>Oh anon, you're trying the Grenoble opening but I'll just counter that with the St Petersburg defense. You won't suffer for long, do you want to go to my room later to get drunk and have mediocre sex?
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People unironically think chess is played that way
How is it played?
Oi matey me predetermined strategies beat your predetermined strategies.
>open with the fender bender slant
>opponent counters with the chimney sweep
>didnt see my portable pocket watch coming
>lashes back with the Scandinavian slaughter shed
>barely return fire with the tickled pickle pluck
>lands a big counter with the penny spotter
>played right into my hypothermic Koloa
It was a match for the ages
DISCOMBOBULATE
It's like I'm really at EVO
opening
midgame
endgame
What is HER endgame?
>What is HER endgame?
Evading the military scientists trying to bring her back to Area 51
to have strong independent frogwoman sex with you.
realistic chess movie would never work, its all practice, memorization and repetition.
its pretty pointless too all that monumental effort over useless board game
Gain a slight material advantage via some trick or setup, then trade down all your pieces until you're left with just a minor piece, king and a few pawns, and be good enough at endgames to force a checkmate. If you can do that reliably you can beat 90%+ of the general public at chess. I wish someone had told me this when I was 11 then maybe I could have become legit good.
>make eyes contact
>smash cut to sex
You don't have mediocre sex with all your opponents???
Women unironically think that women are good at chess
is there anything women are inherently better at than men?
ask ur mum kid
Raising children
Not even. 90% of prison inmates were raised by single mothers. Women breastfeed and that’s it. Men make better role models and leaders for children
Deceit
There are women who are better at chess than 90% of men. But top-ranking men will usually curbstomp them. Magnus Carlson lost to that Eastern European chick in 12 moves a little while ago - Judith Polgar or something like that - and it was a huge deal because stuff like that happening is so rare
Judit Polgar. Probably the best female chess player ever.
she beat him in 12 moves?? damn qweeen
>12 moves
Sounds like he wasn't even trying
It was a blitz game and she used a movie that that is practically never used. In short time format games preparation is everything and he didn't know the perfect move to counter. And he resigned, so it was 12 moves but he wasn't checkmated.
I'd let her mate me any day
>There are women who are better at chess than 90% of men
That's moronic, but on the contrary as the image show a man is better than 100% of women
>There are women who are better at chess than 90% of men
>source: my ass
>Hou Yifan
>ranked in top 100 of worldwide active players
>not better at chess than 90% of men
Anon you are fricking moronic
thats a man
If it were a man his rank would probably be higher
Are you moronic? That girl is not in the top 100 ranked players.
>World Rank (active players): 95
>World Rank (all players): 105
Clearly within the top 100 of worldwide active players, which is what I said earlier.
Eat. Shit.
Judit and her sisters were trained from birth by their father to be chess grandmasters. Basically maxed out nature and nurture to put a woman in the top 10 grandmasters. And they were israeli
Most early prodigies are like that. Carlson could solve 50-piece jigsaw puzzles by 2, his dad taught him chess at 5. Shortly thereafter he was being coached by former masters and grandmasters.
>There are women who are better at chess than 90% of men
>stuff like that happening is so rare
Yeah it’s rare because she should have been doing laundry or cooking or cleaning.
it's rare because chess in general, and competitive chess in particular, reward traits typically found in men and only seldom found in women:
>strategy
>passion for victory
>drive to memorize facts
Men often have a drive to dominate and come out on top no matter the difficulty involved in doing so. Women can have this drive, and some of them do, but it's far more common to find it in a man vs. a woman.
How long until troony becomes #1 women in chess?
That's literally how it's played.
Netflix subscribers believe everything they see on TV.
No thank you. I will try to get a knight fork and then waste time moving my king across the board when it doesn't work.
nah. I'm good at forcing draws (all pros are lol)
I'm going to open your legs and move my wiener into your ass.
Hmmmm yes the kings gambit. I too am a fan of the gargoyle's scramble. Back in 1956, fred Doopenmitzer used the eeiney meeny miney moe techinique against an oponent who was primarly on the defensive edge playing right cross guard with his two knights in assembly. However looking back on the game you could tell that when you position the queen on D6, and tbe rook is on G12, then you realize that the ho-chi-minh's ancient suprise is actually a secretly galavanted prideman's oak. Very interesting move indeed. in fact I wpuld've moved the bishop 5 squares over and invoked the holy foil rule of 1266 in which king james the 18th sucked a dick on a bicycle in order to convince his chess opposite that the bishop could be switched from black to white. Cleverly though, you've maintaine the kings hold long enough for a gay king and his assclap checkmate. The game is mine. And you're done for!
i can unironically beat her in chess but frick up with the mediocre sex offer
What's your FIDE rating?
