to emulate ptolemaic greek art
rosario shows off her nice pair of dawsons in that, i'll give it that much. oliver stone is a boomer libtard though