A million billion. How about you?
A million billion+1 😛
Thank God I don't know anything about chess... and sex.
Reminder that there are no women in the top 100 chess players in the world.
Reminder there are no women among incel mass shooters
wasn't there a female shooter in an airport right fricking today?
Wasnt that YouTube shooter a woman or does it not count because they were non binary?
She didn't kill anyone but herself because women are terrible mass shooters too
I mean if you're offering why would I say no?
That said I don't drink so your on your own for that part
How is mediocre sex compared to great sex?
mediocre sex >>> a good fap >>>>>>>>>>>> great sex
um anon your sign might be backward
He's larping and pretends that he had sex. Leave him alone. Who cares if he used the wrong one. He had sex.
Pretty mediocre
safe sex is great sex
better wear a latex
you dont want that late text
baby i think im late text
Incredibly embarrassing.
You are a moronic homosexual
Who should be stomped like a maggot
You're probably a disgusting Black person
I'll use my gun and pull the trigger
And you'll get a text
And your mom gets a text
And your boss gets a text
And your dad gets a text
Nice rhymes, mongoloid.
zoom zoom
You can practically see her meditating on the Scotch Game to take her mind off the boring sex she's having.
Based autist.
>tfw fricking Dudley tapped that
who cares, machines have surpassed humans in chess for decades now
>If you win, I'll let you cum inside me
>If you lose, I'll crush your balls
Do you play?
yes. it's a win either way
>*boots up stockfish 15 on my magic mirror*
Nothing personel
In person, moron. Or do it online. 1 minute, bullet, speedchess rules, have fun with your software shitting itself.
yeah and I do everything possible to lose
You know if she wins she's gonna pop your testicles right?
Yes?
here is that game
>steamrolls every tournament
>5 time world champion
>decides to not defend his title ruining the prestige of "world champion" afterwards (everyone knows whoever is next champion still isn't the best in the world)
>gets drunk on stream blasting eminem playing hyper bullet and smoking everyone
>millionare
>white
what a chad
the best part about him is that he's not some autist weirdo, he's just a normal dude who likes to party and shit like that.
and the fact that there's absolutely no doubt that he is the best, no one can really claim that at this point. it's fun to see a "era" like this, where one player (in any game/sport) is so dominant. like Michael Schumacher in his prime, for example.
John C. Reilly looking homie
I wish I had the interview where he talks about taking breaks and chilling out so he doesn't get autistically crazy like most chess prodigies.
when do we get the sequel where she becomes a reclusive anti semetic hermit in iceland (but sexy)?
no stop talking gobblediasiatic, you're drunk
my ex loved this and really got into chess, and I told her the brutal honest truth about chess and how even im moronic at it and i mopped the fricking floor with her beaner ass. She assumed i cheated. the chess board gathers dust.
You can improve with practice and study. Obviously someone who has played 5 games in her entire life will get demolished.
Sounds like you were moronic, anon.
>teach your gf chess, popular openings
>have fun with chessplaying gf
>possibilities.jpg
>instead insult her about women's inherent disadvantage and insult her
god you're stupid
he was afraid of losing to Nepomniachtchi, right?
No. He was afraid of the The Bongcloud Attack or Bongcloud Opening.
Which lead into the double bongcloud.
Probably
No, you are really ugly.
She looks dumb
Shut up, b***h.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Nice job but i'm stronger and faster than you
I would promptly blunder my next move and likely lose the game as a result. Chess at a high level is extremely intense, and the following result would occur:
>cannot strategize, peepee too haard
Reportedly, Cinemaphile also had this problem with Malenia's second phase.
What if you were playing against her and she leaned back and put her bare feet up on the table right in front of you?
I don't think putting a frog in a mating press and breeding her is medicore sex for me.
I like to think I'm so bad at chess I can make any game end in a stalemate, because these masters will be trying to counter REAL strategies not my absolute moron chaos
Actual strategists should know how to deal with randomness
No, you'll just lose.
>Oh anon, you're trying the Grenoble opening
Actually no, but I saw your /French opening/ panties earlier when you stepped up from the chair to get a drink and I saw your pussy-hole and ass-hole simultaneously, if you know what I mean. *winkwink*
how do I learn all the openings
Do I need to buy a book
You recite them in the morning after you wake up. And yes, keep a book under your pillow so the knowledge transfers into your brain while you sleep.